Is This ADHD or Just a Disrespectful Child?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 -
I am the OP of the post and I should be in bed, but I am so pissed I can't sleep. This child I am referring to just this evening had the nerve to SPIT in my face because she was angry with me-said child was wearing a Band Aid; throughout the course of the day the bandage fell off. I saw the child taking her Band Aid and putting it on other children. I explained to her that the Band Aid was to stay on her arm and if I saw her place it on her friends again, I would take it away. She was wearing a bandage for her eczema. Upon taking the Band Aid; this child hit me and kept hitting me due to her anger. I got down on her level and told her I didn't like being hit. She then spit in my face. I am so frustrated, you can't imagine how I feel. What kind of child has such blatant disrespect to spit in a teachers face? As I stated, for some reason, I am her target for this behavior. I mean she doesn't listen to anyone else but one teacher, and when it comes to outbursts, she only hits me and nobody else. I do not understand why she does this; this same child will jump into my arms and hug me, as she does almost every day.

When I said her parents were flaky and shouldn't be parents what I meant was that her parents need to take care of this problem and get her re evaluated instead of ignoring the problem. Did I mention that this child has a baby brother who happens to be Mom's pride and joy, the eldest child, who happens to be autistic is a favorite, too. There is a problem here, and instead of Mom gossiping about me to other teachers and Dad whom I work with, gossiping about how I can't control my class, they need to understand that they have a child and need to start being parents. Spitting on me is crossing the line. No other child in my class acts the way she does, and on the very very rare occasion she is not there, my class is DIFFERENT, as in they are a lot calmer.

I sent this child home with pink eye symptoms; Dad wanted to bring her to school so he could enjoy his day off-shouldn't you be spending that time with your child? I did read where someone thought she had autism. Is that hereditary? I agree she does things for attention and probably can do whatever she wants at home. When I told Mom she spit on me, did I get an apology? No. But I know she will talk about me to other teachers. And please do not attack me. Don't say I should rethink being a teacher. I happen to love teaching and I don't like disrespectful children who spit and their parents who are clueless and ignorant.

Received Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Perspective and Opinion on ISYN I have a question about ADHD. A child in my class can't sit still for group or storytime, puts their fingers, food and other objects in their mouth, eats playdough, hits teachers (me in particular if they are having a tantrum and angry) and just the other morning, this incident occurred: The child was at the sink washing their hands after breakfast when the other teacher, a float, asked the child to leave the sink. (The child wasn't washing hands because their hands were already washed) Rather, said child was playing in the sink. The teacher asked the child to step down from the sink, child doesn't listen. Child then gets angry and throws a fit-knocks cups from the counter, spoons from the table. Child is stomping around the room, knocking over chairs, pinching and hitting myself and other children. I am one of the regular teachers in this room. While this outburst of anger was exploding, I was comforting children who were attacked by this child, supervising another child eating breakfast who was sitting on a chair this child attempted to pull out from underneath him in the outburst, and supervising 15-18 children total, including the outburst.

Is this type of behavior normal for ADHD children? In my personal opinion, I believe it may be, yet I do know that doing inappropriate things as a way to get attention is a characteristic of ADHD-said child was wearing a dress to school, and was lifting up her dress showing everyone her unders. She was talked to about how inappropriate that was, and warned if that or anything else happened where the dress didn't stay down, we would put shorts on her. Ten minutes later, she told her friends to look at her as she stuck her finger up there, panties pulled aside. Natural curiosity at preschool age is fine-this child is three-yet I know this child knew not to do what she did.

Mom and Dad are flaky, and I don't understand why they are parents. Does this sound like ADHD or a disrespectful child? She was kicked out of many daycares for her behavior and was evaluated for occupational therapy/early childhood programs, yet not placed in anything because of her "model behavior" during observation.


HumMom said...

I'm not an expert on ADHD, but this is most certainly indicative of some sort of abnormal behavior and needs to be addressed. Her parents do her (and themselves) a tremendous disservice by not doing so. It's also going to be impossible to address it without their cooperation. Of course, you know that. I think you would be wise to document her behavior in as much detail as you did here. I know that may be time consuming, but it could help counteract the "model behavior" some day. I'm actually mostly concerned about her "sticking her finger up there." While some amount of show & tell is definitely normal, I'm not so sure inserting things is.

Fifi said...

This sounds like and angry child, and my gut feeling tells me that some kind of abuse is happening. Is it possible to have an official conference with the parents, citing ducumented incidents? Poor child...

existencefirst said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nanny in Boston said...

These types of behaviors point more towards abuse/anger issues than ADHD. Children with ADHD don't tend to go on angry rampages like you described (not that it doesn't happen). Usually if a child with ADHD has an outburst of anger it's because he or she cannot concentrate on something and becomes frustrated, not because they were told to move on to a different activity.
I'm inclinced to think that there is definitely some sort of abuse/neglect here. The "sticking her finger up there" comment clued me in. Kids at that age are very into show and tell as you said, but the realization that things can be inserted into that area usually comes way later (around puberty) and is definitely not a normal thing for a three year old. I'd be very concerned for this child's well-being. If the parents aren't willing to help, perhaps a school counselor could see her. Bless her, I hope she gets help :-(

ATL Nanny said...

I agree with the others who said this sounds like classic symptoms of physical and/or sexual abuse. If by sticking her finger "up there" you mean actual penetration and not just pointing, I would be VERY concerned. Although all children have a natural interest in their bodies, penetration is not something that is understood until much later. As a teacher, you are a mandatory reporter, which means you are required by law to report to social services any case of suspected abuse. If there is any possibility that this child is being abused (and from your post, it sounds like there is) I would beg you to call someone at your local social services office and make a full report. Personally, I would also encourage you to speak to your supervisor about your concerns and tell her that you plan to contact social services.

Blythe said...

Doesn't sound like ADHD to me, especially without knowing how else the child behaves (can she stay on task? does she sit still? etc). Sounds more like a very angry kid! Especially if she is able to use "model behaviour" when being tested, it doesn't sound like ADHD.

Really, though, none of us will be qualified to say anything at all about whether she has ADHD or not. Certainly something is wrong, it sounds like.

I guess the most you can do is keep up conversations with her parents, encourage them to get her tested again (and meet with a psychiatrist/psychologist regularly), be consistent with the child, and make sure that all of the children in your care are safe. Good luck!

Pick a name said...

It very honestly sounds like abuse issues... I would immediately report it to someone above you and get this child to a psychologist asap. This does not sound like ADHD... it sounds like there is something much more.

An ISYN reg said...

I think the responses here are ridiculous.

There are a million reasons why a child may display this kind of behavior: to blame the parents and automatically think it is because of sexual or physical abuse is just plain ignorant. It angers me that some posters are so stupid as to jump to this conclusion. As far as saying "I KNOW this child knew not to do what she did" if she is three you know no such thing. You have no idea what the child is thinking. Sometimes even a very intelligent pre-schooler shows inconsistant behavior and knowledge of right from wrong.

I myself have a special needs child with control/sensory/verbal issues who is on the autism spectrum and this child is loved by her mother, (me) her father and her whole entire loving family. She is in therapy and we listen to the Doctors and the Educators that are part of her team and they are very kind people who want to help us and they do not find us "flaky" and they are much too professional to name-call or place blame on the parents.

As the parent of a special needs child, I am outraged by the sweeping generalizations of this post. Children with special needs need understanding and compassion. Not blame, and their parents certainly do not need to be accused of abuse.

The OP of this post to me sounds like she is severely lacking in information. If the child was "kicked out" of daycares, they obviously did not cater to special needs children. Of course it sounds as if this child has special needs and behavioral issues. But it sounds like the OP (a teacher, so sad) is already soured on the parents and blaming it on them. We are not given information in this post regarding what was told to the parents. And FYI, if a child is evaluated by professionals, the testing is standardized and takes hours. It would be unlikely that they would not show their "true colors" if they had behavioral issues. Furthermore, an Early Intervention intake/testing process is more than just observing the child: the parents and teachers are asked countless questions regarding how the child behaves at home/school.

This child needs to be in a program that can help them. If this OP, as the child's teacher, and the Director of the program truly cares about this child, they need to tell the parents that they are not equipt to deal with the child and refer her to a special needs program, and refer her to get additional testing by Doctors and professionals who can help her.

I feel for this child and for the parents.

world's best nanny said...

The same child who had the potty problems with me and the same one who hung his sister's Barbies naked and by their throats, without a doubt had ADHD, he also had ODD. He was thrown out of several daycares. Including the free one at his mothers place of employment. He would attack other children, and me. He showed no signs of empathy. Once his sister fell down and broke her tooth. She was crying and bleeding and he didn't even bat an eyelash. Scary to see how cold his eyes were. You, being a teacher can call a formal meeting, and sit down with the family to discuss what is going on. Me? I tried to bring it up, they told me they were aware of the problem and will not medicate him til it counts. Which meant not til he goes to school. He is 14 now and I wonder how he is, you know, mentally.

Nanny Sarah said...

This is one of the hardest situations being a nanny/ teacher, etc. We find this type of behavior and we try everything in our power to help the poor child- especially when parents are "elsewhere"- your heart says you eant to help the child, but it is very hard to.

You also have to be very careful at not pointing fingers or it may come back to hurt you later.

Have you talked to the parents? If they are involoved- great- maybe you can sit and figure out a game plan (what to do in a outburst, time-outs or other opions that you may work on at school AND at home) the same outbust- same conaquence. If parents are not involoved- that the hardest part and you should report it, talk to someone or get the child some help. You can't do it on your own. What does your gut tell you- document everything you can (classroom outbusts, any unusally behavior and suspended abuse- report and speak up- you are the child's god-sent- if the parents are not.

honest nanny said...

the only way to know is to have the appropriate tests given. we here on ISYN are not certified to judge this child's character as it could be anything causing the behavior. if you are in a school or daycare setting you should have access to the appropriate tools to assess this child.

Clo said...

Wow. By the comment about sticking her finger up there, I thought OP meant up the dress to move the undies over.

Why didn't I realize she might mean... in there?

If the little girl is putting something IN herself, it is a large sign of sexual abuse. That could also explain the anger. A 3 year old would have no idea what to do with the feelings that come from being victimized in that way.

Tangledup said...

Can you refer this child through Child Find for her school district? http://www.childfindidea.org/
This may be a way for this child to get Early Intervention or other appropriate services.

Not ADHD said...

a child expressing sexuality is not strange and does not always constitute as abuse. As a child who was never abused in my life I exhibited sexual behavior as young as two.

I personally dont beleive in ADHD but I do believe in children who don't get enough attention. She just sounds like she wants attention.

BostonsGirl said...

Regardless of whether its ADHD, abuse, or any number of other explanations her behavior is simply not okay in the real world. She clearly needs help and/or discipline. I know as a teacher you are in a tough place but I would immediately speak to someone about getting her re evaluated somehow for your sanity, the benefit of the rest of the class, and this little girls well being.

HumMom said...

ISYN Regular,

With all due respect, I think you are personalizing OP's post way too much. You come across as very angry, to the point of attacking the OP, who truly does present her question in a non-judgemental way. I did not find her description of the parents as offensive. Maybe she should have used the phrase, "uninterested" instead of "flaky." Whatever.

Of course this child needs special attention. OP's post was a way to help her gauge the best way she can help provide it.

Penetration is NOT normal behavior for a three year old. Period. That particular behavior definitely needs to be addressed ASAP - if for no other reason than to help prevent injury. The disruptive behavior is something else. Disruption of the entire classroom cannot continue. It is NOT OK for one child to attack others. It is not out of line for this teacher to seek help with that problem.

Of course the situation needs to be addressed with compassion and understanding. I do not see where OP was coming from a view-point that was contrary to that.

aMom said...


The OP clearly stated that she "didn't understand why they are parents." To me, this comes across as completely disrespectful. And why wouldn't a parent of a special needs child personalize a rant that specifically targets parents of a special needs child?

nuff said.

Current Nanny/Future Teacher said...

I believe very much in ADHD (I have it, and have since I was young). This doesn't sound like ADHD. I also wouldn't say that it is "just a disrespectful child" either.

My first thought was also abuse... I took a class on child abuse, and though this doesn't sound like a clear cut case (I think we'd all really have to know a bit more), I think it is really really important to look into it. First rule of suspected abuse is document document document. Have all the regular teachers document. Like seriously, put EVERY concerning incident into a file. Ask open ended questions of the child in a safe place (aka NOT any question that is searching for an answer.)
Children that are physically abused often act out, those who are neglected typically withdraw.
When there are only behavioral symptoms are observed the teacher should file notes and make observations, when only physical symptoms are observed they should conference with parents and child immediately, when both are observed (questionable here) a teacher has a legal obligation to report the suspected abuse to the local child protective agencies.

Conference with her parents. Gage their reactions. Obviously, don't jump the gun on this... it is a very sensitive situation (and remember, if it is abuse, it might not be the parents). But make the best judgment calls you can. Remember, you are a mandatory reporter. MANDATORY.

It is normal for a 3 year old to be curious about their body, and to explore. It is not normal for a 3 year old to stick anything "up" there, for an audience or otherwise.
Again, I am not saying this is obvious abuse. It really may not be at all... but it is something you need to keep a close eye on, because this doesn't sound like ADHD....and it's more than a disrespectful child.

NVMom said...

OP, it doesn't sound like ADHD at all. It does however, sound like Sensory Integration and possibly autism. My dd has both so I know what it looks like. At that age she could play with water (and other sensory items) for hours and could not focus on typical classroom activity.
Sounds like this child might be undiagnosed and her parents unaware of the symptoms. I'd refer them to Child Find as well. It can take some time though to go through the evaluation process, so they will have to address what they will do in the meantime. It's still possible there are other issues not known, but this can come out in an evaluation since it they thoroughly do neurological, psychological, etc. Just hope this child's parents are willing to take the step. You know them best, so take your best approach and hopefully they will hear what you're saying.

tales from the (nanny)hood said...

I doubt it's ADHD (especially in a 3 yo), or a child who is disrespectful. It could be many many other things, such as abuse, uninvolved parents who don't discipline, the girl's basic nature, etc.

I am surprised that a plan isn't in place already to manage this child since she has been asked to leave other schools.

If I were in your shoes, I would do the following:

Immediately report the incident where she was touching her private area. You are a mandated reporter, and even if there's nothing to the event, you have to tell your supervisors.

Begin logging her behaviors, and talk to your supervisor about your concerns. Ask him/her to consider scheduling a conference with the parents to discuss how their daughter can succeed in this school. I would think that if she has been asked to leave "many" schools, the parents would be invested in making sure she can stay in yours.

Consider suggesting that an early intervention program evaluation be done with the EI person doing some observation in class. If this is a sensory overload issue, one on one time may not allow discovery of the issues.

I do think that expectations can be obvious to kids who are "naughty". Maybe focusing on helping her succeed and find better ways of behaving moght help everyone.

Village said...

I agree this is mandatory to report. The parents may be unaware of what is happening to their child. Parents can be amazing blind to abuse of their children. It's just not in their range of possibilities.

Lindsey said...

Yes touching and looking at private parts is a natural curiosity, it is not normal to for a child that young to "know" to know that something can be inserted into her vagina. Touching or rubbing down there is them just wondering what it is, little girls just don't know that something can go in there and usually only know because they saw someone else do it.

Now I am not saying the parents are doing anything, but that is definitely not normal and someone in her lifetime has either showed her or done it to her, for her to be doing it and doing it so casually.

Anonymous said...

See if my kid was brought up well, taught to be kind considerate patient and acted up I'd be mad. If my child hit another child or intimidated your child with poor behaviour I'd say smack the little shit behind his head! Lol. I can't stand when other kids are mean to other children.

DenverNanny said...

I highly doubt ADHD, since as OP said, th girl shows "model behavior" during evaluations...ADHD can't just be turned off like that. I definitely agree with the other posters: most of this behavior seems much more like an emotional disorder of some form. HOWEVER, I also agree that a 3 year old should NOT be aware of penetration! Based on the limited info we have this definitely sounds like probable sexual abuse... Especially her showing the other children. I hate to assume the parents are responsible, but aren't the parent(s) usually present for evaluation? Perhaps that could explain the difference in behavior...

WTF? said...

Actually, it's completely normal for children this age to explore their genitals, including penetration. Almsot all of you are being ridiculous about that particular aspect. You sound like a bunch of hysterics.

Obviously something is going on with this little girl. OP, I dohn't think your school is the best place for her.

MinuteMuggle said...

janet english,

are you for real?


I completely agree with you. Strange as it may seem. :)

fox in socks said...

WTF I agree with you too.

The child needs to be praised often and consistently. Prase andpositive reinforcement will work wonders and magic on her. Do your best to find her doing something good, something right, something that might deserve a tiny crumb of praise, and really praise her. That will lead to more and more right actions on her part. Be sure to keep praising her and keep up the positive reinforcement.

This is a recipe for success and improvement with any type of kid, with disabilities or not.

HumMom said...

Fox in Sox,
ALL children need to be positively reinforced. To suggest that this is the solution for a child who is acting out to this extent is absolutely naive. This child needs so much more than that.

I resent the accusation that I'm "hysterical." If my daughter's teacher let me know that my 3 year old daughter was pulling aside her panties and sticking her finger into her vagina in front of her classmates, I'd be all over it. I most definitely would not chalk it up to "normal behavior." That's NOT normal, particularly when the child had been admonished to not show her underpants, just 10 minutes earlier.

Lola said...

Um, I worked at a home for severly abused children, many sexually abused in ways that seem unimaginable. I can tell you that her behaviors are in line with the behavior of a lot of the children at the rehab. home. PLEASE report this. Children may explore themselves, but to show it off intentionally and readily is CERTAINTLY a symptom of abuse.

ISYN reader and not ADHD: you are way off base. It seems that you have no idea what can happen to children. Having read dozens of cases, and knowing personally, children that have suffered HORRIFIC abuse, I cannot imagine what would have become of them if someone did not speak up and report what they suspected was happening to these beautiful kids.

Please understand that she shows signs of sexual abuse and if nothing is amiss, then no harm no foul. But if there is something wrong than the sooner the child can be helped the better, at a certain point there is little chance of recovery.

WTF? said...

Anyone with a speck of knowledge about child development knows that children stick things in pretty much every hole in their body. If you want to make something huge out of it with your own kid and warp her for life. That's your business.

I think it's pretty obvious that something is going on with the child in this posting, but the hysterical (yeah, I said it again) focus on the fact that she stuck her finger in her vagina is really odd. I felt someone needed to point it out.

cali mom said...

HumMom, you said it. To discuss the situation and document all the disruptive and ABNORMAL behavior is NOT hysterical, it's part of a teacher and/or caregiver's responsibility in protecting a child. If there's no sexual abuse going on, wonderful, but too often it seems horrifying abuse goes on and on because "everything seemed normal" when a social worker popped in for a 5 minute visit and no one wanted to speak up and bother the family.

And OP did specifically say that the other children got a lot more parental love and attention than this girl, so I think some amount of judgement and frustration on her part is justified. everthing here does NOT sound perfectly OK, and she is concerned.

HumMom said...

Nobody here is hysterical. What you're seeing is that the majority of us are concerned about this behavior, because we DO have a speck of child development knowledge and know that, while touching and even show and tell are normal, a three year old who sticks things into her vagina, at a minimum needs to be gently spoken to.

So, yeah, if it were my daughter, I most definitely would pay attention and not just let it pass. And you can bet your ass that I'd handle it in a way that wouldn't "warp her for life." I love how it's black and white for you: either chalk it up to normal behavior and she'll grow up healthy or deal with it and warp her for life.

WTF, indeed.

Maybe our answers would be different if all the other behaviors were absent, who knows. But, based on the whole scenario that the OP has presented, chances are that there is much, much more going on with this child and our cause for concern is not misplaced.

frustrated said...

But WTF? why does the child know there is a hole there? and show it off like that? that SCREAMS abnormal. Many people coming from places of knowledge have noted this fact. Where are you coming from?

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

Until this child is seen by a professional no answer will be certain and even then you may not find the answer as to why this child is behaving this way.
She is 3 and as noted may just simply need more attention.

As for 3 yr olds and sexuality. It is very normal for a 3 yr old to talk about her Vagina,touch her Vagina,pull her lips apart every time she is naked and yes,stick her fingers in there.Doing this in front of others is simply away of getting attention. It is also very,very common for them to talk about and ask questions about both sets of genitals until they get it all sorted out.
Our almost 2&3 yr old daughters will tell you mommmy has a vagina and daddy has a peanut.,,and our brother has a peanut too.And if they happen to be naked when the tell you,you better believe they will show it to you! This is all normal.
An automatic conclusion of sexual abuse is pre-mature and should be approached very carefully.
best of luck OP. I hope for this little ones sake that it is all figured out soon and she gets whatever it is she is needing..
I do agree though that she may need a different environment if she is not fairing well in your school and causing disruption for the other children.It's not fair to them or to her to allow it to continue.

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

frustrated..there are some good articles at parent.com.

Many of them point out that this is completely normal behavior and of course,sudden interest in genitals can most certainly be a sign of sexual abuse,however,not always.

Along with the other disruptions, there is no reason not to explore both posibilities. But the latter should be approached with extreme cation and knowlegde. It really can mess with a kid if not.
Anyhow,I always find the articles interesting..hope you do too!

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

I hope this works..if not google dr spock and toddlers and genital touching

frustrated said...

Big Butt,
Why must everything you say come off as so condescending?

WTF? said...

Why don't you reserach it yourself if you're not willing to take anyone else's word for it. Ignorance is not bliss in this case.

NVMom said...

OP, I read your update. I certainly do not think anything negative of you. It's great that you came to this forum for help.

To answer your question about autism, yes, the chances are higher than normal that it can reoccur among siblings.

I still believe you are dealing with a child with a disability. Unfortunately, such children are highly subject to being abused and neglected. More so than the general population and that's probably why this child's behavior is so challenging. Imagine dealing with sensory integration disorder and/or autism and being neglected on top of it. It must be horrible for her. It may not seem like it, but she does not want to be this way. I've seen such kids and they pay a high price for the lack of early intervention.

I'm also shocked that there is a sibling with autism and her family seems to be in denial or refusing to do anything. I doubt seriously that she had a proper evaluation because a child can't fool a professional neurologist and psychologist, not at that age. This is probably a lie by the parents because you are not the first person who has probably raised this issue with them.

Given what others have said about the sexual behavior, and the suspected neglect, perhaps you should report your concerns to child services. It's no easy road for the family but it might be the wakeup call they need to get this girl some help. Good luck and keep us posted.

no name said...

WTF said: "Anyone with a speck of knowledge about child development knows that children stick things in pretty much every hole in their body."

I find that absolutely disturbing. Especially since the child in question is only 3 years old. Maybe a child of 8 or 9 might explore themselves more, but not 3. I am a victim of sexual abuse. I remember thinking every exhibition I performed was normal. At 5 years of age I would climb on any males lap just to feel their genitals. I would also lift up my skirt and let other young boys touch me. This is a LEARNED behavior, it is NOT normal! I didn't know any better because I was being abused!

MinuteMuggle said...

you wrote:

"Please understand that she shows signs of sexual abuse and if nothing is amiss, then no harm no foul."

If you think that, then you have problems. Unfounded accusations of sexual abuse can ruin a family's lives.

BLB and WTF are correct in my opinion.

I believe the child in this post needs serious help, that's for certain. But I also believe she has sensory issues and it is possible she is on the autism spectrum. I hope the parents will see this and get her the help she needs.

Stay strong said...

As others have said, you have to document EVERYTHING. Document all of her behaviors, your responses, and any special accommodations you try to make for her in the classroom (e.g. using a behavior mod. plan). She needs to be referred for psychological testing (again) and it sounds like you need to report this to children's services.
I understand that we should not victimize parents of special needs children, but at the same time, if you even SUSPECT that she is being abused, you are MANDATED to report. Many reports of possible abuse are never substantiated. ie. many of the parents are probably innocent. But that's a price we pay for keeping children safe. Better to be safe than sorry.

Stay strong said...

Also, I just have to point out- To those who say the OP's school is not the best place for the child, you may be right. But this child has already been kicked out of several other daycares/preschools, so I doubt moving her to any other school is going to help. If she really cannot succeed in the OP's class, she may need to be in a special school. Special schools are not really going to take her without an evaluation and/or diagnosis, because spaces are usually limited.

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

frustrated..I am not sure how "wishing the child gets the attention she needs and answers that will help her out" or How"trying to answer your request for research with a couple of really good articles is in any way condesending? except that perhaps you are getting caught up in the whole BLB vrs. CM drama and that is clouding your judgement?

I have said nothing cotraversial or condesending here what so ever.I simply gave an opinion backed up by a well know DR's article.Take it or lv it..it was only meant to help.
Good Lord!
BTW..you adressing me as big butt is more rude and condesending than anything I have said or done here.Right?

Lola said...

Minute Muggle,

There is nothing "unfounded" about this child's behavior. Quite the opposite. I am not talking about a witch hunt. I am talking about reporting such behavior to the right people and making sure they form an opinion about the matter. Not some random people on the internet saying, oh I'm sure nothing's wrong. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Previously Frustrated said...

Butt Look Big,

Sorry, I was genuinely frustrated with what a lot of people were saying, and after going back and reading the comment that I was originally referring to (I started the comment before you posted the Dr. Spock comment,) it didn't sound as condescending. It was the "I always find the articles interesting..hope you do too!" that came off as condescending to me, and there was something that that I read in another post that came off as condescending as well.

My comment was quick and fairly thoughtless, but I did throw in "come off," just in case you weren't meaning to...excuses excuses, I am full of them.

As for the big butt thing, I didn't really think about it. I am a lurker on this site a lot, and I have noticed that you are a frequent commenter but I seem to have failed to notice that you go by BLB. I didn't mean anything by it, just a way of shortening your name. Sorry, for reals.

Previously Frustrated said...

Aw man, I just wrote out a nice long apology to BLB... and now I am not seeing it. This is unfortunate, but I really don't feel like writing it again. :(

So, let's just say I am sorry. I do feel that occasionally you "come off" as condescending, however the actual comment I was referring to it was just the "I always find the articles interesting..hope you do too!" statement.

Sorry about the Big Butt thing, I wasn't really thinking.

BLB said...

previously frustrated..thank you. And I don't mean to sound condesending. I am simply a no nonesense,get to the fact of the matter of the fact kind of gal who obviously has VERY different veiws than most.ThereforeI take a lot of heat for trolling and sounding condesending. I just see the world through different glasses than most.
Thank you though ..I appreciate your candor and apology.
and yes, I hate Big Butt. Evereytime its used I think of HS girls who call names because thay are not smart enough to actually come up with something clever to say .

MinuteMuggle said...


I know exactly what I am talking about. And you're rude. I am entitled to my opinion.

cali mom said...

Minute Muggle, your opinions are always stated thoughtfully and I enjoy your posts but with all due respect here, I think Lola's point is that some opinions are informed, and some less so.

same shit different day said...

calimom you R right and maybe,with all due respect,you could learn something from MM

justsaying said...

Are,you,seriously,still,out,to,get,calimom? LET IT GO!

Same shit different day said...

justsaying,I don't know you or of you. My suggestion was not rude. It was a polite suggestion.
Often her posts are crass. She might be better recepted by some if she were to take note of MM's delivery.My reply was in fact an extention of hers. That was my "with all due respect" suggestion.

Its called constructive critisisim.
I think you are just trying to stir it up. Is that you MO?
Pls don't bother. I am not interested.