Should Nanny Just Go with the Flow?

opinion 2 Hi all, I need some advice! I recently left my live-in nanny position for a live-out role. The 3 boys I used to look after now have a new nanny and I have a new position with a beautiful little girl. Whilst I was nannying with the 3 boys, we attended a local playgroup. The youngest C (now 20 months) and I both made great friendships and I vowed to go back with my new charge and C's mum said she would let the new nanny know about the playgroup, in the hope she would take him back too.

Today, H (my new charge) and I went to the playgroup and C and his new nanny were there. It was so great to see him and he came over and gave me big cuddles and was 'chatting' away, it was a great 'reunion' as such. However, when it came time to pack up, or when I walked away with H, C wanted me to pick him up, he wanted to come too. I felt really bad. Not only for C, who was probably really confused, but for his new nanny as well. What do I do? Do I distance myself while we are at playgroup, so that C can form a new relationship with his new nanny? Or do I just go with the flow? After all, it is only once a week that we will be in such close confines with each other. Any advice would be great!!


MojoRising said...

I don't think it's bad to give him love during playgroup. As long as he's not clinging to you pathetically the whole time, I'm sure that it's reassuring to him (and better for his social development) to feel that you still love him and care about him, even though you're no longer with him every day. He is still adjusting to the change of situations, so give it a little time before worrying. He'll start bonding more with his new nanny- you'll still be a loved friend, but it will be more clear for him. Just be sure to always be super positive about him spending time with the new nanny. (Who is hopefully as loving towards him as you are!)

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

I think the best thing to do is keep on going to playgroup, and be sure to talk with and be friendly to the new nanny and your former charge - if he sees that YOU like her, he might warm up to her more quickly.

Also, if he is clingy or asks you for help, lovingly direct him to his new nanny on occasion, and help him learn to go to and count on her for what he needs.

If seeing you seems to make things harder for him at home or with new nanny, you may need to meet with his mom and the new nanny to brainstorm ideas on helping him process the transition.

Truth Seeker said...

You have received some excellent advice above!

I would go w/the flow here. Continue to express affection w/him, and encourage him to bond w/his new Nanny. :)

You must be a great Nanny if he loves you so.

give me a break said...

My advice would be to not be so freaking dramatic about it. Just move on, and the child will too. Be normal around him. It is no insult to the new nanny that he wants you when he sees you: don't flatter yourself. It is normal behavior for a child, and while he may be confused, he will get over it.

What you should not do is make a big deal out if it. Oh wait: too late!

Sheesh. Drama queen.

Megan said...

I tend to disagree with the above statements, but it really depends on what you are leaning towards. How long has his new nanny been with him? I would give him time to bond with his new nanny a bit more and let him realize that she is his new caregiver. However, when you do go to the playgroup, I would definitely still give him the love and attention but also make sure you aren't taking away from your new little one :)

nanny2 said...

I agree with many previous posters. Be friendly towards the new nanny, respect her role as C's new nanny, and continue to be loving toward C. If she's normally caring for 3 kids, she may even come to appreciate a bit of a break while you are engaging C.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Give Me a Break...that was harsh...OP is not being a drama queen at all.

It is only natural for the child to get used to you, and it speaks volumes what an excellent Nanny you were to him! ♥

I would just rave about his new Nanny, but at the same time reinforce how much you love him too! Tell him what a lucky boy he is ...that he has two Nannies who love him so!! §

give me a break said...

I say she's a drama queen.