I saw a nanny today act out of frustration when trying to discipline the children she was taken care of. These were two siblings, a boy and a girl. The boy had long hair for a boy and the girl had short hair for a girl and they were close in age; about 3&4 years of age. Both of them had dirty brown hair, tanned skin and green eyes. They were obviously siblings. The little girl was wearing pink cargo shorts. The boy had on a blue Spiderman t-shirt that had a plastic textured print on it. The nanny grabbed the girl by one hand when she wanted to leave. The children didn't want to leave. The nanny roughly had the girls hand and then arm and tugged at the boy. He waved his arm at her and she reached up and swatted him on the bottom. She didn't swat him hard but he said something back to her, like "your bad". She reached up and swatted him again harder and grabbed him around the waist and pulled him down. She led him away from the playground by holding the collar of his shirt and holding the girl's forearm. Both children were whining and crying. The nanny was Hispanic wearing leather flat shoes, tan pants and a tan and white floral blouse. She had reddish/brown hair that was curly and was about 45 years of age and 5'5", 150 lbs.
Thursday
Madison Square Park in NYC
Received Thursday, July 10, 2008
I saw a nanny today act out of frustration when trying to discipline the children she was taken care of. These were two siblings, a boy and a girl. The boy had long hair for a boy and the girl had short hair for a girl and they were close in age; about 3&4 years of age. Both of them had dirty brown hair, tanned skin and green eyes. They were obviously siblings. The little girl was wearing pink cargo shorts. The boy had on a blue Spiderman t-shirt that had a plastic textured print on it. The nanny grabbed the girl by one hand when she wanted to leave. The children didn't want to leave. The nanny roughly had the girls hand and then arm and tugged at the boy. He waved his arm at her and she reached up and swatted him on the bottom. She didn't swat him hard but he said something back to her, like "your bad". She reached up and swatted him again harder and grabbed him around the waist and pulled him down. She led him away from the playground by holding the collar of his shirt and holding the girl's forearm. Both children were whining and crying. The nanny was Hispanic wearing leather flat shoes, tan pants and a tan and white floral blouse. She had reddish/brown hair that was curly and was about 45 years of age and 5'5", 150 lbs.
I saw a nanny today act out of frustration when trying to discipline the children she was taken care of. These were two siblings, a boy and a girl. The boy had long hair for a boy and the girl had short hair for a girl and they were close in age; about 3&4 years of age. Both of them had dirty brown hair, tanned skin and green eyes. They were obviously siblings. The little girl was wearing pink cargo shorts. The boy had on a blue Spiderman t-shirt that had a plastic textured print on it. The nanny grabbed the girl by one hand when she wanted to leave. The children didn't want to leave. The nanny roughly had the girls hand and then arm and tugged at the boy. He waved his arm at her and she reached up and swatted him on the bottom. She didn't swat him hard but he said something back to her, like "your bad". She reached up and swatted him again harder and grabbed him around the waist and pulled him down. She led him away from the playground by holding the collar of his shirt and holding the girl's forearm. Both children were whining and crying. The nanny was Hispanic wearing leather flat shoes, tan pants and a tan and white floral blouse. She had reddish/brown hair that was curly and was about 45 years of age and 5'5", 150 lbs.
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53 comments:
These children are old enough to listen . When told "lets go" they needed to go. As you stated yourself, the nanny did not hurt these children. Who of us does not occassionally get frustrated when our kids do not mind?
She acted just like any normal mom or nanny would react when kids mis behave.
No one should hitting anyone else in this world--period! There are MUCH safer, more effective, and kinder ways to discipline children. This is inexcusable! Thanks for posting. I hope the parents see it.
as a nanny I was asked to swat my charges on the butt if they were not listening. Everey parent is different. Perhaps the nanny is following mom & dads instructions.
She is outside at a park, no doubt in her neighborhood, She is well aware she is not alone and that what ever she does while out in public may get back to mom & dad.
Bye the bye a swat on the but is not abuse! Relax PCER"S
In my opinion, it seems completely inappropriate for anyone to hit someone else’s child. I find it hard to believe that the parents would approve of this. Hopefully this story will get back to them.
It's never ok to hit a child.
There are too many other ways to discipline.
Kathleencares, believe it. When I used to babysit a lot, a handful of the parents ENCOURAGED me to spank their little ones if they got out of hand. I never did, but if I had, they would have been OK with it.
For the parents who feel they have a right to come onto this blog and act as if they know my children..guess what? not all children respond to time outs or threats of losing a favorite activity or toy. I have 3 children. 2 of them the oldest and the youngest respond beautifully to time outs. My middle child does not. We have tried various methods of discipline..finally we tried spanking, the last and only form of punishment we had yet to try.
It worked! Now, my once very unrul middle child, listens and does as he is told. We no longer have the long drawn out power struggle or miserable outings due to behavior issues.
Not all children are the same.
I have never spanked my other two children, I have never needed to.
Please stop being so judgemental..some parents have no choice but to spank.I have seen other parents whose children obviously do not respond to time outs either and theybrefuse to spank.. and I am so thankful that for me and my son, life is no longer like that!
The nanny did not turn the child over her knee and pound on him. She gave him a swat and he may be a problem child and has to get a light swat to get him to behave.
There is a big difference between a swat and a slap .
Making such a big fuss over a swat is silly. I would think that the parents know they get a swat now and then as I am sure the kids tell them since they are older.
Not every one thinks a swat is child abuse. I am sure most of the posters in here also had swats as they grew up if not more and it seems that ya'll turned out pretty darn good.
I was spanked as a child, I don't think there is anything wrong with an occasional spanking.
www.nospank.net/pt2007.htm
i don't spank my children and if i ever found out that a nanny or sitter did, i'd probably not only fire her, but i'd call the police. OP, you were right to report this.
and to the mother who said she was *forced* to spank her middle child. what a load of hogwash. YOU made a choice to hit your child. OWN it like an adult. don't blame your child's temperament for YOUR actions. btw, there have been studies that show that more difficult children are the ones most damaged by spanking and also the ones most likely to end up being abused. what happens when your magic bullet no longer works? do you spank harder? grab your belt and turn yourself in to a monster?
i highly recommend the book The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki for those with challendging children. it was my bible when my difficult one was a tot (she's a typical 11 year old now).
I've been a nanny for 13 years in 3 different cities working with all different ages of kids with all different kinds of temperaments and I have never found it necessary to resort to physically punishing/swatting whatever you want to describe it as. If a parent told me to discipline a child that way I would have to quit the job before I would resort to doing that.
well lindalou I am so glad to know you are aforemost authority on children and spanking.I am also glad to know that YOU know every one else's children as well as your own!
LL..next time you want to call someone names..pick a different person!!
Anon 5:12 here.....
you have NO right to judge me or call me names! You do not know my family or my son and you most certainly have yet to show me any credentials that would make me feel you are anywhere near being qualified enough to make judgement calls about parents and children!!
Stick to Insurance claims..that is about all you are qualified to do!
I'd call you a name but I am sure that has already been done today,afterall, the sun has already risen!
LL maybe a spank would do you some good. Maybe you would think twice about being such a bully to everyone. Have some respect and stop being so f-ing rude.
i don't know why but i have the feeling those kids needed a good hard smack on the bottom. just a feeling.
calif nanny here,,,,I cant tell you how many times I have dragged my 2 boy charges out of parks or indoor play areas, sometimes while they are crying or flailing about. Have I swatted their butts, no, but Im sure people think what is going on? ....they are acting like kids thats whats is going on. No one sees that once in the car with my kids cd in singing away, they are happy as clams.
OP didn't just describe a swat on the butt here. She described this person handling the children roughly.
The main point of this post is, do the parents know their nanny is treating their kids this way. I bet they don't and if they did they'd be outraged. Then, again, plenty of people on this board apparently think it's fine, so who knows?
i'm sorry some of you can't read. maybe if you were more confident in your parenting, you wouldn't feel threatened when someone tries to simply make you own your own actions, instead of blaming them on your child.
Yes LL, and the old "you MADE me hit you" line is a textbook example of the rationalizing used by domestic abusers. (You know, those family members who hit other family members.)
But no worries LL, you are just being attacked by the angry anon one who has been stalking me all day. And now I bet she'll be spitting mad at how "all the regulars just stick up for each other" and "she gets attacked every time she posts".
calimom, it's ALWAYS that same person. the one i refer to as *the anonymous jackhole* (now that, my dear jackholio, was an example of NAME CALLING, unlike my other post on this thread, wherein i called you absolutely nothing and recommended :::gasp::: a book.)
calimom & ll..you two clowns are made for each other!
thank you so much, anonymous jackhole! calimom is awesome! :P
all i can say is, i think things are going to change.
we are now in an era where people are afraid to touch kids roughly when they behave poorly. i think this is a reaction to the strict authoritarian stile of raising children of our parents' generation. maybe too many of us were spanked as kids and now we want to go the opposite way and not spank at all?
there is a difference between spanking and abuse and we can't see it anymore. i think many new, young parents are going to get sick of this fear to give good old fashion smacks on the butt.
and if you think the nanny needs to keep hands off, well, that's only to protect herself. but who knows that kid better than the nanny?
I agree,,the nanny and the parents need to decide. Everyone else needs to MTOBeeswax!!!
If you don't want to spank your child, don't.
If you want to try and "reason" with a toddler..go for it.(the age of reason is 8)
If you want to convince yourself that your 2,3 or 4 yr old understands or comprehends why you have sat him down for 5 minutes..go for it( delutional)
But mind you own business when I spank my child. I am not breaking any laws, I am not abusing my child according to any laws and if and when it ever becomes ilegal, I will still spank my children.
If you disagree with what I am doing, call the cops. They will laugh in your face when you tell them "that woman swatted her child on the butt and grabbed him by the arm when he refused to leave the playground"
To the bone heads using terms like"forced me to hit you"
hysterical..that is really the only word that applies to you
And not in a funny way.
It is none of your business how I choose to discipline my child
when you chose to strike your child in public, in front of me and my children, then you just made it my business. what gives you the right to expose my kids to your ickiness? damn right i'm going to speak to my kids about it, probably in your presence, in order to counteract the effects. i'm not going to let them think that sort of behavior is okay. it's unbelievably rude and humiliating your to your child. i'm going to pass my own ethics and morals on to my children whether you like it or not.
Damn skippy, lindalou! Thank you for your post.
Lindalou. You talk to your kids til you are blue in the face sweetheart. I would never dream of telling you how to raise them or what morals to instill in them..just leave me alone while doing so and I will do the same for you!My kids..my rules..your kids..your rules!
Well, MY rule for MY son is to make sure he understands that anyone who takes such great delight in smacking, spanking, swatting or otherwise hitting small children and brags about how powerful it makes them feel to inflict pain on helpless toddlers is one sick, f*cked up a**hole who should never have been allowed to have children, and that the reason that person is so mentally unstable, violent and sadistic is because they never learned how to properly communicate or give or receive love, and that they will probably end up in jail someday because they like to go around hitting people.
Calimom ,you really are special.
Thanks 123am
I was going to talk about how people can really twist things around when it comes to spanking versus true child abuse,but you saved me the trouble. You rock sister.
Thanks, I've always thought so.
***smile***
you say CM twisted things around, but you can't see how jackhole twisted things so she could lie and say i called her a *monster* and *abuser* when what i actually did was ask her a question?
LL Please do not backpeddle.
You do this often. Your question was rhetorical and implied the use of a belt. That would put any mommy or nanny in a defensive mode.
It was not nice. I am sure you can see that can't you?
why do you think lindalou backpeddled? i didn't get that- -
Just ..... let it go. Not worth it.
why imply the use of a belt or use words like monster?
It just sets people off.
Most normal people would be upset by that remark.And most certainly any parent, who spanks, would take offense to you using those words in reference to "them" spanking their child. You must have known that when you posted it Lindalou.
You are not a fan of spanking, so ofcourse you feel ill towards those who do it. That is only normal and you should stay your cause. The post though would anger a parent who spanks and I am sure you knew that when you posted it.
Come on? We all knew it as soon as it was posted.
lindlou..not trying to be as argumentative as I may be coming across.
I better stop and come back tomorrow when I am not so sleepy.
it seems like there was lots of miscommunication here and that made problmens- - and as for spanking i am not a fan i hate to judge anyone else on it though unless they actually abuse the child
WOW, anonymous1..you rock. what a wonderful attitude. Very honest.
It is often hard to remain so objective on such a sensitive and passionate subject.
Have a fabulous night!
eh. i think jackhole took is personally because she does use a belt. otherwise she had no reason to feel insulted. yeah, that's abusive. spanking is swatting with an open hand, not whipping your child with a piece of leather. people who condone that crap aren't worthy of my respect and won't be getting it. if they feel upset, tough sh*t.
LL I have a hard time believing you're kind to children like you claim when all you do is boss everyone around here on this board. You have no respect for anyone and quite frankly I'm sick of your attitude. Continue to play the I'm so good with children card but I don't believe it for one minute. Your cover is blown.
I don't post often like this, but I have to say Lindalou, you have an edge of cruelty to you, too. You're just as bad as you claim these anonymous posters to be.
Yes, you do have some good points of veiw and sometimes I agree with your opinions, but when there's trouble on board, you like to continually stir the pot. You don't ever know how to let anything go. You not only fight with the flamers, but you also bully the other posters that do nothing but come on innocently commenting, and if you disagree passionately, you get abusive.
I'm starting to not enjoy your comments so much when you act like that. The poster that you badgered so much last week is not likely to be forgotten by many others either.
I am really sick of hearing the word "jackhole", it is so obnoxious! I'm beginning to think that poster ain't so bad compared to lindalou.
Seriously. I hate when people have one catchphrase that they use over and over again. I also hate when people get all holier-than-thou and think they have any right to involve themselves or comment to another parent regarding the way they are raising their child. Spanking on the tush with an open hand is not abuse. Would I spank a child? No. But I'm not about to go get involved in someone else's business that way, especially when I know that millions of kids the world over have been spanked and grown up into perfectly fine, respectable, wonderful adults. People really need to chill. Lindalou and Calimom can keep loudly explaining to their kids in front of the "offending" parents about how sick they are for abusing their child and whatnot, but they are not allowed to complain if the "offending" parent decides to then give them a very public verbal or physical ass-kicking.
We try to teach our children not to bite, hit and kick each other and their playmates. And so we don't bite, hit or kick our children. We try to teach our children to eat healthy, so we eat healthy. We teach them to say please and thank you by saying please and thank you. We respect them and they learn the value of respect.
If a woman in CVS accidentally bumps in to me, do I have the right to spank her? Gently on the tushy? Just so she knows I mean business?
I don't know. That sounds like assault to me. If you can't do it to a 200 lb woman, why would you do it to a 17 lb toddler?
All this talk about discipline is ridiculous. You don't have to spank a child. All you have to do is take away their Harry Potter Legos.
Then they'll know you mean business.
Thank you Jessie. That's the most sane comment of the week.
Ah, we've missed you around here the past day or 2 UMass. We had gotten so used to you being close by! :)
How ya doin'?
Why thank you, that's too kind of you to say.
I've been trying to cut down on my internet time, you know how it is.
Hope you are well!
Ah, live a little girlfriend! lol Use all your free time here!
We need a little respite from all the 'crazy makers'.
You can't spank a woman in CVS who bumps into you because she's not YOUR child! That was a horrible example. You wouldn't spank a child who wasn't yours, either. You can't discipline other adults...it's not like you could send an adult who did something you didn't like to their room or give them a time out either.
Anyone who annoys and takes on the flamers like Lindalou totally rules. The others should have their kids (natural or babysat) taken away from them without even time for a goodbye. This is whether they're pro or anti-spanking.
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