Nanny is Overwhelmed by Mom's Anxiety Issues and Dad's Boxers

Received Thursday, September 3, 2009
Perspective and Opinion on ISYN First and foremost, I love ISYN so much! Thank you to all you nannies and parents who make this site what it is today. :)

I really need some advice. Okay here's my predicament:
I recently started a new part-time nanny position for a 2 1/2 yr old adorable little boy. Sometimes the father is there when I get there and sometimes the mother is. Anyway, the other morning the father was there and as I sat in the living room, he stepped out to say, "Good Morning" to me. Problem was, he was wearing his boxer briefs and a shirt only. A minute later, he stepped out and was buckling up his pants. Now, I know now a days showing underwear is not a big deal and maybe I am just being old-fashioned, but if it was my hubby, I would not be too happy that he greeted the nanny in his boxers. What do you guys think? Was this inappropriate?

Also, another problem. The mother has severe anxiety issues (she has told me this) and if she calls during my shift and cannot reach me IMMEDIATELY by cell or house phone, she rings again and again until I answer. If I do not answer WHEN she calls immediately, she scolds me when I finally do return the call. Case in point. I was bathing the little boy the other morning, and I do not take my cell phone in the bathroom. I guess I have heard of too many horror stories about folks dropping them into the sink, toilet, etc....and I would never think of bringing their house phone in the bathroom as well for the same reasons. Well, I was bathing the child for about 13 minutes. And Guess What??! She just happened to call me during this time frame. When I was finished, I immediately checked my phone and there were like 8 missed calls in like 10 minutes!!!! When I finally called her back, she scolded me for not answering my phone and told me in no uncertain terms....I should NEVER be away from a phone. She said I was to always be reachable. I explained I was bathing the child and it would be too dangerous for me to answer a phone anyway while doing so, but she was mad. That is when she told me about her anxiety issues. I think it is reasonable to worry after say 15 minutes or so, but there are times when I simply cannot answer the phone. This was never mentioned when I took the job by the way.

Other than these two issues, the job is working out and I interviewed for a month before I got this position so I know how tough Nanny jobs are to get due to this economy. I live in Orange County CA.

ISYN readers....please help me? Are these deal-breakers or am I over reacting?? All advice is welcomed.


ChiNanny said...

I think the boxers thing isn't a big deal. If he was acting normal and not flirting, he probably didn't think anything of it. I would brush it off and move on unless it happens repeatedly and you feel as though you must say something.

As far as the mom and the phone. If she wants you able to answer the phone, then make sure to bring her house phone in the bathroom with you and anywhere else in the house with you. If it falls in the water, you can tell her what happened and she'll have to replace it, but if it's important to her I think you need to be as reachable as possible. Her anxiety may also taper off with time, so maybe the phone calls will lessen, but every time you aren't answering you add to the anxiety.

just another mommy said...

I wouldn't consider either of those things deal breakers. If the dad reappears in his boxers again, you could avert your eyes in a very purposeful manner (maybe even cover them) so he gets the hint that you aren't wanting to be exposed to him in that way.

As for the mom, well, it is her kid and if she is that paranoid, then I guess that's the way it is. Maybe you could call/text her right before you give her kid a bath or go to do another activity that might leave you unavailable. You can let her know what you're doing and how long you plan on doing it. That might help her not be worried....

mom said...

I agree with both posters regarding the mom...except I think it was rude of the dad to come out in his boxers. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it, but most normal people do not greet others in their undies...particularly of the opposite sex when their spouse is away. He lacks appropriate boundaries. Just keep an eye out for possibly escalating inappropriate behavior. If this was my husband, I would be furious to know he greeted a young woman in his underwear. If it happens again, find an appropriate time to say to either mom or dad, or both, "I know everybody is different on this subject, I am somewhat modest, so it would be more comfortable for me if dad waits until he is completely dressed before coming to speak with me."

As for mom, I echo the sentiments of the others. This is her child and she wants to know where he is.
She may have a problem, yes, but it is nevertheless obviously a job requirement that you be completely available. Love it or leave it. I do like the suggestion of calling just before bath time to let her know what you are up to so you don't have to answer with a baby in the tub...but again, only if the mom agrees to this. And then call her after to tell her that baby had a nice bath and let her know what you did that morning. She will appreciate your keeping her in the loop and it may go a long way to relieving her anxiety. This is her most precious thing in the world. Cut her some slack.

Please do not tell her that you deem 15 minutes a "reasonable time" to wait before she become anxious. That is not your choice and she will only feel judged. Just do what makes her comfortable and maybe in time she will become less anxious when she is away and her baby is in your care.

nahhh said...

Man, if these were the only problems I had with my Nanny jobs - I'd be one happy camper!!

The dad in boxers thing is probably not a big deal but I'm not modest. I know that is different for everyone, so it's understandable.

As far as the Mom and her calls, I agree you do need to be reachable. If she was calling you for 10 minutes, it probably felt like an hour to her. Take the phone in the bathroom, I do it all the time and have never ruined my phone in any way. One Mom I work for always requests that when I call her, start off with saying "Everything is okay....." instead of her sitting there wondering if it's an emergency when I just have a question like where is the baby shampoo.

These are not big issues, IMO!

nc said...

I agree with what has been said. The boxers aren't a huge deal. It doesn't seem like it was on purpose, he was just trying to get ready, but at the same time great you.
Also, if the mom wants you to be reachable, then take the phone with you. You can also put the phone away from the bath, so it won't get wet, but close enough for you to pick up if she calls.
Good luck!!!

TC said...

I'll agree with everyone else, my boss greets me in his boxers often, and other times he puts a robe on. It doesn't bother me in the least, you have to understand you are walking into their house. A place they are supposed to be the most comfortable and he could very well walk around in his boxers any time he's at the house.

Again I'll just echo what every one else says. If that's the way she is then that's how she is. You aren't going to change her. The only thing that might help is to put a schedule together for the mom. Say 8-9 is breakfast 9-930 is bath time 930-1030 is outside time and so on so that she knows where you are at any moment of the day which might ease her anxiety. Other than that just make sure she can get ahold of you at anytime. If the phone calls to your cell phone become obsessive though I would ask for compensation.

I send a picture message daily to my boss showing her what we did for the day she loves it and the times that I forget to take a picture she 'reminds' us the next day to take a picture :)

Bint Ethel said...

I worked for a family where the dad would always walk in and say good morning in his boxers.
Maybe I too am really modest, but I didn't like it. It made me feel awkward.

Original Poster said...

Thank you all for the GREAT advice. I appreciate it. Keep it coming.....:)

Black Orchid said...

Am I the only one who thinks it is grossly inappropriate for the dad to show himself in his undies? Yes, I realize it is his own home and he should be comfortable. But I highly doubt he comes out in boxers when his wife has a girlfriend over. And while I often walk around my house in my bra and undies, I always make sure I am fully clothed when my hubs has a friend over. I would talk to him, or if you feel uncomfortable talking to him, talk to his wife. Don't make it a big deal, but just let him (or her) know that it makes you uncomfortable.

another nanny said...

My boss also likes me to be accessible, so I have learned to keep my phone with me at all times. However, sometimes I am not able to immediately respond to her, because to do so would take my attention away from the children at an inappropriate time (e.g. when they need close supervision or I am meeting a critical need, such as getting them food).
As someone else mentioned, a loose schedule would help mom know what you're up to at any given time, so she will know the good times to call. Also, it might be helpful for her to text you with non-critical information or a check-in, and save phone calls only for more immediate needs. When you send a text, you know you may have to wait a couple minutes for the person to type a reply, so maybe there wouldn't be that anxiety of "OMG I called and she didn't answer- something's horribly wrong!" (I suffer from anxiety myself, and i can see this helping me)

MinuteMuggle said...

I have to disagree with most of the above posters. I think it's a big deal and totally inappropriate.

If I were the mom and my husband were walking around in his underwear in front of the nanny, I'd have anxiety issues too.

oh well said...

I would chill out on both counts and wait to see how it turns out. It is rude of Dad to be greeting you in his boxers, but I bet he has no clue that he is doing something wrong. As for Mom, I guess you just have to live with it. As weeks go by she will probably relax.
Good luck

mom said...

Again regarding the boxers...since when did it become appropriate for people to "do whatever they feel like doing," regardless of how it may make others feel?

When it comes to do something that COULD legitimately make a significant segment of the population uncomfortable, I still say it is impolite to impose one's "freedoms" on others....ESPECIALLY when there is nothing to be gained by doing it anyway. It would be of no consequence to dad's life to put his pants on before coming out of the bedroom when a non family member woman is in the common courtesy dictates that he should do that.

As I tell my children all the time, "Just because you CAN, doesn't always mean you SHOULD." IMO, it's much more important to be a thoughtful person than it is to exert every single "right" I may feel ENTITLED to having at every single moment I feel like having one.

What makes this dad feel that his feelings trump those of the girl sitting in his home feeling a little bit violated by his lack of boundaries?

Vanessa said...

Oh man... I mean I guess when you just started working it's a bit awkward but my 2 ex-bosses used to walk around in their boxers and no shirt every morning. Sometimes they'd wear a shirt, sometimes they wouldn't. I didn't really care and it didn't bother me at all because I was too busy with the kids, and they felt comfortable enough around me I guess. This was after I had been working with them for a year or so. Once I even saw one of them naked accidentally, which was funny but I got over it. He felt really really bad and embarrassed. They really saw me as part of the family though and never ever acted inappropriately around me. As long as he respects you it's fine. If it makes you too uncomfortable, just let him know.

Regarding the mom... I've never worked with axious moms but let her know that you can't be glued to the phone all day long and just explain that she will always get a call back if you don't answer it. Also explain that bad news travel first so if anything bad happens she'll be the first to know. Understand her don't confront her.

OCSOCALnanny said...

At a job I had years ago I wasnt able to get to the phone when my boss called (a man) because I was on the toilet...I returned his call within 3 minutes. He scolded me and wanted to know where was his 3 yr old daughter while I was going potty? Well she was right outside the bathroom door talking with me while I went. He was so rude. The man was impossible. Bad thing was he worked from home 30 days on and 30 days gone. I hated that job. Loved the little girl though.

Phoenix said...

My hubby walks around like that all the time in the house (doesn't matter the company) he feels it's his house he can do what he wants. I don't think it's that big of a deal.

And the mom thing... my mother is the same way. It's not anxiety is obsessive compulsive disorder. You will have to live with it. Unless you tell her to go on meds.

MinuteMuggle said...

"Just because you CAN doesn't always mean you SHOULD."

Well said, Mom!

roseofsharon said...

The "anxiety" issue was a deal breaker for me because of my personality - someone speaking sharply to me upets me. The child was awesome and the mother was a good human also - just given to anxiety fits.
ex. Part of the fun with my charge would be to take him across the street to watch trucks which he loved. He had a red sun hat and a blue sun hat,his mom would come running across the street with whichever cap we had not chosen accusing me of forgetting it and he would get burnt. When she would see he had the other hat on it would just be as if she had not spoken
ex. to get to the trucks we pass a grocery store, i would get myself a cup of coffee and my charge a cup of water or juice. The mom comes screaming with the second hat and angry that i was "giving him coffee" - then she sees he has water and it was as if she had not yelled.
ex. (sorry this will be crude) i was literally on the pot peeing and i could hear that the baby was waking up from nap happilly cooing. Before i can flush and wipe myself the mom walks in the door ,hears him cooing and scrams "MY GOD ARE YOU ALRIGHT?????" running to him to save him. I am freaked - do i wash my hands before running ? of course i need to wash i start yelling " I am washing my hands !!" etc. Those are 3 examples and because of my personality type my stomach would hurt before going in even tho the child was awesome.
This was babysitting not nanny and i slowly disengaged myself by making up another reason. However there are people that react to yelling as a duck with water off its back - i cannot do that tho

kaybee said...

wow. great advice. i agree with just appeasing the mom. i don't think she's asking too much. i too would be very uncomfortable with the dad in his boxers. jmho. i like the idea of averting your eyes, or completely turning away from him. nonverbal language. good luck!

CuriousDad said...

The Dad can be asked to not be undressed when the Nanny is working in the House. Most men do not greet visiters and guests in their home in their boxers, no reason for him to greet the Nanny in his. He should know better, but probably is still getting used to the idea of having someone there when he awakes and needing to get dressed before leaving his room.

Hopefully, the mothers constant calling should tapper off as she get less nervous about the child being with the Nanny and being away from her. Requiring the Nanny to have a phone with them at all times, would be a requirement if I had a Nanny. Heck I would have it in the contract and provide a phone for the Nanny to use. I would be leary of a Nanny I could not reach. I would not care if it was "only" 10 minutes. I would consider the Nanny being away from easy contact worrisome, especially if it happens more then just once. There was no reason for the Nanny not to bring a cell phone into the bathroom. The Nanny could have kept it away from the bath/shower area.
To me, this would show there was a chance that the Nanny would not be near enough to a phone to dial 911 in an emergency and help the child out at the same time. If the Nanny is so willing to blithely part with a phone, how easy would it be for her to be apart from the phone while she is outside somewhere else?
Even poolside she should still have the phone with her (at the pool, not in the pool) and check it regularly. This is after all a job, not play time for the Nanny.

phone carrying nanny said...

I would let the greeting you in the boxers situation go unless it continues to happen. The dad probably didn't think about it and didn't want to be rude while you were sitting in his house un-greeted.

If the mom wants you reachable at all times, you need to be reachable at all times. I keep my cell phone in my pocket, that way it's always with me and I can always answer. It's not unreasonable for the mom to expect that, and with a 2 1/2 year old you should always be able to answer, even if it's just to say you're busy. Also, it's not "too dangerous" to answer the phone during bath time if it's in the room with you just to quickly say that you're giving him a bath. I agree with other posters, if you aren't reachable you're making the anxiety and phone calls worse. Maybe with time she'll become more relaxed.

Lindsay said...

I think you need to get over the phone thing and just appease the mom. It would be totally annoying to deal with her but it's not a big deal to take a phone in a bathroom- just be careful where you set it.

About the boxer BRIEFS, totally inappropriate. Did anyone notice that OP said boxer briefs, not boxer shorts?? There is a difference and the briefs are much more revealing. It would make me totally uncomfortable too, although it might not necessarily be a deal breaker. I'm definitely with Mom and MM on that one. Just because he can walk around undressed in his house does NOT mean he should.

Gramma said...

Neither of these parents has any respect. What is going to happen to this poor kid when he has to go to school?

Old school nanny said...

Right on Gramma. I do not think it is reasonable to have a Nanny be reachable at ALL times. When the children go to preschool, how annoying would it be to have a parent stressed out because the teacher's aren't answering the phone and for the parent to keep calling multiple times over and over until someone answers and says her kid is okay?? When if the Nanny has a bout of diarrhea and is on the john for like 7 minutes? I think the mother has anxiety, and it is a little much. I would give her time to overcome it, if she doesn't, then I would search for another job. I remember reading on here once where a nanny wasn't reachable by phone for like 1/2 hour and she was fired on the spot!! I think that is too extreme! We live in this age where we expect people to be 100% reachable at all times w/cell phones, skype, IM, etc....believe it or not, before all this stuff existed, people did JUST fine in life. If we couldn't get ahold of someone instantly, we survived.

mom said...

But Old School, her employer has a right to stipulate certain things, and nanny can either do them or not. But if she doesn't do them, she will be fired in favor of a more compliant nanny.

Maybe it would have been oppressive a great many moons ago to have to stay within grabbing range of a land line...but today, when we can pop a candy bar sized cell phone into our pockets, it is not in any way a hardship to be reachable by phone at a moment's notice. Having to keep my phone nearby would not be a reason for me to give up a perfectly good job. It's just not that big of a deal in the scheme of things. And, as a mom who loves all kids, I am happy to hear about a mom who misses and worries about her child when she can't be with him, as opposed to the too many others who seem to block their children completely out of their minds the minute they step outside the door. Some people want to be SAHMs but have no choice but to have an outside job. That would be so hard. So hard. GIve the mom some slack and give her some credit for wanting to be aware of her child's activities and whereabouts. She's not selfish. She's just a little nervous. That doesn't make her a bad person.

ChiNanny said...

To all those who compared this to school. This is a different situation. Your child goes to a school with a reputation. The teachers are monitored. Your child is seen by many adults during the day and isn't left alone with one adult and no one else.

This is a new nanny. This mom probably did background checks etc, but you never know if the person you hired is reliable until you've had a history of reliability. Mom has every right to expect the nanny to be reachable at all times. It's a job requirement for that job. That's mom's prerogative.

kungfubarbie said...

how about a "good job OP for not leaving the child alone to get the phone"?

well i'll say it - good job OP for not leaving the child alone in the tub. it sounds like she only told you about her anxiety after this incident, so how were you to know? bring the land line into the bathroom is a good idea.

and yeah - boxers? inappropriate!!

mom said...

Chi nanny, Excellent point. And don't forget the other very important factor in having a school age child...they can completely verbalize what has gone on during the day, and they have at least some form of self preservation awareness/skills. An infant/toddler is 100% at the mercy of whoever he is alone with, and has no opportunity to tell mom and dad that he is scared, gets hurt, nanny yells at him, etc., during the day. Checking up is the best way for mom and dad to be sure their child is in good hands...especially at first with a somewhat new nanny.

And it only takes maybe 5 seconds to reach for and answer a phone, even in the bathroom. All you have to do is say quickly, "Xavier is in the tub. I'll call you as soon as I get him out." 5-10 more seconds.

Old school nanny said...

MOM...I am sorry, but I never said the mother was a bad person. I do not know where you got that from. I just stated that the anxiety is a bit much, but I would take a wait and see approach and see what happens.

As for answering the phone while bathing a 2 1/2 yr old, I completely disagree that you can answer a phone and be distracted even for 5 seconds. If I were a nanny and was bathing a child, even if I heard my phone, for the safety of the child in my care, I would NOT pick up the phone because that would divert my attention to the mother and the child can slip and hit his head, etc. The liability factor is too high. I also would not answer the phone when driving as that is too distracting as well. Mother needs to understand that bathing a toddler, driving, etc...are just not good times to talk on the phone. Children are slippery and soapy in the bath and w/slippery hands, you can drop your cell phone in the tub, sink, etc...believe me....I have heard of such incidences...many in fact!! One should NEVER answer the phone while bathing a toddler! Never.

MinuteMuggle said...

I cannot agree with you more!

The past week and the beginning of this one has been a difficult one for me, with a just turned 3 year old autistic child getting on a BUS with strangers! I expect to be able to get a hold of the school, the bus company etc at any time and you know what? I've been able to! They have been great! Likewise, I ALWAYS carry my cell with me: I have to because of my daughter's father in case there is an emergency (we obviously do not live together) and he always carries his. And as you know, being a parent is a full time job (in addition to the full time jobs we both already have! lol): both her dad and I are now single parents and we NEED to be able to get in touch with each other at a moment's notice because of our daughter. I don't really see how it is different when a mom wants to get in touch with her child's caregiver.

mom said...

All so very true! How are you doing now that she has been at school for a few days? Is it getting easier?

I am still missing my boy, but he is a great kid and has called most every day for one thing or another, and I can her in his voice how very happy he it is getting easier for me to have him gone. (Don't quite know how I'm going to get over the fact that he will never be my baby again...but I suppose in time that will be fine too...hehehe.)

Old school nanny, I don't think anything I said was directed specifically at you, or any of your comments. Several posters (and I could not sit here and name even one of them without going back to look) have expressed what I found to be an inordinate amount of disdain for this mama, so I was addressing that idea in general...not specifically contradicting you.

MinuteMuggle said...

Mom, I wish i could say it's getting easier, and maybe it is a little but I still hate to see her go. Still trying to get used to her going for visitation with her Dad, and now it's school! lol But thanks for your words of support. I'm sure your boy is doing great it sounds like he loves it. What a lucky school to have snagged him! :)

mom said...

Hang in there MM. It may take you a little longer because she is a little younger to be starting school, and because you are also just getting used to losing time with her because of sharing her with your ex. That's a lot of big changes in a very short time.

Just use the extra time alone to get the rest of your obligations taken care of so that you can make the most of the time she is home and with you. As another poster said, when you start to see her learning new things and becoming a little more independent, you will be so proud and happy for her that it will make you happier to see her board that bus each morning.

That's part of what being a mom is...swallowing our own hearts at times, and smiling (at least on the outside) while we do it, so our children can have the best possible chances in life.

NannyJ said...

Not deal breakers.
My BossDad has me come a half hour before he has to leave so that I can occupy the baby while he finishes getting ready for work. One time he had to open the door for me in his towel (he threw on a shirt first, though), and I didn't find it weird at all, better than leaving me standing on the porch.
Your boss probably figured it wasn't a big deal, and maybe thought that it would be more rude to not greet you than to greet you in his boxers.
True, it is a "now a days" thing, since I am in college and spent a couple years living in the dorms I ended up seeing countless guys in boxers and guys in towels, etc. in a very non-sexual way. Maybe this is what your boss is used to as well.
That being said, if it made you truly quite uncomfortable than I would maybe think of a way to subtly set some ground rules. However, if you are just worried about how it would look, or that it might jeopardize your job if caught in that situation, I think I would just let it slide. Especially if it only occurred once. However, if it happens often, and you think he is being flirty or making any advances towards you...then it may be a deal breaker. It is possible that he is just testing the waters to see what WILL fly with you... can't say the guy doesn't have a controlling wife.

Speaking of the wife... also not a deal breaker. Being away from her child must be very tough for her, and you should work with her to make it as easy as possible. If that means reaching you at any time, then you should always be reachable. It might be a bit trying, but there are way worse jobs out there, and it might get better as she gets to know you better and her trust in you grows.

NannyJ said...

Adding to my last comment...
When I first started working my BossMom would call me pretty often and say "I promise I'm not a crazy mom, but I am just checking in!"
Now she doesn't anymore. If she wants to check in, she will text me. That works really well for me, since I really dislike talking on the phone. Ironically, there are some times that I actually worry that I text back to quickly, and that it will look like I am sitting with the phone in my hands at all times texting away. In reality, I just have it fairly close to me. :)

MinuteMuggle said...

I lived in the dorms in college too. And it was a long time ago. And yes, you see guys in boxers. That's because it's the COLLEGE DORMS not a place of employment, which this house is for the nanny.

mom said...

Excellent point, MM

After college, we need to move onto the next phase of life, which is maturing into GROWN MEN AND WOMEN.

Just as I do not expect my recently graduated son to continue to party every night of the week or live amongst a pile of pizza delivery boxes and empty Dr. Pepper cans now that he is living an "adult life," I would be similarly appalled to find him greeting a young woman in his employ while being next to naked.

There is a time and a place to live the "Animal House Dream," (Enjoy it to the fullest while you're in college because it SHOULD last for a short time) ...and a time for it to end and move on to a more responsible existence. Having an adult job means coming to work fully dressed...and also having a reasonable expectation that when you arrive at a respectable adult job, everybody else will be fully dressed as well. I think it is disrespectful to nanny for dad to come out (un)dressed this if she is not a professional person herself. Where else are you going to go to work as a respected professional and be greeted by your boss in his undies?

Blah said...

lol are mom and MM the same person?

mom said...

Nope Blah,
Believe it or not, there are actually TWO whole separate people in the world who think there is a time and place for greeting people in your undies...and that somebody's work environment is NOT one of them.

MinuteMuggle said...

well said, mom! lol

I am flattered that someone would compare me to you, by the way! It is a compliment!

mom said...

Back at ya, MM!

NannyJ said...

I didn't mean that it was okay for him to greet her in his underwear because that is how people act in college and therefore should translate over. I was more saying it to explain how desensitized I may have become to the sight of men in their underwear, who aren't being sexual, and how therefore I might find it less weird. :)

I don't think people should live forever in their college lifestyles. I don't even think people in college should really be living the "college lifestyle" of partying all the time, etc. I go to a fairly small private Christian University, but I still end up seeing guys in boxers...surprisingly. That being said, if one of my guy friends walks out in boxer briefs... I'm definitely not going to be looking directly at him, and would probably tell him to go put some pants on! :)

mom said...

Nanny j,
nothing i said was directed to you personally. I was responding to MMs case I somehow gave you the impression I was criticizing you

The illustration about the dorm and the boxers was actually a good one.

NannyJ said...

Oh, thanks mom. :)
I didn't necessarily think you were criticizing me. I often seem to feel the need to return to my comments and clarify. I also often seem to come off as defensive and/or arrogant in my clarifications.
However, I guess in this case I felt the need to clarify because I did feel a bit criticized- as if suddenly I was being looked down on for being a college student, as all college students' lives are consumed with partying, mess, and being unprofessional.
I am now suppressing the need to clarify further!

NannyJ said...

err...I mean that I didn't necessarily think that you were criticizing me SPECIFICALLY.

I needed to clarify, since I kind of contradicted myself in my next paragraph... :-/

mom said...

Nanny J,
Don't worry about clarifying. I do it myself. I don't like people to think I am picking on them. (Not to say that when something really rubs me the wrong way, I don't say so. But I'll be direct when that happens.) It has happened a couple of times in the last few days where I commented on one person's post and another person has come back and thought that meant I was criticizing them by comparison. I rarely remember just who has said what...unless there is something really striking in a post. But if I comment to a particular person, I always address my comments directly to them (even if I am disagreeing with their post.)

As for the college lifestyle. Hey, I've been there too. Those are great times...but I wouldn't want to live like that again. (Nor would I want to erase the many memories I have of that time.) Some of my most memorable college experiences were parties at my now Bro in Law's fraternity house...and that place was as "Animal House" as it gets...a 10 bedroom biohazard crammed with hormonal idiots...and we thought it was the best time to be had back then! hehehee! Not to mention that some of my very favorite people in the entire world are college students! My oldest son graduated from college a couple of months ago, and I just left my middle son in a freshman dorm on the other side of the country two weeks ago! Waaaaa! I have recent first hand reminders of the college lifestyle, and it doesn't seem to have changed a whole lot.

In short, don't ever be apologetic about being a college student. Be proud of it. It's an important milestone and a tremendous accomplishment.

MinuteMuggle said...

I wish I were back in college sometimes. It was so much fun. I was so cool back then.

I wonder what happened. :(

mom said...

Either that, MM, or you didn't have kids back then, so there was nobody to point out on a daily basis how really uncool you actually were...hehehe!

Carolyn said...

I like the idea for sending her a text before you give the kid a bath. Yes she is uncomfortable when you are unreachable but if you are uncomfortable answering the phone while the kid is in the bath that is fair enough also.

Just send her a message "Hey I'm giving johhny a bath, I'll txt you when we're done."