By Nanny Megan
Different Types of Nannies
*Let me just begin by saying that this post is in no way meant to insult people. It is meant to be funny. I would love to hear what nanny you think you may be. Are you a combination? Parents, what nanny is most like yours?
*Would love to hear if there is one you think I missed.
1. The Money Hungry Nanny
This is the Nanny who see their job as a weekly paycheck. They only get as involved as they have to to make the money. They don’t feel the need to go above and beyond.
2. The Can’t Say No Nanny
This is the Nanny who lets their charge(s) do whatever they want. They are afraid to say no because they don’t want to deal with temper tantrums and/or the sour attitudes. Also referred to as the Yes Nanny.
3. The Crunchy Nanny
This Nanny is all about implementing eco-friendly habits. They are strong advocates of attachment parenting, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, homebirth, natural birth, child led weaning, cloth diapers, baby wearing, organic/whole/local food, sustainable living, homeschooling, no vaccination, informed vaccination, natural remedies, alternative medicine...you get the idea.
4. The Lazy Nanny
This is the sit on your ass all day nanny. They can often be seen hanging out on the outskirts of any given activity. They rarely get involved, and quite often can be caught on their phones. He/she only gets up when they absolutely have to.
5. The Cruise Director Nanny
This is the Nanny who is constantly coming up with new activities. They tend to try something new each day. His/her charges sometimes get overwhelmed with these busy schedules. They also make sure that everyone’s needs are met and that everyone remains calm and happy.
6.The OCD Nanny
This is the “EVERYTHING. MUST. GO. ACCORDING. TO. PLAN.” Nanny. This Nanny becomes easily stressed out when the daily schedule goes off course.
7. The Different Language Nanny
This is the Nanny who has a language barrier with the family she works for. This can sometimes be a good thing, because the children are exposed to different cultures and get they opportunity to pick up another language. Yet, this can sometimes can be difficult because the children may not always understand the nanny and vice versa.
8. The TV Nanny
This is the Nanny who lets the TV do her job for her. Enough said.
9. The Tidy Nanny
This is the nanny who feels that messes should not be made. Everything must stay clean. Including the house, the children, and the nanny.
10. The Surrogate Mom Nanny
This is the nanny who does everything a mom would. They work long hours, they prepare all meals. They put the children to bed and sometimes even wake them up in the morning. They have a very strong bond with the children, and sometimes are mistakenly called mom.
29 comments:
The surrogate mom nanny combo with the cruise director nanny
Crunchy, surrogate, cruise director describes me.
When I am not feeling well (but still come to work because I know how much they need me) I become the lazy, tv nanny. There I said it, so I am not perfect who cares?
I chuckled as I read this as I see myself being a little of the four Nanny-types you just mentioned.
I am the "Money-Hungry" Nanny when I am being overworked and underpaid. When I am unhappy in my job due mostly (!) to money issues, I simply do the bare minimum and do not go beyond and above what I should be. I am only staying because I need the money and these jobs usually last as long as I find a better paying position. I also see myself as the "Can't Say No" Nanny when I am w/children, esp. older ones. I do like to avoid temper tantrums, however my primary reason for not being too strict w/my charge is that if my charge gets mad at me for disciplining him or her, they may tell their parents something bad about me. I.e., I am mean, evil, abusive, etc..and I could be fired on the spot. So I usually give in more times than not. (Not a very wise thing to do, I know, but I am just being completely honest here guys.)
I also see myself as the "T.V. Nanny" only when the parents permit television to be watched by the child. The T.V. comes in handy on rainy days and/or days I am not feeling well or am super tired. Older children can watch videos while I sit nearby and rest. As a mother, I used the T.V. as a "babysitter" whenever I needed to take a shower, make an important phone call, etc...Just a half-hour of T.V. could save my sanity. (Thank you Barney!!) My children are all adults now, but I credit Barney to giving me some much needed "me" time when they were kids. And last, I am the "Tidy" Nanny which is good to a point. I like to leave the house better than when I arrived (dishes washed/toys picked up/laundry if any, folded and put away), since I want the parents to feel relaxed when they come home. However in my current position my charge does not nap and therefore doing any type of household chore can be challenging as he demands a lot of attention since he is an only child. Even if I wash a few dishes, voices his disapproval to me. His parents tell me not to worry about household stuff, they only want me to care for the child, but I just can't leave the house w/dirty dishes in the sink and his toys spread out all over the house. Yes...I know, I have a pretty bad case of OCD.
WOW Well, I was a Money Hungry Nanny because I charged a fortune. But the parents gladly paid it because I was the Tidy Nanny, and the children were clean, fed, and happy, and the LR and kitchen were immaculate.
How about the lazy ass mothers out there?
LOL is there anyone who is going to say they're not the surrogate nanny?
I think I am a Surrogate Mom Nanny, with a touch of OCD and Cruise Director thrown in for good measure.
I think the "Practically Perfect in Every Way" Nanny needs to be on your list.
This nanny is willing and able to go the extra mile on occasion, adores her charges (99% of the time) and her employers (90% of the time), and loves what she does (95% of the time).
She likes to get out of the house regularly, but also is happy to be at home and play. She doesn't use the TV to do her job unless she isn't well, and she doesn't spend all her time on her phone.
She works hard to develop a mutually respectful relationship with her employers, and she is asked to offer her thoughts on the issues that come up with her charges. She also doesn't sulk or whine if her employers choose to go in another direction after she offers her opinion.
She strives to provide her charges with educational experiences, and also recognizes that sometimes kids need to just veg and play.
She's not an extremist, but she is knowledgeable about "crunchy" things and about various other parenting styles and techniques.
Her employers value her, and recognize that she is a super nanny, not a superhuman nanny. They accept that some days will be good, some will be terrific, and a few will not be all that great.
You forgot the best one of all!
The Surrogate Wife Nanny!
This is the Nanny who really does everything the wife does or is not good at!
Surrogate Mom plus OCD plus a bit of Money Hungry (because without money I go hungry :-D) and I can be Crunchy with a Crunchy family, but am not normally.
Tales from the Nanny Hood: I totally see myself as the "Practically Perfect in Every Way" Nanny as what you just said describes me to a T! The percentages you listed were right on!!
I don't think I'm any of those nannies.
I'm a part-time nanny. I engage, but I also know when to step back and watch from the sidelines. I do very little cooking, I do come up with about one new activity a week. My charges watch maximum of 30 minutes of tv on a school day. I am moderately strict with my charges and we've all benefited from it. I am flexible and I only implement one or two of the eco-crunchy nanny characteristics.
I'd have to say I am a definitely a mix between the Tidy Nanny (I like to make sure the house looks really neat for MB when she gets home so she and DB have as much time to enjoy with BB as possible, even though I'm not quite so tidy in my own apartment!), the OCD Nanny (I do like schedules and it does bother me when things don't go according to my plans but hey, such is life babies are unpredictable!), the Cruise Director Nanny (I like to be out and about with the baby as much as possible, new activities are a blast!) and the Surrogate Mom Nanny! (that one only because I develop strong bonds with my little guys and always get mistaken for "mom"-not the long hours or meal preparation though.)
I would say I fall into the category of being the TIDY NANNY. I always make sure the house is clean and tidy at all times (hey, you never know if the parents are going to come home early or not!) and always wipe the face and hands of my charges. I cannot stand to see a dirty child and as soon as we come home from the playground, I get a warm washcloth and wipe the face/hands with warm water (no soap.) Some parents I work for are really particular about the child's face being free of dried snot, food and dirt so I always make this a must before they come home. Personally, unless the child is going out to a fancy dinner or going to get a family picture taken, it shouldn't be an issue whether their faces are dirty or not. Small children hate getting their faces wiped and it can be such a struggle to do so 6x a day. Plus it usually gets dirty right away again anyways. If I were their parents, I wouldn't sweat the small stuff.
How about the "Desperate and Un-employed Nanny?!"
The one who (in this tough economy) spends hours on the computer trying to find a job. She goes on Care, sittercity, craigslist, Nannies4Hire, etc., etc...
She may send out dozens and dozens of e-mails and messages to families looking for a nanny, yet hears nothing back from anyone. She is discouraged beyond belief since it was only three yrs ago that she could find a job within 2 wks. At this point, she would be happy just to get an interview.
Or how about just the "Desperate & Employed Nanny?!"
Again the economy is so weak now and she knows it is a parent's market now so she accepts whatever job she can get in order to pay her bills. The family she works for holds all the cards. It's a power trip for them. They overwork her by making her their nanny/maid/personal asst. so they can get three services for the price of one. They under pay her. Why? Plain & Simple. BECAUSE THEY CAN. They come home late and do not reimburse her for the extra 15 minutes or so even though as each day goes by, the time adds up. They treat her like the "hired help" and spit orders to her all day. I.e., "When the baby naps, please make sure you get all the laundry folded and put away, empty out the dishwasher from last night since I forgot (!) to do it this morning,then re-fill it with the dirty dishes in the sink, let the dog out and if there is any time left over and I am sure there will be, please organize the baby's dresser. Make sure you color coordinate all the clothes which would make it much easier for me to select her outfits. And since you often do this as well, it will benefit you in the long run. Oh, you haven't eaten lunch yet? Oh I don't want you to starve Dear. Oh, feel free to eat your sandwich whenever you have any free time."
I would not classify a nanny who just sees the job as a paycheck "Money Hungry."
It is a job. You can all go around smiling and saying that you love your job, but most people don't.
OP, you are describing, in this category, most people. It doesn't make them bad people or bad at their job. It makes them normal.
Reece, if someone is a "desperate and unemployed nanny" or a "desperate and employed nanny", they need to consider how they can bring something extra to the table that will not only serve the children they wish to care for, but will also benefit the parents they wish to sign their checks.
A nanny who limits herself in the type and number of chores she will do, a nanny who limits herself in the activities she will do, a nanny who places any sort of extensive limits on her availability and willingness to act to make her employers lives easier is a nanny who will take quite some time to find a job these days.
And before you say it, NO, I am not advocating being a doormat who becomes a housekeeper that tries to keep kids entertained while scrubbing floors and windows.
I am advocating being willing to take an extra step and agree to do the grocery shopping (which can also be an amazing learning experience for kids of all ages!), or run an errand, or vacuum the playroom, or sort through kid clothes and store what is outgrown, or make dinner once a week for the family, or...{fill in a chore here}.
Why?
Because most families these days are not using an agency to find a nanny. Heck, most families may not even truly know the actual definition of a nanny, and they believe that at least some light housework is fully acceptable, and there is no agency rep there to tell them differently.
So to market yourself effectively today, you have to bring a terrific package to the table, and for many families that needs to include some help for mom and dad that allows them to spend time with their kids after work, not doing laundry.
Wow...someone must not like what I am saying today as another one of my comments has disappeared from this post. I posted it later yesterday and when I refreshed the page, it was there but I guess someone deleted it.
Anyway, what I had previously written was that I am currently registered with two agencies here in California. I told both owners up front that I only perform child-related household tasks and only if there is any downtime. If the child goes to a play date or takes a dedicated daily nap, then I will wash dishes, sterilize bottles, do the child's laundry, and re-stock diapers/baby wipes on an as needed basis. I also take dirty diaper genies to the dumpster and wipe counters. However I do not run errands or go grocery shopping. I also will not cook dinner for the family once a week. Both of these owners told me that their clients usually do not require any add'l housework aside from picking up after the child and that if they do request housekeeping, it is usually for the tasks I listed. They make sure both family and nanny are on the same page before they schedule an interview. There are also some nannies who drive on the job, which I do, however my stipulation is that I get reimbursed for not only the gas, but the mileage as well since any add'l driving makes for wear and tear on your car. There are some nannies who prefer not to transfer young children due to the liability factor and the agencies understand this.
Tales from the Nanny Hood: Just because I do not want to run to Albertsons with your children or cook dinner for all of you once a week does not mean I am a bad nanny. I just have certain things I feel are not part of my job and since being a nanny is caring for a child, that is my right.
Anyone ever watch, "The Nanny" which was a very popular show in the 90's. Fran NEVER cleaned (they had a separate butler), yet she still was referred to as the "Nanny" and rightfully so.
Reese, "The Nanny" was a TV show. It was not real. It offered a fictional representation of an utterly unqualified woman who stumbled into a job working in a staffed home for a handsome widower with kids. You are starting to sound like Dan Quayle, ranting about how Murphy Brown was going to make women want to be single moms!
(Am I dating myself here, or WHAT? Anyone else know the reference? Anyone? Bueller???)
If, in reality, a nanny of any experience level worked in a staffed home, she would likely not do any dishwasher unloading, cooking, errand running, or slight tidying either, since the other staff would likely have that in their job description(s).
Of course, the logical question to ask here is, "Do you know any nannies who are currently working in a fully (or even partially) staffed household?"
I don't. Never have met a single nanny in that position in the last 17+ years. The nannies I have met tend to be pretty practical folks who don't feel they are too good to take on a few simple chores that make their employers lives easier.
I would LOVE to ask agency owners I know if they would work with a nanny who presented herself as you do, and I would also love to know if they ever get clients who would be willing to hire a nanny with such limits.
FYI, my MB read some of your posts recently and her reaction was this: "Who places limits like that on their work habits? I can't imagine saying something like that to MY boss - you have to go the extra mile sometimes no matter what you do!"
And on the topic of my MB...
I worked 3 hours today. Got off 8 hours early as an unexpected "Happy Long Easter Weekend!" bonus.
I offered right before I left to run to Babies'r'Us to make some needed purchases for BB. MB asked if I was sure I wanted to do that with my time, told me to not spend the time bringing stuff back to the work house today and just bring it with me Monday, and thanked me profusely.
Running that errand took me less than 30 minutes (work) door to (my) door, got some items BB needed, and generated goodwill with my MB.
Did I have to do that? Heck no. Am I glad I did? You bet, because at some point down the road, the positive "energy" I put out there for my employers today will come back to me from them. And that makes going the extra mile worthwhile.
@Tales from the Nanny Hood:
I think you are missing my point here. If you do not mind doing errands for your boss, then that is your choice. There are also other nannies who do not mind running to the store for things for their bosses and again, that is their choice. I personally do not want a job that has me cooking family dinners or running errands and the like. Does that mean I am not worthy of the title, "Nanny?" Well, duh..of course not. It just means that I am a different type of nanny who prefers to only do chores related to the child. My current boss is totally fine with it, she actually prefers I do not do any housework because she wants me to be 100 percent involved and attentive to her child. She wants me to be happy in my position as she knows very well that if I am not, her child will suffer the most. I love my job, and I do believe I go the extra mile for my family in other ways beside running to the market. I teach their child a lot of things I was never asked to, but want to. My charge can do puzzles designed for older kids, she knows her colors/ABC's/123's and can spell three letter words. The parents never told me I had to educate their child, but I do because I want to and even though it is not part of my job duty specifically, I do it anyway. I totally believe in establishing goodwill on both levels, including with the child.
I can't believe your MB thought just because I only do child-related tasks I wasn't a good nanny. All I can say is that I am grateful she is not my boss. I would hate to run to the store for her...I don't know about you, but gas is $4.34/gal where I live.
Reese, I don't understand why everyone is criticizing you. I am a nanny just like you and I only am willing to do chores around the house that are related to my charge. I do not think it is a good idea to do the family dishes or run to the supermarket to get some milk or bread. I used to do this stuff when I started and from my personal experience I have found that many families start off with one thing, then the next time they want you to do something else, then before you know it you are a personal assistant/household manager/maid/chauffeur. I have had families use me as well so now I am much wiser, I state upfront at the first meeting that I am a nanny only meaning I only provide childcare. If there is any free time, I have no problem doing "light housekeeping" but the work has to be child-related ONLY. Many families have respected me for knowing what I want and stating it all upfront and I have not had anyone criticize me for it. I have also never had issues finding good nanny positions in my community.
Reese,
I am the only one that can delete comments on ISYN. It is most likely a glitch and I have no control over that. I found the missing comment in my mailbox and am re-posting it for you.
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Reese has left a new comment on your post " By Nanny Megan Different Types of Nannies *Let m...":
@Tales from the Nanny Hood:
Wow..again here we go again. I state my opinion on ONE blog and now people won't stop holding it against me. Can we just move on already? How do you know that I am having a hard time seeking employment based on the fact that I do not do housework aside from child-related stuff? If you read my post, it stated that I can't even get a response or interview at times. I wrote that because I am trying to stress the fact that times are still very tough in the job market, despite some reports that our economy is rebounding. I don't see it. Jobs are scarce and many families know this and are offering peanuts for nannies. Maybe it depends on area, but in California where I reside, many families are offering only $10 an hour jobs for multiple children because they know people have families to feed and will do anything to stay afloat. I find this inexcusable and refuse to be used in such a manner. You don't see people asking for fifty cent Big Macs at McDonald's and then justifying it by saying, "Oh, but you know the economy is tough now and this is all I can afford."
For the record, I am registered with two agencies in the area and was told by both the owners during my interviews that a nanny is not expected to perform any add'l tasks not related to the child. I personally would not go grocery shopping, cook dinner for the family or do the parent's laundry, and that is my prerogative. Some nannies are willing to do so, others are not. It is a personal choice. I feel it is stupid of you to bash me just because I do not want to cook dinner once a week for the family. If the family wants someone to do this stuff, they need to hire a cook. I only do child-related cooking/meal prep.
Ask any nanny agency. In the contracts they have, their clients usually only expect "light housekeeping" which is usually child-related. A family that requires more usually is advertising for a "Nanny/Housekeeper" which I am not.
Reese, I was responding to your post about nannies seeking new jobs in a general way. I was not directing my comments at you.
And if you are not seeking employment, why are you registering with area agencies?
My MB said the IMPRESSION YOU GIVE OFF here in the posts she read (under infant nanny DITL) is that you are pretty inflexible and she doesn't know how people in any job who are inflexible manage to keep working at that job.
I'm going to lay out my issues with the "you" i have met here on ISYN right now, and hopefully then you will get why I am questiuoning you...
You can say you are a nanny, a giraffe, or the Queen of Sheeba - it matters not to me what you claim to be.
MY issue is that you seem, based on your multiple posts about how difficult it is to manage to unload a dishwasher or do laundry while a child naps, quite a bit overwhelmed with the basic tasks 99% of nannies manage to accomplish on a daily basis.
I believe, after nearly 18 years in this business, that a nanny who wants to stay in her job needs to be capable of more than basic educationbal childcare and resting. And the fact that I am willing to be helpful and STILL MANAGE to EDUCATE and nurture my charges is neither miraculous nor unusual.
YOU, Reese, are the anomaly, with your refusal to do basic chores because then you can't fully concentrate on childcare. Chores ARE educational when shared with a toddler/preschooler/schoolage child. Life involves more than puzzles, letters, numbers, and playgrounds, and my charges manage to have fun and learn no matter whether we are unloading a dishwasher, visiting the aquarium, matching socks fresh from the dryer, playing outside, grocery shopping, or reading a book,
I was about to say I have no idea why your inflexibility bugs me, but that's not true. I think nannies like you make ALL NANNIES seem inept and hapless, and that pisses me off, because I, and the many nannies I know, are in NO WAY like you. We manage beautifully to set our boundaries, be helpful to our employers within reason, and still provide amazing care for our charges. We are the example parents need to think of when they wonder about what a nanny is like, and you annoy me because your posts negatively skew that positive view of nannies.
Would I like to be a delicately natured nanny who does nothing but teeny little kid related chores? Maybe for about a week, then I would be bored out of my mind. That's me, able to strike a balance between accomplishing things and getting recharged through the day.
I guess what it boils down to is that I cannot get into your mindset and fully envision life as you do, and that's not going to change, so I think I'm done posting about questioning your work ethic. There are enough other posters doing that, lol!
Good luck to you - hope you can keep finding jobs that require only what effort you are willing to put out.
In my current position, I care for a child who's family insists I only care for the child. At my initial interview w/them I stated that I wouldn't mind doing certain "light household" tasks if there was any downtime. The parents told me they didn't want me doing any chores since they wanted me to focus on their child the whole time and who was I to argue? In my previous positions, I had chores to do and I was okay w/it at the time. However, I must admit, being a Nanny is 100% more enjoyable for me if my only responsibility is to care for my little charge. I do take the initiative here and there and straighten up the house, wash a few dishes, etc..just because I feel like it is the right thing to do, but I am in no way obligated. Since I start work early in the morning (5:00 AM) and my charge does not usually awake until 8 or 8:30 AM, the parents usually give me a blanket and tell me to go back to sleep since it is so early. I usually try, but have anxiety that my charge will awaken and I will not hear him so I usually watch the Morning National News programs, read, do homework or go on my laptop. I still get paid my regular hourly rate regardless of whether we are playing at the park or I am resting on the sofa. What scares me is that they won't need me this summer, and I will be back to square one. After this "laid-back" job where I only do childcare, it will be hard to go back to having to do chores again (!) I admit, I prefer a job where I get to do my homework during nap time which is one of the reasons I became a Nanny. Being a Nanny is great for students since you can do your homework during nap times. I love my current family and love going to work every day knowing there is not a hamper full of clean clothes I need to fold and put away, or a closet I need to organize. I have enough to do when I get home.
Tales: You stated that 99% of Nannies perform household chores. Yikes...I guess I am definitely in the 1% w/my current job. Can you please tell us readers where you derived your statistic from? Thanks so much.
JMTCJN - I made it up, based on the nannies I know IRL, on-line, and the reports from nannies here and in various books that have interviewed nannies and parents. Maybe...500 nannies total over the last 17+ years???
And I now have "met" Reese (although based on her most recent post on DITL by bostonnanny, I am not sure whether she is a nanny, a nanny employer, or a former nanny employer turned nanny...), who has said in the past that it is too overwhelming for her to manage childcare and minimal chores like laundry and dishwasher loading/unloading, and that she refuses to do such chores at all.
And now I have met you, who, for the moment is not doing chores because the parents told you not to. That's kinda different from refusing to do them up front, and you also say you'll likely be back to doing basic chores when you find a new job. :-)
You know what they say about statistics though, so maybe the true number is slightly lower. 98%? 96.37??
As a mother, I never ask my nannies to do any housework while they are watching my children. I want whoever comes into my home and babysits to focus all of their attention on my precious children with no distractions whatsoever. I also do not want my nanny to get burned out since I know if she does, my children will be the ones who are most affected. Aside from cleaning up toys off the floor and rinsing off any dishes + cups used for children's lunch, I would never ask her to do my children's wash or help me prepare dinner. I want her focus to be on the kids and on the kids ONLY!
It would be unfair to ask my housekeeper to watch my children briefly while I run to the store, or my gardener to paint the garage door, etc. People are only responsible to do the job they are supposed to do and a nanny is someone who comes into the home and provides one-on-one childcare versus a daycare where your child needs to be dropped off/picked up.
The fact that some families expect a nanny to do non-child related cleaning and errands just feeds into the belief that a nanny must do it all or she is not a good nanny. She must be a chauffeur, a nurse, a maid, a teacher and a personal assistant. This is just unfair as other job descriptions usually do not include such a vast majority of titles/job duties. This is part of the reason people see the nanny profession as "beneath" all other professions. A nanny deserves just as much respect as any other position so therefore she is the nanny..not anything else.
p.s. I do not see how ninety nine percent of nannies do household stuff. The agencies I have used have all informed me upfront that a nanny is only responsible for child-related things and if I want her to wash their clothes or load my dishwasher, I would have to request a Nanny/Housekeeper for that which would cost more.
Mother of Six*, I am sure that with that many kids, it would, in fact be difficult to do anything BUT childcare. Not impossible, but difficult.
And I am also sure that agencies let you know that as well.
I think once you hit 4 or more kids, you're paying so much for childcare that most families would rather use any leftover $$ to hire a housekeeper so that their nanny can focus on the kids completely.
But I do wonder how many families with 4+ kids actually HAVE nannies and housekeepers...
Surrogate Mom, Tidy Nanny, OCD Nanny... Oh what a combination! I am employed by a single father so the Surrogate Mom Nanny is natural as I am the female figure in the household... I am a NEAT FREAK so I like everything to have a place and I see that my charge likes things this way also as she ages.... OCD Nanny oh for sure, I have every day planned out and make sure to stay on task as I am not only a nanny but also a student/spouse with my academics and own houshold to tend too while being the best nanny I can be in a single parent household.
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