Is it standard to have a parent request you don't wear make up or nail polish? I don't anyway but I just wanted to know if this was common.
56 comments:
NannyB
said...
I've never come across that in a job...my bosses have all worn makeup to work and many of them painted their nails so I can't imagine they'd have a problem with it. Was there a reason behind the request?
The only reason I can think for this crazy request is if the MomBoss thinks you are pretty and doesn't want her husband to like you. She must be insecure.
I wear light make-up to work and I ALWAYS paint my finger/toenails in black polish. I thought this color might be inappropriate for being a Nanny, but a lot of my charges tell me they like the color.
I don't think that is standard at all! I think it is kind of a weird request. As someone who never leaves the house without makeup and always has my nails painted, I would not take that job. I would certainly ask for a reason as to why MB doesn't want you to wear those things.
people have come on here saying their nanny dresses too provocatively, to which a lot of people on here comment to just ask the nanny to wear more 'child-friendly' clothes, like jeans and a tshirt. i have never heard, however, of telling a nanny not to wear makeup or to paint her nails. that's very odd to me. what exactly did your employer say to you?
Could they be scared of the chemical in the products being exposed to the child? Make up can have a lot of harsh chemicals, maybe the kids are sensitive? I would kindly ask why and if the answer is because of a provocative appearance I'd prob find a different job because they will just find other reasons to be upset with your appearance.
I agree with Bostonnanny. If it is a medical reason, I could understand. But anything other than a documented medical reason would be grounds for turning the job down in my opinion.
Is there any makeup on the market nowadays that isn't hypoallergenic? I would certainly want an explanation of the reason she requires this before I'd considere this job!
I'm gonna go ahead and disagree that this is "weird". Many companies have policies about appearance. The entire food service industry prohibits nail polish. Walt Disney requires "the Disney look" which rules out eyewear that is "flashy". I would simply ask why, to better understand where the parents are coming from. Or as someone said, maybe the MB finds you too attractive and is worried about her husband (though that's a dynamic that would make me run). Either way, I don't find the request in itself to be too off putting, but you should decide if it's okay with you or not. It's certainly not "standard".
I thought about allergies, but severe allergies weren't mentioned in the initial ad. I asked about it and didn't get much of an answer. If it's severe allergies I'd want to know.
I don't wear makeup anyway. I'm just that lazy. I don't wear more than chapstick for interviews.
I guess that answers my question if it's a typical request or not.
Not weird to me. While not frequently, I've had families request that I not wear makeup or nail polish to work. (I rarely wear them in life, so it wasn't a big deal to me.) Their reasoning was the chemicals in these products. My hands prepare their children's food, in addition to carry kids and basic interaction. Little kids are by adult faces a lot. The mom didn't wear makeup around the kids either (and rarely wore nail polish, which she removed at the slightest chip) so it was a house rule, versus a nanny rule.
For what it's worth, a study was released earlier this week (by the FDA) that revealed over 400 lipsticks that contain lead. Yes, the risk to my charges is so slight and it might be overprotective parenting, but it didn't bother me.
I have never heard of a family requesting this. But I never wear makeup and very rarely wear nail polish, so maybe that's the reason why I've never come across it.
On another note...why do nannies feel they need to wear makeup anyway? Who are you guys dressing up for? I doubt your charges care. I really don't mean for this to sound rude, I'm genuinely curious. I've never understood why women wear makeup--I hate it. Last time I wore it was on my wedding day over a year ago, and even that was a very minimal amount.
To answer your question Miss Mannah, us women wear make-up to look prettier. A woman who doesn't wear any make-up looks plain...like she doesn't care about her appearance to make an effort. In some professions, it is required to wear make-up as it conveys a professional appearance.
There are some woman who look absolutely gorgeous w/out make-up, but most women benefit from highlighting their features a bit. I wear a little foundation to even out my skin tone, some lipstick to add color to my face and maybe some mascara to open up my eyes. I like a natural look and do not like the make up doll look that some women like. These women would look weird as nannies to me. I.e., showgirls, etc...
I have never heard of a request like this, however, I have heard of employers requesting the nanny not wear perfume or scented body lotions due to allgeries. My cousin and I went shopping yesterday, and she is allergic to most perfumes sprayed in the air; I used to have issues in the laundry aisle at the grocery store when detergent companies used cardboard boxes instead of bottle for laundry soap.
An interesting point that Mannah made: why are we, as nannies and early childhood educators who work with children wearing make-up when the children love us for who we are au naturalle?
An interesting point Mary Kay Fan made: we wear make-up to look enhance our highlights and to avoid looking plain.
I am an early childhood educator working two jobs, both in a center and as a nanny. Why do I wear make-up?
-to add color to my face -to highlight my features -to look lively
I use a brush to apply foundation and concealer, which provides a more even, polished look compared to a sponge or fingers. TruBlend from Cover Girl rocks! For my eyelids, I use Clinique Touch Base for eyes, which technically is used to highlight a neutral shadow. My mascara is Clinique Hich Impact(I think)and my blush is Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush in Dollface, a very subtle pink. Lipgloss is either clear or pink.
I am not high matienence, I just like color, which is another reason why I wear make-up. I don't wear it everyday. If I did, then I guess I would be high mateinence.
MissMannah, to answer your question, I just feel blah when I don't have makeup on. I am a redhead so my eye lashes are basically invisible and I HATE that! So I always wear mascara.
"A woman who doesn't wear any make-up looks plain...like she doesn't care about her appearance to make an effort"
OUCH! I sure am glad my husband doesn't agree with you on that one!
Though you are right to a certain extent: I don't care too much about my appearance while working to make much of an effort. Yes, I'm lazy, which is why I'm a jeans-tshirt-ponytail type of nanny. Fortunately my MB wears exactly that everyday too.
Why would she ask that? Does she have daughters? Does she want people to look uglier than she does?
I have never heard of any of the MB my friend nanny's for ask her to not wear make-up. Some parents might think it will entice their daughters but that's all.
I love make-up. Since I can't wear some of my outragious clothes that I like to work I express myself through eye shadow! Can you say glitter and bright flashy colors!!!! I'm more artist than anything else. I think it should be ok to express yourself. But I think you should be allowed to wear make-up just keep it natural.
Nail polish and mascaras can flake; as a parent, I would not want a caregiver taking care of my infant or preparing food for my children while wearing either.
My family is also very allergy-prone and sensitive to smells and chemicals. I might request that a nanny discontinue using a certain laundry detergent, body soap, shampoo, or hairstyling product if it bothered one or all of us. Incidentially, I wouldn't hire a nanny with long fingernails for my infant, either.
During your off hours you can dress and fix yourself however you want. While on the job, it's my opinion that a nanny's appearance should be clean & basic, and that's it. It's not a fashion show.
My opinion has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity - it's about practicality and safety. The nanny's focus should be on the care of the child/children, not on touching up her makeup which has rubbed or sweated off during playtime.
The child would be 6 months old at the time of the job so I don't think it would be enticing her to try makeup. I understand allergies and safety issues but non of that was given as a reason.
I wasn't wearing makeup on the interview. I don't wear makeup on the job anyway. I keep my nails short because of the job and long nails and polish bug me anyway.
I;ve never been asked not to wear any so I was wondering if it was common and I just hadn't come across it yet.
She also didn't mention it initially and things like that are usually discussed up front with the service I use.
To answer the question about makeup, I don't wear it much because I'm a bit lazy in the morning. I prefer to just about roll out of bed.
Sometimes when I go out I'll put a bit on just because it's fun. You know a bit of a dressier look. Same as how I don't typically where heels but I'll stick a pair on now and again for fun.
Yeah, I actually put my make-up on when I get to work. I have CFS and it is a chore to wake up and get to work when I'm actually supposed to be here. So I understand not wanting to fuss with it before you leave the house.
Honestly I think this request is a bit odd. For people who "have allergy prone children" they make the mistake of x'ing out all things that pose a reaction. It is best to have children exposed to certain things because it builds a resistance. Like seasonal allergies, usually to help get over those one should eat honey from the native plants. But try telling a mom that...talk about freak-out mode.
I'm seriously rolling my eyes at the comment that mascara can flake off into the children's food while the nanny preps it. I mean, give me a break. How many chefs and waitresses and food prep workers at schools wear mascara and other make-up?!
If the child has severe allergies then I can understand the no make-up thing. Nail polish I can understand to an extent, at my current job we have a clause in the contract about nail polish and not having crazy colors or lengths (I am no longer a nanny, but I still work with kids).
I wear minimal make-up to work and I always did as a nanny as well. Moisturizer, concealer, bronzer, mascara, that was about it. I would be pretty peeved if an MB requested I not do that. Kinda weird.
@Working Mom: I think you are very weird and I am glad that I am not working for you. Your views are very extreme and do not make much sense to me.
If a woman suggests to her Nanny that the Nanny not make any attempt to look pretty (i.e., make-up, nail polish, jewelry, etc.) then it is pretty obvious to me that she is scared her husband might want to "squash" with the Nanny. How insecure can one get?????
No joke, the mascara flaking off comment was just plain weird. You must buy some pretty cheapo mascara if it is always flaking--or maybe you put on a dozen layers. Same with nail polish--yes that stuff does flake off but what are the odds it is going to get into the kids' food? Some parents are just overly neurotic.
I do agree with Phoenix to a certain extent about exposing kids to potential allergens. However, if it is known that they are allergic or sensitive to something, I think the parents have every right to ask the nanny to abstain from wearing it. I only use baking soda to do my laundry because any other detergent gives me migraines.
Phoenix, what is CFS?
By the way, I think some of you ladies have self-esteem issues if you think you can't look beautiful without a face full of makeup. Just sayin'
Who ever said anything about self-esteem? Just because a woman desires to enhance her appearance w/some make-up does not mean she is lacking in the self-esteem dept. It just means she takes pride in her appearance and strives to be the best she can be.
Estee Lauder once said that if a woman never wore cosmetics, then she was just asking for her husband to cheat on her. I agree. People who do not wear make-up give off the impression that they don't value their own beauty and that they are settling for being average. Like you.
Where I am from, most women wear make up and it's rare to find someone who doesn't. That being said, I think it is totally up to the woman if she wants to wear make up or not, same thing with nail polish. I don't think that a woman wearing make up is a self esteem issue at all! In the same way, I don't think a woman who doesn't wear make up is "plain," she just chooses to be more natural.
What a crappy statement to make about women who don't wear makeup... wow... really? I don't value my own beauty huh? Interesting, since I think I'm attractive enough not to put on a clown face and look like a drag queen every time I go out. I have a naturally clear and even complexion, long eyelashes, sky blue eyes... and randomly put on chapstick to add some gloss to my lips. My husband wouldn't DREAM of cheating on me (so go sh*t in your hat Estee) in fact, he prefers the no make up look for numerous reasons...suchas:
1) I don't spend any time "putting my face on" to go places.
2) when he kisses me, he isn't left with color/stickiness on his mouth
3) I can go out in the rain without looking like Marilyn Manson took a sharpie marker to my eyes
Soooooo don't be hateful to us natural beauties. If you want to slather all that product on your face, and it makes you feel better about yourself... have at it... but some of us were blessed with good genes and don't waste money on crayola for the face.
I'm curious why everyone is so quick to jump down the employers throat about this?! I nanny a one year old full time and my MB stopped wearing make up after she had him because of how much he touches faces then puts his fingers in his mouth. I followed her lead and don't wear face make up to work because again, he loves rubbing my face. I am a make up snob and spend a lot of money for a good product, but have you ever read what is actually in your make up? Even if it's hypoallergenic it is still full of different preservatives and unless it's vegan, most likely animal parts. My foundation is 55$/bottle and it's still something I wouldn't want my baby to have in his mouth. I think the comments about the mom being insecure and worrying about you looking attractive are ridiculious. is she a first time mom? I'm sure she's just trying to make sure her baby doesn't eat anything weird. It's obviously over the top, but if she is a first time mom she's allowed to be a little crazy. Think of it as a plus; You're make up will last much longer!
JChrissy, I think people are questioning the employer because the op stated she didn't give any of those reasons for wanting no makeup allergies, safety etc. even after being asked. Just seems suspicious. Also op said she wasn't wearing any makeup at the interview.
I'll throw my $.o2 into the makeup debate. I'm a makeup wearer. I don't think I'm hideous without it. My esteem is just fine. I don't think my husband will cheat on me if I don't. I take pride in my appearance every day make up or not. When I wear makeup I don't look like a clown. If you look like a clown you're doing it wrong. I wear it becaue I like it it's fun.
I don't think women who don't wear make-up don't value their appearance and that would be no good reason for a husband to cheat on his wife. Like i said I think make-up is a sense of expression. I don't wear much face make-up but I go crazy over eye shadow and eye liner! i love it. And it does enhance my appearance to an extent because as a red head I have very light eye lashes. So if i don't wear mascara my eyes look very big and I don't like it. That's the only reason I can get away with putting black eye liner around my entire eye, my eyes are just big. Someone once told me that is a trait that is beautiful. I don't know about that... it looks like I'm stoned.
Women who wear make-up do need to know how to apply it. I've seen some clowns around my town. Just gross. But it is a very personal choice and I don't think that any employer should be able to request make-up standards. Unless the kid is allergic to it. I wouldn't let a child touch my face either. Sticky child hands, ick. Flaking mascara, give me a break. I have never had mascara do that. Maybe it is your eye lashes breaking off.
CFS- Chronic fatigue syndrome. It runs in my family. The worse part is when you fall asleep while driving. My dad has crashed a few cars in his day. i know when I'm about to fall asleep and I pull over. It is very dangerous. i have to take adderall to stay awake during the day. Otherwise I fall asleep at my desk. It is really crappy. My husband hates it. He will wake me up to get ready for work and then he will come in to the bedroom to check on me and i've fallen asleep on my closet floor. It is hard to deal with at times. And people in my family take it very personal when I'm late for everything. I keep telling them I won't be able to go anywhere before noon on the weekends. They tell me to be there at 11 and get mad that I'm late. WTF. Maybe I should write it down
JChrissy: I have always worn make-up, and have had babies touch my face. Your point of view is interesting, about MB not wearing make-up after having the baby. $55 for foundation? Chanel, Yves St. Laurent or Dior? What do you use for foundation?
Hello...A little concealer under the eyes applied with a foundation brush, a sweep of powder, mascara, blush and pink lipgloss.
WorkingMom: I work in a childcare center and I nanny. Been working around children for the last 14 years wearing mascara and nailpolish. Neither has ever fallen off while I have been preparing food or snacks, for a child of any age. I also do not pull out my mirror and constantly check my face, applying powder around the children. I do this on my break or during downtime.
I can understand not using a particular lotion or fragrance due to allergies, and would stop doing so if asked. Personally, I think you are full of crap about mascara and polish flaking and landing in food. Not even true!!!
Thanks for insulting the nannies that choose to wear a little color on their face to a job. You make all of us sound like we are lazy airheads attached to our mirrors.
I think that the Mother is just insecure..it is pretty obvious. She doesn't want the OP to look better than her because she doesn't want her hubby to be attracted to the nanny. It's as clear as day.
Tons of people wear make-up and nail polish around kids...I haven't heard of a child being affected by it. That is so stupid. We pet our dogs and cats and they don't get exposed to our make-up/nail polish and die.
People need to be relax and stop trying to find excuses. This MomBoss is insecure and it has nothing to do with her nanny's mascara flaking off in the Gerber cereal.
Arbonne Fan...I was going to say that you were not one of those women I was talking about. But then you added that ridiculous Estee Lauder quote. I'm sorry, but if any husband cheats on his wife just because she isn't pretty enough for him, he is a pathetic man and probably never loved her to begin with. And if you think I give off the impression that I don't value my own beauty, that is your own problem and one I frankly don't really care about.
I discussed this thread with my husband last night to get the male perspective. He told me that my lack of makeup on our first date was what attracted him to me because I wasn't trying to be fake. He could see my face, not a mask covering it. This is why I choose not to wear any--other than the fact that I find it incredibly uncomfortable--I want people to see me for who I am. If they think I'm plain, so be it.
I do not wish to be down on women who enjoy wearing makeup for the right reasons, like Phoenix said because she can express herself through the colors. And Susannah said it is fun and she takes pride in her appearance whether or not she is wearing any makeup. But some women do wear it for the wrong reasons--for their husbands or because they don't look good without it. I think that is very sad.
Well sitting back and analyzing... no matter what topic, women will always find ways to criticize one another.
1) Women who wear make-up have low self-esteem because they need to enhance their appearance.
2) Women who don't wear make-up have low self-esteem because they don't have pride in their appearance
3) Women who don't wear make-up will have husbands who cheat
4) Make-up is poison to babies
5) Women who wear make-up are clowns
6) Women who don't wear make-up are lazy and frumpy
7) Women who wear make-up are more attractive
8) New moms are afraid make-up wearing nanny is going to steal husband. Refer to #3
9) Mascara and nail polish flake off on everything! It's like colorful dandruff
10) women who are applying make-up ignore children
My hypothesis : it is obvious make-up is no indication of sanity. It is safe to say that women who choose to be natural or those who indulge in a little color are equally crazy.
Unless it's some sort of health issue, I think this is a very strange and unreasonable request.
If it has anything to do with appearance, they should have absolutely nothing to say on the subject. I feel a nanny should dress in clothes that are clean and not revealing in any way, but beyond that they have NO right to even comment on your appearence. What you look like has nothing to do with how good you are at your job.
There is probably more going on here. The mom may have some issues.
MissMannah, I can't access your profile for some reason to send you messages. Hmmm... I have a few questions about what you do on your spare time and what you are into. We should connect in a different way other than the peanut gallery.
My email is: reedinaz@aol.com
Still wish I could change your mind on the poetry thing. Rebecca read some and loved it
Some of you people are unbelievable. You whine about not being regarded as a "professional", but display catty, high school attitudes about perspectives different than your own.
That's right, I'm a liar about mascara & nailpolish flaking - nobody has ever had little flicks of mascara on their cheeks, and no one's nailpolish ever chips or flakes between weekly applications. Never happens.
And we all know allergies and chemical sensitivities are all in one's head, so the only reason any MB must have for not wanting the nanny to wear make-up, etc. has GOT to be due to insecurity! Because all MB's are old, ugly and used up, and worried about their husbands lusting after the nannies - who we know are all young, fresh, and pretty. Please. What a very rude and immature assumption.
Why does someone need to be considered pretty only when wearing make-up, and ugly when not? Isn't it possible to be attractive with a clean, fresh face? If you feel ugly or insecure because you're not wearing make-up, you have bigger problems than this forum can address. It's a free country; wear all the make-up you want - on your own time.
The OP's question was about standards.
My response was that no make-up, etc. would be the standard at my house, and I gave my reasons why.
My reasons are my reasons, and they are as valid as anyone else's. Whether or not you agree with them is incidential. Would you also consider me extreme for not wanting a smoker as my nanny? Or insisting that my child be fed all organic, pesticide-free food? How about if I decided to home-school my child (and wanted a nanny who could function as tutor/teacher)?
A primary benefit to having a nanny is so that the parent has more control over their child's environment, and can ensure that their particular lifestyle choices or needs are carried out. If you have a problem with that, don't take the job.
I have read many posters on here exclaim about "caring for the parent's most precious thing in the world (the child)", and yet just as many posters snark at many parents' requests. I don't consider that professional behavior. You work in a niche market; such requests and requirements are why you have this job at all.
If it wasn't important for me to hire someone to accomodate my requests, I could just put my child in regular daycare.
I attended a professional nanny school and they did recommend that we were modest amounts of makeup. For health reasons it was recommended that you do not wear fingernail polish or false fingernails, especially with babies because they can harbor germs...I do wear nail polish most of the time though!
Also, especially with infants, some mothers prefer that the nannies should not wear perfume or very light scented because of the fact that their baby might smell like you instead of them. This might seem silly to some people but I can completely understand how a mother would not want another woman's scent on her child.
Yup. Nail polish and mascara little colorful poison snowflakes. Its a wonder we are all still alive! Oh, the humanity!
Well lets see. If mom bosses are afraid their husband my be looking sexually at the nanny it might be because she isn't fullfilling her duties as a woman. Most women don't know this but your kids DO NOT come first. #1 - is yourself. If you don't take care of yourself you are not happy. Hey put on some make-up. LOL #2 Your husband. Make sure he is happy and he feels loved. Make time for eachother. Go out of your way to be nice. #3 Your children. Kids are very receptive and smart. If you don't take care of yourself you are not happy. If you don't take care of your husband he is not happy. If kids have miserable parents, they are unhappy.
Like I said, make-up is a pesonal choice. My husband actually doesn't care either way. He always told me its not important to him. But I wear it anyway cuz I like it. If my boss told me not to wear make-up, I'd slather it on to make sure i looked like a clown. Employers of nannies don't have a right to ask the nanny not to wear make-up unless she presents a very good reason. The OP stated her MB did not.
workingMom said...
I think that parents who shelter their children from everything including soaps, make-up, detergants, food etc etc are really doing a dis-service. What happens if your kid goes over to a friends house? They may die!
OP - you should call her and ask why she wouldn't want you to wear make-up. I'm very curious and it may put an end to this maddness
WorkingMom, I see your point that having a nanny allows you to better control the environment that your child is in. BUT, parents must realize that they aren't going to have many choices as far as nannies go if they are looking for a nonsmoking, non makeup wearing, vegan, no perfume using, totally in shape woman in her prime. You aren't going to find anyone to fit that profile! I also think it is weird and not good to shelter your child from everything that is outside the realm of your home. I'm not saying the nanny should waltz in and be a complete 180 from your views but a little variation never hurt anyone.
It is not ridiculous to think a mom might get jealous of the nanny even if the nanny is disgusted by dad. I don't wear makeup as a rule and have always been told by family, friends and boyfriends that I don't need it but I still have guys falling at my feet sometimes to the mom's annoyance. Sorry but if they want something better making the nanny look unpretty isn't going to help. A good nail polish will not chip off and if that's what mb is worried about tell her that you take good care of your nails. I don't like nail polish on my fingers because good or not with all the typing I do its going to chip anyway. I also can't do big/long nails for the same reason.
Leslie, I believe in England it is required for nannies to be certified through a professional nanny school. If I could find a cheap enough certification program here, I'd have no problem going to it. Always a good idea to beef up your resume.
I agree with what Truth Seeker says. Female bosses like these are usually uncomfortable (even jealous) when their househelpers look better than them. In my experience, my kid had a nanny once who wore make up everytime I left the house. When I caught her one day all fancied up, she was uncomfortable that I saw her wearing make up. When I asked her why, it was because I wasn't wearing any when I was at home, so she didn't want to come on too strong by looking fancy beside a plain Jane female boss like me.
Was I affected by what she said? Not at all! I knew my worth and my husband's faithfulness. I only wear make up when I go out to the office or the mall, so I was never bothered at all. So what if the nanny wants to look good as well? If wearing make up made her feel good and not used to tempt the male boss, why should I deny her that?
So it's really a weird request for bosses to ask that, unless they were probably allergic to make up.
this actually has nothing to do with moms being jealous of the nanny or the housekeeper. Nope it's simpler than that.
Its women being jealous of women. Period. If the same two met on the street. Each not knowing the other, it would still occur. I don't know why women are so pathetic? Like no self-esteem. Then what really is funny, is when a woman actually appreaciates the way she looks and thinks of herself as one sexy lady and is happy in her own skin (me) its called wrong, rude, dumg. So then it shows that women are even jealous of women who are confident.
$9000 for only 3 months of classes?!? NO THANK YOU!! Good lord, I need to open my own nanny school, what a racket! And does sticking "English" in the name of the school somehow make it seem more prestigious?
56 comments:
I've never come across that in a job...my bosses have all worn makeup to work and many of them painted their nails so I can't imagine they'd have a problem with it. Was there a reason behind the request?
The only reason I can think for this crazy request is if the MomBoss thinks you are pretty and doesn't want her husband to like you. She must be insecure.
I wear light make-up to work and I ALWAYS paint my finger/toenails in black polish. I thought this color might be inappropriate for being a Nanny, but a lot of my charges tell me they like the color.
No it is not standard. I would ask for a reason.
I don't think that is standard at all! I think it is kind of a weird request. As someone who never leaves the house without makeup and always has my nails painted, I would not take that job. I would certainly ask for a reason as to why MB doesn't want you to wear those things.
people have come on here saying their nanny dresses too provocatively, to which a lot of people on here comment to just ask the nanny to wear more 'child-friendly' clothes, like jeans and a tshirt. i have never heard, however, of telling a nanny not to wear makeup or to paint her nails. that's very odd to me. what exactly did your employer say to you?
Could they be scared of the chemical in the products being exposed to the child? Make up can have a lot of harsh chemicals, maybe the kids are sensitive? I would kindly ask why and if the answer is because of a provocative appearance I'd prob find a different job because they will just find other reasons to be upset with your appearance.
I agree with Bostonnanny. If it is a medical reason, I could understand. But anything other than a documented medical reason would be grounds for turning the job down in my opinion.
Is there any makeup on the market nowadays that isn't hypoallergenic? I would certainly want an explanation of the reason she requires this before I'd considere this job!
I'm gonna go ahead and disagree that this is "weird". Many companies have policies about appearance. The entire food service industry prohibits nail polish. Walt Disney requires "the Disney look" which rules out eyewear that is "flashy". I would simply ask why, to better understand where the parents are coming from. Or as someone said, maybe the MB finds you too attractive and is worried about her husband (though that's a dynamic that would make me run). Either way, I don't find the request in itself to be too off putting, but you should decide if it's okay with you or not. It's certainly not "standard".
I thought about allergies, but severe allergies weren't mentioned in the initial ad. I asked about it and didn't get much of an answer. If it's severe allergies I'd want to know.
I don't wear makeup anyway. I'm just that lazy. I don't wear more than chapstick for interviews.
I guess that answers my question if it's a typical request or not.
just speculation, but Ill bet op is attractive and MB is threatened by her.
Not weird to me. While not frequently, I've had families request that I not wear makeup or nail polish to work. (I rarely wear them in life, so it wasn't a big deal to me.) Their reasoning was the chemicals in these products. My hands prepare their children's food, in addition to carry kids and basic interaction. Little kids are by adult faces a lot. The mom didn't wear makeup around the kids either (and rarely wore nail polish, which she removed at the slightest chip) so it was a house rule, versus a nanny rule.
For what it's worth, a study was released earlier this week (by the FDA) that revealed over 400 lipsticks that contain lead. Yes, the risk to my charges is so slight and it might be overprotective parenting, but it didn't bother me.
I have never heard of a family requesting this. But I never wear makeup and very rarely wear nail polish, so maybe that's the reason why I've never come across it.
On another note...why do nannies feel they need to wear makeup anyway? Who are you guys dressing up for? I doubt your charges care. I really don't mean for this to sound rude, I'm genuinely curious. I've never understood why women wear makeup--I hate it. Last time I wore it was on my wedding day over a year ago, and even that was a very minimal amount.
To answer your question Miss Mannah, us women wear make-up to look prettier. A woman who doesn't wear any make-up looks plain...like she doesn't care about her appearance to make an effort. In some professions, it is required to wear make-up as it conveys a professional appearance.
There are some woman who look absolutely gorgeous w/out make-up, but most women benefit from highlighting their features a bit. I wear a little foundation to even out my skin tone, some lipstick to add color to my face and maybe some mascara to open up my eyes. I like a natural look and do not like the make up doll look that some women like. These women would look weird as nannies to me. I.e., showgirls, etc...
I have never heard of a request like this, however, I have heard of employers requesting the nanny not wear perfume or scented body lotions due to allgeries. My cousin and I went shopping yesterday, and she is allergic to most perfumes sprayed in the air; I used to have issues in the laundry aisle at the grocery store when detergent companies used cardboard boxes instead of bottle for laundry soap.
An interesting point that Mannah made: why are we, as nannies and early childhood educators who work with children wearing make-up when the children love us for who we are au naturalle?
An interesting point Mary Kay Fan made: we wear make-up to look enhance our highlights and to avoid looking plain.
I am an early childhood educator working two jobs, both in a center and as a nanny. Why do I wear make-up?
-to add color to my face
-to highlight my features
-to look lively
I use a brush to apply foundation and concealer, which provides a more even, polished look compared to a sponge or fingers. TruBlend from Cover Girl rocks! For my eyelids, I use Clinique Touch Base for eyes, which technically is used to highlight a neutral shadow. My mascara is Clinique Hich Impact(I think)and my blush is Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush in Dollface, a very subtle pink. Lipgloss is either clear or pink.
I am not high matienence, I just like color, which is another reason why I wear make-up. I don't wear it everyday. If I did, then I guess I would be high mateinence.
MissMannah, to answer your question, I just feel blah when I don't have makeup on. I am a redhead so my eye lashes are basically invisible and I HATE that! So I always wear mascara.
"A woman who doesn't wear any make-up looks plain...like she doesn't care about her appearance to make an effort"
OUCH! I sure am glad my husband doesn't agree with you on that one!
Though you are right to a certain extent: I don't care too much about my appearance while working to make much of an effort. Yes, I'm lazy, which is why I'm a jeans-tshirt-ponytail type of nanny. Fortunately my MB wears exactly that everyday too.
I think as women, we should make an effort to look as beautiful as we can. And wearing cosmetics does just that.
I wear make-up so I don't look so dowdy. Not a clown face, but enough to highlight my features and show some color.
I once heard that older women wear make-up to look younger and younger women wear it to look older. Makes sense to me. LOL.
Why would she ask that? Does she have daughters? Does she want people to look uglier than she does?
I have never heard of any of the MB my friend nanny's for ask her to not wear make-up. Some parents might think it will entice their daughters but that's all.
I love make-up. Since I can't wear some of my outragious clothes that I like to work I express myself through eye shadow! Can you say glitter and bright flashy colors!!!! I'm more artist than anything else. I think it should be ok to express yourself. But I think you should be allowed to wear make-up just keep it natural.
Nail polish and mascaras can flake; as a parent, I would not want a caregiver taking care of my infant or preparing food for my children while wearing either.
My family is also very allergy-prone and sensitive to smells and chemicals. I might request that a nanny discontinue using a certain laundry detergent, body soap, shampoo, or hairstyling product if it bothered one or all of us. Incidentially, I wouldn't hire a nanny with long fingernails for my infant, either.
During your off hours you can dress and fix yourself however you want. While on the job, it's my opinion that a nanny's appearance should be clean & basic, and that's it. It's not a fashion show.
My opinion has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity - it's about practicality and safety. The nanny's focus should be on the care of the child/children, not on touching up her makeup which has rubbed or sweated off during playtime.
The child would be 6 months old at the time of the job so I don't think it would be enticing her to try makeup. I understand allergies and safety issues but non of that was given as a reason.
I wasn't wearing makeup on the interview. I don't wear makeup on the job anyway. I keep my nails short because of the job and long nails and polish bug me anyway.
I;ve never been asked not to wear any so I was wondering if it was common and I just hadn't come across it yet.
She also didn't mention it initially and things like that are usually discussed up front with the service I use.
It's no matter to me now as I haven't heard back.
To answer the question about makeup, I don't wear it much because I'm a bit lazy in the morning. I prefer to just about roll out of bed.
Sometimes when I go out I'll put a bit on just because it's fun. You know a bit of a dressier look. Same as how I don't typically where heels but I'll stick a pair on now and again for fun.
Yeah, I actually put my make-up on when I get to work. I have CFS and it is a chore to wake up and get to work when I'm actually supposed to be here. So I understand not wanting to fuss with it before you leave the house.
Honestly I think this request is a bit odd. For people who "have allergy prone children" they make the mistake of x'ing out all things that pose a reaction. It is best to have children exposed to certain things because it builds a resistance. Like seasonal allergies, usually to help get over those one should eat honey from the native plants. But try telling a mom that...talk about freak-out mode.
It isn't standard for that to be requested.
I'm seriously rolling my eyes at the comment that mascara can flake off into the children's food while the nanny preps it. I mean, give me a break. How many chefs and waitresses and food prep workers at schools wear mascara and other make-up?!
If the child has severe allergies then I can understand the no make-up thing. Nail polish I can understand to an extent, at my current job we have a clause in the contract about nail polish and not having crazy colors or lengths (I am no longer a nanny, but I still work with kids).
I wear minimal make-up to work and I always did as a nanny as well. Moisturizer, concealer, bronzer, mascara, that was about it. I would be pretty peeved if an MB requested I not do that. Kinda weird.
@Working Mom:
I think you are very weird and I am glad that I am not working for you. Your views are very extreme and do not make much sense to me.
If a woman suggests to her Nanny that the Nanny not make any attempt to look pretty (i.e., make-up, nail polish, jewelry, etc.) then it is pretty obvious to me that she is scared her husband might want to "squash" with the Nanny. How insecure can one get?????
No joke, the mascara flaking off comment was just plain weird. You must buy some pretty cheapo mascara if it is always flaking--or maybe you put on a dozen layers. Same with nail polish--yes that stuff does flake off but what are the odds it is going to get into the kids' food? Some parents are just overly neurotic.
I do agree with Phoenix to a certain extent about exposing kids to potential allergens. However, if it is known that they are allergic or sensitive to something, I think the parents have every right to ask the nanny to abstain from wearing it. I only use baking soda to do my laundry because any other detergent gives me migraines.
Phoenix, what is CFS?
By the way, I think some of you ladies have self-esteem issues if you think you can't look beautiful without a face full of makeup. Just sayin'
Miss Mannah:
Who ever said anything about self-esteem? Just because a woman desires to enhance her appearance w/some make-up does not mean she is lacking in the self-esteem dept. It just means she takes pride in her appearance and strives to be the best she can be.
Estee Lauder once said that if a woman never wore cosmetics, then she was just asking for her husband to cheat on her. I agree. People who do not wear make-up give off the impression that they don't value their own beauty and that they are settling for being average. Like you.
Just sayin'........
Where I am from, most women wear make up and it's rare to find someone who doesn't. That being said, I think it is totally up to the woman if she wants to wear make up or not, same thing with nail polish. I don't think that a woman wearing make up is a self esteem issue at all! In the same way, I don't think a woman who doesn't wear make up is "plain," she just chooses to be more natural.
Hey Arbonne fan..
What a crappy statement to make about women who don't wear makeup... wow... really? I don't value my own beauty huh? Interesting, since I think I'm attractive enough not to put on a clown face and look like a drag queen every time I go out. I have a naturally clear and even complexion, long eyelashes, sky blue eyes... and randomly put on chapstick to add some gloss to my lips. My husband wouldn't DREAM of cheating on me (so go sh*t in your hat Estee) in fact, he prefers the no make up look for numerous reasons...suchas:
1) I don't spend any time "putting my face on" to go places.
2) when he kisses me, he isn't left with color/stickiness on his mouth
3) I can go out in the rain without looking like Marilyn Manson took a sharpie marker to my eyes
Soooooo don't be hateful to us natural beauties. If you want to slather all that product on your face, and it makes you feel better about yourself... have at it... but some of us were blessed with good genes and don't waste money on crayola for the face.
I'm curious why everyone is so quick to jump down the employers throat about this?! I nanny a one year old full time and my MB stopped wearing make up after she had him because of how much he touches faces then puts his fingers in his mouth. I followed her lead and don't wear face make up to work because again, he loves rubbing my face. I am a make up snob and spend a lot of money for a good product, but have you ever read what is actually in your make up? Even if it's hypoallergenic it is still full of different preservatives and unless it's vegan, most likely animal parts. My foundation is 55$/bottle and it's still something I wouldn't want my baby to have in his mouth. I think the comments about the mom being insecure and worrying about you looking attractive are ridiculious. is she a first time mom? I'm sure she's just trying to make sure her baby doesn't eat anything weird. It's obviously over the top, but if she is a first time mom she's allowed to be a little crazy. Think of it as a plus; You're make up will last much longer!
JChrissy, I think people are questioning the employer because the op stated she didn't give any of those reasons for wanting no makeup allergies, safety etc. even after being asked. Just seems suspicious. Also op said she wasn't wearing any makeup at the interview.
I'll throw my $.o2 into the makeup debate. I'm a makeup wearer. I don't think I'm hideous without it. My esteem is just fine. I don't think my husband will cheat on me if I don't.
I take pride in my appearance every day make up or not. When I wear makeup I don't look like a clown. If you look like a clown you're doing it wrong.
I wear it becaue I like it it's fun.
I don't think women who don't wear make-up don't value their appearance and that would be no good reason for a husband to cheat on his wife. Like i said I think make-up is a sense of expression. I don't wear much face make-up but I go crazy over eye shadow and eye liner! i love it. And it does enhance my appearance to an extent because as a red head I have very light eye lashes. So if i don't wear mascara my eyes look very big and I don't like it. That's the only reason I can get away with putting black eye liner around my entire eye, my eyes are just big. Someone once told me that is a trait that is beautiful. I don't know about that... it looks like I'm stoned.
Women who wear make-up do need to know how to apply it. I've seen some clowns around my town. Just gross. But it is a very personal choice and I don't think that any employer should be able to request make-up standards. Unless the kid is allergic to it. I wouldn't let a child touch my face either. Sticky child hands, ick. Flaking mascara, give me a break. I have never had mascara do that. Maybe it is your eye lashes breaking off.
CFS- Chronic fatigue syndrome. It runs in my family. The worse part is when you fall asleep while driving. My dad has crashed a few cars in his day. i know when I'm about to fall asleep and I pull over. It is very dangerous. i have to take adderall to stay awake during the day. Otherwise I fall asleep at my desk. It is really crappy. My husband hates it. He will wake me up to get ready for work and then he will come in to the bedroom to check on me and i've fallen asleep on my closet floor. It is hard to deal with at times. And people in my family take it very personal when I'm late for everything. I keep telling them I won't be able to go anywhere before noon on the weekends. They tell me to be there at 11 and get mad that I'm late. WTF. Maybe I should write it down
JChrissy: I have always worn make-up, and have had babies touch my face. Your point of view is interesting, about MB not wearing make-up after having the baby. $55 for foundation? Chanel, Yves St. Laurent or Dior? What do you use for foundation?
Hello...A little concealer under the eyes applied with a foundation brush, a sweep of powder, mascara, blush and pink lipgloss.
WorkingMom: I work in a childcare center and I nanny. Been working around children for the last 14 years wearing mascara and nailpolish. Neither has ever fallen off while I have been preparing food or snacks, for a child of any age. I also do not pull out my mirror and constantly check my face, applying powder around the children. I do this on my break or during downtime.
I can understand not using a particular lotion or fragrance due to allergies, and would stop doing so if asked. Personally, I think you are full of crap about mascara and polish flaking and landing in food. Not even true!!!
Thanks for insulting the nannies that choose to wear a little color on their face to a job. You make all of us sound like we are lazy airheads attached to our mirrors.
Mascara flaking off? That is so weird to me.
I think that the Mother is just insecure..it is pretty obvious. She doesn't want the OP to look better than her because she doesn't want her hubby to be attracted to the nanny. It's as clear as day.
Tons of people wear make-up and nail polish around kids...I haven't heard of a child being affected by it. That is so stupid. We pet our dogs and cats and they don't get exposed to our make-up/nail polish and die.
People need to be relax and stop trying to find excuses. This MomBoss is insecure and it has nothing to do with her nanny's mascara flaking off in the Gerber cereal.
Arbonne Fan...I was going to say that you were not one of those women I was talking about. But then you added that ridiculous Estee Lauder quote. I'm sorry, but if any husband cheats on his wife just because she isn't pretty enough for him, he is a pathetic man and probably never loved her to begin with. And if you think I give off the impression that I don't value my own beauty, that is your own problem and one I frankly don't really care about.
I discussed this thread with my husband last night to get the male perspective. He told me that my lack of makeup on our first date was what attracted him to me because I wasn't trying to be fake. He could see my face, not a mask covering it. This is why I choose not to wear any--other than the fact that I find it incredibly uncomfortable--I want people to see me for who I am. If they think I'm plain, so be it.
I do not wish to be down on women who enjoy wearing makeup for the right reasons, like Phoenix said because she can express herself through the colors. And Susannah said it is fun and she takes pride in her appearance whether or not she is wearing any makeup. But some women do wear it for the wrong reasons--for their husbands or because they don't look good without it. I think that is very sad.
Well sitting back and analyzing... no matter what topic, women will always find ways to criticize one another.
1) Women who wear make-up have low self-esteem because they need to enhance their appearance.
2) Women who don't wear make-up have low self-esteem because they don't have pride in their appearance
3) Women who don't wear make-up will have husbands who cheat
4) Make-up is poison to babies
5) Women who wear make-up are clowns
6) Women who don't wear make-up are lazy and frumpy
7) Women who wear make-up are more attractive
8) New moms are afraid make-up wearing nanny is going to steal husband. Refer to #3
9) Mascara and nail polish flake off on everything! It's like colorful dandruff
10) women who are applying make-up ignore children
My hypothesis : it is obvious make-up is no indication of sanity. It is safe to say that women who choose to be natural or those who indulge in a little color are equally crazy.
#11
Whatever estee-lauder says, IS TRUE
LMFAO. Fun times
Unless it's some sort of health issue, I think this is a very strange and unreasonable request.
If it has anything to do with appearance, they should have absolutely nothing to say on the subject. I feel a nanny should dress in clothes that are clean and not revealing in any way, but beyond that they have NO right to even comment on your appearence. What you look like has nothing to do with how good you are at your job.
There is probably more going on here. The mom may have some issues.
Lol Phoenix, I love you--you always crack me up. And I'm sorry for opening up this whole can of worms.
MissMannah - its all good, no need to apologize. What fun would it be if we all got along.
;)
MissMannah, I can't access your profile for some reason to send you messages. Hmmm... I have a few questions about what you do on your spare time and what you are into. We should connect in a different way other than the peanut gallery.
My email is: reedinaz@aol.com
Still wish I could change your mind on the poetry thing. Rebecca read some and loved it
Some of you people are unbelievable. You whine about not being regarded as a "professional", but display catty, high school attitudes about perspectives different than your own.
That's right, I'm a liar about mascara & nailpolish flaking - nobody has ever had little flicks of mascara on their cheeks, and no one's nailpolish ever chips or flakes between weekly applications. Never happens.
And we all know allergies and chemical sensitivities are all in one's head, so the only reason any MB must have for not wanting the nanny to wear make-up, etc. has GOT to be due to insecurity! Because all MB's are old, ugly and used up, and worried about their husbands lusting after the nannies - who we know are all young, fresh, and pretty. Please. What a very rude and immature assumption.
Why does someone need to be considered pretty only when wearing make-up, and ugly when not? Isn't it possible to be attractive with a clean, fresh face? If you feel ugly or insecure because you're not wearing make-up, you have bigger problems than this forum can address. It's a free country; wear all the make-up you want - on your own time.
The OP's question was about standards.
My response was that no make-up, etc. would be the standard at my house, and I gave my reasons why.
My reasons are my reasons, and they are as valid as anyone else's. Whether or not you agree with them is incidential. Would you also consider me extreme for not wanting a smoker as my nanny? Or insisting that my child be fed all organic, pesticide-free food? How about if I decided to home-school my child (and wanted a nanny who could function as tutor/teacher)?
A primary benefit to having a nanny is so that the parent has more control over their child's environment, and can ensure that their particular lifestyle choices or needs are carried out. If you have a problem with that, don't take the job.
I have read many posters on here exclaim about "caring for the parent's most precious thing in the world (the child)", and yet just as many posters snark at many parents' requests. I don't consider that professional behavior. You work in a niche market; such requests and requirements are why you have this job at all.
If it wasn't important for me to hire someone to accomodate my requests, I could just put my child in regular daycare.
I attended a professional nanny school and they did recommend that we were modest amounts of makeup. For health reasons it was recommended that you do not wear fingernail polish or false fingernails, especially with babies because they can harbor germs...I do wear nail polish most of the time though!
Also, especially with infants, some mothers prefer that the nannies should not wear perfume or very light scented because of the fact that their baby might smell like you instead of them. This might seem silly to some people but I can completely understand how a mother would not want another woman's scent on her child.
This has been a good read! Lol!
Lots of interesting input.
Don't know if I mentioned it but I didn't get the job.
Never heard back.
Yup. Nail polish and mascara little colorful poison snowflakes. Its a wonder we are all still alive! Oh, the humanity!
Well lets see. If mom bosses are afraid their husband my be looking sexually at the nanny it might be because she isn't fullfilling her duties as a woman. Most women don't know this but your kids DO NOT come first. #1 - is yourself. If you don't take care of yourself you are not happy. Hey put on some make-up. LOL #2 Your husband. Make sure he is happy and he feels loved. Make time for eachother. Go out of your way to be nice. #3 Your children. Kids are very receptive and smart. If you don't take care of yourself you are not happy. If you don't take care of your husband he is not happy. If kids have miserable parents, they are unhappy.
Like I said, make-up is a pesonal choice. My husband actually doesn't care either way. He always told me its not important to him. But I wear it anyway cuz I like it. If my boss told me not to wear make-up, I'd slather it on to make sure i looked like a clown. Employers of nannies don't have a right to ask the nanny not to wear make-up unless she presents a very good reason. The OP stated her MB did not.
workingMom said...
I think that parents who shelter their children from everything including soaps, make-up, detergants, food etc etc are really doing a dis-service. What happens if your kid goes over to a friends house? They may die!
OP - you should call her and ask why she wouldn't want you to wear make-up. I'm very curious and it may put an end to this maddness
WorkingMom, I see your point that having a nanny allows you to better control the environment that your child is in. BUT, parents must realize that they aren't going to have many choices as far as nannies go if they are looking for a nonsmoking, non makeup wearing, vegan, no perfume using, totally in shape woman in her prime. You aren't going to find anyone to fit that profile! I also think it is weird and not good to shelter your child from everything that is outside the realm of your home. I'm not saying the nanny should waltz in and be a complete 180 from your views but a little variation never hurt anyone.
It is not ridiculous to think a mom might get jealous of the nanny even if the nanny is disgusted by dad. I don't wear makeup as a rule and have always been told by family, friends and boyfriends that I don't need it but I still have guys falling at my feet sometimes to the mom's annoyance. Sorry but if they want something better making the nanny look unpretty isn't going to help. A good nail polish will not chip off and if that's what mb is worried about tell her that you take good care of your nails. I don't like nail polish on my fingers because good or not with all the typing I do its going to chip anyway. I also can't do big/long nails for the same reason.
A professional Nanny school? How crazy is that??
Leslie, I believe in England it is required for nannies to be certified through a professional nanny school. If I could find a cheap enough certification program here, I'd have no problem going to it. Always a good idea to beef up your resume.
I agree with what Truth Seeker says. Female bosses like these are usually uncomfortable (even jealous) when their househelpers look better than them. In my experience, my kid had a nanny once who wore make up everytime I left the house. When I caught her one day all fancied up, she was uncomfortable that I saw her wearing make up. When I asked her why, it was because I wasn't wearing any when I was at home, so she didn't want to come on too strong by looking fancy beside a plain Jane female boss like me.
Was I affected by what she said? Not at all! I knew my worth and my husband's faithfulness. I only wear make up when I go out to the office or the mall, so I was never bothered at all. So what if the nanny wants to look good as well? If wearing make up made her feel good and not used to tempt the male boss, why should I deny her that?
So it's really a weird request for bosses to ask that, unless they were probably allergic to make up.
this actually has nothing to do with moms being jealous of the nanny or the housekeeper. Nope it's simpler than that.
Its women being jealous of women. Period. If the same two met on the street. Each not knowing the other, it would still occur. I don't know why women are so pathetic? Like no self-esteem. Then what really is funny, is when a woman actually appreaciates the way she looks and thinks of herself as one sexy lady and is happy in her own skin (me) its called wrong, rude, dumg. So then it shows that women are even jealous of women who are confident.
The cycle of insanity never ends!
I agree Phoenix. It's funny..men do not have the same jealousy and insecurity issues that women have.
Women are the most insecure creatures ever....
Very true being a woman around other women can be very exhausting.
I alwas enjoy it when I meet another lady who is sane.
@Leslie
@MissMannah
www.nanny-governess.com
As an employer, I can control how an employee dresses if I want. Nothing more to say.
$9000 for only 3 months of classes?!? NO THANK YOU!! Good lord, I need to open my own nanny school, what a racket! And does sticking "English" in the name of the school somehow make it seem more prestigious?
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