Received Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm in a little dilemma : I am 7 1/2 months pregnant with my first child due early in April. I have been a nanny for my family for almost 6 years and we have a good relationship. I disclosed my pregnancy at 3 months and they seemed happy and excited.
For the last few months, my husband was out of a job and it was the mutual understanding of the family and I that, should he still be without work by the time the baby comes, he would stay at home and I would go back to work for them. Well, my husband just started a great new job. He was offered a much higher salary than we had anticipated, meaning that I now have the option of staying at home with my baby for at least 3 to 6 months. This is definitely what I would like to do. But how do I tell the parents? My husband has told mom boss already about his new job and that I would now be able to stay home for a while, but mom boss does not know how long.
She took me aside last week and stood me in front of a calendar where she pretty much told me that she has coverage worked out for 1 month and that she knows that I will be back after that anyways! She doesn't seem to even think about the logistics of all of that. They have 2 kids and my car is already crammed with their car seats ... adding another infant seat to the mix will be almost impossible. Also, the two kids go to daycare ... all the germs they bring home might affect my baby's health! He would only be 1 month old when she wants me to return back to work!
Also, I feel it is not fair to my baby or their kids if I return that early ... on one hand, I want to make sure that my child is taken care of first (after all he is an infant), on the other hand I get paid to take care of their children. What do I do if my child cries and wants attention, but the two others want the same? What do I do if we are out running around playing and all of the sudden my child needs to breastfeed (I am planning on breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months)?
In addition, summer vacation starts in June and the kids will want to go on outings every day. I cannot imagine taking my then 2 month old to outings all the time, having to breastfeed, changing him, etc in addition to watching two very active kids. I need advice on how and when i tell them that i will not be available until after the summer vacation. I surely understand that they might want to hire someone else long-term (instead of just a summer nanny) and that i will loose my job. That is not a problem, as i will continue staying in contact with them and the kids. I want to give them as much time as possible to find a replacement, but I don't want them to resent me for my decision and make the last couple months of work miserable for me (I doubt they would do that, but i have heard many stories where it happened).