Saturday

CL - WTF?

CL-WTF on ISYN Saturday, May 2, 2009.
.... What?!

1) Self Defense for Infants! (New Jersey)
Your Baby Will Never Be Defenseless Again! It is estimated that 93% of all infant abductions could have been prevented if only the infant in question had been able to defend itself against the abductor. It is time for parents to be more proactive about the safety of their child and educate their young early in the art of self-defense. This is where we come in. Our panel of instructors will use their combined 11 and 3/4 months of combat expertise and training to start your baby on the road to being a well-disciplined martial arts master. At just two weeks of age your child could start learning the fundamentals of our proven program with techniques ranging from basic open palm stun slaps to the Luna Chi (Harmony of the Moon) drunken boxing/Brazilian dance fighting style. Our program starts shortly after the child is acclimated to breast feeding and takes the infant through a rigorous training schedule that culminates in our advanced speed shooting course right here at our facilities’ miniaturized firing range. We believe a combination of real world melee techniques and handgun exercises are the perfect complimentary training techniques to keeping your baby safe and able to operate even complex clip-loaded and revolver style weapons should the parent become incapacitated during an exchange of fire. Courses are available nights and weekends and makeup sessions are scheduled to fit your busy lifestyle. Classes start June 1st and enrollment fills quickly. Please email us with any questions and we will provide quick links to our downloadable schedule in PDF format as well as our handy online insurance waiver.
Original URL: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/1144252755.html
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Special thanks to: northjerseynanny and cdhere25, for both sending in our Feature Ad! And I would like to give Honorable mention to melwaldman for the 2nd Ad... very funny! Also, afnt81 and MissDee... all of you did a great job this week! Remember: CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday... please send next weeks Ads HERE.

TO READ THE REST OF THIS WEEKS SUBMISSIONS: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

19 comments:

Christina said...

#1 is truly the most WTF thing I have ever read.

Christina said...

Also I think #5 is kind of sweet, he probably regrets the decision not to start a family and this is his way of making up for it.

just another mommy said...

#1 is I'm pretty sure just a joke...and it's actually pretty funny - especially the "combined 11 and 3/4 months experience". :)

Nanny Taxi said...

I can't get past #1. It makes all the other ads seem sane!

Kim said...

#18 has posted all over the Chicago section for a few weeks. The ads are always slightly different. At one point they wanted live in at $300/wk or live out for $200/wk and people told them how crazy they were. Obviously they're not having any luck.

Blythe said...

I'm sure #1 is fake, but it is certainly ridiculous.

All the advertisements asking for childcare for 50 hour work weeks for $200-$300 make me cringe. Yikes.

Blythe said...

Also, I would like to add that I AM a college student, and I find it puzzling how many people say "ideal for a college student" when what they mean is "our schedule is unpredictable and we won't pay you much." How is that ideal for anyone? College students still need money, and we also make plans that we can't just drop...

Lola said...

You have GOT to be kidding me. If that first ad is not a joke.......I have seen everything! WOW

MinuteMuggle said...

I would totally sign my baby up for self-defense classes. There are some very mean, fierce babies out there and I wouldn't mind my kid being prepared to fight.

Lola said...

I can't believe someone would ask for a sitter TONIGHT and put a picture of their poor, precious daughter. Talk about an invite for perverts. Even a nice seeming young woman could be in cahoots with an evil minded boyfriend. You never know how twisted people are. She is SO adorable. I feel bad for her, for having such idiotic irresponsible parents. Really, what could be so important you would leave a defenseless beautiful child with a complete stranger.

mom said...

The first one is very OBVIOUSLY a joke. Funny, but a joke.

The eleven year old who took the babysitter class...I was babysitting at eleven, and without any classes, so I'm not too worried about the potential kids she might watch...but what parent lets their eleven year old advertise on Craigslist and go to the homes of strangers to babysit!

J'sLaptpUsingNannyMissDee said...

Lola- I remember when I had an ad posted for babysitting and some woman contacted me earlier that morning to watch her 8 year old daughter. She insisted that I babysit at her house; no big deal. We talked for a few minutes and she asked me if I had transportation, which I told her I did. She then INSISTED that she, her boyfriend and daughter come and pick me up and take me to their house, which was only 20 minutes east of me. I explained to her that picking me up was unnecessary, as she lived east of me and would have to drive west to get me, which was out of her way, then take me back east, and drive me home. After I pointed that out, she still insisted in picking me up. She arrived to pick me up, and some little voice told me not to get into that car. I don't know what it was, just something that told me not to go. She was driving around my neighborhood, calling my phone like crazy, and I didn't bother to answer or even call her. I have never had anything like that happen to me before when it comes to babysitting. Sitters need to watch out for their safety just like parents. That's why I insist on meeting the family at Starbucks prior to sitting for them, and why I require a 1-2 week notice before accepting any sitting job.

SitterSarah said...

Anyone notice how crazy that one woman is for asking for a 7+ year old? I understand wanting playmates for your child, but seriously? Paying a 7 year old to watch the kid, even if there is an adult, is just insane!

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WHAT? said...

1. Hilarious! Definitely a joke

2 and 13: I don't see anything wrong with these.

3. Isn't this illegal in some states? I thought you had to be a certain age to be home alone

5. Kinda weird but possibly legit?

7. Hey, at least she is honest.

15. Need to have own transportation but want someone under 16? Some people!

daisy said...

Some of these I don't think are so bad- e.g. the wet nurse. Not for everybody, but I'm sure a lot of people would be interested in that. It just doesn't seem so strange to me. And the single dad one doesn't seem bad either. If I were the nanny I would proceed with caution, but I'm sure not all single dads seeking childcare are perverts secretly looking for a live-in girlfriend.

Marypoppin'pills said...

RE-read #2 VERY carefully! lol

austin Nanny said...

Blythe--I agree. I have noticed ads that target college students offer ridiculous hours and wages. I once answered an ad, and the woman wanted me to be "on call" (unpaid of course) 3 days a week. I have classes and study groups that I can't just blow off on a moment's notice, and I have rent to pay like anybody else.

Kristina said...

Self defense for infants??? I am almost tempted to look into it further for laughs.
I love Craigslis WTF! Look forward to it every week!