I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
In the News:
Spanking often coincides with more serious child abuse, Study finds
A study released Tuesday by doctors at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill finds that parents who spank their children with an object - such as a belt, switch or paddle - are nine times more likely to abuse their child through more severe means.
Update: Wednesday Aug. 20
More than 200,000 Kids spanked at School
More than 200,000 children were spanked or paddled in U.S. schools during the past school year, human rights groups reported Wednesday.
(Thank you to the poster that Contributed this Link)
Tuesday
Tuesday August 19, 2008.
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107 comments:
Why is this song posted? This is a site about nannies.
Ah, relax. They play videos all the time.
"If a child gets spanked so often, they just don't care anymore and will misbehave anyway."
This is exactly why I don't spank my children. And those parents I know that do, seem to be having a hard time getting their children under control.
There are just too many other methods of discipline to spank anymore. Thirty years ago, when it seemed to be the thing to do, we didn't have video games and cell phones to take away from them as punishment. And it's true, that gets their attention fast!
Mrs, I think some of your points are valid. I do not agree that all children who are spanked eventually "just don't care and mis behave anyhow"
I have seen children who have never been spanked a day in thier lives, strictly punished with time out's, who are out of control and have no limits or boundaries. I can say the same for children who are spanked.
I truly beleive much of it has to do with the parents approach in delivering the punishment weather it be a spanking or a time out or the taking away of a privalege or gadget.
Just like many things, it can be
"operator defective" if you will.
I think if a child is spanked in anger or with an object, you will get a completely different reaction than with a child who is spanked without either of those.
Just as a child who is punished with a time out in a emotionally abusive manner vrs one who is simply given a time out without all the verball humiliation or dirty looks will respond differently.
As for the alternative to 30 yrs ago, while I get what you mean, I am sure I am mis understanding, but I hope that a child old enough for a cell phone is no longer being spanked.Video games?? I guess, I would think the range of spanking would generally run ages 2-5? IDK, do people spank older kids?
I guess I am old fashioned because our son did not get a cell phone until last year when he turned 16.
So to see anybody under the age of 10 or 12 with a cell phone seems ridiculous to me, and even those ages are pushing it.. JMO
This I am sure will be a heated thread by tonight as it is a widly debated subject.
My daughter has a cell phone, and she is not quite two. But it is a Dora phone and it doesn't, in actuality, work.
I do not spank my child.
Her behavior lately has been atrocious. Perhaps I should start spanking.
:)
Does this moniker-
Unfortunately, kids younger and younger have cell phones. I've seen them as young as 7 yo. But yes, I would hope they'd be too old to spank, however, I still was spanked until the age of 11 yo. So, each parent is different, we don't know what they do behind closed doors.
"If a child gets spanked so often, they just don't care anymore and will misbehave anyway."
Was actually a quote a pulled from the story, but I do agree with it.
And you're right, some kids never get spanked, and their behavior is deplorable, but are you suggesting that perhaps they might need one?
"Just as a child who is punished with a time out in a emotionally abusive manner vrs one who is simply given a time out without all the verball humiliation or dirty looks will respond differently."
True here, too. I agree with you.
Maybe because I didn't just receive a regular spanking when I was young is the reason I refuse to do it. We were made to go out and pick our own switches from the apple tree, or told to retrieve the belt from the parents bedroom. If you ask me, that only added to the humiliation. If I was to get spanked, why not just do it, why make me go and get it?
umass, you are so funny! Okay, so, I guess the Play cell phone is okay! Tee-hee
my daughter walks around with one of those free calculators that we got at a store for buying something? It is round shaped and the top clips onto a belt. She uses it as her cell phone.Poor kid. I have no idea what people must think when they see her talking to daddy on the calculator!
Mrs, I understand what you are saying.
I know that 30 years ago spanking was different.The whole switch thing was Just how parents did it then. And there is an entire generation that believed humility was the chanel through which children learned.
I too was spanked. Not beaten, spanked. I never saw my mother angry except when she found out we were keeping baby mice in a milk carton under one of the kitchen cabinets. She did not spank us but boy did she blow.
Anyhow, my point is my parents always remained calm and cool when we were punished. Looking back they were extremely fair.
My point though, which you touched upon with your remark about "regular spankings" is that I truly belive it has so much to do with how as a parent we react when punishing our child and how our child perceives us.
You are right, each parent is different and we never know what goes on behind closed doors.
I think different things work for different parents.
As for the cell phone thiong, as I said, I am just so old fashioned!! Tee-hee
spanking and beating are two very different things. when an object is used, it becomes a beating. spanking isn't something i think is ever really needed, but i don't know... when i'm a parent i may think differently.
i was beat as a kid, but it seemed that everyone i knew was "get'n it" when we were kids. funny thing is, i know it happened, but i don't see it so clearly as i do the mean things i was told throughout adolesence.
in other words parents, words hurt more. remember that as your children grow older.
Reg poster
I am glad this is something you'd want to give some thought to. I don't think any parent should do it out of anger, because they may lose control and hurt the child.
And I think what you said is very important, that a spanking and beating are two different things, and that when you use an object, it is a beating.
I've never been a fan of corporal punishment. Funny thing, I never got spanked, but when growing up, I wince with pain when I recall getting the paddle at school!
Does anyone even know if they still do that??
I heard that corporal punishment was legal in some states like Florida. Don't know if they do it, but they are allowed to.
You know what I wish? I wish I had been a student at that tv school on the show Boston Public. And that Joey McIntyre, who played the English teacher on that show, was my English teacher and that he would use corporal punishment on me. I wish that would happen because old Joey McIntyre is freaking smokin' hawt. I wish he'd smack me around. Word.
check this article. It's very interesting.
Thank you, Umas!
Ok, I am curious. If spanking isn't the way to go, what are other types of discipline? Or, are there any here that agree that one good swat is alright? My 2 yo is getting to the point of not listening and it's driving me batty. Im trying to have patience, but sticking her in a corner for 2 or 3 minutes doesnt seem to be wotking.I would hate to resort to that, but it;s getting there.
spanking and beating may be different, but both spanking and beating-if applied to an adult (with rights) would be called assault. Because children have no rights in this country, except as owned posessions of parents,what can we do to protect them from sadistic, sexually frustrated adults who lacking chatrooms and swinger mags seek instead to spank their children?
My kids are setting up Monopoly and I have only a moment left...but, ana, I think a swat is acceptable...in the right circumstance...and for something very important...like an ignored safety command, or in the face of utter defiance, as a last resort. (Because some kids test the limits, face it. And there are some times when you have used your biggest gun and the kid is there looking at you like, "Yeah, whaddya gonna do now?")
I think this study mentioned above speaks about child abuse. There is no reason to hit a child with objects for gosh sakes! A gentle swat gets the message across. I used that method very sparingly, so it was something that really made an impression because it was RARE. Kind of like when the meek church lady suddenly shouts a curse word, I suppose! Everybody stops and stares with their mouths wide open in shock.
Somebody also mentioned that kids who are constantly spanked tune it right out and it becomes completely meaningless. I think this is also absolutely true. Kind of like the gutter mouth who suddenly shouts a curse word. Nobody even turns around.
So have fun with the child abuser accusations now. To those who choose that route, I say to you in advance, "Oh brother."
Hi Ya'll! Great blog! I just wanted to say that I don't rekon theres nothin wrong with showin a baby whos boss. You gotto show those youngins that you meen business and if it means you have to knock the cornbread outen they mouths I say do it cus otherwise they aint never going to respect you as the mom.
dot dot
You had me in your first paragraph, yipee. But after that? Just tell me what in the hell porn mags and chatrooms have to do with spanking a child? Are you suggesting that the freaks that indulge in that other crap get a kick out of spanking children?
You, my friend, are out of your fukn mind.
"sexually frustrated adults who lacking chatrooms and swinger mags seek instead to spank their children?"
INSANE!
I don't hold with no pornography, that's the devil's doin'. Chatrooms too: I get all the chattin I want over at the beauty parlor when I get my hair done, and I talk to the girls there, I don't need no chat rooms. If I wanna chat, I just go to confession and chat it up with Jesus. Amen.
if a parent is hitting a child with objects, they're already abusing. it comes as no surprise to me that those parents are more likely to abuse in worse ways.
Article in CNN today about corporal punishment in schools. http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/20/corporal.punishment/index.html
you know, these articles on spanking are getting rediculous.
no matter what people say, there are still kids who need a good smack on the butt sometimes.
and that will never change.
Research this, you're free to skip the articles if you find them tiresome.
I believe the bottom line is, that IF discipline is handled correctly from an early age, a parent or caregiver should NOT have to resort to spanking. And there is NO excuse besides a parent's own emotional issues for hitting a child with an object of ANY kind. If you think there is, you've simply revealed your own issues and parental shortcomings.
Woo-hoo calimom! Research this, maybe you weren't spanked enough as a child. You are really disrespectful. No one is holding a gun to your head to make you read anything.
I hate it when people dog anything informative out here. Maybe you won't learn anything from it, but maybe somebody else will.
oh, Okay!
With all due respect,their is a huge difference between resorting to spanking and choosing to spank.
I find a few remarks on this page rather arrogant.
nynanny..are you reading the same thread as I am? How was research this disresepctful?
An opinion was stated,that was it.
while you and calimom are right that he or she has the right to skip an article..he or she also has a right to comment on that article.So not a big deal.Why dog them out for their opinion?
Ya'll need to start puttin those babies in line, I say. Spare the rod and spoil the little buggers, my meemaw used to say. I don't hold with that psychobabbleonly. What was good for me when I was kneehigh to a potatobug is good enough for my yungins.
Amen.
Janes Addict.
"rediculous." -- Yep, that was the word I thought was "unkind", sorry. Yes, she's allowed an opinion, but so am I. ;)
texmex
I can't tell if your serious or not, but you sure are damn funny.
bigapple nanny!
why, knock me over with a buncha collard greens, thankya kitten!
you are too sweet, godblessya! And you bet your sweetpotato pie I'm serious: serious about raisin them yunguns up right...
nynanny, you think making light of child abuse is funny?
this person is clearly just being a smart@$$, but a there is a large group of american parents who think it's okay to abuse babies and toddlers with objects.
Wait! What are you jumping me for lindalou? I NEVER said child abuse was funny. I said TEXMEX was funny.
Idiot.
oh, sorry i posted that twice. i don't even know how i accomplished that!
***********************************
since i'm posting again, it truly
pisses me off when people cannot take responsibility for their actions. there is no *NEED* to strike a child EVER. it is a CHOICE the parent makes. if you make that choice, OWN IT! don't say the child NEEDED it, like someone MADE you hit them and you had no choice. no child NEEDS to be spanked. that's crap.
my 3 children have very different temperaments and none of them have NEEDED to have parents who hit them. good grief!
"Everybody is calling this kid a brat, but can you understand why and where he must've gotten it from? If dad is such a creep that he won't replace your blackberry, when obviously you say it wouldn't hurt him financially, what kind of message does this send to the child? These must be really crappy parents, and it's no wonder Jr acts the ways he does. In the grand scheme of things, it's not his fault. His parents raised him to be this way."
12:47 PM
Lindalou - just in case you missed it, I'll post it here, too. I do NOT condone any kind of physical punishment whatsoever. So be careful what you say to people you don't even know!
nynanny, i understand your opinion on the topic and we clearly agree.
i just don't see why you're encouraging that texmex person. i don't it think it's funny at all to joke about hitting babies with a switch.
Lindalou, I hear you, and I agree also. However, I was just glancing over what was being said and had focused on the language, and thought that was funny.
Nothing I say or do will discourage texmex about how they feel children should be raised. And you're right, it's probably some kind of joke. And I apologize for calling you an idiot. I was pissed off about your thinking I condoned abuse.
oh, i didn't notice that you felt the need to call me an idiot, nynanny. forget everything civil i said and kindly GFY!
i apologize for telling you to GFY. i think we're posting at the same time. child abuse is a sensitive subject for me.
That is too funny! You did the same exact thing I did glancing over what I wrote, and jumped on me for doing it to texmex, and I was nice enough to say sorry, when you did the same thing?? I still didn't mean to call you an idiot. Hypocrite sounds better! :)
Hahaha! This is too damn funny! Alright! Truce!
Ya'll need more jesus in your life and you wouldn't be fightin like a wet cat who's chokin on a muskrat bone.
Amen.
*hypocrite*?
then
*truce*?
@@
you're lovely.
jesus who?
lmfaoooobuuuwhaaahahahahahaah!!!!
:)
Hey, ONE hypocrite and ONE truce = a GFY! That was harsh!besides, you jumped me first! And it's all so ridiculous because we are on the same page about child abuse! That's whats lovely!
See lindalou! Don't address texmex, you'll just encourage her!
I don't hold with that abbreviation deviltry: what in tarnation does GFY mean? LMFAOhbyubyb??? You young whippersnappers have me bamboozled. Here's one for ya:
A.M.E.N. That's the only one ya need to know, girls! And how!
well, that's not what actually happened, but whatever. you're the one who started in with the name calling and personal crap. not that i expect you to aknowledge that in any way. i'll just sit and await your next insult, i suppose.
I think you both need to grow up!
No, lindalou, I'm tapped out. No more insults. I can take the blame for acting juvenile. What you accept for your behavior is your business.
But, I still say you started it!
Thanks Janes addict! I agree.
nope, not even close to accurate. not that i'm surpised. what actually happened was that you complimented texmex on how funny she was and i pointed out that joking around about child abuse isn't funny. then your name calling started. i didn't realize you'd done that, because i was reading the posts from newest to oldest. don't worry. i don't expect you to aknowledge your disresepct.
jane's addiction, how's about i start calling you names for no reason then you can show us all how mature you'll be about it?
You are extremely self-righteous lindalou. So, if you don't want to carry ANY blame (which I've yet to hear), that is fine too. I'm not thinking we were gonna go out for a cup of coffee anyway. BUT, what pissed me off was you even suggesting that I condone, or "make light of" child abuse.
"nynanny, you think making light of child abuse is funny?" - LL
So. There.
maybe if you don't want people saying that to you, you shouldn't be going out of your way to tell the person who is MAKING LIGHT OF CHILD ABUSE how FUNNY they are, huh?
idiot. :)
OMG, you are such a trippy bitch Lindalou!I already explained to you how that happened. And you should've remembered it because you did the same thing to MY comment! Who's the idiot now?
God, can't let nothing go, can you? You must be so damn bored!
LL,Go right ahead and call all the names you would like. Then,when you are done with your temper tantrum,the rest of us will continue the conversation.The behavior is so predictable.
oh, the irony! (that was for both of you, lololol)
pssssstttt... i didn't *do the same thing to your comment*. we were posting at the same time and i hadn't read your comment yet. i'm sorry all this is so difficult for to follow though...
Jane
Ain't that the truth. I see Lindalou picking a fight with not one, but two posters.
Maybe that should tell her something?
Excuses, excuses.
nar·cis·sist, narcist, noun
nar·cis·sis·tic, nar·cis·tic, adjective
—Synonyms 1. self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.
Yep, that sounds just like you, lindalou.
girls, ain't nothin wrong with little Lindy that a healthy dose a Jesus won't fix. Lindalou, honey, you just remember, regardin those little anklebiters that are most to likely tearin' up your home right now, God made bottoms padded for a reason: spankin' those babies aint gonna harm em none, you just tell em that it hurts you worsen it hurts them and someday they'll understand. Amen.
edie,it's always the same and it never does.
on this thread, it tells me that at least three of you can't read. the fact is, that i didn't say anything disrespectful until i was called names. if you think i'm going to just sit here and accept that, think again. i can take it as good as i give it out, but in this case, i was simply pointing out the truth and i got called an idiot. of course i'm going to defend myself, particulalry when the person doing the namecalling's defense if that she was too fkn stupid to realize that texmex was joking about abusing babies. she could have just apologized and left it that, but then she had to call me a hypocrite, because, again, she didn't grasp the actual situation. sorry, but if you call people an idiot, you damn well better be ready for others to point out your own idiocy. done and done.
Ah am prayin' for ya, LindyLou, I am.
well,LL, maybe just once, you could be the bigger person and apologise and leave it at that. Could you try that just to be nice and smooth things over so we can all get back on track here?
awwwwww, more name calling, nynanny. what a shock. i'm not surprised you needed to look that one up in the dictionary. it seems a bit beyond you, you poor simple thing. now you go back to telling the fake redneck how funny her jokes abut beating children are, while in the next post you talk about how awful it is to spank children :::pat pat::: run along now and try to pretend that you're even the tiniest bit witty or that your arguments make even the tiniest bit of sense.
Don't run away now Lindalou. Done? No, don't be done. You said you could take it.
Chicken!
um, i did apologize for my part and in return i was called another name.
No one else is willing----
I do recall apologising, but then she got ugly again. Oh wait - she's always ugly! Hahahahaha!
nynanny, seriously, can you read ANYTHING correctly? i guess i should have said, :::whoosh:::: and :::whoosh:::
Now Lindy, don't go gettin your HaynesHerWays intoa bunch: I am noway, nohow a fake redneck. I am pure as the day is long: one hunnerd percent true redneck.
amen.
Hey Lindalou, go eat another twinkie!
Texmex funny? About as funny as a hemorroid but not as smart.
you apologized and in the same post called me another name, and it's just continues on and on. want recap since you can't seem to read or recall what you've written?
Lindalou
How many people are you arguing with now? Is that a new record? Unbelievable!
My recall is perfectly fine. I recall you're an idiotic, hypocritical, narcissistic, twinkie eatin' bitch. ;)
sprak, now don't you go jokin' about hemmeroyds, them's serious business. I can't hardly sit in the outhouse some days, mmmhmmm. not a laughin matter. amen.
never mind. i'm done here. any person with half a brain can see what actually happened. i should not have let myself get caught up in this nonsense. sorry for derailing an important thread. child abuse is a very serious topic and despite the opinions of some, joking about it is not in the least bit funny. peace all.
well crap, I have a half hour left while the kids play outside with dad and just wanted to kick back and check out some ISYN ..instead I get to witness LL in the middle of yet another thread war. Wonderful!
I knew I'd wear her out!! LMFAO!
texmess mama
joking about beating babies and children isn't humorous to many people but aside from that, I just find you to be, oh so not funny. Cheers.
Sprak,
I don't think spanking and beating are the same thing. I don't think texmex ever said she approves of beating children.
sprak, spanking and beating are two entirely different things. I am sure someone as educated as yourself can and will acknowledge that.
nuff said.
Indeed,enough has been said and in fact, more than enough stupidity has been spewed in this thread. Still, for some reason, I'd like to knock the cornbread out of your mouth, sydney. And for the ignoramus who never liked me, please don't start now. Let's stay with what works for us both. Cheers!
wow sprak, I didn't think what sydney said was bad. spanking and beating ARE two entirely different things.
Well butter my ass and call me a bisket LOL I had a good laugh over this cat fight.
Thanks Ladies I needed a laugh today.
My Mother had us pick our own switches but being a smart kid I only picked a skinny switch one time. We had our share of spankings and we all survived. I have given a light and I mean a light swat on the back of a well padded butt, more like a tap after taking something away a few times and the child going right back at it again. I have never used a switch belt or anything of the kind on a child . My kids grew up normal and have never beaten their kids or been arrested for anything and neither did my siblings.
I do not believe a swat is a beating. I feel sorry for anyone who had beatings as a kid .
OK bisket, LOL! I do believe, since it seems obvious yet widely not understood, that TexMex is making light of all the ignorant rednecks who DO condone frequent spankings and/or beatings.
Now that we're required to sign a name, could there be an option to ignore certain posters? It seems to work wonders on other forums.
Holy. I just knew when I read this thread earlier today that LL was going to tear into someone and she didn't disappoint. LL is a brat who needs her butt spanked.
I don't know, I think for a change LL got her ass whipped.
She had one coming, that's for sure.
I've seen her pick on too many other posters that as soon as they'd stand up for themselves, or disagree with her, she'd go into attack mode.
And I will say, I've never laughed so hard.
Yeah, I think she deserved this one.
WOW! This afternoon this thread had like 23 comments, didn't it? I am in shock!
Cali mom, I thought the same thing. Texmex had to have been joking all along and like you said, making light of ignorant people (I'm not necessarily going to say rednecks here!) - and how they condone the abuse of children.
Because anyone that does WOULD be ignorant.
I can't be the only one here that is just blown away by this whole thread. It is both hilarious and sad. I felt guilty every time I laughed!
Yes Edie, and I think I should have said she is making *fun* of the ignorants, as opposed to making *light* of them, which is slightly different. In other words, she is mocking their ignorance.
sprak, I found your remark to me was very rude and un-neccesary. Not sure why you felt the need to respond so mean to me? My one and only post directed at you(rather,asked of you) on this thread was at 1054pm.The "sydney white for president" and "theres a difference" posts were not me.Nor were the posts speaking ill of you.Those were some of your other fans.(and mine I guess too)
I was merley asking if you acknowkedged a difference between beating and spanking a child and was in no way rude to you.I was trying to tear away from the garbage and get back into the conversation with someone of intelligence. I now see that I chose the wrong person.Be assurred,I will never address another post to you.
I will chalk it up to the infantile turn that the thread took,maybe you had a momentary lapse,but you went after the wrong person here. Very Rude,really.
Do not ever refer to smacking me again.I did nothing that gives you that right.
Yowza! Looks like texmex's 'roids weren't the only thing raging last night!
I guess I missed a good one this time.
Eh, it's probably for the best.
you still there cfg?
yeah, this got crazy.
I always miss all the good shi****. :(
Hey Umass!
Don't think you missed too much. SOS, different day! tee-hee
true dat, girlfriend. :)
I was spanked as a child growing up. I was spanked with a belt most of the time, but on a few occassions I didn't get the pleasure of a switch. I also received my share of deserved punishments when all the things I loved the most were taken from me and I had to enjoy time in my room. I didn't grow up mean and abusive to other people. I also learned to do what my mother said, and in return, I turned in to a very respectful, fully functional memeber of society. I love my mother very very much, and I don't believe she ever spanked me because she was evil and liked to do it. I think she did what she thought was best at the time and it is so wrong for everyone to generalize and make these awful comments about parents who are only trying to raise their children.
Hey, BLB! Yeah, still around.
It doesn't look like either of us got to play last night! LOL!
Well, Thats okay with me!
I'm going to find a welcome thread..so we can chat!K?
One more thing.....I do believe that some parents are abusive but I don't think that applies to the majority of parents that spank.
Really???, I agree with you completely. Very well said!
It's good to see there are a few out there that are able to distinguish the difference!
Happy posting!
Just so you know, my agreement that "enough had been" said was a response to SidneyWforPres
and my comment about "slapping the cornbread out of your mouth" which I got from one of TexMex's comments:
*** if it means you have to knock the cornbread outen they mouths I say do it cus otherwise they aint never going to respect you as the mom.*** was not meant to be taken seriously by anyone but rather as an example of what I felt was not funny. Also, texmex portraying herself as a dimwitted, poor mother who abuses her children seemed insulting and demeaning to the have-nots. Abusive parents are found at all social and economic levels. Sorry I wasn't more clear.
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