Hello, i have just stumbled across this forum and i feel like its a blessing!! Let me explain my situation, I am 24 and have currently been nannying for my currently family for 6months. The family is based in spain but are english-as i am. I started working for the family 6months ago, mum was 8 months pregnant and also has a 2year old daughter, for the first month i cared for the little girl in the house in england - with mum and grandma around. At first i noticed a few unusaul things that i hadn't encountered before, the little girl walks around on her tip toes all the time and when she has to walk flat footed she stumbles, i brought it up with mum who replied "Thats just how she walks". On my 3rd day i was told that the only way the child napped is if she was walked around in circles in her buggy- i tried this and sometimes it would work, but often took up to an hour of me walking in circles. When it didn't work i was told to put her in front of the tv in her buggy. This child spent and still does most of the day in front of the television watching mickey mouse or special agent oso.
So after the baby was born we went over to spain. I work 7days a week 12 hours a day. I do this so that whenever we are back in england I can have the time off. Since we have returned the childs behavior has got worse. She is now 27 months old and does not speak a word. She screams and shout's at everything, if the wrong tv channel is on she screams (i dont mean a scream i mean blood curdling - makes me jump scream!) if you say no she screams if u cannot guess what she wants she screams. She makes no attempt to speak at all. She is still in a cot, and mum constantly picks her up, she also cannot walk upstairs unaided. She goes to nursey mon-friday 10-3 and i have witnessed the same behavior there. She refuses breakfast - (as at nursey she is given biscuits) she refuses dinner, mum or myself constantly make different things, with mum sometimes offering her 10 different things, most of which she just throws on the floor then screams. She still sits in a high chair and does not look away from the tv at all. She never really plays alone - and if she does it's very rare. Mum does EVERYTHING she wants, if the child pulls her clothes no matter watch she's doing she goes with her, she is ruled by a 2 year old. We only ever leave the house with her at the weekend and go somewhere for "an hour" as mum is obviously embarrased at her behavior, and after an hour mum is bored and so is the child.
For the first month after we arrived in spain i still walked the child for an hour in attempt to get her to nap. In the end i started to refuse. I told mum i felt that by me walking her and when she didnt sleep her being put in front of the tv - that that was rewarding her behavior. Mum just said ok. A prime example of bad behavior from today. This morning i was getting her ready for nursey - whilst attempting to put her shoes on, she kicked me so hard it snapped my nail clean off - i told mum to which she replied, that must of hurt?! She refused to eat her dinner and continued to scream and shout, she kicked and bit mum and was just told - no. Not in a firm voice, just no. Which she ignored! The baby - who is now 5 months is not trouble at all - he is good - he naps well, he still doesn't sleep through the night but is all round a good baby, but he is disturbed by his sister - i often worry he is going to have heart failiure as he jumps out his skin everytime she shouts. The girl has nothing to do with the baby - to her he isn't there, if mum is holding him she grabs at him untill he is handed back to me. All in all i am in a right mess - i think the 2 year old may have a problem, the shouting/screaming/lack of interaction suggests to me she maybe slightly autistic, but i could never suggest this to mum!! Mum believes that she is just a bit difficult - thats all. She even told me she's not going to bother saying NO untill she can understand it?! So i'm here for advice, before i sink. It's getting to the point where i am upset every day and i simply do not know what to do - i am so un happy, and i am mainly only staying for the money and the baby. And i promised myself i would attempt a year. Oh and if you were wondering where dad is -he's on a golf course somewhere and has nothing to do with the children - he interacts sometimes for 10 mins max! All advice would be wonderfully received. Thank You.
I am trying to be as sensitive as possible with the OP's Submission. I felt it was important to add in the Title that this child might possibly be Autistic as that is what the OP believes. I know there are some Readers here that have experience with Autistic children so I wanted to make sure they saw this post. Thank you, MPP.