Received Friday, August 15, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I used Nanny-Agency.com. I confronted the mother further this morning and told her I could not stay due to the condition of her house, and she said the house was not messy. She then went on to justify that if it is raining the dogs have to pee and poo on the floor. I kindly tried to explain that I was not accustomed to this and that it was not something I was comfortable with. She then tried to tell me she had told me this happened in the e-mails and phone conversations she had had with me, and this is not true. She threatened to get a lawyer to sue me for the expenses in getting me down there. I didn't have much to say to this as I can't imagine this going very far, there was no signed contract, no written e-mail agreements, and she was providing me with inhumane living conditions. So when I told her my cousin from a few hours away was coming to get me she got very mad at me and said that I was allowing a stranger to come to her house, and she called me a liar (she thought my Dad was coming at first and he was supposed to be on a road trip with my sister) I explained I had not lied and my cousin was coming and she said she was calling the cops to watch him pick me up as she didn't like strangers in her house.
So I called my poor cousin (who has been wonderful and amazing about all of this, especially considering I haven't seen him in years) and he said he would stay in the vehicle and text me when he got there. Finally I got to leave, and the cops asked me a few questions and my cousin too and then we left. I am now safely at my cousins house and awaiting to book a flight home. I've learned a lot, and hopefully if I get the chance to nanny again (which I hope I do, I love working with children and am really good with kids, and have a lot of experience) I will know all the right questions to ask and make it very clear there will be no verbal, written, agreement until I have met them. The mother wanted me to reimburse her for the plane ticket they purchased for me to Mexico, which they purchased before I even agreed to the job, and I gained nothing from this job. I never recieved payment, I got a passport that I wouldn't have needed had I not taken the job, she sent me travel money that I wouldn't have needed had I not been travelling to her, and she bought new furiture for the bedroom that she can still use anyways. But I am safe, and feel better. I feel a little naive and foolish, but I've learned a lesson, and I hope she has too!
Received Thursday, August 14, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
So I had registered with a nanny website and this man called me asking if I was still looking for a nanny position. He told me he had two children, and they ran a company and wanted a nanny/apprentice, it sounded really cool, and he seemed nice until he told me he wanted me to be his sexual bitch. So I politely informed him I couldn't accept but that I thanked him for his honesty. A week or so later a lovely sounding southern woman called me and said she had fallen in love with my profile. We talked a lot and she said she wanted me to come work for her. They seemed really nice, and offered to pay for all of my travel accommodations and also offered to take me on their family vacation to Italy. I said they sounded great but never fully agreed.
The next day I have a travel itinerary for a flight to Italy in my name in my e-mail. I figured they must have misunderstood and assumed had accepted. After talking to them again though I decided to accept. So she booked my flight to their home. She was very friendly and we talked a lot, and e-mailed almost daily. They paid for me to get my passport and also sent me some spending/travel money to hold me off until I got there. A few days before I was suppose to leave I was checking my flights online and found the trip to Italy had been changed to Mexico. Now I was confused. Mind you I didn't take the job to go on the trip, but surely they would tell me plans were changing.
Not true, she then told me she didn't tell me because she thought it was more important for me to spend time with my family and pack before came and not worry about the trip, and that she planned on telling me when I got there. So I was upset, but figured hey they are still good people. I finally arrived after lots of layovers and delays tithe messiest house I've ever seen. Like a bag of garbage on the floor with no garbage can, toys and laundry and other things everywhere, and soon learned that the dogs peed and pooed on the floor, and the pee was not cleaned from the carpets and the poo was left on the floor fora long time. I proceeded to politely say I was tired and go to my room. I called home and cried and cried, I was having a panic attack.
I needed a way out. After fretting all night I realized I had to tell her I couldn't stay. So I went into her room crying and said I just couldn't stay. She seemed OK with it, and said she understood if Wasn't comfortable that I couldn't stay. She said they had planned ongoing shopping and wanted me to come and we could talk more later, Didn't mind as I was feeling better. My dad had agreed to fly me home,my cousin who lived a few hours away was on standby to come get me,and it's not like they weren't nice people. After shopping and lunch and a long conversation with her husband where he was yelling at her,she talked to me in my room for a while while the kids watched t.v.She didn't mention me leaving and we just talked like old friends.
Finally after hours she said "so do you think you want to try and stay with us?" I knew it was coming. I felt bad. She was nice, the kids were great and sweet, but I knew I was not comfortable living in ahem like this, and it was not part of the deal for me to clean up.However they had already purchased a non-refundable ticket to Mexico for me and paid for my passport and all. I feel bad and all, however is it fair for them to not have left me know ahead of time what conditions I would be living in. She had gone on and on about how they loved to travel and always stayed in nice hotels and I guess I just figured they'd have a nice well presented home. No such luck. The dog has already peed in my room (I have to keep the door shut) the dog pooed on the floor and it wasn't cleaned forever (and I'm pretty sure it was just wiped up, no cleaner used). I'm a pretty messy person, and I'm grossed out. The carpets are all stained, and there is garbage and clutter everywhere. I guess I'm wondering if it makes me bad to be leaving? Should I have just dealt with all of this? I mean, even sex guy was upfront about sex, but these people didn't mention their house was messy at all. Also, is it really my responsibility to have the weight of the plane tickets and costs spent to get me here, as I've taken a big risk too, and gone through a lot to get here, and now am jobless, and feel guilty. Please y'all give me some advice.