Thursday

Happy Mother's Day

Received Thursday, May 6, 2010
a day in the life on I SAW YOUR NANNY Dear Nanny,
For mother's day, I have written this letter for you. No, I have written this letter for you and I and for all we are and all we want to be. Nanny, you take both children to preschool and two and a half hours later, you pick them both up. You spend the time before school running through the Woods with the children or teaching them sounds, words, letters and manners. You spend the time while the children are in school dutifully organizing their rooms and play room, shopping for nutritious foods, selecting their outfit for the next day, laying out their bedding and keeping their laundry clean and pressed. You spend the time after school playing in the park, trekking to Museums or building clay pots, making dinner, serving dinner, cleaning the children up after dinner and their eating area and bathing them. Nanny it is you that puts them in their new pajamas, cleans their ears and cuts their nails. It is you that reads to them upon request, plays leap frog and jumps puddles with them. It is you that dresses them in the morning and feeds them their first meal. You give them their vitamins and make their beds. You plan their days. You are the nanny...

I however am the mother. And despite your deadliest intentions, I am the one my children crave every hour on the hour. When you show up to pick them up from school, their faces fall to the floor. It is me they want to see, me they want to dazzle with tales from the day and they want to spend their afternoons dancing and having tea parties with. And dinner, you think they want to have dinner with you? They want me. Every time you are with them doing your designated duties, my children are wanting and wishing for me.

So don't think for one second that my children are going to going to glue pink, puffy hearts on corrugated paper for you this Sunday. Don't expect a phone call, an American greeting or a flower arrangement. I am the mother of these children.

42 comments:

djembé said...

"Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. It is inscribed on hearts and there it shall remain forever."

Enjoy your paper hearts.

The Un-Mother said...

What a horrible and hateful thing to think and even worse to post to a public board! I hope your nanny sees this and quits-because from the sound of it she is a wonderful nanny and will have no trouble finding a new job.

You sound jealous to me and it's your own fault she is there and you are not. I understand people have to work, but you could feed your children dinner, cut their nails, put their pj's on them and MANY of the things you mentioned.

Just remember even the most abused children love and crave attention from their parents. IT is not a testament to your mothering that they want to be with you. I think you should be thanking your lucky stars they crave your attention and if you keep letting someone else raise your children the way it sounds like you are then it won't be long before they stop reaching for you because they will realize you are a mother in name only.

You are sad and I feel sorry for you but even more so for your children because they deserve a mother and not someone who is getting PAID to care for them. And if your nanny really does as much as you say and does a wonderful job you should be thanking your lucky stars your children have a loving person in their lives. You need to get over your jealousy that your nanny is getting to do your job. YOU hired HER, she didn't come into your life to steal your childrens love away from you....she is doing a JOB-YOUR job and it sounds to me like she is doing it a whole lot better than you are.

Ariel-chan said...

Unless there is some serious Hand That Rocks the Crandle $h1t going on in your home, I doubt your nanny has any sort of deadly intentions in regards to your children other than maybe wishing she were dead whenever she has to deal with her psychotic boss.

Nervous Nanny said...

Wow, that turned nasty unexpectedly. I at first thought it was a nice sentiment thanking the nanny for "mothering", but ohmygod does this woman have issues. I feel sorry for you OP if you are so insecure about your position as mother and your children's love for you that you feel the need to defend it and attack your wonderful nanny. And you even recognize that she is a wonderful nanny.

Nanny, if you read this-you need to escape. This woman is deranged.

I would be so freaked if my boss said anything like this to me, and it is scary that this person posts this in a public forum...

NVMom said...

Wow, unless this is a troll, this is sick. I'm a Mom and I wouldn't even think this way, much less write it.

Weired out Nanny said...

I agree..I thought this was going to be a nice sentiment to a wonderful Nanny, until I got to the last paragraphs. Clearly this woman is super jealous of her Nanny and thinks her Nanny must have an ulterior motive for doing what she does. This lady has a wonderful Nanny and instead of being spiteful and full of envy for her, she should thank her lucky stars that she has such a great provider who takes wonderful care of her children while she cannot. Don't hate the player...hate the game deranged Mother....it's a catch-22...if you have to work and have a Nanny, then why hate on the Nanny? Hate on yourself if you feel such guilt for having to leave your children. Many parents do it every day and thank goodness they don't have your attitude. Again, it's a catch-22...you have a good Nanny and you resent her, if you had a terrible one..then what??!
I feel for your Nanny, do the right thing...let her go and find a nice family that deserves her kindness since you obviously don't.

world's best nanny said...

Ouch!
That's okay mean, mean mommy, I have my own kids! And guess what? Your kids picked me a bunch of violets in the woods the other day and gave them to me for mothers day! They love it when I do their nails because a I use a nail buffer and the love how shiny they look. They laugh when I try to fit into their jammies, while you just help them. Take an anti jealous pill or get some therapy!

Katlee85 said...

Wow,

Talk about insecure and jealous.

maryjanepoppins said...

You are a horrible employer and should have your rights taken away to allow anyone to work for you. I have seen a lot of crazy stories on this site but this one is by far the most fucked up and pitiful. Do you have such severe insecurities with yourself that you must attack your nanny? you make her seem like such a good and caring person. If this is the type of treatment you show your children, they are going to grow up to be way more fucked up in the head then you are.

maryjanepoppins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Momkat said...

YES! You are absolutely positively correct. You're the mom. So, why in the world are you having your nanny watch your kids, and caring for them from the moment they wake up, through breakfast, through the entire day, through dinner, and through bath and bedtime. Yes they want to be with you! So, be around. Most people don't use a nanny to watch their children every waking minute. Have breakfast with your kids before you leave for the day, come home in time for dinner, play a game with your children after dinner or take a walk together, give them a bath, and read books to them before you tuck them in at night! Oh honey, if you're not doing anything with your kids during the day--you're neglecting them, big time! And here's a news flash for you, you're not going to get even one second of that time with your kids back. It doesn't matter who they want to be with. They're with that nanny too darn much...and you dearest mommy, are MISSING THEIR ENTIRE LIVES! Change your ways now, or you'll regret it.

MissMannah said...

Is this for real?? If so, this woman needs to have her head examined! But...I have a sneaking suspicion that the letter might have been written by a bitter nanny who is sick of doing all the mothering duties and never getting acknowledged for anything.

bippityboppityboo said...

Keep kidding yourself. Kids love who theyre with. You might be their mother but forget it if you think they want you when they see their nanny who does everything for them.

monkeyshines said...

this mom needs to quit her job, when her kids are grown looking back on their childhood they will have memories of their nanny not of their mother

xfileluv said...

Love how the mother knows that the kids' faces fall when Nanny picks them up, that the kids yearn for Mommy every hour, on the hour, etc. There is no way the mother would know this, because she is never there! Mom, you are correct, your children are always going to love you. However, that doesn't mean that the day won't come when they realize they don't LIKE you. It will be here sooner than you realize, in your case.

lynn said...

This was obviously written by a nanny trying to stir the pot, come on people. At least half of the posts on here are nannies complaining about their employer (with just cause in many cases) - this is just another stab at a mom with nanny.

CanadianMom said...

I agree with Lynn, I don't think this was written by the mother. I think it is a nanny trying to make the point that the mother is not spending enough time with her kids, who love her unconditionally and clearly need more of her in their lives.

virginia said...

Anonymity allows people to express their deepest feelings. I think that a lot of mom's have resentments towards nannies who think they should get a mother's day card.

Janet English said...

Dear "mom", while you had the opportunity to tear your cooch a part and aquiring the stretch marks from carrying the children. Nanny has the priveledge to hold them, laugh with them while reading books, get hugs, wipe the tears and be the real mom. The sad part is you think they want you but to the children nanny is the mom. It's her they hug first, it's her they reach out to when they fall and need a hug. It's her they love and miss. It's her they want. And so you will get the meaningless pink, puffy hearts on corrugated paper this Sunday which they couldn't care about less except for the hug nanny will give them for their artistic achievement. And she'll get the love and hugs on Monday.

What?! said...

Well, hello, Mrs. X

how horriblw!! said...

Honestly, how rude is this? How do you know what your children are thinking? That they are wanting you? Your nanny is the one that (from what YOU said) does absolutely EVERYTHING with them. It seems like you can't (don't) do a think with them.

Now, yes you ARE the mother, but from this letter it seems like you are the mother in blood only... everything else is done by the nanny. You are obviously jealous that they are (obviously) very attached to their nanny.

Now, I actually do agree with you that the nanny shouldn't get anything for mother's day and most nannies don't. But I also don't think they expect to. But for you to write such a rude and heartless letter is horrible. I feel bad for your children because they are obviously craving attention from you that they are not getting. Shame on you for even writing this. Start taking care of your own children if you expect so much for mother's day!

ericsmom said...

Nervous Nanny

I thought the same. Oh what a nice letter. Until I started reading the second paragraph.

This mom should be ashamed of herself. Lazy piece of crap that she is. She can't even bother cutting her own childrens nails! Pretty sad. Sounds like the nanny puts them to bed too. Does she spend anytime with them?

Well what goes around comes around. When she is old and helpless. I am sure she will be shipped off to a nursing home.

ericsmom said...

yes I know I have grammar errors!!

NannyM said...

I'm pretty sure you should have stopped after the first paragraph and said 'thank you for helping me be a better mom'. Now, what we don't see here is the nanny's side. Is she possessive? Is she trying to tell the kids that she loves them more than the mother (in words, not actions)? We don't know.

The only way I think the second paragraph is warranted is if the nanny is verbally telling the children that she loves them more than you and that you are a bad mother. In that case, she doesn't need a letter, she needs to be let go!

I seriously hope this was just a way to get your frustrations out and that this does not come out of your mouth or on paper!

dlfgjhj said...

I agree that it's a nanny making a point about a mom.

a beloved nanny said...

To see something so spiteful and full of sadness made me want to cry. I am praying this is a troll, but in the case that it isn't, I feel sorry for you mom. It is obvious that you feel slighted by your nanny. And as you said, you are the mother. So, why don't YOU take care of them. You assume that they want you, which I am sure in some cases they do. However, children also form a bond with their nanny and love them for being their nanny.

No one is going to replace you as their mother. But seeing as you have the nanny do EVERYTHING that you should be doing (and she seems to be doing it very well)it appears that you feel that she is replacing you.

Rather than being such a bitch, why don't you commend her for doing such a good job? Why don't you appreciate the fact that your children are so well cared for? Why don't you get over the fact that your children can love more than just you?

As a nanny, I feel punched in the gut right now. But at the same time, I feel a tad bit of pity for you. You need to get over yourself.

Christina said...

Good luck with finding a replacement nanny, OP. Perhaps they crave your attention because the nanny is a nanny, but is doing all the motherly and maternal tasks but is not allowed the closeness with them. Like most children, 'mother' and 'father' is ingrained into their minds as the person who gave birth or are biologically related to them when that is not always the case.


And for lack of better, nicer words: you're an epic bitch. I hope your children make her cards and make her feel much more loved than you do.

TC said...

Wow, Just wow :(

jekkyl and hyde much? said...

Holy sh%#!

kim said...

This is why I was fired from a nanny job just 6 months ago. I did everything well. Of course I did I was taking care of a precious 18 month old. But mom was territorial. Dad fired me. He was sympathetic, grateful and slipped me extra cash on top of the 2 week severence pay. I still work in the same neighborhood and the woman replaced me with a "bench nanny". She's not educated, doesn't seem to even like children. She's from the Islands.I hope the mom is happy, but the child can't be. It is sad for me to see, but some of you need to stop and think when you report bitter, angry faced nannies that they have been hired intentionally as to not detract from the four mothering skills the parent actually has.

Vanessa said...

LOL


Somebody's jealous of their nanny.

I don't think mothers need to remind the nanny that they're not the parents, unless they're insecure about the love those kids feel for them.

This person is clearly psychotic.

And no, insane lady. None of us expect anything from you.

anonynanny said...

Yes, you ARE the one your kids want. That's because they know nothing else, and they want attention from you because you never give them enough. This letter only makes you sound bad, and it makes the nanny sound amazing, which seems to be the issue you have in the first place! I don't know why you posted it!

JustAMommy said...

Writing the nanny's paychecks does not make you a mother. Your name may be on their birth certificates, but by your own accounts you are not doing anything to nurture these children.

And I doubt they are disappointed when the Nanny picks them up from school, since they expect nothing less. You are lucky to have her and I hope you write her HUGE bonus checks on her birthday and Christmas, for your children's sakes.

MT said...

Your children may not be making paper hearts for your nanny, but given that it sounds like she is doing EVERYTHING for your children, I sure hope you're buying her a very generous gift. It is not your nanny's fault if you are not there for your kids and not raising them. Your nanny is just doing her job, and it sounds like she's doing yours too. I was never jealous of our caregivers, never upset that my kids liked them and didn't miss me during the day, I was grateful that my kids had caring people to spend my worktime with. Our sitters ALWAYS got a Mothers Day gift from us.

nannyLala said...

Wow!!!! I hope your nanny quits!!!If you feel that way stay home and take care of your own children!!!!!! You need to go to therapy lady you have many issues to deal with like maybe your own mother? I feel very very sad for you and your children....you should be greatful that your children are being well cared for why you are not around.

Lindsey said...

LOL, I too was like, "aww how sweet." Then I was like, "Dayam!" Thats some cold hearted shit lol.

Having kids doesn't make you a Mother. Nuff said.

Janet English- ROFL @ Cooch, Love it!

FinalsMissDee said...

This is just awful. If the nanny cares for the children from sunrise to after sunset and the children never see their mother, how can they want to see her when they never see her? I didn't have a mother, and my father was emotionally distant from me. The people that I craved at this age were my grandmother, and older sister. Once my grandmother died, I craved my older sister, then, when I was 16, almost 17, my father handed me over to complete strangers, and I ended up living with them for four years. Once I got settled in with my new family, I started calling them mom and dad in front of my own father. I loved being home on weekends because my stepmother and the dogs were there and we had cable; I hated being in my dad's house because of the lack of structure, love and emotional support.

OP: Do you know how much I would give or what I would do to have my mother in my life or see her for even 5 minutes to feel her touch? Do you know what it is like to grow up without a mother and have a father like mine? INSTEAD OF BEING A SPOILED, PAMPERED BITCH WHO THINKS SHE IS TOO GOOD TO BE A PARENT, try LEARNING how to be a mother, and be one, that is, if your life won't get in the way. Your children do not crave you for the love and support; they crave you for the biological reasons that you are their mother and nobody can replace a mother. THEN AGAIN, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN HAVING AN INCONSIDERATE, JEALOUS AND EGOTISTICAL BITCH LIKE YOU FOR A MOTHER.

Kim: How sad that you got fired, and you did everything you were supposed to do. Does the mother know the lazy sloth of a nanny she hired?

Jane, Mary and everyone, sorry for the tone and language in my post. I can't stand people like the mother described in this post......

Katlee85 said...

I immediately thought of Kate Gosselin when I read that lol.

Does this moniker make my butt look big said...

My charges love seeing mommy because that means..
they can spit out the healthy snack I sat in front of them and eat a cookie instead,they can now go home & veg out in front of the TV from 6pm-9pm,while eating their dinner all alone in their room. They do not have to suffer thorugh reading any books,they can pee w/out washing their hands and they can they can get away with temper tantrums until 7am tomorrow morning when I show up again! It's sad but very true. I love the kids but am shocked at my bosses.When I showed up to one of their birthday parties..my charge flew across the room, jumped into my arms and ,I will quote another party goer"aww look at that,thats the first smile we have had all day"
So mommy who wrote the letter..you keep those puffy pink hearts close because,of course your child loves you..but they desire,thrive on &respect me.

BLB fan said...

BLB:

Well said!!! lolol! :)

Confused Nanny said...

What on Earth was this? How could someone write this? It is incomprehensible that anyone could think this way let alone write it down. I'm disgusted.

p's thoughts said...

Weird.