Sunday

"Show Me Some Respect, I have a Life, too!"

opinion 2 Hello! I just found this blog when searching for advice about my current job. I've loved reading the stories on there and would now like to ask for some advice of my own.

I have worked as a part-time nanny for the past 6+ years while I was in college. I graduated last year and at the beginning of this year took my first full-time nanny job. At first everything seemed to be working out great. I got along great with the parents, and I only had to take care of 1 child -- a few week old infant. When I started the job, we had agreed that I would do chores that pertained to the baby; her laundry and her dishes, and tidy up any toys we use, etc. The baby slept a lot, as newborns do, so I would also occasionally load/unload the dishwasher, vacuum and mop just to be nice. When they hired me, they said that my hours would be from 7:30am until no later than 5:30, but on most days it would be 3:30 (which would be a standard 8hour day) or 4:00. Also, I should note, that I get paid by the DAY, not the hour. At first this was all fine... I typically got off at 3:30 or 4:00, they seemed very appreciative of everything I did, including the extra house work (although never got any extra compensation, but I wasn't looking for that). After a few month "trial" period, they agreed to give me 5 paid vacation days --my only benefits.

As time went on, they started upping my responsibilities, leaving me a list of things to do like vacuum and mop and unload the dishwasher as if it was now EXPECTED of me, with no additional pay. They have me drive the baby to and from doctor's appointments (which is almost an hour round trip) with no compensation for gas. And my hours have gotten longer and longer... it is 5, 5:30 or sometimes even 6 before i get off most days now. Granted, we agreed to no later than 5:30 (and later than that has only happened maybe 3 times), but even when I work til 5:30 it is a 10 hour day and my hourly pay only comes out to barely over $7, BEFORE taxes.

It really all started going crazy about 3 months ago. After 6 months of working for them, I decided to go back to school to further my education, something they had said they would support me in if I should ever decide to do so. I gave them as much notice as possible (about a month) when I decided to take 1 summer class this summer. They seemed supportive of this and were able to get some relatives to watch the baby during my class. The class caused me to take 2 half days per week, resulting in the loss of one day of pay per week, which was tight but I was able to budget for it. When I decided to take a summer class I also knew that I would be taking classes this fall semester. I told the mother upfront, back in JUNE, that I would be taking classes this fall and that I would do everything I could to take them in the evening or online so they didn't interfere with my work schedule but that she should possibly look for a back-up just in case (since the same relatives would be unable to watch the baby in the fall). She still seemed supportive and everything was fine.... until August. Come August when I finally get my school schedule... I guess she didn't really believe it was going to happen or something. Only one of my two classes interferes with my work schedule, but there was nothing I could do about it. It's the only time the class was offered and it's mandatory. Well, the mom throws a fit on me! She was constantly onto me about changing my schedule to accommodate her, asking me to wait and take it next semester (which wouldn't work) even going to far as to ask me "Well, WHAT are you going to do if I can't find anyone to watch my child during your class?" in a very rude and condescending tone, like I owed her something and that it was my problem to fix. Okay, I get that it is an inconvenience, but I gave her 3 months notice to find a backup!!.

There have been all kinds of other just little things that have been happening that I feel are unfair. Like, in the beginning on the days she didn't have to be at work as early, she would just have me come in at 8:00... now when I ask about that, she says that she still needs me to come at 7:30. So, whatever, that's fine, it is our agreed upon start time. I understand having me come in and even if she's not ready to walk out the door immediately, as long as she's getting ready and I'm actually taking care of the baby I can understand it. But on more than one occasion in just the past 3 weeks, she has had me come in at 7:30 and she's still in her PAJAMAS. Doesn't even START getting ready to leave until 8:30 or 9.... during which time I do absolutely NOTHING for the baby. Mom feeds her, changes her and everything. So I basically just sit there for an hour and a half when I could have been at home doing things that pertain to my own life... it just makes me feel very disrespected and taken advantage of. And I bet you a hundred bucks if I was paid hourly this would not happen!!! Same thing happens in the afternoon too, Mom gets home right when baby goes down for a nap but still makes me stay there for over an hour while she piddles around her house. I could understand it if she came home and worked but she doesn't.. she puts on her PJ's and lounges. It's like show me some respect, I have a life too!!!

One more thing (sorry this is getting long!!) With my current class schedule, I watch the baby 3 full days a week at my normal daily pay, and 2 half days. On the 1/2 days I drop her off somewhere else at 12:45... so I have her 7:30-12:45 which is over 5 hours!! However, I only get paid HALF of my normal daily pay, which I don't think is fair. 5 hours is more than a half day right?! Also, I took my vacation a few weeks ago and was only paid for 4 days instead of 5. I was not told beforehand that this would happen. When I asked about it I was told it was because I only work part-time now.. she said, "WELL, ugh, it was YOUR decision to work less right?" in a rude tone. However, even though at a MINIMUM, I work 37 hours a week for them. I know it is not 40, but it is far from part-time!! Even if they were going to take away a vacation day, I feel that they should have given me some notice! I was not able to budget for the loss of that money and at only $6/hr after taxes, every dang penny goes somewhere! The other thing that drives me crazy about vacation days is I only get 5 (or 4)... for everything. No paid holidays, no paid time off if THEY take a day off... and they like to take off a holiday plus 1 or 2 more days, which has left me with 2 or 3 days less pay some weeks which I just can't afford.

I get that they're a family, not a company so I am not looking for health insurance and other benefits like that, but I have to make a living too, right?? Basically, my hourly pay is less than $8/hr right now ($6-ish after taxes), and I want to ask for a raise and bring up the vacation day situation because I feel it was unfair. I have another family that has offered me a job but they don't know WHEN it starts yet. Pay is $15/hr!!! You better believe that I am taking that the second she tells me it's a done deal. I want to bring this up with my current family and tell them I have other families pursuing me offering to pay more, but I'm scared that they may fire me on the spot (although I really doubt she will because she keeps saying she needs TWO MONTHS notice for my spring class schedule so she can find someone good to watch the kid, so it seems like she doesn't have anyone else) but I can't afford to not have a job at all. But at the same time I feel very taken advantage of and disrespected and maybe if they feel like someone else is offering me something better they will treat me better? I just don't know how to bring all of this up without sounding greedy or jeopardizing my job. Any advice??

42 comments:

NYCorBUST said...

RUN!!

(Some of these issues, such as the hours and the pay, you brought on yourself by agreeing to them... which doesn't make it right for them to offer unreasonable terms, but if you had spoken up at the beginning, it might have been different. However, this still seems like a family that does not respect you, as you said.)

Just how serious is this other job offer? I would talk to the potential new family to see where you really stand with that offer. If they are serious, make sure you get a written contract, and that you know what you are getting into (and can live with it) this time.

If the job offer is going to come through, DO NOT mention to your current employers that you have an offer. DO NOT ask them to change any of your job responsibilities or your pay, hours, etc. Wait it out and give them 2 weeks' notice (IF you can afford to be unemployed for those two weeks).

If the job offer is not serious, still DO NOT tell your current employers anything about your dissatisfaction. Get thee to the SitterCity, Care, and Nannies4Hire websites, and any agencies in your area (or in an area where you would like to move--but a long distance job search is more difficult than a local search, generally). Once you have a firm offer and a signed contract, give two weeks' notice (again, if you can afford to not be paid for that time), and get your booty outta Dodge!

Good luck!

another nanny said...

A few general things, some of which you will hear over and over again on this site:
-Always make sure you have a contract/work agreement, signed before you begin working, and make sure it references your hours, pay, responsibilities, and benefits
-When being paid by the day/week rather than hourly, you still need to calculate how it works out hourly, and make sure it meets your minimum expectations (eg, if you want to make $10 per hour, don't agree to a daily rate less than $100 for 7:30-5:30. And remember you need to be making at least minimum wage for it to be legal- are you making that now?!) Never count on the fact that they will let you go early. You should also be paid a set hourly rate for hours after 5:30
-Let the family know up front that you want to be paid 52 weeks a year...you are still available for them even if they choose not to have you work

Some/many of these problems may be attributable to the fact that they are first time nanny employers and you are a full time nanny for the first time. Honestly, though, I can understand them being upset about you taking two half days off per week. Often one of the reasons people hire nannies is to have more flexibility with scheduling.

In regards to a possible job offer...don't tell your current employer about it until it is a done deal (make sure you get an offer in writing, and then make sure you get a signed contract in place before starting, as stated above). As the pp said, give 2 weeks notice if you can afford to be unemployed for two weeks.
If you decide to stay at your current job, you would have to address these issues, and I would recommend asking for a review so that you can both air your issues and come to a compromise.
In future jobs, I would recommend open communication with your employer from the beginning, so you can bring up issues as soon as they come up. Once you allow the situation to go on, it becomes more awkward to address it

Truth Seeker said...

Your situation is a clear example of why I do not think it is a good idea to do chores while caring for a child. Everyone states that part of being a Nanny is doing the child's laundry, washing his or her dishes and picking up their toys. (I only agree with the last two.) However, once you agree to do one thing, the family then asks you to do another, then another..and before you know it, you are washing Mom and Dad's undergarments, chopping veggies for dinner and dusting the ceiling fan, etc. Being a Nanny is primarily childcare..however many parents assume that since you are in the home, you might as well do household chores as well. I am a Nanny who ONLY does childcare. Many will condemn me as being lazy..however I am just the opposite. Caring for a child can NEVER be done by a lazy person..it just isn't possible folks. Especially a small infant or toddler. ♫

OP, you are making peanuts and this family is trying to stretch their dollar with you by assigning you all those chores along with longer hours. I think you should be paid hourly and no less than $10/Hr. You can try to talk to them, however at this point it probably will do no good since from what you say, they sound like stingy people and stingy people do not change.

I would look for another job behind their backs. Try sittercity and Care.com. When you get another job offer, leave your current family ASAP. If you do the right thing and give them a standard two-wk notice, something tells me they will be very unhappy (to put it mildly.) After all, they have such a good deal...a maid/Nanny in one and all for less than minimum wage. Just keep in mind that you may have no income for two weeks and plan accordingly.

Hope this helps you out OP. Good Luck. Been there...done that. ☼

Teddy Westside said...

What I think would be wise for you to do at this stage is have a discussion with your current employer... WARN her that if you don't start getting some respect, it will be hard for you to stay. Just explain it to her logically that the situation has changed, with you being back in school, and if she is unable to be flexible, you will have to find another position out of NECESSITY. Don't bring up the new position at all.

You are an independent contractor and not at her mercy. You don't have to keep a job that no longer suits your needs. However, she deserves the opportunity to make changes in order to keep you... Don't just bail out one day without giving her that.

I agree but... said...

Truth Seeker makes a good point. While I don't personally care ONLY for the children (I do minimal chores), I think it all boils down to what both parties agree to. For example, when I was hired, the MB and DB were upfront about asking if I would be willing to a load of laundry here and there, load/unload the dishwasher, and tidying of the kids' rooms. I took that into consideration when deciding whether or not to take the job and I honestly didn't mind that at all. It was also clear to both of us that if a day with the children was particularly difficult and I didn't get around to the chores, it was not a problem at all. That is why I think it is very important to define exactly what your household chores will be and they will take a back seat to the care of children. If the parents weigh the childcare and housework as equal priorities, then you have a problem. Then you are both a nanny and a housekeeper.

If you aren't willing to do any chores (which is perfectly understandable), then it is up to you to communicate that to the parents. Don't take a job that looks as though the parents need a lot of help outside of caring for the children. That is just asking for a problem. If you tell them upfront that you don't do chores (or only do XY and Z chores), if they still hire you then you shouldn't have a problem. It all comes down to the agreement.

The big problem that we are seeing here if when chores get added to an already full plate. I'm not sure if it is worth it for the OP to sit down and talk to the parents about it (it seems like too many bridges have been burned and too much time has passed) but for others in this situation that is what I would suggest. Sitting them down and either referring to the original agreement or altering it, would allow you to maturely confront the situation. That way you can negotiate your duties and hopefully come to a happy medium if you still want to keep your job. I don't think quitting is always the best answer because then the next nanny will run into the same thing. It isn't exactly your problem anymore, but still.

alex said...

Okay you need to run and you need to run fast. How on earth are you living at a little over $6 an hour?? That is unbelievably cheap!! And you gave PLENTY of notice that you would be taking classes, maybe it would have been better to tell her the times (I know when I registered for classes, I found out times long before classes actually started) but either way you told her. And to dock your vacation day? Definitely not right. You need to take that other job and get a contract and never say you will work per day pay as you see what happens with that!

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

One thing to remember in your next job: Work Your Contract.

If potential employers sign a contract, they are showing that that is what they expect of you and what they are offering you for the job outlined. If they expect more than they are willing to commit to paper, the job will end badly. If you jump in to offer more than is committed to paper, the job will end badly. This is simple fact.

Decide what you are and are not willing to do as far as child-related chores and household chores are concerned. Then find a family that accepts and honors those boundaries, or at the very least a family that asks on SLIGHTLY more than you would prefer to give.

If parents are paying attention to their own lives, they will know that there is a lot of downtime with a newborn. If they ask you to do XYZ during that time, do not decide to add ABC without asking for more compensation. Just don't do it.

As for your current issues, I don't think things will get better. In your shoes, I would be looking for some sort of work that fits my school schedule, because if MB sabotages you by not having anyone in place to relieve you when you have to leave for school each day, what the heck are you going to do? Bring baby with?

While you job hunt for whatever you can find, also hunt for a new nanny position. Determine what you need to earn, and make that your salary requirement. Then work backwards to determine your hourly and OT rates. Have a good contract ready to be discussed with your new employers, and know where you will and will not compromise.

Best of luck to you, and update us when you can!

MissMannah said...

I'm not really understanding what you're asking here. Are you wanting our advice as to whether or not you should leave your job or if you made the right decisions or if you should give notice or what?

Your current job is not going to get any better. You allowed them to start taking advantage of you the minute you picked up a vacuum and mop without being asked. (Think about it, would YOU turn down free housekeeping services?) And some other things you mentioned aren't even that bad, you seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill, such as pay. They are paying you exactly what you agreed upon from the beginning so if that wasn't enough, you shouldn't have agreed to it. And why does it piss you off that MB is asking you to come in at your scheduled time but then not have you do any work for an hour? I think that's a great set-up! Have a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, bring your schoolwork along. You're getting paid to do nothing!

OK, so there are bad parts. They should have paid you for your 5 vacation days and I would have thrown a shit-fit about that one and probably quit on the spot. And when MB freaked out over you taking a fall class, I would have been tempted to say something like "Well that's your problem, isn't it?" TBH, these parents just sound kinda dumb.

Anyway, I'm rambling. The moral of this story is, always have a very detailed contract and don't let the parents get away with adding extra duties to your workload. You are capable of saying NO. This next job sounds promising, however do not quit your first one until you are absolutely certain you have the job. Trust me, a verbal offer is not absolutely certain.

Miss Mannah's 1000th Fan...♥ said...

@Miss Mannah: Yes, I would turn down free housekeeping if it meant I was taking advantage of someone. Also, even though OP agreed to such low pay, it does not exonerate this crummy family from using her. And the reason she does not want to be at work doing nothing is that she prefers to be at home doing nothing. She IS NOT being paid more for being at their house.

I think you are always trying to stir the pot and piss people off and make them argue. Get a life.

Miss Junebug said...

Thanks for all of the advice everyone! To address some comments/questions...

- this is my first full time nanny job, so I was unaware of potential issues that could arise with being paid daily vs. hourly, etc. Obviously I now know this and will not agree to it again in the future. Also, as I said, there were no issues with this family until I decided to go back to school... so to me, it seems like Mom is a "my way or no way" type of lady.

- as far as the actual pay as it averages out hourly goes... I did the math up front.. I'm not that dumb ;) and while it was a little lower than I wanted they had also "promised" me a raise 3 months in (that I did not get, shocker). Again, being my first full time job I took them at their word. I also was not sure how much I'd actually have to set aside for taxes. Looking back I realize I should have figured this all out ahead of time, but it seemed like it was going to average out to more about $9/hr vs. $6 or 7.

- I gave her 3 months notice that I was going to school, and about 6 weeks notice of the specific time of the classes.

-It is not that I am not willing to do chores. I honestly don't mind it. And when I started we agreed that I would do the baby's laundry and dishes and keep her toys picked up. What I do mind however, is them adding on other chores such as the dishwasher (when I don't even use their dishes for myself), vacuuming and mopping... for no extra compensation or appreciation and just giving me a list to do it as if it is expected of me. Yes, I did unload the dishwasher a time or two just to be nice... I did not realize this would lead to being taken advantage of. Now I know. :-/

- and yes, as MissMannah's 1000th fan said, the reason it irks me that she has come in and sit and do nothing for 1-2 hours is because there are a million things I could be doing at home. If she was paying me extra (hourly) to be there, then fine.. but she's not. And I bet she wouldn't do it if she was. It just shows no respect.

Anyway, I have worked part-time for over 10 families and I have NEVER been treated this way or had an experience like this. I guess I've been very blessed in the past and have learned some things for the future.

Does anyone have any advice on what to do when the family takes days off without paying you? Columbus Day is coming up and they've already told me they are planning to take 2 extra days off and I can't afford to not get paid for those!!!

Also, what do all the abbreviations mean (OP, MB, DB..) I am new here! haha! thanks!

Miss Junebug said...

@Anonymous -- I understand why she may have docked the vacation day when I look it at it the way you put it. However, when I first asked her about it, she could not give me an answer. She just kept tip-toeing around it. I felt as if she knew I was right but did not want to admit it. At that time though (about 2 weeks ago, which was when it happened) I was trying to be understanding from their side (even though they couldn't explain it) and make it work (maybe I am too nice??) but now I feel as though I need to address it because I don't think it was fair and I don't want them to walk all over me. As an employer of a nanny, what do you think would be a good way to go about that without putting them on the defensive and making them angry?

Wow said...

I say find another job and start over, following the advice just given to you.

The abbreviations mean:

OP - Original Poster
MB - Mom Boss
DB - Dad Boss
IMO - In My Opinion
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
TBH - To be Honest

Just my opinion said...

Although this situation now seems a bit beyond repair, at least you can use all that you've learned, in addition to the advice given to you, to find a better job for you in the future.

I agree with the anonymous mom who posted and said that it wasn't very fair for you to go from full time nanny to non-full time nanny. Although you did give her advanced notice, it is still difficult to find someone to cover your hours, especially after she didn't think she would need more coverage beyond you (her full time nanny). Just because you give advanced notice doesn't mean that it's ok. I know that you mentioned that they supported you going back to school but perhaps they were expecting more notice or they weren't expecting you to go back to school so soon. I'm not sure.

As far as the paid days of vacation, I also have to agree with the anonymous mom who posted. Yes, you were promised those 5 days but that was when you were working full time. When you dropped it down to 3 full days and 2 half days, she probably thought it was not fair to pay you for all 5. Plus she was probably mad at you, to be honest. I think that she could have handled it more maturely by telling you ahead of time that you would only get paid for 4 days, rather than 5.

From this point forward I don't think I would want to stay at this job. The MB seems to have a grudge against you after all that's been done. Although you seem like you would be willing to try and repair the damage, I don't know if it would be worth it. With the extra chores being added on and the very low pay, I would walk and find something new.

The Songwriter Nanny said...

While I agree that this situation sounds beyond repair, I think sitting down with your MB and telling her how you feel might be a good idea. You never know.

I was in a situation that wasn't as bad as yours, but I felt used and unappreciated. So I told my employers just that. Amazingly, they pretty much did a 180, and suddenly my job became bearable. This may not happen for you, but I think it's worth a try.

If I were you, I would try and schedule a few trial days with this new family you interviewed with, and write up a very clear and detailed work agreement.

Phoenix said...

I would start off by saying. I'm glad you are going back to school. This is something good for you and please don't change it.

You should never do household chores that are not for the baby just because you have time and you want to be nice. Helping suddenly turns into expecting. For your next position, don't do that. Find another way to entertain yourself.

I agree that you need to find another job that is going to work around your school schedule. Maybe even get out of the nanny field until you are done with school.

MissMannah said...

"the reason it irks me that she has come in and sit and do nothing for 1-2 hours is because there are a million things I could be doing at home"

Am I the only one here who finds this completely irrational? I guess this statement annoys me so much because I'm in the same predicament almost everyday. I get to work at 7 but Baby K doesn't usually wake up until about 8 or 8:30 so I have absolutely nothing to do. Then he takes a nap around 10 or so and I have another couple of hours with nothing to do. That's why I bring my laptop and homework to their house with me, it cuts out a little bit of the "million" things I have waiting for me at home. I find this free time to be a huge perk. If the MB is annoying you so much, just ignore her and read a book or whatever. You already said she was attending to all the baby's needs. I think it is more of a case of you just not liking her and finding yet another reason not to like her.

And to my thousandth "fan" uh excuse me, I think you should read OP's story again. You said she isn't being paid more to be at work...well duh, she is salaried by the day, based on a 10-hour day. She is expected to be available to work the full 10 hours. I did not say the family should not be held accountable, yes they are definitely using her. But she's letting them. She let them from the very beginning. That's why I told her she is capable of saying NO, so that she won't be in the predicament with the next family.

I should get a life? And what exactly would that entail, as you also are commenting on this forum?

Not so sure said...

I can see both sides of the topic of being at work with nothing to do. I have found myself in this same situation before (being at work when I could be at home) and I even get paid by the hour! Especially when I get to work first thing in the morning and there is nothing to do... I am not a morning person and would rather be sleeping.

On the one hand, if you are being paid by the day, as opposed by the hour, it would be ideal to actually be working during those hours. But, if you were to ask the mom to come in later, she would probably decrease your daily pay. She probably breaks down the daily pay by the hour and will decrease your pay if you come in later. In other words, coming in later will probably get you less money, rather than your daily rate. Maybe I'm wrong but it seems like this particular MB is cheap.

So, if you are still at this job, it might be worth it to bring this up to the MB but be prepared for her to decrease your daily pay. She will realize that if you come in later and she is paying you the same amount, she is "wasting" her money. Also, be prepared for her to ask you to do other chores. Since she has already dumped other chores on you, I'm sure she will be able to find something else to keep you busy.

Miss Mannah's 1000th Fan... said...

@Miss Mannah: Yes, you are the only one who sees this as "irrational" dear.

When I say "Get a Life", I am referring to the fact that you are always trying to stir the pot on every OP posting on this blog. If you love drama so much, become a reality star.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

I did want to add that IMO free/down time at work is the perfect time to surf the net, do homework, read, relax, etc. Heck, you could even knock out a load of laundry if you needed to do so!

So I think that's the very very least of your issues, unless MB is standing there staring at you the whole time you are doing your thing.

Miss Junebug said...

@Miss Mannah -- actually I do bring a laptop with me and yes I could be doing homework, email, whatever. But that's not the point. The point is that she does not NEED me to be there and I do not get paid any extra for being there as I would if I were paid hourly. Instead of sitting at their house twiddling my thumbs for an hour or two, I could be at my own house taking care of my family, my pets, doing my own house chores, etc.

@Not so sure -- this is not a daily occurance, so I don't think it's worth being concerned about her docking my pay if I were to bring it up. My issue with it is that she used to tell me to come in later on her "late" days (about twice a month), however now, even when I ask because I have legitimate things to take care of at home (my dog just had to have major surgery and has to have certain medications in the mornings and the extra 30 mins to an hour would be helpful) she still has me come in, for no reason.

I know it was our agreed upon start time, which is fine.. I get that, so yes she has every right to have me come in and twiddle my thumbs on her couch at that hour if she wants... my beef with it is that it just seems very disrespectful and I could almost guarantee you if I was paid hourly she'd say sure, come in later.

However, like I said, not a daily occurence.

Otherwise, I agree with both sides (even MissMannah)--the down time during the rest of the day? yeah, I do see that as a perk.

Dr. Juris said...

I agree with Miss Mannah to a certain extent: OP let herself be taken advantage of, but this is a learning experience. However, opinion is completely wrong. She gave them advance notice, and if it was not okay, then they had two months to find someone or to fire her. This passive aggressive BS regarding not finding help is just that...BS.

Dr. Juris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phoenix said...
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Phoenix said...

Miss Mannah I didn’t know that you had groupies too! How absolutely wonderful! It appears that people don’t understand you rational thinking because they are lacking in intelligence and wit. And ape can add 2+2 and realize it’s 4 with practice. Most humans will argue with you that it equals 3 just because that is how their brain is built. Don’t take offense to these people. They can’t help it that their wires are crossed. What matters is what they say they think is right. So in essence we can’t blame them for being wrong if they don’t know any better. The best you can do it express the logical and fair way to think and if they don’t pick up on it then just know that you are a higher intelligence and be proud that you are not sub-species.

I like you because you don’t back down or change your argument unless you truly feel that you have made an error or you have thought about it and put together a more cohesive conclusion. That is the sign of a truly intelligent person, being able to accept others opinions and still coming to your own outcome. Being open minded is the best thing in the world. Now I don’t know how to get all the “religious” to do it yet but sure as shit I’m trying.

You go girl! I got your back. But in the world of the ISYN Groupie that is not really a prize. LMFAO

Ew said...

Phoenix, you are such a hypocrite! First you say that it's great that she sticks to her opinion and doesn't waver but then you say that being open minded is "the best thing in the world". Essentially, you are commending her for being hard-headed. Yeah, congratulations.

MissMannah said...

Thank you Phoenix. Heavy praise, coming from you. I don't take offense at what they've been saying because I have plenty of experience with people having the "I'm always right" attitude. I come from a family of fundamentalist Christians. And of course I have that attitude much of the time too.

I want to clarify...I am not a morning person by any means. My husband and I almost always sleep past noon on weekends. So I would MUCH rather be in bed rather than sitting at work piddling around, waiting for the baby to wake up and lately watching MB get ready. The woman has been late for work everyday for like 3 weeks now, weird but none of my business. But my point is, I signed a contract saying I will get there at 7 am and I'm going to be there unless specifically told not to. I don't expect to be compensated extra for wasting my time, and neither should you. Nor is it a case of her being disrespectful, she probably doesn't give it a second thought (because it doesn't sound like your MB is capable of more than one at a time). Whatever you do, don't bring it up with her because I'll bet dollars to doughnuts she'll find plenty of things for you to do.

NYCorBUST said...

Can we stop with the uncalled for hatred toward Christians that is coming out on this post?

nycmom said...

I agree with MissMannah on the work hours issue. If I hire my nanny to work 8am-6pm, then, yes, I expect her to be there from 8am-6pm. In the case of a ft nanny whom I am paying a salary (broken down to an hourly rate as we all know must be done legally), I expect ft hours. Obviously, the mom in the OP finds some benefit to having OP there.

Sometimes on days without school, the kids are not awake when my nanny arrives. She uses that time to relax or prepare for the day. If I get home early from work, I use that time to shower, pay bills, or just plain relax. I really take issue with the concept that my nanny should dictate what I am allowed to do during the hours she is being paid to work. If I want to sleep, watch TV, or go shopping - that is entirely my choice as long as I adhere to the hours and duties outlined in our contract.I specify my nanny's exact hours each week based on a maximum agreed upon hours, and I do not have her leave early or arrive late. I also adhere to those hours strictly and would never expect her to stay later than agreed upon.

There are obviously myriad other problems with OP's employer and it is a job she should exit as soon as financially possible. However, having to be at work during the agreed upon hours is not one of those problems.

Phoenix said...

NYCorBUST

what Christian hate has been had?

Nanny in Sunny Sandy Eggo.... said...

@Anon: In answer to your question, it would depend on where you live, whether you are a live-in or live out plus whether you have any household duties. To me, for fifty hours, it seems a little on the low end, but you are also getting HUGE benefits as well.

Anyway, I think everyone is missing OP's point which is she is complaining about having to be at work, yet she is not getting paid any extra for being there and she could use that time more efficiently at home doing chores, sleeping or whatever. If she was being paid to be there extra, she would have no qualms about it, yet MomBoss is having her there "doing nothing." OP's time is just as valuable as anyone else's, right?? ‼

MissMannah said...

But if she gets a flat daily rate for 10 hours, why should she get paid extra to do nothing? She isn't going in earlier than scheduled, so she shouldn't need an incentive.

Bottom Line said...

I dont think its a question of being paid more because that doesnt seem to be what she wants. The point is that she is being paid a flat daily rate for a set amount of hours and she is not being utilized during all of those hours. Her desire is to come in later and still get paid the same amount. As she has stated several times, she feels like she isn't being respected because IF MB was paying her by the hour, instead of by the day, then MB probably would not have her come in to hang around.

In my opinion, I think that MB is having you come in for those hours in order to "reserve" you for that time. That way, if she ever actually feels like getting up and out of the house early, she will know that you will be there. I have run into this before, because it seems like every day when I get to work, the baby is asleep for a while so I end up sitting there. Yes, I would love to be sleeping or doing something at my own house but I agreed to come into work at that time. Besides, sometimes when I arrive at work, the baby is awake so it's not an issue.

OPs main point is that she feels like she is not being respected and I would have to agree with you to a certain extent. I agree that it is disrespectful for her to have you come and do nothing. I have definitely been there, done that. However, you did agree to work for those hours at a daily rate. I firmly believe that if you ask her to come in later, she will decrease your pay. She probably did the math and thought that for X amount of hours she is paying you X amount of dollars. If you decrease those hours, then she isn't "getting her money's worth" in her mind.

If my memory serves me correctly, I don't think the OP has stated that she thinks she should get more money for being there. That would actually not make any sense. So, I think it boils down to disrespect on MB's part but I doubt she sees it that way.

Marypoppin'pills said...

If any Readers need advice, please submit your problem in an e-mail to ISYN.

It is rude to hijack another Poster's thread with your personal questions.

Nanny next door said...

The Top Ten Things To Eat While Stoned in my Employer's House
by a live in nanny who working for a family that travels often without me giving me plenty of chill time, if you know what I mean.
10. Provolone cheese slice wrapped around kettle vinegar chips.
9) My boss's teriyaki chicken. (I rarely get this lucky.)
8)Peanut butter on a toasted buttermilk waffle.
7) Those frozen pretzels from the freezer? Salted, baked and covered with expensive french cheese. Eaten with a side of spicy Belgian mustard.
6)cold brownies (with milk chocolate chips) dipped in cool whip.
5) sliced turkey breast, cranberry, swiss cheese, mayo and onion on a french roll.
4) hot vanilla/white cake batter
3) tuna salad on english muffin with havarti cheese.
2) scrambled eggs on top of sour dough toast (with butter and grape jelly). Eaten as 4 open face sandwiches.
1. an egg scrambled up with matza and doused in green tabasco sauce.

MissMannah said...

Bottom Line, actually she said it twice:

"If she was paying me extra (hourly) to be there, then fine.. but she's not. And I bet she wouldn't do it if she was. It just shows no respect."

"The point is that she does not NEED me to be there and I do not get paid any extra for being there as I would if I were paid hourly."

Sandy Eggo also said it:

"yet she is not getting paid any extra for being there"

Ii sounds like I keep harping on this issue, but it is the fact that the word "extra" keeps popping up, and I don't understand why. Say OP gets paid $100 a day for a 10-hour day. So that breaks down to $10 an hour. No matter if she gets paid hourly or salary, she's still only going to get $100 for her scheduled 10 hours of work. No "extra". What she is expecting is to come in an hour or two later and get $100, which would be great but if she was an hourly employee, she would only get $80-$90.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

OP, YOU agreed to work 10 hours a day for a low daily rate. YOU made a mistake that I am sure you won't repeat. Your BOSS has every right to have you work every single minute of those 10 hours, like it or not.

So, either suck it up or leave.

For those defending OP's whining, get a clue. She agreed to work a set number of hours for a set daily rate, and now she wants to cut those hours without losing pay OR get more money for those set hours. That's called illogical and unreasonable unless OP is making those requests while asking for a pay increase because she has been there for a year or because she is going above and beyond her job description based on EMPLOYER'S REQUEST.

OP is going above and beyond because she volunteered to do so. That's her second mistake. Next nanny position, she will know to WORK. THE. CONTRACT. and she will know to not agree to a crappy wage.

Good luck in your next position and at school OP!

Nanny E said...

Nanny next door,

WTF?

nanny next door said...

I submitted this as a post. Thanks for ignoring me.

Bottom Line said...

MissMannah,
I think we are just getting stuck on the word "extra" because I agree with the post that you made, breaking down the hourly pay. I don't think that she is looking for "extra" money in the sense that she gets MORE money for being there in addition to her daily rate. That is what I meant by saying that she isn't asking for extra money.

When she says extra, I think she means that she is just getting her daily rate and not being paid by the hour. If I am remembering correctly, she is getting paid very little if you break down her daily rate into hours (which was a mistake on her part). She is also saying that if she were getting paid hourly, the MB would not have her come in and do nothing, and I see her point. IF the MB were paying the OP HOURLY to sit there and do nothing, that would be extra in the OP's mind.

If the OP would jump in and explain that would be great LOL

Palmolive said...

I did not read all of this in great detail, but did notice the focus on unloading a dishwasher. THINK ABOUT IT.. if a nanny is making SUCH A BIG DEAL about unloading a dishwaher for God's sake, what would she be like in any other job? Goodness, if you are this lazy and unmotivated and UNLOADING A DISHWASHER is such a big deal, how in the world do you function throughout daily life? You are being paid for the time you are there, earn it, and make each minute count! During your ten hours, the employer has the right to ask for whatever work they want done, and your being overwhelmed by a DISHWASHER shows an incredible degree of laziness. Also, if you are getting paid to work a set amount of time, it is up to the employer to use that time however she sees fit.. why should she conform to your expectation of her being ready to walk out the door when you come in? SURE, you would rather be at home working up the gumption to unload your own dishwasher, but guess what, you are being paid to be at the other home!!! So many of the nannies on here come across as so lazy and entitled and have no idea how to put in a honest day's labor. Work is NOT FUN AND GAMES. If I am being paid to show up at 8:00, it is not my business what my employer is doing or what she is wearing! I am there to work and OMG, even unload the dishwasher! Got to go and rest up, I have 5 minutes of dishwasher work in the morning!

nycmom said...

Pamlolive,

I have no idea if we have interacted before under different names, different times. But right now, right here, I just want to say - I like your style : )

You made me laugh (in a good way).

Googles said...

I totally agree with missmannah. In fact i was annoyed reading the post because the op comes across as entitled with a sour attitude. Id love to hear the familys side of the story. She agreed to the pay. And even though she gave notice in june about school the op didnt know her school schedule until august. So how could the family plan? I hope the parents read this website.