Thursday

My Main Priority: Keeping the 14mo Away From Mommy

opinion 2 I work in an office (it isn't so much a nanny share situation though). I am in charge of 3 children while 2 moms work. My main priority is keeping the 14th month old away from mommy. The 2 older children are 3 and 5. We have a playroom in the back to keep them entertained. My only problem is that the two older girls love to keep that door open and keep running out (for potty or a juice cup). It isn't a problem except whenever the door is open the 14 month old cries (screeches) and tries to run into mommys office. Originally they had a gate. It was my idea to just close the door so the 14 month old charge doesn't see mommy. Now that the door is closed whenever it is closed she is happy. I asked the mommies if I could lock the door and they said yes and we would use baby monitors - that never happened. I am at a loss on how to handle the situation. I am considering sticking a sock into the door to get it harder to open for the 2 older charges. Help?!?

18 comments:

Village said...

You are an adult. Close the door. I don't see the problem.

Rocket Scientist said...

I agree with Village. Tell the older 2 kids that they have to ask to leave the room, and then limit their comings and goings. Unless the parents don't want you telling them "no", which is a whole other bag of worms.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Ugh!! This set-up is exactly why I cannot work for parents who are nearby when I am on duty. I think it is an added burden for the Nanny to keep the child away from the working parent. I would approach the parents and just tell them what you just told us. Explain how the 14 mos old child gets upset when she sees her mom and stress that it is difficult calming her down when she gets that way. Ask them if they have any suggestions. I think limiting the coming and goings of the older two is an ideal situation, but with younger kiddos sometimes they do have to visit the potty often and it wouldn't be wise to place limitations on bathroom privileges.

It sounds like a dicey situation and I think it is partially the parent's responsibility to suggest something you can do. If they act like it is no big deal, I would move on.....

It's nice to have you back MPP by the way. :) Welcome back!!~

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Also since the mothers said they would get a lock for the door and baby monitors, I would remind them. Perhaps they simply forgot or didn't think it was THAT important. Maybe they just need a little nudge.

Good Luck OP. I sure do not envy your situation as I have been there many many times.

Bostonnanny said...

Go to target and buy a child safety lock and put it on the door, then ask the parents to reimburse you.
Problem solved.

Also depending on how many hours you work with the children, I'd ask to take out for a walk or to an activity. Being cooped up in an office/ playroom all day isn't healthy for you or the children.

OP here said...

Hi all OP here. Thanks so much for all your advice. The moms told me to let the 2 children out as they please as long as they are quiet. If I don't let the children out they scream on top of their lungs and cry for mommy as if I am hurting them. I am only there 8 hours a week (as I have another position I just recieved for 35 hours a week because the mommies own the buisness) so it was a good position to hold me over. I do not want to just simply quit on them.

Both mommies and the dad KNOW what sets off the 14 year old they just simply, I feel, don't care and act like its my problem- as long as they can work through the day.

I am due to go there today- I'll see how today goes. I'll try a sock in the door trick because I FEEL like if I buy a lock I won't get re-imbersed.

OP said...

sorry I ment 14 month old*

Texas Nanny said...

I've been working for a work-from-home mom since my oldest charge was 11 months. When I first started, we closed MB's door and I would move/remove him every time he tried to get to her. When she would come out, he would lose it every time seeing her.

After a couple months, when he was used to me, we stopped shutting the door. Now we just leave MB's office open. He wanders back there once or twice a day for a "visit", and she comes in and out of the rest of the house as she wishes, and he doesn't freak out at all anymore.

Mommy is no longer locked away or forbidden, she's just there. She's accessible, and that makes it not such a big deal when she's around. Now she can work in the living room or back yard with us if she wants to and the kiddo will leave her laptop alone, and when she goes back to her office he barely even notices.

OP said...

I almost forgot to mention going outside for a walk is a no go because there are no parks around its filled with Mini mart and liquor stores.

I have only been here for a month- I am thinking everyones still testing my limits

Wow said...

Why can't you just care for them at their house? It sounds like they don't trust you. Since you have a full-time job now, just stay as long as you can tolerate it and give notice and leave when you can't take it anymore.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

OP, that is sad that they think it is more of "your" problem than theirs. This isn't a very healthy thing in a Nanny/Parent relationship as it seems the parents are more concerned with themselves than the well-being and general overall happiness of their young children. As a parent, I would want my Nanny to always be 100% content in her job and would want to make her job as easy and comfortable as I could. In doing this, I would ensure that my children were being properly cared for.

Since you now have a full-time job and this job isn't even part-time, I would give notice and leave like @wow just said. Don't stay because of guilt...they obviously do not seem like they care about your feelings one way or another so why should you stay just because you do not want them to be down and out?

Mary L. said...

If they really are running a small daycare in their office, they should replace the door with one that is split across the middle and locks...grownups can see in but kids can't get out

op said...

WOW- I can't care for them at their house- they live in south Jersey and their office is in North Jersey its about an hour and a half commute.
Anyways today went very well. I don't know why it went well but no one ran out today! I guess some days are good other days are bad but this was the best day ever with them.
Something tells me everyone took a nap in the car today before they arrived

vegasgrrl24 said...

It sounds like you're in a pickle really. I have been dealing w/ something similar and I just try to keep the baby engaged/engrossed in something she loves till she forgets about MB, for a little while.

You might find more support from Nannies in a forum that is meant for it. Local Nanny email lists, facebook groups or Nannyisland.

Good Luck.

Fresca said...

Why should parents make a job as "easy" as possible? What employer does that? Granted, employers, and remember that is what they are, shouldn't throw boulders in an employee's way. However, it is never an employer's job to make it as EASY as possible for an employee. Grow up or join the real world!

fresca schmesca said...

Fresca,

sounds to me like OP is trying to make the situation easier on the children too. True that an employer should not have a vested interest in making as little work for their employee as possible: this is not OP's case. These employers are failing to provide a positive situation for the nanny and for the children.

A good employer wants to make a happy, healthy work environment as well as an efficient one. That is part of their job. Obviously the employers here are hindering all of those things in OPs situation.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

@Fresca:
You must be having a bad day...or are you just a bitter person in general. Now in the Nanny profession, it is vital to want the Nanny to be as content + comfortable as possible? Why so? Because if she is, then the children will be the ones who benefit the most from her. I personally believe as a parent, you should do what you can in your power to ensure a happy Nanny. I wouldn't want someone watching my children if they were unhappy doing so. I would be afraid that my children would be negatively affected.

Why don't you get a clue?? This is a Nanny website and addresses certain issues unique to a Nanny's work environment that don't necessarily apply to the corporate world.

For your information, I am part of the real world, I believe. I mean, I do not have antennas coming out of my head and I pay taxes...how much more real can I get??????????????????

just one suggestion said...

OP- I would try to make it into a game for the older kids- turn into some kind of "adventure" where they have to sneak out through one tiny crack in the door because (insert your creative reason here), and can only go one at a time. Also, position yourself between the baby and the door, and if he cries for mommy, just say "We'll see Mommy soon!" in a cheery voice, and redirect to another activity.