Confessions Of A Nanny

Received Monday, April 21, 2008- Rant, Warning (?)
time bomb emiticon small jpeg I am a park bench nanny.
I am a couch potato nanny.
I do a 20 minute project with your kids so I can tell you we did arts and crafts today.
I know what time you should be pulling up so I grab some books 5 minutes before hand and we sit down so when you walk in I'm reading to your kids.
We bake slice and bake cookies so I can tell you we baked today.
I take them to the park and sit and read or talk on the phone while they run around for hours then I tell you went to the park and had so much fun! I play with them for about 30 minutes total out of a 3 hour park outing because kids have no concept of time. They report to you that nanny X played a lot with us and you are happy.
I give your kids Ice-cream and cake and candies so they love me, that's why they cry for me and ask me to come more and tell you they wish I could move in with you.
I almost never report their troubled behavior, that X bit someone at the park or Y hit his sister and pulled her hair. I report just enough so you don't get suspicious but not too much because I want to keep the illusion you have that your children are perfect. I am well groomed and well spoken. My references are glowing and I have done this for over 20 years. I have a spotless background and driving record so paying a ton of money to look into my past will yield exactly the results you are looking for.

Why some of you may ask. Well I will tell you.

You have made me this way.

When I chose childcare as my profession I went in with the innocent idea that I would be a viable part of a child's life. That you would treat me with respect. I thought you would respect the fact that I had a life and family of my own and that you would honor the agreements for responsibilities, duties, paid time off and raises that we made and often put down in writing. In 20 years, I have worked for 3 different families, not one of them did this. Oh, it started out OK, then you came home late without asking or even calling, you started not paying me for sick days even though I rarely called out. You decided to you couldn't afford a raise for me this year even though you got yours, your husband got his and you took a cruise to Alaska, a trip to the Caribbean and saw Euro Disney that same year. Of course these things happened with different families but they always end up the same. Treating me like a servant instead of the person who is responsible for your children's well being and happiness.

Things are just going South with family number 4 now. I start out being a great nanny, involved, attentive and everything you said you wanted in your ad. You started out being a great family, treating me well and with respect. Not asking me to walk your dog, or do your dishes or laundry. You used to ask if I could stay late not ignoring the fact that my husband made dinner for our anniversary and you knew this and still showed up 2 hours late and I went home to a cold plate to be reheated in the microwave. You bait me and reel me in and when I am settled and happy, you change because you know I don't want to have to change jobs so you begin playing your games. Check. But while I will never harm them or treat your kids badly you are not getting the loving nurturing person you advertised anymore because you killed her. I am the one watching your kids and I am not doing a great or even very good job. Checkmate.

Why post this? To try to make parents realize how important it is to treat their nanny well.

For the record, I personally think this person sounds like an ass. -JD


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jerseyxjacqui said...

I say it again...Time to look for a new job, OP.

Nanny burn-out.
Not fair to you OR the kids, no matter how justified you think your behavior is.

Anonymous said...

SHe may sound like an ass but what she says ,is it the truth? DO people do this kind of thing to their Nannies? Think about it. How many come in late and do not call? DO you try to beat them out of sick days,or vacation time or raises? I see people paying off the books in here constantly. So the nanny gets no medical and no one pays the taxes. They hire illegals or other people from other countries because they know they can get them cheaper and won't have to pay them on the books.
What makes her sound like an ass is her statements about how she doesn't really take care of the kids or give a damn about them because of the way the parents treat her. If she is going to neglect the children because of the sins of the parents then she does not belong taking care of kids. Period! She has been doing this for 20 years? Well maybe someday one of her charges will speak up and tell the paretns what a lazy worthless person she is and that she does nothing but sit on the couch and park benches and she can get blacklisted. Hopefully soon.

Noturavgmom said...

Two wrongs do not make a right. While I do understand that there are a lot of people out there that are full of self importance to not realize that the nanny is a person and has a life too, it is unacceptable to make the children suffer as a result of spite.

OP, what you are doing is wrong. You're hurting innocents who know nothing about your situation, they do not understand.

It's so much easier to just sit there and point your finger to fault the parents when you have consciously chosen to neglect the children yourself.

Get out of the nanny business if you're so miserable. Find yourself a new career and spare us the self pity and martyrdom.

Further perpetuating the cycle of bad nanny behaviour proves nothing other than your bad judgment and is not helping the cause. Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Being a nanny is like any other job. If either employee or employer does not live up to the expectations laid out in a contract (which every nanny should have) or a verbal agreement made on the time of hiring, then both parties need to have a discussion. They need to decide upon the responsibilities of each person and what is expected of both employer and employee. If one party is unhappy with the situation, they need to end the relationship and the nanny needs to find a new job.

erics mom said...

I don't think the O.P. sounds like an ass. She sounds like an employer that has been let down too many times by bad employers.
Probably, someone that would extend herself more than expected by a family and then taken advatage of. Example: doing extra things around the house, maybe doing extra errands, or staying late a couple of times. Which then became most of the time.

Honestly, I don't know if there are any great employers in the childcare field. If there is can we hear from some of those nannies, that work for awesome families.

erics mom said...

opps meant employee in first line

Heidi said...

Thank you Jane for not buying her self indulgent BS. If you don't like your job, leave. This person is staying in a job she doesn't like, but in doing so, she is exposing the children in her charge to her bitterness, lies, manipulation and awful care.

Who cares how they treat you? Lots of employers suck in the real world! Demand better or leave. Don't stay and take it out on the children!

Anonymous said...

erics mom,
And how would you feel about an air traffic controller, nurse or doctor who felt the same way about his or her job?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz mom said...

Sounds to me like OP has worked for a series of middle class employers. Middle class people are not supposed to have nannies. Professional nannies do not work for middle class people. Professional nannies handle childcare and nothing more. You are not a professional nanny. Perhaps you do not have the education or life experience to get a professional nanny job. And so you work for a middle class family. And they struggle to pay you, they really feel that nanny pay coming out of their check. And yet, they cannot afford a dog walker, a dog trainer, a full time housekeeper (I hope they have a part time one), a personal assistant, a handyman, etc. And so you do everything because you are THERE and they are INCAPABLE OF AFFORDING TO PAY A PROFESSIONAL.


BTDT said...

I don't think the OP sounds like an ass, and I think you would be surprised how many nannies feel this way.

I started out full of energy, above and beyond everyday, flexible and accomodating, giving 200%. Never thanked, never appreciated, birthdays, Christmas' goes by, no bonus, cards, nothing.

It wears you down. The next family I gave even less of myself-I certainly didn't go above and beyond, or go out of my way to be an amazing nanny. By third family I just didn't care anymore. Sadly, they were a good family, and if they had been the first I'd worked for I'm sure I would have stayed many happy years. Instead I realized I wasn't into it anymore and quit after a few months, getting out of nannying all together.

Bad families take the best of great nannies. There are a lot of so-so nannies that I am sure started out as fantastic super nannies and over time have just been worn down. I really don't think a lot of families realize how crappy they are to their nannies and that it directly affects their children and their care.

erics mom said...

I am just stating my opinion after reading the post. Just like everyone else on here.

Do you think shes the only one that feels this way? I am sure there are other employees in other fields that do their jobs halfhearted as well.

Of course who would want a medical professional to mess up on you. But don't you think alot of doctors are just in it for the money? Not all of course but some. Ever go in to your pediatricians office, and they do a physical exam on your child. The exam last less than five minutes. And they rush you out the door.

Anonymous said...

to those of you who say she doesnt sound like an, would you prefer


Anonymous said...

Wow, nanny, please find another profession. After 20 years, you are showing every sign of being burnt out. I am sorry that your employers did these things to you but you owe it to yourself and these children to find another line of work. I have been a teacher and a nanny and I have seen this happen to other people. Time for a change.

Janet E. said...

Erics mom: Let me give you an insiders scoop.

1. A Dr should never be rude to a patient or parent even if they are on there 3rd child and they bring them in for "just a small cough" (does your child seem sick when he's when he is bouncing of the wall from excitement) like my friend told me last night of a case they had.

Generally doctors in a big setting try to get you in and out because they hate "talkers"-people who babble on and on about useless health issues.
That's because they have notes and dictations to do after every patient usually in their personal after hours time and still they have to prepare lectures and research papers and study for exams. That's because the 80h+ work week that they have is hard on their marriages and they do their best to do what's important so they can leave and go spend time with their wives and own kids. Because they are up 36h getting none or 25min of sleep 3/4 times a week. Sure they signed up for it but when you've been awake all night and had to deal with a kid who shot himself in his head and a kid who comes into the emergency room for a cough it's like: "Are you kidding me?" Give him tylonol and fluids and go home.

I do agree with you though, some pediatricians are awful and nothing justifies it. My husband has never been nasty to a patient- he only yells at the nurses or clerks who don't do their jobs right.

There are websites that rate doctors. You should google that and it is great for an overview of peds in your area... wherever you live.

Westchester nanny said...

I don't think this person sounds like an ass at all. I'm sure not only nannies but other people who look after others for a living (i.e. personal assistants, secretaries etc) feel the exact same thing. You want to go above and beyond and do a good job but people take advantage. It's human nature. Soon things you did to be kind are now expected duties and month by month they become more comfortable with taking advantage of your time too.
I'm not sure how many of you who comment are actual nannies, if you were you would know exactly what this woman is talking about.
Perhaps it is time for her to find a new line of work because this is how nanny jobs always end up. Hers as well as mine. I never take from the children what they need and give them all I should but you do grow weary of being the person taking care of everything and working longer and longer days.
Such is the life of a nanny. In this case doing too good of a job can be detrimental Those of you with jobs where this type of thing does not happen, good for you. Never quit.

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!! I have been a nanny for years, and LOVE< LOVE< LOVE my current family by the way. But, I have been treated like crap by other families in the past. What I can share is this, Employers, if you want a good nanny for your children you have to treat her with kindness as as well. Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you(r children).

Anonymous said...

jane, do you really think this person sounds like an ass? for the record, i personally think you sound ignorant.

this nanny sounds like she is totally burned out. two wrongs don't make a right but i can totally see where she is coming from. i have worked for families just like she has mentioned. they drained every last ounce of energy and motivation i had. of course, i also then left those positions and found a new family.

i am hoping that this nanny will read what she wrote and realize that maybe she needs to exit the profession. she's not doing anyone any good, including herself.

and jane, i'm still trying to figure out why you HAD to give your little personal opinion at the end of the post. saying something like that could possibly scare away future posters who feel like this is the only place that they can vent.

hellcat said...

Whatever happened to taking responsibility for yourself and being the bigger person?

Jane Doe said...

Yes, I do think she sounds like an ass. How many of the people on Childcare Gone Wrong failed to provide the child the care the child deserved because they weren't being paid enough, their employer gave them a nasty look, their employer was late, etc.

If this had been a nanny sighting, rather than a first hand account of a nanny blaming her lousy job performance on someone else's behavior, would you feel differently?

Nannies are welcome to vent on this blog at anytime. But quite honestly, I have no interest to providing a forum for the very sort of nanny this blog stands against.

Lydia said...

I think it's undeniable that most families that hire nannies feel entitled in some ways. I'm a nanny and I truly understand what you are describing. It's frustrating and annoying, but in most cases this is the standard treatment you should expect. If you really love children but don't want these frustrations, you should try to work in a preschool environment.

All I can say is that it takes one hell of a strong person to be a good nanny. :)

socal nanny said...

OP sounds like a big thug. Dishonest. Lies. Cheats. Force feeding kids candy. God only knows what you are doing in all that time you aren't reading, baking, playing in the park, doing arts and crafts.

Do employers suck? yes. That would be a good rant. But this is just pathetic.

Anonymous said...

She's not abusing the children because she's upset with her employers. She's just not going above and beyond anymore. I don't think there's anything wrong with what she posted. I think her whole point is "The kids don't really care whether the cookies are homemade, or whether they spend 20 minutes or 2 hours doing crafts. And the mom's not going to appreciate her either way, so why bother?" I understand how the nanny feels. If that makes me an ass as well, then so be it.

Anonymous said...

"All I can say is that it takes one hell of a strong person to be a good nanny. :)"

and this OP is NOT

and this OP makes all nannies look bad.

Meg said...

she's lying
she's dishonest
too claim slice and bake cookies are real requires manipulation
the kids are probably confused
she's lazy
she feels entitled
she's the reason nanny cameras were invented.

Anonymous said...

"I don't think there's anything wrong with what she posted"

Really? Please tell me you work the overnight shift at Burger King and not with children.

Anonymous said...

I work for the most amazing family. This nanny that posted sounds terrible and I feel horrible for those children. They love her for the wrong reasons.

My family is never late, honors all agreements (verbal and written) and then some (extra vacation days, bonuses, etc.). They have never been more than 5 or 10 minutes late, and have never expected anything of me but to love and care for their children properly. So imagine their surprise when they come home and the dishes are done, the laundry is folded, and the kids are actually playing and no one has been seriously injured. In order to get respect, one must first give it.

Moral of the story is, there are great employers out there, and there are also great employees. I hope her boss reads what she wrote!

Anonymous said...

Wow. When I first read this my inclination was to rip OP a new one. I even started to. then I thought again, left for a while and came back. While I don't in anyway excuse or condone OP's behavior I hope every parent who has a nanny or babysitter in their employ could read this and really let it sink in. OP makes it clear she gave each employer her very best and got used and abused over and over. So now, she provides for and sees to only the very basic needs of the kids while putting up a smoke screen to maintain her glowing reviews. I say again, wow! Saturday night I plan to tip my babysitter 20.00 dollars extra and thank her for all the times she has been there for me and I may have forgotten to thank her.

Oh and the person who said she must work for middle class people blah blah blah sounds like an ass in my book.

ro said...

"So now, she provides for and sees to only the very basic needs of the kids while putting up a smoke screen to maintain her glowing reviews."

By smoke screen, do you mean lying through her teeth?

How is candy a very basic need?

This nanny sucks. She is definitely not a professional nanny.

fact said...

I work for a good family. Their schedule is busy and often changing and I am as flexible as I can be. Sometimes, they make me late and don't always notice that it is important to my life. Most times they pay me 2x for overtime, even if they are 7 minutes late, they pay me for an hour.

My employer can be really moody around her time of the month and she nitpicks about everything, even things I do. First, I kept a stiff upper lip. Now, she warns me when it's that time because she knows herself.

My employers hate when I take time off. They offered to pay me 4 times my weekly salary if I did not take a week off in August. I accepted their offer, but I really wanted the time off to go home to my family in South Carolina. :(

The driveway of the home I work in is at an incline and dangerous in the winter. I emailed my male employer who handles such things and asked him if he could take care of it. He didn't. I slipped in the ice, ripped a brand new pair of cords and gashed my hand open. My female employer saw it happening as I was walking up to the house. She helped me clean it off and was nice but had a meeting to get off to. She offered me a pair of her hsuband's sweat pants. (She's a size 0- I am not). I was a little miffed, but I pushed on and got through the day. She came home early that day and brough a very substantial bouquet of flowers. I was touched. I went home early and later that evening the husband called to see if I was okay and told me they would replace whatever clothing was ruined.

My employers convinced me to go with them on vacation and assured me it would be fun. It was Fiji. Fiji was not fun. The back up childcare they had arranged was frightening and how could I insist the children stay with that person while I went out? I sweated it out for nine days with two toddlers on the beach, the trip was so complicated that I would have to give advance notice of when I had to go to the bathroom. I shared a room with both children, even though I was told the room would have a seperate bedroom for me and a pull out for the children. I held my tongue and tried to do the best job I could.

Two months later, I was returning from gym class with one of the children and I pulled right in to the side of the garage. I damaged a pillar and the front side of the car. I was very upset and when I told them what happend, I told them I would pay for the damages. They told me, "it happens. we have insurance, as long as everyone is okay, don't worry".

I have been with my employers for 2.8 years. The second year they forgot my birthday, even though I remember theirs and always get them a little something. I tried not to take it personally because they are frenzied people who forget a lot of things. I let it go. When my male boss's birthday came up the next month, I got him a small gift and card.

When my parents came up from South Carolina to visit, my employer suggested that I take their "nanny car" home with me and leave my own so that my parents would be comfortable and we would have room for their luggage.

Anonymous said...

Cheers Jane!

nyc mom said...

Defending this nanny is ridiculous.

She is bad at her job. Period.

Any one of us can make excuses for poor job performance, but they are just that - excuses for laziness. This nanny is not chained to any job. If she is so dissatisfied with her employers then she should change jobs or fields, not neglect the children or lie to the parents.

Reading/talking on the phone for hours while children play is neglectful. There is no way you can safely watch young children with that level of distraction. Feeding children excessive junkfood is neglectful. It is unhealthy and establishes poor eating habits, which can have long term consequences. Lying in a planned and manipulative fashion reflects the essence of bad character and dishonesty. I am 100% confident that this malignant behavior extends beyond the OPs job performance. Disavowing all responsibility for your actions - "You have made me this way." - is a narcisstic and egotistical statement. In fact, I see few redeeming qualities in this nanny's rant, even when I read between the lines. She has only worked for 3 families in 20 years and is sufficiently unattached to the children to treat them this way? Sad. Also, OP claims she is not harming the children. I strongly disagree. Some of these kids must be old enough to know what is going on. Kids are smart and I guarantee they are aware of her lies, deception, and disinterest. To have their primary alternate caregiver be an unkind, dishonest, manipulative, and neglectful person is definitely harmful.

I think there are many, many good employers. And definitely the majority of employers that retain the same nanny for years. There are bad nannies and bad employers and it sounds like OPs hiring record has reflected that quite well. She is a bad nanny and good employers have avoided hiring her. She thinks she has been hired by great employers who turn bad. I suspect the true good employers would never have hired and retained this nanny for very long. Were she a good nanny, she likely would have been hired by a better quality of employer and wouldn't be having these problems. The fact that this pattern of employment has happened to her 4 times is not random.

I understand why nannies on here can empathize with some of OPs frustrations, just as I could empathize with an employer posting frustrations with being an employer. But be careful. Relating to some examples of employer mistakes is much different than relating to this nanny as a person and model employee.

just anonymous said...

Ha! OP your post made me think of how shocked I was when my new boss (just started 3 weeks ago) called me this weekend to see if I could stay an hour late Monday. I thought...hmmm....wonder how long this will last with her actually asking my permission?

LindaLou said...

i don't respect anyone, in any profession, who doesn't take responsibility for her own actions.

LindaLou said...

"Reading... for hours while children play is neglectful."

6:40: around here we call that *the evening* or *setting a good example*.

Anonymous said...

lindalou you rarely make sense and this is no exception.

so first you insult op, then you compliment her. make up your mind.

and I think nyc mom was talking about op's comment that she takes the kids to the park, then sits there reading or talking on the phone while they run around for hours playing. i think that is a little dangerous not to watch small kids run around a park. it's not exactly the same as having them in your home while you allow them to entertain themselves. but hey if you think a nanny talking on the phone or reading for hours while your kids run around the park unsupervised is *setting a good example* then please hire me! i'd love to get paid to sit in the park and ignore your kids while i catch up on my favorite book.

Anonymous said...

This nanny is doing some awful things in her job. But it is very easy to tell that most of you are not nannies. Sorry but nannying is not like any other job. It just isn't. So stop comparing it to other professions. I'm not saying it's okay to lie the way she is doing. It's not. But not giving it your all after being treated like crap? If you were a nanny, you would understand that after years of such treatment, you just can't be that super nanny anymore.

However, if you think it's okay to lie and pretend that you are giving it your all when you just can't anymore, then find a new career.

vi said...

"why you had to give your little personal opinion"

You're an idiot. It's her blog, she can opine whenever she wants.

She is no longer doing the job of a nanny. She's morally bankrupt and corrupt, dishonest and a ninny. Her post reeks of bitter rage. I feel sorry for the family she works for.

Anonymous said...

This nanny is the reason why nanny cams were invented. After all, even if someone seems like a good'll never know, right?

Anonymous said...

I think OP has ended up with employers taking advantage of her because she lets them. Passive aggressive? First of all, a nanny should never start a job without a written contract that spells out everything that is important to her. When issues come up, a nanny has to discuss it with the employers. If employers don't initiate a periodic review, to sit down and discuss how things are going, the nanny should ask to do so. Finally, if you have become so unhappy that it is affecting the quality of care you are giving the children, QUIT!

Eric's Mom:
I love my job, and the family I work for. The children are bright, funny, and loving. The parents are warm, respectful, considerate, and appreciative. Our views on childcare are compatible. This is no accident. There is some luck involved, but I am very selective about the jobs I take, and I take the time to find the right fit. I have had three previous very long term jobs, and all were wonderful families.
UES Nanny

FNG said...

I blame the parents first then the nanny. The sad thing is, we have 2or three people who are not keeping up their ends of a deal. The nanny is too burnt our or angry to bother anymore and the parents are likely too wrapped up in thier own careers to care. The children seem caught in the middle. I hope the parents read this and recognize themsel but it's unlikely they will. Too bad. I feel sorry for the kids.

mnanny said...

This nanny disgusts me. While I know we all have bad days and feel burned out, this crosses the line.
All I have to say to her is quit, she would be doing the family a favor.

Janet E. said...

This is terrible. How can this woman look at herself in the mirror. She is a manipulative cow.Go get a job at McDonalds!!!

Anonymous said...

She doesn't sound like an abusive or neglectful nanny. The kids are baking (not from scratch, so what, many nannies don't do any baking with their charges), taking them to the park to run around and play without hovering and barking commands, and doing art projects.

erics mom said...

Hi Janet

Just to let you know what happened today. My son had a fever for two days. I thought it was from teething. But my husband insisted to call the doctor. The peditrician wasn't in. So the answering service connected us to a back-up doctor. We went to his office. To my husbands surprise they knew each other!

And he seemed caring with my son. I am not the type of mother to ask alot of questions. I usually look up information on my own. Maybe, I ask two or three questions per visit. The nurse at this office we went to today, took my sons temperature. I don't even remember my sons regular ped. ever doing that. When ever I tell him he was sick, he just ask me what his temp. was.

Even for his two year old checkup he didn't seem concerned he wasn't talking or trying too. It was a family member that told me to get in touch with Early Intervention. So now hes getting speech therapy and will start occupational therapy.

This doctor today answered a question I had about strep throat and ear infections. We were only in the office for ten minutes, but I learned two interesting facts.

One he told me most children don't get strep until they are three years and older. I didn't know that. Second just because he didn't have a runny nose or cold doesn't mean his ears couldn't get infected. I didn't realize a red throat probably an infection could cause an ear infection.

But yes I agree there are alot of great doctors out there. Alot are very caring as well.
I found one today and will be switching over to them!!

chick said...

There are a number of ways to avoid this sort of slow "performance leakage".


-Speak up! State your needs, ask how you can work with the parents to get those needs met.

-Have a contract. Even if you can't legally enforce it, it does help to have a document that lists out EVERYTHING that is given to and expected of you.

-Avoid passive aggressive behavior. If you can't work out your issues with your employers, take the following step...

-Leave. If you try to talk through issues and things don't improve or get worse, hand in your notice. There ARE good families out there. Not PERFECT families, but good families who will work to keep nanny happy just as she works to keep them happy.


-Accept nanny is an individual with her own life. If you'll be late, call ahead, appologize, pay OT, and ask if nanny will help you find a back-up person who is willing to relieve her at quitting time when you are running late.

-When hiring, be honest about your needs. If you will likely "run late" every night, just accept that you need to extend the hours and up the pay or find a relief care person. Don't claim you'll do something that you can't do.

-Have a contract. Spell out what you expect from nanny and what you will be giving nanny when she meets/exceeds expectations.

-TALK. Set aside time every week (or 2 weeks) to check in and see how nanny is doing. Don't let stuff fester.

-NEVER accept "good enough" care. OP's employers likely think she's giving "good enough" care. If nanny is only "good enough", she isn't good for your family. Look for a great nanny. Not a perfect nanny, because they are very rare, just like perfect families. But great beats "good enough" every time.

marypoppin'pills said...

Wow, I knew this post would be a hot topic. I saw it this morning and was really hoping JD would post it.
I think it's important for us to see through the eyes of an admittedly bad Nanny, so Thank you Jane.

The only ones suffering here are the kids. They don't have a choice but the Nanny does.
If she is so unhappy with her job, she needs to leave.

The kids deserve to have someone love and nurture them ...
it's not their fault.

helaine said...

This nanny is a miscreant, a lazy scheming slug. I wouldn't allow her the opportunity to follow my dogs around Carl Schurz Park with a scooper genie. This is the sort of rotten lowlife that was not made bad by circumstance, because she could never have been anything but the filthy pond scum she is. A lying, manipulative, narcissistic slug who thinks the world owes her something; she has the audacity to proudly boast of her grotesque misconduct. She lacks any standard of decency and displays not a shred of a work ethic. An obtuse, ignorant, piteous sham and a truly sorry excuse for a civilized being.

mpp said...


WTF is up with you? Why are you calling JD a bitch?
That was so unnecessary!

Anonymous said...

OP, I understand your anger, disappointment and resentment toward the parents. But you are not punishing THEM. You are short-changing those children who probably DO love you, inspite of your laziness towards them. They deserve better, and you know it. And your bitterness only punishes YOURSELF. It's a little like wanting to kill a eating the poison yourself.

Find the courage to take an honest stand with the employer about all of your complaints, or simply get out. The fact that this same scenario keeps happening to you with every job tells me you have not done your homework...figure out how it is YOU continually invite/allow employers to take advantage of you.

Anonymous said...! If OP is an a*s, I guess you must be the "Queen of All A**es". Yikes!

Nom de Plume said...

Once again it shows the seperation of the professional and the lackadasial. I consider myself a professional. I would never take out on my charges how unhappy I was with their parents. JD is right. She is an ass. She'd be better suited at McD's. Hey, they give you those five cent raises every couple of months, right?

Anonymous said...

That ain't right.
Jane does so much trying to protect our children, and then you have some scumbag coming on here insulting her!

Anonymous said...

Might I add that it doesn't bode well for you that Jane can pull your info up?
I wouldn't do that again if I were you, it's not cool.

Nom de Plume said...

9:35-Last week my charges and I made a Texas Sheet Cake. One of my charges loves snicker doodles, we make them routinely, just she and I.

One weekend when mom and dad went on a getaway, the older kids and I made butter toffee, yes, candy. Snickerdoodles of course, and that night before bed we made crepe batter and had them for breakfast the next day. So no, some of us do bake, and from scratch.

jennifer lecarlo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jennifer lecarlo said...

"Jane" definitely takes the hard line when it involves the protection and well being of children. If you're not similarly motivated, I am sure she could rub you the wrong way.

But bitch? Never. She's probably the nicest and most compassionate person I know. Genuinely.

LindaLou said...

anonymous @ 7:27, i'm afaris i won't require your services. i watch my own children and furthermore, i wouldn't hire a passive agressive weenie were you the lost prospect left on earth.

i think the original poster needs to take responsibility for herself, however, i see nothing wrong with reading while the kids play. oh, the humanity! @@.

Anonymous said...

I think it's funny that this nanny thought that people would be saluting her. I deal with people unhappy of their jobs all of the time. I went to the photo kiosk to pick up my pictures and the clerk was quite rude to me. I told the clerk, "I'm sorry if you're having a bad day. I'm sorry if this isn't your dream job. But your hear now and I'm a customer here to pick up pictures. How about you do your job?"

Too bad those kids can't speak up to the nanny.

Anonymous said...

Lindalou you are this month's top candidate for "Most Annoying ISYN Poster." It's a rare honor that requires a special blend of repetitive posting, need to have the last word, and smug parenting opinions! Other requirements include: complete lack of insight into how annoying you are, the constant need to disagree with majority opinion to feel special, and lots of failed attempts at witty comebacks.


t.r. said...

10:05 Not funny. Rude.
11:19 rude, but funny.

I hope OP comprehends that her attitude isn't cool or cute. Nannies in the miserable boat with you will canoodle. Misery loves company. OP, I hope you wake up tomorrow and turn over a new leaf. I am sure you are not as bad as Helaine thinks you are.

Call your friends in Philly and make sure they get out to vote for Hilly.

Only Hilary can beat McCain.

Don't believe the media. They're all tools of the conservative right trying to align the board so another Bushy wins in November.

Jane Doe said...

Good night.

Anonymous said...

I think Jane Doe is predjudice towards any and all nannies!

Anonymous said...

and the French!

cali mom said...

Jumping ahead, trying to catch up. If OP has worked for only 3 families in 20 years and been treated this way by all of them, it's clear that she hates job hunting even more than she hates lousy employers. Even if 20 years is divided evenly, that's 6 1/2 years per family and that's way too long to just do a half-assed job and wallow in self pity about it, in ANY profession. If they're that $hitty, leave, And keep on leaving until you find an employer that's good, or you decide to try a new profession. If 9 out of 10 employers treat you bad, you're in the wrong business but 3, just means you're a cop-out.

Anonymous said...

*Bowing in gratitude*
Thank you, thank you, thank you OP for posting this!!!
It's valuable and TRUE.

Employers: would you tolerate a nanny who inflicted her bad moods, random whims or petty annoyances on your innocent children?
Of course not!
So why oh WHY do so many of you get comfortable with your nanny and begin to take advantage of her kindness by being late, paying her late, "forgetting" to give her an annual raise, 10-99ing her at the last minute ( aparticularly evil thing to do), speaking harshly to her or insulting her when you're having a bad day, or dumping her without so much as a "thanks" or a severance check when you've suddenly decided to "stay at home", "move", "get an au pair [because they're cheaper]" or otherwise change the situation?

Most nannies give their hearts to your children along with their daily hard-work...learn to respect and value them, please.
If you can't or won't, do all nannies a favor and don't even hire one at all.

a said...

What are you thanking OP for? Taking a giant crap in the middle of this blog? For threatening and menacing all nanny employers by saying if you aren't good to us, we'll neglect your children, lie to you and so much more and you'll never be the wiser?

And people are congratulating this psycho? I hope they aren't nannies. And not every rude emplyer would be rude to everyone. Some people, perhaps people like this OP are just so damn annoying that people delight in mocking her.

So your boss was late and didn't call. Grow a pair.

I have a corporate job and work M-F. When something comes up, I am told to be in on Saturday and regardless of what plans I have, I show up. Am I pissed? Certainly. But I take too much pride in the job I do to ever sell myself out.

You're just a mess. A wretchid mess. Call one of those child abuse hotlines the next time you feel surly towards your boss and can't control your bitterness. I could give a rat's ass if you bake cookies from scratch or from a roll or at all. But anyone who takes such delight in telling bald face lies to another person, well she deserves to have the sh&t slapped out of her.

Anonymous said...

The intense venom toward the OP is over-the-top. She took a risk by being so honest, and I'm grateful she did.
She never said she was abusive or even neglectful of her charges, she simply explained that she is not the "super" nanny she wanted to be (and IS during the first few months of every new job) because her spirit is broken again and again each time her employers start to take advantage of her and treat her poorly. She is given mediocre treatment as an employee and eventually becomes so disillusioned that she hasn't the energy or motivation to be much more than a mediocre nanny.
The negativity and anger being flung at her are an indication of the subconcious resentment so many employers have for their nannies...perhaps they're envious of their nannies' ability to care for and manage children well...perhaps as a whole we don't put a premium on good childcare. Cut her some slack, LISTEN CLOSELY to what she has to share.
You might just learn something.

lorenza said...

The admittedly lazy nanny slug, having been disappointed so many times, might have thought about getting another job, one she liked. Instead the sloth reaped all the perks and benefits of her position while letting the children and parents down. Some people can live quite happily possessing no personal integrity. Pitiful, really.

Gloria said...

Listen closely?
What does that mean?
Did you mean "read between the lines".

Personally I think OP's message was self indulgent and cocky. Like many employees in the US, this OP has a big chip on her shoulder.

When the recession fades into a depression, I am sure that chip will be knocked right off her shoulder.

PS This is not "intense venom". I don't harbor any secret ill will against my nanny. My nanny is not a passive agressive twit. OP is.
Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

I work with a bunch of slackers and clowns. Like someone above said, I take pride in my work achievements, regardless of whether my boss has time to butter my roll that day.

Anonymous said...

To "lorenza",

Sounds like the employers let the nanny down quite badly too!
There has to be some sort of balance in the employer/employee relationship.
I'm still waiting for just ONE employer to admit that they're not perfect either, that they've been unfair with their nanny or that they might at least consider that the OP's views have the ring of truth.

Anonymous said...

"self indulgent" and "cocky"...sounds like every employer I've ever had.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone agree with OP?
Her post is a big "haha, so I'll show you". If she had any good points to make, she negated them with her idiotic, in your face commentary.

Who doesn't know there are bad employers? We have heard about them on this site many a times.

OP sounds scary.

Able from SAH said...

If self indulgent and cocky describes every employer you've ever had, so? So? Get down on bended knees and thank your lucky stars that for reasons unseen some foolish idiot of a cocky employer has chosen to employ your complaining, mopey, bitchy, pessimistic, greedy and deceitful ass.

My boss is a monster. He reduced the vending machine MAN to tears last week. But guess what? I choose to work for him.

Quit your whining. It's so annoying. Go back to school and get a degree. And then go apply to work in another field. But guess what? Your boss just might be a gigantic idiot.

another idiot bites the dust said...

I am a shoplifter. I come in your store to spend my hard earned money. The prices always go up. You don't always great me with a hello. Sometimes you forgot to say thank you or wish me a good day.

So I stuff six salisbury steaks in my purse, a 4 pack of AA batteries in my bra and a slab of brie cheese in my waist band.

You made me this way.

Anonymous said...

California Nanny here...for the person who said "middle class people shouldnt have a nanny" in Southern California you are middle class if you make $150,000. Middle class is different depending on where you live. Im sure in the midwest 150,000 is alot of money. In New York its probably not. Whats your point? My husband and I make about 90,000 a year and we live in a manufactured home in Orange County and pay $1600. a month for it. We are not even middle class.

Anonymous said...

Here is the bottom line.
Many of us dislike our bosses. That is just a fact. But we cannot mess up at work or screw around because our boss is there/here with us. This nanny is left alone with innocent children. This nanny because she is unsupervised and has no accountability, this nanny is saying "F U" to her boss. This nanny is the reason this blog was invented. This nanny is the reason nanny cameras do a booming business. This nanny is the reason people don't trust nannies.

So what I cannot figure out is why any nanny would defend her?

Kay said...

In some fields if you get paid to provide a service and don't provide it (lie about where you went, who you met with and what you did) and get paid for it, you are guilty of fraud.

And let's be honest, if this nanny had any other options, she would have taken them by now.

cali mom said...

12:37, so OP starts out fantastic and over the top great at her job, gets treated badly by her employer after a few months and then stays in the job where she doesn't even care much about the kids, so she says) for another 6 years without ever trying to resolve her resentments because...?

Some nannies whp post here hate their jobs but stay because they can't tear themselves away from the kids they love so much but this nanny has no such motivation. Must just be the guaranteed paycheck with no wasted efforts of personal responsibility.

Anonymous said...

cali nanny, is a manufactured home a trailer? it cost $1600? do you have to rent space in a trailer park to? how much is that? or better if you get to park it on your bosses property. Boy that is sure alot. I guess I couldnt live there.I bought my house 2 months ago. My house costs 87,000. and it has a full basement that I rent out and get half my mortgage. I dont make 90 thousand dollars combined with my husband. He makes 14 dols and hour but calls in sick allot, so it dont add up like you think it would. I work in a daycare. and make 22 thosand dols a year.

Anonymous said...

Justify this:

You're fired.
Get out.
No severence for you.

jill said...

OP sure is resentful of her employers. My guess is OP dreams of going on a cruise.

See this, "you took a cruise to Alaska, a trip to the Caribbean and saw Euro Disney that same year."

And? This means you are entitled to what? Maybe you didn't get a raise because your horrible attitude is more apparent than you think.

lorenza said...

10:47 If you have a job and have been let down by your employers causing you to be unhappy in your job, then its your responsibility to do something. Speak up, for one thing. If nothing changes, then leave. The park bench nanny's behavior is inexcusable, as perhaps is the behavior of the parents for whom she works. Sounds like everybody loses to me.

Anonymous said...

I don't give a crap about this nanny and her alligator tears. I'd love for Susan Tepper to sit on her!

cali mom said...

1:18, what? Were you talking to me?

Sarah and Mitch said...

Wow- You really need to find another job. I don't think there is any excuse for a lazy nanny... if people are treating you badly, it's because you are letting them walk all over you. Pack up and move on, sister, you are giving the good nannies a bad name. And those kids deserve SO much better!!!

LindaLou said...

11:19. thanks. i live to annoy people too wimpy to come out of the woodwork and even own their own words. it takes a special brand of someone to repeatedly anonymously attack someone's perceived faults. your focus on how i *disagree with the majority* is just odd. you've stated this on several threads. i'm not a sheep who bases my opinions of what everyone else thinks and i feel sorry for anyone who has to take a survey before they post an opinion. if i'm annoying to an idiot like you. good!

Anonymous said...

After being a nanny for 20 years it's kinda hard to just go out and find another career. After 20 years at any job, you don't just walk away and say "oh I think I want to be a firewoman now!"

Do you know how many terrible teachers there are who hate their jobs, who are just horrible to the kids, who give the bare minimum every day. I work in a school and I can tell you there are a lot more than you think.

There are people like OP in any job who are burnt out, who do the bare minimum just to get through the day. It would be nice if they could all just leave their profession and do something else, but it's just not that easy.

marypoppin'pills said...

It's really scary to have a Nanny admit that she's wallowing in misery and she has two defenseless children depending on her.

I wish she would take a good look at her life and realize how jaded she is, and give these kids a chance with someone who wants to be there for them. said...

What an interesting array of opinions on this matter. We have some, a small few, defending OP even thanking her for her candid honesty. Then we have the majority who are against her and venomously so. The hatred and bitterness of many towards nannies is very evident. The way people are jumping to conclusions about what she posted is amazing. For example, she says she bakes roll out cookies instead of homemade, she never said she tells her employers they are homemade, you are ASSUMING she does. She says she plays with her charges 30 minutes out of three hours or so, and then reads while they play, but we never are told how old her charges are. I have kids, I let them play on their own. They are at the age where they don't want or need me hovering at the park. I am perfectly capable of keeping a watchful eye and reading a magazine or talking to my friend while my kids play. However, even though she never mentions how old her charges are, some assume they are young and need constant supervision. She says she gives them candy, cake and other treats but someone here said she force feeds them sweets. I HIGHLY doubt she force feeds them anything. And you would be surprised how many teachers are just coasting to retirement, including a special needs teacher who lives on my block. She practically brags how once she had tenure she does NOTHING to go out of her way to help the children in her care. And she makes a hell of a lot more than any nanny I know. She was voted teacher of the year twice in her career.

I work for a major corporation and so does my husband. Yes, we are asked and sometimes required to stay late but I can't remember a single incident where one of us was scheduled to have off or leave early and couldn't because someone decided to not show up at the last minute. I have also never had the distinct pleasure of having to remind my supervisors that my annual raise was due, that I was owed pay for a sick day or that I had vacation time coming and I have no written contract with my supervisors..

Also, nanny says she is on family number 4 now. And unlike most of you, I got form her post that she gets very involved in her charges lives, and comfortable in her position and then gets taken advantage of. This is not the sign of a weak woman, as some have called her. It's not so easy to up and look for another job when you have vested time in it plus mouths to feed and bills to pay. And there is an old saying that many go by when thinking of leaving a job or making many changes. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't"

In conclusion, I would like to join the minority and thank this OP for standing up and bringing some ugly truths to light. We reap what we sew. I will definitely take a good, hard look at how I treat my nanny from now on. I think I'll start by inviting her to lunch and asking how things are going, we can take it from there.

5:27 said...

I guess I shouldn't have said that I don't find "anything" wrong with this post. I just don't think she sounds like a horrible nanny. It doesn't sound to me like she's neglecting the children. How many parents do you know who actually play with their children when they take them to the park? How many spend hours doing crafts with them? How many bake home made cookies from scratch with their kids? How many sit down to read with their kids for more than 5 minutes a day? I know there are some great parents out there who do those things, but there are a lot more mediocre parents.

However, I realize she is not the mom. She is a nanny who is being paid to do the job of a great parent, but is not doing so. So while I don't feel that this nanny's actions are going to cause any harm to the children, I do agree that she should perhaps find another job that she could be happy in. Lying to the parents is wrong, even if they don't treat her well.

Anonymous said...

I would like to point out to everyone that she did not do anything courageous by coming here and 'speaking the truth'. She wrote an anonymous post and is cloaked in anonymity. She risked nothing of herself to boast about how she fools her employers.

These accolades directed at this nanny for 'standing up' and 'telling the truth' are almost as ridiculous as the content of her self centered post.

People have a right to be offended by this post. That doesn't translate to anti-nanny. Who wouldn't be anti THIS nanny?

zzzzzzzzz mom said...

I cannot imagine my nanny behaving this way. Thank G-d. Howver if my nanny were to behave like this and sit on the sofa, bench, read as the nanny does-my children would be right there next to her begging to play with her. I can't imagine what my nanny could possibly say to my children to ensure that they didn't bother her, but that is equally frightening. In so many of these posts, the children come to the nanny for a drink or to play or for anything and are ignored. Sometimes, the children are berated for wanting the nanny, other times they are physically pushed away. I don't pretend to know the full scope of this nanny's actions. I don't want to. I do take issue with all of you who defend this nanny. I hope she gets some serious splinters in her fat ass from that bench.

marypoppin'pills said...

You make a good point ... and I love the splinter bit.

I know my son is f-o-r-e-v-e-r asking to do this, play that, go here, get me that ... and I do it ALL. I cannot imagine my life without him and I'm grateful he's mine.

She doesn't say how many children are in her care but what does this Nanny, who prides herself in doing the very least, say when she has 2 or 3 kids going at her? I shudder to think, because if she's as lazy as she says, I think she just may be neglecting them more than she's letting on.

Anonymous said...

I come from a middle class family. I went to college and didn't need to marry money to make myself think I was better than my family. I don't like snobs. I also have friends that have some great prefab homes. They do cost plenty to live in as house payment and lot rental are expensive but they also don't have to do yard work and so on and all of their homes are beautiful. Just because they could move that home to a better place or to a piece of land does not make them lesser people. Did I say I hate snobs.?
I had a stay at home mom. Our house was always warm and welcoming. My dad supported us on one pay check and managed to pay a 5 bedroom 4 bath home on 3 acres off in 10 rather than 20 years. We always had new cars,and damn nice clothing. Of course when we turned teens we worked. Yup, no sitting in front of the TV,no nanny, fishing on weekends ,picnics. We all paid our own way thru college with the money we earned by "working" and god forbid breaking a nail or having a callous. Parents checked our homework and we were home on time and every one of us still stick to that. I have a nanny and a damn good one. I would never dream of not paying her off the books or showing up when I felt like it.
She pops in on weekends just to chat or ask if the children can go to this place or that place with her and her daughter. Sometimes just to chat. If she is out shopping and sees something I may like she calls me and describes it to me and buys it and I pay her back. The kids love her and her daughter. She has become a very real and important member of this family. If for one minute she needed to take off and go somewhere
I would find someone or find a day care or take timeoff of work to accomodate her. Nannies are people too,they have families,deaths happen and if we cannot treat them as we want to be treated then we need to learn some social skills.

MissDee said...

It's posts like these that make me wish I had a PC at home! Allow me to address a few things:

4:58-What right do you have to make comments about Jane? This blog is her time, something she likes, and it belongs to HER. You are entitled to your opinion, but degrading Jane and asking her who she thinks she is posting her own opinion about OP is not right. This blog has helped people, both nannies and families, and it will continue to do so in the future. You don't like what Jane or anyone else has to say? Don't read this blog!

OP: If you are that burned out, maybe you should find a new career with children, such as in a preschool. And if you didn't have a WA 20 years ago when you first started to work as a nanny, then you should've by now learned your lesson. OK, I know it is frustrating working for an employer who is an ungrateful, fingerpointing, obnoxious you-know-what (my overdressed, BMW driving, nasty ex boss at my old daycare fits that description-and she is involved in a fraud case *LOL*) because I have been in that situation. Let me ask you OP, how many times will it take you before you realize that you need to get a backbone if you don't like the families you work for? It's nobody's fault but your own, OP.

Then again, OP could really be a lazy park bench nanny. We don't know the entire story. It's nannies like OP that give those of us who are good nannies bad names. I have given up trying to find a nanny position due to some of the things I have read on this blog about the families that screw over nannies, and because I have found that parents in my area don't know if they want a nanny or daycare.

We love you Jane!

Anonymous said...

Great post, Missdee - but I honestly think it's time for OP to get out of the childcare business altogether.

EG said...

miss dee- you sound so sweet.

op- you are enitled to rant and rip yur bosses a new one. you obviously know how to be a good nanny, you are choosing purposely not to be to "show them". this is what makes you appear like a bad person and disgruntled worker. It is a very dangerous thing for an employer to have a disgruntled worker in her home.

re jane- i know jane. she was a nanny 'back in the day' and you'd be hard pressed to find a better nanny anywhere. i think it would have been irresponsible of jane to print a rant that i read as threatening to parents who use nannies, without some sort of comment. the one she chose was pretty succinct. OP- may not be an ass, but she sure sounds like one in her post.

Anonymous said...

j.d. I think you sound like an ass.
I totally understand where OP is coming from. You get what you give.

Westlake Nanny said...

OP makes professional nannies look bad. I can just see this nanny's angry typing on her keyboard. Sorry it didn't make the splash you were hoping for. Nope, no pat on the back for you for doing less for the children. No kudos to you for your lies, tricks, misrepresentation. You're a joke, OP. And the joke isn't funny.

amy said...

remember the posts about nannies who dress too sexy, nannies who flirt and make dates while working? And all the nannies texting on the job?

Read this article:

You will see why it is relevant.

NannyNoMore said...

I didn't see this OP putting this out there for accolades. I see it as a warning. I just left the nanny field because of the exact same treatment I received time and again at the hands of deceitful families who lure us nannies in, let us settle in and grow to love the kids, and then start with their BS. And I am an educated, outspoken woman who is definitely no shrinking violet. However, I never encountered a single family that showed me the respect I deserve as a professional. (The straw that broke the camel's back was the last family telling me to clean the cat box! They wanted me to do it because their new cleaning lady who comes once a week refused too!!!) Honestly, for those of you who work in a professional office, would you dare ask an employee to clean up your pets Sh_t ?!!!?

I now work as an ABA therapist with special needs children. I earn more per hour and am only with a child one or two hours per day. The training was fairly painless (90 days plus 6 months as an assistant) And free with an agreement to stay with an agency for 2 years. I make my own hours and the parents can't ask me to do anything other than work with their kids as a therapist. I also get to continue to work with kids, which I love.

OP, I don't think you sound like a terrible person or nanny. And I am sorry for the insults you've endured here. At least one person so far has said she is going to re-think the way she treats her nanny because of this posting and so I think it has done some good. And I think 9:15 AM made some very valid points about some of the assumptions that have been made. I hope you decide to leave this latest family and consider another careeer where you can work with children, which I believe you enjoy, but can't be taken advantage of.

I think it's very simple, treat an employee poorly and you'll get poor performance out of them. This is true in ANY field and childcare is no exception although it should be. And if it's true, as someone pointed out, that the parents might treat her this way because her poor attitude is more apparent than she realizes than what does THAT say about the parents???

Jane, thank you for posting this even though you don't agree with the content. It shows that you truly are a fair person when it comes to letting different opinions and views be aired.

Anonymous said...

The part about feeding the kids sweets and the outrage over that alone cracks me up. The SAH Bergen County moms I work for shudder at the thought of a Hershey's Kiss enetring their precious child's system. But day after day while they go for luncheon at the country club or the Chart House I feed their kids nuked mac and cheese, pizza bites, and whatever other frozen food they can stock in their 50k kitchens. They feel great about it because it's Trader Gepetto or whatever the hell the brand name for Trader's Joe's is when they are making pizza bites. It says ORGANIC so it must be OK. Ever read the sodium content in those things? Enough to choke any sea dwelling critter! And all those microwaves gotta be doing something to their kids. Never mind all the other ingredients put in there as preservatives that I can't begin to pronounce! Couple that with the 3 or four glasses of juice the kids drink while I am there (with mother's blessing because she doesn't dare give them soda-too much sugar!) But hey, that's GREAT parenting, and they pay me to provide these meals to their kids. They are better off with a Hershey Bar and glass of chocolate milk for lunch IMO!

Anonymous said...

If you feel you have a valid gripe, why don't you get a spine and take it up with the parents? Why make the children pay?

Anonymous said...

I for one want to thank OP and all her critics for opening my eyes. The witch I work for came home 3 hours late for the umpteeth time. She called 45 minutes before she came home saying she was on her way. She doesn't call anymore because I used to tell her she had to come home I have plans so now she doesn't bother giving me any warning. This started way after I took the job. I tried talking to her to no avail. After reading OP's post, i realized these spoiled bitches think of no one but themselves. So I used her computer and paper to write my letter of resignstion. I greeted her at the door, told her I quit as of now and handed it to her. The expression on her face was priceless. She just called me and begged me to come back, even offered me more money but no way! I'd rather collect welfare then be treated like garbage. I told her the time to tell me how great and needed I was has long past and the opportunity to prove it has gone. All the lip service in the world doesn't mean anything if you walk over the person caring for your kids. I start looking for work tomorow.

cali mom said...

9:40, good for you!! I do hope you were able to have a talk with the kid(s) beforehand, if they are old enough to be aware of this change, so they don't feel unnecessarily bad about you leaving. And I hope she gets asked by all of her replacement candidates for references from her former nanny, which should make her sqirm, though I suppose that's unlikely.

Anonymous said...

Op I feel you, I really do because I've walked more than a mile in your shoes. Most employers in the childcare profession do suck and I went through my share of families before I figured out how to be successful and maintain a good relationship with the family you are with. That is TAKE NO SHIT! NO WAY! NO TIME!

After experiencing the same situation you have with several families I realized, as dumb as it is to treat the person responsible for you children's happiness badly, they all seem to do it. I finally got it and the family I am with now got my set of rules and expectations after they gave me theirs. I told them, in no uncertain terms, that I do not work late unless it is pre-arranged, due to personal commitments and responsibilities of my own. I required the family to provide me with the name and telephone numbers of at least two back-up sitters in case they are running late and I need to leave. The back-up sitters can be family, friends or neighbors. I also make it clear that in the unlikely event both of their back-up sitters are unavailable and I must leave, I will call in a sitter of my choice, and they will be required to pay that sitter. I don't touch a dish or clean up anything beyond what the children use. I do not do laundry of ANY kind. I don't walk dogs. Dog walkers make 15.00 per 30 minutes in my neighborhood and if I wanted to do that for a living I could do so. I don't have a dog because I don't enjoy cleaning up after them and so I am definitely NOT cleaning up after yours. I get 5 paid sick days a year and 2 weeks paid vacation. This is non-negotiable and I use every one. Since I luckily don't get sick often I usually give notice or reserve those days for Doctor's appointments or to take care of personal business. I use my car to transport their kids so I get reimbursed for two tanks of gas per week. in addition, I ask for 50.00 dollars per month extra to cover wear and tear on my vehicle because I must keep it in top shape for their kids. If they balk at this they are free to let me use the family car or buy an additional nanny car. Then they can pay for ALL the gas and all the maintenance and insurance instead of just a small portion. I will RARELY come in on days off. But if I am called in on a day off I charge a higher rate. My normal rate is 20.00 per hour. Saturdays it's 25.00 and Sundays it's 30.00 IF I am available.

I sound like a hard case right? Like how would any family stand for this? Well we get along great! Why? Because I am NOT like one of the family and the kids ARE NOT like my own! Family tends to take advantage of family, that's why great families turn bad and nannies feel hurt. By keeping everything strictly business, they never forget I am a professional. And so far it's working out great!

Anonymous said...

10:12 You should give the OP a lesson on how to act professionally. You get what you deserve because you stand up for yourself. The OP takes out her anger on innocent children. I hope she learns from you.

FNG said...

10:12 PM you probably have given the best piece of advice to nannies I have ever seen on this blog! I believe that many people who chose to be childcare providers do so because they are loving and giving in nature. This same personality trait that makes them great for working with kids also makes them very vulnerable to people who ordinarily might not even be inclined to take advantage of others. They give their all, go above and beyond all the time, the parents get comfortable with that, and bad habits on the parents part are formed. Nanny never minds staying late, never refuses when they need her to, and one day, mother or father are busy and forget to call. Nanny doesn't say anything because it never happened before and a bad habit is born! It begins happening more frequently and other things start happening and nanny now doesn't know what to do because it's not in her nature to be assertive because she never had to in the past. Nanny becomes hurt and then resentful and begins cutting corners with her level of care. I think what you said about being part of the family, what I have seen so many nannies on here boast about and that the kids are like their own is right on target! Family tends to take more liberties with family members and good friends so once the professional lines become blurred it seems OK for otherwise very nice people to unwittingly take advantage of nanny without even realizing it. This sense of false entitlement might even be cemented if nanny is paid well and given an excellent bonus because the family might feel they treat her very well and that's why she doesn't mind doing all the little extras she does. These same people are professional, and otherwise honorable and would never dream of hiring a professional house painter then asking them to clean the bathrooms. The key point to your post is it is absolutely imperative that a nanny communicate clearly and immediately her expectations and requirements to be the best nanny she can be. If she is in a bad situation, like this nanny is, she should immediately request a sit down with the parents and clear the air. It's quite possible the parents don't even realize how upsetting their behavior is to the OP, because I really don't believe most parents would want to leave their child with a nanny filled with resentment. Communication is the key!

I hope you take the advice given, because two wrongs don't make a right, especially where children are concerned. Good luck OP!

mom said...

Eric's mom.
Try a few other pediatricians. Mine spends at least a half hour with us every time and she spends time speaking with the kids to see how things are going in their lives and to get a general sense of their emothinal well being as well as thier physical. This helps her to ferret out hidden emotional issues before it's too late...and I'll bet helps her spot potential abuse victims as well. I really appreciate this service, especially as we navigate the teen years. If your pediatrician is rushing you through, that is terrible...and a disservice to you and your child.
I had one like that for a while in California and we gave him the big "Adios."

mom said...

OOps. I hadn't read all the posts when I wrote the above. I see that you figured out what I was talking abut all on your own. Congrats on the new pediatrician, Eric's mom.

Second, it takes some real nerve to come onto somebody else's blog and question why they felt entitled to offer their own opinion...let alone call her nasty names! BOOOOOO to the jackass who insulted Jane Doe on her own site!

Third, this is a terrible nanny. She is passive aggressive and she takes great pleasure in her ugly, inexcusable behavior. Check Mate? Ugh. These are children that you are hurting and if you are such a terrible nanny that you can't even see beyond your own needs and bitterness long enough to do what those KIDS NEED of you then you have no business being a matter how you got this way, or whose fault you think it is that you have become a bitter, vengeful person. Sometimes it's time to move on and do something else...and this is your time. A REAL, PROFESSIONAL NANNY would be ASHAMED OF HERSELF for behaving this way because she would have too much self respect as a PROFESSIONAL.

Nom de Plume said...

I think I'm even more appalled that my counterparts in this profession would actually applaud someone like this. Where is your integrity? Where is your work ethic? No one ever feels like giving 100% all the time, but taking it out on those we are entrusted to care for is just inexcusable. They are innocent. They do not pay our salaries. They are not responsible for their parents.

Disgusted. Truly disgusted.

Anonymous said...

I think all the high school level hysterics need to stop and quickly. This nanny is not doing anything horrible. This is to all of you ranting and calling her all sorts of names. Step off that high horse you ride for a minute and try to read what she actually wrote instead of adding your own dramatic touches in your heads.
She does a 20 minute project for arts and crafts, well how long SHOULD she spend? The attention span of most children is only about 15 minutes to a half hour anyway. I do 10 minute projects with my 6 year old charge because that's all he will spend coloring, drawing, painting, or whatever So 20 minutes sound good to me!
She takes them to the park for three hours and spends 30 minutes playing with them. I think it's awesome your charges spend anytime with you at all. My charge is off like a shot once we get to the park and doesn't want me anywhere near him and his new best friends because according to him he's not a baby anymore and doesn't need me stadning over him. Of course I watch him, but from a distance.
She gives them treats that might not be the best choices but too many parents are ridiculous when it comes to curtailing their child's intake of sugar and fat. Children need a certain amount of fat and sugar in their diet. Of course it must be controlled but it should never be eliminated. I did not, in anyway get the impressions this person loads her charges up on them. Her statement that she wishes to keep the illusion that the children are perfect tells me she reported problem behavior in the past and it was likely dismmissed without a second thought. Many parents suffer from Perfectus Childus Delusion, which of course is a sarcastic title I give to parents who think their kids can do no wrong. And after 20 years years and only 4 families, if her background is perfect and her references really are impeccable than she really can't be that horrible. She should definitely stand up for herself either with this family or look for a new one. But you guys need to give it a break. You think the woman came on here gloatiing that she beats the kids daily and feeds them sour milk.

Anonymous said...

3:40 there is no excuse that could possibly make this nanny's foul attitude acceptable.
I hope your not a nanny.
As somebody said, if you are determined to do the least possible amount of work that you can get by with--just enough to trick the boss into not finding out and firing you--then you should be working at McDonalds. Franky, they wouldn't even hire you at McDonalds with your attitude and work ethic. Even they have standards.

Anonymous said...

I hope she's not a nanny either.....children "need" sugar in their diets?? ye gods.........

Anonymous said...

A person with integrity and high morals would never be this way. I always do the best job that I can do no matter what. If I'm not treated right or don't feel respected, I will leave but never, ever will I not do the job that I was hired do because I don't feel that I've been treated fairly, especially when children are involved.

This nanny needs to get out of childcare business. My guess, though, is that she won't because as lazy as she is she won't last in any other job but a nanny one where the parents are not around to see her for what she really is. What a JERK!!!

Anonymous said...

3:40 AMEN AMEN AMEN! Among all the blow hards on here you are one of the voices of reason.

Anonymous said...

5:15 please educate yourself. You sound like an ass. Recommended by the USDA (Food Consumption, Prices and Expenditures, United States Department of Agriculture, 1999).
6-18 teaspoonfuls per day, depending on total calories in an individual’s diet.

manhattanmamma said...

O.P. I don't agree with your actions but you have woken me up. From now on, I will be on time coming home and ask rather than tell my nanny when I will be late, in advance whenever possible. I will also arrange back up childcare in case she has to leave. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

manhattan "mamma" -
Nice try. No employer would cowtow to a nanny bully.

And for your information people who are tit for tat aren't going to stop 'punsihing' you if you start showing up on time and calling. What happens when OP's employer gets a nice piece of jewelry, from the sound of her post, OP would go ballistic. In fact, OP sounds like a little shitbag of a jealous employee who is so bitter at the very means her employers have that she can't see straight.

And if she could see straight, she should see herself straight out the door.

Yeah lets bring on some more fake moms to congratulate OP for enlightening them.

What a load of bullshit.

Anonymous said...

9:07 - I completely agree. I believe many of these supportive posts are fake or the work of one person, particularly the manhattanmamma.

OP has bad employers because she is a bad nanny. The good ones would never hire her.

Anonymous said...

What's harder to find: a wonderful nanny or a wonderful employer-family?

We nannies know the answer, and if you're honest with employers do too.

(In case you weren't paying attention, the answer is: EMPLOYER!).

And for the record--- I support the OP's statements, totally understand where she's coming from, this is not a "hoax" and I am NOT "manhattanmama".

live and learn said...

I have a friend who worked as a nanny for a member of a royal family (no, I won't reveal which one) for over a decade. She lovingly devoted herself to her charges as if they were her own.
When the children were old enough to be without her, she was "released" from her nanny position with full-retirement, a small country house and glowing references in case she chose to become employed again. During her employ she was required to avoid speaking to the press and made to wear a uniform (neither of which bothered her in the least). She was also treated with utmost respect by both her employers and her charges.
While this is an unusual case involving an extremely wealthy family, employers here in the U.S. should take note---treat your nanny like gold and she will almost always reciprocate with enthusiasm and loyalty.
You get as good as you give...

Anonymous said...

I'd love to drop this nanny from an airplane on to Brook White's head.

Anonymous said...

Your question is absurd. There are good people everywhere. But bad nannies, now there's a frickin' epidemic.

Good employers, well we could write our own stupid little rant, too- couldn't we?

It cuts both ways sister. Get out of the nanny business before you're taken out in cuffs.

sprak said...

I absolutely loved manhattanmama's post. She gave me my laugh for the day. She's about as much a Manhattan Mom as I am. Moving beyond the illiterate impostor mama, however, I have something to say to 2:06 PM., who defends the sneaky, slacker OP whilst calling JD, who does remarkable, uncompensated, grueling work trying to protect and defend children, an ass. You should hang your mammoth, evil, wretched, snarly, lice-ridden head in shame. Now why not do us all a favor and slither on out of here. Oh, and by the way, don't mess with Jane Doe.

Anonymous said...

11:56pm, get a grip!
Why on earth would I be "taken out in cuffs"?? I've done nothing wrong (I'm not the OP, by the way...though I can't see that she's done anything wrong either) and have been a wonderful nanny for many years. That comment was beyond the pale. Mind your manners.
"Epidemic" of bad nannies? Is that so? Please prove your point (I want complete documentation).

And as far as a "good employer" rant is concerned...I'd love to read one. It would do my heart good to see a gathering of "good" employers, voicing their opinions. Where oh were are they all hiding?

Anonymous said...

^^^Good employers wouldn't have much to complain about. They treat their nannies well and their nannies treat their children well.
No problem.

Anonymous said...

11:56 That was just ugly.
And refrain from calling someone "sister" when you're busy insulting them.

marypp said...

Sprak is my hero!

sprak said...


mpp said...

Anonymous said...

8:11--You sound pathetically ignorant. Do you know the difference between a USDA dietary recommendation and a dietary limit? That amount is the recommended LIMIT. No one "needs" sugar in their diet. No one. Please educate yourself.

just anonymous said...

Am I the only person who thought the OP was being completely sarcastic? I guess I didn't take her literally, but just thought maybe she was blowing of steam in an odd way.

sstresu said...

1206, you smell a lot like OP.
As for your comment that you want complete documentation, how does it feel to want?

Get over yourself. The world doesn't owe you squat.

Now you know.

Original Poster said...

OP here, and for the record I haven't posted anything in these comments until now.

Thanks for all the advice to those who gave it. I simply ignored all the nastiness because I know I am not a terrible or even bad nanny. I'm just not the great nanny I could be.

I'm glad I seemed to have turned around at least two people, maybe they'll treat their nannies better now. I hope so. That was the intent of my post. I've been around this blog for quite some time so I know how ugly it can get. I AM sorry Jane got called nasty names and am grateful that she posted my rant, even though she strongly disagreed with it.

I spoke to my employer the other day about my problems, and she apologized but told me nothing can change because a nanny is supposed to work late hours with little or no notice because it's part of the job description. As is being expected to do other little extras during my down time. Although I really have no down time as the children are too old to take naps, and are home schooled, one at a time, so I always have one while the tutor is with the other. I gave 30 days notice and she seemed OK but that evening I received this email, I removed the names for obvious reasons.

I want to especially thank the person who gave that terrific outline of the rules she gives her family, I've copied them and will make sure they are agreed upon at my next job, IN WRITING! Thanks again everyone and God Bless! Here is the email



After our conversation today, I discussed it with my husband and we decided your services will no longer be needed. We will make temporary arrangements until a suitable sitter can be found.

We also feel that due to your inconsiderate and untimely abandonment of a position you knew was intended to be long term, you are not entitled to, nor will receive the agreed upon severance pay of three weeks salary. However, we realize that you did purchase various items for our children's use such as modeling clay, crayons, paper, etc. We have decided to reimburse you $200.00, in cash, which more than covers the cost of these items. We will also provide you with a satisfactory letter of reference. We feel this is more than fair. You may pick up your cash and the letter Saturday, 4/26/08 between the hours of 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM in the afternoon. If this is inconvenient for you, please call so we can arrange another time you can swing by when the children aren't home.

Good luck in any future endeavors.


Anonymous said...

Do you have a written contract? You should at least get your severance, especially since you agreed to work 30 more days. Keep the e-mail. It will serve as proof of your oral agreement to three weeks severance if there is no other written documentation.

Refusing severance because your employment was terminated is obviuously not going to be legal, since that is the very nature of what severance is!

to said...

I don't know what you are up to but I will not be RSVPing to your pity party.

I do not find you to be believable.

ro said...

That was me.

Anonymoose said...

Op good for you for finally sticking up for yourself. You don't sound all that bad to me, in fact, I think that in light of some of mean-spirited comments you recieved here, you have been incredibly gracious. You can legally sue for the severence if you want to but I wouldn't bother. I wish you well in the future and STICK TO YOUR GUNS!

Anonymoose said...

Oh and Ro, it looks to me like Op is up to the vile practice of remaining gracious under fire and, God forbid, updating us. THE HUMANITY OF HER ACTONS!!! As this post garnered 140 comments, it's nice to have that update. I wish more Op's would update us and we would have less of crap like your comment. Thanks so much for the update! :D

ro said...

I just don't buy her story.
I think she penned that letter herself. I think she is going to stay in the nanny job doing the same thing she has been doing because that is the best she can do. I do not believe she spoke to her employers or gave notice and again, I do not believe that letter is legit.

And I'm usually right.

fg said...

uh, I don't even think that really came from the OP. The part about "I'm glad I turned a couple of people around" was really phony as were the *reformed parent* posts. Barf
p.s. to whoever made the comment about Brooke White. Why is SHE still there? Double Barf

Anonymous said...

This is so sad, this nanny is taking the actions of the parents out on their children. She should talk to the parents if she really wants to change anything. I feel the worst for the children, this woman does not deserve to be a nanny.

employer #9 said...

I am a demanding employer.
I micromanage my nanny.
When she does 45 minutes of crafts with my daughter while the Occupational Therapist is working with my son, it is because I have advised her to. I have purchased every possible art supply a person would need and have painstakingly collected arts and crafts ideas over the past years. Every week I provide my nanny with at least three new ideas to try.
My nanny reads to my children throughout the day because I have fostered a love for books in them. I also send my nanny and the children to the library or bookstore at least once a week.
My nanny bakes with my children in the kitchen. I leave recipes and ideas for her to try. In the winter time, I collected the ingredients and accessories for edible snowman ornaments, advent calendars and gingerbread houses. Depending on the weather or schedule that day, I will leave my nanny a note that will read, “today would be a great day to try making the stained glass cookies with H”.
My nanny takes the children outdoors to play every single day, except in the most severe weather. I want my children to get outside and play everyday and I have made this more than clear. I call and ask her if she has been outside yet, if she hesitates I provide her more strict directions and suggest locations and activities. I encourage the nanny to play with the children or at least be available to them.
My children eat a very strict and healthy macrobiotic diet which I monitor regularly. My nanny doesn’t forget what they can and cannot have because I have discussed the diet ad nauseam and left more than one note reminding her of what an appropriate afternoon snack might be.
I greet the nanny at the end of the day and wait for her to fill me on on the days events. She knows I want to hear very specific information regarding what they did, who they saw at the park, what they are for lunch and if any behavior issues arose. My children are not perfect, nor do I expect them to be.
My nanny is well groomed and well spoken. Her references are stellar and we used a private investigator to run a through background check on her, complete a dmv report, verify her educational degree, etc.
If my nanny is 30 seconds late, I call her to see where she is. I provide her the same paid holidays I received and the same three weeks of paid vacation I receive. I do not pay for any other time off. I cannot. I don’t have cable in any of the common areas of the house. And if I need the nanny to do something extra during the day and she has time, I will most definitely ask her to do. I leave a list of nanny associated housekeeping tasks posted on the refrigerator, I leave instructions for the nanny on how to wash my children’s clothing. My nanny is not permitted to use my computer. The nanny is provided an airtight contract and list of do’s and don’t. Among the don’ts; please don’t borrow or wear my clothing or shoes, please do not drink alcoholic beverages during work hours and please don’t bring your laundry here to wash.

So, then, why some of you may I ask am I so controlling?

You have made me this way.

When I chose to return to work, I imagined hiring a nanny that would arrive with a smile on her face, utilize common sense and love spending time with my children. I imagined a nanny that would be honest, conscientious, kind and even treat me with respect. I spent a long time during my initial nanny search. I checked references. I verified backgrounds. What I got was a nanny who was always late and always had an excuse. Ask me how well this went over with my firm when I was trying to re establish myself and boasted of the in home childcare I had hired. I have had to leave important meetings with clients because my nanny was having severe menstrual cramps or my nanny’s grandmother was very sick and the nanny was getting too upset to be around my children as she thought about it. I have had a nanny simply not show up on Monday morning and then disappear forever. I have had kitchen gadgets, jewelry, cameras, alcohol and even shoes disappear forever from my life. I have given nannies the ability to set a schedule for my child only to find out that schedule involved swinging in an electric swing for hours on end, driving to frightening places such as Jersey City to visit friends, with my children in tow and running errands at the mall. I have tried to allow my nanny to work within the loose paramters of healthy eating, only to find my child had eaten brownies, cool aid, whoppers candy and PORK rinds. I originally provided two weeks vacation, one week of sick time and the holidays. But the nanny’s sick days always followed a day like the 4th of July. And I’ve lost clients because the nanny had a “stomache ache” and could not work on a day I told her I desperately needed her. I have had nannies prone to napping, nannies prone to noshing, text mad nannies, cell phone nannies and plain old lazy nannies. I’ve had nannies who delighted in misinforming me, “Oh I mean we were going to go to R Park, that didn’t work out” (After I dropped by to see if I could run in to them and spend some time with my child.) I originally hired a nanny with no housekeeping responsibility, figuring with one child, what would she need to do but the child’s laundry? At the end of the day I came home to half empty bottles, dirty bottles, her lunch dishes, glasses of coke everywhere. There were potato chip crumbs in my keyboard, actual muddy adult footprints on the kitchen floor, phis on the toilet seat, debris in the toilet bowl, toilet paper wadded everywhere, paper towels, bibs and burpies here and there. The pillows were strewn about, the remote was missing, magazines were ripped and lay sprawled across the house.

I’ve had a computer ruined because of programs that were loaded on while the nanny surfed all sorts of porn. (Yes, I have proof). I saw my nanny in the yard wearing a pair of flip flops one day and the next week I had athlet’s foot. I’ve had a nanny leave with my child during the day and drive to her home to pick up her family’s laundry and bring it back to my home to launder. I had a nanny that thought it would be a fun idea to “collect bees” with my four year old. (Yes, the four year old got bit). I had a nanny try to iron my daughter’s hair with a hair iron. (Yes, she got burned). I had a nanny who seemed to be hip to the idea of doing arts and crafts with the children. The children spoke of the cool lanterns they made, the candles, the soaps and the tote bags. Where were they? The nanny had taken my credit card to the craft store and purchased crafts that she and the children could make for her use. I even had a nanny ask the washing repair man if he could keep an eye on my youngest child while she ran to the bus stop to meet another child. I had a nanny I was especially fond of in tears when I returned from work. I tried to comfort her and she told me there had been a terrible accident and two of her uncle and cousin were dead and she needed to fly to Canada for the weekend. She asked to borrow money. I lent it to her and never saw her again.

Why post this? So you might understand why I don’t believe what you say. So you might understand why sometimes you think you hear a strange beep or bleep. (Nanny camera). I hope you understand how it is I lost my ability to trust…

Oh, and if I am late and don't let you know in advance, it's because my lackluster childcare has cost me so much professionally that I am not the one who makes the decision to say when I go. That decision is made for me.

Anonymous said...


marypoppin'pills said...

O.k., I wasn't too enthused when I read OP's post, but this Employer certainly takes the cake.

It seems like she's taking some kind of passive/aggressive revenge on her Nanny to pay for the sins of others.

I'm sorry you've been screwed by past Nannies, Micromanaging Mom, but why take it out on your present Nanny?
If she seems to be working out (and evidently bending to your every whim, because she's still there) - she's more than earned her position.

Lighten up.

Anonymous said...

oh wait, you mean OP didn't want a response from an employer?

It isn't called "copying"

It is called a "response".

Suck on it.

n said...

Dear Employer,

You are terminating me for leaving your child in the car to finish his nap. You were upset because you thought that the windows all being cracked wasn't enough. You didn't care that I went inside to make cookies for he and I. Oh no, you didn't want to hear that.

Before I leave, you are going to need to do some things for me.
First, you will write me a reference letter leaving out the latest incident. Second, you will provide me four weeks severence in a check dated with today's date. Third, you will put 100,000 in non sequential fifties in my pink puma tote bag and leave it for me in the bushes, along with 12-14 or your finer frozen steaks from the garage freezer. You are to tell everyone I quit do to a family emergency and returned to Michigan. And lastly, I would appreciate it if your husband apologized for all the times he made me feel dirty with his naughty, naughty eyes.

Anonymoose said...

Ro, wow I had no idea you are usually right! Please tell me how one actually becomes a know-it-all. My teenager thinks she is, but then, most teenagers do and like most know-it-alls they know nothing at all. So please enlighten me.

I am fairly certain the Op didn't write that letter herself because the cadence and flow of the written words aren't the same as her original post, or in the paragraphs that proceeded it. But that's just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Employer #9, I love it! I thought of doing this myself and boy could I tell some stories also. But I decided I didn't have the time or energy right now. I am glad you did, though have little hope that any of the nannies supporting OP will get the point.

I also agree with some others that the "OP's" response is fake. I do not believe it is OP. And if it is I doubt the "update" has any basis in reality.

cali mom said...

I don't think it's copycatting or at all unreasonable for an employer to leave a response like the Employer #9 lady. Furthermore, her management style doesn't even strike me as wholly unreasonable. At many corporate jobs, people might even share an office w/their boss, and many bosses work closely with employees. In fact I'd say most employees probably speak to their bosses multiple times in a day and (GASP!) have to read notes or emails from them, and if someone is drawn to a profession mainly because they think the perks of the job are waving to their boss at the beginning of their shift then waving goodbye again and leaving at the end of the day with no interaction, communication, SUPERVISION or accountability required, collecting tolls from drivers at the bridge crossing might be better suited to their capabilities. And as for spelling out that using the employers' computer or wearing their clothes is prohibited, ever hear of a company policy manual??

cali mom said...

And 5:20, I REALLY hope your post was meant to be facetious? If so, it's hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Employer #9:
"I checked references. I verified backgrounds. What I got was a nanny who was always late."

So you asked references, and they assured you that she was never late, and yet, when she worked for YOU, she was always late? You went through a thorough hiring process, and still ended up with a string of bad nannies. Strange! I wonder how the employers with wonderful nannies, whom they don't need to micro manage, go about hiring them, and why you have repeatedly had such bad luck!!!

Anonymous said...

I think employer #9 and r are both hilarious! Checkmate!

Anonymoose said...

Anon 9:30, and I think you are Ro just trying to make others agree with you.

FNG said...

To those of you inviting us, any of us, including the OP to "suck on it" or "Bite me." NO THNAK YOU. I don't know where it's been or what I could catch from you, but I'd wager it isn't very nice. It also makes you sound really juvenile and truly ignorant.

Also, I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt here and say thanks for updating us as well and also good luck! I really don't think she is as bad as she made herself sound.

Wise & Loving Nanny said...

The nanny-employer relationship is rather unique.
It's nothing like the corporate sector, the rules are completely different.
A great nanny is not just doing her job---she must become emotionally involved.
She must be dedicated to the lives of others.
Her job-performance is reflected in the minds and hearts of children, not in a profit margin or company inventory.
She must be willing and able to treat people who are not actually family like "family".
She must be flexible, scrupulously honest and tidy, compassionate, creative and energetic.
Loyalty is paramount.
Knowing how to be gracious and sweet (even on the most difficult days) is a requirement, not an option.
And a great employer is not just employing some random person for profit or advancement.
A great employer entrusts the lives of his/her children to someone else.
The employer must be fair, respectful, flexible, consistent, trusting and willing to treat someone who is not family like "family" a valued sister, aunt or grandparent.
A great employer understands that a great nanny is a blessing to the children and an incredible benefit to the employer's own ability to perform professionally outside the home with the assurance that the children are in loving, mature and capable hands.
Maintaining this balance is often tricky...but absolutely possible and crucial to the well-being and growth of children placed in any nanny's care.
Some people are simply incapable of being great nannies.
Some are incapable of being great employers.
It's important to know this about yourself---if you cannot handle the situation properly, don't inflict your dysfunction on the children.
Kindnesss and respect breed kindness and respect.
Nannies: Treat your employer and your charges wonderfully. Approach your job as if it were one of the most important jobs in the world...because it truly is.
Employers: let your children learn by your example.
Treat your nanny wonderfully and allow your children to grow into respectful, honorable young people who remember their nanny fondly in later years.

Anonymous said...

Amen, 1:10!

marypoppin'pills said...

Beautifully executed post, Wise & Loving Nanny!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you all deserve each other. Or rather, you do realize that as our respect for you diminished in relation to your enthusiasm and pride in your work, we did notice that you cut corners and cheated us and our kids? So we did what bosses do with underperforming, ethically retarded employees. We stopped giving a fuck if we treated you with respect and treated you exactly as your actions asked that you be treated. And at the point at which your performance has diminished to negligibly helpful, we'll fire your ass and move on. Two or three more of you and our kids will be in high school and we'll never have to harbor another malcontent who believes that the job she holds caring for our children gives her the status of a martyred saint in her own self deluded and withered soul, every perceived slight confirming her status as the most martyred nanny of all time, all the while excusing herself for the first sin of any failed professional, failing to recognize that she doesn't like her job to begin with and has no business being there and taking money for her half-assed efforts in the first place. When it comes to taking pride in a job, there are only 2 kinds of people. Those whose own standards for themselves will always be higher than anyone else's judgement of them, and those whose pride in their work depends on someone else's validation. You are of the second type and your situation is easily predictable and will continue to be no matter what you choose to do after you realize you need to do something other than punish children for the imagined shortcomings of your employers.

Anonymous said...


You're awful.

Take a Zanax and go away.

MetroNanny said...

2:22 you sound assinine! What kind of idiot harbors the idea 2 or 3 more of you and we will be rid of you about people expected to care for their children? Great job validating the OPs attitude. I was flip-flopping on my opinion on this until I read your post. Truly awful employers like you breed awful nannies. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have children.

mom said...

I think 2:22 is just making the point that it goes both ways. I think she is saying to OP that maybe she isn't as good an actress as she thinks she is, and maybe her employers are onto her charade, and maybe they're onto her attitude. Maybe the employers and the nanny are each contributing in their own ways to the deterioration of the situation, while each placing 100%of the blame on the other party.

I have a feeling that much of the time, if just one side, either the nanny or the employers are willing to go above and beyond in how they treat the other, the other party will often rise to the occasion and become a better boss/employee than they might have otherwise been. (Of course this can be true only in cases where neither party is simply out for themselves and looking to take advantage of the other for their own gain.) But given you are dealing with two reasonable, decent human beings this is how things tend to work.

ManahttanMamma said...

Mom, based on OPs update, and I have no reason to suspect it's false, she seems pretty straightforward. As others pointed out, a great many conclusions and assumptions were made based on what OP told us. A few others pointed that out yet no one seemed to address that very fact. I also see that a select few have gone back to judging which is the truth and what is false and who is fake and who is real.

And by the way, I very much am a Manhattan Mamma. I happen to live on Manhattan Court in my hometown. I never said I was from Manhattan. Although my family was originally from Hell's Kitchen, now known as the Clinton Area, of NYC. My grandmother attended Sacred Heart Scool there. So, Sprak darling, you know what they say about those who ASSume. Only this time, it's only U who are the ASS. But thanks for the warm welcome!

ManhattanMamma said...

Oops, let me correct the typo to MANHATTANMAMMA before Sprak has her orgasm of the day over it. And I'll go back to not posting anything and just reading and enjoying the wisdom of most and the ignorance of some here.

Anonymous said...

LMAO ...Orgasm of the day! Some of them here do get off on correcting spelling and grammatical errors.

It was so nice when Sprak was not posting. Can't that thing crawl back under her rock and take Ro with her.

mom said...

Really? O of the day, huh?

Well, all I can say is you're going to see a lot more of mom, and probably a lot of others, correcting grammar on this site. Clearly we've all been missing out on a really good thing!

mom said...

Manhattan Mamma at 10:38,

It's "school", not "scool."




marypoppin'pills said...

Thanks for the laugh, people.
I really needed it!

I think I may look for other ways of catching my "O".

Anonymous said...

I'm only doing this because I want an orgasm.

zanax = xanax

................uh .......hmmm ....
.......... mmm ........ nope.

I didn't get one either, mom.

Am I doing it wrong???

FNG said...

ManhattanMamma, I can't believe you had family that attended Sacred Heart School in HK! (We will never call it the Clinton section) I had family that attended that school and church as well. And Tony Danza attended Blessed Sacrament with my sister! She only remembered when he talked about it on his now cancelled show. She thought about it, looked up an old class picture from Kindergarten or 1st grade I think, and there he was! Small world.

Don't let the spelling nazis get you down. They are pretty common on the web. I had to get used to it as I am no one's poet and an awful typist!

Anonymous said...

Personally... I think JD is an ass and am appalled at the crap she posts.

FWIW... :)

t.r. said...

Yet here you are. Reading. Lapping it all up like the dirty dog you are.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I don't think I've ever seen Jane slammed so much in a thread, and all because she left a comment on HER own blog. For all the hard work she's put into making this a successful and extremely helpful blog, you guys are really a piece of work.

melamonk said...

If you're going to slam someone, atleast be clever, not redundant.

mom said...

t.r. at 5:28

I couldn't have said it better myself!

What's that term OP likes so much again? Oh yeah...Check mate!

Anonymous said...

OP: Best of better luck to you! Work smarter, not harder. For the "right" employer, I'm convinced your enthusiasm and dedication for being the nanny you know you can be (and be proud of) will be restored.
Onward and Upward!

Sprak said...

"Manhattan Court Mama"
I must wonder why you chose to go by "manhattanmama" and made the following statement "from now on, I will be on time coming home and ask rather than tell my nanny when I will be late" if you weren't trying to insinuate that you lived in Manhattan where many nannies are employed? However, going by the ignorant writing in your post, I correctly guessed that you were not a Manhattan Mama at all. FYI, I never correct anyone's grammar or spelling, but I sometimes remark on a post that spews ignorance. Believe me, Manhattan "Cout" Mama, no spell check is going to resolve your problem. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

"cout"? what does that mean?

Unless you meant to add an H at the end to it, because manhattanmama needs some.

Sprak said...

Well, now, I really can't give her the "h" but I'll give her the "r" because she is, for sure, Manhattan Court Mama! Thanks for pointing that out, and by the way, that is one of the reasons I never correct anyone's spelling. I notice my typing has gotten quite sloppy since not working for awhile.

Anonymous said...

That's funny, because I thought you did it on purpose!

...shh! next time don't say anything!

Manhattanmamma said...

Sprak, may I ask why you are such a disagreeable bitch? Did I do something to offend you with my first posting here other than state that OP's post made me think twice about things I do? Did I personally attack or insult you to warrant your insults and accusations? I re-read my first post here, and can't find a single thing I said to cause you to call me an imposter or illiterate. Perhaps I'm not the best writer in the world, what gives you the right to be such a nasty toad? Does insulting people make you feel better about yourself? Did someone hurt you in the past so badly, that this is how you lash out at people? Three generations of my family come from New York City, and I was born there and it so happens we moved to Manhattan C-0-U-R-T when we bought our town home. I use that handle for many things and thought I might use it here. Not that I owe a nasty heifer like you and explanation. I understand you didn't like OP or her post, and I understand you might not agree with people who might have defended her or thanked her for it. I have had my nanny for a few years now and I happen to come home late quite often without asking if it's OK which I have now apologized for and corrected. And there are probably as many nannies employed in the area I live in and the surrounding towns as in Manhattan. And we working parents tend to get in later because we have to commute. So you seem pretty ignorant to this area and your attempt to explain your nonsense makes absolutely no sense.

I ask you, why do you have to be such a vicious dog? And yes, I am damn well insulting your ass now because you well deserve it. So go to Hell, Sprak. And take your vainglorious attitude with you. There I pulled that word out of my ass just for you, sweetheart.

MetroNanny said...

Since we're nitpicking, Sprak, she spells her name with two Ms, not one.

Also I think it's odd that Sprak posts and 6 minutes later, someone anonymous backs her up. Sprak posts again and exactly 6 minutes later, her good old anonymous supporter shows up again.

Great post Manhattan Mamma. IMO, Sprak deserved everything you gave her.

Sprak said...

Just so you know, Metro Nanny,
I always post with the name I use on here. I am not afraid of feedback, even ignorant, pointless feedback such as yours, nor do I solicit 'back up' from anyone. Also, as I said, I don't worry about spelling errors from myself or anyone, nor do I care if Manhattan Court Mama spells her impostor name incorrectly. I pointed out what I felt was a very questionable post from a woman who I feel tried to deceive other posters by calling herself "manhattan mama" when her writing and grammar seem more befitting of an East Flatbush Mama.

Metronanny said...

Sprak, now I understand the problem. No job and probably no man. Bitter, bitter, bitter woman. Are you divorced?

Sprak said...

M Court Mama,
Once again you've given me a quite a laugh with your slavishly crude post defending the skulduggery of your original post. To answer one of your many questions, I do find it offensive when people post here in an effort to deceive, and I very much disagree with that practice. While I did voice my suspicions about your post, I was not the only one. You are very transparent and overly defensive, giving credence to my immediate doubts about you. Cheers.

Sprak said...

As I said MetroNanny, I am not at all bothered by ignorant, pointless feedback. However, I do eventually get bored by it and I'm definitely at that point now with you. Bye Bye.

Anonymous said...

You know a good cat fight is needed every so often in here LOL At least ya'll can hold your own.
Thanks for the laughs ladies!!

Manhattanmamma said...

Ok Sprak, so the answer is no, I didn't say or do anything to you, but you felt you had to attack me because you think I am a fake and it's your God-given right and sworn duty to protect the good people of ISYN from fakes like me. Ok got it. Thanks and Buh-Bye.

Anonymous said...

Later Sprak, don't let the virtual door hit you in the ass!

Manhattanmamma said...

FNG, it is a small world! Ever eat breakfast at EJs? It's awesome! So is Turkish Cusine! If you like Turkish food and haven't been, you should go, it's great!

undercover regular said...

O.k. Ladies, back to your neutral corners.

I don't like to see all this bitterness, especially between regulars: metronanny & sprak!

Both of you are fantastic posters. And one of the main reasons I like you is your ability to speak your mind so openly - for example, metronanny's 8:57 post.

And we all know sprak has a tendency to be abrasive, but I think that's part of her charm! And I seriously doubt she was backing up her own posts. A lot of the regulars here have their own fans that'll do it for them, trust me.

I'm sorry for butting in, but I had to say my peace.

Oh, and welcome to the blog, manhattanmamma!

ManhattanMamma said...

Thanks Undercover Regular!

I honestly didn't come here looking for fight but I just don't have the personality to sit back and let someone go off on me for no reason. Disagreeing with me is fine but if someone wants to start name calling, they will get plenty right back from me. I know two wrongs don't make a right but I have a terrible temper and I ususally try to count 10. LOL

I do put my big mouth to better use than this though! I am a volunteer advocate for special needs kids. I go to IEP meetings with parents who can't afford an advocate or attorney when the district is screwing them over. I may not pen great prose but I do pretty damn well going head to head with the suits from districts who try to screw parents, already frazzled from dealing with the challenges of raising a special child, to save a few bucks. I know plenty about NJ Special Education law so if anyone ever needs advice in that area, please feel free to ask!

Anonymous said...

I usually post here as anonymous and sometimes as someone called Regularly Anonymous (real inventive huh?

I try not to take sides but in this case, I was going to say a lot more. However, after Undercover's post, I will refrain from typing most of what is on my mind.

I will say I think Sprak was wrong. I also think she owes ManhattanMamma an apology.

Anonymous said...

I will admit I'm a sprak fan. Sorry, can't help it.

I think all of these posters got a bit hotheaded, and everyone owes an apology, because they were batting back and forth.

And to manhattanmamma, thank you for posting back.

"I know two wrongs don't make a right" -- (9:40am)
That was nice to admit.

So, how 'bout it sprak?

anonymous1 said...

Hmmmm... I didn't see where Sprak actually called anyone a name in last night's dust up although she had a lot of doubts about manhattanmamma (put in her own special sprak way). i was misled by that choice of names too but whereever manhattanmamma comes from of course she is welcome here. i don't think sprak was the one calling names tho her critism was harsh

Anonymous said...

She used the term ignorant, but hey, you know sprak, lol.

anonymous1 said...

calling a post ignorant was worse than calling someone a bitch, toad, heifer, dog, ass, etc? very lopsided, methinks but what do I know

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