Tuesday

Children's Section of the Dudley Library in Roxbury, MA

Received Tuesday, May 19, 2009
nanny sighting logo I saw the worst nanny today. She was bitching at the children because she was tired of the library and today was supposed to be a park day. (?) That is how she first caught my attention. She was eating pumpkin seeds and throwing them at the little girl in her care. Throwing them at the back of her head. Every time the little girl turned around, the nanny would say, "turn around" in a MEAN way. The child was clearly afraid of the nanny. I think this was a new nanny, too. The nanny in question was Black with no accent, wearing long blue jean shorts-to the knee, brown sandals, long, decorated toenails and a flouncy white summer top. Her hair was combed/pushed back so it went behind her ears and it reached the bottom of her neck in the back. There was a heavy set Jamaican nanny wearing light blue pants, grey tennis shoes and a mint colored top that accosted the younger nanny. The Jamaican nanny was probably in her fifties and she was wearing a gold cross. The Jamaican nanny said something to her like "why you throwing those seeds at her like that, that's not kind" and the other nanny said it was a game. She called the girl over to her side and made her tell the older nanny that it was a game. The older nanny told the younger nanny that she shouldn't even have food in the library and that she was setting a bad example for all of the children. She also told her that isn't how she should treat a child and she said something about being a nanny for twenty years and never would she treat a child like that. The older nanny went on and said what a sweet child she was and how she wasn't bothering anyone but sitting and looking through the books like a polite child. I mean the older nanny really let her have it, but not in a cross way. She spoke to her in a soothing way and told her she should appreciate the good children she was taking care of. The older nanny gave her a pat on the shoulder as she left. Then this younger nanny told the girl that she had ten minutes to pick out a book and called the brother over who was, possible, but not definitely a twin. And told him he had ten minutes. The older nanny by now had left with her charge (a biracial Asian/White child with a very blunt, dark bob, wearing a white shirt with little red hearts on it, about age 3). When the two children were with the nanny, now in another area of the library, she asks in a saccharin sweet voice, "okay what books did you get". They both excitedly showed her the books they got. She told the boy, his books were great and told the girl that she could only have one because OF HER BEHAVIOR at the library. What???? I was breastfeeding by this time, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible, watching my own 30 month old roam in the area. Something is wrong with this woman. She seemed to like the boy just fine but has a mean streak when it comes to the girl. I wish I had said something, believe me, I do. If the description of this nanny isn't clear enough to recognize this boy and girl as your own, perhaps you will run in to the other nanny who tried to steer the horrible nanny in the right direction. This nanny is every family's nightmare, an absolute phony! I could tell by the way she behaved that she has the parents fooled.

32 comments:

Momkat said...

That is awful! I applaud the nanny who was trying to help. I hope the parents see this post.

AML said...

I feel so sorry for that little girl. I'm sure if the family keeps this awful nanny on, the little girl will develop a complex especially if her brother is being treated with more kindness and respect.

It is refreshing though to see a post about a good Jamaican nanny with all the bashing on this site. It goes to prove that anybody with good in them knows how to treat a child.

ihateidiotparents said...

a) i'm glad to see you did something to help the little girl. oh wait! you didn't.

b) your "30 month old"? what's wrong with saying your two year old or your toddler? 30 month old..ha.

fox in socks said...

Why on earth did you not tell the librarian??? If they are taking out books they are using a library card. You could ask that the librarian contact the family to tell them of this highly inappropriate abusive behavior, or if the librarian for some strange reason refuses (doubtful) then ask the librarian to leave a message for the parents to get in touch with you, leaving your contact information.

If you don't do it, as a witness to abuse, who will?

No one, that's who. It's time we all stepped up and started protecting the children we see who are suffering.

In this day and age, with communication what it is, at the very least, the effort can be made to get in touch with the parents in order to help those children!

Thank you.

good sighting said...

Why are people criticizing the OP? Probably she was a little busy with her infant AND toddler. It's always easy for us to see the right thing to do, because we can evaluate the situation with the benefit of space and time. In the moment, it's a lot harder to decide what to do.

AML said...

The OP was breastfeeding. Would you want to be walking around the library trying to report a bad nanny with a baby hanging off your teet?

The older nanny had already scolded this woman. The OP probably felt it was enough at the time while trying to manage her own.

momkat said...

TO: ihateidiotparents

Why are you judging the original poster. If she wants to refer to her child as a 30-month-old, that's her choice. And quite honestly, if someone wasn't being physically beaten, I don't think the librarians would have intervened. It was a crappy nanny situation...but not something that a librarian or the police department would get involved in. The OP did the right thing posting it here and hoping the parents find out. And the other nanny did the best she could do by giving the offending nanny her input.

still laughing... said...

I thought the 30 month old reference was funny too, ihateidiotparents. LOL.

oh well said...

OP, you did the right thing. If you had confronted the nanny she would probably have taken it out on the little girl. I guess you could have told the librarian, but that's only easy to say with a baby and a toddler in tow. I hope the parents see this.

fox in socks said...

I do not mean for my comments that it should have been reported on the spot to make the OP feel bad. I do strongly believe that it would not take much effort to talk to the librarian. If something inappropriate were going on in the library (in general) one would notify the librarian. They are there to maintain the library for all the patrons. It is perfectly within the discretion of the librarian to decide to call the family if necessary. I am not familiar with this particular town and library, but I know that in my own town and library, the librarians would be more than happy to intervene appropriately when necessary.

For all the effort it takes to come on this site and post about it "hoping the parents happen to come on and see," (which as we know only happens in a handful of cases) it would take far less effort to quickly speak to a librarian on the spot. (It would probably take all of 1 minute.)

I'm glad the OP posted on this site. I also think, in this and in many other cases, there are simple ways that the parents can be made aware of the situation.

Jane Doe said...

Why is OP being attacked?

MinuteMuggle said...

Good siting, OP. I hope the parents see this.

I disagree that OP should have told the librarian. She was breastfeeding, and furthermore, it was not her place to tell the librarian and report it. If a child were being hit that would be one thing. But going to the authorities and saying, "That nanny is a horrible nanny, impatient, mean and is throwing seeds at that girl" would have only gotten her strange looks. We, as parents and childcare providers, understand the enormity of a horrible nanny like this one and that is why OP posted this, in hopes that the parents see it. But OP did nothing wrong, and couldn't have done anything more than she did, in my opinion. I do understand where Fox is coming from, and perhaps if someone were not busy with their own children, they could have said, "that lady is getting seeds on the floor" or something to call attention to it. I don't know, but I don't think OP did anything amiss.

Leave OP alone said...

I used to take my charge to the library once a week.
The librarians didn't know his parents, and would have had no way to get in contact with them if they needed to report something about him. I got him his own card and they put it under mine.

Also, had the librarian approached them and asked for the card or for the parents names or information, the nanny could have easily kept it from her/him.

There is no guarantee that the librarian would have even known who to contact.

Yaya said...

I'm glad the other nanny said something. That takes a lot of guts.

'ihateidiotparents' LOL at 'what's wrong with saying your 2 year old'-it's like that chart in the book "I Hate Other People's Kids" Lol!

sd said...

I think this is a great sighting.

Now I know this is off topic but why do so many women purposely wear their toe nails long? I think it looks so bad, and so unclean. They are not fingernails! It's just creepy to me.

world's best nanny said...

Why would a minimum wage, part time, soon to be in the unemployment line, because the library is closing, librarian get involved? I don't think she is required by law anyhow.

What the nanny did was not nice, but I don't think it constitutes abuse.

hahaha said...

My 83 month old is about to have a birthday. I am sooo excited. She will finally reach that 84 month milestone!!!

MinuteMuggle said...

WBN,

Good point, and good post.

I know I will get flamed for this said...

This is a very urban, inner city neighborhood, with a very high poverty rate, so it is doubtful that the librarian knows precisely who this family is. Honestly, it is not a neighborhood where most families can afford a nanny, so I am wondering if perhaps the family lives elsewhere and the nanny brings the child to her own neighborhood....

Manhattan Nanny said...

OP, good post. The other nanny already spoke to the mean one, I don't think there was anything more you could do.

When your card is scanned at checkout, your information, including address and phone number, comes up on the computer. I hope a librarian would have sense enough not to give anyone's information out, especially a child's!

World's best nanny,
I don't know about your neck of the woods, but in mine the librarians have degrees in library science and full time jobs at decent salaries.

Leave OP alone said...

Don't know about WBN, but the librarians here are "volunteers" (AKA, doing community service due to some crime or another, or highschool students getting credit.)

The ones being paid are getting barely minimum wage.

disgusted said...

I mean no offense to OP about this post, but this is not a nanny type library. I have heard time and again from my nanny about her friends who take the children to parks in their neighborhoods (not the nicest parks), their libraries and even shopping at their favorite stores and venues-sometimes market type places in Yonkers and the Bronx and they don't tell the parents. Not all of these nannies drive, but those who do take the parents child and car to sketchy area. Those who don't drive take these poor children and strollers on public transportation.

PARENTS, at the core, you have to know where your children are.

Make it very clear with your nanny!

Your children should be in your neighborhood!

I wonder how many nannies are infecting our children with Swine by sneaking back to Queens with them to hang out during the day.

world's best nanny said...

I have got to be honest with you, I have been in Roxbury many times, I work in Newton. I would not take my charges there if you paid me. It is a high drug and crime area with many gangs. Shootings do happen there and in broad daylight.
Read this, it just happened back on the 7th.

BOSTON -- A 15-year-old boy died late Thursday night after being shot in the head near a school bus stop in Roxbury, Boston Police confirmed.

The boy was shot twice in the head at point blank range in front of Nunez Market on Dudley Street, across the street from the bus stop just before 7:30 a.m.

He was taken to Boston Medical Center where he later died.

Police said the victim is a local student, but he has not been identified.

Boston Police are looking for a suspect described as a black male suspect, approximately 19-years-old, about 5 feet 9 inches to 6 feet 1 inch, wearing dark clothing and sunglasses.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Boston Police Homicide Unit at 617-343-4470.

See?

Nanny Taxi said...

Yikes! I am down here south of Roxbury, but even everyone around here knows what kind of area that is. I would be so angry if I found out my kids were being taken there. Now, I know there are good and bad everywhere and I am sure there are some fine, upstanding families in that area, but they would be the exception, not the rule. Isn't that awful about that boy? I saw on the news tonight his family was flipping out in the court room.

cali mom said...

Oh yeah, Roxbury sounds like just the kind of place where the 60 year old PhD scholar runs the library, knows everyone by name and would gladly contact the child's family to let them know that their nanny is violating library rules, being mean to the sister and nice to the brother, and rude to other nannies.

OP, good posting. This is exactly what this site is for, and it sounds like the Jamaican nanny did all she could to confront this vile babysitter. I doubt another person confronting her would have done anything more than stir up enough ruckus that security would have kicked everyone out and the nanny would have been even angrier and meaner than she already was.

world's best nanny said...

Oh my, I realized after I posted last night that the boy was killed on Dudley St and the Dudley Library is on Harrison which is like 4 blocks away. Scary.

fox in socks said...

Wow, there is so much more to this post. I'm glad that so many people have written more about the library. It's surprising to hear that the library is staffed with "volunteers" who may be fulfilling a community service for possibly breaking the law. Librarians have graduate degrees and although they are not well paid they do have a steady paycheck and decent benefits.

Jerseyxjacqui said...

Aaaah! I hate when people use MONTHS to refer to their kids ages after the age of 2! Just a pet peeve of mine :-)
Otherwise, great sighting, OP! And I agree with AML. It's definitely nice to hear about a Jamaican nanny that is good and kind. I knew they were out there.

Lola said...

Where are the new postings? Give us something, a news story, an opinion story or something.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
anonymous comments get deleted said...

Lots of interesting topics within this post. As a librarian in California, (and also a mom with an au pair of our own) I feel fortunate that our library cardholders who are minors are required to have a parent or legal guardian sign for their cards. We also are unable to disclose personal information from library records unless subpoenaed, but I certainly would have been willing to notify the parents with OP's information, if provided, if I felt the situation warranted it.
I also like when good nannies are complimented!

May 24, 2009 1:31:00 PM

monikerless said...

As a nanny in California I take my month old charge to the library once a week and all of his books are scanned out on my card.We know all of the staff and they us,however,they would not know how to contact his parents unless they asked me.
Also,when a nanny has her own charges with her she needs to ensure their safety FIRST. Call the cops if need be but never approach an already angry or hostile nanny/caregiver.It almost always makes it worse for the child in question and may very well put your own charges in harms way.
I always refer to my children's ages in months as there is a broad range of interpretation between a 1 yr old and a 23month old.