I babysit a 4 1/2 year old girl full-time Monday-Friday. She is very smart for her age, I can point to any dinosaur in any book and she will say the name of it and what it eats, but I am having a hard time potty training her. When I interviewed with the family, I wan under the assumption that she was almost fully potty trained. This was not the case at all, the first day I started watching her I noticed her pants were very bulky so I asked the dad if she wore pull-ups and he informed that she did and that he forgot to tell me. The first few weeks were a struggle, I had to teach her how to pull down her pants, pull up her pants, wipe, flush the toilet and wash her hands. I have a feeling her dad does it all for her, I refuse to, I am all for helping her but I am not going to do it all. She will be starting kindergarten soon so she has to learn how to do it on her own.
She goes through a couple pull-ups a day, for the most part she will not tell me when she has to go and she will not tell me when she goes in her pants she will just sit in it. When I ask her if she went in her pants she tells me nope. Occasionally she does tell me when she has to go, so I know that she knows how to go on her own and I really think it is just a power struggle/her being lazy. The other day she told me she had to go pee so I said ok go in the potty, she walks into the bathroom and comes out a minute later and says "no thank you, I'll just go in my pants."
I have tried reminding her to go and asking her to go sit on the potty every 45mins to an hour, but that's not working either as soon as she gets off she goes in her pants. When I asked the dad what he does at home and what he would like me to do when she goes in her pants he told me to tell her to "try better next time." There is no consequences and she knows this and continues to go in her pants.
The past 2 days the dad has brought her in underwear, yesterday she peed all over my floor and didn't say a word, until I almost stepped on it. Today she pooped all over and again didn't say a word, I found out because she went on the potty and it was all over her back, the toilet and floor. I don't get any response from the dad and I have a feeling he is not working with her at home. I am 100% willing to work with him on potty training, however I will not do it for him, it has to be 50/50.
I don't know what to do, I feel like if he is not being consistent at home, there is no reason why I should continue to potty train her here. I have been doing some research on this and most of the advice I have read says to stop potty training and let the child know that they are responsible for their body and when they go in their pants don't make a fuss about it, just have them clean it up. I am considering doing this. I don't know what else to do. Has anyone had this problem? Any advice? Help is appreciated!