Received Thursday, March 13, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I need help on how to quit my current situation and how much notice is required/customary. This situation certainly isn't normal so I'm unsure of how to end it.
I'm a Live-Out Nanny/Household Manager for a family with four school aged children, making roughly between $11-$15 hourly. I've been with the family for almost two and a half years now, but it has become increasingly apparent that this relationship needs to end. You see, when I started the family was your typical nuclear, filthy rich, but surprisingly liberal family. They were desperate for a nanny as their last nanny had quit with no notice (should have been a clue, huh?). I was a college student over five hours from home with only ten dollars in my pocket. So there were no reference, background, resume, or neglect checks. Just a "so you're free after this time, great show up Monday!" No contract, no discussion, just under the table stupidity. Things were good for the first 8 months, kids were rude and revolting a little but nothing more than typical kid stuff. The parents were very respectful of my scheduling needs and monetary compensation was terrific. Then I went on vacation with them, and everything fell apart. Parents were constantly fighting and screaming profanities in front of children. This started the divorce process. It has been an ugly battle for the past year and a half. I've been there for every minute of it. This public divorce has even been written about in the paper, causing humiliation for them and myself (since my name was used).
Since this divorce process started the kids have become absolutely defiant and violent. I have been stabbed, punched, kicked, bit, cussed out, given black eyes, etc. Parents are living in separate houses and I travel between houses with the kids. Parent A has become absolutely awful. Parent A doesn't pay on time, in full, or willingly. Parent A often cancels care at very last minute. My hours have diminished from 35+ a week to 3-5 with this parent who has custody 2/3 of the time. Parent A is constantly threatening termination (upon lawyer's advice), thinks I'm telling secrets to Parent B, sends text messages about everything at all hours, and allows children to behave in increasingly violent ways towards me. Parent A is the main reason I want to quit. Parent B however turned out to be a great person. Parent B pays on time, in full, constantly shows signs of appreciation, and does not allow kids to injure me. Unfortunately, I can't support myself on just Parent B's schedule so I have to quit both parents. I do have a job lined up with an agency, and am taking the necessary steps (including a contract). The kids are really in the middle of this mess, and although they literally beat me black and blue I still care for them. They are great kids when given the chance. I want to still be there for them emotionally, but I can't be there every day anymore. The situation is emotionally, physically, and financially draining. How can I quit without hurting the kids? Also do I have to give notice to Parent B but not Parent A? If so how much notice? Parent B has really stuck out his/her neck for me and I feel awful about quitting and leaving him/her without help. Any advice would be great!
Note: Parent A and Parent B was used because I really don't feel like exposing myself or them to anymore controversy.