Received Tuesday, August 19, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Okay - can I ask a question about pay and anxiety? I am a working mom with 2 children aged 5 and 3, with another baby on the way. We currently pay our full-time 52.5 hour/week, live-out nanny $1000/week before taxes, also pay our portion of taxes, plus $2200/year medical, $1000/xmas gift, $250/birthday plus other occasional gifts. She has a credit card in our name for ALL expenses. She's babysat for us perhaps twice (with additional pay of course, not time in exchange), 2 weeks paid vacation, 10 holidays, 5 sick days (actually has been more like 15-20). Our two are in preschool and spent the summer mostly in camp. She does their laundry, their cooking and tidying, can use the credit card for all child-related expenses including zoo, meals for all out, home/craft supplies, with a generous weekly limit. When the boys are in school/camp, she's done the food shopping and a few errands. We all get along very well, she's great with my children, we have regularly scheduled discussion times so she can bring up any issues, we think she's great (and so do some local nanny-poachers), we just bought a new car for her/us to drive with the new baby which of course we will gas up. My anxiety is over a few things... 1/she has some family issues (she basically supports her family) and is pushed to ask us continually for more by them and... 2/she lives a LONG way from us by her choice (we've offered to either help her find a place closer, for her to stay over if she's ever tired, whatever she'd like)... 3/she has frequent stress-related sick days/afternoons which I have been supportive of her finding help for... 4/she has asked us to also pay all physician and medical copays... 5/why do I feel guilty sleeping in some mornings and napping some afternoons while she is working even though I'm in my 3rd trimester?