The "Necking Nanny"

Received Wednesday, July 2, 2008.
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I saw something that I thought should be reported. I was at Russell Pederson Playground which is by the school there in Fort Hamilton. As I walked through the gate at about 6:00 PM yesterday, which was a Friday, I saw a male and female making out. They were making out in such a way that I had to say excuse me and get through the gate. This is not that uncommon at the playground because some older kids and teens hang out there and are at times armorous.
I ignored them and set about putting my child on the swings, her favorite thing to do.
A little blonde girl in a flowered sundress that tied on her shoulders came up to me and asked me if I could swing her. I looked around to see who she belonged to. The little girl was struggling to get on the swing. I put my hands on her to help her onto the swing, not because I wanted to - I don't believe in touching other people's children -but because she was really struggling to get on the swings. This little girl was really cute. I pushed her and my daughter side by side for about ten minutes. They were singing together, a jibber jabby song. I think the girls were about the same age, based on language skill and size. My daughter is 2 yrs. 3 months.
After swinging for ten minutes, my daughter wanted down. The little girl said, can you get me down too? I looked around, no one was looking at us, so I helped her down. She followed us over to the little climbing thing and climbed and followed my daughter around. After a short while, my daughter wanted to go back on the swings. The little girl followed. I again put the little girl on the swings. All the while, I am looking around. I ask her what her name is and she shakes her head back and fourth. I don't press it. I involve myself with my child but the little girl attempts to mimic what we discuss - "doggies".
We are now swinging for another 10 minutes and low and behold a babysitter surfaces by my side. The babysitter says, "she drives me crazy, it's 'swing me', 'swing me'. She seemed really sweet. She started pushing the little girl, but she was the same girl who I had to squeeze past to get in the playground, the same girl who was sucking face with a male right outside the playground. Yes, outside. The nanny is attractive, petite, possibly bi-racial, Philipino, Hispanic and or Caucasian, dark hair, pretty eyes, cute figure, wearing tight jeans, flip flops and a white tank top. I am not a prude but I just don't think this would fly with the parents. It wouldn't fly with me!


Anonymous said...

how on earth do you know this is not mom and dad but a nanny?
My husband will often jet to the park in between jobs and kiss on us and spend as little as ten minutes sometimes..but he knows his priorities and ten minutes at the park is better than no time at the park with his family.
We make out all the time but never lose sight of the babe!! thats what young,happy couples in love do.
Why is everyone so uptight?

Anonymous said...

Well 6:35 I would assume because the nanny was asian and the little girl was white with blonde hair??

Anonymous said...

She's annoyed that a kid wants to swing? What does she think a kid at a playground will want to do??

Anonymous said...

hey 639..guess what? I am a strawberry blonde with casper like skin. My daughter is dark skinned with black eyes. You have no knowledge of families in todays world! In 1930 your post might fly but not in todays world!

Anonymous said... you reaaly think all white babies belong to white parents and all Asian babies belong to Asian parents..or are you just being silly and funnin' us?????

Anonymous said...

Well, unless the baby was adopted, which she very well could have been, the chances of a baby born white and with blonde hair to someone who is asian is slim to none, its called genetics. This is why so many white woman who have children with black men have darker children. ( not 100% of the time but MOST of the time). I still think this was the nanny though, regardless of what the mother and babies race was though just from the sound of what happened.

Anonymous said...

6:39 here, I was being SARCASTIC, duh! LOL

Gowannus Mom said...

Give me a break. In this area, the mommies are white/Italian and that is what the nannies look like. They are mostly hispanic. Please don't be so dumb to think that an OP of a post, probably a resident of the neighborhood does not know the racial make up of the neighborhood.

lauren said...

Absolutely inappropriate. Even if it were a mother. If you want to make out like a teenager in front of your own children, go ahead. (It's pathetic and trite, but go ahead). Meanwhile, my children go to the playground because it is supposed to be the one place where they are allowed to just be kids. They don't need to get caught up in some grope feast!

Upstate Mom said...

It doesn't matter if it was mom, dad or what. The OP described at least 20 minutes during which time she supervised the little girl and could not identify who the caretaker was. That's the point. If she's the mom, poor kid will hopefully not get hurt or abducted. If it's the dad, same goes. If it's a nanny, then the parents will hopefully find out so they can keep their child safer. Twenty minutes is too long to keep your eye off a home, in a park, wherever.

Double J said...

When I was a nanny, between my full-time nanny job and my night-time waitressing job, and my then-boyfriend (now-husband)'s full course load at college PLUS his night-time bartending job, he used to meet me whenever he could find 10 minutes, whether I was with my charges or not. We're HUMAN. Sometimes we need a little more than toddler babble in our day. A human connection (sorry if kissing, or "necking" is unacceptable to YOU) was often enough to help me make it through the rest of a very hectic and stressful day.

anti 11:11 said...

you wouldn't have been my nanny.
My nanny's boyfriend meets up with my nanny when he can, too. But they don't 'neck' like teenagers in front of the children. That's absolutely insane!

Stop excusing the behavior of these nannies. She wasn't anywhere near her young charge. Her young charge was interacting with a stranger. Her young charge was being picked up by a stranger. This is not a good nanny! NOT NOT NOT a good nanny. You got that?

Anonymous said...

11:11, your comment is true but you just happened to ignore the part where the nanny left her charge, a toddler, alone for twenty minutes in a public park where any perverted pedophile could have kidnapped her. I'm a college student, a nanny, and I also have a second job AND a husband who works full-time and attends school full-time and I would never dream of leaving a charge that young alone in the presence of strangers for ANY reason. Suck face on your own time.

Anonymous said...

Mother, nanny, babysitter, cousin, auntie, god-mother basically Whoever! No leaving children in the park alone. PERIOD. Who cares who belongs to who and the ethnicity of the whole situation. The child was abandoned in a public area which is known for predators and this is just neglect.

Problem is nothing can or could be done in this situation. Good on you for playing with her and making her day a little brighter lady. I am guilty of playing with children who are basically left to do their own thing in parks. I mean we all look out for children in general. Sometimes I notice that nannies, mothers etc etc will let me do that because they just do not give a damn. This bothers me but, hey that is my nature for children who you know just do not have a good life going on.

We should charge park playing fees for these people. Can you imagine when that woman returned and you quickly pulled out a scribbled invoice and said;

"Hi I hope you had fun over there because that just cost you $20 or I could call the child safety department and say you left a child in the playground unattended. Your choice"!

If she was the nanny just say;
"Well listen girlie you just lost an hours pay and I need to to know the parents name immediately"!

I hope you know I like to bring fun into these sad stories.


Anonymous said...

You do not leave a child alone so a stranger can take care of them to make out with your man!

This was clearly a problem.

Anonymous said...

Not a good nanny.
Not a good mom.
Nice lady for helping out this child.

Anonymous said...

Erm you are working!!!!!!! You are a professional. I am not sure why you are doing a full time nanny job and a late night waitressing job. They do not go together. Fact is your personal problems should never come into the job. You and your then boyfriend now husband needed to work out something else. Only in the world of nannies would this comment come up and even be questioned. It is ridiculous. This is not appropriate who cares if you are lonely. You are working with children. If I want my other half to join me not only do I discuss it with the family I ask them if it is ok. And frankly it is all very appropriate.

The last time I was kissing anyone on the job was when I was 15 and the child was fast a sleep in bed. AND I knew that it was not right.

I am a nanny and I would kick your ass if I was a mother and this happened. Being fired would be the least of your problems. I would certainly blacklist you for neglect and subjecting my child to this.

Anonymous said...

I was at a park yesterday (I am a nanny) and ended up watching a little boy (couldn't have been more than 3 y.o) for almost 2 hours while his mom looked the other way and occasionally looked to be napping.

Apparently the playground is a great place to go to get someone else to do the childcare!

Anonymous said...

Oh please, back in the day we my mom dropped us off at the playground and came back in hours if we were lucky. We were 2's and 3's. Kids are so BABIED now. So sick of nannies and moms HOVERING over kids. So they get sand in their mouths, so they fall off a swing, it's called GROWING UP.

gretna green said...

this is in BROOKLYN. Have you ever been to Brooklyn? I think someone was SHOT DEAD at that playground a few months back. I suppose your interpretation of life suggests that for a child to witness cold blooded murder would be educational.


UmassSlytherin said...


Your mom left you guys at the park alone for a real long time when you were 2 and 3 years old?



I'm sorry.

Anonymous said...

One bad parenting decision does NOT justify another's bad parenting/child supervision by a nanny! Come on, here already! Neglect is neglect!

i found this on the bay ridge rover said...

Wednesday's stabbing of a student at Bay Ridge's Fort Hamilton High School and the ensuing response by police, in what was an overwhelming show of presence, puts front and center one of the most underplayed and orphaned causes in Bay Ridge's ongoing fight to improve quality of life - Fort Hamilton High School and the Russell Pederson playground.

The playground and handball courts are a favorite year round recreation destination for folks all over Brooklyn - particularly students of the Shore rd. high school - all except those actually living in Bay Ridge, according to residents of the surrounding area.

One frequent playground-goer saying: "I can't believe I have to get stared down by some punk High School kid when I ask him if he would mind moving, so my kids can use a swing... I mean what's going on here? The playground is totally overrun by older adolescents, it's very unsettling to be there at times with small children, especially when [Fort Hamilton] high school gets out."

Anonymous said...

Why are you taking your charges to a playground that SOMEONE WAS STABBED AT?!

And, 1:02, when you say "You do not leave a child alone so a stranger can take care of them..", that's exactly what you are doing the first time you leave them alone with a new nanny (and the second time, and third time, etc...). But then that's so YOU can go do YOUR thing, so I guess it's OK.

chick said...


Did you have to walk uphill, in the snow, with no shoes on as well?

If your mom did actually leave you at the playground as a 2 or 3 yo, I feel very sorry for you, and I also hope you eventually realize how neglectful that was.

Of course, if this was in a one stopsign town where all 75 people knew each other and minded each other's business, I guess that explains why you survived that sort of treatment.

Anonymous said...

We check our Nannies backgrounds and references. We don't just hire someone off the street. We interview people do police checks.
We also spend time with the nanny and the children before we leave them with our children.
It is plain that you have never had a nanny so you have no idea what you are talking about.

Anonymous said...

6:35 you need to grow up. You make out in public all the time while "keeping an eye on your kids"? Get a room and a baby sitter.
I see men and women kissing their kids at the parks but I have to see a couple making out and making a public display of themselves unless they are teenagers.
People are not uptight, there is a time and a place for everything,and if you are in a park with your kids you should be watching them and not have people wishing you would just get a room.

Anonymous said...

6:39 we are a mixed race family too. You need to open your eyes to the modern family honey! You must be one of those "Mormom Nannies" come to the big city for some edu-macation. haha.

Anonymous said...

What has her religon got to do with this post.? 6:39
If anyone needs an eduxation it is you.
I live in the Bay Area and many Asians her are mixed races . I have yet to see one with blonde hair.
The OP was not being racist she was giving a description and a reason why she thought she was the nanny.

Anonymous said...

448 are an ass!! No body claimed the op was being racist. Just that you are an ass for thinking all babies and mommies must have the same skin tones and eye &hair colors to be a family!!
Freakin' moron!!!

Anonymous said...

There was a time when maybe a child could of been left to be guarded by the community. I can remember my father leaving me in a park while he ran on the track very close by in eye shot.I was 10-12 years of age and there was always a teenager who was kind of in charge of the park. My mother on the other hand would never let me out of her sight to the point of making me miserable right up until this age. I think about it now and realize it was very common back in the 70's to do this. Everyone kept an eye out.

These days you cannot trust anything!

mpp said...

For those that are curious:

What The Numbers Mean

The nine-digit Social Security number is divided into three parts. The first three numbers
generally indicate the state of residence at the time a
person applies for his or her first card. Originally, the lowest numbers were assigned to the
New England states, and the numbers grew progressively
higher in the South and West.

However, in recent years, this geographical relationship has
been disrupted somewhat by the need to allocate numbers
out of sequence to certain growing and populous states.

The middle two digits of a Social
Security number have no special significance, but merely serve
to break the numbers into blocks of convenient size.

The last four characters represent
a straight numerical progression of assigned numbers.

SSA has issued about 365 million Social Security numbers, and about 10 million new numbers are
assigned each year.
But even at this rate, there
will be no need to reissue the same numbers, revise the present system, or devise a new numbering
system for several generations. For this reason, SSA plans to
continue using the nine-digit number.

mpp said...

Posted in wrong thread. 4:44 was meant to be for "Father warns others about ex-Nanny".

Nanny Lauren said...

I'm a nanny and full-time student and my fiance is a police officer who works weird hours in addition to taking part-time classes. He definitely comes by when I'm at work if he has a few minutes, sometimes he even spends the day with the kids and me... But there is no reason for us to make out in the park, at the zoo, or even at the children's house while I'm on the job. It's unprofessional.

Anonymous said...


Too much info. This is not the anon@3:21 show.