Received Thursday, May 1, 2008
Dear Chaos Making Occasional Sitter-Rant
I looked up the word sociopath in the dictionary and there was your picture. Why is it every time you come around, you turn people upside down with your word games? Bloodthirsty. Scheming. Phony. Sadistic. Heartless. Lacking any semblance of loyalty whatsoever. So desperate to be liked that there is no adult or child you wouldn't betray. You love to undermine people, to cause controversy and to sit back and watch people suffer? Why? What happened to you to make you so cold and manipulative? Sure you're as good with children as you need to be so that you remain competitive, but it isn't genuine. Aren't you just so smug and superior? A crafty little bitch, lying out both sides of her mouth. Making so certain to steal things that you could easily blame on another, repeating conversations you overheard as your own and everywhere looking for the next person to lie your way in with, to snare in your web of dirty tricks. Ever so lovely are the traps you set for people to fall in, playing this person against that one and all for your own sick amusement.
123 comments:
Here's a question: Why is she still your occasional sitter if she's such a sociopath? What SPECIFICALLY did she do to you that has you so bitter?
This was written by the regular, full time person. Not the mom.
This post is a waste of space...If you are going to rant, you could give some specific examples of why you are ranting...
You want to know what she stole?
WTF is this about? Wow some people surely need lives. And I can't believe I took to the time to read it either!
Um ... O.k., tell us some of the things this lying, manipulative, scheming, heartless, part-time
rag-a-muffin did?
Um, and you are still leaving your children w/this person because...why?
If you are the regular nanny, have a talk w/your employers about this, and gather some evidence of the problems she has caused. Convey your genuine concerns for the safety of the children, if you have any. Ranting here will accomplish absolutely nothing.
Huh? This is a little vague. Who are you? What happened?
You sound like a crazed, vindictive wench. Some people don't have strong moral character, get on with your life, lady.
Yeah really, we don't know who you are.
Mom?
Nanny?
This is the effect people with a personality disorder (narcissistic, borderline, sociopathic)can have on others. OP, we need specifics, please...otherwise, no way for anyone to relate, comment, or support you. Let us know what you're dealing with.
**(I could have written the very same rant about my employer- Ha!).
OP, you sound like such a melodramatic windbag. Your post sounds like an audition for some lame soap opera. Get a grip.
I am dealing with a sitter that start working so I could take a one night class on Thursdays. From there, she brokered herself a Saturday night gig. Then she talked my employer into using her all day Saturday. Every time I turn around, my boss who has known me for 28 months is acting suspicous of me. And this new person who I have to see every Thursday is always passing on things to make me upset. Like my boss said I left the floors filthy. I don't houseclean. I can't go back to my boss and say "sitter said x, y and z". She just makes me so angry. She has the kids ask for her so now they are telling me that I should take a class another day. Why would children say that? The sitter has only been around for 10 weeks or so. My boss and I wear the same size. The sitter does not wear the same size. Sitter tells me, "H" was looking all over for her boots, she wondered if you put them somewhere". Of course I am defensive. And what happens? Sitter asks me why I am so defensive and I can just see in her sick sick face the enjoyment she is getting out of it but I can't help it. I know she overheard a conversation I was having on the phone Thursday when I was getting ready to leave and she passed the details of my private call on to our boss as if I had given her the details first hand. In short, I want this sitter gone. She is disruptive and opportunistic.
and continuing. Later I found out that a pair of her boots did go missing. And she never asked me about it first hand or even mentioned it to me. Why would that be? I heard second hand that she was pissed things kept disappearing most recently a pair of expensive boots. But why wouldn't she tell that to me?
Try this:
Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable (Paperback)
by Lillian Glass (Author)
Because when you get rid of one toxic person, sure enough you'll soon cross paths with another.
I wouldn't say she sounds vindictive. She sounds pissed.
.... or maybe jealous?
Sounds like she's trying to assume the position.
(pun intended)
Why would a full time sitter/nanny try to assume the position of a part timer?
I really wonder why you all can't just let a nanny rant. We let employers rant. We read venimous posts about 'bad nannies'.
Put yourself in someone elses shoes maybe you will see the light.
Don't you think this nanny might also be looking for answers? maybe some sympathy?
No one truly rants without wanting some kind of feedback.
I don't see where it says EITHER of them are full-time.
yes here:
I am dealing with a sitter that start working so I could take a one night class on Thursdays.
that is what i get. a full time sitter needs to leave early for a class one day. they get a sitter but it's the wrong one for sure.
okay from now on i will use a MONIKER. because all the anonymous posts look dumb and are hard to follow.
why would someone you feel this way about still be working for you? can we hear again from OP?
The is the most confusing assinine rant I've ever seen.
Posters don't know if it's from a nanny or a mom.
I assumed it was from a nanny, but then must be going crazy because everyone keeps saying, "why does she still watch your kids, or work for you".
UGH!
OP
Thanks for being more clear.
BEFORE any more damage is done, you need to have a sit down discussion with your employer and go over all of this. Tell her that you heard about the boots and that the other sitter made you feel as if she may have thought you stole them. Then reassure her that you would never steal.
Tell her the other sitter makes comments to you that make it seem she is unhappy with you and ask if it is true.
Tell her about the phone call.
Tell her the other sitter is a confusing person for you because she seems to be intentionally undermining your relationship with your employer and the children, and getting some sort of enjoyment out of it. But stop short of saying anythign nasty about her because that will only make you look bad.
Tell her everything and if she is a reasonable person she will beging to at least look at the other sitter and start to wonder if she has a hidden dark side ot her persoinality.
If you don't it sounds like you will eventually be squeezed out of your job. So act fast before she plants any more seeds in your employer's head.
But don't turn into jelly with oyur employer just to keep ypour job either. For instance, if she really does want you to do housework but it is not part of oyur job description and you really don't want to add it in, don't suddenly agree to it just because she has you over a barrel all of a sudden. Simply say something like, "No, I don't do housework, but we agreed up front that that wasn't part of my job. I'm surprised to hear that it now bothers you that I don't." Maintain oyur dignity and oyur employer will maintain her respect for you.
Good luck. Oh, and read that book about toxic people. They are everywhere.
This girl was my Nanny at one time! She stole, lied to me and to my housekeeper, she told lies to the people who work in my building so they now hate us! I am sure this is the same evil girl!
Its me again. Thanks Mom for taking the time to give me some advice. I feel like this individual is going to drive me crazy. Yes, I am the full time sitter/nanny. I work M-F and work until 6:30 every night excepting Thursdays when I have to leave at 4:30 PM.
1025- She's never worked as a nanny before. She has a full time job in another field. But with regard to the housekeeper, I am pretty certain that she has even tried to disparage the housekeeper to my boss. This sitter thrives on creating chaos and I really want something awful to happen to her!
If you let someone like that in your house, heaven help you. I know just the type. Long after she is gone, she will be cackling over the mayhem she created in your life. She may be an employee but she has a superiority complex, even possibly resent you for hiring her for a sitter position. It makes no sense, but there are people like this and they are very, very dangerous. They have a virtual syringe they extract into every situation and after extracting every opportunity, favor and dollar; they inject their toxic poison. They are never as bright as they think they are, so they eventually get caught but by that time the damage is done. I had one of these people come into our small 9 person office. We were like family. She went out of her way to be friendly and kind to everyone's face but behind each person's back she maligned them to the next person. She created an atmosphere of mistrust. Everyone was always on their guard, second guessing their every move and wondering why the next person was treating them a certain way. She would then counsel everyone about how they didn't deserve this treatment from that person and had to stand up for themselves. She was the most purely evil person I ever met. No one was off limits. She lied to clients about our boss, who paid her salary and was a really good woman. And if a visiting male came in the office be it a salesperson or husband, she instantly ingratiated herself with him. She talked him up, kidded with him. She would give anyone her business card or email. She had relationships with everyone. She ended up having a secret email relationship with the wives of our second in charge and with my husband whom she contacted initially about a birthday idea. I was shocked when I saw the emails. They weren't flirtatious, just very friendly and very much overstepping any normal boundaries. One email was written at 9 in the morning and nearly complained about my mood that morning, asking him what he did to me in a joking way. And my husband never told me about these emails. There were only six or so but they were wholly inappropriate. One was an email after my birthday complimenting the gift that he had gotten me and telling him how lucky we were to have each other. The email said how I was the total package and we were perfect for each other. I know this isn't flirtatious, but she had met my husband ONE time and had a conversation with him over a development project they were both familiar with.
I wouldn't do anything bad to her. These people are so evil, I wonder if they are actually witches.
She needs to leave that house and job. And she will probably call you and try to befriend you or do something to try and stay connected to your employer, your housekeeper or even you.
No contact.
None.
Because anything she hears from anyone in that house is going to be twisted and crafted into her next exploit. And believe me, you don't want to be part of it.
Please take "mom's" advice, and talk to your employer. If your employer is the kind of person who believes this new babysitter (a relative stranger, and a dangerous one at that!) over you, then you wouldn't want to continue working for her anyway, I would hope. Let us know what happens. Stay strong!
Great post, HS. Scary, though, to know ppl like that exist!
Great advice, mom.
I knew someone like that once. She had to make sure everyone liked her the best and the only way she could make sure of that was to cause strife between other people. Lots of lies. I wonder what happened to her. She would meet a woman's husband and give him a handshake in front of you but when you weren't looking at her, she would look at him with these eyes that said, "what I would do to you". She definitely wanted all men to want her and think they had a shot with her. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
this post confused me a little, but I can't stop reading your site
even in the business world there are those who can only make themselves look good by making others look bad. I've worked with that kind of person and it's very stressful. you have to constantly be on guard and watch your back- - they are usually pretty sneaky, too and know how to manipulate others. it's enough to ruin any day of the workweek with asses like that around.
what a complete sociopath. definitely speak to your employers about this person.
Anonymous 6:18 AM said...
I really wonder why you all can't just let a nanny rant. We let employers rant. We read venimous posts about 'bad nannies'.
Put yourself in someone elses shoes maybe you will see the light.
My Reply:
This place and the bloggers here really don't like it when nannies rant. At most, they will tell the nanny she's being treated horribly, look for other work, and wish her luck. Some will tell her the job is what it is and if she doesn't like it look for other employers or other work. And some will tell her she allows herself to be a doormat and so she deserves it. They don't say it in so many words but the meaning is clear enough.
When I left my career to become a full time nanny I was advised by another career nanny to expect to work about 2 years or so for any given employer because, the rare exception that proves the rule aside, the average life span of a decent, mutually respectful relationship between a nanny and her employer is about two years or less. If you are a poor nanny, you are likely to be dismissed quickly, and rightfully so. If you are a mediocre nanny you will probably last about a year before your disinterest in your work causes either you or your employer to terminate the relationship. If you are a good to excellent nanny, you can expect to last about 2 years or so because your showing up on time, not calling out sick often and willingness to help out extra when needed will be appreciated, then anticipated, then taken for granted.
I didn't believe this advice, but now I'm on my second family and looking for a new job after 26 months of loyal service. The family I work for now isn't bad. the mom and dad aren't horrible people. But I'm unhappy for the same reasons I have heard echoed here in the past by other nannies. Extra duties added without being asked and arrivals that seem later and later with little or no notice. The same thing happened with the first family.
I also want to say I am not a push-over. I make my terms very clear when I get hired, and I certainly know how to assert myself, having been a saleswoman and account manager for 2 decades. However, the very nature of the work a really good nanny does is usually her downfall. We invest so much love and care and time into our charges that we grow to love them. I am of the opinion that a great nanny will lay day her life to save the life of her charge, much like a great mother would. So, it's very hard to just walk away from a child you would die protecting because the mom comes home late without calling or they suddenly ask you to clean the cat box. If you assert yourself and say no, even to something minor, You see a change in the demeanor of the person asking you to stay late tomorrow night. They may say it's OK but it's really not and their body language gives it away. Having been in sales for so long I can read people. No matter how great the nanny thinks the relationship is with the employer, it's usually because most of the time, the nanny acquiesces to the employers wants and needs.
This isn't to say I agree with the posting that nanny made where she says she does a poor job and blames her employer's treatment of for it. But I think many people in the childcare profession don't understand the nature of the business, or human nature itself. I also think many employers of nannies, whether they care to admit it or not, look down upon us in many ways. We are the hired help, so to speak, and as such we are expected to do what you require. Because we do a very specialized job that requires a great deal of personal commitment and involvement in your lives, you forget that we deserve to be treated with as much respect as you would treat any other professional, co-worker or business employee. I think this idea gets lost because your kids spit up on us, we clean their behinds, we have keys to your home and car and we are a part of your daily lives so much more so than any other employee. My job is more important than any other job in the world. In an hour I will go to work and be responsible for the protection, well-being and every day needs of a child. YOUR child. This has more at stake for me than any deal I closed or any account I ever managed. One mistake, one slip up and disaster can happen. This is why we burn out quickly, and this is why it's so important for employers to recognize a good nanny when they are fortunate enough to find one and compensate accordingly. Not just with money, but with loyalty and respect. respect above all else and it must be constant. Your children are so important to we nannies who love them. Thanks for reading.
PS, I don't want anyone to think I am ranting against this blog or Jane. I think this place is great and Jane does a great job!
onenanny'svoice:
well said. you sound amazing! everything you said was so true. thank you for your post!
Dear One ...
I thought you wrote a very provacative post, well done.
But I take exception to your first paragraph:
"This place and the bloggers here really don't like it when nannies rant. At most, they will tell the nanny she's being treated horribly, look for other work, and wish her luck. Some will tell her the job is what it is and if she doesn't like it look for other employers or other work. And some will tell her she allows herself to be a doormat and so she deserves it. They don't say it in so many words but the meaning is clear enough."
Honestly, what are we supposed to say? All we can really do IS offer support.
If your not happy with it, what do you suggest was say to an unhappy nanny?
And that is absolutely not true, we do not mind ranting nannies ... just the one's that say they will hide crappy diapers in every crevice of your house.
And even thought you don't want to hear this - I'm sorry your family isn't working out. I hope you find someone that treats you with the respect you deserve.
2;02, Tanks for the good wishes, they are appreciated.
I figured many might take the first paragraph wrong and not as it was intended and I might have rewritten it had I not hit send so soon. That's why I added the PS. The support is great when given, but too often I see negative responses like "find another job" and such. That is so much easier said than done in our case.
The point of my post was not to offend anyone here or to attack the blog or Jane, as I said I think this is a great idea and I will add is much needed. My post is only intended to make those of you who hire nannies, babysitters or care providers to realize just how important we are to you and your children, and how important your children are to us. We become so close to your family and get involved so deeply and so quickly, that it becomes very easy for human nature to take over and for the employer to become comfortable and begin to take advantage. I like to believe most employers don't so this intentionally.
I do on call babysitting to supplement my nanny income and I can tell you I am treated with much more ongoing respect and consideration by the families I see once in a while than by either of the regular families I work, or have worked for every day.
I am hoping my post is seen and read by as many employers with great nannies as possible and they always remember the job we do. We are you when you can't be there. And though that may make you jealous it's what you want, and more importantly, it's what your children need.
Telling someone to find another job isn't always the answer. It might be the action that the backstabber would like you to take, but hang in there and continue doing your best, as I'm sure you always do.
I think you were given some very good advice by some very caring posters. I've found that on here, the posters are usually very fair about determining who needs a bit of advice or support. It seems you needed a bit of both! I hope you will be strong enough to know when enough is enough and never be afraid to speak up when you are in the right. Take care.
OneNanniesopinion
I really thought your post was exceptional and look forward to seeing many more from you.
Thanks.
for an occasional sitter to get that involved in the life of an entire family plus nanny is a clue that she doesn't have all her cards in order. she has another job? why is she so into the family you work for. i say red light warning. why doesn't the mom see that?
The mom doesn't see it because people like that are very good at what they do. Conniving manipulators. That's what's so frustrating...it's often hard to get people to see the truth....so the "victim" goes on being victimized while the evildoer looks more and more wonderful.
Haven't we all known people like this? My sister in law is just like that. And it's true what the person above said, when you get rid of one there is sure to be another somewhere down the road. Not all are as evil as this one sounds...but there are a fair number of her caliber out there too.
I dont know what you are going to do OP, but don't speak to this other sitter. Not one word. Anything you say, she will craft into something to use against you. Give her no information.
The good news? People like this end up alone.
Don't let this rat bastard cost you your job or in any way get the jump on you! She is making you so miserable you came her to rant.
Tell your boss rather casually, "Sitter makes me uncomfortable the way she is always asking questions about the personal lives of people who live and work in this home". It is unlikely the sitter has asked your boss about herself to her, but rather she has poked around about you and the housekeeper. Make sure your boss realizes that someone like that does play every person and without a shred of loyalty (least she think that the sitter is doing her any favors)!
Wow! I have met these people in my job and just beware of them. Back stabbing all the while commiting deeds like theft and because you are getting wise to them are making you look bad.
I think I would be straight forward with my boss and say "you know the babysitter is making it sound like I stole your boots" I really hope you don't believe that of me. Don't beat around the bush. She needs to know that she is asking all about their lives and then repeating what she finds out in a whole different way!
Tell her she said about the housekeeper and how she was angry because YOU didn't mop the floor.
Tell her you are hurt. Be4 honest because if you employer is a good person she will listen, if not then maybe your employer has more in common with this Btch than you think.
I mentioned early (on in my first response to this post) that the "occasional sitter" sounds like my boss. I love my charges, and put a lot of love into everything I do for this family, but...I'm about down to my last nerve with this crazy mom.
OP, it's a no-win situation with people who manipulate others "just because they can". The only thing saving my sanity is knowing this job will be ending soon... a fact that seems to have an "escalting" effect on the crazy woman I work for. Honestly, I hope the woman YOU work for will listen to reason when you speak with her about what's going on in her own house.
Dear "onenanniesopinion",
Well said. Thank you.
This did not make any sense. What are you talking about? I think you ust wanted some attention whoever you are.
Ugh, this woman sounds like my sister! And she wants to open a childcare and is working on a Master's degree in child development. Be afraid. Be very afraid (of my sister, that is.)
OP...and don't forget that there is a possibility that the mom is being lied about too and did not say the things about you that the occasional sitter is reporting. Think how mad she will be to find that out.
Talk to her SOON.
PS Curious...if they have ahousekeeper why would they want you to mop the floor?
"mom", you really annoy me most of the time, with your long-winded, sometimes off-point stories. But I gotta say, this time...? Way to go! You gave great advice to the OP. Glad she took it.
I love mom's long-winded, annoying stories!
i'm not a big fan of mom. she is just way way too long-winded.
Well, we aren't going to go there again, are we? Every damn week somebody has to pick on a regular.
You are allowed your opinion, but I bet you that some idiot will see this as a free-for-all and make some dumbass slanderous comment.
Love her or not, Mom definately helped the Nanny in the "General Messiness" thread with all of her advice.
And that's commendable.
YOu know "MOM" doesn't trash other posters and maybe she does get long winded if it bothers you don't read it. She is trying to help someone and is not nitpicking others posts.
mom does need to trim it down a bit. either that or get a blog of her own.
for those who think Mom is too long- winded:
1. take up speed reading
2. skim Mom's posts
3. skip Mom's posts
4. get the Cliff notes :-)
Mom is Mom. She doesn't need to change to please anyone, much less some anonymous sh*t stirrer.
Well, thank you to the people who are being so nice to me here. I appreciate it.
I still don't understand why anybody would bother to read a really long post by somebody they don't enjoy reading (my name is always right there at the top and you can quickly scroll to see how long it is)and then bother to spend yet more time posting a complaint about the time they have just wasted. But I guess it takes all kinds.
LOL @ Sprak. I can always count on you to cut to the nitty-gritty. Thanks!
Good morning Mom! ☺
OP-your boss needs to be reminded of the serious offense it is to accuse someone of stealing from them, even if it is just boots. I had a housekeeper whom I knew was stealing from me. I couldn't confront her because I didn't have actual proof of her physically taking jewelry or expensive sunglasses. On the advice of a lawyer, I made up some excuse as to why I didn't need her any longer to get rid of her.
To the naysayers, I'm not a jewelry wearer so the ojects in question sat in their boxes in a drawers in my bedroom. This is how I knew they were taken.
So what happened?
Not to continue straying off topic (like we always do haha) but I have to say, I like mom...and I don't think she was looking to make "fans" when she joined the site any way. Spraks obviously a genius amongst a sea of anonymous illiterates as well, scroll if you have an issue 'nuff said, I personally enjoy reading. ;)
OP, talk to your boss. I grew up with a sister who is a sociopath, she wrecked every relationship in my life and almost my Wedding before I finally told her "bye bye" and realized that there is no room in life for 'psychic vampires' who live to drain you of all joy. People like this are excellent liars, I'm sure she has your boss completely fooled, talk to her before it's too late and this woman has her turn on you.
I am the OP of this post. I am considering all that was said and thinking about how to sit my boss down and have a talk with her. I should make it clear that a pair of boots were stolen. And I do wear the same size as my boss. My boss knows this and so does the temp nanny because she received two pair of berkinstock slide shoes even though she ordered one and she gave me a pair. They aren't really my style but I appreciated it and wore them. Not only would I not ever steal from anyone, but I wouldn't steal from someone that I had to look in the eye and I wouldn't steal something as obvious as a pair of boots when I wear the same size as her. I really think the occas sitter is the one who stole the boots. She's a bad seed. And you are right, why is she so focused on me, my job and my boss? She has a full time job. She has a fiance and a family. It's very, very odd!
My plan is to tell my boss that some of the things she has said to me make me uncomfortable, especially when it appears she is digging for information about my employers or what I make or if I get insurance or how much she spent on my birthday present. I as graciously as possible brush off these questions, but I really feel that it doesn't matter if I answer or not, that her goal is to report something negative back.
What a headache.
Beware of sitters who seem to be good to be true. BEcause that is exactly how she seemed at first. My employers and I were both complimenting her to each other.
And now, she is making my sick. I am losing sleep over what this part timer is up to. Would you believe what the person above said about the same sort of person who emailed the coworker's husband? She is now emailing my boss every day. About what? They are 20 years a part. They don't have anything in common at all. I know how she likes to talk and she gets in good with people by talking badly about the next person.
Ohh I am getting sick again just thinking about it. I hope there is a way in tomorrow to sit my boss down without being too dramatic. I dont want to come off like I am jealous. I really think she is just poison to the whole house.
Dear OP:
The crazy, manipulative part-time sitter you're dealing will not change her ways.
The best way to approach your boss about this is:
1. In an environment away from the prying eyes and ears of the part-timer.
2. Tell your boss you're most concerned with the proper and safe running of her household and the safe and healthy management of the kids, not your own troubles.
3. Say you want to make sure there is a peaceful environment for the kids and your employers and you're worried that the part-timer might be a creating problems.
4. Don't make any accusations you can't back up with evidence and discuss everything with your boss calmly and in a friendly upbeat manner. Make sure your boss knows you're bringing this up because of your loyalty to your job, not because the part-timer is a psycho bitch from hell who is making your life difficult.
I think the part-timer may have it in for you and may be able to convince your boss to get rid of you in the future. Be prepared for this possibility and protect your emotions and your reputation at all costs.
I wish you all the best.
Just try to remain calm, and don't get worked up when speaking to your Boss. State the facts, without bad mouthing this "Part-time Parasite".
Hopefully your Boss will take your tenure into consideration, and trust your word.
Good luck, let us know what happens.
Just to mix things up a bit...
Who feels bad for the poor hungry coyote who is injured and will either die a slow, painful death of starvation due to said injury or who will be found and instantly euthanized?
I mean... we did sort of intrude on their land and without them, we would never have come to know the much evolved descendent that is man's best friend!
Seriously. ;)
So that was weird...
I clicked the coyote post to comment on, it opened up this post.
I x-ed it out and clicked on the coyote post again, typed up my little comment and hit send... and it posted it to this one! Sorry.
texas nanny
yes, we've intruded on the living space of coyotes, mountain lions, wildlife of all kinds and human beings are bastards.
I agree with you, but in this case the focus is on the safety of a toddler. Because we're selfish bastard human beings, we tend to put our young ones first before the rest of the wild kingdom.
Just the way it is, unfair as it may be.
In the case of the coyote and humans infringing on its territory, the coyote is the cockroach of the animal kingdom. It can survive anywhere and live under the harshest of conditions. The coyote population is on its way to spreading from coast to coast, if it hasn't already. It may be time to put a bounty on them again as we've had to in the past due to them causing more harm than good.
They kill every Mt Lion and wolf that intrudes in "our space". I don't agree with killing tnose animals but theya re coming into back yards now and attacking dogs,cats and people. WE have used up their habitats but we can't let them eat our young either. Once these poor animals find that there is food available be it your garbage or pets they will keep coming back. They can't relocate them unless they take them to the wilds of Wyoming or Montanna and they are not going to do that. Costs too much money .
Coyotes are out of control because we're of control with our movement into their territory, our constant production of garbage which attracts coyotes, our messing with the ecosystem that used to keep a balance between predators and their prey.
It's our fault and so is most of the war, famine and mess in the world.
We're a menace to the planet and always have been the most dangerous beings in the universe.
11:10 I find myself overwhelmingly curious. You state that people are responsible for most of the war in the world. So who, then, is responsible for the rest?
This poor nanny who came here to rant, was besmirched, barely got any useful advice and tomorrow has to deal with whatever crap the saturday sitter through her way, and you people are posting about coyotes-should be the may 3 thread- in her post!
It's almost like the patient who goes to the therapist and complains that no one listens to her and the therapist is busy taking other calls and moving his office around.
OP please let us know how everything turns out, okay?
I feel that the OP got lots of advice in spite of what you think 11:37. Maybe you need to refer back to some of the posts that offer some pretty solid advice. Only the OP can help herself. By remaining silent, she is allowing the sly usurper to make her look bad. Hopefully, she will speak up as several posters have recommended, and in such a way as to make it clear to her employers that there is a serious problem in the household.
Hmmm, and here I thought my advice was pretty sound.
Undercover, yes, your advice was good as was that of several other posters, in spite of what the anonymous nitwit at 11:37 thinks. Where do these idiots come from?
The idiots come from France. Just like the Coneheads. Everyone knows that.
hee hee
I know, I was just joking.
Damn, never was good at sarcasm!
"In the case of the coyote and humans infringing on its territory, the coyote is the cockroach of the animal kingdom" There's a great statement from "the genius"
I *think* the cockroach is the cockroach of the animal kingdom.
And I think Sprak is the cockroach of the human race. Too bad we can't put a bounty on Sprak. I'd be first in line to sign up.
The Coyote is adapting to survive as we infringe upon it's territory. It's learning to survive on a different diet and live in less space with other adverse conditions, like pollution and climate changes and do on. Sound familiar? It's much like we humans.
ANYONE who calls for a bounty to be put out on an animal guilty of just trying to survive is less than a cockroach, and should be treated accordingly.
Give it a rest already. This is so yesterday.
Dear 9:24,
What Sprak meant by her comment was that coyotes are much like cockroaches in their amazing ability to adapt and thrive in ever changing and adverse situations.
Simmer down now.
And maybe you would like to apologize to Sprak for flying off the handle and insulting her with no cause.
S.F.T.P.O.C.M.
9:24 will do no such thing. This is most assuredly one of the trolls that has nothing better to do than to insult a poster just because they don't agree with their opinion.
They are a waste of space.
Wile E Coyote, LOVE the moniker.
Just ignore Sprak, she ususally talks out an end designed to spew something other than words. And as far as owing an apology, put it on account against all the apologies Sprak owes and never gives.
Hey "spakroach"
^^^^^^^^
You are an idiot!
HaHaHaHa!!!
I think 10:30 is sufficiently embarassed now, lol!
Wile E could be a troll...OR...Maybe Wile E. Is an animal rights person. In that case, maybe they were angered by the call for a bounty on the animal. Which kind of negates any argument that Sprak was praising the coyote's ability to survive. In any event, Sprak has certainly flung her fair share of insults at people for no other reason than they disagreed with her. What's good for the goose...
10:36 hardly.
unome (hey, you took mine! Youknowme, lol)
Anyway, I respect your post much more than I would any other. I don't agree with it, but you got your point across without flinging insults like 10:30 did.
Thank you.
YKM, and here I thought I was being so clever! LOL
I try not to fling insults at anyone, I feel it makes my point moot and makes me seem less intelligent.
Sprak is a controversial poster here, and I can't say I agree with her often. So, the best thing for me to do is ignore it. If I absolutely feel I must say something, I try to say it as fairly as I can, using language and tone I wouldn't mind used on me.
As for the animal rights people, I have had a few experiences with them myself, and they can be quite emotional. I won't say if that's good or bad, but they do tend to get very passionate about their beliefs. WEC struck me as one, and I suspect is a regular using another moniker, like myself.
Unome
Why, you ARE clever. You came up with the same idea as me! LOL
Anyway, again - I agree with your post. And WEC probably is a reg., like us - and that's because we won't stamp our name on our post for fear of reprisal.
I have to laugh once more at some of these posts. Having devoted hours and hours of my time volunteering for the Humane Society here where I live, I guess my devotion to saving and rescuing animals doesn't extend to an overpopulation of a dangerous breed of animals who, according to the news reports, have made several attacks on small children. For that, I do not and will not ever apologize. Evidently, many of you have taken the side of the coyotes. I choose the children. Have a great day.
Sprak, everytime someone critcizes your opinion, you "laugh" or insult, then you either dismis the opposing point of view as worthless and idiotic. OR you go on your soapbox about all the good you do, OR you feign innocense. And you have your small army who rush to your defense,
It's sad that regulars like the two, possibly three earlier and myself don't want to post under our regular monikers, I share YKM's reasoning in that as well.
I share the belief echoed by others towards you in different posts from different blogs. You seem like a very unhappy person.
And I have to laugh at the notion that anyone who claims to rescue some animals would call for a bounty on others.
More domestic dogs killed and maimed children last year than coyotes.
I too am an animal lover, but what Sprak has ot say about the coyotes is although very sad and not their fault) TRUE.
In Montana (also Yellowstone area in Wyoming), where somebody above suggested we send the surplus coyotes, they had a "save the wolves" program going for some time, which prevented people from being allowed to shoot wolves. Now there is an unnaturally large population of wolves, which have become a menace. The wolves overhunt the other natural animal species and the balance is thrown off. No, it is not good when we mess with nature and it is very sad when animals have to be moved or killed as a result. But to suggest that we need to let human children be in danger is even more unfair.
The world has always been a survival of the fittest place. Species are killed off all the time. I agree that we humans have nt acted irresponsibly...but the problem we have created has to be solved, as distasteful as that reality may be to all who love animals. Attacks, disease, etc., will be the end result if we don't do something differently.
Well said, Mom. I am also in agreement with Sprak's point, which many seem to have missed.
If you read my post, then you know I didn't insult anyone's opinion but found the insults to me ironic and laughable due to the rescue work I've done for years, which, to the best of my knowledge, I've NEVER shared on here before. Neither do I recall commenting about "all the good I do." Perhaps you are thinking of someone else?
As for thinking it might be time to eliminate a few coyotes in order to ensure the safety of children, I will leave that judgment up to the local authorities.
Just so you know Wil e, all dogs that come to the shelter are not suitable for placement in homes due to their aggressiveness and are put down. This is heartbreaking to me, but those in charge feel it is necessary.
Me2reg: I really can't imagine what other blogs you are referring to wherein my posts disturb you so much and convince you of my unhappiness. Again, perhaps you are thinking of someone else? I have a few ideas of my own about why you and others of your ilk do not like to admit to your postings. Perhaps you lack the strength of your convictions? Maybe it is easier to insult me anonymously or with some ridiculous (clever?) handle? Or is it that you couldn't debate your way out of a paper bag? Whatever the cause of your cowardice, it doesn't matter to me if you agree with me or not. I fully realize that humans have encroached on the habitats of wild animals all over this country. Right now, however, we have to deal with the problems at hand. It does no good to look back. We must look forward and take proper measures to preserve what is left of our natural environments for the future, in order that further problems are prevented, as in the case of the baby who was attacked by the coyote.
Sprak, I wonder if you realize you resort to the same name calling BS ALL THE TIME. You've done it to me and countless others. And what the hell is so brave about using some meaningless (Clever?) nickname like Oh, Sprak, for instance? Does that give away any information about you at all? Not really, so why does that make you brave? Just because you happen to use a moniker? Give me a break.
As for debating, it really only seems to matter to you, as you will debate until the cows come home. Not everyone wants to debate for hours on end on a blog over nonsense. You love it because your ilk, Sprak, is that of a cleverly disguised net troll.
Want to talk about a misunderstood animal? My daughter is out to save the SHARKS!!!! Try winning a debate with people on THAT subject! :D
Oh brave anonymous one who accuses me of calling you names. What names? When and in what context? That's why you're a coward. There is no substance to your post ... or might I add proof of your accusations about me? Can't be specific? Well, then, I can't take your jabber seriously. Cheers.
Let Sprak have the last word, it's the only thing that will shut her up. It's the only thing that ever works.
I see your point, Sprak. I guess I am holding some resentment towards you from past arguments with you.
I am not trying to cause trouble, and I've said my peace.
OP, I would really love to hear what happens after you talk to your employer. I'll be thinking good thoughts to send your way! Best of luck with that.
And as for all the shiteous comments by a load of snarky posters? Grow up. I don't care if you're a nanny or a parent. In either case, you sound like a clique of school girls who have nothing better to do with their time. The anonymity of the internet sure makes you feel brave and bold, doesn't it?
OP, I would really love to hear what happens after you talk to your employer. I'll be thinking good thoughts to send your way! Best of luck with that.
And as for all the shiteous comments by a load of snarky posters? Grow up. I don't care if you're a nanny or a parent. In either case, you sound like a clique of school girls who have nothing better to do with their time. The anonymity of the internet sure makes you feel brave and bold, doesn't it?
Um, yeah - that was our point, GL.
So, thanks.
I don't know who the hell 5:56 is but it certainly was not me. Pathetic people can't even think up their own moniker
Why, do you have a trademark on your moniker?
Get a grip, gumpy!
Why do you care "anon *THE* brave", whatever the hell that means. It's not like you'll actually be brave enough to continue to use it, huh?
LMAO!
Arguing about Coyotes, you people are too much.
Everytime I come hery, which believe me is not often, I can be assured of a good laugh. Because any thread that has more than 40 comments is almost certainly a flame war. Thanks for the yucks guys, you never disappoint!
Oh I meant HERE but have fun with the typos guys, I'm sure you will!
LMAO
If it's so much F-U-N, you should come more often!
Sprak, the queen of nasty name calling deserves an apology?! ROTFLMAO!
I didn't see where sprak asked for an apology? I doubt she'd want one but I can't figure out why she'd be the queen of nasty on this blog after reading many of the anonymous posts and some of the others on here. I suspect there's one thin skinned person that just can't let it go, whatever it is.
it's always the anons attacking the people who have the guts to put their names on their posts.
Ain't that the truth!
It did not work out the way I had hoped it would. I waited until my boss had time which ended up being yesterday after work. As I tried to speak to her, she was tapping her foot and behaving impatiently. She caused me to rush my words so it didn't come out as composed as I had hoped. I told her that the sitter made me uncomfortable because she seemed to always be prying for information about the family, their finances and our relationship. She told me I was being overly sensitive, reminded me that I was all for occasional sitter when she started and that she only hired occasional sitter so that I could take the class I wanted. She then suggested that I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.
I said, "no, that isn't it at all"
She stared at me blankly.
I blurted out, "I never stold your boots".
She said, "I never accused you of stealing my boots". She seemed shocked.
I said, "I know, YOU didn't".
She said, "Oh, I see". Then she looked at me long and hard and said, "well that sort of nonsense I won't stand for"
Now I stare blankly trying to decipher what she means.
She says, "Occas Sitter will be here tomorrow and I'll speak with her".
By then the children had gathered around their mother, so I said my good-byes.
This morning when I arrived, Mom had left for an early meeting, so I dealt with Dad. Dad was as friendly as ever. I get the feeling he doesn't even know about our conversation.
Now I am left wondering what she intends to speak to occasional sitter about. I quite honestly feel like the situation is about to get much worse.
OP
So sorry it went the way it did.
Hopefully she means that she will speak to the Occ. sitter about possibly being the 'boot bandit'?
You spoke your mind, and that's what matters, so you should at least feel good about that.
If you had kept quiet while this escalated, you would be feeling much worse because you didn't stand up for yourself.
Hopefully it will work out. Let us know what happens, and good luck.
I'm sorry OP.
But don't worry yet. Maybe by "I see" she meant she realized the occasional sitter was making false accusations and it suddenly dawned on her what you were trying to say. It could very easily be exactly that and your situation could get better instead of worse.
I know this will probably be impossible...but try not to think the worst until you have to.
Good luck. You sound like a really nice person.
OP, have you considered tape recording the sitter? I know it sounds over the top but could you imagine if you could somehow get some of her weird behavior towards you on tape? Another thing you could do is after each encounter with the sitter, immediately record on paper exactly what was said with the date and the time included. I feel like when people have facts documented it is much more powerful and will help you feel prepared next time to talk to your boss.
Oops I meant with a voice recorder, not a video camera. Maybe sneak a little one in your jacket?
She is just full of envy. So miserable on the inside. And she finds delight in causing chaos. Can you hear her laughing?
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