Wednesday

Palisades Mall Food Court in Nyack, NY

Received Wednesday, August 12, 2009
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White nanny with White child
Palisades Mall, Nyack, NY. Foodcourt.
Child was about 5 years old, red-brown hair, some freckles, green polo, camouflage shorts, white tennis shoes. nanny had dark hair, english accent, creamy skin, attractive wearing faded blue jeans and a blue tennis t-shirt.
5 year old carried own tray and was walking behind nanny. tray tipped and contents fell on the floor. large soda hit floor and splashed nanny. nanny whips around and says 'you idiot'. she grabs hum by the rest and harshly steers him towards the table and pushes him down in the chair. he had french fries on the tray. she scooped them up with something else still in foil. she picked up the ice and mopped up the mess on the floor. she put the ice on top of the tray on top of his food. she used the palm of her hand to bang it down. this squished whatever was in the foil. the boy said "what am I going to eat now". she said, "I don't know. You can eat whats on the tray or not. Eat or not. Eat or not". really amused with herself. It was early around 1045-ish so this area of food court was not busy. I think it's strange she acted like this when I was about four tables away. Did she think she was invisible? The boy just sat there with his elbows on his table resting his chin on his hands. He looked close to tears. A couple times the nanny looked at him and said, "don't even start". She ate her food and then got up and dumped the trash. She hollered at him to get up and clean his mess. This was not a Mom. No mom acts like this. The female was about 21.

44 comments:

ChiNanny said...

Good sighting, and I won't doubt your judgement about it being a nanny, however, many moms abuse and kill their children. Never say no mom would act like that, you'd be surprised what moms will do to their children.

a nanny AND a mom said...

"No mom would act like this."

You'd be surprised. Good sighting no matter who it was, but I DO doubt your judgment call based on that statement.

just my opinion said...

I agree, excellent sighting, but absolutely moms can AND do act like that. I wish there was some other way to I.D. her for sure, but no matter, if it IS a nanny, let's just hope this poor kids parents see this and fire this bitch stat!

Adria said...

Sadly, there are a lot of mom's and parents that would do that. Google bad parenting and just wait for the slue of stories that will pop up.

OCSOCALnanny said...

It seems to me its more likely NOT his nanny but either his whacked out mom or a relative. I have seen many a mom talk in this sort of demeaning tone to their children in public.

ct nanny said...

I guess there have been worse sightings on here, but I absolutely HATE this kind of thing, shaming children for accidents. It's not like adults never spill stuff.
However, I agree with the other comments. I have seen parents act this way with their children.

NannyJ said...

A nanny who loves the kid wouldn't do this. I would be quite grumpy and frustrated for a few minutes and probably yell. I would definitely have the boy help clean up. But as someone who loves him, I wouldn't call names or deprive food.

sad said...

Any adult would have been annoyed at their child dumping over a tray, but why would you let a 5 year old carry a big tray with a large soda on it? I would never! I would carry it myself just to avoid this exact kind of mishap. Unfortunately she took her mistake out on the boy and it sounds like he didn't get to it, or if he did it doesn't sound like it was too great of a meal. How sad. Sorry, but all five year old children spill sometimes, it's just part of life.

I hope this was a nanny and that she only works very very part time. So sad.

MinuteMuggle said...

good siting OP.

but hate to burst your bubble, but as other posters have said, moms do act like this all the time. it is sad, but I see it all the time in the city.

I remember when I was at the beach years ago and I was waiting at the snack bar with a friend and we saw a woman walk by with her daughter who was about five years old and she smacked her right across the face and called her a little bitch.

Anyway, I hope the parents do see this because i am certain that THIS child's mom does not know that their nanny has such a short fuse!

great work, op!

chgonanny said...

Yes, I agree with everyone on here, but it does sound like this isn't the mom.

Sad, I totally agree with you. While reading this I thought, "carrying his own tray? This won't end well." My oldest charge is 6.5 years old and very physically adept, and I wouldn't let him carry his own tray over, for that exact reason. I admit, if my kid dropped his tray, I'd be pissed off, and probably would need to take a deep breath, but then you tell them to clean it up, and get him something new to drink.

just my opinion said...

WTF is wrong with everybody?! The are young kids! Some of you would seriously get pissed off if they spilled something? Well, I hate to break it to you, but welcome to life! Accidents happen, especially with younger children. It is a part of life, and you signed up for it!

Me! said...

Uh...because people have emotions.

DesignNanny said...

You people who post your bullshit on this website have no clue!! You have no idea about the events leading to this lady fliping out on this child. I agree there is no reason for anybody to intentionally abuse a child but u only saw what the child did and the reacation at that time had u seen how the child was acting before they got their food then you probably wouldn't be a caddy nosey bitch acting like a child telling on some1.
Maybe the little boy was being a brat running around not listening, then this lady finally got him to calm down n then the last straw was him dropping his tray.
My point is don't go on here posting non-sense when you don't know the full story!!
Also to you mothers who watch nannies, WE WATCH YOU TOO! Sitting on your asses talking with your friends NOT watching your kids. We see it all!! Should we start posting on I saw your mommy?

mom said...

First, Design Nanny, YOU ARE SCARY! It seems that you are suggesting it may be possible that there may be any sort of circumstance in the world that would make it OK for what happened here to occur. There is NONE. She covered his lunch with filthy ice from the floor and smooshed it all together and left him with nothing to eat while he watched her have lunch. And she shamed him for a mistake SHE made. There is no place for this kind of uncontrolled, irrational, childishness in child care. None.

Heck, I've spilled drinks off of fast food trays...once I dropped an entire coke on the leg of a man wearing a suit at McDonalds. I apologized. He was very gracious. That's how adults act. (Not to mention, again, that she should have had brains enough to realize there was a 50/50 chance, at best, that that drink would make it to the table intact when she sat it on the tray a 5 year old was carrying!) Not only does this nanny/mom need to stop abusing this boy, but she needs to get her act together enough to model appropriate behavior.

And as for moms being capable of doing this kind of thing...again I refer you all to the series of books called "A Boy Called It," by Dave Pelzer.(And the related book, "A Brother's Story" by the brother of the boy who is the subject of the "It" books, Richard Pelzer.) Seriously, I recommend that you all read them. Not only are they a real eye opener to what some abused kids suffer (and the depths to which some parents sink), but it will give you all the courage to investigate a little further, without fear of being "nosey" when you see a child who displays any of the signs of abuse. (What you see on the outside is probably the very tip of the iceberg as far as what the child endures behind closed doors.)We as parents and childcare professionals are in the perfect arena to have contact with lots of children, and some of us may be the one chance some child ever has to escape a living nightmare. It's our responsibility to keep an eye out for all children.

Oh and designer nanny, not to excuse or try to explain away abuse when we do see it.

bippityboppityboo said...

I think its a great sighting and thank you for posting it. Based on the behavior and the fact that she said the nanny only looked about 21 and it was a 5 year old child (yes I know it could be the mom) but it would lead me to think it was the nanny.

Phoenix said...

didn't op say that the lady had an english accent? and the boy assume didn't... to me that would mean nanny.
lots of moms treat their kids this way. i think it depends on what person someone is... whether is be dad, uncle, mom, cousin, nanny the list goes on. It depends on what kind of soul they have and that dictates the behavior around children. Some people have a short fuse but they have to learn to control it. Adults try to teach kids manners and the like but the adults are not very good role models.

Good sighting

accent? what accent? said...

A boy born in this country to British parents would not have the same accent as his parents. I have no idea what the relationship was between the two, but the adult acted wrong regardless. But, the accent doesn't give away the relationship. I have a heavy NYC accent but moved away. My son will not have the same accent at all.

Lindsey said...

Just my opinion, my 6 year old spills drinks so often. I do get pissed of, and he gets sent to his room. This happens because he is not paying attention, and bumps his drink with his arm. If he kept his cup where I told him he wouldn't have spilled it. So yes I get angry when I am cleaning up spilled apple juice or milk as much as I am pouring it.

DesignNanny,

Are you the nanny thats being posted about? You sound a bit defensive and like you are in the wrong profession.

Jane Doe said...

I wouldn't love it if a child spilled a tray of food on me, but I wouldn't get angry, especially if I had allowed a five year old to carry the tray. I think if you are going to get angry about something like that, you need to find another line of work. I wouldn't want you taking care of my children.

the real truth said...

She's an au pair; and doesn't know what a 5 year old should/shouldn't be capable of. Her behavior is more that of a teasing older sibling than a responsible adult.

Psyber Chica said...

Geez, all you have to do is get some napkins from the place you ordered your food from. I'm sure the food place would have replaced some of the food at no charge. I have 2 kids under 6, I have seen plenty of spills. There is no need to get angry or call names. Patience is a choice!

When I read the posts on here, I'm always wishing I was there. I would not sit silent while most of this crap goes on.

mom said...

real truth:

"Her behavior is more that of a teasing older sibling than a responsible adult."

Really? At 21...no, make that at 5,
I knew that to shame somebody and smash anything at all from the floor into their lunch, effectively forcing them to go hungry while watching me eat, was far beyond the realm of "teasing." I babysat from the age of 11, including infants, and never did it EVER even occur to me to treat any of the children in my care in even the slightest way unkindly, let alone abuse them to the degree of abuse detailed in this post. NO matter what they did. I knew it was my perogative to choose not to babysit a particular child a second time if he or she was too unpleasant to be with...but while I was in charges of watching that child, I considered it my absolute duty to treat them kindly.

What's so hard to grasp about that concept. How can anybody possibly defend an adult being paid to watch a child treating them any way but 100% respectfully?! it scares me to see some of the angry nannies who post here. If you don't like the child you watch, or feel great disdain for your employers, please move on to another job...OR, if you find yourself perpetually in the same bad situation from one child/employer to the next, please realize that the problem may just be YOU, and find a new profession.

MinuteMuggle said...

designnanny,
i agree with mom. you are scary. you seem to have a lot of bitterness towards moms who have nannies, which is a shame if you yourself are a nanny since childcare providers should be advocates for quality childcare which means advocates for people who need quality childcare.

that being said, it is never ok to shame a child for an accident. it is never ok to shame anyone for an accident. I spill stuff all the time. once in a restaurant I spilt my whole tray of food on myself and it was very embarrassing. I just don't see the debate here.

If it was a mom or a sister or a nanny or a stranger, it is not ok to get mad when someone spills something. that is just life.

DesignNanny said...

I am NOT the nanny of this child, I don't condone child abuse, and I am a nanny. I'm tired of reading all this shit you caddy bitches say about nannies you see doing something once. When in reality you do the same damned things!
Most you mothers either don't pay any attention to your kids while with your friends or you smother the shit out of them!!

I love the family I work for they actually care about their child, while some parents treat their nannies like shit, work them long hours, and don't want anything to do with their children. So maybe I'm bitter toward some of you women who go tell on these hard working nannies who are forced to be secondary parents to undisiplined chilren.

mom said...

Design nanny,
I'm sorry, but your last post did nothing to ease my mind regarding your stance toward children and/or employers.
Yes, if we see somebody abusing a child...even "just once," you'd better bet your a@@ it gets reported!
There are no "gimmes" when it comes to abusing kids. Good grief!

This post is heinous, and the fact that you are defending it is very, very frightening.

DesignNanny said...

I am not defending this woman's actions what so ever! I'm just stating that if your THINKING of reporting or talking about a nanny grow a pair of balls and tell them to their faces that you think what they are doing is wrong before you sit at your computer and post a blog like a little cowardly bitch!!

mom said...

So the heinous nanny deserves some special consideration as to how she is "outed?"

Did the little child deserve any such consideration?

Cruelty to a child ought to come back to haunt every perpetrator. And she doesn't have any right to "choose" how it does, IMHO.

I sincerely hope the child's parents see this and fire the nanny. And if it was a mom or family member, I hope appropriate measures are taken as well.

MinuteMuggle said...

Designnanny,

if you don't like this blog why are you here?

MissMannah said...

DesignNanny Said:

"I'm just stating that if your THINKING of reporting or talking about a nanny grow a pair of balls and tell them to their faces that you think what they are doing is wrong before you sit at your computer and post a blog like a little cowardly bitch!!"

OK, so why are you on this site? Is not the point of it to "out" bad nannies so we don't have to confront them in public? If you think that is so wrong, go away. Simple.

As for the nanny in question, I have my doubts this is a nanny. Or at least, she isn't a proper one, because a proper nanny would never behave that way. We all know the difference between a "nanny" and a "babysitter." But she kind of sounds like an older sister or cousin who is really resenting having to cart around this kid. Or, it could very well be the mother, she could have gotten pregnant at 15-16.

I think this is a good sighting because it is APPALLING anybody would act like this, especially in public. If OP had confronted her about it, you can bet she would have gotten an earful about how it isn't her business. And then the poor little boy would have to endure more wrath from this crazy woman.

I have two words for both DesignNanny and the nanny in the post: Anger Management!

MissMannah said...

MinuteMuggle, damn you beat me to it!

DesignNanny, something else that's been bugging me...it is spelled "catty" not "caddy." You know, as in "cat"?

DesignNanny said...

No anger management needed yall are just a bunch of cowards!! Be woman enough to confront your issues not childish and post it on a web site HOPING someone who hired a nanny sees it...

Dont get all mad that Im actually standing up for the nannies you stupid bitches are too afraid to confront. I hope one day you all can grow up and realize we arnt in 5th grade anymore. I'm also pretty sure that I'm a lot younger than all you wrinkled hags and the only IMMATURE thing im doing is continuing to argue with yall.

while yall sit back and judge all the women who work hard to discipline your spoiled brats who (run around thinking they own the world) bc your too busy with your sad excuses for lives sitting on your computers talking shit about the women you pay to take care of them.

Another Perspective said...

I was just wondering if the OP had a chance to see if the young lady changed her mind and ordered him food after she ate. I was thinking she may have just wanted to make the boy wait or just wanted to eat first because she was starving. Sometimes people say things they don't mean when they are really grumpy. The other thing I was thinking was that at 10:45 it was hopefully just a snack and he would have lunch soon after that. You never know, sometimes things seem worse than they are.

Momkat said...

Designnanny,
It is nice to see your perspective. People have posted on this board before about confronting nannies that are abusive to their charges--with some pretty harsh results from the nannies. It is tough to put yourself out there, and confront anyone--be it a nanny or parent--who is mistreating a child. So, this board is the next best things...at least there's a chance that a parent would see the post and be able to give the nanny a closer look. I would hope that no one would fire a nanny for an anonymous post on a board like this--but would use it as information to be considered and investigated. I'm sure you're a great nanny; and thank you for sharing your perspective.

ChiNanny said...

Hmmm, confronting a nanny in a situation like this would do what exactly? Start an argument in front of a child, possibly make the nanny angrier so that she takes it out on the child, and in the end, would her employers ever find out what she did? Nope! Do you think if a nanny is confronted she runs home to tell her employers about her bad behavior. I don't think so.

This site is to help those parents out. Hopefully if someone sees a post about their nanny here they will do some investigating.

And DesignNanny, grow up. You obviously don't belong working with children so find a new career and a new website to complain on.

just my opinion said...

Design Nanny
Ok, this is just a little thing, but very annoying every time I see it. Kind of like scratching your nails down a chalkboard, but it is spelled "catty" not "caddy". Catty means: she is a catty, foul-mouthed bitch. Caddy means: my golf cart took a swim in that pond over there, would you mind being my caddy and carry my clubs for me?

Thanks.

just my opinion said...

Miss Mannah
Sorry! Did not see your post, lol.

NVMom said...

Ok, I'm having little of my usual patience for some of these postings. I don't know why I'm giving any countenance to them. Design Nanny, you might have to look that one up. Don't tell us to grow up and stop acting like we're in fifth grade, when you a) write as though you are and b) act as though you are. Mature grown-ups don't come on blogs and call people names to try and get their weak arguments across.

And btw, Lindsey, stop sending your child to the his room every time he spills something. What is that really teaching him, except to feel bad about himself? It's not helping him or he wouldn't keep doing it. Sounds more like motor planning issues, something that usually improves with time, unless he's having other problems with gross or fine motor skills, and then you might need to get him some help.

just my opinion said...

Lindsey
Have you never heard the phrase: accidents happen? Why punish your kid by tossing him in his room? If he was purposely elbowing his drinks off the table to get a rise out of you I could see it, but come on, the kid is 6 yrs old - cut him some slack.

world's best nanny said...

What adult allows a child to carry his own tray and then yells at him when the inevitable happens? I don't care if it was a nanny or not, I don't care if it was "the last straw." You fume for a bit, but you never deny a child his meal or yell at him like that.
If this was a nanny she needs to get a grip, or quit.

huh? said...

What exactly does that last post mean? You are going to threaten a woman? Right.

emily said...

Lol, thank you MissMannah! I was wondering why someone would be using golf terms on a nanny site. I was thinking, seriously, what is a "caddy bitch"? It frightens me that such an angry person; someone with no common sense, (and apparently, not even the most basic understanding of what I assume is their native language) would be working with children. She is either a very good actress, or is only hired by desperate parents who are scraping the bottom of the barrel.

CuriousDad said...

Just had a weird thought maybe the Nanny did not have enough money to get he kid more food. Either on her or assigned by the parents.

MissMannah said...

Emily:

I'd say neither. I smell a bored teenage babysitter in our midst.

IMO. said...

CuriousDad,
1. She could have tried going back to the place where the food was from, explained the situation and that she didn't have any more money, and I'm willing to bet (as someone who's worked in the fast food industry) that they would have replaced the food to the best of their abilities if they had even half a heart.
2. She could have simply NOT MOOSHED the food that was probably still good and dry in the foil.
3. All else fails, she could have shared a little bit of her food.

There was no excuse for her to let him go hungry while forcing him to watch her stuff her gullet. Regardless of if this was the nanny, mother, sister, cousin, or whatever, this is a sickening display of behaviour. Almost as sickening as the behaviour that has been displayed on this board by Design Nanny. Were I a parent, I would never let either of these women near my child. There is no excuse to treat a child like this, especially for something that was her own fault. Did the kid want to carry the tray perhaps? Was the woman's hands full with her own tray rendering her unable to carry two trays? whatever, fine, she should have taken the soda off of the tray and put it on her own. Because knowing the size of food trays, she could have easily fit her own meal and two sodas on there. It's simple logic!