Monday

They aren't stumbling, but the drink blows off both their mouths...

Received Monday, July 14, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Help. This has been bothering me more and more. I was a nanny for about a year and a half for a very cool family. They treated me well and I was got very close to their children. After I left the job, I weekend babysitting for them for 2 Saturdays a month for a few months. Then my new job picked up. I still wanted to see the children so I would watch the boys here on Friday or Saturday nights or occasionally a Thursday. I live about 5 minutes away and the boys love to coming here. It's easier on me when they coming here and I still get paid. The problem. I have noticed more and more how intoxicated both parents appear to be when picking up the boys. As stated, I live only five minutes from them so by the time they pick the boys up, they only have five minutes to drive, but even so I don't think this good. I can't say anything to them. As far as I see my only choice is to say I will take care of them at their house or that I cant take care of them. I just don't want to be the sitter who hands the kids to two parents that have obviously been in drinking. They aren't stumbling, but the drink blows off both their mouths and their eyes are all red. These are nice people and entertaining clients is part of their jobs. I am not saying bad about them just about how to do this situation. Is there another solution not coming to my mind?

18 comments:

emily said...

I think you need to do your best to let the parents know what you're observing, even if it's only in a passive aggressive way, like saying, "I can bring the kids home tonight if it would make it easier for your entertaining." But, if you really feel that you can't say anything to the parents, I do think that you should not put the children in danger if you can avoid it.

Can you visit the kids at their home occasionally on your free time instead of being their babysitter? When I leave a job I make sure that I spend time with the kids when I'm not being paid for it. I think it makes a statement to the children, even if they have only a minimal understanding about money, that you're their for them no matter what.

You will feel absolutely terrible if these kids were harmed in an accident after leaving your home with an intoxicated parent, so don't hesitate to find a solution.

Marissa M. said...

Next time, call 911 and report the license plate for drunk driving. That should get their attention- and cps's. You would be helping them, trust me.

Anonymous said...

Do you drive? If you prefer caring for them in your home, rather than theirs, perhaps you can offer to run them home for the parents.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you can ask if the boys can spend either friday or Sat. night with you instead of them picking them up ? They could come get them in the AM. If they ask why be honest and say, well I know you like to have cocktails and I am afraid that you will get stopped and then you would be charged with child endangerment and I don't want to see this happen as they will take the boys somewhere and they would be with strangers. All you need is 2drinks to be legally drunk these days and it would be easier for you to not have stop & pick up the boys. This may get them thinking aboutwhat could happen legally if not that they could also have an accicdent and hurt or kill their sons.

Marypoppin'pills said...

I really must commend you for taking notice of something quite a few people wouldn't think much about ... and that's the welfare of these children after they've left your care.
What an awesome Nanny you must be!

I would suggest, since they only live 5 minutes away, asking them to call you when they get home and then you bring the kids home for them so they don't drive while intoxicated with the children.

If that isn't feasible, could they spend the night with you and they can get them in the morning when their sober or could you offer to watch them in their home?

Please step in and do whatever you can to make sure these children are no longer endangered by their thoughtless and irresponsible Parents.

Anonymous said...

If you only live 5 minutes away then just watch them there. If the parents say no then tell them you can't allow the kids to get in the car with them. Simple as that.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the ideas of keeping the kids overnight, sitting for them at their house, or seeing them off the clock when the parents won't be likely to drink and drive.

I also believe that you are putting the kids in danger by sending them off with parents who have been drinking. I would make the parents aware that you have a no-drinking policy. Do not release the kids to them if they have been drinking; let them know you will call a cab (at their expense). Spell it all out before hand so there are no questions when the situation arises.

My other suggestion, if you are suspecting only a glass of wine or other **SMALL8** amount of alcohol, offer them coffee and dessert. This will give them time to metabolize what is in their systems and time for you to judge whether or not they should be driving at all.

Yaya said...

Here's what I do:
I babysit a boy at my house in the evenings sometimes and I tell the parents that if they both feel like drinking, and not watching how much they drink bc they have to pick up their son then I'll bring him home. So I watch him at my house and then go to their house at the end.

kathleencares said...

I agree that the kids should be dropped off by you or you should watch them at their house when the parents go out at night. This will solve the problem for the nights you babysit. BUT what about the other times when the parents drink and drive with the kids in the car? They obviously don't see as a problem so they probably do it when the whole family goes out, or when someone else is watching the kids.
I know it's difficult, but I really think you need to say something to them, especially if it's bothering you this much. I would tell them in a very nice way that you are concerned. I wouldn't get too serious about it because you don't want them to get defensive or feel like you're attacking them.
That is a tough one...good luck!

Anonymous said...

Watching the children at their house is the obvious solution, but it still leaves the parents driving home after drinking, endangering themselves and other drivers. I think you should express your concern about this, hard as it will be.

Anonymous said...

This is a copout way out of it, but the point is to get them to stop what they're doing. I would make up a horror story...something along the lines of: my sister just told me that one of the little boys in her son's class was in the car when his parents were driving home from a family function and the father had a couple of drinks and got into an accident. The little boy will be ok, but has a broken arm.

If you tell them that you'll feel much more comfortable saying that after you heard that story you'd rather drive the boys home yourself.

Anonymous said...

As sick as it sounds, I agree with 8:41. I did the same thing (white lie) about an accident to someone else for a different reason, and it worked.

Anonymous said...

placing a child into a car with a drunk at the wheel makes you an idiot.

Anonymous said...

1:44
C'mon, give her a little credit, she's trying to put a stop to it.
Put the blame where it belongs. At the parents feet. They're the idiots.

Anonymous said...

1:44 PM
The OP is obviously in a difficult situation and wants to protect these children. Calling her an idiot without offering any suggestions is intellectually lazy, not to mention rude.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jane Doe said...

1:47,
I like you idea best of all. Unfortunately, we can no longer allow anonymous comments on the blog and as a result- no one else will get to read your sage advice.

In the future, please click name/url and enter in a name, set of initials or moniker. This requires no registration and takes the same amount of time it does to post anonymously.

(Thank you)

Marypoppin'pills said...

I agree Jane. Hopefully 1:47 will re-post! .... with a moniker.