Nanny Wants to go the Extra Mile

opinion 1
I am a well-educated nanny who recently starting working for a wonderful family (week before Halloween). I have a wonderful relationship with the parents and kids. It is a dream job and I couldn’t be happier.

A few days into the start of the job, I was introduced to the MB’s best friend (also the across street neighbor), N. Now, one time in the last few weeks, N came over and started telling me a lot of MB. Nothing bad, but obviously things that MB had told her in confidence. I knew she wasn’t suppose to tell me. About my charges, MB’s job, and so forth. N then confronted MB and told her what she had done. She told her everything that she had told me - all but one thing. MB was not happy and couldn’t speak to this friend for several days.

Now I know of a few medical issues that my 2 year old charge has - but not the diagnosis. N told me that my two year old charge may have the same thing his mom has. MB is very sensitive about her condition - if she has one. N told me this.

My question is - should I ask her about it? If my charge does have this condition I would be able to do research. I would be able to help him with skills, learning, and communication in more effective ways. Or should I just leave it and let MB come to me? Should I tell MB what else N had told me about my 2 year old charge? I know I should just leave it alone but I want to help this child more effectively. But I also don’t want to add fuel to the fire. Thank you.


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StrawberryShortKakes said...

I agree with Jedd but I also have another suggestion. I am not sure which condition you are referring to but if you have an idea and think you may know the signs (or can research it online) of this condition, look for them when you are around your charge. If you do see the signs for this condition, you may want to casually mention it to MB in a way so that you sound concerned, not like you are diagnosing the child yourself. Even if you do know the name of the condition, don't say it to MB. Just say things like "Oh I noticed he has been doing _____ a lot lately" or "I am concerned that he has been ______." This may give MB the idea that you really care for your charge and she may then think it's ok to trust you with this information. However, if you really want to help your charge, do some research yourself, like you said, and learn some techniques that you think will help. Just don't go crazy and start being a therapist without even knowing the full story.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

This was a really confusing post to understand so I think I will just leave it up to everyone else to advise you....


NANNY OF ONE said...

Dear OP
Can you please explain the Medical Condition, is it a learning disorder or something like a skin condition etc.

This story needs more expanding.

Phoenix said...

what kind of strange friend would do something like that? WOW

MissMannah said...

Phoenix, I think we are more in the realm of frenemy, rather than friend. N sounds like a really petty, immature woman. What I can't believe is that OP stood there and listened to all that gossip about her boss. That's when you hold your hands up and say TMI!!

OP, I do not see this ending well. Forget the "medical condition" part, I think MB is probably pissed that you know so much about her personal life now and may find a convenient reason to get rid of you. And, to be honest, I think she'd be justified in doing so.

StrawberryShortKakes said...

I am wondering why N would feel the need to tell you all this stuff??? Was she trying to warn you or something? I would take that into consideration here.

Nanny S said...

What is keeping you from researching the medical condition, regardless of talking to MB?

If you know she's sensitive about her condition and her gossipy neighbor told you, of course do not bring it up. If MB confronts you about the neighbor's blabber mouth, I would say something like, "She said things that I would never take as fact without hearing from you first. I don't want to think of it as gossip, but the information was from a source that I don't know very well, so of course I have reservations and would not form opinions based off what so-and-so said." Don't let this "friend" make issues between you and MB. Anything you repeat is only going to either a) embarrass her or b) make her very uncomfortable or c) both! Just let it go, and do whatever research you want.

Someone above suggested you bring it up on your own because of your own "observations"...unless MB is a complete idiot, she will see right through that and connect the dots and then you will look stupid. Just don't say anything.