The Super Annoyed Nanny

opinion 1
I have a few issues at hand that I would love everyone's opinions on. First let me start with some background info. I had up until September been working as a nanny in a nanny share for almost three years. Originally when I started there were two different families that I was employed for. The original contract stated that the families would cover three different taxes. I'm not positive but state, Medicaid, and unemployment seem like this was our agreement.

For 2009 I received a w2 from one family (who I no longer work for) from the other family whom of which I stayed with for the three years did not in fact give me a w2. I then had to claim as if I owned my own business and my tax return was 2000$ less when everything was all said and done. They were 2 months late even giving a number to report in 2009. I let this tax issue go even if they had broken our contract. Of course since they took advantage of me with this they clearly didn't value me as an employee so things got even more frustrating as time went on.

I was sexually harassed by a family friend that they knew had a tendency to treat younger women disrespectfully. The father who worked from home and kept his door open was in my face all day long and anything he said was questioning my actions. You guys wouldn't believe how overbearing he was. So my main mistake in this shortened story was that I was ready to quit on
numerous occasions because of this stay at home father.... I made the huge mistake of talking to my other employer who was at this point a friend (she was the other family in the share). I told the mother that I was struggling with the DB and he was rude, a micromanager and that he made me feel as tho he didn't trust me. He also would do weird things like pick up my phone and read a text (when I would never even go near his phone.) He would take my lunch even tho my name was on it and he would eat it right in from of me. When the family that I loved told me that they were going to look for another nanny to watch their new baby and that they were going to put their older child in a center for interaction with other children I was devastated. They were amazing communicators and were always appreciative of the little things.

So after not much thought I approached the awesome MB and asked her if they would think about keeping me on as their nanny and leaving the current nanny share. Obviously the awesome DB and MB said yes. So now I am happily in the new nanny share. I gave the family that I had been with for three years a 4 1/2 month notice to find a new nanny. They didn't take it well at all! The dad walked away and slammed his door. He did not pay me for the next two weeks. He did not talk to me for the next two months and barely even after that I was told by the wife MB that I was unprofessional, ruining their marriage ....etc. It was unbelievable.

The hard part was the mothers (the two MBs) talked the day after I gave my notice. I would have NEVER told the original MB or DB how I felt about the DB. But for some reason the (awesome MB ) told the other MB that I had an issue with the overbearing DB the day after I gave my notice! Awesome MB had NO right whatsoever to tell my other employer anything. She should have said talk to the nanny. I obviously shouldn't have gossiped about my employer to anyone let alone the other family in the share. Trust me I have learned my lesson! The awesome MB never apologized to me for her telling the other family that I was having a hard time with the DB. The 4 1/2 notice was a nightmare because both of the overbearing MB and DB were so mad at me.

Now they still haven't fixed my tax issues months later. I have a contract that they broke. They never filed for 2009 and I got my w2 for 2010 and it was incorrect. I feel as though I am untitled to this money. What do you all think? My other question was my new contract with awesome MB states that I only have 3 paid days. The days are either sick days/personal days/or vacation days. I feel as though my last contract was 5 paid vacation days and 5 sick/personal days. I am a bit offended since I left my job for them and also if it wasn't for the MB I would have most likely have a good reference from the other family. The main reason they were upset with me is because the DB was so embarrassed about people hearing that he was rude, overbearing and a micromanager. What do you all have for vacation time? I am super annoyed and feel that I should have triple this time.


MissMannah said...

The only thing I got out of this was you feel you should have gotten more vacation days than you did, which still doesn't make any sense. Look at your contract and what does it say: 5 or 3? I really have no idea what you're asking, nor do I have any idea why you gave so much information.

hmmm said...

I agree, you acted unprofessionally and got bit in the a#$. Argue your vacation time before you get into the job. It has nothing to do with your or your new boss being blabberheads.

another nanny said...

If you are not happy with the terms of your contract, it is perfectly reasonable to renegotiate it with your boss (preferably prior to starting, but after is fine if you've already started). But MB doesn't "owe" you anything just because you left your old job to take a new job, or because you chose to gossip about your other employer behind his back- to someone who knew him, no less.

Phoenix said...

It seems that I am going to need to write up a tax article and post it here. Too many people think you can take expenses as a business and be a nanny. You CANT do that. W2 income only !!!!!! Unless you are a daycare, that is a business. I will get it together.

Sounds like the dad in your third paragraph felt that since you were in his house everything belonged to him. I am not sure why you mentioned you were sexually harrassed though. I think that may be why you have low selfesteem. Or you felt that since this family knew you were abused they should give you special attention? I don't know how that is beneficial to your argument but it explains a lot about you.

Sounds like your awesome MB wasn't vety awesome at keeping things private. And she doesn't need to apologize to you for saying that about the mean DB. You can't control what comes out of other people's mouht, just what comes out of yours. You shouldn't have gosspied, glad you were taught a lesson....

What exactly are you worried about? do you want them to pay you or adjust your W2?

YOu need to stick up for yourself. If you want 5 paid days, ask for them. Maybe you will negotiate at settle on 4. You should not have triple this time. Be reasonible. Also note: your new family is going to wonder what you are saying to other people about them. They may not be that open to discussion about your contract.

You also need therapy. I'm not being mean. I've had very close friends who were assaulted. Therapy will teach you the tools on how to deal with your abuse and it will help you to not have ANY abuse repeated. You let the mean DB abuse you whether you noticed or not.

ELam said...

This can't be real. It just can't be.

Your taxes were done incorrectly and yet you still filed and got screwed out of $2000. And continued to work for them. Not sure where the sexual harassment ties in with your job... but you continued to work for a man who went through your personal belongings and stole your lunches? Then you made a colossal mistake of trash talking your employers to your other employers who are friends with your crappy employer. What did you think was going to happen? And 4 1/2 months notice?! Whaaaat?!

And now you are working for an "awesome" family who give you 3 paid days of per year. Yea, they sound stellar.

If this is a true story, I sincerely hope you quit and get away from both of these families and start fresh in a new position. I'm also not quite sure that being a nanny is right for you if you are someone who allows yourself to be so horribly taken advantage of. You need a backbone, common sense, and a new job.