Tuesday

Seal Park at 8th and 22nd, NYC

Received Tuesday, June 2, 2009
nannysighting
When: June 1st approx 4:30
Where: Seal Park at 8th and 22nd, NYC
Child Description: Caucasian Boy, about 4 or 5, wearing a black Subway T shirt (A line?), Brown Hair.
Nanny: see pic

My kid and I played with some other boys in the planter at the NE corner. There were some adults but no one that seemed to be with him.The child described above was struggling to understand that the child who owned some of the best trucks (not my kid), could decide when and whether to share them. Since he was 4 or 5 year old, this is pretty reasonable for him to understand). Since there was no one who seemed to be watching him, I tried to help him by explaining it and by also allowing him to help out in a different way, getting water, which we were using to make some mud to put into small trucks. I also let him use my son's truck for a while. When I asked him to help my kid (who is younger) to get the water and at first, he grabbed the cup and ran away, but after he heard my son cry he turned around and agreed to do it together. I helped them do this and he did fine. He seems like a smart little guy, but he could really use some help with learning how to play/interact with others (what 4 or 5 year old couldn't?). Looking back, I would say that he was not making friends/interacting as easily as the others his age were...

We played there for about 20 minutes or so, and when it was time for us to gather our stuff, he said he didn't want to give up our truck. I explained that it needed to go but he could help us give it a truck wash in the drinking fountain. He liked the idea and we all went to wash shovels, trucks....

At this point, his nanny came over and started in on him, she wasn't yelling but it was certainly said with disdain. She had a smaller girl with her, I assume his sister. She told the boy he shouldn't play in dirt (hello? did you not see him with us in the dirt planter for last 20 minutes? at least from the time we got there?) and kept repeating it. He tried to explain, but she was pretty hung up on the fact that he got dirty (trust me, this kid had hardly gotten dirty, I know dirty!). She looked at the truck and demanded to know where it came from, i explained it was ours and we were all washing it. She continued to go on about the dirt and i finally said "well, he IS a boy!" (yes, I know this is sexist, but it was the best i could come up with at the moment).

Anyway, she put him in the stroller and left in a huff (continuing to go on about being dirty). I took a picture with my cell phone from a distance when she was leaving and you can see the back of the nanny.

While not abusive, this nanny certainly did not do a good job supervising this boy, since she seemed to have no idea what he was doing for a long period of time and the little guy could have used the social help. (She did not seem like she could have done this well even if she had been paying attention to his whereabouts).

I hope the parents reconsider whether their kids need a more positive, encouraging nanny with their children.

15 comments:

cali mom said...

Great sighting OP. Bad nanny.

nannyneedsanap said...

Poor kid. She leaves him unsupervised and then gets mad because he got dirty. Some of the best fun is had while playing in the dirt. Usually the filthier my kids are by the end of the day, the more fun they had.

world's best nanny said...

Whatever......yawn!

MinuteMuggle said...

I think this is a great siting. Imaging getting angry because your child gets dirty!! OP, thank you and I hope the parents see this.

WBN: maybe you need a nap. you must be working too hard! :)

fox in socks said...

This is disgusting.

And the parents are going to wonder what caused it when the nursery school recommends that the kid needs to be fully evaluated, and he needs to start kindergarten a year late with difficulty socializing with his peers.

But we will all know the cause since it's plain as day from this post. A worthlss nanny who left him on his own to figure out and negotiate everything on his own, except when he was lucky enough to receive the kindness of strangers.

How disgusting that this person is actually paid money to treat the child with disdain, when interacting with him at all, and leaving him on his own to negotiate the playtime (which clearly he could not navigate on his own).

Wake up, parents.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Fox in socks
That about sums it up for me. Excellent post!

dirtyfun said...

good sighting. this nanny should be more attentive and help the kid learn to socialize, that is ppart of her job. About the dirty issue though, i do know that when i bring the kids I nanny home dirtythe parents are not to excited about it. So, we just have our fun and i change them and clean them somewhere else before we come home and the mom seems happy with our nice clean fun lol

Momkat said...

Good post--and something the parents will probably never pick up on, since they don't get the same type of candid look you got. I feel bad for that little boy; he's missing out on a lot of the developmental skills he should be getting.

mom said...

What fox said.

chrissyma said...

That's so sad :( Part of me wonders though if maybe the interaction issue is part of ignorance on the parents part, as well as the caregiver(s) and maybe Asperger's or mild Autism?

Though you did say once your child cried, the other kid seemed to try a little more.

Mostly right said...

I do not condone negligence, and I think this was a good sighting by the OP. However, I wouldn't say the child was really maltreated, and without knowing if this is an ongoing pattern or a one-time occurrence, I am hesitant to fully condemn the nanny. It could be she had to attend to something for the younger child which required her attention, and she felt the boy was safe to play without her hovering over him for 20 minutes. In general, I feel it is very important for caregivers to facilitate social interaction, but failing to do so once in a while is not going to harm the child in the long-term. Also, I agree with whoever said that it could be the parents who have a fit about the child getting dirty. If the nanny gets in trouble for the child being dirty, she is obviously going to be upset with him if he does so.
However, as I said, I think you all are mostly right, I just like to consider all possibilities before blaming the nanny for creating a future sociopath or something.

please. said...

Mostly right,

absolutely nothing condones leaving a 4 year old child to his whimsies in New York City. Nothing. It is one thing to sit and watch him play from a distance, but obviously this nanny wasn't even in sight of him for at least 20 minutes or she would have seen him playing in the dirt and stopped him earlier. What could be more demanding than the safety of her charge?

mostly right said...

please-

yes, I agree. That's why I thought this was a good sighting. But most of the comments on here are about how the nanny was not there to help him interact with the other children, and how she scolded him for getting dirty. I was only pointing out possible reasons why this might have occurred.

OP- forgot to mention- I'm so glad you tried to stand up for the little boy! So many people would have just left it alone.

Anonymous said...
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mom said...

I think the nanny ought to have been paying more attention to the child throughout this time period. It sounds like an extended period that she was absent from caring for him and directing his behavior. That is never OK for a nanny. That is her primary job. She is getting paid to do that job and there is no excuse for not doing it well at every possible moment. If there was a sibling that needed attended to and she is unable to competently supervise more than one child at a time she needs to fina a one child family to nanny for.