Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I just left my nanny position of 5 1/2 years on good terms because the family is finally self-sufficient and moving. The family had five children that included two sets of twins. I took care of each of their children from birth until school age. I can't count the times I've given up everything to help them. Everything was great when I left the position and we agreed to meet once a year to catch up. Then I received my "recommendation" letter. My employers and I agreed on the letter rather than calls for two reasons: they are incredibly busy with the move and I'm a male nanny. Although I have over a decade of experience, numerous references, and certifications; most employers don't even bother calling my references because I'm a man. The letters can be presented at a moments notice to try and help ease parent's concerns and give me a little bit of a chance. So you can see I was really counting on this letter. Now I feel completely tricked and used by this family. The "letter" was only five sentences long! It's awful! There is nothing in there about how long I've been working for them, how old the kids are, what I've helped with, taught the kids, or signs of appreciation. This comes as a shock because for years they have told me how wonderful I am and how they have no clue how they got so lucky. I'm so angry at them for leaving me high and dry.
I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature. They didn't leave a forward number and don't want to be contacted by cell phone for reference checks. So this letter is all I have to show future employers. How out of line am I to rewrite this letter? I wouldn't falsify any information; just include the things I stated above. These are business people and I thought they would know how to write a letter, but apparently I was wrong. Is it acceptable to rewrite the letter to include just the bare details or am I doomed to have a nearly 6 year gap in my employment history? Other nannies: have you had this problem, and what did you do? For employers of nannies: how would you feel if someone rewrote your recommendation letter?
Thanks for any advice you can give!