Posted Thursday, June 25, 2009
I am in a desperate search for a new nanny and as such could use your guidance. For the first time, we will be employing a live-in nanny. Our home is in the suburbs and has what is called a mother in law's suite. This suite consists of a counter top, small refrigerator, microwave, a 10 x 12 living room, a 9 x 13 bedroom and a large bathroom. The room also has a front closet for coats and a large closet in the bedroom. This area is accessed by one door off of our game room. Once you enter the suite, the bedroom is off to your left and the bathroom is off to your right. Because we have just relocated, we anticipate having a lot of house guests, especially at Christmas. I have several questions regarding the live-In's role and my obligations to her. First, as I am not required to provide such luxurious accommodations, is there any harm from telling her from the start that her accommodations include the bedroom and shared use of the bathroom? Second, if the nanny goes home at Christmas time (something we definitely will be looking for), would there be any problem with allowing some of our relatives to occupy her bedroom? The bedroom is nicely equipped with a lovely bed from Crate & Barrel and ample space for our guests to unpack. Another question I have is we do not require our live-in to work on weekends, how would you advise we facilitate her exit on the weekends? Should we stick to hiring a nanny who lives with family and sell the job as strictly a five day live-in job? If we do allow the nanny to live-in all seven days, there is NO WAY I am paying for her meals on Saturday and Sunday. Is there a gentle way to word this that will not dissuade qualified nannies from applying for our position? Lastly, the game room and this suite overlooks our backyard and pool area and we entertain quite a bit during the summer; I would find it incredibly odd if the nanny was looking out on us & our guests. Ideally we would prefer the nanny to keep the window treatments closed. Do you think that is a lot to ask? We are furnishing her a lovely, modern bedroom with great amenities including a flat screened television, DVD player, satellite television and a jacuzzi style bath tub. My objective here is to find the nanny that will mesh with our family and not encroach on our lifestyle, but also to find the highest caliber of nanny, and a professional nanny at that.
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81 comments:
Oh. My. God.
I mean, seriously? Where did y'all find this?! Lol!
Wow. Just... Wow
Really?? This can't be real. First off let me address the fact that you are deluded and seem not to know anything about what a nanny should get or should be doing. Maybe you should worry less about her "encroaching," on your lifestyle and more worried that your children are in the best possible hands.
Secondly, are you looking for a live-in or not? There is no such thing as a 5-day a week live in. If I ever had a land lord tell me that I could only live in the APT. that I'm paying rent for, (essentially that is what she is doing if you are paying her less because she gets room and board) for 5 days a week, and find other accomodations, I would tell him to kiss my ass! What, you want her to find a motel on the weekends? How absurd.
I can't even believe you suggested she be ok with someone staying in her room for the holidays, have you lost your mind? A nanny is entitled to a private space (a shared bathroom is ok, although not desireable) Not a space that you regulate.
Can she keep the curtains shut when you are swimming? WTF do you plan to do at the pool that you don't want her to see? She is an employee, and like most nannies will likely become part of your family, you can't cast her away as you see fit or treat her like you own her.
Seriously do all nannies a favor and hire a live-out nanny, that way none of this is a problem, the pay shouldn't be that different anyway.
Employers who hire live-ins think they are offering so much, doing the nanny a favor, GET OFF IT!! You're not. Do you forget you have access to her 24/7, if there is an emergency or you need to do something last minute, she is there. You don't usually have to worry about her being late, and sadly employers think it is ok to come home late every night because the nanny lives there anyway.
So believe me, you aren't doing anyone any favors with your 'Luxurious" room and your flat screen TV. If anything lady, your encroaching on the nannies lifestyle!
Wow...for someone who cares for your most precious possessions, your child(ren), I would expect you could bend and twist things just a little better in her favor. Sounds like a lavish jail cell....or a dream job, w/a hefty price tag.
This is a perfect illustration of how people view their nannies, as only "hired help". While I appreciate your honesty (REALLY), the way you phrase your concerns sounds so pathetic that I pity the woman who works for you, I mean...c'mon...making her close her window treatments? What damage can one do if she sees you and your friends out in the pool? Do you guys really look that bad in your bathing suits?
Please re-think how you will treat your future nanny before you hire one. She is a HUMAN BEING, she has feelings and if you really want her gone on X-mas, make sure you state that to her in her contract. Not everyone has family that they can go see, or even want to see for that matter, so do not expect her to take a vacation. However, a better idea if you would like her gone for X-mas is for you to send her and a friend to Paris...or Hawaii....for the week so you can enjoy your family w/out the hired help eating some of your fruitcake on a (GASP).....Saturday or Sunday.
Um. You are insane.
Don't get a nanny. Get someone else to take custody of your children and you go check into a facility somewhere.
Looking at your guests in the pool? Really??
Thank God you decided to ask these questions instead of just jumping into the hiring of your nanny...
You are going to get a TON of crap for this post...but I'll go ahead and try to answer your questions...mostly because I think you need a healthy dose of reality.
Firstly: I am assuming you are a working professional? Running with this assumption, imagine that you are taking a pay cut in order to live at the office. Maybe housing is something you need, maybe the perks make it worth it...but imagine that your boss lives there as well, and your work is CONSTANT. You don't even get your own bathroom.
How does that sound?
A live-in nanny situation can be very mutually beneficial (ESPECIALLY for the FAMILY), and they often work out really well...however you do not sound like you really want a live in.
What are you basing your idea that someone would want to be a live in nanny if they had THEIR OWN family close by that they could live with? THE ONLY way that you could approach this topic with an applicant would be a statement along the lines of "we won't need you on the weekends, so you are free to make other plans to stay other places, or go home for the weekend." You may not demand it. (Though I must say, that if your search for a nanny was restricted to those who want a 5 day live in situation...the nanny world would be a little bit better, because it's likely one would not be in your employ.)
If your nanny does go home for the Holidays, I see nothing wrong with asking her permission to let relatives stay in her room while she is gone. I would say yes if it was me. However, you should not insist that she go home for the holidays. Again, put yourself in the situation. What if she has no where to go? You can't remove her from her home when her living there becomes inconvenient to you. Again, I suggest you seek a live out nanny.
No, you must definitely not, under any circumstances, require that she keep the window treatments closed during the summer. What do you think you are running, a prison? She is not a slave! She should be allowed to see the sun! What do you think she will be standing at the window staring at you and your guests...probably singing a song about longing to be free.
(continued because of length)
No, you are not required to provide such "luxurious accommodations" when employing a live in nanny, however, it is standard that if there IS a MIL suite...the whole suite would be the nanny's. It would not be horrible of you to have her share the bathroom...but I would suggest that at least to let it be a shared bathroom from 9am-8pm or something like that, but during the late evening, night, and early evening have the kids (etc.) use a different bathroom?
The language you use in your post turns my stomach a little bit, however if you do "allow" your nanny to live in her room all 7 days of the week her meals should not change. You are not required to provide full meals any day of the week frankly, and this is something you can work out with the nanny. There are many options you could go with... you could offer her two meals a day, and have her fend for herself (with the use of your kitchen, as well as her own little kitchen thing), you can purchase a set amount of food for her every week...you can give her a set amount of money to shop for food every week... etc. But out of all the options, I feel like the worst of the options would be to provide 3 meals a day for her 5 days a week and cut her off for the other two. Maybe 3 meals a day for 5 days a week and then some money for weekend meals so there is no obligation on either side to dine together? Just work it out with your nanny, you may have failed to realize that she will be a human being...but actuality she has a brain and is probably up to the task of some negotiating.
Do not hire a nanny at all if you intend on treating her like she is anything less than a human, like a slave, or like she is anything less than you. You say you want a good nanny...that means she has probably had schooling, she may even have a degree! This is her career choice, and if you want a good nanny you have to treat her well!
Above all be empathetic. Put yourself in her situation. Ask yourself "if I was this nanny, would I like to spend the summer with my blinds shut all the time?" Hopefully that will help you out.
Sorry this is so long... I had a lot to say :).
Where will she go on the weekends? If you hire a live-in your home is their home.....duh!
Heaven help us if the nanny looks out the window at your guests!
Do us all a favor and put your kids in a daycare, and seek treatment immediately!
You have a cob so far up your ass that you are worried your nanny may LOOK at you on the weekends?
God bless whoever they end up hiring!
ugh. sheeeeesh. ugh ghaaaaaa.
that is all. :(
I think that in all our outrage we're not addressing the (small percentage) of the OPs questions which are reasonable.
My first nanny job was for a family who used my bedroom for family visits and occasionally as the coat room while having a party. This never bothered me, I was perfectly willing to give up my room--especially when I wasn't going to be in it. Why? Because I loved them and I knew that they respected and cared about me. We were like family and that's what family does, compromises and accommodates the others. The OP does not seem, however, to be looking for a nanny to become like a family member, however, so I'm not sure this is going to work out for her.
Secondly, I am currently employed as a 5-day Live-in, so Lindsey, there most certainly is such a thing. But you know what? We get paid more than a Live-out does because of the amount of flexibility we offer the family and the fact that we are paying rent elsewhere. So, OP, you can have that space to use all weekend/holidays long if you like--but be prepared to shell out a minimum of $800/week. Are you prepared to do that?
The window shade thing is just crazy. You can't keep your nanny in a little box and pretend she's not there when she's inconvenient.
OP--This sounds just awful! You want a live-in nanny but you want her to be gone when she is not needed. You don't sound like a very generous or giving person. And closing the blinds in her room while you and your guests are at the pool?.....shudder!!!
I think your biggest concern should be to find a nanny who has less contempt for your children than you do towards nannies. Seriously, you seem to have some issues about sharing your home with an employee who will be raising your kids. It doesn't sound like a healthy thing for you to do until you get over that.
I think your life will be easier if you do not hire a live-in nanny. If you want your nanny away on week-ends, you should be ready to pay her more because she still has to sleep and feed herself on those days as well.
It does make sense that you would like to have the room for Christmas and family occasions, but you should let her know and ask her if this would be a problem for her.
I am baffled by the pool story, though. You do not want her to watch you and your friends while you are having a party. Why do you think your nanny would derive great pleasure from secretly watching you and your friends, and what do you think she would learn about you that she would not have learned already from living in your house?
The lady cracks me up..."Oh, and Nanny, do you mind not eating from Friday at midnight to Monday at 6.00 am?" This one is in for a rude awakening.
It really reminds me of "The Nanny Diaries." haha! "Nanny...would you mind..."
lol
Maybe OP is planning to hire someone off the sex offender registry? It's the only way I can understand:
a) how they expect the "nanny" will be okay with these prison-like conditions, and
b) why they are so concerned about the "nanny" looking at them in the pool
Why the need for a live-in? Sounds like she isn't really needed/wanted in her "off time." Just let her live out and solve all your issues.
I think the employer is concerned about her guests feeling uncomfortable by a nanny staring at them. I mean some nanny's have no couth. But otherwise, this person is really just trying to establish up front what a whole lot of employers through down on their employees one month in, so I respect that.
ahahaha you want a live-in nanny whom you want to sleep in 5 days a week and won't pay for her meals on Saturday and Sunday??
I'm guessing you're just too cheap to pay the full live-out price.
Live-in nannies are cheaper because they don't have to pay RENT and FOOD. If you make her leave during the weekend and holidays, she would need to rent a place somewhere, wouldn't she?
Live-ins have to put up with a lack of privacy and so on.
You are NOT ready for a live-in nanny. You have no idea what it entails.
Just make your nanny a live-out position. Problems solved!
And I thought I had a rough live-in situation!!
OP, I'm going to reply to your post from the viewpoint of a live in nanny, because that is what I currently do. Here we go:
1. No, you're NOT required to provide "luxurious" accommodations, however, if you have the space free, and you refuse to give it to the nanny because she doesn't deserve it, your nanny WILL grow resentful. That is exactly where I am right now- my employer has a basement area that can easily be utilized as a studio apartment but she refuses to let me have that because she feels she already gives me enough in my tiny little bedroom and, yes, shared bathroom. I worked with it for a year, but I'm approaching my 2 year mark and couldn't be more unhappy or resentful. She's seen it in how I act with the children and we're in the process of coming to a "solution" (i.e. I'm moving out or quitting, and she knows this.)
All of that to say- no, not required, but yes, it'll bite you in the ass if you withhold it.
2.First off, why are you expecting your nanny to go home at Christmas time?? What if she doesn't have the money to pay for transportation? If you ARE expecting (sounds like you're requiring actually...) her to go home, then you should definitely be prepared to be giving her that time off as PAID vacation, and offer to vouch for her ticket, because being alone on the holidays is YOUR choice, not hers. Remember, if you're wanting to hire a live-in nanny, the space you're giving her should be treated like her OWN HOME. Whether its a 4x4 room or the entire pool house, that space is HERS and should be treated as such. Therefore, yes, it IS a problem for the relatives to occupy her bedroom at any point in time. The room I currently live in is the only guest bedroom, and my employers deal with it by having their children bunk up together and giving one of the kids room to the guests when they stay over. Your kids can deal with sharing a bedroom for a few days while relatives are in town.
3. Again, this space your giving your nanny is her HOME. Therefore, if she wants to lock herself away for the weekend and watch lifetime movies or just hang around in her room alone, let her. It's her place.
4. Any qualified nanny will see the situation for what it really is, gentle wording or not. There really is no price tag on someone's comfort and happiness. Even if you hire someone who's happy at first, the living situation will eventually wear on them and you'll see it in the way your kids are being cared for, and I'm assuming you want nothing but the best for your children.
5. The window treatments have been beaten to death already. Suffice to say, I agree with everyone else- you can not, in any way shape or form, ask her to close the blinds/curtains. Simple.
If you're not prepared to offer her total privacy, plenty of living space, and the ability to COME and go as she pleases, you should most definitely NOT hire a live-in nanny. Even if it seems to work for the first 3, 6, or even 12 months, don't be deceived- everyone has their breaking point.
Please let us know what you decide to go with.
I promise everyone that I know correct English- grammar and spelling included! That last post looks like a butcher went at it with my grammar! It's nearing the end of the week and I just got through some awful finals. Please excuse the dreadful English!
I agree with Momkat. This has to be a live out situation.
If you make your home her home, you have to expect to see her living and lounging about on her hours off, like every other normal person does. Not only can you not ask her to keep her blinds closed, but it would be fairly rude to ask her to stay out of the pool itself when you have guests, unless she is working during those hours. The lack of food available on the weekends is just too awkward to navigate comfortably. The bottom line is that you simply cannot have anybody feel this unwelcome in the place where she lives.
I don't like people underfoot in my house, period, so I understand where you are coming form in wanting your privacy. But you can't have it both ways, because everybody has feelings, not just you. You are not the type of person who is going to be comfortable having anybody in your house during non working hours. Face it and get a live out nanny with specific hours. Your guest suite will be available 24/7 and your kids can pee freely in any bathroom throughout the entire house whenever they want.
Good luck.
It does have to be a live-out position because otherwise the nanny-employer agreement would have to read:
1) Nanny's accommodations include the bedroom and shared use of the bathroom.
2) Nanny is required to leave at Christmas time, during which time her bedroom will be occupied by family guests--and the closets, dressers, etc. must be vacated to allow our guests to put their clothing away.
3. Nanny must leave the premises on the weekends, and if nanny decides to stay there is NO WAY we'll provide her with food on Saturdays and Sundays. That is her responsibility.
4. At all times, and especially if we're entertaining at the pool, you MUST keep your window treatments SHUT! We do not want you looking out the window!!!!
5. We require you to accept all of the above stipulations while meshing with our family and NOT encroaching on our lifestyle.
If this is how the agreement would look; I don't think you'll have any takers for the job!
Hmm, I'd also like to apologize for the grammar, sentence fragments, etc in my last post. I had actually gotten off the computer to go to bed and then decided that I just HAD to respond to this! Heh
lol @ momcat! well said!
MomKat
Love your Work Agreement!
No question this woman shouldn't have a live in nanny. Given her attitude, I don't think a live out nanny will work either. What professional would ever want to put herself in this situation?
Why not just get a babysitter for the hours OP will be out of the house? I have a feeling she's going to be going through a lot of them.
Wow :( I feel for who ever walks into that situation. Nannies are people too, they aren't objects to be used at your whim and then 'put away' when no longer needed. What worries me is they are raising their children to think there is a class of people beneath them.
Wow... Just wow...
I would like to hear from OP and know what her feelings on these responses are.
OP, if you are out there, let's have an open discussion about your feelings. I'm sure more posters would be curious to know if our advice has helped.
I agree with most of the posters here. Either get a live-out nanny. Or look into daycare. It doesn't seem like a live-in nanny will work for your family.
And why should the nanny be miserable. Are you really that paranoid that she will be watching your guest and family having fun in the backyard, etc???
This is too funny
I just wrote a hugely long response and it doesn't seem to be coming up . . . Did you receive this MPP and Jane?
Lady, you are a piece of work. I'm guessing you're one of those annoying nouveau riche people, who came into her money last week and just can't wait to have power and control over another person. Seriously? You want to control whether or not she can open her "window treatments."
You need to learn that your household help are to be cherished and valued. You will find that people who are treated well tend to do their jobs more efficiently and help to create a much more harmonious household.
OK, I hate to change the subject on such an interesting thread, but I just got back from the gym, where Oprah Winfrey was on television. I could see that the story was about a child, so I plugged my earphones into that channel and heard the most heartwrenching story from a mom who let her beautiful little two year old sit in a hot car and die while she taught school for 8 hours.
Did anybody else happen to see it? If so, is there sympathy for her at all from any of the people who said on the other thread that they could never see doing this? I felt bad for her...and especially for her husband (whose job it normally was to drop her at daycare, but had a dentist appt. that day, so asked mom to do it)...not nearly as bad as I felt for the poor baby girl, of course...but nevertheless I felt awful for them. The police interview of the mother was hard to watch.
The one thing I will say is that, again, this seems to happen mostly to people who don't typically spend their days with their children. I know not everybody has a choice...but I do still wish that where there is a choice people would choose to center their lives around rising their children...if they choose to have some. It's not mandatory to have children. It's a choice. A serious one. But if they are the center of your life, it is absolutley true that they could not possibly go missing for hours unnoticed.
There will be noisy partying guests around the pool right outside my window? How late will this be going on? And no stove in the kitchen, where I must prepare my own meals on the weekends------oh, I should find somewhere else to sleep on the weekends. I have to pack up all my clothes, books, computer etc. so you can use "my" room over Christmas. Can I store them at your house, or do I have to take it all with me?
Job applicant
SO you're not going to let her use the kitchenette in the suite and there is "NO WAY" you will feed her on the weekend. So she will be forced to dine out all weekend? What if she doesn't have that kind of money?
How much did you plan on paying this nanny anyway? If you expect her to maintain an apartment to use only 8 or 9 days a month you will have to shell out a pretty penny. You would be better off giving her the whole suite.
You sound cruel and unusual. I have never heard in my life someone afraid of having a person that lives in their house see them in the backyard. That is bizarre.
Perhaps you are having cocaine parties or orgies?
Otherwise you must be expecting the nanny to be a creepy, shadowy figure, staring evilly at your guests like some horror movie. Not the kind of person I would want watching my kids!
Unreal.
meet me in a dark alley and ask me those dumb ass questions
I think the situation COULD work IF your nanny had say- a boyfriend that she stayed with on weekends. I would consider the position in that case.
I wouldn't mind keeping the curtains closed during parties, whatever. Also, being that I would only "live" there M-F and not likely to be keeping a lot of my things there (rather at BF house) I wouldn't care what was done with the accommodations when I was on vacation or whatever- as long as I had notice.
I would also expect to be paid as a LIVE OUT as obviously the accommodations are an inconvenience to myself and a convenience to the family. If anything- more than average live out pay.
Dear OP,
This is the ad you need to run. Good Luck.
Suburban family ISO 5 day week LI nanny. We need someone who can live in from Sunday at 9 pm - Friday at 6 pm. We will provide a bedroom and shared bath for you to use during your time here. We will also provide 1 - 3 weeks paid leave over Christmas, (in ADDITION to the standard 2 weeks paid vacation and regular paid holidays) so that you can celebrate with your family while we do the same.
Because this position does not include full room and board, we will be offering a premium salary to compensate you for having to maintain 2 living spaces. We recognize the inherent inconvenience to you, and we plan to offer appropriate compensation.
Ultimately, you will be "borrowing" a room and bath from us 5 nights of the week, and we will ask that you keep a minimal amount of personal belongings on the premises, because we will use your room as a guest room with little or no notice.
We also have specific house rules about when you may have your windows uncovered, and we will not allow you to eat anything we have purchased outside your 5 day work time.
If this special situation appeals to you, and you are a high caliber professional nanny willing to live as a guest employee in our home, please contact us with your resume, previous LI experiences, and salary requirements.
mom-
"The bottom line is that you simply cannot have anybody feel this unwelcome in the place where she lives."
This, exactly.
I hear in the OP's questions, a real concern about being able to maintain privacy with a live-in nanny. I would have that same concern, because I really value privacy. I also would not have a live-in nanny for that reason. When you invite another, non-related adult to live in your home, you necessarily give up some of your privacy.
I wouldn't wish this position to my enemies. She/He is looking for a slave; "there is NO WAY I am paying for her meals on Saturday and Sunday"/"keep the window treatments closed". This person is revolting & putrid!
AHAHAHAHA Brooklyn Nanny! I just DIED laughing :)
I'll be in DUMBO tomorrow night, if she offers to meet up with you, give me a heads up. I'd like a chance to "answer" her questions too :)
OP, you sound like a raving clueless psycho A-hole. I'm so glad you posted-now nannies everywhere will know it's you when they meet you for the interview and you start babbling about how they will be required to keep their curtains closed, etc. I won't bother to answer any of your questions because you clearly wouldn't care about any answers you got. In a nutshell, you'[re either too cheap or too poor to have a nanny (and I don't usually feel this way). Find a good daycare and throw a buck or two to that homeless guy at the bus station for those off-daycare hours when you need someone to watch your kids. At least you know that without a doubt, you look better in your bathing suit than he does.
Wait... did you say FLAT screen TV? Sweet!! I'd close those curtains anyway just so the picture "pops" that much clearer.
Whew! This discussion is going doooown hill, fast! Shall we quit while we're all still civil?
no, i want to hear what the OP has to say. assuming the post was fake.
i meant NOT fake..
Kungfu barbie,
Is that just a name you made up, or do you practice kung fu?
I would like to hear from the OP as well, but this is not the reaction she was expecting, I assume. She thought we would give her permission to treat her new nanny as a serf, and she is shocked, SHOCKED we didn't agree with her.
What can she say? She has no value for the woman who will be raising her children for most of their waking hours.
When I lived in my *HoMe* was where I worked. I did not share my space with others be it a bathroom or living space. I did not share my space with guests who may be visiting.
What you are contemplating is wrong and should be reworked for a better working relationship with your nanny to be.
I think the OP is really hoping that EXACTLY the right person will just fall into her hands. Like someone who lives 45 minutes away and still could live with mommy and daddy, but can't make the commute daily. Therefore they would be GLAD to go home on the weekends! and for the holidays. etc.
However even if she does find that person... I don't the the closing of the "window treatments" can be justified. Hah.
I also have NEVER gone "HOME" for any holidays since moving to my location 20+yrs ago.
deeply saddened,
ew. why tag this great thread with jacko? gross. :( grtbr, imo. go to CL celebforum instead.
Michael Jackson was a pervert and a child predator, how dare you lay memory to him here on a blog that lobbies to protect children.
If any Dr does find him/herself in trouble with aiding or causing the death of that freakshow, said person(s) will also find an envelope with a $100 bill in it delivered to their home(s).
I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Good riddance!
I am no MJ fan and I don't think he needs to be randomly mentioned here.That being said, ro, why are you such a rank bat-fowling boar-pig on every single topic? Are you mentally ill or just so disatisfied with your life that you live for being as nasty as possible to anyone who dares to diasgree with you? Please answer. I am sincerely curious.
you're right ro. I totally agree.
OP, as you stated that you were seeking " the highest caliber of nanny, and a professional nanny at that."
Here is what a top tier nanny will expect, if she agrees to your conditions.
She will NOT consider this a live in job. She will expect a weekly salary, plus the usual supplement paid for overnights, $100-$150 a night, depending on where you live. She will not consider what you described luxurious accommodations, not even having her own bathroom. She will therefore be taking the position because of the very high salary.
If you truly need a live in, then you will have to adjust your requirements, or settle for less than what you termed "the highest caliber nanny".
About Michael Jackson
There were allegations of child abuse. He was never found guilty. He had a trial just like anyone else.
And I just saw a post about Tvs on here. What gives??
Honestly, sometimes you nannies are so snotty. For someone green at being an employee to a live in nanny these are simple and honest questions. Obviously she did not want to come across poorly and went someplace where she could get some insight from others. At least she has tried thinking things through.
Are some of you so insecure in your lives that you can't be supportive, but instead have to continually tear others down and make fun of posters?
Not just a nanny,
In this case, I think it is because she was talking about hiring a nanny as if the nanny was less of a person because of her profession. She seems to be of the opinion that there are such things as good nannies... but those good nannies are not as “good” as her, or her family, guests, and friends.
I don't think anyone was really being "snotty". She asked for opinions on the subjects, wanting to know if it was acceptable and she was given a very resounding "NO."
Whatever your personal thoughts, I find it distasteful to speak ill of the dead.
(And I seriously have no idea who in particular said what about MJ...so I'm not trying to personally flame anybody.)
At the end of the day he was found innocent, no matter what you believe. 12 jurors of his peers found him innocent and because we live in America we go by the mantra INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty and he was not proven guilty therefor we have to rely on our justice system and declare him innocent.
How would you feel if you were accused of a heinous crime and then found INNOCENT and yet people still decided you were guilty?
I am far from a fan of his, in fact I have never heard one of his songs all the way through but we still have to have faith in our justice system.
You have never heard a Michael Jackson song all the way through?!?! Bad? Thriller? Did you ever listen to the radio in the eighties? or nineties? I am not trying to start a discussion on the matter...but I find that VERY hard to believe.
Lola I was born in the early 80s and I was raised by a very strict mother in the south, heck I was just a couple of months old when Thriller came out. I was allowed to listen to Christian or Country music and nothing else. Now all I listen to is country, I simply don't like Michael Jackson's music.
I also have a hearing problem and it makes it hard for me to hear words in songs if the music is to loud and I've found that M J's music as well as most music other than country is hard for me to understand.
TC, go to YouTube and listen to the Jackson 5 sing "ABC"...I think you will like it!
these people are sick. what would it be like to think like that and have no idea you weren't normal?
You're right mom, one should not speak ill of the dead.
But I still agree with ro. And as far as his innocence being proven?
So was OJs.
Minutemuggle OJ was found GUILTY in a civil suit........
Now we really should get back to the discussion at hand. OJ, MJ and country music ;) have nothing to do with the topic at hand.
Let's try to keep the comments relevant to the Post. Any other comments on Michael Jackson will be Deleted.
This women sounds miserable!! She should not have any nanny at all because she probably has a husband who is so sick of her that he will be sleeping with the nanny in no time!
yes I have been there and done that!
MPP: done and done. ;)
OP: I am still waiting to hear from you. I think others would agree. Let's have your input! I am dying to hear your responses on the advice you have gotten here.
TC: your post was longer than mine.
**sticks out tongue***
All I am going to say is that you shouldn't have children OP, and therefore, shouldn't be an employer because you sound like a total bitch who is only concerned about yourself. You remind me of my ex boss from 2 years ago-the psycho crackhead bitch-who treated me like shit. She lost her daycare lisence last year, got it back and lost it again, to possibly be out of the daycare business for good. She demoted me from supervisor within 2 days because she didn't want me to find out the things she was doing that were illegal. Could you want to jail your nanny and treat her like shit to hide the drug habits and other weird things you may have about you?
Oh my gosh, this woman is not the devil.
She may be a little self absorbed...and/or maybe just completely in the dark as to what constitutes an appropriate employer/nanny relationship.
People are getting a little OVER worked up about this, I would say. I absolutley wouldn't want to work under the conditions she presents...but it's not like anything she suggests is actually abusive, dangerous or illegal. Cheap and unwelcoming, perhaps. Evil, no. If somebody takes the job under these circumstances, she will find the living situation irksome and inconvenient, and her employer less than warm. That's all. It will also probably be a short term position for whoever takes it.
Or, maybe OP really did just want some advice about what is appropriate and she will now consider simply hiring a live out nanny and all will be well.
I agree with Mom. I don't think the OP is the devil incarnate, but from the tone of her post, she comes across as an inconsiderate and selfish employer. The thing that bothers me about this, from a nanny's prospective, is that how a nanny is treated affects the children. If she is unhappy, no matter how professional she tries to be, she won't be able to be at her best. Secondly, children pick up on the parents attitude toward the nanny. If they don't respect her, neither will the children, and she is the one spending ten hours a day with them, trying to instill good manners, kind behavior, and self discipline. If she is undermined, the family will pay in the long run. I hope I am wrong about the OP, and that she really wants the best for her children.
Has the OP responded yet?
Maric,
No, she hasn't. But, it's the weekend. Perhaps she's been too busy entertaining guests in her backyard and pool area, overlooked by the lovely and luxurious Crate & Barrel suite with the fancy window treatments and that may or may not be shared between the prospective nanny and the OP's relatives.
I agree with EVERYTHING Lindsey said. I couldn't have said it better myself. The other comments that try and justify like..oh if she had a boyfriend she could stay with, it might work out....ahhh NUH. This post was just retarded.
& Brooklyn Nanny...BAHAHAHAHA!
I'm not going to comment on anything else but the windows, what the hell kind of bad judgment do you have that you'd have to add that as a clause to a contract? Seriously. If you're honestly seeking someone that has the welfare of your children in mind, why would you hire someone skeevy enough to just stare out the window at you and your "guests"? Or do you have an extra special pool boy that does a little more than pool care?
Anyone ever watch that episode of Law and Order: SVU with one of the Russian (I think?) nannies that got killed by the mom and had a situation similar to this?
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