Received Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I may get blasted for this because I know how many times I've read about how important it is to be professional, that we, as nannies, are not family, etc. let me preface this by saying that I am being very professional at the business end, being considerate and committed to very clear communication as I plan to leave my current position. I have given notice verbally and followed it up in writing. I have also given my employers excellent lead time to find my replacement. I told them before the holidays that I would be leaving and moving back to my home state mid-March. Following the holidays (in January) we sat down on a Saturday afternoon for a meeting to check in and be clear with one another. Lot's of tears, but a good meeting. So all of this is going smoothly. Since that meeting the parents have been interviewing and trying out new nannies on the weekend. They told me that they had a conversation finally, and realized that they just needed to lower their expectations because they weren't going to find another me. So, there is no animosity on the adult level at all.
My extreme difficulty lies in leaving the children. I met them when they were 3 weeks old, and began working for the family when they were almost 2 months. I care for a boy and a girl (twins) who are now 17 months. I am with them 12 hours per day, Monday through Thursday. I provide their total daily care (from getting them up in the morning until they have had dinner, are bathed and ready for their parents to put them down for the night.) I love them like my own grandchildren, and these feelings are reciprocated in their every gesture, smile, hug, laugh. We have great days together! I wouldn't even be thinking of leaving except that my mother is very old and needing my care back in California.
So, my question is for those of you who have been in my position. I literally get sick to my stomach and cry when I'm at home at night and on the weekends and I think about leaving the babies. I know that they are going to wonder what happened to me, and that they are at an age too young for reason. I feel as if I am abandoning them. I have even considered not going, but that is not an option for my own family. So... does anyone have any suggestions as to how this can be done in the easiest way for the children? And also are there any suggestions about how you have kept in touch in a healthy way with past families? Because I will be all the way across the country this seems challenging. Thanks in advance for any suggestions you may have.