24 April, 2010

CL-WTF?

Saturday, April 24, 2010
Photobucket
.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Nanny for Triplets (Malibu)
I am the mother of three identical girls; Aubrey, Layla and Maggie.

The girls are 3 going on 35 and love every part about being girls. They love fashion, being girly, wearing dresses, the color pink, princesses and being with each other. The main reason for a nanny right now is that I want the girls isolated, bonding with each other so they grow up relying on each other for things. I want them to grow up with great relationships and know how much family means.

They will not be allowed to do play-dates with other children; how people raise their children these days is disrespectful. I have friends with children the same age and will set up any playdates and I will be there to over-see the play-date. You will not participate in this.

The schedule below will give you an idea of your schedule:

Monday-Thursday
5-8 - You will prepare their oatmeal with fresh fruit, wake them up and strip their beds and throw it into the laundry, after breakfast is over their pajamas are to go with them. At 7 you are to wake them up and feed them, at 8 you will dress them alike (including hair, and shoes/socks.) and clean up the breakfast items. You will also start the first load of laundry while they are getting their shoes on.)

8-11:30 - Anything in this time frame has to be pre-approved with me on Monday every week and written on our schedule. I like to know where my children are at all times and what they are doing.

Lunch out is never acceptable.

12-1 - You will feed them healthy meals and switch the laundry if you haven't already done so.

1:30 -2 - Naptime is taken in the naptime room (since their bedding is in the wash.) They have nap cots that are in an empty room that is normally used for time-outs. The cots pull down and they each have an extra set of nap-time comfort items. They are not to be near each other, shades pulled and turn on their naptime cd. They will nap for 2 hours usually.

2:30-4:30 While the kids are napping you will need to make their beds up, put away their pajamas and start ay other laundry that needs cleaning, sweep floors, clean up any dishes or sippy cups etc.

5-6 This window is pool time. If you do not feel comfortable watching three children by a pool, need not apply. They have been taking lessons since they were 8 months old and all know how to swim and are fearless around water however I need you to be 110% attentive and not sun bathing or on your cell phone. These are my children, not a pet.

6-7 You are to give the girls their baths; bubble baths, matching pajamas, clothes go into hamper. Aubrey wears pull-ups.

7-8 You are to prepare their dinner at this time, I will usually put something together for you so you just have to turn on the crock pot and throw it all in there in the morning while they are eating. If i haven't, find something in the fridge.

8-9:30 is teeth brushing, stories read, and toys put away. Girls are to help with this, you are not to do it for them. They are to be in bed, lights out and music on by 9 pm. by 9:30 they should all be asleep if not you will need to step in and re-calm them down. (minimal talking.)

from 10-11:30 you will clean the home, put away dinner, start the dishwasher and run a load of towels from the baths earlier, bath mats, washcloths included. Water toys are put away, bathrooms cleaned and toothbrushes are to be sterilized with the ionizers.

I will arrive home each night before midnight and you will be free to go to your guesthouse to get some much needed sleep.

Your hours, if they weren't clear, are 5 am to 12 am but on a rare occurance I will be home around 9 or 10 but you will still put the girls to bed.

You will be staying in a large pool house off our pool, it is a full service guesthouse with your own living room, bathroom and bedroom. All utilities are paid, you will have WIFI (with an ipad if you do not have a computer of your own.), air conditioning, a flat screen hdtv, blu-ray player your own library of dvd's to choose from and a queen bed made from memory foam for a good nights sleep.

Your days of work are monday through friday and every other saturday; which will be spent with myself and the girls. I am a single mother and need extra hands.

Your compensation is airfare when you travel home for vacations, I will transport your vehicle out for you and fly you out for an interview. I will pay your cellphone bill and all utilities. I will not be paying a weekly salary but you will not have to buy toilitries, etc. Each month, given you have given a good performance I will give you a bonus towards clothing, or spending money. This job is ideal for someone retired, or someone who just wants to live the high life.

I work in the entertainment industry and will not tolerate any 'fan' behavior. I need you to respect my privacy, keep my girls safe and do a good job.

If interested, please email. I have attatched photos of the girls and parts of the home.

(Second photo is of the interior of the guesthouse. Bedroom and bathroom are upstairs in the loft. Downstairs is the kitchen, living area.)
Original URL: unavailable
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Special thanks to Kate for the insane Feature Ad this week! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their great Submissions: amyfacie, m.stermer, VAnanny, MissDee, CSnanny, kiddiepsyc, vintagebeauty03, mbargielski and krupitzerb. This was definitely one of the best CL-WTF 's ever... all of you did an amazing job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And please don't forget to include the Links!

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

38 comments:

ChiNanny said...

Someone needs to inform number 1 that slavery is illegal now.

Janet English said...

And on Sunday you may sleep.

Joanne said...

I can't even get past that first posting. 19 hours a day, unpaid. AND she sets the schedule for everything. WTF, indeed!

no moniker said...

Anonymous said...
#1 is nuts...
If you have a guest house, chances are you have money to pay someone to watch your kids. That is a want not a need. Use the money to get decent child care. Then to state what you do for a living..Like any sane person is just going to run to work as a slave for you ,because you say you are famous. If this ad is for real, and they do find someone crazy enough to do it..I hope they are prepared for the law suit to follow..This is america where we have fair labor laws.

no.1 is a troll said...

Feature ad must be a gag. I don't believe it. It is just too craptastically dumb and unreal.

Alex said...

Found a response of craigslist for a person very upset with number one (no surprise there!)

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/1700580981.html

"Is this a joke? If not, you are asking for a SLAVE, last I checked slavery is illegal. Taking care of your 3 brats 15 hours a day 5-6 days a week is not "the high life"

Just remember you get what you pay for. Disgusting... "

They then proceeded to "remind" the poster what they posted.

Village said...

Forget the fact that #1 is looking for a slave.

What about those children? Can you even imagine their entrance into the world? They will be naive to the point of danger to themselves, and the rebelling to that type of structure? Katie bar the door when they reach their teenage years. Holy smoke she will have her hands full, and in all likely hood, those children will ignore her completely. They will be totally out of control.

I have a question. If you work 18 hours a day and leave before the children awake and arrive home after they are asleep. WHY DID YOU HAVE CHILDREN? They aren't pets.

MissDee said...

So let me get this straight. Number 1 is looking for a nanny for her triplets. The schedule is already written out, is very strict and rigid, without a break, and the nanny is expected to adhere to this schedule, no exceptions. In addition, the nanny is to sleep from 5-8 hours a night, most likely 5, and work an 18 hour day, 6 days a week. There is no pay involved, and your plane ticket will be paid to and from your home state. Best of all, you are given the chance to live the "high life".

I bet the mother is a cracked out porn star who can't afford a nanny due to all the surgery and drugs she buys. That would explain why she wants someone to work for free. The 18 hour days are probably the equivalent to the mother spending hours on her back for drug money.

Kentuckychickrk said...

Okay seriously... #1... like others have pointed out. She's looking for a SLAVE. She wants someone to completely raise her children. She will never see them. She wants someone to work 95-114 HOURS PER WEEK for NO pay!?!?

That's just insane.

And I certainly wouldn't want someone taking care of my children knowing they were only getting at absolute max, 4-5 hours of sleep per night!

Nuts.

Kentuckychickrk said...

Oh and PS -- can anyone even think of a single person who works in the "entertainment industry" and has triplets. My guess is that in this context the "entertainment" industry = the "porn" industry or something like it... and seriously, the fact that she works in the industry and obviously makes enough to own a guesthouse makes it even more pathetic that she won't pay for childcare.

Honestly, I'd much rather make less money working for someone who is struggling through the economy and trying their best and REALLY needs it than put up with helping this woman make her children's lives miserable.

Village said...

Me thinks the posters have hit the nail on the head. #1 is in the porn business. And the fan comment is almost too much. What are the chances anyone has been watching hard core porn? Isn't that a dude thing?

And the need for control fits. She has none at work. She is at the complete mercy of her 'employers'. In a way she is a slave, so she sees nothing wrong with employing her own.

She needs our prayers, not ridicule. No wonder she is so freaked about who her daughters come into contact with. No telling how she herself fell into such a trap. She is trying to protect her daughters from what happened to her; she just doesn't have a clue how to do it, which also fits. She couldn't/can't protect herself, so how would she know how to protect her daughters.

Those girls are probably the only decent, loving thing in her life. She is trying to do her best without a clue as to how.

I hope she reads this, and gets herself to the finest nanny personnel shop in the business. If a woman ever needed professional help in raising her children, this is the one. And OP, you need three live in nannies, so they can rotate in and out always fresh, and always there for the children. With three 40 hour a week nannies, the most important people in your life will be well cared for and raised well.

Now get to it. Make sure your daughters have a different path in life than yours. Find nannies you can trust, so your children have a chance at a normal life.

MB said...

Of all the ads I have seen on Craigslist- and I have seen a lot-
this is the most outrageous!

ChiNanny said...

In #1s defense, she says she's in the industry, not that she's famous. She very well could be a manager or publicist or something.

She still wants a slave and must be crazy to think anyone will work for her.

Psyber Chica said...

Being in entertainment can mean many things. She may work closely with celebrities. She could be a news anchor. Whatever the case, poor little girls. She mentioned how important family is...why isn't she raising them then?

Blythe said...

I agree that pretty much everything about the first advertisement was weird, but what got me the most was that she intentionally wanted to ISOLATE her children.

How is THAT a good plan?! I understand wanting them to be close, but I sincerely doubt that keeping them away from other children is the healthiest way to do that....

lala said...

#1 sounds like a bad parody of an entitled mom obsessed with raising her daughters as isolated, spoiled, stereotypical "girly-girls"....with the added benefit of thinking an iPad is sufficient in lieu of an income. I really think it's either a parody or an attempt to see "what comes in" as responses to something like that.

cali mom said...

wow, free toiletries for only 118 hours a month and all the shit you can eat? Whre do I sign up??!

cali mom said...

#1 seems to have pulled her ad after a coupl eof angry responses.

FYI: 5am-12am = **19** hours/day. 19 x 4.2 (weeks per month), + another (19x2) = 117.8 hours per month.

Whatever she does in the "entertainment" industry, she must be smoking crack to think that ANYONE would go for this arrangement.

gypsy said...

The hours are wrong, arent they?
I work 172 hours in a montyth

cali mom said...

OMG Gypsy, YES!

19 x **5** x 4.2 would be correct, PLUS another 19 x 2 (38) for the 2 Saturdays (God forbid it works out that there are 5 Saturdays a month or the nanny would be working 3 of them!) = 437 hours a month!! So two weeks of work would buy you the iPad and after that, you're bought and paid for. What a nutcase!

Does anyone else wonder what she has been doing for childcare until now and why she needs to hire someone?

Kentuckychickrk said...

Honestly though, even if this woman were offering to pay this nanny a fortune, there's no way I think I'd even consider it.

This woman isn't looking for a nanny, she's looking for a full time mother for her children and she'll just be around to babysit on the weekends so you can have a free day. She's never around to wake them up or tuck them in and she makes it VERY clear that both of these are the nanny's job. She doesn't do meals, or play or pool time or anything at all for her children.

It's sad.

The truth is she probably thinks these little girls desperately need each other because they are really all they have. They certainly don't have her.

I also noted that she is also clearly insanely OCD... I mean washing sheets, blankets, towels, bathmats, etc... every single day. And santitizing the toothbrushes with ionizers. Overkill slightly. She's the kind who would probably absolutely freak on you if one of the girls got the sniffles.

And then of course... there's the totally lack of individuality and fun. I'd be so tempted to dress them in mismatching outfits every once in a while (you know, making sure I did that eight load of laundry before mommy dearest arrived home), and I'd definitely allow them to sleep with their little cots side by side during nap time occasionally in that big old "empty room". Ugh. And if they're waking up at 7 am... they'd be napping closer to noon and going to bed closer to 8.

lol... yeah... I'd never work out for that position.

BryBry said...

WOW, for starters what good is having a computer, bis screen and movies, if you are trying to savor every minute you have to sleep. I mean comeon how could anyone deal with all that and only a few hours of sleep?! And working in the "entertainment" business shouldn't she be able to afford to pay for a real nanny, and wouldn't she want to go through an agency. There can be some really creepy people on Craigslist and by saying she is "famous" or works for famous people is just asking for a creeper

nc said...

I want to know what's going to happen when they don't want to wear the samething as their sisters for the first time. She will probably flip.

world's best nanny said...

I call BS on number 1.

sad but true said...

To Alex:
That ad you found is posted as #2 in the response after #1.

To the others:
Why can't this be real? To tell you the truth, I'm a neurotic, over-protective, OCD-filled basket case that knows better than to have any kids because I would probably be the same kind of mother. Who knows? Maybe the condom broke?

SniffleMissDee said...

What is she going to do when they girls start school, not wanting to wear the same outfits? If she doesn't let them play with other children, they will not learn to socialize with other people. Besides, if she works 18 hour days and wants someone else to raise her kids, how would she know what went on in their day?

Save your $ for therapy said...

Anonymous said:
My guess is #1 is written by the current/former nanny of that family and she took the job not knowing how long the hours would be or how little the pay or how wacky the mom.

This seems plausible to me, as well. Because what employer would describe the job like that if they actually wanted to hire somebody?

But if it is real, how does mom give names and ages of the kids, as well as attach pictures and state her field of work, and then say she expects privacy? Also, I hope mom is the one planning all the activities, because I can't imagine having to plan and get approval (and no doubt re-plan) all the outings while working that schedule. Are the kids allowed to go to museums/playgrounds/anywhere they might come in contact with other kids?

unreal!! said...

I went looking for the actual ad and couldn't find it. I want to see the pictures! But I hope to God it is fake, how on earth can anyone think that is fair? or even legal?

Alex said...

Yeah, I saw that it was posted once I clicked on the actual post. I posted it when I had only read the front page part.

xfileluv said...

Re: #1....Am I the only person who doesn't change their child's sheets every day? Maybe I'm a disgusting slob, but that seems a little excessive to me.

It also reminded me that when I was nanny in Boston, I had to iron the sheets. Luckily, I adored my charge, which made up for the wtf-ness of the sheet ironing. ;-)

HOly Cow said...

OMG! Someone in the "entertainment industry" who has "fans" and they are using Craigslist to solicit a slave?

This person has mental problems to the max!

just another mommy said...

xfilelove, I certainly don't change my children's sheets every day! Now obviously if they have an accident, they get changed right away, but other than that, once a week or so is plenty often for sheets to get changed. And I haven't even started reading the rest of the ads. My jaw is still hanging open after reading the first one!

Kentuckychickrk said...

xfileluv -- actually there's probably a good argument out there somewhere that would give good enough reasons not to change your child's sheets every day. Too much introduction of laundry chemicals to the skin if nothing else. Goodness gracious. Plus kids need a few germs. I can definitely see changing them daily if they have constant accidents or if they're sick with colds or something. Then I thought, well they swim every day, so maybe that's why... but clearly the kids are bathed every night before bed, so I just can't see where they'd be getting those sheets that dirty!

Bath towels either.

You use bath towels AFTER you're clean... why the need to wash them daily? Throw them in the dryer and hang them back on the rack.

Phoenix said...

Is number 1 for real? OMG she is going to screw her kids up so bad.

monkeyshines said...

#1
de mom probally have 3 different fathers for him triplets

monkeyshines said...

dem probally havin 3 daddy fe de triplets

Phoenix said...

how do you know #1 is a porn star? did I miss something?

oh and btw they are rarely on their back. They do work very hard, that industry is not easy.

NannyLala said...

WOW NOW I HEARD EVEYTHING!!!!!REALLY? CAN NOT BE REAL CAN IT? IF so POOR CHILDREN!!!!!!!