Tuesday

Ill-mannered Mom Illuminates Nanny

opinion dec
Am I wrong? I got an email from a babysitting site from a mother interested in my services. She wanted to know if my price was set in stone. I charge $15 an hour. She wanted to know if I would come down some since it was only for one 5 month old and I'd only be expected to take her to story and music a couple of times a week. She also wanted to know if I'd do household chores such as sweeping, family laundry, dusting, and dishes. I wrote back and politely told her my rate was firm and included caring for the baby, washing her dishes/bottles, doing her laundry, keeping her room clean, and picking up after her toys. Additional duties could be discussed for an additional rate. She wrote back calling me a greedy couch potato, saying I was only in it for the money, and that many families are on a budget and I should be mindful of that in my fee. I have not responded yet. I don't think I should dignify her with a response.

23 comments:

NannyPoppins said...

You are correct. You do not need to respond (even though it can be tempting). Most likely if you do she will continue to call you names and start an internet argument. NOT worth it! Good luck with the job search :)

Anna-Marie Baker said...

If it was on Care.com or sittercity.com, I wouldn't bother. Since you wrote her back, she now has the ammunition to give you a bad rating on the website which could hurt you getting jobs. I don't know about Care.com, but I was recently informed by sittercity that their policy only allows parents to remove bad ratings.

Good Luck and hope this helps.

Jedd Meir said...
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nannies watch out said...

Jedd that is so true!! I always went on many interview, never any weird feelings. Just this one time, I just had a funny feeling. Can't really explain it, but I made my husband come and wait out in the car with our son.

I can't explain it just weird. Weird family. The father is interviewing me with the kids there. After ten minutes the mom comes out of the garage. No hello no smile. When I was leaving my purse was on the table. The father picked it up. Staring at it like he never saw a purse. He was like "is this your purse"? Just really strange the way he was dangling it. I said yes give it to me please. I went out the door husband was waiting. I asked about wages and all of a sudden its like he wasn't sure, he didn't think about it.

Shit you liar I wanted to say. Some freaky family

Heather said...

Yikes! Any parent who says/believes that is totally unreasonable (not to mention verbally abusive) and I think a response would be pointless.

TC said...

Wow op, what a bitch the mother is.

I wouldn't respond, she isn't worth it.

Crazy said...

If you are able to do so, you may want to block her so she can't write a bogus bad review or harass you anymore.

Ignore said...

Ignore!

RaleighNanny said...

Definitely ignore this person. You get what you pay for and if that is too much for her she can move along!

I agree with above but... said...

I do think that part of a nanny's duties should include taking the kid to classes or outings. I agree that this mom is rude but I don't know if you'll have much luck finding a nanny job if you are unwilling to leave the house with your charges unless you are paid more.

OPHere said...

I've chose to ignore her. I was just shocked, especially since she was the one to contact me. For the record I have no problem taking my charges places, as long as I am compensated for gas if it involves extensive driving. The extra I mentioned when answering mom was for doing her housekeeping.

You get what you pay for said...

I don't know where you live Anon but here in the Bay area 15.00 is not a lot of money to pay a Nanny. Nannies almost all have college degrees. Student loans are not cheap and finding a person who has a degree in childcare is important . You want a Nanny to do your housework you need to pay them for it. I know cleaning ladies here that charge 15.oo an hour and that sure doesn't include child care. My SIL paid a lot more then 15.00 for his Nanny for one kid. I find that if you pay a good wage and you ck references ,you get a good Nanny. You pay low wages you sometimes get what you pay for. My SIL paid a good salary, medical ins. and vacation and a car and insurance and upkeep. ON THE BOOKS. She offered to do housework and we paid her for that too. You treat people right and they do the same to you. 15.00 is not enough if they want you to do their housework too and cooking and wash..they say a housewife is worth 1oo,000 dollars a year. SO what makes it any different with a Nanny that takes care of the kids and does all the housekeeping? OP I wouldn't answer that insult..le tthat hag get whaT she pays for.

Daria said...

I think you are right in ignoring this mom and she should not call you greedy!
Anyways, I was once asked by a family if I could work for them for $12 an hour, and I first hesitated since my rate is 15, but decided to give it a shot since they seemed liked a really nice family. After only 2 weeks they told me that they were gong to start paying me 15 instead, and I was so happy that I had not turned them down just because the rate was a little bit less than I normally get.

Village said...

If only parents can post reviews if a nanny responds, maybe it would be better if a nanny did not respond to a request to lower the fee.

When the answer is going to be no, the parent may feel dissed, and 'get even' by posting a bad review. I don't see the upside is responding with a no.

Maybe the ignoring should start sooner.

Phoenix said...

I would respond to her but I also like to argue. I would remind her that "I would be caring for a 5-month old baby, tending to the bottles/dishes, her laundrey, and picking up after her. The minimum charge would be $15. And you could hardly classify that work as "couch-potato" because you, the mom are paying someone else to do it. Therefore you understand how hard and tiring all this is or you would do it yourself. Don't you understand that this is a bad economy and I have my own living expenses. Would you take a job for less than $15 an hour if you had to work 10 plus hours a day and be treated like a slave because the boss is too lazy to do it herself? I don't think you would take that job. I know this because you are trying to hire a nanny instead of tending to the child yourself."

That's what I would say :)

But ignoring her is the right thing to do. I am just one of those who has to be bad every now and then.

Wait! said...

Phoenix, I disagree with you that she should reply to this mother. As people have mentioned, only the mother would be able to post a review on this nanny, not the other way around. I would be tempted to argue and prove my point also, but it wouldn't be a smart business move because the mother could leave a bad review.

Also, I don't think you should say that a nanny is being paid to do housework because the mother is too lazy to do it herself! How is the mother supposed to do housework if she is out of the house, at work herself?? If she has the money to pay someone to do it while she is at work, I think she should absolutely take advantage of that opportunity so that she can spend quality time with her children when she gets home from work at the end of the day. BUT, she has to be willing and able to compensate the nanny to do it, it shouldn't be expected of the nanny for the same flat rate of normal child care. If a mother can not afford to pay someone to do her cleaning, she can absolutely do it after work like millions of working mothers out there. I am just saying that a mother paying a nanny to do cleaning isn't necessarily lazy. I would most certainly do that if I had kids. And a nanny. And a house. And money LOL.

MissMannah said...

Phoenix didn't say OP should reply to the mother, she said that she would do so if she was in OP's place. That's a pretty big difference there. I also agree that OP should not reply to her because of the risk of getting a bad review, but I'm with Phoenix in that I would have replied because we both like to argue. ;) I've done it before on care.com and fortunately the mom didn't respond. In case anyone's curious, here's what was said:

Mom: I have a 2 year old and need Mon-Fri care 7-4, how much would you charge?

Me: $350 a week, plus more for housework.

Mom: No way, that's more than twice what I was paying at the home daycare I just pulled him out of. Childcare shouldn't be that expensive.

Me: Well, that's because the woman running the daycare probably has 3-4 other children she was watching so she can afford to charge a small amount per family. Plus, she gets the luxury of staying in her own home. If you want your child to have the familiarity of his home and you want the peace of mind that he is getting the best care possible and one-on-one attention, you have to be willing to pay for it.

Jedd Meir said...
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Wait! said...

Wow, MissMannah, I can't believe that mother said that to you. I completely agree that you get what you pay for. If a mother wants her child to have more of a social setting with other children, she can usually get a cheaper rate at a daycare, but it is less one-on-one. If the mother wants accommodating, in-home care, she will definitely have to shell out more money. Of course we all know nannies can socialize the charges just fine by going on outings and playdates. She sounds like one of those mothers that doesn't know what an exceptional nanny looks like and probably isn't willing to pay for it.

Wow said...

The problem is that somewhere along the way having a nanny has become more mainstream, as opposed to only for wealthy families. Now people who can't really afford a nanny think it's their "right", but at the nanny's expense, of course. It certainly doesn't help our situation as a group when nannies lower their prices. If a parent can't afford to pay for a quality nanny, there's always daycare...or an illegal immigrant who's willing to work under the table for less than minimum wage...or a desperate American willing to work under the table for minimum wage. Either way, they usually get what they pay for.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Jedd,

Just wanted you to know we removed that thread... we appreciate your advice and becoming a regular poster.

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I hate the fact that parents can write whatever they want in reviewing someone and the Nanny cannot do anything about it. Sittercity has a response form, however many parents seeking a Nanny will just bypass any Nanny not having 5 stars. Sittercity and Care.com need to change their ratings policy altogether.