Sunday

CL-WTF?

Saturday, July 18, 2009
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.... WHAT?!

Feature Ad:
1) Nanny Needed - (Boston)
I need a reliable nanny to work 6a-6p M-F. I have 3 year old boy/girl twins, both are autistic. The girl is considered to be on the "autism spectrum." She can communicate and will play independently. She is deathly afraid of all animals, even a squirrel will upset her, so don't be surprised if she begins crying at the park for which seems like for no reason. She is easily consoled and I am hoping this animal thing will pass. Her brother is quite a handful. He can communicate, but he'll make no sense most of the time. He rarely stays at playing for long, he will flit from one thing to the next all day. He does not take no for an answer and will let himself out the doors to go to McDonalds. He will climb atop the fridge for whatever strikes his fancy. He will pull his sister by the hair away from something that he suddenly wants. He does not see people as he sees himself. We are toys to him, we have no feelings, we do not get sad or mad. He will say things to hurt your feelings. He will nap for 30 minutes then be up the rest of the day. His sister does nap 2 1/2 hours daily. I need someone who is high energy, patient, and caring. The boy cannot help himself and you have to remember that at all times. One thing he does love is eating, but we don't jam him full of food to make him obey. He is my son. I love him. Don't even begin preaching to me about programs, and homes or that he is spoiled. He is what he is....what was I supposed to do? Abort him?
The job pays $250 weekly, cash. Please be punctual. Be CPR certified. Persons with special needs education will be given preference.
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/kid/1265388886.html
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Special thanks to WorldsBestNanny for our Feature Ad. Also, thank you to vshirey317, MissDee, northjerseynanny, thenanny2009, Kaitlyn, Suzanne and cinder38... all of you did an amazing job this week! If you have a great Ad to share, make sure you Copy & Paste it along with the URL. Sometimes the Ad has been flagged by the time I get to it. Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

35 comments:

MinuteMuggle said...

It never fails: I can never seem to get past number one!

Wow. I had mixed feelings reading this mom's ad. I was really behind her and sympathizing until she said "don't preach to me about programs" because I know from experience how early intervention can help special needs children. And it's free! I think any parent who accepts that their child has autism and refuses the help that is there for them is just...ignorant. The poor kids. They need therapy: speech, OT, etc. And they need it now, before they get older! I hope the nanny they hire refers them to EI.

MinuteMuggle said...

lol @ number 12! lol

NannyinBoston said...

Number 1 is irritating on so many levels. First off love, you're a little to late to abort him, so that's not really an issue. Secondly, 3 is very very young to be diagnosed with autism, so I wouldn't take your doctors word for it. I do agree that there is definitely an issue with him, but I'm a little more inclined to think he has a major behavioral issue (along with some other issues possibly). This parent sounds like someone who might be using a diagnosis as an excuse for her childs behavior.

She didn't mention anything that sounded even remotely like autism (except fear of animals and outbursts with the sister which could be linked with a need for routine and similarity). Most autistic kids who are impulsive express it in rituals and repetitive motions, not running out to McDonalds.

I definitely think the kids needs treatment, but I'm willing to bet another diagnosis might be in order.

MinuteMuggle said...

nanny in boston,

it is quite easy for a good doctor to diagnose autism spectrum disorder at a young age. they may not know exactly where the child is on the spectrum and where treatment will lead them, but it is easily diagnosed. the child takes standardized tests (yes, at age two and three, tailored to their ages) to determine if they are autistic in any way. The testing also relies heavily on observations of the child's behaviors, observations that are done by the doctors and the parents.

But I am a big believer in getting second opinions, so the mother should by all means get one. But these symptoms that she described do sound like autism to me.

I was a little taken aback by her saying that the child feels they "have no feelings: we are just toys": that sounded a bit odd, and more like a psychological disorder to me, which can be difficult to diagnose at that age.

that being said, this mother sounds like a bit of an oddball. :( I hope her children get the help they need!

cali mom said...

Wow on #1. $4/hr to care for special needs twins 60 hrs/week. And don't "preach" to her about getting them any help. Just sick.

NVMom said...

MinuteMuggle, I agree with you. As the mother of a child w/autism, it's sad that someone would not want to get help for their kids. They probably were diagnosed and she just doesn't want to do anything about it. Weird.

Marypoppin'pills said...

MM
I put up #12 just for you! lol

cha cha said...

I want this letter to serve as an oasis of sanity in Miss Mary PoppingPills's desert of foolishness. You see, I unequivocally believe that much of Miss PoppingPills's behavior is not rationally calculated to be of benefit to the sadistic adolescents whom Miss PoppingPills claims to be trying to help. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that as that last sentence suggests, if I want to have a conniption, that should be my prerogative. I don't need Miss PoppingPills forcing me to.

According to Miss PoppingPills, most people believe that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. Really? Does Miss PoppingPills have some sort of mind-reading ability or did she get her information from a less reliable source? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that Miss PoppingPills says she's going to use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever noxious sybarites require of us faster than you can say "antianthropomorphism". Is she out of her mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that her cynical attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Miss PoppingPills, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that if one believes statements like, "An open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd," one is, in effect, supporting sex-crazed numskulls. In short, there is no reason to drag everything that is truly great into the gutter and there is every reason not to.

K said...

...what?

Marypoppin'pills said...

And I would say that I am sincerely confused! WTF?

cali mom said...

Translation" "Methadone, please".

Or maybe it was Midol, I couldn't quite follow that gibberish far enough to be sure.

Clover said...

cha cha's post sounds ALOT like this website I used to go to... you type in a name and it creates a random "complaint letter" and throws in that persons name and a bunch of weird things that hopefully make some kind of sense. Wish I could remember the site..

Anyways. These just blew me away. I can still barely get past the first one... honestly I have cared for a few children with autism and NO parent has tried the whole "oh well I love him let him misbehave." Autism or not, mental problems or not, children CAN be taught to behave, and that other people are human. Scary though.. many prisons are filled with serial killers who don't see other humans as equals or realize they feel pain and emotions. Hope someone teaches this boy before he becomes an adult.

Clover said...

I believe chacha's post was created at a site like this...

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/


I wrote a longer comment but it doesn't seem to have showed up.. and its a little too late for me to retype it. Guess I'll do that tomorrow.

MinuteMuggle said...

I don't get it.

ABANanny said...

NannyinBoston,

3 is certainly not a very young age to diagnose autism; I worked with a little boy who was diagnosed aged 2. I was his nanny/ABA therapist for 5 years until I moved away. A lot of the behaviors mentioned do sound like autism.

Only Dad Here said...

That's RIGHT Cha Cha !! You TELL that Miss PoppinPills where to get off. What you said needed to be HEARD!!

(crazy bitch)

nannyneedsanap said...

23- how is your nanny supposed to pay for their own vehicle on $50.00/week?

Momkat said...

I wonder if it's really appropriate to reproduce what are seemingly absurd CL ads on this website. If the purpose of this site is to call out positive, and negative, nanny sitings--what's the merit of posting what amounts to childcare "train wrecks?" There's absolutely nothing to be gained by reading them, or commenting on them.

MinuteMuggle said...

momkat,
that's an easy one: people are interested in CLWTF. and I think a great deal is to be gained, not the least of which is do's and don't's regarding posting ads about childcare.

world's best nanny said...

#1 Wow! I have worked with kids who had autism. I will not work with 2 of them at the same age and for $4 an hour. She almost sounds desperate. I wonder how many nannies have walked out on her?

Marypoppin'pills said...

WBN
Thank you for the Ad. And to MomKat, not only what MM said, but also the types of Discussions these Ads bring, like #1... I find to be very important and informative.

sed said...

I don't see anything wrong with number 10.... what am I missing?

L said...

sed- the main thing that I think is wrong with #10 is that her almost 5 year old wakes up at 10:30am. What young kid sleeps that late??? Sounds like this parent must keep her daughter up until past midnight if she is sleeping that late. And I wouldn't want to work for someone that irresponsible.

bad parents suck said...

Seems to me like #10 is inviting a lazy nanny to watch her kid! And this comment is really bothersome:
"She doesn't require a lot of caring she's pretty independent, but you cant leave a child home alone". What is it with parents saying their 5, 6, 7, 8, or so, year old kid is "independent" or "doesn't need much supervision"? That is just crazy to me!

just me said...

#8 just made me kind of sad. Maybe because I was the neurotic child who used to have a meltdown if my parents went away overnight and left me with my grandparents. But to invite a stranger to stay with your unsuspecting child for the entire weekend? Do you have any consideration for your child's feelings?

CuriousDad said...

What is wrong with #2?

Marypoppin'pills said...

Curious Dad
I just found it funny how she listed her MANY attributes in alphabetical order.

CuriousDad said...

Ok,

Did not catch that when I read it. That is interesting. Possibly an extremly organized person. Which could be a very good or a very bad thing.

mom said...

Actually, several cities provide excellent free services for children with a variety of challenges and disabilities. Try Irvine, California for one. My city, which I unfortunaltely feel too uncomfortable to name, also provides services to such children...for free. I met a mother a few years back with a severely autistic daughter who says the services the city has provided for her child have been an absolute Godsend.
I seriously think if I had a child with a severe disability that required serious long term intervention I would actually research the different programs offered by various cities and move, if necessary, to allow my child to participate in great, free, programs that would give them the best possible chance at a future of their own.

Minute Mugge is not idiotic at all...she's just informed. Please take her advice to heart and check out what is available in your area if you have a special needs child. You might be very surprised to find that well qualified help is available to you, for free.

wake up said...

Early Intervention in NY provides free therapy and free specialized, private school for autism and autism spectrum children.

Maybe you haven't looked.

Be an advocate for your child. Stick your head out and look and look and you will find! These are real therapists, highly educated and great schools.

Been there said...

I am a volunteer advocate for my child and other children as well and I am quite well informed as to what's available. I am also on a special task force asssembled by our senator to present ideas and recommendations to Washington regarding improved services for Austistic People. There are several excellent programs right in my area, all offer top notch therapy regardless of ability to pay and all have extremely long waiting lists. Some as long as 10 years.
Unless you have walked the walk and fouught the fight yourself please don't try to inform, advise or judge anyone with a child on the Spectrum. You really have NO idea. Working with Special needs kids doesn't count. No matter how dedicated you are you get to go home at the end of the day, we parents don't. I have had to fight constantly for any worthwhile service my child has received. In doing so, I have learned all about the laws in NJ. Oh yeah NJ is cponsidered one of if the not best state in the nation for Autism services and let me tell yoyu first hand, they aren't great.

And I stand by my earlier assessment of Minute Muggles post.

mom said...

Been there,

Minute Muggle has a child on the Autism spectrum. So I think that qualifies her to speak about it to us, just as your experiences qualify you to do the same. Obvioulsy she has found qualified, free treatment for her child where she lives.

Every experience is different and things obviously vary from place to place. The people I know of who used the services for their children had them provided immediately...no long waiting lists. That's just one city in California and one city in Texas that I have first hand knowledge about.

Don't criticize another mom who is struggling with your same issue. You of all people must know how it feels to find yourself in such a place, and I still say there is nothing more painful than when something goes wrong with one of your children. MM is just a mom, like you, who is trying to share her experiences with those who might be helped. Don't beat her down for it. Be thankful that somebody here might get information that they may someday use themselves, or be able to pass on to a friend in need.

That said, I'm sorry your experience in New Jersey has been so difficult. I can see why you must be so frustrated, and even angry (I think I would be angry too if I were in your shoes), because 10 years is too long to have to wait when immediate interventiion is such a necessity with Autism.

Ashley said...

It's amazing to me these people who post such LONG list of the caregiver's responsibilities when you get to the end it like peanuts. And as for #1, anyone who is qualified enough to take care of two 3 years old Autistic children is certainly gonna make more than $4 an hour. What kind of person is this mother gonna leave her child with. Certainly not someone qualified enough to help them and certainly someone who gonna attempt to put them in front of the television.

MinuteMuggle said...

mom,

thank you for your kind words of support: they are much appreciated!

:)

MinuteMuggle said...

been there,

also, I don't agree with the fact that you need to have a child with autism to offer advice. None of the people on my child's early intervention team have children with special needs and they are so educated and amazing when it comes to autism, I have learned so much from them. my childs case manager has also been wonderful in helping me find programs and support for my child that is free.

I too, like mom, am sorry you have had such a hard time finding services for your child. For us, personally, there was no waiting period, my child was diagnosed quickly and began recieving services immediately.