I am wondering how all of you nannies handle this situation, or just what you think of it. You know that moment, where you are literally about to FLIP OUT. It's one of those days where the kids are going nuts, will not listen to you, you've tried everything.. maybe you're grocery shopping or doing errands and they're being extremely rambunctious, and you're THAT mom/nanny at the store who has no control. Or, its 5pm and you're cooking dinner and the kids are fighting, screaming, running around crazy and it's taking all you have to not just scream at them? I am a great nanny, have been for 5+ years, and I love my job. But, I think we all have those moments where we want to just have a meltdown. It's just different when you are the nanny. It is your job to be there, to take care of them, to handle situations with care and with ease. Yet, aren't we all allowed to feel completely fed up once in a while? I know for me, it helps when a parent I work for confesses that they had a total "melt down" or "freak out" over the weekend. It makes me feel like, okay then, it's not just me. I don't know what it is exactly I am asking- I guess I just want to know that I am not alone!
23 comments:
You are not alone, or we are alone together. In my 3 1/2 years with one little boy there were a few times that we had a "nanny time out." If I really couldn't handle what was going on but the child wasn't necessarily being "bad" then we had a nanny time out. He was put somewhere safe, usually in front of the TV with a half hour educational movie that occupied him, and I could just sit and regroup. He got to do something he wanted, I was calm again, and we went back to having fun.
Although I've been so blessed to have kids that were never particularly rambunctious or crazy (wow, not blessed, lucky!), I still totally understand what you mean. I've often gone through periods where I'm feeling "nanny burnout." Everyone has those days, even moms. Rest assured, you are not alone!
Nope, you are not alone - I have taken time outs before, and I have done a lot of counting to 10 (or 20!) with my eyes closed while breathing deeply.
Nannies may have extraordinary patience, but we're still human.
everyone has these moments. Not just nannies or parents and it doesn't even have to include children. I'm a naturally hot-headed person and I have melt-downs about things all the time. My husband has them when hes driving. It's just normal. I flip out on strangers a lot when they are being rude and stupid and ugly. It's natural. Kids know how to push buttons very well. I've seen my mom flip out on my sister a few times. Just human emotions, nothing out of the ordinary.
You are not alone, I felt that I could have written this post, as I am at the point of burn-out or melt down myself.
I work for a single parent whom is not helpful once so ever, and puts all the pressure on me for EVERYTHING.
Kids pee the bed over the weekend, its fine. Leave it. The nanny will clean it on MONDAY!
Nobody has clean laundry, all well, just re wear items until Nanny comes along.
No food in fridge, its cool, we shall drive through until she re fills the fridge.
Dishes? No need to wash them, she will eventually do it!
School registration? its fine, our nanny will have the paper and files ready.
Say thanks? nah! Its just expected that our nanny does everything for everyone!
and the list continues....
I find that there are points in this profession where you have to decide is it really worth it?
- Nanny of One
I have nanny time-outs, it keeps me sane!!! Most other jobs get lunch breaks and a chance to re-group and organise themselves.
You are NOT alone my loves!!! Honestly, everyone needs some breathing room! Mines usually a big ole huffing sigh from when I close the passenger doors to the car after helping the kids buckle in their carseats (this is a stressful situation for us everyday!) to when I get in the drivers seat.
And this is why I'm a huge supporter or rest time or quiet time or whatever you'd like to call it. Because we need quiet time too to regroup, rest our brains, and if your like me: probably pee and eat something too :0)
You, my dear, are human. As are all of us! We all have meltdowns at some point or another, just like the little darlings we watch. I'm about ready to have one today and I swear if Baby C doesn't stop it with the 10-minute naps and the screaming for 3 hours in between I might just lose my mind! This is the first time I've been able to sit down since 8 this morning. (It is 1:40pm)
Oh wait, you weren't asking for my rant. Sorry, it's been a long day already.
OP here.
Thanks for all the comments and agreements. I truly do love being a nanny, but I just needed to know that even those "perfect" nannies can admit that they have those moments where they want to just scream their heads off!
As much as we try to be patient and teach children from right and wrong, and try to answer every "why?" and "why not?", sometimes it just takes a toll!
Ive raised... 8 kids. I don't know it all. I have had to just put the baby in the crib and walk away. Everyone knows how inept you feel when you can't meet the needs of a wailing infant. However, I am a little OCD and keep things very quiet and structured in our house. I'm talking about things within out control not a child's temperament.
In general I feel that because of how I sail my ship, the way I speak, the tone of voice I use, and the consistency with following though with consequences that those instances are finally rare.
Being bratty irks me soooo much. I won't have it. But sometimes it's not in your control, you are rushed, tired, over worked, annoyed and boom! It happens to the best of us.
This morning the kid I watch played her mom like a fiddle. I wanted to smack mom with my hand for teaching the kid bad habits. Mom needed a time out for shitty parenting.
Can I just ad that how I relax myself and stay calm is ie no eating in car, no obnoxious kid music in the car instead classical, I organize everything so I don't have to run and look for gloves socks and shoes bc I have the kids take on responsibilities. The children complete their basic activities of daily living themselves. Brush their own teeth, put own pre-selected clothes on and they also carry their own lunch boxes and bags. I also don't allow them to take out more than 2 toy boxes at a time. Dolls? You can have the doll box. Cars? You can have the car box. Books? Nope let's clean up the dolls first and take them out again later. I just like control and they function so well when it is that way.
I don't know what I would do without quiet time!
I completely agree between my parents constantly being later than they say, being cooped up in a home all day with twins, and just working more than usual, I'm at a state of burn out and frustration too. We are human, we might be nannies but we are not supernanny (and I'm sure she gets to that point too)! Just try to breath and look for the joy (and the weekends!)
Oh, you are definitely not alone! There are times I lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes, just so I can regroup. :)
Oh, and quiet time is my saving grace, too. The 4 y/o convinced his mom he doesn't need rest time anymore. His argument is not doing too well with me...I've tried to explain to him that I need rest time too (so I can, you know, sit for a few minutes undisturbed, eat lunch...)
my nanny friend made me laugh so hard when she said (after i said i was having a BAD day with my kids) 'oh totally, I've definitely thought 'can't kill it cause its not mine, can't kill it cause it's not mine'
it was the first time anyone had said it's normal to feel like youre going nuts, and its okay, as long as you stay cool.
well OP. The only thing is that no one is perfect. Nobody. It is in fact ignorant if anyone were to think they were the "perfect" nanny. Everyone can learn, and grow, and advance. You nor anyone else will ever be perfect and you nor anyone else will ever be. You will be great and wonderful and caring. I would hope that no nanny would ever think they were perfect. if they did, then they are really a disservice. So yes, as humans we have meltdowns. Some more than others. I think that as long as you love what you do then any melt down you have it ok. In my opinion a meltdown means you care. If you didn't have your energy invested in what you do then you wouldn't care about what was going on.
Leave, but don't feel obligated to stay and train the other sitter, if you want, go ahead and warn her. I would wait to get paid, deposit and let it clear before leaving officially
I think I may be one of the worst offenders of this. I've never hit a child, but there are those days when nothing would calm me down more than giving a kid one good spank. I usually leave the room for about 5 minutes and take some deep breaths and remind myself that he's still learning, it's not entirely his fault, and I'll be at home in a few hours.
How do you register an id? Anyway, I've felt this way many times as a pre-k teacher, nanny, and just a person in general. Counting to 10, deep breaths, and 5 minutes in the bathroom are my friend.
Whomever it was said the leave their kids in pee over the weekend that is not just being a lazy parent that is flat out neglect.
@Bree
It was I regarding the kids pee the bed over the weekend. And I do agree with you that it is neglect if the child would have to stay in that bed.
The family as two houses, so the kid peed on Thursday evening, and then the family returned to their home on Monday morning, just right after I got there!
Its gross!
Well thank God the child wasn't sleeping in that bed! Still very very gross!
Haha perfect time to read this post. 15 MO baby M has decided he needs to be held and rocked to sleep. 28lb 15 month old. As soon as I sit with him in my arms he starts shrieking. And after a 30 minute battle he decided to wake up from a 5 minute nap.
You are definitely not alone. Like you said, when your employers confess their weekend freak outs, it helps a ton. Monday morning MB and DB said they wanted to borrow my dog kennel for the baby (in total jest of course!) which makes me remember how lucky I am to have employers who understand that just because they leave, their child does not turn into an angel and give me the credit I deserve for being patient 99% of the day.
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