The Green-Eyed Monster Mom
What is going on with mom jealously lately? So many moms seem to have totally lost perspective here. I try to be sympathetic to how the moms feel, but it is getting harder and harder because the moms seemed to have degenerated into whiny babies crying for attention. I have had so many moms lately say things to me like, "Oh my kids don't care about me, they would rather have you," or "They are always so much better behaved for you, they must like you better." Are they trying to put a guilt trip on me? Are they so desperately insecure that they need me to tell them that isn't the case? I used to try and reassure them, but I am frankly sick of it. They all say they want a kind loving nanny that their child will bond with, but then when the child is happy to see me, they have an issue. What are moms trying to accomplish by telling the nanny this? Don't you know that of course your kid loves you best? Why on earth do you need the nanny to reassure you? If they really have a jealousy problem, why can't they just sit down with me and say, "I'm feeling a little worried about this....etc" Why all the Poor Me crap?
The main problem I have is when the mom says this stuff in front of the kids, or directly to them, "Oh you don't love Mommy, now Nanny is here, I don't matter anymore," basically it sounds like they are they trying to put a guilt trip on the kids for liking the nanny. Don't you moms understand that when your child hears you say something like that it is hurting him? How is he supposed to understand that mommy leaves him with a nanny, but he isn't supposed to like the nanny? I can't think of any good reason to say stuff like this in front of your own kids. I understand that moms sometimes feel bad if their child seems to prefer the nanny, but it is really getting ridiculous. How can you bring a child into this world and not be able to have enough self control not to put an emotional burden on your kids?
I had an 8 year old girl I babysit occasionally whisper to me once, "Don't act like we're having too much fun together. Mommy might get sad." How awful is that, a 8 year old who feels responsible for her mom's emotional state. And she knows that mommy won't be happy if she (the child) is having fun with anyone else. I really wish that people who have jealousy issues like this would get it sorted out before they decide to have kids. And if they do have kids, keep the jealousy away from them at all times. Talk to your spouse/partner. Talk to your own parents. Talk to a therapist. Talk to your nanny if you absolutely must, just don't whine and lay a guilt trip on her. But for crying out loud, don't dump this on your kids. I cannot understand parents who put their own emotional needs over those of their kids.
at 5:50 PM