Why I Am Leaving

rant 1 I have a secret. A big secret, and I am keeping it to myself. The reason why I am keeping it to myself is because you have a big mouth. In addition to the gossiping, your lack of support to other staff members is ridiculous. You are technically the assistant director, however, as many staff members know, the only reason why you have your job and title is because it was created for you based on the fact that you are friends with the right people.

You always tell us (the staff) to call when we need you. That is a load of crap. When the cook needs you to support her, you act like you are so busy, when in reality you are either sitting on your butt or in the administrator's office, where you spend the majority of your time. The cook has a disability that prevents her from exceeding a certain weight requirement. Every Tuesday, she has to put the entire food order away because you won't help her. You are aware of the disability, however, you choose to ignore it.

When we (my co-teacher and I) had a toilet that overflowed several weeks ago, we called you to assist us in cleaning it up. You said that if you came back there, you would puke and we would have to clean it up. The mess sat for twenty minutes before you sent in another teacher to assist us, when you could've done it yourself. That is part of the job as assistant director: filling in for the center director on her off days, and supporting the teachers when needed. During this twenty minutes, we had to greet parents as they came to pick up their children, conduct a learning center, supervise the children on the other side of the classroom, make sure the mess (which contained poop and pee) didn't spill out into the hallway, re-route children to the other bathrooms in the hallway and make sure all the children were safe. Had you been in there, things would have been a lot smoother. Instead, you ignored us and our needs, demonstrating your lack of being a team player and support for the teachers.

Aside from the fact that you don't appear to be a team player, the thing that really gets me is how bad you gossip. Your favorite target is me, and I believe it was you that told the director about my lack of listening and communication with the parents in my room. I was told that several parents came to the director and complained about this, however, the week that they supposedly complained, she was on vacation - how could they complain to her when she was gone for a week? I honestly feel in my heart that not one person complained; I do feel that I may have said something that was taken out of context, which was mentioned to you by a teacher, and you added way more to what was said than needed. In other words, you added things to what I said to make me look like a bad teacher.

I am so sick of you. Really, I am. This past week, I took some children to lunch and swimming on my off day with parental permission. When I arrived to pick the children up, I am told by my director that several children were upset that they couldn't go, and that one child broke down in tears because she thought it was a popularity contest to go swimming with me. That was not the case. Anyone was welcome to go with parental permission. I felt really bad for thinking that I made a child cry, and was tempted to change my mind about going since a child was upset. I had fun swimming, however, in the back of my mind, I wondered if what I was told was true.

I talked with the cook and both school age teachers, who told me that NOBODY cried or was upset. Once again, I was lied to by my director, who I believe got the supposed information from you. You opened your mouth once again about me, making me look like a bad person because only certain children were allowed to go with me.

If I went to any member of administration with my concerns, it would be denied, so I am not going to bother. I think I have it figured out why you keep talking about me: you are jealous. The reason why you are jealous is because I can text/call your neighbor anytime and ask her if I can take her daughters out. You and your neighbor are friends from what I heard, and pretty good friends at that. I think this eats at you, and you are using this jealousy to spread gossip and get me fired. I think you are waiting for me to do or say something that you can use against me because the day I took your friend's daughters shopping a few months ago, just like last week, it got on your nerves.

Thank you to the office assistant who made me feel like less than a person a few weeks ago. You are aware that I am in the classroom full time right? Or does that not matter to you? It didn't most recently, and to be perfectly honest, not acknowledging the fact that I am a teacher in my classroom was the lowest thing I have ever experienced in my entire career. I wanted to thank you for that, and I look forward to you leaving at the end of the summer when school starts.

My secret? I am leaving in two weeks. I am leaving teachers that I love and admire, parents who are wonderful, and children that I have seen grow over the last three years. The reason why I am leaving is because of you, dear "assistant director", due to the fact that I cannot work in a place where I am constantly made to feel bad about myself. I also cannot deal with the gossip and the fact that I cannot trust my own boss anymore. However, when I am asked why I am leaving, I will say that I found a job with more flexibility, better pay and more hours. I will keep the fact that your gossip as the reason why I am leaving to myself.


no offense said...

Wow. How petty, insecure, ridiculous even! And no, I'm not talking about the assistant director, sorry. I do not imagine you'll be missed at this center. Perhaps this other woman is a big jerk, but really you need to grow up. In a workplace we have to deal with a**holes and people who want us to fail, especially those in higher positions than us. Good luck to you, maybe a nanny position will work better for you. I just hope the mother is not a catty type that will eat you alive. Btw, you should have invited the whole class or none at all. Kind of like a birthday party for young kids. If you exclude certain kids they WILL definitely notice and absolutely feel left out and wonder why and that can be terrible for their self esteem.

childcare supervisor said...

To be quite honest, I couldn't even finish reading this.

Where shall I begin?

First of all, you have no idea what an administrator has to do when they are "sitting on their ass all day." It is absolutely none of your business what they are doing.

Secondly, to hire someone with a disability is a wonderful thing: many places do not welcome people with disabilities. Did it ever occur to you that this cook needs this job and is lucky to have it? As a parent of a disabled child, you should be commending your place of business for hiring disabled people, not trashing them.

Babysitting in off hours, for free or not, is unprofessional. And favoritism is a big reason why. Any professional childcare provider does not do it. When I was in my 20's I did, but now most places do not allow it. The place where I work at (I am a supervisor) does not allow it, thank God.

Stop complaining and learn to work in the real world. Grow up. You are not there to socialize or make friends or have a great fucking time. You are there to do your job and work.

Gosh. This post really irks me.

MissMannah said...

I've worked in crappy daycares, I know where you're coming from. I've worked with vindictive ladies. It sucks. But you know what? It isn't worth quitting over, that only makes you look like a whiny baby who can't hold a job. Do you know what you are supposed to do? Ask for a conference with both managers to clear the air. Say "I feel as if we have a problem with..." and "Can we possibly change..." so that you can have a more peaceful working environment. Believe it or not, management actually does want to support their teachers, sometimes they just are not aware of problems. Especially if the teachers are constantly going behind their backs, comparing notes and complaining.

UmassSlytherin said...

Excellent post, Miss Mannah. I completely agree. A meeting is needed on this topic. OP is gossiping behind the Directors' backs, (talking to the cook, etc.) and a more effective way would be a meeting to clear the air, and if that doesn't work, a mediation session with another supervisor.

Working in childcare centers is challenging because childcare providers come from all different backgrounds: education, social brackets, personality types, etc.

I guarantee that if OP quits this job, she will encounter this situation again and again and again. Better to deal with it head-on, and know that you have tried to work it out peacefully as an adult.

OP, do you have another job to go to? You should think about that before you quit. Your prospective new employers will be wary of you if you leave on bad terms, especially if they know that you did not at least try to work it out.

Phoenix said...

wow. I hope you are going to a better job with better hours. I would never let someone walk all over me like that. I would have stood up to her. i think you are a coward but kudos on not lowering yourself down to her level. I would have. I probably would have punched right in her big head. I would have talked to my director about her and let her know what was going on. I would have brought in witnesses. I would have made her look like the biggest fool in the world!!!!! I guess your experience made me irritated for you.

... said...


You generally seem irritated. As a rule.

noeladd said...

@childcare supervisor I got the impression from the OP's mention of the cook's disability that the OP felt that the administrator should assist the cook in unloading the order because the cook should not be required to lift so much weight because of her disability (potentially physical issues?). I do not see where the OP was saying that they shouldn't have hired a person with a disability.

@OP there are much better ways to deal with this situation besides writing an anonymous passive-aggressive posting here. If there actually are issues at this daycare you should try addressing them before you leave because your leaving will not help the children in the least and could even end up harming them. I hope you find a job where you feel free to speak your opinion and you can stop gossiping about your co-workers.

my thoughts said...


It seems to me that rather than gossiping, OP should let the cool deal with her own problems. If she cannot lift certain things, she should be the one to ask for help if she needs it.

Maybe the cook does not want to because she knows it is in her job description to do it, and she can't. People with disabilities need to have their work duties altered on their own: it is between them and their boss.

Furthermore, it is NOT the assistant director's job to clean up pee and poop and unstop clogged toilets. You should be able to handle that yourself, OP. If you cannot unclog a toilet, you might not be cut out for childcare.

Taking kids out to lunch and to outings on your day off? That is just weird. Have you ever heard the term "liability?" One of the first things we do at my work when we train (young and inexperienced) staff is to tell them how important it is not to socialize with the clients in off hours. That is just common sense.

You are doing the right thing to quit. You are not cut out for this job. If you are burnt out now, you will never last in childcare.

nanny2 said...

OP didn't say she couldn't unclog the toilet...more that she couldn't unclog it while also managing the normal routines of the classroom, which is understandable.

OP, I do think it would be better if you addressed these issues head on. I also would curtail the taking children on outings on your day off. 1. It's beneficial to relax and recharge, either by yourself or with other adults, and 2. As somebody said, liability (especially swimming, omg I am having convulsions)
Gossip does tend to be very bad in child care settings, and it can become toxic, but you will probably find the same thing at the next job, so as a pp said, better to address your issues assertively.

OP said...

Let me clarify a few things:

The assistant director is my boss's (the person in charge of the directors)best friend.

I am not the only person thinks the assistant director doesn't do anything all day. All of my friends who resigned from their positions (3 of them left within 3 weeks due to various reasons) thought the same thing about the assistant director-she uses her title assert her authority, when the truth is the only reason she has her job is because she the best friend of the administrator, who is in charge of the entire staff, including directors.

We did not expect the assistant director to clean up the bathroom. We did expect one of them to step in the classroom to assist us in keeping the room running smoothly, and to keep everyone safe, as the mess took our attention from the children.

One of the children I took swimming is my goddaughter. The other children I took with me were two of her friends from daycare, including the younger sibling of the friend. As for babysitting, many of our teachers babysit for families outside the center, and this is acceptable. In fact, I am babysitting for two families this week from daycare.

I am not some young girl working her first, second, or third job in daycare. I have worked in worse situations than the current one I am in. I do have a thick skin, yet I do not like being lied to about things that I supposedly said or things that supposedly happened. One of my friends who used to work there was talked to by a member of management regarding comments my friend supposedly said about a member of management. My friend said she didn't say anything bad about anyone, and wanted to know what she supposedly said, and she was told by the person that talked to her that the person didn't know what she said, only that she said it. In other words, my friend was accused of saying something she didn't say.

Yes, I could speak to someone about how I am feeling, but what good would it do?

so unprofessional said...

OP, if one of your "friends" denied saying something that she was accused of saying...well...I don't really believe it simply because you say quite frankly that you talk about these administrators quite a bit.

If you are so experienced in childcare and great at it, you would be the administrator.

You obviously have an attitude problem and refuse to accept criticism. If people are complaining about your communication skills, perhaps you are offended by that and it is getting in the way of your better judgment.

Step away from yourself and try to see yourself as others see you. The worst thing in the world is to think you are perfect.

Regarding babysitting in off hours in childcare: unprofessional. I don't care if it is allowed or accepted at your center, it can ultimately lead to no good. So so so unprofessional.

so unprofessional said...

p.s. regarding gossip: you are part of the problem, OP. If you were not, then you would not know that three other people don't like this woman.

Focus on your own problems, not on other people's. This is a place of business, not High School.

OP said...

So Unprofessional:

You do not know me, you do not work with me, so you have no right to attack me.

"If you are so experienced in childcare and great at it, you would be the administrator".

My administrator has been there for 7 years, when the center opened, which happens to be this month. Most of our teachers have been there over a year; I have been there for three years this month.

I bet the next question that comes out of your mouth is why wasn't I fired along time ago, because according to you, I am obviously unprofessional and clearly demonstrate that on a daily basis because of communication skills and the fact that I babysit for families on my off time.

You DO NOT know me, or anything about me, so allow me to pass the tape right now.

Children in this center love me. I could walk into a classroom and have children drop what they are doing to give me a hug. A family in my room gave me a thank you card for taking great care of their son (he is in my class) so fat this summer. The family I am babysitting for gave me a $70 in addition to rate I quoted them. Families in my center are very generous and wonderful, and they appreciate me, just like my co-workers do.

I don't have a problem with the assistant director as a person, just her attitude. It is possible to like the person you work with not like the decisions they make, how they do something, and how they talk to other staff members. This is how some people feel about the assistant director. She is not that bad of a person, however, she talks too much.

So you think that my co-workers who babysit for families outside of the center are unprofessional? You think that my friends who left are unprofessional because they didn't like how they were be treated? My friend who was accused of something she didn't say is considered unprofessional? She left because she was unhappy and being accused of what she said was the final straw. Like her, the assistant director could make anything up to get me fired. You do understand that, right?

I don't belong in childcare. I am unprofessional, immature, and don't belong in childcare. I should leave and not return to childcare, finding a job bagging groceries.

Perhaps I am wrong for posting here. OK, I admit that. I love children, I am in the right field, and will not leave, especially when people like you insult me.

My new job was confirmed last night. A part time nanny job with a fun family and three kids, able to work around my school schedule.

For those of you attacking me: I admit I am wrong for writing this rant.

For those of you insulting me: you are entitled to your opinion, but you don't know me.
Everyone gossips, including me. I do admit to that myself. I also admit to be unprofessional,

MissMannah said...

Just because you love children and they love you, does not make what you are doing the professional and right choice. Just because it is acceptable at your workplace to babysit children from the center does not mean it is a good idea. Most places I've worked have a strict company policy of no babysitting in off hours. You know why? Favoritism. It doesn't matter if she is your goddaughter, if you are getting paid to watch her, that parent is favoring you over the other teachers and in fact, the company should arrange that you are never your goddaughter's teacher for the same reason.

It blows my mind that you can't accept that your gossiping is just as bad as the assistant director's gossiping. You said if you say something, what good will it do? Well, how do you know nothing good will happen if all you do is sit back with the other teachers and gripe? Working in childcare is a lot more than just loving children. You and all of your coworkers are creating a toxic environment for the children and rather than wanting to fix any of it, you'd rather just leave.

By the way, there's a world of difference between an attack and criticism. If I wanted to attack you, I could say all the mean things I'm thinking in my head, but I won't. I'm trying to help you see that what you are doing is wrong.

so unprofessional said...


I did not mean to attack you. I was just expressing my opinion. You are right, I do not know you. I only know what you have told us, which is quite a bit.

"I don't have a problem with the assistant director as a person, just her attitude."

...It seems like you have a problem with her as a person. Her attitude is part of her personality. Get some balls and admit you hate her. It is obvious to everyone who read your original post that you do. Don't back peddle on that one. It only makes you lose validity.

"Children in the center love me."

...I don't doubt it. That has nothing to do with what kind of a job you do. A teaching position in a childcare center is not a babysitting job. Having the kids love you is nice, but it is second to a great deal of other things including safety awareness, classroom management skills, and professionalism. You appear to be lacking in all three.

"So you think that my co-workers who babysit for families outside of the center are unprofessional?"

...Yes. Definitely.

"I don't belong in childcare."

...Actually, it sounds like you don't. There are too many personality conflicts that can occur for the type of person you seem to be. To tell you the truth, you seem as if you don't belong in the work force at all. No offense intended.

"For those of you attacking me: I admit I am wrong for writing this rant."

...No. I don't think you were wrong in writing it. You were only wrong in the way you expected everyone to agree with you and sugarcoat things. You have gotten some excellent advice here.

Grow up, smarten up, and take it.

And good luck with your part time nanny job. lmfao