Received Friday, May 9, 2008
On Monday at 9:30am I was in the park with my daughter. A nanny was sitting on the bench next to me leaning forward with her head resting in her hands. She was AA short hair, black Adidas baseball cap, royal blue jacket and jeans. I realized she was sleeping. I was trying to figure out who she was watching but couldn't until your son started to climb the arched ladder in the sand pit. He was clearly not able to do it on his own (looked about 20mo). I was about to jump up to spot him when she opened her eyes and rushed over there to scold him. She took him down, came back to bench and closed her eyes again. I was at the park to 45 minutes and never saw her interact or play with your child and he was just wandering around the sand pit the whole time. If this were my nanny I would want to know that she is clearly disinterested in your child and her job.
63 comments:
I am thrilled to see humans helping humans by watching each others nannies. This is a stellar site. Young Earthlings are the future and deserve to be protected. It certainly does take a village (or a planet) to raise a child.
This sounds like me a few months back..I am a nanny. Went to work,walked the kids to the park as usual,about 15 minutes into our play at the park, I felt a migraine coming on.It hit fast and hard.
Not much I could do at this point.
Before i knew it..I was sitting in the grass with my head in my hands..it was horrible. I suppose any one who saw me would think the same as the OP felt about said nanny,however..there was literally nothing I could do.
My charges were on their own for a few minutes too off & on.I tried to keep them close but they were full of energy and I was not!
Called my boss at work..no answer.
I ended up asking another nanny for a ride home. We had no car seats for my charges but made it home safe.
My charges are only 22months and 3yrs..it was horrible to get stuck like that.
I felt horrible and apologized to my boss..thank God she understood.
I hope this nanny too, was having an off day and not just ignoring her charges.
Excuse me, but did you just say that you took your charges in a car without a car seat and one of them was a 22 month old toddler?
Uh...uh....
I am speechless.
:(
:(
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You transported your charges car with no car seats and your boss was "understanding". I would have fired you on the spot. I've suffered from migraines in the past, and I know how debilitating they can be, but some things are absolutely inexcusable and that is one of them. I am speechless.
As the father of two young children I applaud that people try and point out neglectful child care workers. My kids are my life and I couldn't imagine my feelings if I knew they weren't being properly taken care of.
433,
So you had driven and had carseats in your car? I don't get it. If a headache can be that debilitating what would happen if you had one while driving? Why would someone hire someone who suffered from migraines? Take an excederin already. What danger do you put your charges in when Aunt Flo visits??
6.33 you are a total jackass, dont hire someone with a migraine. what kind of human being are you. in an emergency people have to do certain things. but making such a statement is really sinking too low.
Ugh I hate when people call their kids 22 months. How about "almost two."
I get a headaches 3 out of 5 days a week. a double espesso, i tylenol and 1 asprin kills it in 15 min. if not nipped in the butt ASAP i am worn out for 2-3hours min.
i think its because i use a sling to carry the baby.
Even though using no car seat was wrong... get over it people. what about when we use cabs to say go to the hospital? they don't have car seats.
anyone who gets migraines know that it puts you out completely. i can't even open my eyes when i get a migraine. give her some slack and take the sticks out of your perfect uptight asses.
I think we're off topic here. I know Bleeker park and it is on a VERY busy busy street and the gate can be opened by and almost two year old. There is NO excuse for falling asleep while in a NYC playground. The outskirts of that park are home to vagrants and Lord knows what else. I am a nanny and work the standard 60 hour week I don't fall asleep in the house let alone in the playground. Go to bed earlier. Don't put a child in danger because you haven't had enough sleep. Good grief.
As for not properly strapping in the children above, no excuse I'm sorry. And to also make an excuse for the sleeping sitter! If she had a headache she should have walked home. End of story.
Hey WREN..obviously you have never had a migraine>>and obviously you are ignorant to the fact that they truly can be that debilitating.. within minutes a true migraine can have you vommiting and blur your vision>,it is often all you can do to keep your eyes open or hold your head up>>>Cramps from a period are NOTHING compared to a migraine..and if you re-read the post you will see that the OP walked to the park and that is why there were no carseats.
What on earth is wrong with some of you?
Yes, this nanny put her charges in danger because she is a bad , selfish ,lazy and weak(according to Wren) nanny.You are all right there is no excuse for her behavior!
Do you all feel better now?? Because that is truly what you wanted to hear!
My Gosh ..who are you people?
How sad for that poor little boy. I do hope his parents jobs are 'worth it' to leave him in that person's care.
619..please tell us what you might have done so we can learn from you?
Sincerely, a migraine mama
Working one night in a hospital on a med surg floor...I had my first migraine ever. I was mid liftof a patient and had to stop and sit on that nasty floor...I felt instantly like I was going to vomit. The pain was so intense. I lost feeling in my hands, and started to drool. In about 2 mins I was vomiting beyond my control...all of this happened in a period of 5 mins...from fine to ready to die. I can't imagine having 3 little ones and being at the park....I had nurses around me who took me down to the ER. If I found myself in that situation I would have done the same thing...Yeah you know unattended kids and no carseats doesn't really seem like good choices, but you do what ya gotta do when it's taking over your head like that...
4:33, my sister suffers terrible migraines, they can hit without warning and render you helpless. Anyone can get one for the first time, no one is immune. Anyone can suffer a medical emergency. Anyone can feel sick to their stomach without warning. When that happens, you don't always act and think clearly. Taking the kids in the car without a car seat poses danger, yes. But under special circumstances like this, I like to think I would be sympathetic as your employer. However, if you suffer repeat, debilitating migraines you really can't be responsible for such young children. There is also medical help for certain migraine cases. I urge you to seek it and to look for work in another field where babies aren't depending solely on you for their safety. Best wishes to you.
As for this nanny it sounds like she is negligent to me. Being the witch I am I would have gone over and ask if she were feeling ok. When she said yes I would have told her to please get off her butt and do her job then. But we all know how I am! :D Good post OP, I hope the parents see this and check up on their nanny.
To the nanny with the migraine problem.
Here's what you should have done: STAY with your charges at the park! Ask that nanny you trusted to help you. Give her some cash and ask her to drive to a nearby convenience store to buy you some Tylenol or Excedrin and a bottle of water. While she's gone, force yourself to focus on the kids (maybe HER charges as well) in spite of your migraine!
When she returns, take the painkillers with the water and stay at the park, continue to phone your employer on your cell. After one hour, if you don't hear back from them, call a taxi cab. Transfer your child-safety car seats to the cab, put your charges in the seats, climb in the cab with them and have the taxi driver take you back to your employer's home.
Once you're there, let the kids have a meal and watch a video or do something relaxing for all of you (reading or doing a simple art project). Continue on with your day as well as you can and when your employers finally come home, tell them what happened. Take the following day off if possible and see a doctor. Have your doctor prescribe the proper medications for handling your migraines and get some rest.
Anything is possible if you plan ahead. Always have a cell phone, a first-aid kit, a credit card and at least $20 cash with you when you go anywhere with your charges. You never know what might happen.
Also, ask one of your employers to drive you back to the park at the end of your workday so you can retrieve your car.
AND don't forget to take the car seats out of the cab when you arrive back at your employer's house!
Oops, just realized the "migraine nanny" walked to the park!
Okay, then just take the painkillers, wait for a while until they kick in and then walk your charges back home!
It's only a "15 minute" walk, right? So I'm sure you could have made it after taking a Tylenol or two.
Anyway, the point is, driving any distance with kids OUT of car seats is illegal in most states and NOT OKAY.
Holy crap, I'm so ADD tonight. Final comment: walk did not take 15 minutes, but they had been playing for about 15 minutes, right?
Well, however far the walk from home to park was (I'm sure it didn't take too long), take the meds, wait a while and WALK.
There, I'm done (and exhausted). I think I'm getting a migraine...LOL
As a migraine sufferer myself, I can sympathize with that kind of pain.
However, knowing that you suffer from migraines, you need to make an appointment with a doctor and get a prescription so next time you feel one coming on, you can lessen the intensity and duration.
That is taking responsibility.
This was not a post about migraines! It was about a nanny falling ASLEEP at the park with a 2 year old! Stop all the bickering about migraines and address the actual issue at hand. When there are two year olds at the park you should not close your eyes AT ALL. They can be gone in a flash.
This is ridiculous. There is no way on God's green Earth we know whether that nanny had a bad headache, or a bad case of the lazies.
I'm sure it would be pretty coincidental for that to have been her first migraine right then and there. And since it probably wasn't, she should've been prepared, or taken her meds., or any of the other things that people with migraines have to do for themselves. But for those that suggest "pop a Tylenol", I laugh at your naivety. As a migraine sufferer since the age of 11, they do not work. It's useless to us.
This was probably just a tired nanny that should've had more sleep the night before, or had a fight with her boyfriend, or was pissed because her Employer asked her to clean the kitty litter and she was still stewing ...
I mean, we really don't know.
But she should've kept an eye on the kid, it was her prime responsiblity.
Shame on the migraine nanny who hijacked this thread with her tales of woe, looking for a possible excuse for a nanny that should be poked with a cattle prod.
Sleeping on the job?
Fire her.
Anything could happen.
Migraines Schmigraines, dont you all have Yahoo group you can commiserate at? All of this migraine banter really made my eyes hurt.
Seriously. I second that Wren must have never had a migraine. It's not excuse for not using a car seat, but I certainly would never compare migraines to periods.
I suffered severe and frequent migraines as a child and at times had even considered suicide (that's right! A 10 year old NOT WANTING TO LIVE ANYMORE because of such pain) ...until, of course, I saw a specialist and was properly medicated!
I agree with Ro on this one.
This post is not about migraines. This post is about a nanny that was sleeping.
That is the subject at hand. This is absolutely unforgivable. Next time you see a nanny sleeping, please take her photograph!
As if other posts never go off topic.
I don't think the nanny Hi-Jacked this thread as much as offered an alternative explanation as to the nanny's behavior. In all likelihood, this is just a lazy nanny, but the other nanny is entitled to her POV.
What You Should Have Done,
If you truly sufferer migraines and over the counter remedies work for you, you are very fortunate. My friend suffers from them and never had any indication ahead of time. She would just suddenly feel sick, start vomiting, and then get a splitting headache that lasted anywhere from 4 to 36 hours. During that time, she couldn't swallow a pill, or a sip of water, without heaving. As she only started suffering from them in her mid-30's, she had to hire a live-in nanny while her children were very young just in case.
I agree with MM's advice that someone suffering from repeat, severe migraines, should not be entrusted with tye care of young children. They should also seek medical help as a bad migraine can really be a symptom of another serious medical condition. T
This Nanny OP saw was likely NOT suffering from a migraine, instead she was probably suffering from LNS (Lazy Nanny Syndrome)
FNG:
I agree with you about what you said with the nanny suffering from LNS. Lazy Nanny Syndrome. *LOL* If she does suffer from migraines, then it is her responsibility to get the treatment so the condition doesn't affect her work. If she "suffers" to the point that her job is affected, perhaps she shouldn't work with children, as she falls asleep on the job.
I have epilepsy, something that I have had since 1 year of age due to an accident. I have been seizure free since 1994, and am what my sister calls "gifted", since I know when I am about to have a seizure. The back of my head near my spine starts to hurt, and I get very pale. Something feels "off" to me, and I typically lose control of my muscles, blackout and regain my senses after about 5-10 minutes of shaking. I work with children, and have for a long time, and do everything I am supposed to do-get enough sleep, eat properly and exercise, and I don't have seizures. I no longer take medication, and don't need to. And this nanny falls asleep in the park? Unbelievable.
Something else I would like to offer as possible but unlikely.
I was diagnosed with diabetes recently. The only symptom which led me to schedule an appointment with my doctor after a few weeks of it appearing was I would fall asleep. It didn't matter where I was either! At work, at home, driving, whenever! Turns out, when my blood sugar would drop, I would fall asleep. I would like to add this is not a typical symptom and other factors contributed to it. I tend to be anemic and am a poor sleeper to begin with so the sugar level sinking knocked me out.
I still stand by my thinking that this nanny OP encountered likely has LNS, but anyone that can sleep in a park should get themselves checked.
Not sure what this nanny's problem was (the nanny in the original post), but whether it was a headache, illness or sheer laziness, she should not be working while she's so out of it.
Being responsible for children is an important thing, and I take it very seriously. As a result, I've been a career nanny for more than 20 years and NEVER fell asleep on the job! The children I've loved and cared for have done very well in their lives (four are now attending Ivy league universities, two are successful actors and the rest are healthy, happy, secure individuals growing more and more everyday). And yes, I take great pride in the fact that I helped guide these young people in their early years.
Be a great nanny, or don't bother being a nanny at all!
Hey RO..while you make some good points on occassion..would you stop already with the whole"shame on so & so and the hijacking bit" you do it on every single post that has something to offer other than your opinion!
This has alot to do with adding fuel to the fire and getting feathers ruffled..let people have their say already! when you do that it automatically puts people on the defense and the posts go downward rather quickly.
12:53
I guess you're going to go after Ro on this thread, huh?
Look out, Ro.
(Gee .... isn't Ro ANOTHER regular?)
Looks like we'd all be better off as anonymous anymore. That way, everybody stays safe.
I don't understand people looking for reasons to excuse the behavior of sleeping nannies. We know from past experience it becomes an epidemic in late spring/summer.
The whole point of this blog is to alert the parents of how their nanny is treating the children or not. And now ole migraine and miss diabetes have minimized the fact that a nanny fell asleep for such a period of time by offering possible excuses and pity. So someone reading this is possibly less likely to see this as neglect-which it is and forward it to the people they know in that area.
So, again. stop your pissing and moaning about your own medical malladies. This is not a perspective post. It's a nanny sighting of a nanny that could have cost the children their lives. Please treat it with the respect it deserves!
I happen to agree with 12:53 on this one.
They didn't bash Ro, in fact they started out pretty positive. And they make a valid point. 6:12 AM, your post is very confrontational as well. Perhaps you are looking to start a problem through stealth trying to sound like an anonymous regular defending one?
Ro, everyone is entitled to their opinion, even those of us who wish to do something other than simply bash the nanny. Personally, I find it much more interesting when people offer varied opinions rather than reading post after post of people calling someone names. I stated twice that I thought this was a lazy nanny. I see no wrong in offering up a possible, no matter how unlikely, explanation. for what appears to be outright laziness. Perhaps the parents or someone who knows them might see it, and they might consider other possibilities for the nannies behavior. Perhaps they will actually approach her rationally and ask for an explanation before they fire her on the spot. In America you are innocent until proven guilty. I would like to believe that concept applies to nannies as well, except in the case of blatant, abuse or gross negligence.
And my name here is FNG, NOT Miss Diabetes. I will thank you not to call me that again please.
Normally I don't comment on other areas but will speak up here. Ro, if you wish to throw the word respect around please lead by example.
I read most of the comments, unless a blog goes down in flames. I must say, the lady speaking of her autistic child having a fit and people judging her and the child on the other blog really struck home. I am trying hard never to judge a situation anymore because I realize after reading her experience you never really know what's going on unless you are intimately involved. Whatever this nanny's reason for being asleep, it should be addressed. As others have pointed out she likely shouldn't be in charge of young children.
Agreed: we are all supposed to be mature people here. referring to anyone as "Miss Diabetes" is really juvenile and insulting.
Oh Ro, what happened?
... Miss Diabetes?
I don't mean to get involved here but I can't help it, this really hit close to home because it afficts so many people in my Family.
I really hope you were having an 'off' day yourself, because that comment was a bit insensitive.
Did the OP ask this nanny if she was ok? Did she ask if she needed help? It seems to me she was watching if she acted right away when the child was climbing. She may just have been shielding her eyes from bright light.
To me it sounds like she needs to go back to the factory to be reprogramed right away. This Robot is not functioning as she should. If she cannot be reprogramed not to get sick or have headaches then she should be destroyed right? After all they are not allowed to be sick or take their eyes off a child for one second only parents are allowed to do this. After all that is why they have robot nannies to watch their spawn. Op can't get the story correct. First she is totally ignoring the kid and sleeping. Then when as she is "just about to jump up and save the child" nanny beats her to the punch. She couldn't have been too sound asleep could she. If the OP was really concerned she would have asked if there was something wrong and if she needed any help.
Instead she beat feet back home and got on here and posted.
marypoppin'pills and all of the other regulars who quite often defend each other and tend to attack any outsider with a different thought..shame on you...asking"oh ro what happened" I hope you were having an off day"?
ARE you kidding me and I quote"way to fuck up a thread with your idiotic banter" end quote
ro said this when a poster obviously poted to the wrong post,and yes she was way off but who is ro to act so hostile toward her for it?
"again" "you my dear sound like a real nutter" ro posted this when she disagreed with what a poster had to say..
many of you regulars are very hostile and you have made it clear that it is ok for you to be that way but not for those of us who do not sit at the computer 20 hours a day with cute monikers waiting to jump on the next occassional visitor who wants to put there 2 cents in.
ro is not having an off day..her true colors just happen to be blazing right about now and for once there is not too much any of you can do but gawk...because you finally see it too.
craigslistcrusader..you are a very objective poster..thank you for a different perspective. It is refershing!
I would love to say maybe some will learn from your post..but I have been hanging around long enough to know that this "clique" just does not get it..it is there way or the highway..they are all seeing..all knowing and that is that.
10:31: valid point! , I am not shocked or even a little surprised by Ro's post, she just messed up, let her mask slip and attacked another well-liked regular, thus showing her true self. MPP was the only other regular with the courage to actually call her out, albeit weakly. But other than MPP, the silence has been deafening. I myself have wondered, where are the masses that would have raised holy hell had a newbie or anonymous poster called FNG Miss Diabetes? They don't know what to say. The obvious choice would be to treat Ro as they would anyone else, but they won't because she misspoke, she made an error. That's what they will offer as damage control. Even though Ro hasn't the class to apologize.
There are a few on here that offer excellent, impartial and different perspectives and that's why I keep coming back. I used to post under another moniker but don't anymore when a few of them turned on me a while back. I tend to skip over most of the regular's posts like Sprak, Ro and Cali Mom because I find their tone to be obnoxious, bitter and hateful towards most people, and they are usually the center of all flame wars here. Others are too blind to see that or they simply don't care. And before you all rush to their defense, I didn't say any of these people are obnoxious, bitter or hateful, just that to me, their tone seems that way. That's not an attack that's called having my own perspective. And I won't debate it further, respond to any verbal assaults against me or otherwise involve myself in any sort of flame war. I said my peace. I thank those who read it for taking the time to do so.
I must say I take offense to my post to Ro being called "weak".
I try not to be a trouble maker, and jumping on Ro and calling her names for what she said to FNG would've only made me look like a fool, and it would've served no purpose.
I apologize to those that had their popcorn ready and would've liked to have seen me fling some insults at her ... but I'm sure there are plenty of others willing to take my place.
I saw FNG react very gracefully when she responded to Ro's post - why is it up to me to put her in her place?
11:57 I could not have said it better myself!!
MPP..
you proved the point..because she is one of "you" it will be a weak attack..had the so called "demon Basher" (who by the way is several people, I know because I have been called that my self as well as blamed for several posts that I did not write))said exactly what you said just as you had said it..that would be all she wrote! Several of you woould have attacked her before she could get out the gate!!
Fng and Mpp reacted appropriately and maturely. They both said something to Ro because they were both affected personally in some way by her post.
Do you think Fng's post was weak because she didn't cuss her out? Of course not. We can sympathize with her because she was the one insulted.
I don't see too many regulars coming to Fng's rescue either, so I'm curious, if she is so well-liked, where are they?
11:57, very good post. I agree with what you said because you didn't get ugly about it, either.
You can make a point loud and clear without flaming someone and you did just that.
It feels like some of you are wringing your hands together and waiting with baited breath for there to be a flame war!
Yes Ro, you were wrong for saying what you did. Very uncouth.
Would it have been different if an anonymous poster had said what Ro did? Probably. But does it make it any better for any of the other regulars to stoop to a lower level and start name calling? No.
I would love for another regular to chime in here. Just to see what they have to say. I will say I don't think I've ever seen MPP get nasty, so she got her point across in her own way. Let's just wait and see if any one of the other posters "Known" for having an attitude step up.
Yes, it would be interesting to see other regulrs because I can think of at least a dozen of them that are known for speaking their mind.
Well, I guess I am a "regular", and I think Ro was way out of bounds, but it's been dealt with. MPP and FNG made their points, and I suppose those of you who are waiting for ro to attack them will just have to keep the popcorn and Diet Coke on hold fopr now.
If it'll make you feel better, I will now call Ro some names: Vicious, nasty, mean-spirited, uncouth, reprehensible, and evil.
And for my 2 cents about the "attacks" on annonymous posters...if you want to post without a name, you will take the risk of being gunned for because of the history here of "annonymous" posters kicking crap all over the place.
So, choose a name, use it, and avoid the stigma of being annonymous in favor of being a "regular"!
Cheers!
LOL. I should've known chick would step up. In "her" own way, of course.
Chick
I'm glad you got your point across with a bite of humor. That's better than I could've done.
Hopefully Ro will take it at face value, and all of the others that want us to jump down her throat will be content now and let it go.
Oh brother, some of you have too much time on your hands. Some things are just said/typed quickly or tongue in cheek. I was obviously not trying to disparage anyone with diabetes. I was talking specifically about redirecting that post. If you are all THAT sensitive, well then I apologize.
But again, I direct your attention to the mess you who felt the need to pipe in with your own medical malladies have caused on this thread.
I have to defend MPP. She may be a "regular" but I have always found her posts to be thoughtful and respectful of others with different points of view.
A Nanny
ro,
please don't talk about things you know absolutely nothing about.
diabetes is not something to joke about, especially on a site where we are all supposed to be sensitive to one another and to children.
my cousin's husband recently was diagnosed with diabetes, but before he was it was very scary and now he has to change his whole lifestyle and we are so so lucky to still have him with us. he got really sick and they didn't know what was wrong with him.
it is a sensitive topic to those who have dealt with it.
there are other ways to make your point.
Ro, there is an excellent book called The Last Lecture By Prof Randy Pausch. There is a passage in there about apologies. He says "A bad apology is worse than no apology" You have just proven the man's point. And I beleive it was your "tongue-in-cheek" comment that threw the thread off topic. I wasn't going to comment on this at all as I felt FNG had handled herself well. But since Ro felt the need to offer more feedback, I felt compelled to chime in and offer mine.
O.k., ro apologized. Let's not beat her like a dead horse.
BTW, ro. It's not that we are THAT sensitive. We just care, that's all.
unome, hi! long time, no see, lol.
Good post. (I wish I knew who you were!)
Can I just say one thing? I don't want Ro's insult, or comment, or toungue-in-cheek post - or whatever you want to call it, be taken out on the other regulars.
Sometimes when one of them screws up, it's held against ALL the others. Like earlier, when someone was talking about regulars, and grouping us together as one.
And that's not fair. We are all individuals, and shouldn't be held accountable for somebody else's actions.
Looks like this thread stopped dead in it's tracks. Good, because it was going nowhere with all that mudslinging!
I hope this nanny went home that night, have a good rest and went back the next day and did her job the right way!
636 am,
I hope the nanny fell through a sewer grate. And the child's parents have been spared the horror of a kidnapping or worse because of this shitbag nanny that you continue to defend.
Um, if the nanny falls through a sewer grate, then said child would be left unattended. Therefore, she could be kidnapped!
The Last lecture really is an excellent book. It's advice on many different life matters can be useful to anyone from middle school up. And even though it is written by a professor who is battling terminal cancer, it is very positive and upbeat. A great, quick, easy and compelling read.
The nanny should fall through the sewer grate in her off time. Duh!
7:34 pm/annon
"LOL. I should've known chick would step up. In "her" own way, of course."
Just curious, but what do the quotation marks around ~her~ signify?
Indulge my self-centered question, please?
Chick
Absolutely. Meaning I knew you wouldn't be afraid to offer your opinion, be it with humor or attitude.
Definately not a bad thing.
Are you indulged yet, or should I continue?
;)
12:58
O.k., got ya! hee-hee
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