Sunday

Farewell...

Received Sunday, May, 9, 2010
a day in the life on I SAW YOUR NANNY Dear Mom,
Almost 3 years ago, you were looking for a full-time, live-out babysitter. To tell you the truth, when I interviewed for the position, I just assumed I wouldn't get the job. But you emailed me, wanting to have another interview and have me meet your children and husband. I honestly thought I'd hit the mother lode.

I will admit the job was a bit stressful at first. As you know, taking care of three active little ones is a lot of work. And your kids didn't quite trust me right away, which I in no way took personally. But when I told you I thought the two older ones were telling little white lies (i.e. saying they washed their hands when they were obviously still dry and dirty), you had a long talk with them and I never had trouble with lying again. When I had to put one of your boys in time-out and your husband came in to hear him crying, he shrugged and said, "you should have listened to her." I felt like I had both of you on my team.

The city you live in is my hometown, so I wanted to take your children to all the things I did as a child. We went to museums, parks and the zoo on a regular basis when school was out. I signed the older ones up for a summer reading group at the library. You thought I was going above and beyond the call of duty and were extremely thankful. I loved doing all these things, so I didn't even realize that I was slowly changing my job title from babysitter to nanny.

Your children are wonderful. Your oldest can make new friends with other children in 10 seconds flat; your middle child is the observer, who is the epitome of the phrase "still waters run deep"; and your little one is so adorable with a vivid imagination. Yes, the kids and I had our arguments, but I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I had to put one of them in time-out. The youngest is at a temper tantrum phase right now, but she's realized it doesn't work on me or you. All three of them have such strong moral compasses that just the hint that they might be disappointing me or you or your husband keeps them in line.

I also know you and your husband are hands-on parents. I hear from nanny friends of mine that they see you at the park when I'm not there - getting dirty, chasing them around, and playing games with them. Your kids always have fun stories about what they did over the weekends with you. It's really refreshing to hear, since many parents in your area just plop their kids in front of the TV when the nanny isn't around.

When I started, your littlest one was 7 months old. Now she is getting ready for preschool in the fall, which will pretty much make my job obsolete. My husband and I realized this a while ago, and decided this fall would be when we would move out of state. I can't wait for the next chapter of my life to begin, but every time I look at your kids I think of how heartbroken I will be when I won't be able to see their faces every day. Even though I will be leaving my family, I am absolutely sure that your three children will be the hardest for me to say farewell to.

I am planning on finding another nanny position in my new city, but I admit I'm quite scared. I realize I have had the Holy Grail of nanny jobs and nothing will really compare to this. You have treated me like a professional, always coming home at least five minutes before my quitting time, paying me on time, giving me yearly raises, and ample time (usually more than a month!) if there was a scheduling change. I have always felt like an extremely valued employee.

Even though I have been your employee, you have taken an interest in my life outside of work. When I had to run out of town unexpectedly for a funeral, you were completely understanding. You were great about me taking a few sick days when I had food poisoning. When I came into work sick (but not anything serious or contagious) you set up the DVD player with kids movies and told the kids to be extra nice to me. I tried to return the favor on days you were sick by keeping the kids out of the house and making get well soon cards.

I have been around for 8 birthdays, 4 first day of schools, and one very long potty training session. These children are more than just my charges. I hope you'll be o.k. with me still sending birthday cards to them for, well, forever.

I would like to thank you for the past few years. This has been by far the most rewarding job I have ever had. Even though I won't be leaving for a few months, it's hard for me not to get emotional thinking of the eventual goodbye.

Love
Your nanny

This is very close to what I'm planning on writing in a card when I leave. I wanted people on this site to see that not all mom-nanny relationships are a mess.

18 comments:

MC2 said...

This is almost exactly what I wanted to write to my former MB when I left. Instead we went out to dinner together and I just told her all of it from my heart. She's one of my most favorite people in the world and it was definitely the best job in the world.

Thanks for sharing!

MissDee said...

That sounds wonderful. OP, you were lucky to have your employers and they were lucky to have you. I know moving to new area is hard. I know you will get a fantastic reference from this family and hope that you find a new family that appreciates you as much as this family does.

VAnanny said...

This made me cry! I had the same exact experience at my nanny job. They are still some of my best friends and I am still there for first days of school, soccer games, school plays, etc. We just got word they are being stationed in Germany so my heart is breaking at not being able to see them regularly. Just know that you played a part in helping these children grow. And what an amazing gift you have been given by being able to watch them learn and grow. I know it's hard to leave but you will always be a part of them.

There are always people that think that nannies and employers can't have this type of relationship but I'm here to tell you, they absolutely can.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Beautifully written, OP!

lovingnliving said...

This is beautiful and I can relate to this! I just moved to another city, and had the fortunate opportunity to work part-time for 2 amazing families before I moved. I realize how lucky I was to find families that not only treated me professionally, they also treated me as a part of their family. It was the best of both worlds. I only pray that I will be half as lucky as I was in my old place.

You sound like an awesome nanny that a new family would be love to employ. You seem to take your job seriously and truly love what you do for a living.

Best wishes to your future and thank you for sharing this letter!

UtahNanny said...

OP- Thank you for this beautiful post. I am a frequent visitor to ISYN and it's always so disheartening to see the angry and strained relationships between nanny and parents. I have been a nanny for a wonderful family for almost two years and I will be leaving the position around Christmas due to familial changes.

I have also been blessed to have great bosses who are kind and generous with me. Even better they are exceptional parents to the little one that I love so much.
It is wonderful to see that such awesome situations do exist in the nanny world :) Good luck to you and thank you for saying this better than I could have :)

AMom said...

That is so wonderful to read! I am so glad to hear of a great nanny who had great kids and great parents to work for! i am sure they will miss you tons. And, I am sure the parents will be thrilled to get that letter from you when you do move on.

xfileluv said...

::::sob:::: Lovely, and you all are so lucky. Best of luck to you on your new journey; I'm sure you will be missed.

saveaand1 said...

What a beautiful letter.We as nannies play a very important role in these childrens lives and become very attached. I understand the heartbreak you are about to endure. Letters and frequent photos make the transission a bit easier. I wish you luck with your new journey. A baby I cared for moved to another state, I sobbed for days before and after she left. There is'nt a day that goes by that I dont think of her. Thank goodness her mommy and I have become friends, so the updates ease the pain.I am sure you will have the same outcome and updates:)
Jodi incase Your reading this......Please tell Bunny, Her Nanny Jacque loves and misses her.

Manhattan Nanny said...

Thank you for posting this OP. It is a nice reminder for those who visit this site that there ARE happy nannies who love their jobs, and families who are wonderful to work for.

K. Warren said...

This is exactly how I feel about my job!!!!! although because of my husband's line of work (military) we will probably have to move on before they are ready to move on from me, I get emotional thinking about them not being in my day to day life! for now it's not a worry, but 'my family' has been such a huge part of my life for the past 2 yrs that I thank god every day for them!

world's best nanny said...

I have nearly the same thing going on with my employers now. I am going to miss this job when I leave!

BURNT OUT NANNY said...

I had a family like this.....a long,long,long time ago!!

gratefulmom said...

This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing it here. Please do send cards and call. We have two former nannies who come to our kids' birthday parties or have dinner with us when they are in town. They still go on vacations with us if they are free. One has stayed with us when her boyfriend didn't work out. They are our family and we are theirs. Our kids will probably know them their whole lives.

Thanks to all the nannies who are kind and who really love our kids.

Michelle said...

This just brought tears to my eyes! I went through something very similar being with a family for 5 years and seeing the births of 2 beautiful little girls and when I left and moved out of state I was heartbroken to say goodbye to "my" 4 girls. I still send them birthday cards/Christmas cards etc. and it's been 2 years since I left. This was nice to read! Good luck :) I'm sure they'll be part of your lives forever, it's what I'm finding!

WausauNanny said...

I cried when I read this and I totally understand and have a family like this. They are wonderful and when their son starts school in just a few short years, I too will move on. I have worked for just a few families in the past ten years and I still keep in contact with them. They are all forever my family. :)

Kudos and good luck to you, OP...

Tearful Nanny said...

I have tears in my eyes now. That letter was so moving. The mother of the family I'm with is impatient, changes or drops hours on short notice, goes back on previous agreements, doesn't take responsibility for changes she's made and dictates the day despite promises of autonomy. Where can I find a family like yours OP? I wouldn't even need much, just give me enough to get by and I would be in heaven.

billie said...

I'll second (or, well, 20th?) this... I started babysitting for "my" family when their eldest was 2 months old - I was in high school, working part-time during the school year and more than full time in the summer - started watching the youngest at 5 days; when I graduated, it was my full-time job.

They became, far more so than my immediate family, my family. When I got married, they were my matron of honor, jr bridesmaid, flower girl and photographer. MB was the only one who, when I had an unplanned pregnancy with medical issues, didn't try to convince my of the right thing to do - she alone said that only I knew the right decision and she would support me either was, and when I chose my baby, she had me back at "work" as soon as I could, but really, it was more her kids helping take care of mine than me taking care of them (and she knew it!) - and she very obviously made up reasons to need more of my time when she knew I was struggling with the costs.
She became, really, MY mom. And I still say that my "eldest child" is hers - and I was SO proud when she graduated from college with honors.