Tuesday

Clark St. 2/3 Station in Brooklyn, NY

Received Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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Clark St. 2/3 Station- 5:25PM on Monday, April 20, 2009.

A nanny literally dragging an approx. 11-13yo girl. Girls name possibly Liza or Leah. She was wearing a hat and had long hair. Nanny was medium build.
The situation: The girl was screaming she didn’t want to go home. The nanny was attempting to drag her despite her screams. (Yes, I am noting the girl was behaving poorly) The nanny kept trying to grab her and pull her toward the elevators and the girl kept yelling “no”. At one point the girl yelled “You’re hurting me” Many many people witnessed this.
All right, we know that pre teens and teens can be difficult however the nanny was an adult, much older than the child and could have seriously injured her with the overly physical way she was treating her. There are better ways to solve problems such as this without physically being rough with someone who’s smaller than you.
Again I will say that the girl was being very difficult but if I saw an adult attempting to drag my child I would be very upset. If this is your nanny, please be aware of how she chooses to handle the care of your daughter.

21 comments:

world's best nanny said...

I am in no way saying that what this nanny did was right, but there are days when teenagers make you feel like putting your head in a blender!

You can't pander them with treats, or give them timeouts to think it over. Being a mom I can always take away the cell phone, or the computer, but I don't think the family would be too cool with the nanny doing that. I personally think girls at that age are a bit more difficult than boys. My boy is nearly 14 and there are days I wish I was back at the terrible two's! I have been assured he will become human again sometime in the future. Nanny was probably under orders to be somewhere at a certain time and a teenager, being a teenager decided to assert herself at that time.

Kim said...

Sounds like this family needs to figure out something for this nanny to use as discipline. I agree WBN, I'd much rather have toddlers than pre teens and teens.

Jacqui said...

The girl sounds like a brat and I'm sure the "ow it hurts" was BS. The parents are probably well aware of the treatment needed to get their pain in the ass TWEEN to listen. If not, and they ENCOURAGE such behavior, then they don't deserve a nanny.
There's no reasoning with 13 year old girls when they get in a mood. I think they're WORSE than toddlers. At least toddlers are consolable and easy to preoccupy.

To be a preteen again...
WBN, he WILL be human again. Give him about 7-8 years.

OP, I think it was a good sighting simply because we don't know the circumstances. But generally speaking, kids that age are stubborn as hell. However, if this WAS an actual case of an abusive and/or ill-equipped nanny, it's good to get it out there.

PinkNanny said...

OP,

so what was the nanny supposed to do?

seattle said...

pinknanny,

attempt to talk to her. not drag her. call the mother. not look ridiculous, catching the attention of someone who cares enough to be concerned. who obviously would be upset if it were THEIR child.

try thinking.

Clo said...

God, I hate teens.

The saddest part is for a few more months, I still am one.

Conclusions said...

Nanny should have left her spoiled bratty ass in the train station, so then OP could have written in and said nanny had abandoned the child. For all u no mommy could have said bring her out regardless. This is a teenager who is quite capable of speaking up and saying she was being abused and/or hurt. Come onpeople 12/13 yr olds can speak cant they, and if she was being abused she would have definitely said something. No nanny would willingly abuse a child this age who can obviously speak. This is definitely not abuse. All books cannot be judged by the cover and we have no idea what happened prior to this incident and the nanny having to literally drag this child out of the station.

firsttimecaller said...

Since when is dragging a child appropriate IN ANY SITUATION, teen or not. If it were the parent they would have beeen reported to CPS.
I can't believe there is anyone out there who would defend this type of behavior. Remember.. the nanny is still bigger than the child.. who by the way.. is still a child. If the nanny were a responsible adult she could have and would have figured out a better way to handle.

firsttimecaller said...

^^and fwiw... no one said anything about abuse but it who knows what the situation could have escalated into.

mom said...

Sounds like a typical teen fit to me.
I feel for the nanny in this situation. She probably didn't know what else to do.
Sometimes teenagers are literally impossible to deal with (and WBN, it will get better...a little bit at 16...just enough to give you enough hope to muster the will to keep on trying and not actually kill them... but not completely until they are out of the teens entirely. Buckle down and get ready! You're in for a wild ride! I think 14 is the WORST!!)

If the economy was better I would suggest the nanny call her employer on the spot and tell her that she needed to either find some way to get control of her child or find another nanny. Although teens can be bratty to their parents, there's really no excuse for them taking it to other people. Thank goodness mine (and my friends' as well)kids managed to behave perfectly well in public and with other adults, and just saved up the hellish behavior for their parents. I think that is very typical, for teens to take everything out on their parents. After all, it's not that they don't have any control over themselves, or that they don't remember all that their parents have taught them about appropriate behavior and manners...it's more that they want to rebel against their parents and test every limit. The child in this post sounds like a real nightmare....even compared to other teens.

DenverNanny said...

WBN: Check with the family. My employers have encouraged me to discipline their kids by taking away their TV/computer "rights". The parents claim to trust you with their kids and whether or not the parents respect your childcare decisions should show you A LOT concerning how much they actually value and trust you.

the original gimmeabreak said...

Attempt to talk to her? uhh, yeah, talking to a out of control tween girl always works, and, as for calling the mother, i seriously doubt that would have done any good.

Phoenix said...

I bet if she let that girl go she would have run away. Then the nanny would be getting in trouble for losing the girl!! this is a no win situation and the teen needs to get a real swift kick in the ass by the parents.

ohwhynot said...

Re: raising teens and tweens: You feed 'em, you clothe 'em, you try not to loathe 'em.

Junita browneyestone said...

Ah,hello?

Have any of you stopped to think that this girl may have a disability? I care for a child who has autism. Jenna "seems" normal at a glance but once you talk to her or witness one of her SEVERAL outburst in a given day, you would understand why MAYBE the nanny needed to be firm. Consider the fact that she may fall in the special needs cat. Jenna, by the way is 13.

Kim said...

If I was a mom and I had hired a nanny, I definitely wouldn't want to get phone calls all day that my child won't behave. Isn't being able to discipline part of a nanny's job?

firsttimecaller said...

Hold on people...
Regardless of the fact that a pre-teen/teen is difficult IT IS NOT OK TO DRAG A CHILD. PERIOD. NOT OK. Let's remember that children have tantrums because they are not mature. Anyone remember that? A nanny's job is not to drag a bratty kid. It's to BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT and solve problems. (not act a bratty teen herself) I cant believe anyone finds the fact that a nanny was dragging a kid in public ok... rough time or not.

mom said...

first time caller,
Have you ever had a teenager of your own? Sometimes it's trench warfare. Dragging doesn't hurt anybody unless you're squeezing or jerking them.
Ever picked up a tantruming toddler and simply carried him to where you were going instead of endlessly coaxing him to walk? How is that a whole lot different? They probably had to catch a train and nanny didn't care to sit and wait an hour for the next one just because the girl was being bratty at that moment. And, as somebody said, the girl might have had some sort of special problem that made it necessary to pull her along and maintain physical control of her.

If I found out my nanny had to drag my 13 year old daughter to the train like that, my daughter would be going nowhere fun for a very long time. And, nanny would most likely be getting an apology...from both of us.

justtryingtohelp said...

op: of the post--
The nanny was indeed jerking and pulling the child with force. She wasn't just dragging her to get her to move along. I should have been more clear.It was a violent situation. I wish someone else who saw this would come forward.

mom said...

Well then that's different if she was actually hurting her.

However, I still can't help having some sympathy for the nanny being faced with somebody else's rotten teenager in one of those no win situations.

If I were that nanny...and if not for this sucky economy...I think I would have seriously considered finding a police officer and telling him the child was out of control and needed to be restrained until the parents could take posession of her. Then I would have waited at the police station until they arrived and if they did not profusely apologize and properly discipline the child...and possibly agree to get her into counseling, I would quit.

The girl's behavior seems way over the top even for a teenager. All she had to do was stand up and walk alongside the nanny, and instead she chose to be jerked and dragged along in what she claimed to be a painful way? How much sense does that make? And it makes me think she probably wasn't being hurt as much as she claimed, if at all. Teenager behavior is very self serving. She was getting exactly what she wanted in that moment, I have little doubt. (Well exactly what she wanted AFTER she didn't get whatever she wanted that started her on that vile fit of temper in the first place.)

Sometimes I think there is not enough money in the world to make it seem worthwhile to me to raise somebody else's teenager. I think I'd rather tame wild lions with a toothpick as my only weapon.

DT said...

Mom, I think taming a lion with a toothpick would be easier than nannying a teen.

JuanitaBrown...just out of curiosity, what is the protocol when your charge acts out. It's hard enough to deal with a toddler, but at least I can pick him up and walk him to bed or a safer place if he's throwing a tantrum.