Wednesday

Okay for Nanny to Drink While on the Job?

Received Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Perspective and Opinion on ISYN I don't know if this has been addressed before and you might have to spell check this because I am on my phone. I wanted to run this by other employers and see how they feel about this. We have a good nanny, she has been with us 4 months and is a live-in. We pay her overtime when she works late, per day, not per week. She doesn't seem to mind babysitting 2-3 nights per week. When my husband and I come home, we usually have a drink. I will usually have a glass or two of wine, he will usually have a scotch. Occasionally, he will have many glasses of wine to the point where he and I have joked in front of the nanny about him knocking out a whole bottle of wine. The thing is, the nanny, age 30, when she is babysitting late, will have a drink as early as before dinner. I am not counting how much she drinks. I think it tends to be 3-4 glasses of wine or 3-4 beers. She doesn't eat with the children (I would prefer she did), but will sit with them and have a drink. Then she will clean up the kitchen and have another drink and join them in the family room where she has another drink. I don't believe she is intoxicated, although I do wonder if she would be impaired if she needed to drive somewhere. My real question has to do with the appropriateness of these actions. She is on the clock and making double her hourly salary when she works past 6:30. She has the right to say no if she doesn't want to sit (we told her this when we hired her). Employers, what do you think? How would you handle this?

59 comments:

Swiss Nanny said...

Hi OP, I am not an employer, but I am a live-in nanny. My employers are wine drinkers as well, and always have many glasses of wine with dinner, and after. I know that they would have no problem with me having a glass of wine WITH dinner with my charge. However, I personally do not ever have more than one glass because I am still working, and should be able to drive if something happens. I do not think you would be out of line to ask her to at least eat with the children if she is going to have alcohol. And ask her to limit her drinks to one or two. Good luck, and please keep us updated! :)

Alchy said...

One glass is generous, any more is nuts.

Only if you live in a bar said...

Max. of one glass wine WITH dinner. I don't see a problem with her having a couple drinks if the children are alreay in bed asleep, especially if she knows you will be coming home soon (note: I do not mean she should be completely intoxicated). IMO, the amount she seems to be drinking is too much on the job.

How much do you care? said...

I drink like this. I am not a nanny, of course, but I drink like this while caring for my own children.

I can truly say I am an alcoholic, and so is your nanny.

Pretty soon your child will understand the phrase, "go fetch mama/nanny a beer from the fridge sweetie."

And if they grow up anything like me they will know how to mix a mean captain and coke by the age of 10.

Swiss Nanny said...

Well, at least your honest, How much do you care? And I am sure your children will be thanking you when they are in AA!

Emily said...

Maybe I'll be the minority voice on this issue, but I think it is horribly inappropriate for a nanny to have any alcohol while working or in her place of work. My employers have occasionally asked if I'd like a glass of wine, especially when we're out to dinner or traveling, but I would never accept that offer. I live-in Monday through Friday, which means that (unless I go out in the evening after the parents are home) I don't consume any alcohol Mon.-Fri.

Now, obviously this is my choice, not some kind of rule carved in stone--but I do think that as an industry standard it is generally frowned upon to drink on any type of job, and that should go doubly for people who are caring for young children.

Think of it this way: If anything goes terribly wrong, regardless of who's fault it might be, the headlines in the paper or news story would begin "Drunk Nanny . . ."

worlds best nanny said...

I drink on the job, almost daily. Never to the point of drunkenness. I am responsible for keeping the liquor cabinet, the wine cooler and the fridge stocked. So...whats the big deal if I have one?

Austin Nanny said...

I don't think this is appropriate at all. All that wine on an empty stomach would impair her ability to drive if God forbid, one of the children had an accident and needed to go to the emergency room.

Justine said...

I have to agree with Emily. You are on charge with children involved. Leave the partying to time off the clock.
By the way, is she drinking your wine? Sounds like a full bottle to me, the 3-4 glasses, which is TOO much to casually drink as often as she has been. Getting paid to drink--Wow! must be nice!

nyc mom said...

I am an employer. No way I would be comfortable with my nanny having even one drink while working. I would never consume alcohol on the job. We are not big drinkers (drink a few glasses of champagne maybe twice a year)though I was when younger, so we rarely even have open alcohol in the house. Lots of closed bottles gathering dust! My mom used to babysit for us occasionally and drink a few drinks. I asked her to stop because I just wasn't comfortable with it and did not see the need. I don't get why your nanny can't just wait until she's off work to drink.

I used to have a more relaxed attitude about this. Then years ago, we had an au pair (live in, young 20's) who literally got drunk while soley responsible for my 1yo. It was a Friday night, she was sitting while we went to a movie, and intended to go out partying after we got home. I was fine with her going out after we were home as she was off the next day, but when we arrived home she was stone cold drunk. I partly blame myself because we used to say it was fine for her to have a drink or two. She returned home to her country the next day as that was grounds for immediate termination in my books. I will never make the mistake of being even a little flexible about this issue again.

chickenslacks said...

nyc mom, you are an asshole.

You told her she could drink. Maybe she didn't know her limits?
She was young and she made a mistake in judgement (with YOUR permission?!??) and you ruined her life and had her sent home for a mistake you facilitated?

YOU were just as much to blame as the au pair, and I hope you get the karmic justice you so richly deserve.

Baltimore Nanny said...

I think her drinking "on the job" is inappropriate if its one drink or 15 drinks. As stated already, what if she needs to drive the children somewhere? Or what if there is some sort of emergency.

As a nanny, I have been invited to have a drink with the parents from time to time. Usually, I decline, but once or twice I will have one beer with them.

In fact, as a mother, if we got out to dinner with my son or I am going to be coming home to my son, I limit myself to just one or two drinks. There's always that chance something will happen and I need to be able to handle things without my judgement impared.

momkat said...

Have you seen the newest studies showing that for women, even as little as one drink a day raises the risk for breast cancer, lung cancer, and other cancers. As women, we truly need to limit the amount of alcohol we drink for health reasons.

etereia said...

I remember only once having a beer with my employers. I babysat for one of my favorite families on a late Friday night. When they got home, the kids had long gone to sleep and the parents told me: "Would you like to have a beer with us? We will still pay you for your time and we just want to hang out and chat with you." So, I had a drink before I went home.
In general, I don't think it is a good idea to drink at all when you are with your charges. The worst aside (meaning a dire emergency happening and you are lolling around all hammered), what if you do have to load them in the car and go somewhere? And then a police officer pulls you over and smells beer on you - cause especially with beer - even one stinks. What a mess your life and your employers' life will be then.

etereia said...

Actually, in connection with what I just wrote, I have a question for all of you. I haven't familiarized myself with ALL the laws in this country, yet. So, I started wondering about what exactly happens to the parents, if you are the nanny and you are caught by the police driving their kids drunk. Are the parents held responsible, too?

nanny-to-be said...

I can't imagine ever drinking on the job. In fact, I'm shocked that parents would give the OK for their nannies to drink.
I'm pretty new to this site, and after reading story after story about nanny neglect, I can't believe that any parent who comments negatively on those nannies would give permission to their own nannies to do anything that might facilitate that type of behavior.
Because lets be honest, even one glass of wine, especially on an empty stomach, has the potential to create a "buzz". Not to mention that alcohol is a depressant, and one of it's major attributes is that it helps to release inhibitions. And who in their right mind would want someone watching their children who has consciously done something to impair their judgment?
I have no problem with people who drink, but I just can't imagine any parent giving their nanny the OK to drink when that person is responsible for the lives of their children.
I definitely think the OP needs to talk to their nanny about the amount of drinking she's doing on the job. As many other people have said, if she needs to drive anywhere, or even make any important judgment calls, she needs a clear mind, and with 3 drinks on an empty stomach, I doubt she has one.

DowntoEarth said...

If you or your nanny take a child to the ER and they smell booze on you CPS and the police will be called. If you get stopped with booze on your breath with kids in the car they can charge you with child neglect and endangerment.
Her in Ca we have the "0 tolerance law" they can charge you with a dui if the smell booze on you.
A nanny should not drink while working, not just to protect the children but herself. Even if the parents know she drinks and say it is ok if something happens to a child that story is going to change. If it is necessary that your nanny drinks 3 to 4 glasses of wine a night while watching the kids I would be looking a another nanny. Even parents who have too much to drink and something happens to the kids get tossed in jail.

Huh. said...

How Much do you Care?,
It's refresing to see how honest you are. I have neighbors whose 5 year old can mix up those captains with ease. Is there really anything I can do to intervene? On the outside, they look like one big happy family.

sam said...

what's the karmic retribution for recklessly calling people assholes for simply sharing (honestly) their experience?

ummm....ok said...

I do not think it is ok for a nanny to drink at all while on the clock. I am a nanny and would never drink while I was watching the children (not even while they were sleeping). It is not acceptable under any circumstance to have a caregiver drinking while watching your children. Do you get paid to drink on the job? Most people would get fired!

t said...

I am so over people playing devil's advocate on nanny sightings, but let me play devil's advocate here, since it is an opinion post. What if the nanny is tubby, portly, biggity-biggs, a hefty ho? It takes 5 beers for me to even feel a chill and I could do headstands on a straight line after six. Well, I could if I wasn't so ginormous, mammoth & all around hugantic.

Mary said...

I disagree with her drinking on the job. If it was one glass of wine, I could understand. But any more than that should not happen. She would not be allowed to drink at any other job. Nanny jobs are different, but they are still a JOB. Is she is having several glasses of wine, she may very well be impaired. What if one of your kids breaks an arm and she has to drive them to hospital? Maybe she does, but she's impaired and either crashes or gets a DUI on the way there. What if she has too much wine that she gets sleepy and falls asleep while your children are still awake.

Those are all fairly dramatic examples, but they could happen. I feel it's completely inappropriate for her to be drinking while she is "on the clock".

I am a parent said...

Sometimes I wish I could have cocktail hour after a hectic day, I am no teetotaller and neither am I a lush, but when my kids were under 16 I couldn't bring myself to drink while I was in charge of my kids, your kids, etc. If we went out one of us had cocktails and one of us did not. Now the kids can drive I allow myself one drink when we are all out together, but forget about even taking a drop until everyone is safely at home for the evening. I just want to be in charge of my thought process in the event we have an emergency. So after that winded response (sorry), I say NO, the nanny should not be drinking on the job. Only holding her to what I would do myself.

nanny-to-be said...

t said-
Honestly, if it were my kid and my nanny, I would still say absolutely no way. Even if the nanny was truly not effected by the alcohol and it didn't impair her judgment, that wouldn't matter to to an outside party.
As DowntoEarth said, if that nanny has to take the child to the hospital or even for a drive and a cop or health professional smells that beer, they're certainly not going to care if "it doesn't effect you".
The legal limit in the US is .08%
If you weigh around 230 lbs and you drink between 3 and 4 drinks equal to 12 oz of beer your blood alcohol level will be equal or greater to .08. Obviously if you weigh less, you're going to be able to drink less before you hit that limit.
So, disregarding all of the other arguments, that's the legal side of it.

nanny-to-be said...

ha How dumb is it that I actually put your name as "t said"
I'm obviously really new to this

Wicker Park Nanny said...

OP, do you have a problem with her drinking? From the tone of your post it seems you don't really have too much of a problem with it, rather you want to know what is societally a norm. Am I correct?

I would generally be discouraged of drinking on the job. I've never drank while working and never been offered a drink while working. If the parents were home and they offered me to drink WITH them, then I might be inclined to accept, but on my own, when I'm soley responsible? NO WAY!

I have some rules I set up for myself in regards to drinking (I'll share them just for your entertainment):

1. No drinking ALONE.
2. No drinking if I'm angry, sad, or depressed.
3. No more than 2 cocktails or 3 glasses of wine. - I don't drink beer.

There are several alcoholics in my family and as a result I have given myself guidelines. I'm not suggesting these for anyone but myself, just sharing for your entertainment purposes only.

OP, I suggest you go with your gut and advise your nanny to drink the way you are comfortable with when she's on the clock. Albeit one glass or none. If she's staying late in the evenings she is doing so on her own acceptance and should not be allowed to treat this time any different than her regular hours.

DenverNanny said...

Um...could be wrong, but I thought it only took a couple glasses to raise blood alcohol levels past the legal limit for driving. And I can't imagine drinking on the job AT ALL--much less 3-4 drinks. While I can see how it could be nice to nurse a glass of wine while watching late night tv in a silent house full of sleeping kids--I'd still be the responsible adult in the house so no way.I think even allowing your nanny access to your liquior cabinet is crossing the line and is inappropriate, except maybe on special occasions when nanny is off duty. Most of the parents I know won't even drink until the kids are in bed and asleep...

lushless at work said...

Wicker Park Nanny - Are you a Nanny in the Chicago Wicker Park? I'm a Wicker Park Nanny too!

Anyways. I've nannied for 3 different families, and all of the families have offered me drinks numerous times. With them, or while I was sitting for them on the weekends or at night. I've worked for a mother in the past that drank a lot during the day, and I always felt like someone needed to be able to drive. It just didn't seem right. I think it gets trickier when you have a live in Nanny. Maybe your nanny feels like it's her home too, and if she is going to be at home alone while you guys go out, then she will enjoy herself. However, I assume you're paying her well - in fact it doesn't matter because you're paying her at all, and she's working. If you think she should refrain from drinking while she is on the clock, you have every right. I personally can't drink on the clock, it just doesn't seem right to me. But I do have my own house, my own life to go home to.

Funny story - sometimes my current boss hosts poker night for some of her work associates, and I get to play. Last time, everyone was drinking a ton of wine... I stuck religiously to water the whole time. Needless to say - I won some major cash that night!

I think drinking on the job is a really tricky issue. If its allowed, it really need to have some boundaries.

WTF? said...

Oh, hell no! No one in charge of children should be drinking on the job. Period.

I'm a mom and I don't even have a glass of wine unless my husband is home and sober.

Jacqui said...

momkat, there's always a "new" study about yet another thing that's going to give us cancer.
I'm more worried about my liver when it comes to drinking than I am about cancer.

We Americans are kept in constant fear and paranoia on a daily basis.

Regarding this post, a nanny shouldn't be drinking on the job, period. If the children are in her care there is no reason for a glass of wine to be in her hands. If she wants to drink off the clock, a glass of wine with dinner for example, that's fine, but why when she's working? Why should the rules be different for a nanny? I don't know anyone, in any profession, who is "allowed" to drink on the job (with the exception of business type lunches and dinners).

I don't know your nanny, OP, but if she is drinking that much while watching your kids it's indicative of alcoholic behavior. There's no reason for it. It's not anyone's place to pass judgement on an alcoholic, but it is your place to put your foot down when it comes to one watching your kids.

nyc mom said...

chickenslacks,

I did not give her permission to drink alone while watching my child. I was more flexible about her having a drink of wine while we all sat down to dinner together if my husband and I had a drink (which we no longer do as I've since come to agree with one of the moms above that I don't feel comfortable doing it myself anymore even for one drink as the parent). She was 23 or 24yo and German so had been drinking legally since 18yo. She was not a novice and certainly knew her limits. She intentionally got drunk in order to go out and party. I found out later that she also used to smoke while out with our child despite telling us she was a nonsmoker and generally provide very poor childcare. I did say she could no longer work as our au pair after getting falling down, slurring drunk while alone with my 1yo. If the agency felt it was a minor mistake, they could have chosen to place her with another family. However, it was their decision to send her home the next day. As a host family, you do not have that kind of decision making power over an au pair. Finally, I did not ruin her life. She returned home to Germany where she became an elementary school teacher which she continues to do currently (I remain in contact with several of our other old au pairs, one of whom occasionally runs into the drunk au pair).

If you have questions about an anecdote, I'm glad to answer, but making a bunch of nasty assumptions seems rather silly.

SRI said...

In some cultures, a glass of wine with dinner is the norm.

three or four drinks for a nanny? NO WAY! NO WAY ! and one more time NO WAY!

Bee'sKnees said...

I am SAHM. I think I have a relaxed attitude about alcohol, and I feel that 3 glasses of wine is WAY too much. That is enough to make pretty much anyone nice and warmy-fuzzy.

A glass of wine with dinner seems totally fine, but I wouldn't want someone sitting down with my children and just drinking night after night while my kids ate. I wouldn't want my daughter to think that was a healthy thing to do.

Giving her the freedom to drink as she pleases while she watches your children is asking for trouble. I would set some strict boundaries (e.g. 1 glass of wine WITH dinner) or just cut it out completely.

To answer your question: Yes, it is inappropriate.:)

Wicker Park Nanny said...

lushless at work:

I am in the Chicago Wicker Park! What ages are your kid(s)? Mine is an 8 month old boy. I'm always up for play dates if you are interested! We've signed up for one, but it doesn't begin till next month. :(

lynn said...

personally, I don't think it's OK for a nanny to drink while she is on the job because she is being paid to work. Parents are a different story.....they should use sound judgement when they drink and are caring for their own kids. There is no law saying you aren't allowed to have a drink or two if you have a child....and if you were a bit tipsy and took your kid into the ER, by cab or ambulance and didn't drive there you aren't going to get in trouble with the law. Sure someone may investigate the circumstances but if that is all it was, they'd have a pretty hard time making a case against you.

TC said...

My boss always has a ton of liquor in the cabinets and the often drink before they leave in the evening. They allow me to drink and I will occasionally drink a wine cooler but never more than one because I'm always too busy with the kids to be drinking besides the fact that I don't like the drunk feeling.

If you don't feel comfortable with your nanny drinking then tell her. I don't think you are out of line in the least bit.

nannyinmanhattan said...

You should know, that since you're actually asking this question, that drinking on your job, any job, is inappropriate and unprofessional.

nannyinmanhattan

A nanny who cares said...

As a nanny I find this completely inappropriate! I can't believe any responsible nanny would drink that much while taking care of her charges, and it doesn't matter to me whether the children are asleep or awake!

OP: She is being PAID to watch your children and keep them safe! I have never had even one drink while working, even after 8 years of being a nanny and over 10 years of babysitting many late weekend nights! In your situation as you seem to be ok with drinking in moderation, I would condone a glass of wine with dinner and even possibly one later in the evening for a live-in, even though I wouldn't personally feel comfortable doing that while I am working. It's all about setting an appropriate example for your children as well as keeping them safe.

mom said...

I'm thinking alcohol problem too.
I am an occasional drinker and one glass of wine affects me enough that I don't drink unless I am ready to sit down and relax for the evening. One glass is relaxing. Two has me pretty somewhat silly...and three or four...lets just say I don't do that anymore because at three I start saying things I wish I hadn't and at four the clothes start coming off...no matter where we might be (but that's a whole other topic!!!)

If your nanny can handle three or four glasses of wine with no ill effects...which is, give or take, an entire bottle...she's probably an alcoholic. If she's not an alcoholic, she's undoubtedly way too drunk to be in charge of children.

What nerve, really, to drink on the job! Even if you told me it was OK, as your nanny my better judgment would tell me it was a BAD idea. It's like saying "OK" if a parent tells you to go ahead and drive the kids around without safety seats. Duh!

Lushless at work said...

Wicker park Nanny -

I actually watch a 7 year old, so probably not much of a play date! Maybe I could get your aim screen name (if you have one) and we could chat sometime!

I don't know how Jane does that, but maybe if you're interested she could pass our info to each other!

Jane Doe said...

Of course. Send me your information and I will pass it on.

Have the two of you joined the Nanny Watchers group on Facebook?

SF said...

I am a nanny--not live-in--who has, many times, been offered a glass of wine by the parents, after they come home and the kids are in bed. I would NEVER put away 3-4 glasses of wine or 3-4 beers while I'm babysitting, especially on an empty stomach. A moderately thin 30 year-old would be certainly buzzed and unable to drive after that many drinks. Totally ok for the bar, NOT okay for babysitting.

Seriously?? said...

I used to be a nanny and still baby-sit a lot. I would NEVER drink on the job. There is a family I baby-sit for overnight pretty often. Mom made it clear that I could have a beer or 2 after the child was in bed. I just couldn't! I know my limits, but I would never forgive myself if something happened and I was not 100% sober...

That being said, I have had a few drinks with them when I was not responsible for their child!

Wicker Park Nanny said...

Lushless, I am on the facebook group and I sent my info to Jane Doe. I do not have an aim so that won't work, but fb or gmail chat! :)

Well, even though there's a disparity of ages maybe we could show up at the same park or go on outings together and at least have some nanny time! haha.

Hope to hear from you, I love connecting with people in the area!

NannyJ said...

I think drinking on any job is stupid, but ESPECIALLY in childcare. Not a good idea. Not at all.

ATL Nanny said...

I can't imagine anyone thinks that it is okay for a nanny to have 3-4 drinks while on duty. Even someone with a high tolerance would likely be affected enough that their judgment would be impaired and certainly their BAC would be in question were they to need to drive somewhere.

I've had multiple employers offer me a drink while I was working, and I always declined. On occasions when I have been offered a drink after hours, either after work or at a social event when I was not working, I sometimes had one drink, never more because I wanted to remain professional at all times even when I was off the clock. A couple of years ago, I was having a discussion with my then-employer about my partner's law firm, and the fact that every Friday at 4pm they have a small party that is catered by a local restaurant. Beer and wine are available in abundance, and sometimes people get drunk, though generally people seem to have just a drink or two and socialize or continue working. My employer expressed some tongue-in-cheek jealousy, but then told me it would be alright if I had one drink while I was on duty. He knew me well and had seen me drink on social occasions, so I'm sure he felt confident I would not abuse this. I thanked him for his confidence, but assured him I would never feel comfortable drinking while on duty, even if it was just one drink.

I can see why a live-in nanny (who is in the comfort of her own home and doesn't have to drive home, etc) might be more tempted to imbibe. But I still think ALL drinking should be reserved for off-duty hours. If I employed a nanny, I would make sure our work agreement stipulated that ANY drinking while on duty was grounds for immediate termination. I'd rather be upfront about it and draw a hard line immediately, then have to deal with shades of grey later.

Concerned teetotalor said...

I've been in situations with my nanny family where I'm expected to drink such as a birthday party for a member and we're toasting. I do keep it minimal because I'm not much of a drinker and I tend to get a light buzz immediately from the smallest sip. I agree with the one glass or one beer rule. I would never feel comfortable drinking more than one drink in front of my work family in a sitting, and find it odd that this person has THREE DRINKS in one evening. I think that makes an alcoholic. If you're not there, are you sure that's ALL she's imbibing?

cali mom said...

Wow, agreeing with most posters here that she should NOT drink AT ALL while on the clock. I'd say it would be perfectly reasonable if you, as her employers, simply told her that you would like her to limit any drinking she does to her OFF-DUTY hours. I also would never have more than a tiny amount of alcohol if my husband and I were home with our son before he was in bed, asleep, and hubby was drinking anough to be impaired. Someone has to be sober and responsible, period. This is very bad judgement on the nanny's part.

mom said...

Hi Cali,

I've been thinking of you. How is everything going with your husband's employment situation? I hope a good solution has presented itself for your family.
This stinkin' economy has affected so many people so badly. It's really starting to get scary.

Vanessa said...

WHAT? No. While you're working, you should not be drinking alcohol at all. When you're working you should be working. Do any of you parents drink while at your jobs? No, so she should not be drinking either. After she's done she can do whatever she wants ( I used to nanny for a family and was very good friends with my employers and on Saturday nights they'd come home from the bar and we'd have a couple of drinks together and talk) But that's after the kids were in bed and I was done. Ask her nicely that you'd prefer her not to do it while at work.

the non alcoholic nanny said...

Hello,
I would like to offer an update to this situation. I am the nanny involved. Please withhold your harsh words and judgments. Until I saw this post and the perspective of the situation outside of my own, I didn't realize there was an issue.

Let me just correct that the most I have ever had is 3 drinks while still on duty. I do not have a drinking problem.

The worst part of the post to me is that it never occurred to me how awful it was to sit down with the children and not eat with them when their parents are out. As I see it in print, this sounds very cold.

I believe I take great care of the children and I adore the children. I would never want to negatively affect them.

I felt really terrible having come across this post and realizing that I had been doing something, something that in retrospect makes little sense at all, but something that was causing my employer stress.

I saw her on Friday morning before work, while the children were still upstairs and said, 'I was online last night and came across a blog about an irresponsible nanny'. She looked shocked and froze. I immediately expressed to her that I was sorry for putting her in that position and the children and I assured her that I understood her perspective and in the future while sitting for the children in the evenning, I would eat with the children and abstain from all alcoholic beverages. I then said, 'you're not worried that I'm an alcoholic or something, are you' and she said she wasn't.

To anyone who was concerned, no I am not an alcoholic.

And to my employer, I'm smarter than this. I'm sorry.

heather said...

Wow. Has this ever happend before that a nanny saw her own self being described on the blog and wrote back?

mom said...

Good for you nanny. Just for the record though, you're not going to drink any more at all while alone with the kiddos, right? 'Cause even three drinks sounds like a lot when watching kids.
But you sound very mature and like you were very humbled seeing your employer's side of things in print. It shows great maturity that you were able to discuss this rationally with her and that you were not angry at her for writing that.
She was just concerned for her kids. It might have been best, in retrospect, if she had simply come to you first. But then, she probably didn't want to insult you without getting some feedback from others first (in case we all had thought she was overreacting.) And who could have guessed that you would take it so well?
Glad it worked out.

cali mom said...

Hi Mom, thanks for thinking about me :) No, nothing has turned up yet. I've sent out about 55+ resumes with one interview just for a project, and didn't get it, and one response that I suspect was a scam, regarding a project on Craigslist. My husband has applied for several really good jobs and a couple of bonehead ones, and just today got the first rejection letter of his whole life which is very discouraging to us both. He's only once ever even had to submit a resume to get a new job! I've also applied for a couple of bonehead jobs, cause at least they offer a health benefit (we had to cancel my husband's plan so he's now uninsured) and I'm hoping we'll qualify for Medi-Cal because we can't affored to pay the coverage for me and my son, though we haven't cancelled it yet, so we're screwed if we don't qualify. I do have a lead on a local printer that may need someone, and I hope to be talking to them next week, and hubby has gotten a few small handyman projects via Craigslist, but that's it.

mom said...

OH Calimom, I'm so sorry to hear that! This is what I was just talking about on another thread. Highly educated, well qualified people are either out looking for jobs or living on greatly reduced paychecks. This is the time to be grateful for having a job at all. best of luck to you Cali! (Are you amenable to having prayers sent your way?)

cali mom said...

Hi Mom. Prayers are never a bad thing, IMO, though whether they work or not I just don't know.There is no shortage of jobs and p rojects to apply for, at least in my industry, but it's always been a conpetitive fied and nnow it's probably 10 times more so.

mom said...

OK then, Cali. Done. You'd be surprised at what prayer can sometimes do. I know I have been...several times. (Which is why I so fully believe it in today!)

k said...

The family I used to nanny for encouraged me to drink on the job when they did, which was often. I was like family with them after my 2nd summer I would have a few drinks with them often and even when not "on duty". I would never dream of doing this with a different family unless I was as close with them as I was with the mentioned family.

The Truth is COLD said...
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