Saturday

Undermined by the Old Sitter...

Received Saturday, March 7, 2009
Perspective and Opinion on ISYN I have a situation. I am a nanny for three kids and I love my job, but there's one problem. I feel undermined by the old babysitter (and now nanny for another family in the development) and one of the oldest girl's mom.

Whenever we go out to the community playground the other nanny is constantly checking on my charges, commenting on things they do, and over stepping her boundaries while ignoring her own charges. The problem is that everyone in the development thinks she is so great, including my boss. She has been working as a babysitter for many families in the area over the years and is now employed by a friend of my bosses. She is very short with her charges and today when one kept falling off his bike she just looked over and continued talking to another mom at the playground. Every time I am outisde with my charges and she is out there she is constantly asking where they are going, what they are doing, etc and making comments about it to me. I don't appreciate it and she is very aggressive with the way she says things.

The other problem is one of the parents of my oldest charge. She asked to go over to her friend's house and since she is allowed to I said ok. I had let her know she has to pick up before her mom gets home and needs to be mindful of that. My charge was playing outside and left some trash out on the playground (something I am not ok with). Since she is 9 years old and responsible for picking up after herself I called over to her friend's house and asked the mom if she could please send her to the playground to pick up her trash. The mom curtly responded with, "I'm not sending her over there to pick up her trash!"

I'm really not sure what to do in either case. I don't want to stir trouble with either person, but I am the one ultimately responsible for my charges, their behavior, and safety. Any advice?

14 comments:

Blah said...

It is so annoying when parents don't respect you at all or try to help out with the situation. Unfortunately there are many parents like them. What you need to do is ignore them, and do what you know. If that nanny steps on those boundaries, remind her that she has her own charges to care for and you don't need her help with your own. If she refuses to back off, talk to the parents about it. If they refuse to help you, look for another job. Nobody wants to work for inconsiderate, disrespectful people.

UNIDAD said...

like Blah said, no one wants to work in a situation like that!

someone's nanny said...

If it were me, i'd be nosey right back at the old nanny. When her charge fell off the bike and she ignored him, I'd have run over to see if he was OK.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nannyinmanhattan said...

Like Annonymous said...also I would tell old nanny to mind her business and DO HER JOB!!

Why is there and annonymous on here anyway??/


hee hee

anonimouse said...

oh no MPP is hovering over to do her job of removing people who won't use a moniker as required! Yes, you detect a hint of sarcasm in that statement.

mom said...

I would simply ignore the old nanny when she got nosey. Just look at her to let her know that you heard her, and then look away without answering or changing your expression.
And when her charge fell off of his bike, you could have said loudly enough for the other parents who think she is so fantastic to hear, "Is that the boy you are supposed to be watching? He looks like he might be getting hurt. Do you think you might want to supervise him more closely until he learns how to ride his bike a little better? POOR LITTLE GUY."

AS for the rude mom who wouldn't send the girl back to the playground...that was her fault, not the child's. Next time something like that happens, wait fifteen minutes after the initial phone call and then called back to have the mom send the girl home (tell her it is to do homework or eat, or whatever, if she insists on an explanation.) Then when the child arrives home, take her to the park yourself and supervise her as she picks up not only her own trash, but five other pieces of other people's trash to make up for her lack of responsibility. Nothing like a little "community service" to help them remember its better to do the right thing in the first place!

worlds best nanny said...

Tell old nanny to drop dead. Tell her this is 2009 and her ancient ways of childcare are long-assed gone!

same way as you said...

I am the same way as you! I am a nanny to three kids, all of which are old enough to clean up their own messes, including the youngest, who is three. They are constantly trying to get away with not cleaning up but I tell them they have to before they can do anything fun. I suggest that if you ever have the situation where the mother told you she wasn't going to have the child go clean up her trash, that you ask to speak to the child and tell the child that she needs to go take care of her trash. If she refuses, tell her that she will not be allowed to go back to the playground when is your care if she cannot be responsible for her own messes. Just ignore the mom and talk straight to the child.

alex said...

why did the other nanny leave her charges if she still feels she should be so involved and ask questions for them? Also, the friends mom definitely should not have done that. Not only was that rude different families have different rules and she should not be the one who decides whether to send a child back or not.

nannyinmanhattan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I hate other nannies said...

I hate working with other nannies because they ALWAYS want to show that they are the best. It's so annoying.
Tell that nanny to watch her kids. Or just go to other park where you won't see her.
About the mom, I don't see why you had to call her. It was unnecessary. But you don't need to apologize for anything either.

SFO Mom said...

this is sick, these forums really r going down hill.

Marypoppin'pills said...

SFO mom
It is the work of one person. We are trying not to feed into it. Please ignore them.