Insight and Explanation

Hi, I am a parent and just discovered your blog. I wanted to comment about posts I saw regarding people walking with a crying child in a stroller. When my son was 4 months old, I was walking to meet my husband at work. I was on a busy street with no benches and my son started crying when I was 3 blocks from my husband's office because he wanted to nurse. When I was a block away, he was frantically screaming and I was walking as fast as I could to get to the office where I would be able to sit down and nurse him. I was yelled at by a woman who was incensed that I would let my baby cry like that. She told me I needed to take him out of the stroller immediately and I was being awful to him. I debated responding to her, but knew that explaining the situation would just prolong my babies screaming, so I passed her without response as she yelled after me. I am sure she thought I was awful. My point is, sometimes there is a reasonable explanation for a kid crying in a stroller- just wanted to share that! Thanks!


Manhattan Nanny said...

That must have been so stressful for you, being yelled at on top of your baby being in distress!
There are frequently postings here reporting a nanny ignoring a screaming child as she pushes the stroller, followed by responses giving all the possible reasons this situation may be unavoidable. The child is throwing a tantrum because he doesn't want to go home, in which case you are supposed to ignore it; the baby is over tired and will only fall asleep riding in the stroller etc.
There will always be people who don't have a lot of experience caring for babies/toddlers who are horrified by the sight of a child they think is being neglected. We just have to tell ourselves, they mean well!

NannyPants said...

Thanks for posting, MB. I often think the ones yelling at you for something like that are the ones just LOOKING for a reason to yell. It's pointless.
Babies cry. That's just the way it is and the way it always will be. They are BABIES. Just because they cry does not automatically mean they are being neglected!! I have been given dirty looks for my charge crying in his stroller when walking around...he cries when he is overtired and as long as I keep the stroller moving, he falls asleep. It's not an every day occurance but sometimes it just happens!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

As both a Nanny and a Mother, I have walked many crying children in strollers. Sure upon first impression, one may think this child was being abused. However, many factors could be at play here. Some children, especially toddlers, do not like to be restrained in a stroller at times. So they may cry and pitch a fit.

Bethany said...

Wow! That lady had some nerve,
You handled it well btw.

You are right sometimes babies and toddlers pitch a fit and it's not abuse, and sometimes there is very little you can do to calm them.

I've known a baby or two wher trying to hold or calm them actually aused them to flip out more.

MissMannah said...

Thanks for posting this. I would love for everyone to realize that you don't have to be afraid of a crying baby. Just as your baby was not permanently damaged from crying for 3 blocks, most babies are not being damaged when they are allowed to cry.

Fiona said...

You make a great point, OP!

As a mother of two, I can relate to the judemental stares of passersby.

Many people get uncomfortable when a baby cries. In fairness the cry of a bay is one of the most stressful sounds on earth, we have a biological response to it.

We hear it and assume something is wrong, In most cases they're simply expressing themselves. Hungy. tired. sleepy.

It's good for people to be vigilent and protect those who cannont defend themselves, but we must also exercise wisdom.

jen said...

I agree Fiona. And wow, I must say you wrote that so eloquently!

Phoenix said...

I've always said there is a reason for a kid cryin that.

People don't know how to mind their own business. And if some stranger came up to me and told me what to do (no matter what) I would come off the ground Id hit them so hard

But you coudn't do that since you were trying to get to a place to comfort your baby

Phoenix said...

i don't agree that baby crys are beautiful. If im stuck inside with one i usually have to leave because I can't stand it. if someone brings baby into a movie theater, they will leave.

if they are at a restaurant and their baby starts crying, they should leave

Aries said...

There are alot of ignorant people in this world who don't think before they talk. Your very strong, if some stranger tried telling me something like that about my OWN child, I would go off. At the end of the day, i'm the mom who loves my children, the stranger doesn't love my child, so for s/he to say something like that would get me really mad.

Handynanny said...

Babies cry to communicate. If you know what they are communicating for example, I'm tired, or I'm hungry, then you know that pushing the stroller home is the best option while taking them out is only going to prolong their agony. You knew your baby was hungry so you stayed on the mission and did what was best. A great example and more often then not the situation at hand...