Wednesday

Dinosaur Park in NYC

Received Wednesday, September 30, 2009
nanny sighting logo Yes i saw a really bad nanny. She scared me with her violent eyes. She was smooth complected with the eyes of the devil, dark and squinty, her complexion was like cinnamon fire and she dressed like a nurse in scrubs. Her scrub top had roses on it and her scrub pants were pink. She wore a brand of shoe called Quarks, they are famous with them nurses. She had a child of 2 in her care. The girl was petite, with brown hair, blue eyes and had a bad haircut. I was thinking when i saw the child that some other kid cut her hair or she lurched when she was getting her cut. Still she was an angel and did not deserve the message of the beast. The beast woman was about 6 foot tall, many racial with strong proud chest and sturdy legs. Her shoes looked big and her ankles were strong. She carried no bag but a set of keys on a rope keychain which she held in her hand. The child, oh the sweet child. The sweet child kept asking for raisins. Not candies or soda or love. Just raisins. The lady got up and threw the box in the garbage and said "no more" her voice was mean and scathing. This made the baby cry. What did this woman do now to that poor little child? She grabbed that tiny child's face and put a massive hand on her face and on one side poked a finger threw each of her cheeks. This made the child make a fish face, she was squeezing that precious child so hard. The baby starts to squeal now. I said, "hey, hey, hey" and walked toward her and the lady turned and glared at me, removed her hands from that baby and walked on her way. She was pushing a pretty distinct stroller. It had a green canopy that was a thick canvas, appearing more like lawn chair fabric than stroller fabric, and the body of the stroller had over-sized joints. The child and nanny took off heading out of dinosaur park in nyc. I feel i should have chased her but alas i have myself a bum leg.

50 comments:

CuriousDad said...

Uhh, Yeah so why are the BU**#$() alarm bells ringing in my head? Was this someone practicing their novel writing or for a short story?

just my opinion said...

My first impression was that the person reporting this may possibly be Jamaican, just by the wording, maybe I'm wrong? OP?

nanny and mommy said...

ridiculous. OP, if you want people to take your posts seriously ... and about what, i don't know ... cut the drama.

unbelievable! said...

Jeez, you friggin' people are ridiculous! A kid got ABUSED here and you are knocking the OP's writing style?! WTF is wrong with everyone? No matter how she describes it, a child was hurt!

Ravenswood Nanny said...

i like the writing. it makes reading it easier than black and white details.

nanny and mommy said...

unbelievable!, you missed the point. i don't BELIEVE a child was abused because of the way this is written. it is all drama, very little fact. if OP had written this plainly, giving an accurate description of those involved and what actually happened (considering we have no idea WHY the raisins got taken away or if the child was even allowed to have raisins), then i might buy it. i'm sorry, i just don't. i'm not a troll, not making excuses for the nanny, not without sympathy. i am a nanny and a mother and my
intuition on both counts says this is overstated at best.

ChiNanny said...

Unbelievable- give me a break. Refusing a snack is not abuse. Squishing the child's cheeks may not be something you'd do, but it's not abuse.

This sighting is filled with so much dramatic "flare" that I can't take it seriously. I'm sure the parents will love to hear that the nanny they chose and look at everyday has "devil eyes".

mom said...

C'mon guys, be nice. This is obviously written by a pirate with a talent for putting words together. (Sorry OP...just teasing you little. I like the writing, but found the bum leg wording just a bit "swashbuckelish.")

Seriously though, I would be furious if I found out somebody did that to my toddler. I guess it depends on the parents how mean they are willing to allow a caregiver to be to their child whether this seems like a bad nanny or not. I'm pretty intolerant of meanness, so I would not keep an unkind nanny at all. I think it does more harm than many people realize not to be nurturing at all times...especially with such a young child. There are ways to say no, and there are effective ways to discipline, without being mean and scary.

Let's hope the parents see this so they can make their own decision.

look said...

"We strongly recommend not 'assuming' anything. Read, consider, and make your own informed decisions"

Phoenix said...

Actually some people who have a knack for writing often tell stories the same way. It is very hard for me not to describe an event without elaborating the drama. It is a way for people to tell you what the saw in their eyes. OP seems to have a knack for writing and I encourage it. I for one got a great description of this mean nanny and the parents no doubt would too.

haha said...

wtf is cinnamon fire?

Lola said...

haha~

Exactly my thought. Cinnamon Fire? Wow!

They were famous with them nurses.....that just made me laugh.....but seriously this lady seems like an ass.

Oh, no, not this again.... said...

I really hate to bring up the age old "How do you know it was the nanny?" argument, but I have to. I'm guessing this woman doesn't wear nursing scrubs for kicks. And if she works as a nurse, why would she want/need to work as a nanny, too? Yes, I realize: 1) she might be in nursing school 2) she might be a CNA and therefore, extra cash may be needed 3) maybe she could only find a part time nursing position for whatever reason and needed supplemental income. Or maybe mom just got off her nursing shift, picked up daughter on her way home (hence the unchanged clothes) and stopped by the park. If she just finished a tough shift, she might have been especially tired/cranky/impatient. Not an excuse for bad mommy behavior, but just a thought.

MissMannah said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one rolling my eyes while reading this one! The part I don't understand is how is it abusive to throw an empty raisin container in the trash? Also, what the hell was OP talking about when she said the nanny put her fingers "threw" both cheeks? This sounded more like a case of frazzled nanny and screaming child, than of abuse. Not even going to get into my anger about racist comments like "cinnamon fire" complexion.

just my opinion said...

Oh, no, not this again,
Such idiocy. Do you not realize how many moms out there PREFER that their nanny wear scrubs? Or that a lot of nannies PREFER scrubs because they do not want to get their own clothes dirty?

mom said...

Miss Mannah,
I have to ask...is the throwing away of the raisin container is what you picked up as the most disturbing part of this siting?

nanny and mommy said...

mom, your earlier point is well taken, bit this just goes back to my thought: cut the drama! it's hard to tell what we ARE supposed to be disturbed by. the raisins? nanny saying there weren't any more? or the fish face thing? maybe she was trying to make the child laugh since she was fussing about the raisins. rarely do I do fish face to be mean?

seriously, though, I don't know what the point is. if OP's post had been somewhat normal and said that a nanny grabbed her charge's face in a way that looked aggressive, my reaction would be totally different. instead, I'm focused on her eyes shooting hellfire or whatever and my BS alarm is blaring.

MissMannah said...

"The child, oh the sweet child. The sweet child kept asking for raisins. Not candies or soda or love. Just raisins. The lady got up and threw the box in the garbage and said "no more" her voice was mean and scathing. This made the baby cry."

Enough said. The OP is looking for absolutely any way to make this "beast nanny" sound bad. They ran out of raisins? The "sweet child" will have to get over it.

I also expressed my confusion over this part:

"She grabbed that tiny child's face and put a massive hand on her face and on one side poked a finger threw each of her cheeks. This made the child make a fish face, she was squeezing that precious child so hard."

Mom, is there a reason you chose to answer part of my question and not this part? I'd still like to know how the nanny managed to put her fingers inside the child's cheeks.

Phoenix said...

She put her fingers on the outside of the childs cheeks and squeezed them together.

Not that hard to understand. Get over it.

mom said...

Miss Mannah,
Yeah, I get that it's pretty dramatic.

Anybody can run out of raisins, and I don't consider that a big deal. Children don't need to have every creature comfort indulged at the moment they desire it...even if they cry. (In fact, that's probably not even good for them.)

But it seemed to me that this nanny grabbed the child's face in anger and was curt and abrupt with her. That is never OK IMHO. I was just surprised that you mentioned the raisins, because that was a non issue to me. Somehow form your post I got the impression that it was the part that you focused on.
Please excuse me if I misread.

I too have made fishy faces with my kids...but I doubt ever during a moment of frustration/crying...because that's just not a "playful" time in general. This causes me to believe that the nanny is harsh and put her hands on the child in an aggressive way. I guarantee I never handled or treated a two year old in such a way, no matter what my mood may have been...nor would I stand for anybody else doing that to my child. I am more worried about how this made the child feel than I am about her physical face being squeezed (although I think there is no excuse for doing that to a toddler.)

As a mom, can you honestly say you could witness somebody glaring/snapping at/squeezing your baby's face in anger and still allow them to be alone with your child in your absence ever again?

nanny and mommy said...

mom, to answer your question, i could probably stand to look at someone glaring at my child in anger. i've probably done that a time or two. i've probably even lost my temper a time or two. is it right? no. i find it hard to believe that you have never had a bad moment with your child, not even to shoot them a glare, but to each his own.

am i saying that this type of behavior would be acceptable between a nanny and her charge? NO. absolutely not. what i was really trying to convey is that the whole situation was sensationalized. like i said before, if OP had simply stated that she witnessed a nanny touching a child in way that seemed aggressive or out of anger, that would have been fine. it would have been a good post. but with all of the dramatic flourishes, and with making the nanny out to be some kind of demon, it makes me less likely to react in the same way. that was just my initial impression, or IMHO. also, the fact that OP makes SUCH a big deal out of the raisins, and the crying, and the "sweet angel" kind of undercuts the seriousness of the situation, if there was any.

i seriously am not trying to underplay this if something really happened. i think that this site is incredibly useful and some posts, like the most current one, are direct, detailed, and informative. honestly, i hate when some people are quick to jump on the OP and blame racism, or ask whether it might not be a nanny, or make some excuse about the nanny's day. that undercuts that this site is for. however, i also think that the way this post was written undercuts what this site is for, and that was my point about the whole thing. i'm sorry if i offended anyone or came off sounding differently.

mom said...

Miss Mannah,
You make a good point about the exaggeration and i agree about that.
I simply misunderstood your implication abut the raisins.
And yeah, I've been short with my kids when I should have before...but I'm pretty willing to guarantee, not in that way, or with such a small child. Maybe I was lucky and had especially sweet, sensitive kids, but I would never have dreamed of treating them like that as two year olds. If I had, I imagine they would have been crushed.

And I can guarantee also that I NEVER lost it/was unkind/yelled/touched in anger any child I ever babysat for...ever. there is just zero excuse for treating somebody's child like that when you are being paid as a professional to care for them. It is simply 100% NOT an acceptable outlet for a nanny. Kids can be frustrating, that's for sure. If one is unable to maintain her composure in the face of that and act like the adult at all times, one ought find a profession that does not involve caring for children. They may need to be disciplined at times...but they never deserve to be treated unkindly because nanny is having a bad day or a bad moment.

mom said...

"And yeah, I've been short with my kids when I should have before..."

Oops. That ought to be "shouldn't" have

MinuteMuggle said...

this sounds like an excerpt from a richard laymon novel. only...not good.

NVMom said...

Difficult as it may be, read the post carefully. The OP did not say the nanny threw out an empty box of raisins. Only that she threw it out and said 'no more'. Either way, it's a mean way to talk to a child. It's certainly not aimed at making them feel better.

Also, she did not say the nanny made a fish face, she said the child's face was squeezed so tightly, it made the child have a fish face.

Why do mean people put themselves around kids (and that includes parents?)Why?? It's really pathetic.

Easttxmomof3 said...

Whether or not the OP's description is over the top is really irrelavent. In my honest opinion this poor baby was abused. I have a 3 yr. old little boy and if ANYONE were to sqeeze his little face that way and made him squeal in pain like the OP said the girl did, well it wouldn't matter if they looked like the devil or Mary Freekin Poppins because I would probably break their arm! I am a very even tempered and laid back person except when it comes to the care and safety of my children. What stood out most to me in the OP's sighting was not her drama or style of writing, but was the fact that the caretaker physically hurt that poor little girl to the point that she cried out in pain.

mom said...

NVMom,
You're absolutely right.

A proper response when running of raisins is, "I'm sorry sweetie, they're all gone. We can have lunch when we go home."

If the child persists in crying over the raisins, a proper response for a two year old is, "Oh, you must be getting sleepy to cry so much. Shall we have a rest on the bench or go home for a nap?" (When I offered these options to my kids, I found remarkably often that they were able to stop the tears and resume playing pretty seamlessly. What ARE the odds? hehehehe)

Being ugly to them and pinching their faces only serves to make them more upset and teaches nothing at all, except maybe "You are bad. You are a bother. I don't like you much."

nanny and mommy said...

NVmom, why the attitude? I did read the post carefully. I never said the raisin box was empty. I didn't see the raisins as a big deal either way. I feel certain that I have had to toss something from a charge or my children out and used the phrase "no more" without malice. and I got the part about the fish face, too. believe it or not, I do that with my girls and it makes them laugh. they can't do fish face on their own, so they think it's hilarious. they also think it's funny if you thump them on the back or bottom so it makes their voice sound funny. the intent of the action I'd what masters, obviously.

I've stated a few times what my issue with the post was and have no idea why I've somehow gotten demonized in the process. I'm not mean -- to my kids or my charges -- and I'm also not perfect. Neither one of these things has anything to do with the fact that clear, detailed, unembellished posts in painting an accurate picture of the situation and seem most helpful ... IMHO!

mom said...

nanny and mommy,
before we even get there...my response to nvmom was in no way intended to be a dis to you. I don't even know what posts you wrote.

nanny and mommy said...

thanks, mom.

all of my comments today have been under "nanny and mo
," as far as I know. I appreciate the way you express things, even if I think that you are probably far more perfect (and I mean that) than I will be on my best day.

I wasn't trying to start anything today, truly just stating MHO about the way posts are written.

nanny and mommy said...

oops, writing on my phone. that explains any odd typos. should have read "nanny and mommy," but that's not how it came out.

ChiNanny said...

My problem with this post is the dramatic language and the effect it has. Like Nanny and Mommy said, these actions can be done different ways and have very different meanings. I have tossed out a box or baggie, said "no more" to a small child in a kind or neutral way, and the child starts crying because they want more and that's how little kids express emotion.

For a site that's supposed to offer parents facts, I think a sighting should be written without the dramatics. Save that for creative writing time. Sadly, if this nanny was truly mean to this child, the parents may never believe it because of the silly way the sighting was written. It seems over the top and embellished.

Manhattan Nanny said...

I found the writing style pretty funny. How could she tell her ankles were strong? I pictured the nanny bourreeing around the playground en pointe. : ^ )

The nanny appeared angry. The face squishing sounds like OP is describing rough treatment, not a playful fish face.

The raisons issue: I thought by "no more" she was saying you may not have any more, and threw the remaining raisons away.

Is this a kind and loving nanny, who is good with toddlers? No, and that is what the OP picked up on.

mom said...

nanny and mommy,

What I meant is that I don't usually pay attention to who writes what, unless I go back to check specifically because I am responding directly to a certain post. But lately, when I have taken the time to tell somebody that I really liked their post, I have had other people (who may have been having a differing opinion with that person) come back and think I was purposely criticizing them. Good or bad, if I am speaking directly to somebody, I try to address my comments directly to them to avoid this issue...but not always successfully. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel personally attacked.

And please, don't put me on any sort of pedestal as a mom or as a person. The only difference between me and many posters here is that my kids are older...which means that I have a lot more experience to draw on. I have seen many children raised from birth to adulthood, and have seen the effects, good and bad, of certain parenting practices. (Although I think I do have an extra level of appreciation for my kids because had to work so hard to have the three healthy ones I do have. So every morning when I woke up and they were there it felt like an incredible gift to me. Which is why my heart hurts to read about a precious little two year old being treated so gruffly as the one in this thread. She is somebody's precious gift, and deserves to be treated as such.)

But, beyond that, I have made as many parenting mistakes as most people here, I would suppose. When it is appropriate to the thread I sometimes mention those as well...as cautionary tales. But for the most part, what I tend to write about are the good suggestions I have...which either come from the things I did that worked well, or things I saw other parents do that I admired. (Or, on the flip side, things that ended up badly...again, as cautionary tales.) With that, I probably end up looking better than I was/am. I am not perfect. My kids are not perfect. But I can say in all honesty that I have tried my best to be a good mom every single day. (And even with that I sometimes screw up.) If we all just do that, we can at least rest assured that we didn't fail our children for selfish reasons. We will all fail our kids in some way or other...but let's just do our best jobs possible as moms, and the love we have shown our kids in doing so will hopefully help fill in the gaps we will leave in our unintentional failures.

Sometimes I have said to my kids, "I made mistakes with you, but I hope you know I hard I have tried every single day to be a good mom to you." They do. They know they are the most precious things in the world to their dad and me. That has to count for something, right?

nanny and mommy said...

mom,

absolutely. and well said, as usual.

i certainly understand about children being a gift, and about treating them as such. infertility, fertility drugs, hormones, miscarriage, and almost every possibly pregnancy scare and problem ... that's me.

children ARE a gift. and a miracle. they deserve to be treated as such. if we all kept that at the forefront of our minds, we would be much better nannies and parents, but that is often easier said than done when you are in the throes of things, i think. i certainly did not have that at the forefront of my mind when i responded to this post, and although i am not sure that my response would have been completely different, your response is a refreshing reminder of why we are all (hopefully) on here, why we care, and why children are a part of our lives. thank you.

Lizzy said...

okay the child was abused. thats the point and that is what it comes down to. But it is still okay to let the OP know that she made a freaking fool of herself at the way she was writing her sighting.

I'm sorry, but she really didn't need to put in half of that, she could have gotten down to the point. In fact, the point seemed like a tiny little part of the story, who knows if the kid was allowed to have raisins. WE DON'T.


all I learned from this post was that the child's caregiver looks like the devil. She squished the child's cheeks. BIG FREAKING DEAL. if she looked like Mary Poppins and did that the OP wouldn't have cared. it was all about those devil eyes that made her narrow in on that girl.

maybe they were going to have lunch soon and the kid shouldn't have had any more raisins.

Easttxmomof3 said...

Fine, the OP went well overboard with the description and drama stuff. And I could really care less about the stupid raisins. All I am saying is if it were MY child and someone I was paying to care for my child sqeezed her face so hard that she was crying out in pain then yes that IS a "BIG FREAKING DEAL". Everyone seems so hung up and a stupid box of raisins and on her over exagerated description. The main part of the whole sighting that stood out for me was "She grabbed that tiny child's face and put a massive hand on her face and on one side poked a finger threw each of her cheeks. This made the child make a fish face, she was squeezing that precious child so hard. The baby starts to squeal now." Maybe THIS is why I make the sacrafices to be a SAHM (and yes I know not everyone can). Because if this was MY child I don't care if she was having the worst day ever, and I could'nt give a flip about the damn box of raisins, but as soon as you put a hand on my child you are gone.

mom said...

Amen easttxmom,
Are you in Tyler?

Easttxmomof3 said...

Hi Mom and thank you. I live about 20 miles outside of Tyler. So I am about 120 miles east of Dallas. I am actually an "adopted" Texas as I am originally from New York but have lived here since I was 10 years old.

Easttxmomof3 said...

Texan not "Texas" lol. Sorry it is about my bedtime and its been a long day.

MinuteMuggle said...

I totally agree about the face squeezing: not cool.

Regarding having patience with children, I know it's hard sometimes: I have to be so patient with my child since she has autism. Last night, I saw a program on Discovery about a family with 6 children, all of them autistic, all of them on different parts of the AS from high functioning to classic autism (their 6 year old was developmentally only an infant) and I could not believe the patience these parents had with their children. I only have one.

I do not spank my daughter, grab her roughly, or squeeze her in any way, except for big hugs! When she gets into her poop and decorates the wall, or bites me, or rips up a library book, I take a deep breath and deal with it appropriately. And I'm no mother of the year, trust me! I do lose my patience, but I wait until my child is asleep and then call my sister and cry to her on the phone! lol I don't lose it on my child. Even when I snap at her occasionally in anger or say "Oh, no!" in an exasperated way I feel guilty. Taking frustration out/disciplining physically is just not ok in my book. I just don't do it.

How can a nanny have such little patience with a child that she would squeeze their poor little cheeks or neglect them or abuse them in any way? I think it really is horrible. I do hope the parents see this. I would want to know!

Ravenswood Nanny said...

well, despite her style of writing she certainly got everyone's attention!

mom said...

Easttxmom,
Cool. I grew up in Caifornia. You've been here a lot longer than me! We arrived in '93. Did you enjoy the storm we sent you last night? Good thing my little dog happened to be inside when it hit, otherwise I fear she might be out your way this morning!

nanny and mom,
Thank you. You're very sweet. I am happy to see from your moniker that your efforts have paid off and you re a mommy. I'll bet you're a pretty darn good one. It sounds like you have a deep appreciation for what a blessing it is to be a mom.
I often console people in the middle of infertility issues that they will receive one very special gift for all of their heartache and long wait to become parents...they will never take their children for granted...even in those moments that would try the patience of a saint. (Not that they will behave as saints in all of those moments...but no matter what, it stays in the back of your mind that things could be a whole lot worse than, say, having purple crayon "a-la Harold" on the walls of every single room in your house. And yes, that actually happened to me.)

MM,
Hang in there. I cannot even imagine how much patience it must take to live in your world. Please don't beat yourself up for saying, "Oh no!" It is unreasonable to expect yourself to be perfect, or to operate as some sort of robot. You are dealing with a very stressful situation. It sounds like you do an excellent job of being loving to your daughter. Instead of being upset with yourself when you let your exasperation show, just go over to your daughter instead, give her a big hug and say, "Mommy's sorry. Sometimes mommies get sad and grouchy, just like little girls do, but it's not your fault." Then think up a couple ways you might have handled whatever it was a little better, save them up in your mind for next time, and then LET IT GO.

Elizabeth said...

Due to OP's colorful but untrustworthy narrative, we are left without clues as to what actually happened here. Did the nanny throw away an empty raisin box and then playfully squeeze her young charge's face in order to cajole her out of a tantrum? Or did she cruelly dispose of the coveted raisins and then abuse the little tyke by popping her in the face? It's impossible to tell, and OP isn't coming back to fill us in...I'm moving on.

op said...

It was strange to see but the evil woman so gleefully take from the child the raisins and put them in the garbage, but it was very hard to watch the nanny squeeze the baby's face with her big hands.

Elizabeth said...

Okay...I'm calling shenanigans on Mary Poppin' Pills...especially because none of her other posts are written in this schizo style.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Elizabeth
WTF are you talking about? You are thinking I made this up? Sorry, but good or bad, I do not have the time to come up with something so colorful or creative.

If you think for one second that there aren't people out there that exist that actually write like this, you my friend, are very naive.

Next.

MinuteMuggle said...

Elizabeth you need a hobby.

Jerseyxjacqui said...

Hahahaha that was hilarious.

NVMom said...

Nanny and mommy, just catching up here. I'm trvling. Sorry if my prv post came across as attitde. It's always late when I have a chance to come here so not always diplomatic. My post wasn't directed at you as I thought most people were not understanding the op. Nothing personal to anyone. Ps Maggie iave a dd with auti so l know what it's like. Hang in there!