I witnessed something deeply disturbing this afternoon, (4/3) at approximately 3:40 PM in Bryant Park near the Juarez statue. A black woman dressed in a thick, long white wool sweater, blue slacks, wearing a head band and with curly hair hanging off the back was with two children. One of the children was a black child, very healthy looking, in a mint green coat with pink velvet pants. She had to have been close to 20 months. The other child in the double stroller was a white child, of about 9 months. She was also a girl and able to hold her own bottle, which she was doing, sitting in the front of the double stroller, with one foot kicked up over the bar. She was wearing a Paisley print jacket with browns and pinks and black dress shoes with blue jeans. The stroller was a navy blue Graco, with large blue canopies over both seats. The woman identified herself as Mommy when cooing to the black child. The black child was wrapped in a cream colored blanket with fringes, which was half over the mother to. It took me awhile to realize the mother had began to breastfeed the child. I was momentarily shocked because the child was so big/old. Both children were being cooed to by the woman who had a very pleasant manner and was very good with the children, as far as I saw. After the child stopped nursing on the mother, yes she stopped on her own, lifted her head out from the blanket and covered her mom back up, the mother lifted her and put her in the rear seat of the stroller. She strapped her in, covered her with a red blanket that was in the stroller and handed her a light up glow worm doll. The mother than picked up the white child who had been drinking her bottle and put her on her lap and started talking to her, with her fingers playing with that child's fingers. I would swear on my life, that the woman looked around to see who was watching her before putting the child underneath the blanket and helping the child affix to her nipple. I could see the woman manipulating the child's face and her breast, it was breezy outside. After about five minutes, the woman switched the child to the other breast. This required a lot of maneuvering of the blanket and her underlying garments. The child nursed for about ten minutes on that breast and then the woman put her on her shoulder and patted her back for about five minutes. When she placed her in the stroller, she inched the seat down a bit because the baby was asleep. She covered this baby with another red blanket. She fixed herself, folded the cream blanket up, tucked it in the stroller next to the white baby and stood up and walked off. I am alarmed by this because I think the woman acted strangely when she looked around to see who was watching her, it was also kind of cool to be out for the length of time she was with two little ones. (She could not see me). I also think it is unsanitary to feed two babies like that, one right after the next. I wonder if the mother knows the baby is breastfeeding with this nanny. The baby was drinking a bottle when they originally sat down! I am sorry to say, I could not look away. The whole thing was pretty fascinating, but equally disturbing. If this is your nanny, I hope she has your permission to be breastfeeding your child.
Saturday
Bryant Park in NYC
Received Saturday, April 4, 2009
I witnessed something deeply disturbing this afternoon, (4/3) at approximately 3:40 PM in Bryant Park near the Juarez statue. A black woman dressed in a thick, long white wool sweater, blue slacks, wearing a head band and with curly hair hanging off the back was with two children. One of the children was a black child, very healthy looking, in a mint green coat with pink velvet pants. She had to have been close to 20 months. The other child in the double stroller was a white child, of about 9 months. She was also a girl and able to hold her own bottle, which she was doing, sitting in the front of the double stroller, with one foot kicked up over the bar. She was wearing a Paisley print jacket with browns and pinks and black dress shoes with blue jeans. The stroller was a navy blue Graco, with large blue canopies over both seats. The woman identified herself as Mommy when cooing to the black child. The black child was wrapped in a cream colored blanket with fringes, which was half over the mother to. It took me awhile to realize the mother had began to breastfeed the child. I was momentarily shocked because the child was so big/old. Both children were being cooed to by the woman who had a very pleasant manner and was very good with the children, as far as I saw. After the child stopped nursing on the mother, yes she stopped on her own, lifted her head out from the blanket and covered her mom back up, the mother lifted her and put her in the rear seat of the stroller. She strapped her in, covered her with a red blanket that was in the stroller and handed her a light up glow worm doll. The mother than picked up the white child who had been drinking her bottle and put her on her lap and started talking to her, with her fingers playing with that child's fingers. I would swear on my life, that the woman looked around to see who was watching her before putting the child underneath the blanket and helping the child affix to her nipple. I could see the woman manipulating the child's face and her breast, it was breezy outside. After about five minutes, the woman switched the child to the other breast. This required a lot of maneuvering of the blanket and her underlying garments. The child nursed for about ten minutes on that breast and then the woman put her on her shoulder and patted her back for about five minutes. When she placed her in the stroller, she inched the seat down a bit because the baby was asleep. She covered this baby with another red blanket. She fixed herself, folded the cream blanket up, tucked it in the stroller next to the white baby and stood up and walked off. I am alarmed by this because I think the woman acted strangely when she looked around to see who was watching her, it was also kind of cool to be out for the length of time she was with two little ones. (She could not see me). I also think it is unsanitary to feed two babies like that, one right after the next. I wonder if the mother knows the baby is breastfeeding with this nanny. The baby was drinking a bottle when they originally sat down! I am sorry to say, I could not look away. The whole thing was pretty fascinating, but equally disturbing. If this is your nanny, I hope she has your permission to be breastfeeding your child.
I witnessed something deeply disturbing this afternoon, (4/3) at approximately 3:40 PM in Bryant Park near the Juarez statue. A black woman dressed in a thick, long white wool sweater, blue slacks, wearing a head band and with curly hair hanging off the back was with two children. One of the children was a black child, very healthy looking, in a mint green coat with pink velvet pants. She had to have been close to 20 months. The other child in the double stroller was a white child, of about 9 months. She was also a girl and able to hold her own bottle, which she was doing, sitting in the front of the double stroller, with one foot kicked up over the bar. She was wearing a Paisley print jacket with browns and pinks and black dress shoes with blue jeans. The stroller was a navy blue Graco, with large blue canopies over both seats. The woman identified herself as Mommy when cooing to the black child. The black child was wrapped in a cream colored blanket with fringes, which was half over the mother to. It took me awhile to realize the mother had began to breastfeed the child. I was momentarily shocked because the child was so big/old. Both children were being cooed to by the woman who had a very pleasant manner and was very good with the children, as far as I saw. After the child stopped nursing on the mother, yes she stopped on her own, lifted her head out from the blanket and covered her mom back up, the mother lifted her and put her in the rear seat of the stroller. She strapped her in, covered her with a red blanket that was in the stroller and handed her a light up glow worm doll. The mother than picked up the white child who had been drinking her bottle and put her on her lap and started talking to her, with her fingers playing with that child's fingers. I would swear on my life, that the woman looked around to see who was watching her before putting the child underneath the blanket and helping the child affix to her nipple. I could see the woman manipulating the child's face and her breast, it was breezy outside. After about five minutes, the woman switched the child to the other breast. This required a lot of maneuvering of the blanket and her underlying garments. The child nursed for about ten minutes on that breast and then the woman put her on her shoulder and patted her back for about five minutes. When she placed her in the stroller, she inched the seat down a bit because the baby was asleep. She covered this baby with another red blanket. She fixed herself, folded the cream blanket up, tucked it in the stroller next to the white baby and stood up and walked off. I am alarmed by this because I think the woman acted strangely when she looked around to see who was watching her, it was also kind of cool to be out for the length of time she was with two little ones. (She could not see me). I also think it is unsanitary to feed two babies like that, one right after the next. I wonder if the mother knows the baby is breastfeeding with this nanny. The baby was drinking a bottle when they originally sat down! I am sorry to say, I could not look away. The whole thing was pretty fascinating, but equally disturbing. If this is your nanny, I hope she has your permission to be breastfeeding your child.
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whoaaaaa..... doubtful that she has permission- possible sure but doubtful. Disturbing. Yuck.
I am some what of a breastfeeding nazi, I am 100% for it. I am also for a Mother hiring a nursing Mother as a nanny and letting her nurse the baby. Maybe the Mother is unable for whatever reasons. Now obviously the nanny would need to be checked out health wise so Mom knows she is disease free. I have known friends who do this, I have even known two breastfeeding moms who when babysat for eachother, breastfed eachother's babies instead of having to pump.
Now I would NEVER ever recommend just letting anyone breastfeed your baby. Just like donated breast milk, it needs to be from a healthy individual with a healthy life style. Wet nurses were no big deal back in the day.
BTW OP 2 is not to old to be breastfeeding.
That being said. I doubt this woman had permission. Or maybe she was looking around because she knew that if someone saw it might look odd. Who knows. But yes the Mother should be informed. If I ever caught someon bf my baby that I did not know or had ok'd first, she'd be in deep shit.
I have never let anyone else bf my children, but if I had ever been in a position where I had, had to I would have had no problem with it. My boys (3 of them) were all breastfed until they self weaned, which was 6-1 year. Had they wanted to go longer I would have had no problem.
The point of the post (I hope) is that the Mom may be un aware of what the Nanny is doing, and that is NOT ok, at all! But I just wanted to add my 2 cents.
Please excuse any typing errors, my computer is falling apart and ismission about 10 keys :)
People pay top dollar for wet nurses.
Also, 20 months is not that long to nurse, especially when the WHO recommends a minimum of 24 months.
Now, the fact that the baby had a bottle and was then nursed? Maybe the wet nurse forgot to pump more for the outing and decided to offer the straight from tap? Or the baby usually takes bottles of expressed milk due to our breastfeeding taboos but she didn't have more for a second bottle?
From a health perspective, as long as the nanny is healthy the worse the baby can get is extra antibodies.
If she has permission, more power to her! I was exhausted breast feeding 1!
2 year olds are not too old, better than seeing a 2 year old with a binky! That comforting desire to suck should be long gone by then.
If she doesn't have permission, then it is dead wrong and kind of creepy.
Wow. Sounds like you don't like 1)Extended breastfeeding, 2)Tandem Breastfeeding, and 3)Wet nursing, if this is what it was.
She probably looked around to see if she was making anyone uncomfortable. I know I do it when there are teenage boys or little old men walking around.
Otherwise, sorry, but your post was so biased against breastfeeding, and honestly I do NOT see the alarm here. Have you even considered that both children could be this mother's? Or neither? Jeeze... get some culture and post when you find something that is worth "tattling" about. All this woman was doing was giving, likely both of her children, the nutrition and affection they deserved.
After the child stopped nursing on the mother, yes she stopped on her own
Sounds like you aren't that familiar with breastfeeding in general. What was the point of assuring us that "yes she stopped on her own"?
I was momentarily shocked because the child was so big/old.
I think it's attitudes like this that made the woman look around to see who was watching.
Yes, if she wasn't the mother of both children and didn't have permission to bf both of them, something is wrong. Otherwise, nothing else about that scene was in the least bit wrong.
OP doesn't give her age, but maybe she is just too young and unaware that 20 mo is not too old to BF. That being said, I find this post to be HIGHLY disturbing. The chances of that other child belonging to that mother/nanny are slim to none, and OP describes her "sketchy" behavior when feeding the 2nd child.. why didn't the mother/nanny act that way when BF the 1st child? OP describes that scene as being normal (natch for the childs age).
I hope that the proposed parent of the 2nd child sees this. I'm willing to bet that it was BF w/o permission.
Thank you for sending this in, OP.
This is the most ridiculous post I've ever read. In fact, the most disturbing thing about the whole writeup is the fact that YOU, OP, admit you were sitting there in hiding watching the three of them for at least half an hour, if not more.
Since you obviously know nothing about breastfeeding, here's some things to think on:
1) The World Health Organization and American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend that children breastfeed for a minimum of 24 months. MINIMUM. The fact that this country is so hung up on the sexualization of the female breast is the reason someone sees a 20 month old doing what they're supposed to do and then turns around and makes ridiculous freak-out posts.
2) Did it occur to you that the woman looked around to make sure she wasn't exposing herself to anyone nearby before putting the second child on? So when I'm in public and look around before latching on my baby (I am dark skinned, but he is white like my husbanbd), I need to start being wary that being discreet will cause someone will assume I'm being sneaky about feeding him? Gotcha.
3) Wet nursing is still done, as is breastfeeding between people who trust each other and know each other's medical histories. Try educating yourself about it.
4) It's unsanitary to feed two babies?? So... when I breastfed my twins, it was unsanitary. I should have just let one of them starve; you're completely right. What was I thinking?? Breastfeeding multiple children is NOT unsanitary. Breastmilk has both antiseptic and antibiotic properties, unlike other things multiple children might put their mouths on.
So the entirety of this post is "the nanny (if she even was one) was very loving and attentive with two children, and fed them." THE HORROR! Call in the cavalry! Or grow the hell up.
This is just one of those "who knows?" posts. Although it's not common, hiring a wet nurse is one of the oldest practices and not strange at all. A woman who is a wet nurse must by definition have a child of her own who is nursing.
Nothing was inappropriate about this post except the feeling that the OP had and all posters have their own biases and opinions. I do tend to think that when you see something and have an immediate "something is wrong there" reaction, chances are something is wrong. On the other hand, the OP clearly has issues with public breast feeding, so she's predisposed to find something wrong with the scene she saw. I don't think anything we say on here will change her views.
if the white child wasnt hers, then she was so wrong to bfeed him.
you on the other hand are very discriminatory: it is unsanitory to breastfeed one afte the other. hmmm so how do mothers with twins do it then i wonder?
you are also a pervert or dare I say lurker? maybe thats why she was glancing around?
i do so hope she had permission from the mom to do that though...
I have to say, I don't think this is "deeply disturbing"
At worst the woman is breast feeding a charge behind the parents back. If that's true hopefully the parents find out and stop it/fire her. It's not right, a nanny is supposed to feed according to how the parents want it done, not according to her own beliefs.
However there's a good chance she is 1. the mother of both children or 2. has permission
I guess we'll probably never know.
Let's not condem OP for posting this. I don't think she was a perve to be fascinated. That sounds like honesty to me.
What I think is that the younger child was maybe underweight or something. Maybe she was just giving the child a boost. Even if the parent did not authorize it, supplemental BF is only going to help the child, raise her iq, etc.
I'm all for it.
Breastfeeding is highly volatile.
If it so important to do and it really helps to raise iq points, why do we hand out food stamps and wick to poor people? Those kids need iq points. I think those mothers should be forced to breastfeed. Everyone talks about Nadia Suleman relying on tax payers to support her children, what about all of the welfare mothers out there buying boo yah baby formula on my dollar when they could breastfeed?
Bam. Like that, we'd save so many millions of dollars if we made mothers take care of their children. Or maybe they wouldn't have children if they knew it wasn't going to be so easy as ME paying for their formula and then using their EBF cash for diapers and stuff. Maybe people wouldn't be jumping over walls to come here and get free stuff. Why is it that so few Mexicans breast feed? Don't you think it's a bit opportunistic for all the illegals to not breastfeed but to encroach on us to buy their baby formula and sustinenece when all the research tells us Mom has the very best stuff.
Forcing someone to breastfeed because they are poor? I dont think so. I also don't approve of breastfeeding a child that has teeth and can eat regular foods.
I don't think OP was being anything but honest here and I see no prejudice in anything that she said. Not everyone is a big advocate of breastfeeding and also some cannot breast feed,so it sounds like if you cannot breast feed then you should not have kids or if you are poor and/or cannot breast feed your kids should starve ? There is no way I would let anyone breast feed my children unless they had been tests for TB, AIDS and other things like drug use and use of alcohol. It isn't as easy and wholesome as it sounds.
I think the reason that people ae against breast feeding in public is because of hard core breast feeders that think they have the right to shove it in peoples faces and they have to like it .It has become almost as bad as the first women libbers lol the next thing they will be burning their nursing bras.
I think this nanny was worried and looking around before she breast fed the little white girl for good reason. They are still many morons out there that are racists and she didn't want to be confronted by one?? AND no one could see if she used a wipey to cleanse her breasts between feeding both kids because of the blanket.
I don't think OP was being any kind of a pervert . SHe was simply
taken by what she was seeing and probably had never seen a wet nurse before or saw someone interact with little kids like this before?
Of course we have to get to the name calling because we don't agree with Op'sn post. Instead of actng like adults and discussing we have to call people perverts blah blah.
Just because people nwant to breast feedr their kids until they are 5 years old doesn't mean the OP has a right to her opinion. SHe thinks the child was too old and itn is her opinion and yours is they are never too old so who is the right one. The right person is the one who is doing the breast feeding.
its called a wet nurse. calm down
Fence Builder
I use to feel the way you do. I was 100% I was only going to breastfeed. Heck my mom did it with us. My sister with her two kids. And my aunts, etc.
I thought piece of cake. Was I wrong. I tried nursing when he was born for the three days in the hospital. It was difficult for me. I even had the lactation consultants trying to help me out. One nurse put a little sugar water near my breast. Hoping it would get my son interested. I would have him on each side for at least 30 minutes. The day we were going to leave, I saw what I thought was blood in his diaper. But it wasn't. Thank goodness I didn't change his diaper right then. It was the nurse that did it, and the doctor was in the room. He wanted to check the baby again before we left. My son was actually dehydrated.
So maybe, it wasn't the right thing to do. But right away they gave him a bottle. His jaundice was pretty bad.
So when I was home I would breastfeed at first. Then he would still cry bloody murder. ONce he had the bottle he was fine. I tried pumping for two months. The most I would get out was two ounces at a time. So of course I gave formula with every feeding.
Of course the pediatrician was no help. I asked if there was anything i could take. And he said no no just give formula. I even bought MOthers Tea and these pills that are supposed to increase milk. Never worked
Find out two years later, my son has low muscle tone. Hypersensitivity in his face. Not sure if this had anything to do with it or not.
But please don't judge moms that give formula. So like myself, just couldn't get a flow in. And maybe, next time I will get help ahead of time before we have another baby
I think back in the bible times, you read of other women that breastfeed other womens babies. Maybe, they had trouble too getting a supply in or for their child to latch on.
down to earth, so my friend's baby who got teeth at 3 months should no longer be breastfed? I don't think so!
20 months is not too old. If the mother and baby still want to nurse, then that's fine. Even the experts agree on this one.
As for the other, we really don't know whether permission was given so I won't comment on it.
If baby can unbottom mom's shirt and remove said breast from bra, nurse and then pack away all the equipment, the child is too old.
I don't think this would bother me as much, even the two children suckling of the single teet, if the mother/nanny would have used an alcohol pad to clean of then nipple before the next child was latched on to it.
Breastfeeding is natural and OP's fascination is completely normal. To be able to soothe and nurture a growing being from a single sip of mother's essence, it's magical. The benefits of breastfeeding are many and the defects are none. I encourage every mother to breast feed until the child is at the least two years old. After 7 months, the child should introduce other things to his/her diet but the sustenance from mother's body should continue at as much volume as possible until the child has turned two. There are untold benefits for the mother as well. While nursing an infant (or toddler) prolactin and oxytocin enter the mom's bloodstream. These compounds are also known as the chemical basis for mothers' intuition as they increase the sense of love and attachment. Nursing also forces you to take several relaxing breaks through out your day. It also delays the onset of menses once the baby is born. This is the one part of attachment parenting fathers can't do directly, but they can create a nurturing environment in which the mama can breastfeed in comfort. Get your partner a glass of water, a pillow or blanket, perhaps a footstool.
They sell kits at the drugstore now to test your child for presence of marijuana, alcohol, and other drugs in the system. Perhaps they should come out with one so that we can easily test our child for breast milk present in the digestive tract.
I fail to see what we should be upset about, unless the nanny was breastfeeding without the mom
knowing, which sounds unlikely to me. Otherwise I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding a 20-month-old.
Breastfeeding is a personal choice between a mother and child. I think most would agree that there is an age at which breastfeeding becomes socially and developmentally inappropriate i.e. the famous 8yo breastfeeding video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74). However, 20mo is certainly NOT too old for someone to breastfeed.
OP's post is perfectly reasonable. If the mom in question sees it and has okayed the breastfeeding, she can email Jane and have the post removed. However, if she has not, then I'm sure she will be grateful for the info.
Finally, the benefits of breastfeeding are most likely real, especially decreased infections in the early months. But the long term benefits to things like IQ and weight are FAR from proven in any conclusive way. Also, wet nurses do exist but to act as if they are a common profession in today's society is totally inaccurate. In modern times, in the US, they remain extremely rare.
I don't think that is very disturbing. It's called a wet nurse and while its not as common these days it's not strange. and btw I know several parents who have breastfed past 2 years
Has anyone considered that they were both her children? I have several friends with mixed race families and the mothers and children have completely different skin tones. Also, one of the children could have been adopted. I know many mothers who have breast fed their adoptive children. From the description, the woman was very nurturing and loving to both babies. Things are not always as they seem!
Jeez, how many times are we going to say "it's called a wet nurse"? We all know that. The part I found disturbing was IF the child is being BF by the nanny, THAT'S disturbing, not that it's a wet nurse. If she checks out healthy and the parents agree that is what's best for their child, who the hell am I to say anything? Good for them!
Over the years, the people who get most offended by Mother's like me, who advocate so strongly for breastfeeding, is the Mother's that can't breastfeed. The women my views are never pointed at. I would never ever ever put a Mother down for not being able to bf her child. There is a difference between won't and can't. There are many reasons a woman may not be able. She may have a condition which requires medication not suitable for a child. Her milk may never come in, she may hae no breasts due to breast cancer. These women already feel horrible for not being able to bf, and I would never do anything to try and make them feel worse.
However, when it comes toa Mom who CAN bf, whose milke DID come in, who is NOT on any medication and they choose not to breastfeed. I will tell them they are selfish. That they are not putting their child first. Mom's say it'so inconvenient, time consuming, etc. So they get formula. Why would you not want to give your child the best possible nutrition available? Because you can't sit there for 30 min? Because it ties you down? Oh well, its your baby and you should do what is best for them, not you! Some mom's say I can't drink or eat what I want. How pathetic that there food and drink wins over their baby. Nothing is worse then a stay at home mom who IS able to bf and doesn't, just because she doesn't want to. SELFISH is what it is, plain and simple.
Lindsey - can you think of any "acceptable" situations in which a mother with no medical contraindication to breastfeeding might choose not to do so? I can think of plenty. One major one is simply the parents' decision of what is best for their family. If, for example, a mom finds that breastfeeding is making her exhausted, resentful, and just plain inhibiting her ability to bond with her baby then breastfeeding may NOT be in the best interest of the child. Some moms report bfing increases their postpartum depression, also not good for baby. The difficulty of bfing if working tremendous hours is also something to be considered (though I see you specified SAHM in your final statement, not clear if you deem it okay for WOHM not to bf).
I'm just not a fan of judging other parents' choices or calling a mom selfish based solely on the idea that she did not bf (for ANY reason). I know plenty of wonderful mothers who chose not to bf just because they did not want to. And plenty of not-so-involved moms who did bf. I do not think it is such a clear cut issue as you portray.
Has everyone here been sidetracked?? If this Nanny did NOT have permission to nurse one of the children if they weren't hers, that is EXTREMELY disturbing! I would NOT want my child's caregiver doing that without my permission (I wouldn't give permission either). That is something very personal, and with health risks, and I would be pissed off if it happened to me.
That being said, if she had permission or they were both hers, more power to her. But really, how common are wet nurses? I peruse many sites/agencies ads weekly and have yet to see one looking for a wet nurse. The Nanny maybe just thinks she's doing something good for the child...
and to "Fence Builder" - wtf? There is a much higher percentage of Hispanics that nurse vs White Americans... it's in their culture, it's not tabboo for them like here to have to cover up with blankets and have people complain... they can just raise up their shirt and do it... go find a right wing website to do your complaining on.
It doesn't matter what the OP's views on breastfeeding are.
And I agree with "This isn't about.."
It's not BF vs formula or nanny vs mother/wetnuse/whatever.
It's about OP having a gut feeling that the woman in question was acting suspiciously and she felt that she was not supposed to be BF this child. IF it turns out that its the mom/wetnurse/whatever, FINE that's great.
If you all react so poorly to someone posting something where their INTUITION (which by the way, in usually every post everybody says "Trust your gut feeling") was that something was just not right.
The only reason that anyone sends in sightings is in hopes that the parent/relative/friend/WHOEVER who may know this child may be able to DO SOMETHING about said behavior.
Honestly, if I saw my nanny on here and it was one of those questionable sightings and turned out that it wasn't anything bad-- I would feel absolutely honored and thrilled that someone cared enough about MY CHILD to even bother to get online, type up what they saw, and put it on a site. So whether or not its a nanny, mother, or wetnurse, OP cared enough to post what she felt like was a suspicious situation in the hopes that the parent may or may not know or feel the same way.
So, take the sticks out of your asses. Everyone is going to have different opinions on BF. Nobody is wrong or right. It's like abortion/gay marriage/whatever else. Do whatever *you* want and what you feel is best *for you and your child* and give others the same respect.
To fence builder:
People should be forced to breastfeed? I happen to know people that can't breastfeed. one of them physically can't. the milk just barely comes out, so it was recommended that she stop. the other one it hurts way too much. try being more sensitive in the future before passing judgment.
not to jump on this bandwagon but ...
SHE COULD HAVE BEEN THE MOTHER OF BOTH CHILDREN! nothing in your post hints to me otherwise. i am in a bi-racial marriage and white children are possible. there was a double stroller indicating someone purchased that for two children... my employer wouldn't have done that. anyhow, i know that isn't the point, but because this entire post was everything everyone's already mentioned, mainly biased against BF and wet nurses i just have to nit pick on this little issue.
forgive me people, i couldn't help myself.
I love the breast-feeding + Mexicans jumping walls connection...my God!
Assuming the older child belongs to the woman, and the younger one is her charge-
I find it very likely that the parents hired her as a wet nurse, given the age of her daughter (less than a year older than theirs) and the nanny's obviously pro-breastfeeding stance (she's still breastfeeding her child at 20 months, which is normal, but uncommon).
If I read correctly, the younger child fell asleep after breastfeeding. Could it be that nanny thought she was ready for a nap, but is not supposed to nurse the baby to sleep anymore? Maybe that's why she was looking around. I know a mom who breastfed over a year, but did not want to nurse her child to sleep after about 8 months, because she wanted her to fall asleep on her own. In this instance, nanny feeding the baby is not so big a deal.
I've got to be honest back in the day if I could've afforded a nanny that was lactating I would've jumped all over the idea. I breastfed until my son was 15 months old, it just wiped me out.
Fence Builder - Do you even know anything about WIC? Obviously not, because you spelled it wick. WIC is a program that is a BIG time advocate of breastfeeding. They give you books, pamphlets, and classes on breast feeding, and make sure you are ready to try breastfeeding when the baby is born. However, just like everyone said, it doesn't always work out as planned. So you'd rather let innocent babies die, than to be given some formula if the mother cannont produce milk, or decides for whatever reason not to? Some mothers even have to go back to work very quickly after giving birth to help support their growing family which can make it even more difficult to breastfeed. How ignorant.
As far as the color of the babies, one baby could be seen as white, one as black, but honestly they can have the same parents, or just the same mother. It happens all the time.
I am pregnant with my first (and I am a nanny) and I plan on breastfeeding for the first 24 months. I however have done my research and know that if it doesn't happen, it doesn't make me less than a good mother and it doesn't mean my baby won't be smart or well fed. I will do my best. It also scares and saddens me that I won't be able to breastfeed my child in public because people find it so "weird" and like to stare so much. I guess I will just have to get past that and do what's best for my baby.
I don't find anything wrong with this post, just in case this woman is the nanny and doesn't have permission. That is the point of this site. Just like a nanny who might spank a child, I don't agree with spanking but you never know if the mother gives nanny permission to spank or not. At least we have this outlet to let parents know what is happening, just in case something is wrong.
If the nanny was BF with the parents' permission, then bravo for her and for the parents for being secure enough to provide their child with breast milk. If not, obviously, that's overstepping boundaries.
I'm a huge proponent of extended BF. I'm still BF my four. year. old. Pick your 'lil jaws up off the floor now. ;)
BTW, I have a few choice friends who know they are allowed to BF my son. I've BF the children of these moms on occasion as well. Once you've BF multiple kids for multiple years, that silly old taboo tends to go the way of the dodo. It feels completely normal to us. If if it feels odd to you, don't do it.
I am the person who sent in this. As I stated, the mother referred to herself as the mother when cooing and talking to the black child. She did not when cooing and talking to the white child. She spoke and cooed to both of the children for the same amount of time and yet only referred to herself as Mommy to the one child.
Some of the posters on this board have major chips on their shoulders. Baggage that they carry with them, they seem ready to hurl at any post.
If I would have thought for one second there was even the remote chance she was the mother, do you seriously think I would have taken time out of my day to relay the event?
Stop insulting the intelligence of your authors or you won't have anymore submissions.
I missed this when it was first posted, but what exactly is disturbing about this? A black woman BFing a white baby? The woman probably looked around to see who was watching because she didn't want pervs or busybodies obsessing on her while she BFed the babies. I guess she *could* have some bizarre breastfeeding fetish, so much so that she would surreptituously sneak someone else's baby onto her breast and force them to feed, just because she gets off on it, but in all common sense, odds are she was feeding 2 babies with full consent of the mother.
Maybe I'll get slammed by the "who cares who it was, she's a sicko" crowd, but I might guess she and the mom of the white baby are a lesbian couple, and she does all the BFing of both babies? I just don't see anything here that is more than interesting. Not disturbing.
Cali Mom,
Have you never met a NY lesbian? Much less a breastfeeding NY lesbian? We don't sneak around or shy away from controversy. Bring it on.
I hadn't read all the replies befote posting, and I'm happy to see that most posters don't automatically form a disturbed conclusion of dastardly intent when reading about a woman BFing 2 babies who may or may not both have been born from her uterus.
Lesbian, not sure what your point was. Care to clarify?
Bay Area lesbians would most likely be very pro-breastfeeding, and if I had witnessed this here, I'd assume the lady was the mom of both babies, either by having birthed them or being bonded to the birth mother of the one she didn't birth from herself. If you have an issue with that...it ain't the only one you've got, I'll bet.
And actually, since I've never been to NY, no, I've ever met a NY lesbian. Should I be ashamed of that?
Well, now you've met me. And I would never hesitate, hide or look around to see who was watching before I did something as natural and normal as breastfeeding a child. Mine or someone else's. This does not strike me as a Lesbian sighting.
"dory in MA said...
I don't think this would bother me as much, even the two children suckling of the single teet, if the mother/nanny would have used an alcohol pad to clean of then nipple before the next child was latched on to it."
OUCH!!!!!!!! Clearly, you have NEVER breastfed. I can't even imagine how dry and cracked my nipples would be if I used alcohol swipes on them?!!!! I shudder thinking about it. Maybe you don't know, but there is actually an oil secreted on the nipple that kills bacteria and "sanitize" the surface. You aren't even supposed to use soap on them. Alcohol???? OW!
Doesn't it make you sag?
PHX, not any more than multiple pregnancies, middle age, and gravity, personally, I don't have big 'uns to start ~ B cup when I'm not nursing and a full B when I'm not.
http://www.wmur.com/health/19109441/detail.html
Kind of relevant to the topic at hand.
That dad sounds paranoid and ridiculous.
nc
I don't know how you do it... but you always seem to find the best Articles. Thank you!
LOL!
Sounds like that movie "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"!
I'm not sure what to think. Why would it be such a bad idea? No one knows if this woman is a wetnurse, or if she is actually *gasp* the Mom!
It's a little offensive that it seems more that this woman was concerned that the woman was A) breastfeeding in public and B) breastfeeding a baby of another race, and chose to do what many do - which is to assume the worst and then complain. I'm surprised that she didn't call the police.
Leave it alone already.
mpp,
It is my pleasure.
Roses,
I remember that movie. That was a pretty freaky one.
I really don't want to flame the OP, but I think it's very telling that she opens her post with something she saw that was "very disturbing." If I saw this happening, I might wonder if the nanny had permission, and be a little bit curious/concerned. I would not be "deeply disturbed." I am guessing that beyond the question of permission, the OP really just has some issues/lack of knowledge about breastfeeding, especially older infants/toddlers. This issue is common in American society, so I'm not going to place too much blame on OP, but I will say it was an overreaction.
it's called a wet nurse, and its a practice that has been around for hundreds of years, mainly royals, who would hire wet nurses to nurse their babies for them. Also, 20 months is NOT old to be nursing. I nursed my daughter until she was a little over 3 years old. It's VERY healthy and beneficial. Get over it. God made boobs for this purpose alone. Period.
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