Too Much Work for a Live Out Nanny

opinion 1 How do I tell my family I think they need a live in nanny? I work 55+ hours a weekend and extended weekdays with very little notice (55 is my bare minimum work week) and do the majority of the household work. I really think this family requires a live in or maybe an Au Pair. I am giving my notice Monday seeing as I feel life is worth living and not worth being cooped up all day in a bedroom with kids (I feel trapped). So how do I tell them that I think this is not only too much work for me but also too much work for anyone who has so much as a hobby outside of being a nanny (I have no life).


Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

This family needs 2 nannies, not a LI or an Au Pair (who can legally work only 45 hours a week). A FT nanny to work maybe 50 hours/week, and a PT nanny to work the other 20 or so hours.

When you give notice you could suggest this idea to them, and show them how many hours you have worked each week on paper. Tell them that burn-out is bad for nannies, and horrid for their charges, because so many times nannies just quit, and then the kids wind up in a revolving door situation.

nycmom said...

I completely agree with Tales. I always limit my nanny's regular work week hours to 45-48 hours (50 is the absolute max). Above that, if I need extra help, I offer some to her as a courtesy, but also have a couple of other sitters I use to ensure she is not overworked.

I have had definite periods of time (year after my 3rd child was born and juggling long school commute for older kids), where I needed a lot of hours. I hired a second nanny for pt and, in past, have had an au pair (not recommended!) in addition to regular nanny. I think avoiding fatigue is a key issue in enabling a nanny to do a good job.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

OP, you think being a nanny is a hobby?!! That is very kind of you.
Anyway, this family needs to realize that by working you 55+ hrs per wk, they are causing you to burn out. You are not only caring for the children which is a huge responsibility in itself, you are also managing the household chores which is another major responsibility. Yikes!! They couldn't pay me enough.
I don't think an au pair is the solution here. What they need it two separate nannies who will work 25-30 hrs per wk plus a housekeeper/maid on the side. If they have two nannies who are only working part-time, this can avoid nanny burn-out and the children will benefit from it. Also, if they have a housekeeper, then the nannies do not have to be distracted about household chores and can be better nannies to the children.
You can suggest this to them, however they probably will think you are giving unsolicited advice. I would just give notice and quit. Even though my suggestion of two nannies and a maid is ideal, realistically with you doing everything, they are saving a huge amount of dough.

slb3334 said...

Two cents, I think the OP meant you couldn't have a hobby outside of your job with the family. I agree that they need more than one nanny, though.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Oh thanks for the clarification slb. Being a nanny could be a hobby for some...I call it my "hobby job" since I also work as a barista. LOL.


I would leave! Parents like this just plain don't care, are cheap and selfish. I was a live in m-f and ended up working 14 hr days! They thought because the kids were asleep at 7 any hours after that didn't count! Even if you live in someones house you should not work these hours! In all my years as a nanny this was the worst job I ever had. I will never understand why some people have kids.Throughout all my nanny years I realized that most of these women were not motherly. This last job made me realize what a lucky kid I was, I grew up in a little apartment but my mom was always there when I got off the bus and I have a lot of nice memories of her and my sisters doing stuff together. Oh well I guess these kids are lucky they got to grow up in a big house and are being raised by strangers.

OP said...

OP here...its not just that this is MY work week but this is THEIR work week...they are at work every hour of all of this. I really think I need help... but then I become concerned about conflicting with another nanny and then I just forget the idea

been there said...

OP- would you be happy in this job if you were just working fewer hours? If so, then I would definitely bring up to them getting a second nanny. Many college students look for part-time work and would be happy to take evening or weekend hours to fit around their class or internship schedules. If you offer to train the new nanny, then you'll be able to show her the ropes and it's more likely you'll get along (although you'd be working different shifts, so it wouldn't be that bad).

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

OP..anyone in your shoes would be burnt out. I am burned out just reading your story Girl!! You work many hours, clean the house and from the sound of do not get to leave the house!!!
Either ask for less hours and advise them to hire a second Nanny or give your notice tomorrow like you stated (Monday). If you continue with the way things are now, you will die. Really die. You are a human being..not a damn robot.

talesfromthe(nanny)hood said...

OP, I don't see how having a second nanny would cause conflict, since in order for you to work fewer hours, new nanny would be there when you were NOT working.

If you don't really want to leave, ask your employers to consider hiring another nanny to take on any hours over the number you want to work each week. You can train then new nanny, and then she will come in, and you will get to go home.

I would ask for help and give a deadline as to when they need to have someone in place. "Bosses, I love this job, but I am feeling very burned out. I would be happier and better for your kids if you hired a 2nd nanny to work X hours/week. How can I help you make this happen? What sort of hiring deadline can we put in place so I can know that by that specific date, I will be training your new PT nanny?"

Wow said...

In NYC there are many families that hire their nannies for 24 hrs/day 5 and 6 days a week. And the moms are often just socialites! I interviewed for a job that was for 24/5 with 6 m.o. twins, and they only paid $250/day. They also expected the nanny to travel extensively, including holidays. That wasn't the job for me!

There was also a job that was 24/6 with 5 m.o. twins. That job paid $170,000/yr with extensive travel and 6 months home base in NYC and 6months in Europe.

Can you imagine the burn-out in those jobs? Talk about giving up your life! Friends have said that it's not really 24 hrs. a day b/c the babies sleep. But we know that baby's sleep schedules change. And twins wake each other up. I'm not interested in being with other ppls babies all day AND up with them at night, while the parents get a good night sleep.

I echo the title of another post,"Why do some people have children?" But it gave me a glimpse into the other end of the expectations spectrum of some families.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Wow..for $250/day I would!

Nanny of One said...

I am in a similar situation I am scheduled to work 50/hrs a week, and I work for a single parent (Father). Although there is housekeeping coming in bi-weekly I have all of the responsibliies as a mother. Cooking all dinners/lunches/snacks, driving around, laundry for child and adult, groceries, tidying-up, changing beds, organizing, buying clothing etc.
I also go to school (doing a second degree through online education) and live-out so I have my own apartment with my boyfriend.
I love the child I nanny for, but at times I feel that during the week my life is taken over my by nanny position leaving room for little else.

Any Suggestions?

Ps. I nanny one child toddler age.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Nanny of would all depend on how much dough you are raking in. You do a lot of work and the hours are a lot as well. I would only do it if I were making serious cash money. How much do you make? If you feel you are being underpaid & overworked, I would talk to your boss and try to get a raise. If he refuses, by all means find another job w/less hours and less household duties.

Wow said...

Just My Two Cents Just Now:

Think about it. Divide that up. $250 a day is $10.41/hr for a set of infant twins. 24hrs a day. You can't leave the house unless you have them with you. You would be out of the country during many holidays - working.

Also, in NYC, a live-in nanny who works over 44 hours a week is entitled to time and a half overtime. That's part of a law that was put into effect in November 2010, and violating it is punishable with a fine. There's no overtime built into that $250/day. (Goggle Domestic Workers United website.)

$250/day sounds like a lot, but count the costs. Most of us are not accustomed to working and calculating 24 hrs/day, 5 days a week, week in and week out. And NYC is a major metropolitian area that commands one of the highest paying salaries in the country. Salary range is between $45,000 - $90,000/yr.

They were also hiring a weekend nanny. Now, I would be willing to work a 24hr/day weekend shift, but $250 a day still would not be enough.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Wow...I live all the way on the East Coast, California to be specific so maybe rates vary a lot from coast to coast.
I know $10 per hour does not sound like much when you think about it on an hourly basis, but during those 24 hrs don't you get to sleep and don't the twins sleep at least for half of that?
I agree the family should be in compliance with the law that went into effect in November. I remember seeing it on the News and thinking to myself, "Finally....nannies are getting the same rights as any other working class citizen." However, if you are being paid off the books, the law may skip over you altogether. :(

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

Nanny of One, that is a lot to have on your plate!

Do you often work more than 50 hours a week?

Do you think your DB would be willing to have the cleaners come every week if that would lighten your load a bit?

Nanny of One said...

Hey Ladies.
Thanks for your response. I am booked to work 50/hrs a week however I acutally work around 47 ish. However, all of the household tasks are definatley adding up. I feel like a never ending laundry, cooking machine. Somehow I am doing all of this and still getting A's in school howevet at some point buring the candle at both ends is going to catch up with me.
Ps. I do make great money, just under $3,000 CND a month but still there is helping around the house and being the only person doing anything around the house. The DB could really care-a-less if i did anything around the house at all, however, I do it as if I didn't it simply wouldn't get done.