Saturday

Sending the good nanny off right...

Received Saturday, June 14, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
1)Question for Parents who employ nannies or for nannies who have moved on from one family to a new job? What happens when your nanny left? How did you send her off? Is there a gift involved, money or some other token of appreciation? Or do you just say goodbye at the end of the day? (side note--this is a nanny that you have loved and welcomed as part of the family, who is leaving to begin a new chapter in her life, or at least that is our situation and we don't know what to do!!!)

An additional question for "Sending the nanny off right"
What is an appropriate, meaningful gift for the nanny to give the family? The family I work for is moving away but they have been great to me and I want to show them I appreciate them.

90 comments:

egan said...

Always give a picture of the children in a frame. Doesn't have to be a fancy frame. And a gift is always nice. If you can swing it, not everyone can. When our live in nanny of four years left to move in to her own place and work a job at a newspaper, we gave her a necklace, framed pictures of each of the children a nice amount of cash as a bonus/thank you for everything. I realize not everyone can do that and I realize most nannies don't deserve that, but ours did.

PS I really like this blog.

Anonymous said...

I think a nice amount of cash- maybe a months pay would be a nice gesture- especially if this girl was like part of your family.

Kaitlyn said...

While we're on the topic- I'm going to be leaving my employers soon (well, technically they're leaving me and moving 5 hours away). But they have really been great to me and I'm (hopefully) taking a job with some friends of theirs. What would be a nice, appropriate gift for me to give them to say thank you?

Anonymous said...

egan,
why do you say "most nannies don't deserve that?" That sounds a bit judgemental to me.

mpp said...

A nice hand-written card, letting her know you really appreciate her. A little gift, as said above, like a picture of the kids in a nice frame. And if you can swing it, anywhere from at least 2 wks. to a months salary bonus.
You don't say how long she was with you, but you do state that she was very close with your Family.

Also, if she's going to continue to Nanny (you say "new chapter", but don't specify) ... you could give her a nice letter of recommendation. (Which you might want to do even if she doesn't continue to Nanny, it's still a reference and it's always good to have letters of character on hand).

You're very kind for asking what you should do.

TXNanny said...

When my last employer decided to stay at home and be a mommy I received a 50 dollar visa gift card and a wonderful hand written card telling me how much they appreciated me.

I didn't expect it and when I am no longer needed as a nanny with my current job I don't expect anything either though I would like another hand written note.

Anonymous said...

TX Nanny-
With all due respect, $50 seems like a slap in the face.

Anonymous said...

Although I don't think Txnanny took it that way, as she seemed grateful, I have to agree.
Maybe the employer couldn't afford more, who knows.
But Txnanny probably appreciated it because she wasn't expecting anything.
Somethings always better than nothing.

TXNanny said...

She could afford more (her husband is a head honcho in a pharmaceutical company) but I wasn't raised to think I deserved anything especially a parting gift from an employer.

I am still pretty close to the family and even though they moved 1000 miles away I still talk to them almost daily and will be visiting them in a few months.

Anonymous said...

You're a nice person txnanny.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Ouch, Egan. That's harsh. I'd prefer to see the glass half FULL...I think MOST nannies do "deserve" that, as you put it...However, I tend to agree with txnanny...I wouldn't expect anything as a parting gift except maybe a handmade card from my charge or something...And that's not even an expectation, just something nice I could take with me. So a 50 dollar Visa card seems like a nice gesture to me.

It's interesting to learn that nannies get "parting gifts." That's definitely a nice gift from what I would assume to be nice employers.

I like mpp's idea about the letter of reference. Send her off with nice words and praise, definitely a picture of the kid/s and if you feel so inclined, I guess money?

mom said...

Wow, the second round of applause I get the pleasure of giving today!
Txnanny....you sound like a wonderful person with a great set of values...and an ability to "appreciate" rather than "expect."

I am especially pleased to see your comment in light of the financial situation you have said these people have. So many people seem to expect that because an employer "has so much" or "can afford it" that they somehow deserve a piece of the windfall to blow their way. Why is this? Although I have never been a nanny, I have had bosses who were wealther than me. (Duh...that's why they hired me, instead of the other way around?) I never expected them to share it with me beyond my agreed upon compensation. I sort of assumed that if they were in a gift giving/trust-fund-setting-up mood, it might be more appropriately directed to ...oh, I don't know...their actual families?

Anyway TX Nanny...I find your attitude commendable. gee what the world would be like if everybody was so gracious!

TXNanny said...

Mom, I was raised here in the south where I am not alone in my thinking. My grandmother taught me to be polite and be gracious.

Funny story, when I graduated high school I didn't know you were supposed to get gifts. I really thought you sent out the announcements just to tell people you graduated and invite them to attend the ceremony. I was dumbfounded when I started receiving all the money.

In all honesty I HATED her when I was the nanny, she treated me like crap. She agreed on certain holidays off then reneged on them, and some how my no chores just watch the baby turned in to doing the laundry and the kitchen and watching the other child and taking care of the dog and doing errands....... I was looking for a way out while still remaining friends because of the children.

Anonymous said...

I worked a temporary job for a couple of weeks. Helping with a toddler and around the house. Just working for those few weeks they gave me an extra $50.00. Which I didn't expect either. They were an average hard working family.

Texas nanny did they give you advance notice they wouldn't need you? I am assuming they did. Just curious.

Anonymous said...

Oh geeze, and your still calling them everyday? Thats strange to me. But I guess you loved the kids.

If she added on extras while working that wasn't agreed upon, you should have raised your rate. And from your latest posts sounds like you deserved more than $50 to put up with their crap.

I know you mentioned visiting them. Just make sure they don't try to pass the kids on you for your whole visit. They will probably still treat you like their hired help.

TXNanny said...

Yes she gave me 2 weeks notice, she worked in the same pharmaceutical company as her husband and she was laid off so she still had things to do and needed me for those 2 weeks.

I now work for her best friend (who is NOTHING like her) and because of that and the fact that the 2 children are 5 weeks apart and they lived across the street from each other I still saw them daily and we would do things with all the kids and sometimes I even volunteered to take all the kids myself. She was and is wonderful as long as you don't work for her.

The agreement is they fly my boyfriend and I up there, we stay at their house along with my best friend and her husband and one day I watch all 3 kids (the family I nanny for now is going too) and the next day I am free to do as I want and I will have access to her SUV. They now live up north in a suburb of a very big popular city so I think the trade is worth it. I do not think I will be paid anything other than my normal weekly pay.

I was only making 250 a week working for her I really was grateful when she no longer needed me though I still miss her kids.

Anonymous said...

$250.00 a week. Please tell me that was for a very part-time position

TXNanny said...

Nope full time 8-5, you guys have to remember down here the cost of living is a LOT cheaper. We still haven't hit 4 bucks for gas yet....

mpp said...

4:07
I was going to say: "Try not to be such a pessimist!" ... because you said: "make sure they don't try to pass the kids on you for your whole visit. They will probably still treat you like their hired help" ...
And then I see in the next post from Txnanny: "we stay at their house along with my best friend and her husband and one day I watch all 3 kids" ....
I almost got ahead of myself, didn't I? lol
From now on I will look before I leap!

Txnanny, it's nice that you stay in touch, and I can see why now because the Employers are both best friends and the kids are close.
You are a very gracious person, and I'm just wondering whether or not it bothers you that they want you to watch the kids while you are there visiting.
I understand there are some perks, but after the way you said they treated you, I felt compelled to ask.

Yaya said...

A sentimental gift would be nice. I got a picture mug with a picture of me and the little boy on it that I love using.

When I left I made the little boy a nice scrapbook type book with pictures and stuff, sort of in a story format, that he really likes.

mom said...

TX Nanny, I do love the southern manners! My kids say "Yes sir" and "no sir," expect to be disciplined if they act up in school (which they never have...but there were always CONSEQUENCES here for the kids who did), and don't believe the world owes them a living. It kind of rekindles the midwestern values my parents taught us...except for the "ma'am" and "Sir", which I think are nice.

I never thought a thing of it when we were living in California and my kids called my friends by their first names...as did their kids to me. But when we moved here it was completely different and they had to learn really fast not to address any adult by a first name...even in very informal circumstances...in which case they could say "Miss Beth" or "Aunt Millie." My husband's aunt from Louisiana further informed me that it is never OK to address any elder (no matter how old you may be yourself) without some sort of "title" before it...under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

(Then she went on to explain why they "need" the KKK...so I learned to take what she says with a grain...no, make that silo full...of salt! People there still think that!)

So...maybe not every thing southern is what it ought to be, yet, but I do love the manners...and the history!

kaitlyn said...

Mom, your story about your husband's aunt really made me laugh. =)

Anonymous said...

I don't care if the gas price is under four dollars where you live. Even when I was a nanny and the gas was in the $2.00 range I never was paid $250.00 to work full-time.

How can you be friendly with these people. After the way they treated you.

TXNanny said...

Mom, I still say Mrs or Mr in front of someones name and I'm 25! I was taught to say yes ma'am and no ma'am and most people find that charming with the Texan twang.

MMP, They are flying 2 round trip people from Texas to Illinois and we don't have to pay for a hotel or food, or gas. I have no real expenses AND they are paying for food for my best friend and her husband too and letting them stay at the house. I also have full access to her SUV. The oldest will be 6 and the 2 youngest will be 2 1/2 so it's really not going to be that big of a deal and it's only one day. Besides the fact that I've known them for 4 years now and I miss the kids.

Sure I'm getting the short end of the stick but I don't do my job for the money I do it because I enjoy working with kids.

Anonymous said...

okay....thats great to not work for the money. Personally, I can't do that. I have real bills to pay

Anonymous said...

I worked for a family with a newborn for only 3 months before the Mother decided to quit her job because she spent all day at work crying because she missed the baby! They sent me on my way with a nice photo and three months pay, which I totally did not expect! I think they felt guilty leaving me without a job but I TOTALLY appreciated their kindness. They continued for two years to send me updates on their child too!

As a gift for them, I bought the baby a nice small toy - since the child was only 6 months old she was just beginning to play with things. I also wrote a letter about how much I enjoyed their child which they put into a scrapbook along with pictures of me and copies of our daily reports of what we did.

TXNanny said...

11:10 so do I but like I pointed out earlier the cost of living is a lot cheaper here than in other parts of the country.

Kaitlyn said...

TX Nanny, I agree with you about the cost of living. I'm here in the land of the Delta blues (Memphis) and I make $250/week for about 25 hours work-week and I think that is pretty reasonable. Things just don't cost as much here. Except gas. Boo gas!

Anonymous said...

Kaitlyn

She worked 40 hours a week for $250

You work 25 hours for the same price. Your making $10 per hour.
Shes was making a little over $6.00 per hour.
Thats doesn't sound good in any state!

Figure it out.

cali mom said...

Kaitlyn, that's great but TX Nanny was working 45 hrs a week, not 25, so you're making almost double her salary with that family.

Anonymous said...

Oh your right Calimom

Opps I thought she was working 40 hours. But at 45 hours she was getting less than six an hour.

Stupid nanny.

TXNanny said...

I don't make 250 a week anymore, in fact my salary has doubled.

I know I was getting the short end of the stick and I did say I was grateful when she no longer needed me because I was trying to find a way out and still maintain the friendship.

I only worked for her for 9 months.............

TXNanny said...

11:37 your comment was uncalled for. I did not insult you nor do I deserve to be insulted. I knew what was going on and I knew the situation wasn't the best and I was looking for a way out, which I clearly stated in a previous post.

kaitlyn said...

Whoops. I guess I missed that part about 40 hours. Well then yeah she definitely should have been making more.

Anonymous said...

Geez, I just re-read some of the comments on this thread and this site is getting really bad about people bickering and fighting with each other. I come on here to read because I am truly interested in most of the things that are posted and not in silly catfights. People can be so rude. And I know those people who like to pick fights are going to tell me to stop reading the comments--well, maybe I just will.

Anonymous said...

I apologize for the comment I made. About you being stupid. I just get so angry with families that are so cheap and nannies that accept it.

Sorry for the comment it was uncalled for.

Anonymous said...

TXNanny: Bravo for doing a great job even though you might not have been making the highest salary. I live in the Northeast, but I was raised to live up to my agreements. That includes doing my job the best I can even if I might not be making the highest end of the pay scale. When I agree to take a position that means holding up my end of the bargain and working hard. I would have had an issue with the extra duties being added (after all, your employers should hold up their end of the bargain), but it gets me so mad to see some so-called nannies do a half assed job and claim they are justified because they are not being paid enough. If you are not being offered what you feel you can command--don't take the job. Don't take it and neglect your charges and the responsibilities you agreed to when you accepted the position.

Laura said...

I worked for a family that i would often take the kids even when they didnt need me and have a sleep over. Thier kids would ask and i loved having them- even with out pay. The mom would joke and say i love that you want to take my kids all the time. On our last sleepover the oldent girl left her pants and shoes. I was busy and half waited for a call that they needed me. By this point i was VERY part time (from about 30 hours a week). When i didnt hear from her i went to thier house. You know what they gave me? They left town. No note. No phone call. to smoke signals. nothing. I cried. for months i hoped they were ok and that i would hear from them.

They never called or wrote tho.

Anonymous said...

Laura, that is so weird! I can't imagine what I would do if that happened. Maybe I've been watching too much of that new show "In Plain Sight" but maybe there was some kind of horrible emergency that forced them to get out of town ASAP. Hopefully they are ok.

TXNanny said...

12:10. When I took that job I was naive, I didn't really sit down and think about what I was doing, I was fed up with the job I was at and this seemed like a perfect out. Needless to say I fond out the hard way the grass isn't greener on the other side.

But I also looked at the pros with that job. I had NO stress with this job, although I was being taken advantage of I truly enjoyed my job and looked forward to it each and every day which is something I had never been able to say before.

The best part of the entire situation is that I found a job working for her best friend, someone who treats me like a person and I've got the best job in the world. If I hadn't worked for my former boss I wouldn't have the job I have now. In fact I can't really call it a job, I enjoy it so much.


12:09, I was trying to figure out a way out. I knew I wasn't making what I should have been making but I also didn't have that many bills to pay so I was making ends meet. I also knew the job wasn't forever. When she hired me she told me that her husbands job would be transferring him they just weren't sure when.

Anonymous said...

I would think twice about giving a framed picture of the kids. Maybe being a nanny is totally different from being a teacher. But, my mom is a preschool teacher and every year she gets framed pictures of her kids as presents. And while she loves the kids she really doesn't want to decorate her house with them. Nor does she have room for them. I understand as a nanny you would not have the multiple picture issue... but I just find it a bit odd that people think someone would want pictures of their kids as a present. Unless you knew for sure that the nanny REALLY loved the kids and IS going to miss them and isn't just relieved to be moving on.

seattlenanny said...

TX nanny is right about it being cheap to live there. House prices in my area start at $400,000 for a small one. My husband wanted us to move to the Houston area and we were looking at big, amazing houses that were around $150,000. When I looked at nanny jobs I saw that it would be a HUGE pay cut if I moved. I guess it's all relative.

Thinking about the day that I have to leave my current charges breaks my heart. I hope to stay till they're 18. Ha just kidding ;) Anyway as a nanny I would be happy to receive a nice picture and card wrote by the kids. I agree with other posters that a good recommendation letter is a must.

Anonymous said...

You, the mom who is a teacher, is she also the car dogger? Somebody doesn't like kids or dogs.

As a nanny, I would always want a picture of my charges. If every family I ever nannied for gave me a picture of the kids when I left, how many frames would that make if I were a good nanny? And hopefully, the family you nanny for sends you a holiday card and photo every year for an update.

A picture frame is a great gift for a teacher. Sometimes we put a picture of the child in the frame, more as a "from this person" not meant as a permanent fixture. It's nicer to give a frame with a picture in it than without.

I am shocked at how damn cold some of you people are. No pictures of kids, stuffing dogs in cars, excusing negligent nannies left and right?

I don't think you're mothers held you enough.

Anonymous said...

I work in the Houston area and make $700 a week for 45 hours. It is a tough salary to get in this area because it is far easier for people to hire those who spill over the border and will work for a fraction of that. It's not really about having a lower cost of living, it's about having a million people slip sliding over your border ready to work for $300 a week.

TXNanny said...

Seattlenanny, depends on what part of Houston you live in, up on the North Side the houses are a LOT more than that (300 thousand range) but yes you can actually still find a decent home for 80 thousand (3 bedroom 2 bath). The area of Houston that bush senior lives are in the million dollar range. The area of town I live in the homes are around 150.

TXNanny said...

1:04 The explain our gas prices, explain why a gallon of milk is cheaper here than up north, why a home is cheaper here than up north. Yes we do have a problem with illegals but it's a well known fact that we have a lower cost of living and it's what's bringing more and more people to this area. The illegals don't control our gas and the prices at the local grocery store.....

The other nannies in the area I work in make about 400-500 a week even the illegals.

What area do you work in? I'm down in the Suburbs south of Houston

seattlenanny said...

We were looking off Rayford Rd in Spring TX. I ended up staying here though because I couldn't handle the heat. I'm a sissy when it comes to anything but rain ;) I love the Pacific Northwest, $400,000 for a shack and $4.39 for regular gas and all!

TXNanny said...

I know that area; Spring used to be a great place to live it's kind of going downhill. I live closer to the Gulf.

It is pretty hot here and the humidity makes it a lot worse, got up to 95 today but heck when the temp gets to 80 we all bring out our winter clothes ;-)

I just filled up for 3.80 a gallon, this is the one time I don't mind the pollution from the refineries because it means we have the some of the cheapest gas in the country.

Anonymous said...

I just resigned from my job as a nanny (I was there for 3 years) and received a photo book made on one of those websites of all of the pictures of the children and I over the years, a $200 spa gift card with instructions to pamper myself because I have pampered the children for their first few years, cake, flowers, too many kisses and hugs (and tears!) to count, beautiful letters written by the parents, and a relationship with 2 families I will always cherish (nanny share). I didn't expect anything, nor did I really feel that I deserved anything but a hug and a kiss and maybe a birthday invite here and there. It was a beautiful gesture that I will always remember, from beautiful people. It broke my heart to leave them, but it was time to move into my next stage of life (as wife and hopefully someday in the near future mother), but I know we will always remain close.

This blog saddens me at times because of the way nannies and employers are treated. I was lucky enough to be sighted doing a great job on here once, and even I saw some very nasty posts written then. This is to help children and their care givers, not exploit or belittle... OP, thank you for wanting to recognize your obviously wonderful nanny's contribution to your children.

Signed,
Still a nanny at heart

Anonymous said...

Nice post.
I would hope the nasty comments you speak of from your good sighting were just a bunch of mindless drivel from one poster to another, and none were directed at you.
Usually there will be 1 or 2 threads on the front home page that have people going back and forth, but most times it has nothing to do with the sighting.

Too bad some people have nothing better to do than to be mean.
I don't mind the personal stories, or off the wall advice I see on some of the threads, but the nasty banter needs to go.

Thank you for posting back. I'm glad to hear of another family that was good to their nanny. That means as much to me as a good nanny sighting!
Blessings!

a texas nanny said...

How weird, my fiancee's mom and stepdad live just off rayford road, which is sort of between Old Town Spring and the Woodlands.

With most of the sightings being in New York and similar areas on this site, I never thought I would hear mention of a location I am so familiar with! (Even if it isn't a sighting lol...)

Anonymous said...

TX Nanny,
My backyard is a pecan orchard. Who knew there were so many Texans on board?

Anonymous said...

I am not a nanny, but I employ one. I live off of the Inwood Golf Course. I tend to think most people who read blogs don't comment.

I haven't before now.

TXNanny said...

Wow there are a few of us, like I said before I'm down south off of 288.

Anonymous said...

To 1:02 - this is 12:51. You made me laugh. I actually am not a nanny nor do I work with kids. You are right, I don't like them lol. I just started reading this blog because 2 of my best friends are nannies and love this blog. So when they are reading it, I read to and found a lot of the banter amusing. I am not the dog hater you refer to because I actually adore animals, volunteer with them, and worship mine like they are royalty. And you may be right, my mom probably loves her presents. I just thought they were tacky. Shows what I know and at least I recognize that I should never work or maybe even have kids!

Giftcardheaven said...

i think it's nice that you are thinking of getting your nanny a gift. you could get her a giftcard to her favorite store rather than cash. i only say this because as someone with a lot of bills to pay, any cash i received would get eaten up by incidental things. a gift card forces you to treat yourself to something. you are very kind though. it makes me feel sad though because my employers didn't even get me a Christmas present or bonus. You make me want to work for nicer people. Oh well, you live, you learn.

Anonymous said...

OMG!$250 a week? That is the most awful thing I have ever heard, you were taken advantage of horribly. I dont care if the gas was .99 a gallon and your rent is $200/month that is still complete crap. Not even minimum wage for HARD work and long hours. Wow! I am astonished and soo grateful now for the salary I get for $900 a week for one baby

mom said...

Time to get over it now. Txnanny has.

Anonymous said...

Shes just posting her thoughts too, Mom. Just like you post yours all over on this site. Its not like she attacked Tx Nanny

Anonymous said...

11:19
I think it's because posters have been making little jabs at txnanny all week. It was worse on another thread. We don't want to lose any contributors, that's all.

mom said...

Oh, I know. It's just that txnanny has explained the entire situation and she doesn't have a bad lingering feeling about it. It seems that some poeple may be trying to raise some anger in her over what is already done, over with, and forgiven.
Maybe it was too little..but what she says about the cost of living here is also absolutely true. She got by just fine. She was young. She learned a lesson. And she doesn't hold a grudge. And the part that struck me the most is that she has the kind of work ethic that made it important for her to do her best at her job and fulfill her commitment even when she wasn't entirely happy with the circumstances...because SHE HAD AGREED to the terms and given her word.

I think txnanny sounds like a great person.

erics mom said...

Your right guys. I don't think people are meaning to get upset at Txnanny. My opinion, when we read stories like these. Nannies getting taking advantage of, we put ourselves in their shoes. Like when I read her story, I thought of myself. I remember being taking advantage of on two jobs. I remember the way they tried to talk to me. I remember having to confront the mom and let her know in a firm way I was putting up with her crap. Maybe, because I was young at the time...they feel the need to bully you.
Txnanny mentioned that the family wasn't too nice to her. I think when you read this and you have experienced it your emotions come out on it. You feel the need to tell the person being taken advantage of to stick up for yourself, don't work for people like this again etc.

I hope this makes sense. I have a hard time explaining my feelings on here.

UmassSlytherin said...

I agree, eric's mom. when I was younger, I remember times I was taken advantage of. One couple I remember in particular who I babysat for used to talk to me as if I were one of the kids! They paid me very little and while I loved the kids, the kids were very challenging and all (3 kids) had behavioral special needs. But I needed the money desperately because I was putting myself through college and in addition to the job I had on campus, I also got up every morning at 5:30 to clean an office downtown (awesome, awesome couple who owned a computer software company were soo nice to me) and I had to babysit on weekends just to make ends meet.

It is horrible when you really need a job, are an honest and hard worker and people take advantage of you because of your age, or for any reason.

Sadly, I find now as an adult that even when you assert yourself, sometimes people do not like it! When I was a nanny, I told the family that they had to stop coming home late every night because I got paid salary. They were astonished and their answer was, "Well, we try to come home a bit early whenever we can," but they didn't understand that if they came home late, I couldn't go home! In a daycare, if you pick up your child a half hour early on Monday, it still doesn't mean you can be 45 minutes late on Tuesday! Well, long story short, after that they started treating me coldly.

But you should always assert yourself: it is the only way to ever get respect and get what you want.

mom said...

You did good, Eric's mom. Point taken. We are all especially "hot" on issues where we have had personal experience. I hadn't considered it from that perspective.

erics mom said...

opps I meant wasn't instead of was

UMass can I ask what type of work do you do now? You mentioned you were putting yourself thru college. I was just curious. And I am sorry you were treated like crap from that one family. I feel like what goes around comes around. You never know who or what might cross their path.

Ahhh, mom you got my point. Good I thought it could be confusing to read : )

UmassSlytherin said...

eric's mom,
I put myself through college, got my BA, past tense! :)

And I now have my own business I run from my home.

erics mom said...

Awesome, no need to waste extra money on gas, by working at home. Thats cool

Anonymous said...

Um,again like I stated before, 250 a week is crap. Youd make more at McDonalds!!!! That family should be shot! If they are that poor you cant afford a nanny-put the brats in daycare.

Anonymous said...

It's never ending .......

TXNanny said...

I'm posting this on both articles so that everyone reads it.

I want you guys to think about what Texas is famous for. Think long and hard.........Maybe this will jog your memory http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEM-ZJRvHhI

Now my family owns some land south of us, and this really big company came around asking to drill on our land for oil. We finally allowed them to about 8 years ago and what do you know they found what they were looking for.

My share is in the 8 figure range and actually it's pretty close to that 9 figure range. We also have some more land up a few hours north of us that they will be drilling on soon so my share just might get bigger. I get a nice check every single month; needless to say money means nothing to me.

I also have an uncle who's pretty famous and has his own show on television. I am also his one and only goddaughter and since he doesn't have nor want kids of his own and he's not married I stand to inherit a a nice amount of money. So again I say money means nothing to me.

Now I know I was being taken advantage of, I am well aware of that. But there is also a back story you guys don't know.

I have known this family for about 4 years now. I used to be their sons teacher at a daycare that I used to work for and one day she called me up and asked me to watch her youngest who was 2 months old. He had some medical problems and she was afraid to leave him in daycare because she didn't want him to get sick. I agreed and started working for her soon after. He slept almost the entire time I was there. I spent my days on the internet, reading books, watching tv, and doing homework. He would wake up, I would feed him and if I was lucky he would stay awake 30 min after I fed him, most times he would go right back to sleep. Then the whole process would start all over again 3 hours later, this lasted up until he was 10 months old and she no longer needed me when he was a year old. I was free to run any and all errands I needed to run and was allowed to bring my baby cousin along anytime I wished to. I also left 2 hours early twice a week to go to school. Also what I was making per week was AFTER taxes. She paid her share and my share of the taxes.

It also opened the door to my current job. If I had not been their nanny I never would have met my current employer. She is the best 'boss' I could ask for. She is kind, caring, sweet, generous...I could go on and on. She does not ever take advantage of me. I do no other 'chores' except what I want to do. I do occasionally empty and run the dishwasher but it is not expected and I always get a thank you afterwards. Same thing if I run a load of the kid's clothes. She has only asked me to run a couple of kid related errands and I've been happy to oblige. She pays me substantially more per week than my previous employer and I also only work about 30 hours a week.

So again I know I was being screwed but it only lasted 9 months and I've moved on. I've learned some lessons and I've also found a great family to work with because of the last family, so I really don't have much to complain about.

I've been reading this site for about year now but never posted until a few weeks ago. I've seen the fights so I knew it wasn't the most civil place on the internet but at the same time I figured as long as I was nice I wouldn't be attacked. I never once attacked anyone, criticized anyone, made a snide comment to anyone and yet 3 posters who didn't even have the balls to post under a name decided to attack me. The first time, I confronted the person and they apologized. The second time I fought fire with fire and I don't regret it in the least.

I tried being civil and unfortunately that didn't work so that's it for me.
Thanks to the ones that were on my 'side' I appreciate it.


TXNanny

Anonymous said...

XOXOXO

Anonymous said...

we love u txnanny, don't go!!!!!!!!
don't let them win!!!!
you're a fighter, i know you are!!!
stay, please!!!!


ok, that's all i'm gonna beg. lol

Anonymous said...

Riigggght . Because if I was a multimillionare I would be a nanny..that makes sense. Please your story about the oil drilling is b.s. just admit it , you got taken advantage of. There is no shame in that,its only a learning experience. Dont lie because I dont think one person actually believes that crock of shit of a story you just told.

Anonymous said...

well, how would you know, are YOU a damn psychic?
i've heard of crazier stories, why can't it be true?
don't hate because your jealous!
lmao

Anonymous said...

I believe txnanny.

Anonymous said...

lol, no im not psychic I can just see bullshit a mile away! If she was really a "millionare" who stuck it rich with oil why on earth would she be working for $250/week. I know that if I loved kids so much I would be volunteering with needy kids , going to orphanages, etc. It just doesnt make sense. It sounds like she sat there 2 days thinking of a way to justify being taken advantage of. I am entitled to my opinion and Id bet my life that its the truth!

egan said...

I don't think the question is why she would work for $250 a week. I think the question is why would she work as a nanny for children of some privilige for $250 a week.

I don't work because my husband makes a tremendous living, (ironically trading oil). I spend about 20 hours a week working for and with a program that provides mamograms to women in need.

It never occured to me to drive up to White Plains and interview for a nanny position.

UmassSlytherin said...

Texas Nanny,
It would, in my opinion, be a shame and a loss to this blog if you did not continue posting. You seem far more interesting and genuine than some of the other posters here.

sprak said...

Some people, even if they have money and security, still prefer to be a productive member of society, doing something they love or believe in. Among the volunteers at the Humane Society are a few "more than moderately wealthy" individuals who work long and hard hours to help provide for our stray animals here in town. Are they being taken advantage of? I think that would be for them to decide, just as it is for Texas Nanny. It's their choice to do what they do, regardless of the pay or lack thereof.

Considering that Texas nanny is young, most people starting out in a career don't begin at top dollar wages. Sometimes, first jobs are learning experiences that qualify one for higher pay down the road. In fact, that's the way things usually work. Whatever choices Texas Nanny made, they were her choices to make and hers alone. To those criticizing this obviously genuinely kind, caring young woman about her pay scale, of all things, I say, "stifle yourselves!"

Anonymous said...

10:22
...... Another idiot.
Were you not payng attention? She doesn't have it all now. It comes in a monthly stipend.

God, how do people like you make it through the day?

And why would she have to justify being taken advantage of when she'd already admitted she had been?
When you justify something, it's because you are trying to make excuses for it. She never did.

mpp said...

Wow. I can't believe some people want to be so mean.

Txnanny seems like such a nice person, what are some of you getting out of beating her down?
This must be a crazy kind of fun I don't understand.

Anonymous said...

10:22 here-If she is really what she says she is worth then her "monthly stipend" is very large. Trust me on that, I know. She doesnt have to get it in a lump sum for her to be rolling in the money, especially in a place where she, herself has already said to be a very low costing place to live. I am not an idiot , again I just don't believe the story--and I am entitled to my opinion. I just know that $250 would be demeaning and I would rather volunteer my time to people in need not cheap asses.

Anonymous said...

OMG there are plenty of people out there who have trust funds that work at low paying jobs because they like what they do. They can afford to work at what they like and want to do. Not everyone wo has a trust sits back and sucks up Mint Julleps all day .
I have a dear friend that works in a nursing home taking care of people that are totally incapcitated for peanuts. She could be sitting on one of the islands some where doing zilch. You would never know she had money they way she lives and how hard she works helping others.
I don't think it is a BS story.
Kaitlin donates her salary to differnt things , mainly tho she spends it on food for the animal shelters and the homeless.
I lived in Galvason for years and I love TX. Sure your wages are less and so is the cost of living
and home prices. I totally intend to retire down south, where I can live nicely and not pay an arm and a leg for a nice place to live.
Good luck Txnanny.
I think you are going to mkae a good mother when you decide to have kids.

Judy

mpp said...

2:51
That's a good point. And it brings to mind a friend I know that comes from a very wealthy family, and he owns several restaurants in the area.
The hilarious part? He works as a Bartender at The Hilton.
Yep. He drives up in one of his 3 sports cars that cost upwards of $50,000+ .... and goes to work.
When I finally got up the nerve to ask WHY? .... he says because he likes to socialize, and being a Bartender is fun.
And it "gives him something to do".

Wow.

mom said...

Funny how money brings out the worst in some people. People try to act one way, but just let somebody have it better than them and then the claws can no longer be retracted at will.

I must say that several of the "regulars" have left very thoughful posts today.

Being rich and pamering themselves day in and day out forever and ever is not fulfilling to people of true substance who wish to make a positive difference in the world.

sprak said...

Wasn't it JFK who turned down his salary when he was president? Some people are so encumbered by their narrow minds.

Anonymous said...

My mom is one of a family of children numbered in the double digits, all of varying "financial circumstance." One of my uncles has had a really hard life, had a terrible illness as a child that left him partially disabled and contibuted to him developing one of those mental illnesses that it is believed require both a genetic predisposition and a "triggering event." He is gentle as a kitten and loving as an angel...but life has been hard for him with all of that. Now he is in very precarious health and has also recently come into a huge sum of money.
Instead of being happy that "Uncle Ernest" has finally caught a break, wouldn't you know the family is now split into two...or maybe three...camps and relationships have been destroyed to the point that they are permanently irreconcilable...all because people are lobbying and conniving to get their hands on the loot.

But this guy, although mentally ill, is VERY SMART. People underestimate him. He watches and remembers. Two of his siters are already written out of his will because they were caught trying to access his bank records without his consent. One sister tried to have him committed permanently to a VA institution, and while he was in for medical treatment (so sure of her ability to keep him involuntarily committed until his health "ran out") she went to his house and took every possible useful item home for herself...right down to his toilet paper (I kid you not.) She took his sheets, his kitchen utensils, dishes, curtains, and even his blood monitoring machine for his diabetes. (She is also diabetic but he has...oops...had...some really fancy machine and she wanted it.) But God forbid everybody might share in his toilet paper stash. I cannot tell you how hurt he was to return home and find it entirely gutted...and then to find out that he wasn't actually robbed, but it was his own sister who did it to him! (Oddly, it is the absolute wealthiest of the sisters who did this too. Money does strange things to people.)

Marissa M. said...

I especially "loved" how my employers send me off without even a thank you and best wishes note. Every employer i've ever had has AT LEAST done that. I wasn't expecting money. Maybe they were just pissed because I quit and they weren't happy with the 7 weeks notice. (i quit because i had to move out of state)

I especially enjoyed giving them a total bullshit card of how lovely they where to work for when I hated every last day of work. (Ya'll have no idea how i was treated- thank fully the children made up for it by showing their appreciation). The only reason i gave them a card was because I knew I wouldn't get one from people like them and to make her feel bad :)

The expression on her face of embarressment was priceless. im a witch, i know it.

Sarah said...

I worked for the same family for nearly 7 years.. worked three days a week for nearly ten hour days for the first 4 years, and then the boys went to school, I got no parting gift, no goodbye, no severence, they even insisted I declare myself as self employed, even after they had paid me far beyond the $600 that says you must start deducting taxes.. (which they never did).. the boys went into preschool and I found part time work at as a caretaker in a retirement establishment. Then they decided to adopt again, this time they got twins.. girl and a boy.. they asked me to work for them again, and of course I agreed.. even after 6 months missing the boys so terribly.. well I soon bonded with the twins and took care of them 3-4 days a week, also had the boys for part of some of the days.. working around a famly that insisted on working as much as possible and secretly resenting me for bonding with their children.. well she did anyway.. when the decision was made to put the 2 year olds into a gymnastics program, I had been told I would have a month to find a new job.. 2 days later they "changed their minds" and I was left with nothing.. no thank you, no gift no severence, just a few snide remarks from the now pregnant and hormonal mother, and a slap in the face... I gave so much of my heart and my time and my life to those kids.. working around a constnatly changing schedule, I was very accomidating.. and got dragged through the mud..without an increase in pay, it was said that I was expected to do dishes, keep the laundry caught up, keep the kitchen clean, sweep up after the kids ate, keep track of the dog, shovel poop in the backyard before we went out to play, and a myriad of other ridiculous very specific things.. I'm certain were the result of mother guilt from working too much...I got the brunt of it. My only solace through the whole deal, was that for those years, I know they got the very best care and more love than they would have just thrown into some daycare. I'm so glad their are nannys out there who are treated well.. Enjoy those benefits, you have the hardest and best job in the world, and unless someone has done the job themselves, they simply don't understand all that is involved..

Sarah said...

I have to say I'm a bit envious of all of these stories.. I think it's wonderful to know that their are some of you out there, who have been truely appreciated for the work that you do..It is the hardest and best job in the world, and unless you've done it for yourself, you can not fully understand all that's involved in it. The good and the bad.. I did not regret my job for the last 7 years, it was wonderful minus the psychoic, guilt ridden mother..but I also learned a valueable lesson. Just because two people have children, and you care of them.. does NOT mean you share the same values in raising those children. I loyally, faithfully and nearly always happily worked for this family.. first raising their two boys for almost 5 years.. than with their twins for 2. Towards the end of it, so much more was expected of me without more pay.. keep up the laundry, keep the kitchen and bathrooms cleaned, shovel dog poop, everything had a very specific way of being done, and I must say, I do not reccomend working for controlling people..especially mothers. You are on their turf, and although they have made the sobor and conscious choice to leave their children and go to work.. you have no ground to stand on when you get the abuse stemming from their guilty conscious. it was slave labor after a while, knowing I could do no right, regardless of quality of work, or posative attitude in doing that work, despite not getting more pay..In fact, when the choice was made to put the two year olds into gymnastics I was told I would have one month to find a new job.. two days later I called to ask a question regarding the schedule, and was Told not to come back to work. On the upside they finally discovered that these years with their children will not magically appear ever again, this is it.. and ultimately that is the more important thing and for the kids sake, I'm glad they finally learned it. You can get more money but you can't get more time! However, leaving me high and dry, no severance, no parting gift, no thank you note, just a few choice words and a slap in the face.. I filed for unemployment since I needed some supplimental income, and didn't actually have the 4 weeks pay they had promised me.. they never told the government about the thousands of dollars they paid me over the years, they insisted I say I was self employed although this was a lie.. so after being asked a battery of questions, an auditor was sent to the house.. I didn't mean for that to happen, but I expected some sort of compensation from the state or from them. After all, a man is only as good as his word. Meanwhile I miss those kids so much, I actually cry for them.. I know certain needs are not being met, with two parents working full time, so money hungry, and a 5th kid on the way.. I hope things change for them soon.. I gave all that I had for 7 years, and although I may not get any money or compensation, the love they gave me and the times we shared can neither be measured or replaced!