This occurred on Friday evening @ 5PMNanny: About 30-35 years old. Extremely overweight 250-300 lbs. Long brown hair in a ponytail, light skinned. Wearing a loud red floral shirt, black jeans and white sneakers.
Child: A little boy About 3 years old. Blonde hair, wearing a Red Sox cap, a blue jacket, blue pants, a little Timberlands.
Food Court
While the nanny was stuffing her face and talking on the cell phone, the child asked for his juice 3 or 4 times. She ignored him. He got up from his chair and began to cry, the nanny pushed him back towards his chair, he turned about and hit her on the arm. The nanny dropped her fork and her phone, grabbed the little guy by the arm and slapped the backs of both his hands and said loudly "WE DO NOT HIT NANNY...EVER" Then she handed him his juice. He got back in his chair and began kicking the stroller. She asked him to stop 2 or 3 times, then she moved the stroller, he stretched out to kick it once more and fell off the chair. The nanny told him to get up, stop his crying and behave or she will never take him anywhere again! He said to her "I hate you!" She said that was just fine.
When they started to leave she told the boy to get in the stroller, he did, and she began to buckle him in. He began to scream "NO BUCKLES!!, NO BUCKLES!!" He started to twist around in the stroller and she grabbed him by both shoulders and shoved him into it to straighten him. I could hear him all the way down the hall "NO BUCKLES, NO BUCKLES!!!"
I really don't know what to make of this all, do you? I mean, the kid was being a little bratty, but what about her reaction to his behavior?
Anyhow, I just found this blog about an month ago and was hoping I'd never had to use it. I hope moms do read these postings and do something about them.
27 comments:
The kid was being a little out of control, but the nanny should have handled it better. She shouldn't have been using such force with him, and she should have been paying attention to him in the first place so that he wouldn't have felt the need to act out.
Yes, the kid was obnoxious, but it sounds like he's learned that's the only way to get his nanny's attention. Sounds like this nanny is used to just ignoring the kid so much she doesn't even hear him when he has a simple request like more juice. I mean, if she didn't want him to have any more juice, she should have responded, "you've had enough, how about some water?"
yeah, while i was reading this i kept thinking, the boy is mimicking behavior shown by his nanny. obviously he's being a brat but he's the child and she's the adult. there are plenty of ways she could have handled this better and as a parent i would want to know about this.
This story sounds pretty heartbreaking to me. What a terrible caregiver.
I think the boy behaves like that because of the lack of love and attention. If the nanny were the opposite so would the boy's behavior.
She did absolutely HAVE to buckle him though.
There is no question about that one. Thats just mandatory.
Thanks for posting and welcome to the site.
NANNYINMANHATTAN
OP
Thank you for the Sighting, it must have been very difficult to witness... you were very descriptive and I was able to visualize the scene easily.
I have to wonder why the child seemed to be traumatized by the buckles, but nannyinmanhattan is right, they are necessary. I once saw a child topple out of a stroller when the wheel became stuck in a raised sidewalk. Thankfully, he was so bundled up from the cold he wasn't injured.
Sounds so sad. What a miserable existence for that little guy. Sounds like both people here are terribly unhappy, but the nanny can do something about it - the little boy is trapped. Sad.
OP: my only wish is that you don't use phrases like "stuffing her face" that only serve to hint that you don't like fat people and are passing some judgment on her because of her weigh. Describing her weight is fine, because it is an identifier, but would you have said that a thin, lovely nanny was "stuffing her face?" It just detracts from teh sighting, in my opinion.
Poor kid, I hate hearing stories like this. I hope his parents see this.
While I would never hit or yell at a child, it does sound that he was acting like a complete brat. When a child acts this way I usually respond once, tell him/her that the behavior is not nice, please stop. If that doesnt work I ignore the behavior and will not respond until the child acts properly.
Also, who says that a nanny/parent MUST respond every time a child beckons for something. If she was on the phone (possibly with the parent) then the child needs to learn good manners, that you do not interupt, to be patient and wait for the adult to get off the phone.
Sounds like a case of bratty kid/exhausted nanny.
Funny how she's telling him not to hit while she is hitting him. Lead by example.
He wasn't being a brat....he was asking for his juice, and needed to "scream" in order to be heard. Since that is when she finally gave him the juice, she has taught him this behavior. ie: you must tantrum in order for me to do what you want. This is his conditioning, not brattiness.
The behavior of this nanny is inexcusable.
You do not hit a child, you do not scream at a child and you DO pay attention.
It isn't rocket science and it makes the job a great deal more rewarding, fun and easy.
Someone must explain to me how I am out of a job, but folks like these aren't?
Please.
*sigh*
She seems to have been using to much force with the child, I agree with the others.
While this is a good sighting, I do not appreciate the distain you have for overweight people and how it came through in your post.
I see no problem with anything she did.
What I don't get is if you were that close you didn't get a name or anything?
The kid was obnoxious because he needed her to pay attention to him. I don't understand nannies who talk on the phone while with their charges. How can they focus on a conversation? When I'm working and someone calls, I can't either listen to them or focus on the child/children so it's very frustrating to even talk on the phone. I can't believe some people.
And seriously? Why are people so stupid not to realize that hitting a child because he hit is the most hypocritical thing in the world and does not teach him anything? It actually encourages to believe that when he thinks someone is doing wrong, he should hit. That's possibly what he was doing at the moment.
worlds best nanny,
So you think it fine to grab children by the arm, slap their hands and scream at them?
Whatever credibility you may have imagined having here died today.
all i can say is that i will NOT work for a family of a child that hits me. it just wouldn't work out for either of us, to put it nicely.
Reality check, are you surprised? I'm not.
Cali ahem....."mom"
We don't agree, so that makes me less credible?
You will love your kids until they are old enough to contradict your opinions, then look out below!
Seriously, what a butt-stupid thing to say, world's scariest nanny. You have something very wrong with you inside. All three of my kids are old enough to express their opinions and I love them with all my heart, like any NORMAL parent would.
Oh, and you're not credible because don't appear to have any redeeming qualities as a human being.
I think the nanny was wrong in this case.
Once in a while, I made my kids wait if they wanted something, but I would acknowledge them by saying "Mommy is on the phone, one moment please" Sometimes I make them wait just to make them learn that their wish is not my command. However, there is a difference between taking an opportunity to teach a life lesson and ignoring a child.
I see nothing wrong with the way OP described the nanny. If she is 250-300 lbs, she is overweight. As far as saying she was stuffing her face, I would think at that time of day she was likely eating her dinner.
I have nothing against the way she reprimanded the child for hitting her, I would have done the same. My issue is with the fact that this nanny ignored the child then responded in such a manner only to inappropriate behavior. This sort of response only teaches the child to behave negatively for attention. These sort of people don't know how to use corporal punishment properly. I know the use of this kind of discipline is unpopular with many users here and that's fine, to each his or her own. Nothing anyone says against it will change my mind on the value of it's proper use.
The kid was being bratty because his nanny is negligent and nasty. It sounds like his behavior was a reaction to her indifference.
worldbestnanny, do you treat your charge that way? By defending this nanny, I'd assume you do, or at the very least HAVE in the past. That is why your credibility is shot...not because of a difference in opinions. It's one thing to have a disagreement about whether or not it's ok to hit a child. It's quite another to defend a woman who, according to the OP, was just flat out MEAN and unqualified to care for children. I understand you've taken on the role of the blog's "shocking" nanny..the one who breaks all the rules..the badass FREE SPIRIT...and that's great..I usually enjoy your posts (don't always agree, but I enjoy the different perspective you offer), but I don't think defending this woman's behavior is funny, unique OR shocking...it's just plain ridiculous. You should go back to posting about stealing from your employers and rants about negligent mommies.
World's Dumbest, what are you spewing about this time? What does your imagined "credibility" have to do with your proclaimed approval of a paid caregiver ignoring her charge's needs because she's busy fulfilling her own, shoving them, hitting them to "teach" them that hitting is wrong, and expressing her apathy at the notion of the ch ild hating her?
My son expresses his own (opposing) opinions QUITE frequently and forcefully, does that mean that I should do like you and the fat nanny and ignore him, hit him, shove him, screech at him, and tell him that I don't care about him?
Thanks for the Spanks,
"Nothing anyone says against it will change my mind on the value of it's proper use."
An unwillingness to change your mind regardless of any evidence presented?
The subject doesn't matter, you lose credibility when you make that claim.
Reality, this point was argued to death in another part of this blog. Having been spanked as children myself, my own siblings and all of our children being successful and well-adjusted is all the evidence we need. I've no need to argue the point all over again as I find people against the proper use of corporal punishment to be equally close-minded.
Interestingly and ironically enough I was called all sorts of names by people who advocated calm reasoning and kinder, gentler alternate methods of discipline. Odd that those who called me, among other things, ignorant could not simply agree to disagree on the subject. I also find it hard to believe these same people are able to use calm reasoning when it comes to their own children when they cannot offer intelligent debate but resort to acting like kids themselves.
We're not your mommy.
Wow. I can't believe that needed to be typed out.
I wish you hadn't found what you considered a resaon to use it, either.
*yawn*
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