Christmas Bonus Feature 2009, part II

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Carlisle, Mass
Bonus this year: $600
Your Weekly Salary: $575 (under the table)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: A wonderful card that brought me tears, and the most comfy pair of slippers from L.L. Bean!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 4 months
Could not ask for a better family to work for! They are very supportive, caring, and generous. The mom even baked cookies for me for my flight home to see my family!

Westchester County
Bonus this year: $500 + $1000
Your Weekly Salary: $900
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Two antique frames, each with a picture of a child inside, a HUGE gift basket with great products in it like JimmyJane, Earthworks, Voluspa, Millefiori, Pure Fiji, Kheil's, Seda France, Speziali Fiorentini, and more!
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 17 months
The family is super sweet. The father is focused on money spent out. He dispensed the bonus to me of $500. The mother said there was no way she was giving me a $500 bonus when I got a week's pay last year, so she gave me a separate envelope with this explanation and 1,000 cash. She also stated that she will be working on "the father" to get me a raise this year. They are both extremely likable people and they are raising great children.

Bonus this year: $2175
Your Weekly Salary: $725
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Reebok fitness shoes, a year membership to the ultra nice gym and some work out clothing.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 3 years

Washington DC
Bonus this year (2009): One week's pay
Your Weekly Salary: $810 gross
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: None
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 5 months
I was really surprised to receive an entire week's pay for my bonus. I know it's pretty standard, but I was expecting less since I've only been working for them for a short time. What I appreciated more than the money was how happy they were to give it to me. I work hard at my job so it was nice to feel so appreciated.

Intermountain area
Bonus: 0
Weekly Salary: 450 for 55+ hour weeks of childcare and house cleaning
Supplementary Gifts: $100 gift card from children
Time of employment: 1. 1/2 years
Not surprised that I didn't get a bonus, I haven't received a raise/bonus/anything since starting with this family. They didn't even acknowledge my birthday. Its okay though, I love the children that I nanny as if they were my own. I'm grateful for a job and that they allow me to live with them. Happy Holidays ISYN!

Chicago, IL
Bonus: $500
Weekly Salary: $575 gross
Supplementary Gifts: none as of yet, but hoping to get a card made by the kids
Length of time: I've worked for this family for about 21 months. They are wonderful and I frequently get random days off throughout the year, as well as little gifts. I couldn't be happier with my job and was very happy to receive the bonus.

The West Coast

Bonus this year: $100 cash
Your Weekly Salary: I'm hrly so it depends on how many hours I work. Average is about $500.
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: none, not even a card even though I know they had some leftover and MB texted me to ask for my address.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 10 mos
I started working on a very personalized gift for the parents about 5 mos ago and they didn't even acknowledge it before they left the country for two weeks leaving me with a mostly unpaid "vacation." I also put a lot of time and thought into the kids gifts, and had them help me make stuff for the parents and grandparents. DB handed me the $100 as I was leaving on Friday. I felt like I was an afterthought. I am going to put the money toward a morning at a nearby day spa on Christmas Eve. Also, MB nickle and dimes me every week even though I drive her kids around (and sometimes the parents) on my dime. Overall they are OK people to work for...not very "warm and fuzzy" but just OK. They don't micromanage. They say they are happy with me which makes me think they like me more than I like them. The kids are nice though. I am looking for another job because I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye on the unpaid vacation/sick time thing.

Denver, CO
Bonus this year: $0
Weekly salary: $13/hour before taxes (I work between 18 and 35 hours/week depending on the week)
Supplementary gifts: a necklace and a random gift certificate to some obscure store I've never heard of for $30
Length of time you've worked for the family: 6 months
From day one I've busted my ass going above and beyond, always staying late when asked or coming early. Dealing with the CONSTANT late arrival of the parents at the end of my day without a phone call and so much more. I'm beyond frustrated with the situation but am sticking it out because of the flexibility since I'm in school. I've been a nanny for 6 years and never once been treated with such little respect. Sorry just needed to rant!

Upper Saddle River, NJ
Bonus this year: $100
Weekly salary: $18/hour and I work about 30 hours a week.
Supplementary gifts: this is bad. I got one of those foot spas you soak your feet in. The only thing is, about 4 months ago, my employer bought one, used it and had the housekeeper clean it up so she could return it. She stated at that time, "that's not worth $40". So not only do I have a gift I'll never use, but my employer's feet have already contaminated it.
Length of time you've worked for the family: 8 months
I work for a super sleezy family in NJ. They have a ton of money and pay everything in cash. They pay my salary in cash. They buy cars and vacations in cash. The woman I work for is orange from fake tans, has a thick Jersey accent and likes to talk about how she has the best ass in Saddle River. It would have been very easy for Mr. pockets full of cash to hand me more than a single hundred dollar bill. I have to say, that pissed me off. I watched them both hand out wads of cash as tips to busdrivers, garbage men, drycleaners, and the guys who shovel driveways. Wads of cash. I don't know why I was singled out for this meager bonus.

Austin, TX

Bonus this year: $250
Your Weekly Salary: $500 for 40 hours, but I usually get a bit more than that.
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: Frame ornament with a picture of the baby, $15 iTunes gift card, very nice set of notecards
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 3 months
I tried hard to keep my hopes down because I haven't had the job very long. I was ready to be happy with just a small token and no bonus at all, so I'm very pleased it worked out this way. :)


Bonus: $300 Visa Gift Card
Weekly Salary: $300 ( part time)
Supplementary Gifts: None
Length of Employment: 9 months.
I'm part time student and was
expecting more since I'm attending graduate school for social work this January. Honestly, I pretty much received no bonus because I'm not being paid for the "vacation" time I'm taking 27th to the 4th. Both parents will be home and they have no need for me but I'm sure they didn't think of that. Pretty much they just gave me a week of pay and called it even. I bought the 2 children ages 6 and 11 gifts. I would have preferred the $300 cash since I'll be using the money to pay the bills because I don't get paid vacation not even during the holidays. The 6 year old had huge behavior problems and I put up with his abusive behavior and this is the thanks I get. I'm grateful that I have a job but now its time for look for a new one. :(

Madison, WI; 2 jobs
Job 1 :
Weeekly salary: $225 cash
Gifts: photo of child, $40 Border Gift Certificate
Length of employment: 4 months

Job 2:
Bonus : $40
Gifts: None
Salary: $100-$200/week
Length of Employment: 6 months
I am happy with what I got. I wasn't expecting anything and didn't want to get my hopes up. The last family I worked for gave me $150 as a bonus after working for them for four months. I do not work for wealthy families so I do not expect them to have the means to give me a huge bonus. I am just greatful to be employed. The first family I work for I work M-F frow 3-6 and the second family I work for I work MW from 9:00-1:00

Manhattan, UES
Bonus this year: $4,000
Weely Salary: $1300 a week on avg, after taxes.
Supplementary gifts: Lots of things for my baby. I am 5 months pregnant. A britax carseat, a Bumbleride stroller, and a beautiful hand, decorated bassinet and a generous gift certificate to Babies N Bellies so I can get some maternity clothes.
Time with the family: 3 years
They are always generous, but I usually get two weeks pay for a bonus. I think they were extra generous this year because I have a baby coming and lots of expenses. Which, for those of you who work for wealthy employers; it's kind of a rare thing for them to be able to put themselves in your shoes and imagine what would best suit you. Everything I was given was so thoughtful. I hate to say I have come to expect their generosity, but it has been three years and I hope they have come to expect that I am generous with everything I have to give to them and their children. I think we have a mutually fulfilling relationship. Am I grateful? To the nines!

Bonus this year: none
Weely Salary: $400/wk after taxes, 10 days full vacation, and full health insurance
Supplementary gifts: So many things! Purses, Bath and Body products in my favorite scents, pictures of the kids, a new computer, new printer, supplies for the new computer and printer, books, candles, etc. Amazing presents!
Time with the family: Right about two years
The family I work with is so generous and I absolutely love working for them. They make me feel appreciated all year and shower me with gifts throughout. I am such a lucky nanny.

Minneapolis, MN
Bonus: 400
Weekly Salary: 500
Supplementary Gifts: An ornament with my dogs name, and Christmas decorations. (I had told them earlier in the year that I didn't have any.)
Length of Employment: A little over a year.
I couldn't ask for a nicer family to work for, and I love "my" kids!

Bonus this year: $450 cash
Weekly salary: $450 on the books + $50 cash to make up for the taxes, then $15/hr cash for anything over 30 hours
Supplementary gifts: None
Length of time you've worked for the family: 4 months
I am really, really grateful that I got a bonus. I've been wondering lately if I misjudged the family when I first interviewed with them, because lately they have been less-than-respectful with regards to informing me about the hours that they need me to work. I was worried that they were just starting to completely take me for granted, and that the next 6 months (I verbally agreed to stay through the end of the school year, and I intend to keep that promise) would be awful. But the bonus makes me hopeful that they might appreciate me after all, or at the very least it makes me not regret taking the job.

Northwest D.C.
Bonus: $75
Weekly Salary: $425 cash
Gifts: a really sweet card
Length of time: 1 month
I worked Christmas day. I was scheduled to work 5 hours, and only worked 3. I'm not sure if the $75 was for a bonus or if it was for working Christmas. I really appreciate it, because I haven't been working for them long. They pay me for 40 hrs no matter what, and so far I haven't worked 40 hours. I get many days off, which I appreciate :).

San Diego, CA
Bonus this year (2009): $200 cash
Your Weekly Salary: I work 100h/m and get paid biweekly $525
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: a vegan cookbook! I'm
Vegan and the mom is Vegetarian so we sometimes talk about recipes.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: since June 09
I'm a very happy nanny!

Virginia Two Jobs

Occasional Sitter(few hours per week)
Weekly Salary: $100.00
Gifts: Nice Framed picture of Kids
Ceramic painted art from each of the kids
Length of Employment: 4 years
PT:20 hrs. per week
Gifts: 6 bottles of wine and $300 gift card to my favorite clothing store
Length of Employment:15 years
I work hard and even without these wonderful gifts I know I am appreciated!

Houston, TX
Bonus: $0
Weekly Salary: $225 for 12-15 hours a week
Gifts: $50.00 gift card to a cinema/restaurant
Length of Employment: 2 years and 3 months
I work for a really great family and love my job. I don't have a contract (do pay taxes, but my employers pay my portion so I still get full salary), but I have never had any issues with payment, and have 3 weeks paid vacation, holidays, and any days off that I ask for without having to keep count of them. The last two Christmas' I received $25 gift cards, so having received a $50 gift card this year was actually a surprise. I know I'm expected to get a bonus as a 'standard', but until I came on this site, that never even crossed my mind, so I certainly don't harbor any resentment. I also babysit on an occasional/as needed basis for several local families and received two cash gifts, a $25.00 gift card, and an Ipod with I-Tunes gift card. I feel very blessed this holiday season.

Chicago, Il
Bonus: $1200
Weekly Salary: $600
Supplementary Gifts: Victoria's Secret lingerie, bras and underwear. All in my correct size. Slippers from Fredericks of Hollywood that have a stiletto heel. Chocolate body powder.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 4 months
I'm single and a live-in. Nice stuff, but weird.

Reisterstown, MD
Bonus: $200
Weekly Salary: $580 (before tax)
Supplementary Gifts: $50 gift card to olive garden for my boyfriend and I.

Westchester County
Bonus: $750
Weekly Salary: $750
Supplementary Gifts: a set of Berghoff Chef Knives
Length of time you have worked for the family: 6 months
*I am not a chef, nor do I enjoy cooking. Cooking dinner for the family is one of the chores that has been gradually slid on to me until I know am fairly in charge of dinner four nights a week. The knives are a slap in the face. I mean, she bought them for me to use here in her home to cook for her. This small act has me fuming. Plotting revenge and dreaming of leaving this job, truth be told jobs as nannies are in short supply now so I'll suck it up. But I wouldn't eat the mulligatawny, if I were you.

Seattle, WA
Bonus this year: 1200.00
Weekly Salary: 770.00
Gifts: not sure yet- we are gifting late this year because the family left for vacation early. I Am fairly certain a book is involved, as I am a constant reader.
Length of time you have worked for the family: 8 months
I was not expecting such a huge bonus at my new job! I called my MB and thanked her, with tears in my eyes. They have had nanny issues in the past and it seems they are grateful for some stability for their little girl. I love my job=)

Unknown #2

Bonus: 0
Weekly Salary: $350
Supplementary Gifts: nothing, not even a card :(
Length of Employment: 2 months
I didn't expect a bonus because I haven't been with the family long but I was a little upset and disappointed I didn't even get a card or token gift. I gave a book to my charge and he and I made cookies and a card for his parents together. It also bothered me because when the mother was getting her card list together, I saw that she had bought a box of cards from Neiman Marcus so I was kind of expecting to receive one. However, I did get 3 days off paid Christmas week and they said I'll probably get 2 or 3 days off paid for New Year's week.

Arlington, MA
Bonus this year: $500 cash (though $170 is from an unused sick day).
Your Weekly Salary: $680 gross (40 hours)
Any supplementary gifts aside from the bonus: A nice card from the family.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 12 months
I'm thankful for my bonus this year. I work for an amazing family. I never work late, and if they are late I get $20/hour overtime (even if just 10 minutes). I have 4 weeks of paid vacation, health insurance, use of their car, and paid sick days. They are an amazing family and I'm looking forward to more time with them! Oh, and I have a $2.50/hour raise coming up soon with the new baby!

Sammamish, WA; 2 families
Family #1
Bonus: $100
Weekly salary: $125
Gifts: Box of chocolates and a card
Length of employment: 9 months

Family #2
Sammamish, WA
Bonus: $100
Weekly salary: $135
Gifts: A warm shirt
Length of employment: 3 months
I won't say that I wasn't hoping for a bonus of some type, but I was thinking cookies and maybe $20, perhaps even $50, or prepaid movie tickets, like past families I've worked for. I like cards and cookies, especially Garfield, and am bit of a movie buff. I thought in the end my gifts to their respective children would likely cost more than any bonus and that was fine with me. But I was wrong, both gave $100. I was grateful and put it all to good use as my adorable and some not-so-adorable cousins will see later today. Ah, but the best gift, aside from hugs naturally, was the knowledge that came to light - family two may want to go full-time. :)

Seattle area
Bonus: $500
Weekly Salary: $800
Supplementary Gifts: An embosser for books (From the library of...), some seals for the embosser, and a couple pairs of socks.
Length of Employment: 1 year, 4 months
I also got $1,500 when we renewed my contract in September. I love the embosser. It is such a personal gift, since the mother knows I love books and reading. And the socks will become a tradition, I think. I always wear socks with some kind of design on them and I got socks last Christmas, too. The family I work for is unbelievably generous, and I am more than pleased with my gifts.

Harrison, NY
Bonus: $1500
Weekly Salary: $835
Supplementary Gifts: They bought me my plane ticket to fly home for Christmas back in November and said, "this is your Christmas gift". I flew home on December 23. On December 22, they gave me more gifts. An entire set of brown and pink luggage and 2 pairs of unique converse. I was in shock!
Length of Employment: 1 year, 4 months
My boss also gave me a Jill Stuart bag, but she just handed it to me because someone had given it to her and she didn't like it. The day I left on 12/23, there was another gift, a fancy bag with a bottle of wine to take home to my family.

Bonus: 196.59 in various gift cards
Weekly salary: 500 for 50 hours
Supplementary Gifts: HA! yeah right
Length of employment: 2 yrs 3 months
All the gift cards were gift cards they got throughout the last couple of years from other people. How do I know? Because they just hired someone to orginize the house and the person came to me and said "Wow they have a TON of gift cards" and starts listing them off one by one and mentioning how much each are worth....some of the same cards I now have. Then she says "She told me those are all gift cards she has had for a while and doesn't know what to do with them." I would assume the card that has 36.59 on it was for something she returned to the store without a receipt so they gave her a gift card instead. They have plenty of money to buy a brand new high end SUV with all the bells and whistles, hire a professional organizer, an interior decorator, someone to replace and refinish the kitchen cabinets, someone to install the Christmas lights, a lavish trip in Utah to ski, another lavish trip to New York City, another one to Hawaii, and another one to the Florida Keys but not enough to give the nanny something other than unwanted gift cards. The monetary value means nothing to me, it's the fact that I mean nothing more to them than a bunch of gift cards they don't want and that have been collecting dust for a couple of years, the same nanny that has only called in sick 3 times since I started working, the nanny that is always willing to pitch in and help with household chores, the nanny that invites the oldest over to the neighbors house when I'm babysitting just because I know the kids get along. The nanny that offers to watch the oldest on a day he is supposed to go to pre-school so that he can play with some friends he hasn't seen in months, the nanny that always ends up staying late because the father can't seem to get home on time. I'd much rather have a homemade card from the oldest than the gift cards by the way that I will never use because they are all to restaurants and stores that I never go.

Minneapolis, Minnesota
Bonus: $250
Weekly Salary: $500
Gifts: None
Length of employment: 6 months
Modest bonus despite sticking me on health insurance, taxes and over-time. And they have more excess (for themselves) than anyone I know.

San Antonio, Tx
Bonus this year: 400..
Which honestly I didn't even want to take! This family gives me so much during the year but I'm very thankful for it.
Your Weekly Salary: I work 3 days in the week from 8 to 5.. (Salary??)
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus:
Never Ending supply of Purell (that I LOVE more then anything), Betsey Johnson Watch (orange), a Hermes keychain from Paris, France. (me & my charge exchange keychains everytime we take a trip.. Who else does that?)
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 14 months

Bonus: $1000
Weekly salary: 690 (before taxes)
Supplementary Gifts: Ugg slippers, 100 dollars in gift cards on my birthday and a big handmade poster from the kids
Length of employment: 2 years

Bonus: I can't find it. Lord knows I looked.
Weekly salary: 745 dollar per week
Gifts: A Christmas card from the five year old, handmade and a box of fudge with walnuts-which I hate.
Length of employment: 11 months

Houston Texas
Bonus: 0
Weekly salary: 358 after taxes
Gifts: book, cd, $14 necklace
Length of employment: 18 months

Atlanta, GA
Bonus this year: $500 cash
Your Weekly Salary: $750 gross (varies slightly due to overtime), plus half my health insurance and they provide me with a car and pay for all car-related expenses.
Any Supplementary Gifts aside from The Bonus: A framed photo and a really sweet card.
Length of Time you Have worked for the Family: 10 months
I was really surprised by this generous bonus. Given the economy -- and the fact that I've seen my employers work hard to reduce spending and cut costs whenever possible -- I was anticipating something much smaller. My employers also took this opportunity to give me some very sincere, detailed positive feedback. I was already very happy at this job, but I feel even more grateful now to have found such wonderful employers.

Marin County, CA
I think I might work for the most generous family an the face of the planet. I have been with them for almost four years and we live in Marin County, California.I am their Nanny, Household Manager and Personal Assistant. My salary is directly deposited into my checking account each thursday at midnight and after taxes is $897.00. I have a full professional benefit package - 2 weeks paid vacation, paid holidays and sick days and my own choice of health insurance. I have received raises totaling 6% since the beginning of my employment. I work with a professional contract and we were brought together by a wonderful Nanny Agency. Every Christmas there is a cash bonus of $1,000 with a heartfelt card. But it is what they do during the year to demonstrate their appreciation that makes me feel as if I am the most valued employee.
In the first year of my employment (They had one child then) there were numerous cards of thanks of things that they felt I had done that went above and beyond my job description with gift cards to Banana Republic ($500.00), Benefit ($200.00) and the Mother's and my mutual favorite clothing store. ($300.00) For Christmas that year, they also gave me a video ipod.
The week of my second employment anniversary (they had just had baby #2) I turned 40 and they gave me the day off with pay along with a day of spa treatments. It was divine. As with the previous year, I would receive unexpected tokens of thanks from time to time that never failed to make me feel wonderful. The mother also sent me on several occasions to my favorite hair stylist for beautiful highlights. I was always overjoyed and stunned with her generosity.
Two weeks after my second employment anniversary, I went through an unexpected and extremely painful separation. My only salvation was that my employers insisted that I move at once into their guesthouse and work through my transition to a new home at my own pace. They let me live with them rent free for six months until I found my dream home. They refused to accept rent, which here in Marin County, California would have been at least $1000.00 a month, plus utilities. Instead we worked out some additional childcare time I could give them, some overnights, and some extra early mornings. It was during this time that we discovered that their accountants had not correctly calculated my withholding for the second year in a row. The first year, aghast that I owed some $3000+ I simply made a payment plan with the IRS. My employers were very upset that the situation had not yet been corrected and they insisted on giving me a check to pay what I owed, and hired a new accountant. When it came time for me to move they also insisted on gifting me with professional movers.
My third anniversary of employment came at a difficult personal time for me. In addition to the separation I was still coming to terms with, I was also grieving the death of one of my most favorite people - the parent that I had begun my Nanny career with, who was like a second father to me. I had seen him the day before his death and was shocked at his passing, and devastated that he had left behind two teenage girls - my first charges - who I loved and still had a very close relationship with. To say that I dropped the ball on my job responsibilities is an understatement. I was forgetful, distracted, and on more than one occasion, late for work with an obvious hangover. We had a serious meeting where I was told, straightforwardly, yet with obvious affection, to my shit together. I knew I could have been fired, with any other family I might have been fired, but by this time we were determined as parents and Nanny together to be a team raising their growing family. (They were now pregnant with #3) I pulled it together at once, counting my blessings and determined never again to let my personal life affect my job performance. They still gave me my generous Christmas bonus with a card thanking me for all that I do for them. Three months later the Mom gave me a beautiful ring, telling me it was my gift for the new baby, as I was going to be Mommy #2. (I must add that I have been infertile since childhood and became a Nanny to have the experience of raising children. This very beautiful gift brought me to tears.) I was so grateful that they had not given up on me during my time of personal turmoil. My bonus for taking such good care of the Mom during her postpartum period was another thrilling hair treatment - this time the new keratin straightening technique. I was in heaven.
And now here we are at another holiday season, and coming up on my forth anniversary of employment. I feel so grateful to be in a profession that I love and find so fulfilling, with employers that I adore, who in return make me feel valued each and every day. If it really takes a village to raise our children, I am thrilled to be a member of their village.

Unknown #3
I received an ornament and a gift card 50$ what a laugh.
Been watching girls for 4years.
My birthday was a fruit basket.
I spent a lot on the girls because I wanted to.


VAnanny said...

Um the employer who gave their nanny Victoria's Secret lingerie and stilettos from Fredericks's is just downright creepy. Gross.

Village said...

The sexualized gifts in the right size (???) are suggestive. The parents maybe looking for a threesome. FYI I've had boyfriends who couldn't buy bras in my size. I have to think there has been some snooping going on.

To the nanny in Marin who is thrilled over hair lightening, okay. Doesn't sound huge to me, but whatever floats your boat.

About the author said...

Must agree on all the current (and probably future) thoughts on the lingerie. My husband doesn't even know my size off-hand. He gets it pretty close but is usually a little off.
I wouldn't have accepted those gifts, expressing gratitude but discomfort.
I'm sure that'll be the one post everyone has something to comment on! :P

Unknown said...

I was wondering if I'd be the only one who thought it was odd that lingerie was given. A gift card to VS...maybe...but actually giving lingerie seems like crossing some sort of line (in my opinion)

Chicago Il said...

I am the nanny from Chicago who got the lingerie. I think my employer, female is trying to inspire confidence and a sense of adventure in me. I am from a very small town in Oklahoma. I do not think for a minute he, she or they have any sinister intentions towards me, but I did feel it was an odd gift, although I can see where it was well intentioned.

VAnanny said...

Um Chicago, how long have you been a nanny? While these gifts may have been intended in a positive light, they are still not appropriate. Lingerie and stilettos? Come on! As another poster mentioned, a VS gift card would have been fine but not lingerie in your size. I'm sorry but these gifts are just hardcore inappropriate. If your boss wanted to instill a "sense of adventure" in you, she could have taken you rock climbing or sky diving or something equally adventurous. Sexy lingerie does not qualify as adventurous. At least not in an appropriate way.

Momma Bear said...

This was a disappointing Christmas for me this year. I run an in-home daycare and preschool and I care for children from 5 families. Only 1 family acknowledged me this Christmas (with a $50 bonus). Nothing at all from the other families. Not even a card. This is my 5th year doing child care and this has never happened before. It just makes me a little sad and makes me wonder if there was something I did wrong this year. =( (Thanks for listening.)

toonces the cat who would drive a car said...

Please share this link with someone you know! ISYN is dying without regular nanny sightings....

ericsmom said...

No one else is a little pissed off with number one making almost $600. Under the table. Thats not fair both sides should be contributing to the system.

anti liberal agenda said...

I like the third one. Texas. Very straight and even. Three weeks service. Three weeks bonus.

As to Eric's mom,
I doubt that is the only person working under the table!

Me said...

When I was on the books I wasn't able to support myself after taxes. I got rent assitance, food stamps and my kid got covered by medicaid. Now that I am off the books, I pay my own way. I am even able to put aside a little each week and have a nice nest egg built up for my kids collge. The system is set up so that doing things on the up and up keeps you down. Under the table all the way!!!

nyc mom said...

In an ideal world everyone would be paid on the books, and certainly the under the table payment can be frustrating at times. But as Anti-Liberal said, I imagine there are a lot more off the books nannies than you would believe. Last year's PSP survey had 84% of nannies off the books and that's a very realistic estimate in my experience also. ISYN tends to attract a much more educated, experienced nanny demographic; plus, the disdain and attacks at anyone who admits being paid cash off the books leads to underreporting on here IMO. I think the preponderance of nannies paying their taxes on ISYN is skewed both in numbers and responder bias.

Anyway, it is always interesting to see these surveys. Amazing the range of bonuses from those I could never afford and make me feel inadequate to those that are blatantly unthoughtful and reassure me that we're doing the best we can with the resources we have to thank our nanny!

The lingerie gift reminds me of the weird sexual gifts someone got last year that the nanny was totally pleased with as being in sync with her sense of humor!

Happy Holidays to everyone and a special thank you from a mom to all the wonderful, kind, responsible nannies out there! Without you guys, I would be unemployed, crazy, divorced or all three : )

djembé said...

I think my employer, female is trying to inspire confidence and a sense of adventure in me.

Don't kid yourself. If she wanted to inspire confidence and a sense of adventure in you, she could have paid for martial arts classes or some other sort of continuing education, or maybe for a travel experience... but stuff to spice up your sex life? And knowing your sizes? Neither one of you has any idea whatsoever of appropriate boundaries.

MissMannah said...

I was unknown #2. Sorry, I forgot to put my location, which is Tulsa, OK. As for the nanny in Chicago, formerly of Okie, who got lingerie...yeah that is weird. If my boss gave me lingerie, I would be weirded out and possibly looking for a new job. Just didn't want y'all to think that is the norm around here.

tax fraud said...

Can someone please give me an acceptable reason why a nanny would work off the books and why a family would not put them on the books?

When I get a good answer I'll stop asking.

to the first one: you don't have the best family in the world or they would be paying you on the books.

AnnieRoo said...

Are you relatively close in size to your MB? Perhaps the Lingere and stilettos were itemsthat were purchased for herself, and she decided she did not want/need them. Rather than return them, she decided to give them to you......?

It is amazing to see such a range of bonuses and gifts. :o)

DT said...

MOmma Bear--it may have been the economy. This has been a tough year for everyone.

you are an fing idiot said...

I really hate to swear on ISYN but you know what?

To "Me": you are a fucking idiot.
you wrote: "When I was on the books I wasn't able to support myself after taxes. I got rent assitance, food stamps and my kid got covered by medicaid. Now that I am off the books, I pay my own way."

I'm really sorry but you are a fucking idiot. I know you cannot understand that at all, being a fucking idiot, but if you were not such a fucking idiot you would see that you are not paying your own way. You are participating in tax evasion.

Yes, in a "perfect world" everyone would pay taxes. However, that does not make it right for people who do not. It is dishonest and unacceptable in my opinion. You are proud of yourself for being dishonest? Great job. Be a hero.

Fucking idiot.

IHateBadLanguage said...

Please watch your language!
I can not take someone's opinion seriously who is not able to express oneself with out using swearwords!

VAnanny said...

Thank you Ihatebadlanguage. It truly does speak to one's intelligence level when they can't express their opinions without using such awful language.

ilikebadlanguage said...

oh blow it out your ass. Sometimes a situation calls for bad language.

to Ihate and VA: we know you piss rosewater.

AlsoHatesBadLanguage said...

I don't ever use the f-word but i applaud "you are an fing idiot." Sometimes the situation does call for strong language to get the right point across. I am also very angry with people who don't pay taxes. I do, and make very little money. It Is The Law! Period! If you can't afford it, get another job.

VAnanny said...

The F Bomb is not appropriate in ANY situation. I agree with foul mouth's point about taxes but it could have been expressed in a more dignified manner. Foul mouth- Your 2nd post just proves my point that you are of low intelligence! But thanks for a good laugh!

fuva said...


I respectfully fucking disagree with you. I am not unintelligent. I'm fucking smart you fuckwad.

VAnanny said...

Oh, my mistake! You sure do sound smart! "Fuckwad" is such a smart term! My apologies! Hope you can catch the sarcasm in there.

fuva said...


to me, a person of low intelligence is one who needs to tell people when she is being sarcastic. If you are intelligent and speak as if you are, we would see the sarcasm without a newsflash.


VAnanny said...

The reason I felt the need to state that I was being sarcastic is because of your obvious lack of intelligence. Anyway, I'm done with this conversation.

fuva said...

good. I'm glad you're done.
cus you're a boring fuckwad.

ineedcoffee1 said...

tax fraud, while i do not support full time work off the books, i can understand why it occurs.

If you are a parent employing a nanny full time to care for your child, you obviously have a responsibility to give that nanny livable wages. But lets say you can only afford to pay $500 a week in childcare. You feel its a fair wage considering the work and the cost of living in the location that you live in. But $500 is the max you can stretch it. If you put that nanny on the books, she will have to give up $75 a month, or almost $4000 a year, in wages. Maybe you, as an employer, feel sympathetic to your nanny. Perhaps she is trying to set aside money for her own kids, or she is a younger woman trying to put aside some savings. Or maybe $20,000 a year is simply not enough money for someone to survive on in the location that you live in, and you can not afford to throw in an extra $100 a month to account for the discrepancy after taxes.

And as a nanny, you are obviously willing to accept the money off the books because you get to keep ALL the money that you earn. Its shady, but its mutually beneficial in many situations, which is why it occurs in the first place.

AlsoHatesBadLanguage said...

While I agree it can be mutually beneficial, it is still fraud and should not be accepted. From your example, if $500 weekly is what someone can afford and it is the going rate for the area, the nanny should accept it and accept she has to pay income taxes on it. If $500 is way below the going rate for nannies in the area, you can't afford a nanny! It is quite simple. Don't live beyond your means and pay taxes on all your income. I make far lower than $500 weekly, in fact I don't know any nannies in my area who make that much and we are all easily able to survive off it.

ineedcoffee1 said...

something else i want to add...people are not always the most honest and scrupulous. While a parent could find a nanny share or a daycare in their price range as an alternative to paying a single individual off the books, most parents prefer to have one person giving their child undivided attention, and many will go about obtaining that goal in any manner that they please. I am sure many parents who pay their nannies under the table figure "hey, we have a great nanny working who is willing to accept a certain wage each month off the books, that wage is in our budget, she won't accept less, we can't afford to pay more, so lets just forget that pesky tax business and do what we have to do" many of the larger cities, people work off the books because they are not in the united states legally. Those people can not be paid on the books, they often charge lower wages, and can be great caregivers. A parent who finds an illegal immigrant who is great with kids and is willing to accept a low wage without taxes might not always be enthusiastic about giving up such a prospect because of the caregiver's legal status.

Again, I don't agree with this logic, i think if I have to pay taxes on my part time job than people should be paying taxes on their full time jobs, but I can definitely understand WHY this occurs. I don't know if these count as acceptable reasons to you, tax fraud, but they are just some of the reasons that people choose to work/pay off the books.

Alsohatesbadlanguage: I am not trying to justify tax fraud, just explain some of the reasons behind it. The $500 was just an amount i used to explain my point. I completely agree with you. Parents need to budget out a childcare amount each month and consider the taxes involved, and nannies must be willing to accept that amount as well.

AlsoHatesBadLanguage said...

That sums it up. People are not always honest and that is what bothers me most of all. I'm glad to see you don't condone it.

cali mom said...

Damn. Couldn't finish reading these because it's just too frickin depressing considering we only gifted 2 people outside of our immediate household and are nonetheless $800 short for all the overdue bills and upcoming mortgage paymebt and I interviewed at 2 different places last month and didn't get either job. Sorry, just had to vent.

Jack'sMom said...

If the nanny who received lingerie and stilettos is happy and comfortable with her gifts, then who are we to judge? Sure, it may be way outside the range of comfort for most of us, but for her it's OK. End of story.

I'm jealous over how much some nannies make! I work hard at a non-profit and am extremely fortunate to get a $300 bonus. I surely do miss the days when I worked at an investment bank and received over $10K in bonus each year... Ah, well.

I'm also grateful that when my own children were young, the going rate at their very excellent in-home day care was $135/week. I honestly don't know how young parents make ends meet these days.

MissDee said...

The Vickie's stuff is a bit extreme-I went out with this L-O-S-E-R who gave me a thong from Vickies. I protest thongs. I don't buy them; I love Vickie's undies but I only get hiphuhggers or boyshorts. Anyway, this moron gave me a thong that was much too small for me, without pricetag. I accepted the "gift", and when I cleaned out my car the next day, I wrapped Saran Wrap around my fingers, placing the "gift" in a Ziploc bag. I went to Vickies, told them I received it as a "present", and didn't want it. The salesgirl carefully examined it, wrapped it in tissue paper, tossed it in the garbage, and said, "I wouldn't want a used thong either." She mentioned it looked worn by someone else, laughed, and gave me full credit for it. Perhaps the "gifts" from Vickie's are the start of the family's true colors, as in they could be looking for something more than a nanny, if you know what I mean? I would see if you can take the "gifts" back for an in store credit, because I would be feeling uncomfortable, much like I did with that loser.

CaliMom: My thoughts are with you.

BB said...

Anyone who needs to use the F word to make their point is the true idiot, no number of explanations or protesting will change the fact. You simply cannot be taken seriously.

VAnanny said...

Thank you, BB. Glad to know I'm not alone. CaliMom, hope things get better for you!

Village said...

To the poster who can't write without obscenities and name calling, enough said about that very unhappy person.

To the nanny from Oklahoma, honey, you are naive. Very naive. And your employers are taking advantage of that by doing one thing (sexualizing you) and calling it something else, (more confidence you). They may want you to be more adventurous in your sexuality with her, him, or both. Often men have their wives groom the girl he wants to join them in bed.

You mustn't think this was innocent. It wasn't. Unless you want to join them in bed, you need to prepare yourself for the inevitable invitation, your absolute shock that this has happened, and their need to get rid of the evidence of their failure. If I were you, I would be looking for a new job. I think it's just going to be a matter of time before you will need one.

Anonymous said...

Whoops! I am Unknown #1 and I'm from NYC.

Anonymous said...

Miss Dee, oh my, that brought me back! Many years ago, for my birthday, my so called "boyfriend" gave me some silky undies. I expressed my gratitude, and put them aside. Later I checked them out only to discover, not only were they USED, they were quite STAINED!!!! When I confronted him he admitted they had belonged to his previous girlfriend! YUCK! I'm glad I examined them first, the "stain" looked like it was contagious!!!

lola said...

Oops didn't mean to post anonymous, my name is Lola, my bad. Learning how to post from my new phone.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

In all seriousness, I don't believe using the "F-word" makes someone an idiot, especially on an internet blog. "Father O'Malley, that was a fucking great sermon!" yep: that's idiotic. "Honey, pass the fucking salt." Yes, that's idiotic too. But I don't really think that is what is going on here. F-word mouth is trying to get people's goat and you know what? She did it. Congratulations to all who responded to her: she got to you enough to take the time and post about what a foul-mouthed idiot she is. It really is not that big a deal to me, in all seriousness. If you never swear, that is awesome and great for you. But it doesn't make you more intelligent than someone who occasionally does, and it does not mean they can not get their point across if they do not swear: they may just be choosing to.

Regarding tax fraud: any person who lists paragraphs and paragraphs of ligitimate "reasons" why people do not claim taxes: you are trying to justify it. You can call it something else and say you are just "trying to help us understand" but please. We understand why people are dishonest. No need to go on an on about it. They are dishonest because it would cost them money if they were not. So save it.

People should pay their taxes. End of story.

VAnanny said...

Dadiswrong-looks like she got you too!

Maybe one or two uses of the "F" word would have been overlooked. But not continual use coupled with childish insults. That just makes you look stupid and immature. And who says I never use foul language? I do at times but not on a public blog when trying to prove a point.

dadiswrongonthisone said...


She didn't "get" me. She got you. I don't have a problem with people who swear on blogs.

You are the one who said you were "done" with this conversation. Obviously you are not and that to me is immature. Sorry, just my opinion.

VAnanny said...

No, I stated I was finished arguing back and forth with Foul Mouth. Don't apologize as you have every right to your opinion. And so do I. But thanks for your input!

Enough Already! said...

vananny get a job

VAnanny said...

Have one! Oh no I forgot. I have two! And school full-time! But thanks!

:) said...


If I were your nanny family I would not be too pleased with all the time you spend on the

VAnanny said...

I'm off this week but again, thanks!!!

Enough Already! said...


Are you always this irritating or is it just on this blog?

VAnanny said...

No I'm usually always irritating. And I'll say it again, THANKS!

P.S. Insults via the internet do not hurt my feelings. Sorry to burst your bubble! But thanks for keeping me entertained on an otherwise boring day.

ineedcoffee1 said... annoy me endlessly. and we all know that you are changing your name so you can seem like different people being an asshole to the same person. Get a life. Maybe visit a therapist to deal with the anger issues you vent on this site. dumbass.

dadiswrongonthisone said...


We all know your MO is to assume you know who is posting what. And we also know you have been wrong before. Why should this time be any different?

Your long-winded post defending people who participate in tax fraud speaks very loudly. I think the dumbass is you.

cali mom said...

Have to agree with Dadiswrong on this one. People who don't pay taxes make that decision because they want to keep the money. Not so hard for any fucking idiot to understand, and language variations were invented for a reason. That is, verbal EXPRESSION. So, one person can choose to say "you're a fucking idiot" and another one can choose to say "I feel that you are below me in perceived intelligence level because you have chosen to express yourself using words that are forbidden in broadcast media". It still means they are calling somene a fucking idiot, albeit in in a longwinded, pretentious way instead of a plain way, but if they choose to do so it doesn't make THEM more stupid than the person who likes to use the more colorful expression.

VAnanny said...

Cali Mom- I agree with Dadiswrong and the other posters who say that nannies/families not paying taxes is wrong. And I am very sorry you feel that I think people are idiots and that I am pretentious. That is truly not the case. Just as everyone else has a right to state their opinion on this blog, I do too. I made one comment about the language and then responded to being called a "fuckwad" (NOT a witty/intelligent comeback, I will say) and various other menial insults. I would never want to make someone feel like an idiot and I would certainly hope that my comments would not make someone feel beneath me. That was not my intention. I understand that you have lots going on right now but don't feel the need to be thrown under the bus by you. I always have enjoyed reading your posts because you usually always have very valid points. Just wanted you to know where I was coming from. Ypu are in my thoughts. I have been there many a times but I hope things get better for you and your family.

cali mom said...

I was about to come back and say, thanks VAnanny and Miss Dee for your kind thoughts. VAnanny, I sure didn't mean to sound slike I was "throwing you under the bus" for your opinion, so I'm sorry you felt that way. People just have different ways of expressing themselves, and in this context, to me it's 6 of one half dozen of the other.

VAnanny said...

Very good point. Good luck to you.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

Well said, Cali mom. It really does mean the same thing.

Happy Holidays to you. You're fucking cool. ;)

ineedcoffee1 said... are the one who is consistently wrong and unable to accept it. Our last argument occurred because i told you the going rate for a high school babysitter in the very expensive area that i live in. This one is occurring because another poster asked WHY tax fraud occurs. I answered her with all the reasons i know of. Stop insulting people you disagree with. Its juvenile and makes you seem like you can't handle anyone disagreeing with you. I deal with enough idiots like you in real life without having to argue with some obnoxious frustrated idiot in bumbfuck nowhere.

dadiswrongonthisone said...


I can see such anger and disdain in your words. You need something stronger than coffee. I'm sorry you are so dissatisfied with your life that you let people on blogs get you so worked up.

Or have you tried reading? That relaxes me if I feel edgey.

Good luck with your anger. I hope you can find some peace.

Nom de Plume said...

The woman being paid under the table who used to pay taxes while receiving welfare and food stamps was likely getting all her money back from those paid taxes. Shes being paid under the table now because she no longer qualifies for these things because she used up her allotment.
I agree with dad- potty mouth got you all the second you all started protesting. You brought yourself to the same level with the childish bickering that ensued.

MissMannah said...

I just wanted to point out that you can swap your unwanted gift card for one you'll like at It just kind of bothered me that a couple of nannies were complaining about not wanting the gift they were given. Hey, I'll take them off your hands if it really that bad!

I can't believe all the bickering that is going on here. What is wrong with you people? "You're wrong, I'm're a're an're an idiot." I thought we were the adults and we only take care of children? I guess some of us choose to act like children when we're off work for too long.

Ha! said...

Anyone who thinks that using the F word to make a point is acceptable and doesn't damage the user's reputation or weaken the validity of the ought to try it under the following circumstances:

The next time you are on a job interview.

The next time a cop pulls you over.

The next time you meet with your child's teacher.

The next time you are in small claims/traffic court.

The next time you talk to your kids.

VAnanny said...

Reposting this. Did not mean to post as annonymous.

If I had known that commenting on a poster's foul language and then retaliating after being isulted would upset so many, believe me, I would not have done it. My sincere apologies to those who were "offended". My definition of "right and wrong" may not necessarily be someone else's. But I thought that this blog was a place for EVERYONE to state their opinions. That was my opinion. As I have said so many times, everyone is entitiled to think and do as they please. Different opinions are what make the world go 'round. I would never jump down someone's throat because they stated their opinion in a mature and civilized fashion. The only reason I got ugly was because I was insulted. Right? Absolutely not. I did bring myself to the same level as the person who used the language in the first place. I can apologize for that. But I will not apologize for stating a valid opinion. I respect those posters who choose to make their point in a way that is not insulting, demeaning, or just downright mean. I'm sure I will get crap for this post as well and that's fine.

cali mom said...

Sorry Ha but that's just plain silly. That's like saying that because you don't feel that everyone who drinks a beer now and then should rot in hell for their sins that people should go to work or school drunk, feed beer to babies, or drive drunk. I'll type whatever I damn well fucking please on an internet blog (ESPECIALLY if it annoys you!), on the assumption that people reading it are grownups, not impressionable children who will repeat the word to their grandparents to see what happens, but I don't make a point of using the F word around my son or when I'm helping out at hhis kindergarten. Because, well, he's only 5 and presumably has not developed his judgemental faculties for assessing proper behavior in various contexts as one might assume that *most* adults reading this blog would have.

And thanks, dadiswrong. You're fucking awesome too!

VAnanny said...

Different strokes for different folks. Just as you said earlier with your 6/half dozen analogy.

unbelievable said...

Ich kann nicht glauben, dass es sich hier um erwachsene Menschen handeln soll. Traurig, traurig.

Aren't we all adults here? said...

No offense but all the bickering on here made me not even want to post a comment. Aren't we all adults on this site? If someone uses foul language just dont read the post. Over look it, who cares?

ANYWAY- At least the second part of the bonuses doesn't seem like the ungrateful people who sent in for the first one. A lot of people seemed really happy to even be thought of during the holidays.
Good job nannies. Appreciating what you got is a wonderful thing. Even the smallest (thoughtful) gift can show enormous appreciation.

Vicki Secrets-No, No, No. said...

To the nanny who got Victoria Secrets should find a new job ASAP. I'm not gonna make any point that hasn't already been made but it's time to get a new job. I would be completely offended if they snooped through my things to find out my size and even more sickened by the fact that they bought me such sexual gifts. That would never be tolerated in a corporate job and the same goes for this type of work as well. It's out of line and wrong on so many levels. Run while you can.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

cali mom,

I completely agree: as I said before, there is a time and place for everything: obviously we do not swear around children or police officers.

And thank god that people like you and me can find a place in our lives to express ourselves the way we see fit. I salute Richard Pryor, Eminem, Howard Stern, Sam Kinison, and everyone else who is/was not P.C. It would be a dull world if we all were.

cali mom said...

And don't forget SNL, (the "penis" sketch), Lenny Bruce and Mae West, who was also jailed on obscenity charges.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

hehe right on! and don't forget Dick in a Box

"Step one: cut a hole in a box,
Step two, make her open the box
step three, put your junk in that box and that's the way you do it..."

lol even timberlake has a sense of humor. :)

"Bring it on down to Omlettville!"


you are an fing idiot said...

Calimom is a fuckwasd loser that's why she's out of work for so long. People won't hire morons!

you are an fing idiot said...

I meant to say FUCKWAD sorry for the typo!

cali mom said...

Aw, happy new year to you too cuntface :)

Been around the blog. said...

It's a long standing issue here. Certain people can't disagree without resorting to name calling and vulgarities. Cali Mom is one of them. That' why I rarely bother to post here anymore and just lurk. I've been the recipient of her condescending nastiness once too often. Not that she offends me but who needs it?! She is incapable of having an intelligent discourse. She's childish, one step above a troll and always needs to have the last word. Her favorite word is cunt (C U Nest Tuesday) I suspect that's because it takes one to know one. :D

world's best nanny said...

Whoever mentioned, thank you so very very much.

I got a gift card back in November to Torrid. It's a plus sized store but the clothes are a bit "trampy" for me.

I sold it and bought one to Penney's so I am very happy, thanks!

dadiswrongonthisone said...

always has to have the last word? lmao! now that is funny. trolls calling other people trolls! lolol! too funny how you call someone a swear and you can't even spell it right! maybe you should swear more! lol

rock on, Cali mom! you're fucking awesome! :)

VAnanny said...

Well said, Been around the blog!!! Dadiswrong is similar. Maybe that is why they are besties. On another note, love this blog and hope everyone (including CaliMom and dadiswrong) have a safe and happy new year.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

VA nanny:

take a flying leap. you insult me and then wish me a happy new year? You can take your happy new year and shove it up your elitist crappynanny ass. I really hate fake people like you.

VAnanny said...

Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Your insults and nastiness do not bother me so you are wasting your breath.

CuriousDad said...

On the under the table paycheck.

It is not only the Nanny avoiding taxes that removes money from the State/Federal government coffers. It is also the bosses avoiding taxes, and avoiding certain other legal requirements. Like the labor laws and FMLA etc..

The families taxes can be 11% or more above what the family pays the Nanny on the books, depending on the state. This plus the required paper work. Which if they use an outside resource, will also be an expense. All this deducts from the wage the family can afford. So if the family can afford $500 a week, the family needs to subtract $55 or more from that weekly budget to pay a Nanny. This is before they pay the Nanny, in this case it would be $445 a week paycheck before the Nanny’s taxes are taken out which might be another 15%. The Nanny might take home $378.25 a week after taxes. This of course does not take into account any withholding adjsutments, EIC statements and such. I am by no means a tax advisor.

However accepting a wage under the table means the Nanny does not get Unemployment Insurance in case they lose their job. They do not get FMLA protection, they do not get any of the protections given by any Labor laws what so ever. Unless they go to court and prove they were being paid under the table, Which means they just swore in court they were breaking the law.

They also remove their taxes away from the service that government supplies to everyone (road, schools, Emergencies services, Child protection agencies, water/sewer and etc..)

dadiswrongonthisone said...

VA nanny, we can see right through you. If it did not bother you you would not have responded. You say others always have to have the last word? You are the one who always has to have it!

Insulting someone and then wishing them a happy new year is ridiculous. Why are you so fake? Your comments do bother me because I know you take care of kids and I feel so bad for them that they have a massive elitist fake ass for a nanny. I really do feel bad for them.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

p.s. good point dad: you are rightonthisone. tax fraud hurts everyone and people who try to justify it are just spinning their wheels.

VAnanny said...

Um, psycho? I never said you had to have the last word. That was been around the blog. I've been with 2 families for years so they must love their "fake, elitist nanny". I'm LOL'ing. Literally. It's hilarious how angry you get over someone you do not know on an Internet blog. You must have no life. NOW I am insulting you. I tried to be nice. But you push things too far.

Good points Dad. You always have good points.

VAnanny said...

And do NOT bring the kids I nanny for into your trivial arguements. You are sad. Really.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

you are so not "lol"ing. :) we know you are not.

and they already been brought, biaach. perhaps their parents are elitist fakeasses too which is why they like you!

poor kids.

VAnanny said...

Haha. You are so sad dude. Seriosuly. The numerous other posters who have expressed their dislike for you speak volumes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phoenix said...

To be perfectly honest most people who try and pay the right amount of taxes are f'en idiots...

I am a CPA our 'JOB' is to find new and inventive ways to screw the IRS, So 'YOU' the paying customer can get a nice big fat refund. Being paid under the table is better than what you do every single year on your taxes. So my professional advice we are all criminals just different kinds.

ChelleLeigh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phoenix said...

And you seriously think law abiding citizens who pay taxes are good people?! Holy Jesus that is the most nieve stupid thing i've ever heard in my entire flippin life!

Did you know that if you are a drug dealer the IRS wants you to declare your 'gains' from drug dealing. But you can't declare your losses. So in effect the Gov't does not give a shit if you deal drugs as long as you pay into the system. But if you are greedy and don't... they will take you down. This is one of the most back-ward corrupt broke as countries in the world. Cops can and gov't officials can be bought and the average little nanny being paid $500 under the table pisses you off? I can't even argue with that kind of ignorance.

pay your taxes said...


A CPA's job it not to screw the IRS. My aunt is a CPA. Trying to get your customer what is coming to them is not trying to screw the IRS. It is legal. It is called doing your job well. It is no more screwing the IRS than a plumber fixing your toilet and saving you on your water bill is "screwing the water department."

You sound ignorant, like a college co-ed who wants to have a sit in and "stick it to the man."

Yes, the "little nanny" who is not claiming her paycheck and the "little nanny family" who is not claiming her make me angry because I myself am in childcare and I claim everything I make. These "little nannies" pulling in thousands of dollars a week to text on their phones and give twitter updates to their skeevy boyfriends while they are supposed to be caring for babies? Don't make me laugh. I weep for them, really. Not.

Nobody ever said that people who pay their taxes deserve a reward or that they are always law-abiding citizens. Nobody ever said that. But paying your taxes does not make one stupid. If you do not pay your taxes, you are not a law abiding citizen and you are in the wrong for so many reasons.

Not paying your taxes is dishonest. You can use every excuse in your book and you will not convince anyone with a brain.

Bloomfield babysitter said...

Phoenix makes a good point. My sister- in-law works for H & R Block and has for the past 20 years. (She is a CPA who owns her own business and trains other tax pre-preparers.) And yes, in plain English , she and those she trains are paid by clients to find every loop hole, every trick and use any means she can to beat the IRS and exploit the tax laws. A nanny taking in $500.00 off the books is 'stealing' a lot less than the guy making 6 figures a year before the decimal who pays a CPA to legally 'steal'. Some of the stories she tells....In truth, very few people are honest and most will get whatever they can when they can. I try not to judge anyone.

As for the fighting going on here-I side with VA Nanny and the others. I think some of you have gotten particularly foul and personal and it was quite unnecessary. But that's just my opinion.

Happy New Year everyone.

pay your taxes said...

Bloomfield Babysitter,

Stealing is stealing. Phoenix's point that "we are all criminals" is ridiculous. A criminal breaks the law. Finding loopholes is not illegal. It is not stealing. It is not exploiting the IRS. In a sense it is unfair that some people can afford to hire the best CPA's and get the best tax deals, but it is no different than people who hire high priced attorneys as opposed to public defendors. It is no different than the Red Sox being able to afford better players than a team with fewer assets.

So in short, you are incorrect, just like Phoenix. Trying to justify tax fraud is ridiculous.

Phoenix said...

pay your taxes...

Here is another point. The downfall of Enron... I know you have heard of it. The company did nothing illegal at all. They found loop holes. So to defunk your loop hole statement. Loop holes do more damage than you can imagin. Only now do we have the necessary controls in place to deal with such a large loop hole as Enron. So please find someone that was a part of WorldCom and Enron ask them 'Don't you feel good though that your company didn't break the law? it was just a loop hole'

pay your taxes said...

Many companies go belly up for a number of reasons, including unwise choices and risk taking. Yours is a poor example.

Laws are made every day and old ones are improved upon.

There is legal.

And there is illegal.

Phoenix said...

Or how about criminals (murderers) that go free because the justice system neglected to do one intsy little thing... loop hole criminal goes free and kills more people.

The point is the world is not made of marshmallows and sometimes doing the right thing is not always the best thing. Look at the people who make your laws. Some really don't make any sense. A CPA and an attorney are used to screw the gov't and the judicial system that is their job. A loop hole is just the legal was to get ass raped.

Phoenix said...

You obvisouly don't know very much about the scandal of Enron and WorldCom. What they did was 'LEGAL' so when you state that loop holes are 'LEGAL' I ask you to think about what that means. Sometimes 'LEGAL' things are just as bad as illegal things. You have to judge the situation not the law. Think about life critically. If you constantly are set in stone about something then you must live by it. That means if God forbid something ever went wrong in your life and you had to steal to eat... you better not do it and starve to is illegal to steal. Think about the bigger picture and don't argue with someone who is a professional in their field it makes you look dumb.

So back to the post. I support nanny under the table (I can tell you more tax laws if you'd like that actually can make this legal...nice loop hole I might add)

And the little girl who got victoria secret stuff... that is very strange and I would be curious as to how they would know my size... personally I would be scared.

pay your taxes said...


I do not support nannies being paid under the table. I am set in stone on this particular issue.

Stealing food if I am starving? I don't believe that is the issue at hand. If it were, I am not sure what I would do. I suppose I would first go to a food bank or a shelter before stealing. If that were not an option, I guess I would have to re-evaluate my situation.

I do not believe my opinion on this issue makes me sound dumb regardless of your being a professional in your field. Many many people share my opinion. You may be a professional in your field, but my opinion is just as valid as yours. I do look at life critically. You assume things about me that you could not possibly know.

? said...

Phoenix, are you comparing H&R Block workers to scandelous employees at Enron? That is a bit of a stretch.

Tizzilish said...

I keep coming on here and checking the comments with the vain hope that it will actually revert back to a discussion about the bonuses. Unfortunately, I am contiually disappointed.

hit the road jack said...


don't let the door hit ya where god splits ya. we are discussing to pay taxes or not to pay taxes, a relevant issue regarding nanny pay.

Tizzilish said...

I understand that. I am merely observing what is being discussed. And it has resorted to attacks between a few posters and very little discussion on the actual posting on the site.

Loopholes are Real said...

I agree with Phoenix's message here. Loopholes can be just as unethical as illegal tax evasion. But since loopholes are okay to those of you who view the Legal Code as the Law of God here's the relationship I'm going to have with my childcare provider.

My nanny is now considered a very close, personal friend. As a close friend, my husband and I are going to "gift" her $13,000 each annually. She does not need to mention this on her taxes in any way. I will also gift my mother $13,000. My mother, who has now become close friends with our nanny, is then going to gift our nanny $13,000 each year. My Nanny will then have $39,000/year of money that was previously ours, but is now hers, as a gift because she is our BFF. Alternatively we have also offered to pay for our BFF's school directly because educational payments are another wonderful tax loophole and nontaxable. She may choose this instead of a gift from my Mom. This is remarkably similar to the amount we were paying our old nanny, but our nanny is no longer a nanny - she's our buddy. Because she is our BFF, she adores our kids and WANTS to spend oodles of time with them every week. She wants to spend about 50 hours a week with them in fact. And she wants to do their laundry, cook their meals, and take them to classes and school. I offered to pay her, but she refused any payment. She wants to watch our kids as a friend and a special aunt. Since our nanny has no reportable IRS income, she will also qualify for all government funded aid programs such as Medicaid, public assistance, food stamps, and subsidized housing.

I feel so much better now that I've decided to obey the law and stop paying my Nanny under the table. Before my nanny was reporting most of her income and paying taxes on it, but was claiming it was for work as a houskeeper since housekeepers can be independent contractors and she does some housekeeping. But we discussed it and she understands that was an unethical lie - those taxes she was paying were not accurate. So she won't be reporting any income anymore since she doesn't legally have any. And she won't be paying any taxes anymore since she doesn't legally have to do so.

We both feel so much better about ourselves since the Law is the Law. Yes, this is a loophole. But loopholes are not illegal. They are not stealing and they are not exploiting the IRS. So I can sleep easy. Goodnight : )

good point Phoenix said...

As long as you're all aware that she will never be eligible for disability, unemployment or family leave benefits or have anything to claim for social security once she's 65 and no longer your best friend, then happy trails!

gym rat said...

Loopholes are Real
DAMN! I almost fell out of my chair reading your post! And I was just about to say, "Great job for innocently sticking it to the man!" until I was brought back down to earth by good point Phoenix's post. How very true. Your nanny will be the one to ultimately be losing in the end here. So much for sticking it to the man, huh? He will come back around in the end to get his somehow.

Pay your taxes said...

That's also oh so great until your nanny wants to apply for a loan, mortgage, even a credit card and is unemployed with no income. Then what?

Seems like your loophole bites her in the ass if she wants to progress anywhere in life.

CuriousDad said...

You are not exploiting a loop hole that will stand up in court. You are bypassing the law on reporting income. Many Courts do not only define the breaking the law as written, but they also will define breaking the "spirit" of the law. In other words the intent behind the law when it was written.
I am sure "Gifts" have been used in the past to avoid documenting workers and they have been persecuted when found out by the IRS. That is too easy of a loop hole to see, and I doubt the IRS is that idiotic.

If she decides to get a Job. She cannot put down on her resume working for you and you as her Boss. Since as soon as you admit that she is your employee to anyone. You both are now guilty of tax evasion.

As I am a disinterested third party, if I found out something like this it would be a nice chunk of change for me. To the tune of 15%-30% of what ever taxes are owed on the 39,000 you just paid your Nanny I mean “BFF”.

If your going to go through all that trouble to avoid taxes, just pay the nanny under the table.

CuriousDad said...

Now from a bosses perspective, who is beholden to a higher authority on his hiring and firing decisions.
As the nanny and you are going to follow the letter of the law. The nanny of course will not put down they were working for those period of years they were your BFF.

This shows they have had NO real world experience with work. Dealing with co-workers, customers and bosses. Sure the nanny can put down she was in school during that period. But, so would many candidates I would get. Pieces of paper saying graduate are a dime a dozen. I will tend to select the person who was in school and worked over at McDonalds for minimum wage over that nanny I mean your BFF. To me they did not just coast through school but had to juggle work along with school.
If I did find out she was working under the table prior to or during the interview period. I would tend to put her towards the bottom of the pile, if not into the circular file. To not go into the circular file would mean one stellar resume in a really desirous field. Seriously, why would I want someone who lacks integrity to work for me? There is the law and there is the spirit of the law. Violating the last is as bad to me as violating the first. That includes legally exploiting loop holes in taxes that violate the spirit of those deductions.

dadiswrongonthisone said...

well said, Dad! You are rightonthisone.

Loopholes are Real said...

You need only 40 quarters of work at roughly $1090/quarter to qualify for social security, less for disability. My BFF has this already since she's been working since 14yo. Family Leave benefits are simply unpaid leave - not a benefit me or my BFF consider valuable. Unemployment is a real one, but since my BFF was previously reporting her income as a self-employed housekeeper and not paying into unemployment, this is no change from prior.

As far as loans and mortgage, we will gladly co-sign for our BFF. She won't have trouble getting a loan. Or we will loan it to her directly instead of gifting her money and later forgive the loan - another common way money is legally exchanged to bypass taxes.

She won't have a significant work gap. She has many years of gainful employment that are documented including years with us as our "housekeeper" that we will gladly provide a reference for. We are quite successful and our name will carry a lot of weight in speaking to her core work ethic and character. I hire and manage people at my regular job also, and unlike Curious Dad, I would be impressed with our nanny's resume. She's been working hard her whole life. She has now chosen to reduce her work hours so she can focus on school for 2-3 years to more quickly get her degree and pursue another field. As someone who hires employees, I would be impressed with her work history, ability to focus on schooling, and that she had formed such a close relationship with a prior employer that they were essentially funding her way through school.

My point seems to be getting lost in the shuffle here: I AGREE that exploiting loopholes is equally as unethical as breaking the law. I do not use the Legal Code as my moral compass, as many on here seem too. Thus, I am able to think beyond the black and white: legal = good; illegal = bad. I can consider issues critically and make my own decisions, rather than letting the legislature by my conscience. Thus, my continued confusion at people on here who argue that the Law is the rule by which we should live our lives. To them, my BFF is making a moral choice, but nannies being paid under the table are not. I DISAGREE with this and am using an example to highlight the flaw in that kind of thinking.

i pay taxes said...

loopholes are real:

you are a cheater and a liar. I would not brag about it if I were you.

I think Dad said it best with the word "integrity."

True, one should not view the world in blacks and whites. However, you are copping out by implying that your actions are merely "open minded" when they are, in essence, dishonest and without integrity.

Loopholes are Real said...

Apparently some posters truly cannot think outside the box. I am astounded that I have to do this given that I have spoken with so many intelligent folks on here before. But I guess I need to be even more literal to avoid confusing anyone else.

The situation I am presenting is HYPOTHETICAL. I do not employ a nanny off the books. Nor do I have a nanny I am going to turn into my BFF. I am presenting a situation to challenge the view posted above (I think by Pay Your Taxes in response to Phoenix, but perhaps others also) that exploiting loopholes is somehow more morally acceptable than paying off the books.

It's sad that I have to come back and make this so literal. Sad that we can't exchange viewpoints about on/off the books, laws, morality and other broader topics without it CONSTANTLY reverting to a simple "you're a liar if you don't pay your taxes." Life is not this straightforward. Issues and human beings are more complicated, and topics this important deserve more discussion. I guess there are still folks who will revert to using the Law as their guide for Moral Living, but I will never be one of them. I've seen first hand how laws are made, what the considerations are, and personally know many of the people making these decisions. They are rarely made out of pure motives or a belief that they are for the good of the people. The motive is usually financial gain, and that is not what I personally want to guide my code of ethics.

i pay taxes said...

Loopholes are real:

you are a liar if you don't pay taxes. sorry but it's true. why are you trying to sugar coat it? if you are presenting a hypothetical situation or not, you are still defending people who do not pay their taxes. please. if you don't want to follow the rules, go live in the freaking jungles of some third world country. you are a disgrace who can insult our intelligence all you want to. but you are a liar if you do not pay taxes. how can you possibly say you are not?

thinking outside the box is fine when it applies to certain situations. but not this one. if your child came to you and said, "Mom, I really want to have sex with this girl but she won't let me, what should I do?" would you say, "Think outside the box, honey. Come up with a way to rape her. It's only being creative and that silly rape law was made up by the government."

cali mom said...

Loopholes are Real said...
...Family Leave benefits are simply unpaid leave -

You just showed your ignorance. This varies by state, but in California, it's a paid beneit you apply for, just like unemployment, which makes up PART of your missing salary should you need pregnancy-related medical leave, bonding time with a new child (adopted or biological), time to care for an aging parent or a spouse who is battling cancer, etc.

Long winded proclamations of how you are better able to "think outside the box" than the little people who pay their taxes make you no less of a dishonest CHEAT than anyone else who screws the IRS, and therefore, screws all the law abiding workers.

I pay taxes really summed it up with the example of a rape law. You cannot justify a rape by saying that because you are able to think outside of the box, you are better able than most to come up with an informed personal decision whereby the fact that the young woman was drunk and wearing a tight miniskirt made her refusals of your advances questionable enough that you felt you could rationally conclude that when she said no she reall meant yes and she was just trying to kick you in the nuts because she enjoys rough sex-play, therefore by way of all these perfectly logical loopholes, the sex was consensual so no rape tok place.

Really? said...

Loopholes are Real,

How can you say you are describing a hypothetical situation when you have gone into such detail about your nanny? You've talked about how she was your housekeeper, how she's in school, how she has worked since she was 14 years old etc. Are you saying you made up all this stuff to illustrate your point? It's a pretty detailed account with very specific examples just to prove that there are loopholes in the law. I think you are going back on yourself because you realize you are wrong to be doing what you are doing.

VAnanny said...

Loopholes-I was pretty much with you until you described your situation as hypothetical. Are you saying you made up all of those points just to illustrate a point? I'm confused.

VAnanny said...

Meant to say all of those details. Not points. Whoops.

Loopholes are Real said...

Yes, it was a hypothetical situation. A made up example. Not my real life. I pay my nanny on the books and have no intention of converting her to a friend I gift money to each year. I can afford it so it's not an issue for us, but I certainly have the ability to understand how the choice is not as easy for some. I was simply trying to have a discussion about morality and the law, but I realize now it was a waste of time.

However, all the issues I suggested are completely legal loopholes. The Family Leave I was referring to is FMLA which is a federal law mandating 12 weeks of unpaid leave to an employee meeting several other conditions - basically a way of preserving their job after family illness or childbirth. I am not familiar with a paid benefit in NY, but perhaps I am ignorant on this topic. I don't claim to know everything.

Once again, the point of the example was to illustrate that you can be unethical while still operating within the limits of the law. It was not an example to show how exploiting loopholes is smart or wonderful - thus the purpose of the rape example as it relates to my point is completely lost on me. In fact, it seems to further my point - which is that the laws should NOT govern morality. Thus saying something is right simply BECAUSE it's legal or wrong simply BECAUSE it's illegal is not a valid argument for me. There are lots of reasons why paying under the table is unethical, but illegal is not a convincing one for me. There are laws I choose not to follow, albeit generally minor ones, and I'm aware that should I get caught there are consequences which I accept as a citizen of the US.

I don't smoke pot anymore since having kids, but I did in college. And I continue to think that the marijuana laws in this country are too severe, so I felt morally sound in breaking that law. However, I was also aware that if caught I could be arrested and/or have to pay a fine. I was okay with that since I felt and still feel that these laws are unjust. Get it? Sadly, I think the answer is going to remain: no, you don't get it Cali Mom and I Pay Taxes. I imagine you are going to respond with another unrelated rant about to the effect of "if you don't pay taxes you are evil." Yes, I get your opinion here. You've stated it over and over and over again, with no interesting thoughts beyond that.

And I'm done trying to engage in intelligent discourse on this topic unless someone actually has an interesting thought beyond "paying taxes is good, cheating is bad." It's a shame it's not possible to have a thoughtful discussion about this on ISYN.

cali mom said...

I do get that your basic point is that, if you consider yourself smarter than the average bear, it should be a matter of personal choice as to which laws should apply to you and which ones are OK for you to ignore.

My unchanging opinion is that anyone who works or *pays* FT/perm OFF the books is not only an asshole but very stupid and leaving themselves wide open to disaster at the hands of either their employee or their boss. Taxes aside, labor laws were made for good reasons and without them, neither party has any legal recourse in any situation whatsoever.

Enough already!!!!!! said...

Wow this board has gotten so off topic. Can we get back to the bonuses. To the people personally attacking one another: grow up!! Take your insults and childish antics somewhere else! If you have to resort to name calling and bringing up peoples charges (who by the way you probably know nothing about) then no matter how right you might have been, you've completely crossed the line. You can Disagree without making it personal.

I think a lot of nannies on this second installment sounded so grateful to have received anything. Good for you nannies! Keep up the great work in this new year!

pay your taxes loophole! said...

enough already:

this is totally on the topic. eat my shorts, we are talking about an issue and if you don't want to talk about it than just shut up.


Just because you cannot convice people of your opinion does not make it a waste of time. All opinions are valid. But no, you will not convince people like myself and Cali mom that not paying taxes is ever ok.

I think if you knowingly do something illegal, it is unethical unless it is a matter of survival, like a starving person stealing food or a freezing child stealing a coat.

No, tax fraud does not make you "evil" but it does make you wrong. Sure, some of us who pay our taxes do other horrible things. But the issue here is taxes. Not making pot legal or anything else.

Enough already!!! said...

I never mentioned the tax talk, did I? No. I said the name calling and personal attacks had gotten out of hand. Before suggesting I eat your shorts why don't you read what I actually wrote. I think the tax topic is a good. It's been a topic on this board many times. Everyone has their own personal opinion, yes not paying taxes is against the law but personally attacking someone because they don't won't resolve anything.

seriously?????????? said...

enough already: i think it's interesting that you are criticizing bickering while doing it yourself.

had enough of enough said...

enough already,

why don't you go back to junior high? you honestly sound like you are 11 years old.

Hey Loophole! said...

I understand what you are saying, and I think you made some excellent points. What I don't understand is how some of the people here didn't understand it was hypothetical, and a way to make a point?

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, you aren't alone and I thought your points were valid.

DesignNanny said...

if you and your wife/husband go out every weekend and you dont have a nanny or anything like that and you hire a weekend babysitter who is a college student or even a high school student are you going to make them pay taxes for watching your children EVERY weekend?

Me said...

Of course they do Designnanny! They are far too honest to do anything but! They either make sure that high school kid is an independant contractor, who fills out a 1099 form at the end of each year, or they do all the paperwork themselves for their datenight sitter. They also don't tip the postal carrier at the holidays because they know that giving your postal carrier a monetary tip is against the rules of the post office and grounds for dismissal therefore postal workers who receive monetary gifts don't claim them even though they can get thousands each year. But these holier than thous never would break the law, they are above board in everything they do.