Friday

Westchester Mall Food Court in White Plains, NY

Received Friday, December 14, 2007
I saw your nanny burping and carrying on like a 12 year old boy. I found her behavior disgusting and offensive. This happened on Thursday afternoon at approximately 4:20 PM. Your nanny is a Caucasian female, approximately 24-28 yrs old, average height and weight with blond hair worn short and three earrings in each ear. Her behavior encouraged her charges (and their friends) to mimic her. This caused a disturbance and upset to those of us civilized people around them. Surely, you would be mortified to see your own children behaving in such a manner. Please talk with your nanny about etiquette. Also address elbows on the table, appropriate indoor voices, bathroom words, gross out stories and "coughing" insults at people who walked by them. Nanny was with three male children all between 8-12, all white with short hair and Connecticut looks.

53 comments:

happynanny said...

Ummm WHAT THE HELL...

Go climb back into whatever magical fancy bubble you came from where people don't burp or have bodily functions.

c'mon, in a group of 8-12 year olds toilet humor is probably the funniest thing in the world to them.

This nanny is probably just trying to find a way to relate to and entertain her charges, and by the sound of it she was doing a pretty good job of it!

Get over yourself and stop being such a prude.

Postings such as this infuriate me!

Vesta said...

I would understand if this was chram school, but it's not. Keep their elbows off the table? Seriously? I think the nanny was doing a good job relating to the pre-teen boys. You try taking care of 3 roudy boys of that age... you'll wind up burping too.

Anonymous said...

Connecticut looks?

thats just the deal sealer, youre definately a judgemental bitch.

Melamonk said...

YOu are both wrong!
"elbows on the table, appropriate indoor voices, bathroom words, gross out stories and "coughing" insults at people who walked by"

Coughing insults at people? And encouraged to do so by some piglike nanny? I don't think so!

Anonymous said...

Wow! How judgemental of you! She was sitting in a food court of a mall! Not eating dinner at the Ritz Carlton. And, since she was with 3 boys-I bet they just thought she was the coolest.

Anonymous said...

I dont get it. OP was obviously eating at the food court too. Don't manners carry over wherever you are? And who is suggesting this behavior is acceptable. Insulting people is cruel. You think teaching children to be cruel is wonderful?

spl said...

The Westchester Mall Food Court is probably one of the top five Mall Food Courts in the US. The Westchester Mall is a fine Simon property.

Anonymous said...

the only thing that would upset me is the "coughing" insults at people. but seriously there is definitely worse nanny behavior

Anonymous said...

My guess is this was an older sister...

Anonymous said...

I will say, the coughing the insults at people is wrong.

Anonymous said...

Oh! It's a top five mall food court-eh? Oooh, ladeeda! Should i wear my ball gown next time I go there? give me a break!

mom said...

It may be an older sister. She sounds too immature to be a nanny.

If this was a nanny, then the behavior is completely unacceptable. Remember, the nanny is suposed to be raising the children according to the parents instructions and in a way that thay would find acceptable if they were there watching. It's her JOB. She is the daily example they have of an adult behaving appropriately in public. She is not hired to be one of the kids, or their same-maturity-level friend.

Although I know that kids act this way at a certain age, I would never sit with my own and act this way in public, or allow them to do so in my presence. And if I heard about it later from an observer, they would definitely be hearing about it from me. When I was a kid, we told "dirty jokes," etc., but we did it on the playground, etc., WAAAAY away from the adults in charge. Why? because we knew it was UNACCEPTABLE behavior and that we would get in trouble if we got caught. In other words, although we were by no means perfectly behaved, we at least knew the difference between right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, and how to act "appropriately" in different situations. How are kids to know these things if the adults in their lives don't bother to teach them to them and set a good example? I think manners, consideration for others, and common decency are VERY IMPORTANT things that we need to be very sure to instill in our children.

We have come to a place where movie theaters need to make RULES about what hours children can be brought in to the theater. This should never have become necessary. People have become so selfish that we need to make and enforce rules to ensure common courtesy? Soon we will start seeing signs on Starbucks and other businesses that say no children below a certain age are allowed in unattended...because people are not teaching their children to have any manners or to be considerate of other people's feelings. Instead of being seen as a joy to be with, children will become unwelcome in many situations. How unfair is that to children in general?

This post is really no different than the one where people were complaining about toddlers running through Barnes and Nobel destroying property and disturbing others. Later, these are the same kids we will read about being kicked off of airplanes for being unable to control themselves as adults.

People who allow thir kids to behave this way and to not set (or at least provide) a good example for their children are doing them, and society in general, a great disservice.

Anonymous said...

Relax, relax, its not that big of a deal. Except, for the part where the little shits were making fun of people.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that would upset me is allowing the insults. Otherwise, she was playing with the kids in a way that engaged and amused them. If they were too loud for you, just MOVE. There are plenty of tables in that food court and it is always loud there. And BTW, unless you consider Nathan's fine dining, you shouldn't go there expecting a restaurant atmosphere. Take the walk down to PF Changs or City Lights if you want a restaurant. (Although I LOVE me some Ranch One--so I'll take the food court any day).

mom said...

True enough. This is not heinous.

However, it is definitely bad enough to be worthy of posting on ISYN.

I would want to know.

I wouldn't fire the nanny, but I would definitely want the opportunity to talk with her about her role and influence on my children. I wouldn't want a steady stream of this behavior going on without my knowledge.

I care more than that about my kids.

Anonymous said...

Mom:
I am in total agreement with you on the manners issue. Well said!
We don't know what the parents standards are houever. My guess is the kids act like this at home.
Children who are taught to be considerate of others feelings don't make fun of people, even if their friends do.
I also think this is probably the big sister.

Anonymous said...

My favorite part of the post is "Connecticut looks".
Meaning?
OP must be a "Westchester type"... in which case, I am sorry to say, my heart goes to the loud kids.
Hint for OP: being rich and stupid actually does not make you "civilized".

Anonymous said...

At least they werent throwing things at people. When my step son was 8 or 9 yrs old I took him shopping. When we were in the super market he would bowl grapefruits down the asile, or throw toliet paper over the shelves. He wasnt allowed back in the store again. And his mom knew of his behavior. And yes I would tell him to stop.

Anonymous said...

How do we even know this was a nanny. Maybe it was their older sister or a cousin or something.

pasadenamom said...

Mom, I completely agree with you. Even my 2 y/o knows a lot better. I think it's never to early to start teaching them about proper etiquette. He says "Excuse me" when in a crowd, and "Excuse me" when he burps. You just have to be persistent. There are many other ways this nanny could bond with the children. I got the feeling, though, that maybe she was a big sister or cousin.

Anonymous said...

The Simon Malls in MA (not sure about other locations) now have rules about teenagers being in groups of 4 or more, insulting people, being on any type of "wheels" or swearing. If you have any of that going on they kick you out. How bout the teenagers who are well behaved? Is it fair that they get kicked out all the time for being in a group of 4 or more? Manners need to be instilled in children by whoever is watching them in my opinion.

marypoppin'pills said...

This brings to mind a (sort of) funny story. About 2 wks. ago, I was getting my son ready for school and brushing his teeth. Out of no where comes this very loud, very funny burp. I couldn't help but laugh, but I knew my mistake as soon as I did. He has now gone on a mission of burping every opportunity he gets, as loud as he can, as often as he can. I've asked him nicely to quit, cover his mouth, say excuse me ... the works. My laughing in essence gave him my approval.
We have now buckled down and I have told him I am not kidding anymore. So this morning he burps and quickly covers his mouth and says "excuse, me". I smiled and said, "Good job"!
I didn't know it would be such a big deal, but now I know better, and have learned my lesson!
Good manners, always.

Aunty Rhea said...

The only thing I think the parents should discuss is the coughing insults at people.

She should be showing the kids NOT to judge people and to be kind, not how to best insult them..

But as for the elbows on the table and burping... thats boys. I hate when people do it, but maybe she is new and trying to get on their good side.

tree said...

Connecticut looks? What's that? This lady was playing with the boys. Don't be so uptight. If it bothered you you should of left. This could be one of the boys sister or relative.

Anonymous said...

connecticut looks are, and I'm not positive but I think that the bous all have pouffy hai with lots of volume, giant teeth and rosy cheeks.

Anonymous said...

I meant the boys all have pouffy hair.

Damn nog.

cali mom said...

jeehs peeepl we ant in libarre ore anglush klas so whhy wee godda spel gud you snobs ass fuch u.

OK, so the argument that "it's just a food court at a mall so burping loudly, yelling, loud use of toilet words/humor and gross discussions when *other* people are trying to eat is perfectly acceptable", is every bit as stupid as the old "this is just the internet so who cares if we know how to spell a 3 letter word (like Y-O-U) correctly" or punctuate get a life bitch".

I suspect this was NOT a nanny (I'd HOPE not!) but a relative, family friend, PT babysitter whose only job duty was to keep the rude boys safe and at least 90% out of trouble. (ie, not getting arrested). Yeah, she was "engaging" them. Good for her. It is unacceptabe for an adult to practice, or encourage, this type of rudeness. Elboes on the tabvle, not a big deal, but the rest???

You may claim to have some money but if you think this is fine and acceptable, you are TRULY ghetto. I can tell you, we never had much money when I was growing up, but mt mom put an absolute TOP priority on teaching us manners and the importance of education.

cali mom said...

'Scuse all my typos, LOL!

And let me add, my 3 yr. old is in a "peepee poopoo hah" phase. I discourage it, and I would NOT tolerate it if he were 12. Let alone 28.

Jamie said...

All I can say, if this were a nanny, and I the employer, she would be fired. This type of behavior is not acceptable. I wasn't raised up that way, and my children won't be either. Despite what many may think, money does not equate class.

Anonymous said...

I've been a nanny for 5 years, and all the families I've ever worked for would sing my praises up and down. That being said, my favorite babysitter ever would put kleenex on the table in each of our place-settings as soon as our parents left and we would have a BOOGER SNORTING CONTEST in which we would take turns holding a nostril shut and blowing whatever snot we could come up with upon said "napkin", the winner being the one with the biggest pile of phlegm on the tissue. While the moral up-bringing of my awesome parents would never permit me to do as such with any of my charges, I recognize and appreciate that my parents were so happy my sister and I loved our babysitter so much they didn't care how many Totino's party pizzas we ate, they just wanted us to be content. OP sounds like a stuck-up, bored mom who doesn't even care to find the time to educate her OWN children, much less anyone else's. Food court= screw it. Like anyone that would eat that garbage has an Ivy-league up-bringing. I love eggs benedict as much as a Big Mac, but there is a time and place for everything. I could piss my pants in a food court and they'd still thank me for visiting the dumb mall.

no big deal it could be worse said...

4:27

Well put. The OP sounds stiff and boring. Glad she isn't my parent. My life would be bored. I wouldn't be enjoying my childhood. The kids are probably behaving this way because they are not allowed to be boys around their mom so the lady is allowing it when she is with them. She isn't abusing them. They are having fun.
Maybe the people say they don't allow this behavior but your not with your school aged kids all the time so maybe they do act up and do drugs, smoke and have sex behind your back. So this isn't bad compared to the other things.

Anonymous said...

4:27
You are the most disgustingly uncouth person in the world. Snot contests? Are you kidding me? I bet your parents would be so proud! Let me guess - you're NOT married?

nikola said...

Nanny with the high approval for snot contests, besides being revolting-you are also missing the mark. I have children who act silly and carry on WITH each other. And even in OUR home, they don't do so AT THE TABLE or DURING homework time or at any other time except when they are just being kids and playing. Kids burp. And they think it's funny. My kids know I don't think it's funny. And when they carry on in certain ways at home, they know because they are reminded that they better never act like that at Grandma's house, in school, at their friends or yes, even at the mall. As long as my children are safe and have a smile on their face, I am pretty flexible with what they do. I would draw a line at ony bodily fluid contest.

ericsmom said...

4:27

Okay a line has to be drawn...and that was the most disgusting posting I have read.

Alicia said...

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?

i got the apple! said...

People, a line has to be drawn here. No one is saying to not let children be children, or that it's wrong when they find it funny in youth and immaturity to have bodily functions such as burping. What we are instead saying, is that it's wrong when an adult participates in such a manner. It is one thing to engage children, it is another to be so low down on their level, that you become "one of them", causing them to view you as a "child" and to lose all respect for you (and eventually in turn, other adults.) I don't see a problem with kids burping and laughing, I see a problem with a mentor (whether it be a nanny, teacher, parent, or Priest) doing it along with the kids and encouraging it! When a caregiver stoops this low, it is only causing the kids harm. How? Because when they are left alone in public environments (such as school) and attempt to pull the same behavior that she deemed acceptable they will in fact get in trouble, and to me that is unacceptable and unfair. As an adult (care-provider) it is our duty to set standards, and one of these duties, is to teach children societal rules so that they can eventually become a success in this world. I am not saying that children shouldn't be aloud to let lose, I am saying that there is a time and place for everything, and if a mentor can't teach that than who can? It's a shame that we are patting this immature caregiver on the back, when in all honesty she is setting these poor little boys up to get reprehended at every turn they take. Let's be honest, the only reason they weren't kicked out of this food quart is because to everyone's dismay there was an adult present encouraging the behavior, had they been alone acting "out" like this, they would have been asked to leave.

Do Everything Well said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
marypoppin'pills said...

Um ... do everything well? You 'allowed' a 1st grader to put himself in time-out for an hour? And the kids never responded to you, or were affectionate to you until after you punished them? And you taught them how to cheat at a game?
I'm not so sure I agree with those methods. An hour of time-out, voluntary or not, is extremely excessive. Do you think quite possibly they were afraid of your 'tough love' approach, and that's why it took them awhile to warm up to you?
Either way, your Blog definately makes for an interesting read whereas most are so painfully boring.

Do Everything Well said...

marypoppin'pills, thanks for your comments! Your screenname is funny.

I don't think any of my kids are afraid of me. I hope not. But I do think they know they can't walk all over me. The first-grader was only put in time out for seven minutes, but refused to leave. He is a sweetheart but when he wants to be, he is incredibly, incredibly stubborn. Because of the gravity of the situation as I had never seen a child react like this, I was on the phone with his mother and father telling them what happened, and they told me to leave him be and let him rejoin the rest of us when he's ready. I felt really uncertain if I was doing the right thing, but he used the time to cool down and collect his thoughts and all turned out extremely well that day. He's been great ever since.

As for the hugging, he is not a big hugger. Some kids aren't. He doesn't hug anyone but his mother, so it was very sweet when he hugged me. It was the ultimate acceptance for this particular child who doesn't just hand out hugs.

To explain the cheating child a bit more, it was a fine line I guess. He was 10 years old and he secretly moved the spinner to a more desirable number. I saw him do it, and he looked at me thinking he was busted. I gave him a little wink, deciding not to make a mountain out of a molehill, but with a look that also said, if you do it again, good luck. He didn't do it again. But he still talks about remember that one time we were playing such and such and the spinner just "happened" to land on 5? He had a blast and if I wasn't confident this particular child understands it's just a game, just a little joke, and completely different than bending the rules in other contexts, I wouldn't have let him.

Anonymous said...

427, why do I have this picture of you sitting in front of your computer with an open can of spam? Your whole post disgusted me, by the way. You really work with children? That, my friend, is indeed scary.

Anonymous said...

Whoa there....
Sounds like they were just having fun. At least the nanny is trying to bond with her charges.

marypoppin'pills said...

Do everything well
Thanks for the insight, I get you now. I know of a time or two my son misbehaved and he took it upon himself to 'dole' out his own punishment. He was maybe 4 or 5 at the time and I think coming to realize the difference between right and wrong? ... or maybe asserting his independence? Who knows, kids can definately throw you off your mommy game sometimes, lol.

Anonymous said...

WHAT do you mean exactly when you say " Connecticut looks"?
That is horrible
and disgusting of you that you would stereotype someone like that.
I'M from connecticut and i don't look any different from anyone in white plains
stop being so judgemental

not ct looking said...

Calm down CT, I'm from Elmsford and when I hear CT looks, I think someone who looks clean. Maybe the people in White Plains don't look as freshly scrubbed as the people from CT?

Anyway, it's a ct compliment.
I think the new licence plates have it engraved in the metal.

Anonymous said...

As a mom and nanny I am shocked at the number of people here who are defending this sort of crude, rude behavior because "She is trying to bond with her charges" or because they are "Boys"
I thinking burping loudly in public is DISGUSTING. Regardless if you are a man, woman, boy or girl doing it. Gas happens, and I was told to try to be as discreet about passing it as possible, the same rules applied to my brother BTW! Being loud and obnoxious in public is a right of passage for teenagers, I get that, I was one myself once, but NOT in the presence of the adult who is supposed to correct that sort of behavior now so when the kids grow up they realize it's unacceptable. No matter at a 5 star establishment or the Local McD's. And coughing insults at people is just plain bad behavior. Those of you defending this sort of thing...what if you where passing with your child and someone coughed out "Ugly baby" would you be so forgiving then? When I go to the mall (And I live in Bergen County NJ, the mall capitol of the world) I am well aware that I will encounter droves of teenagers behaving badly but I always think ill of the parents when I see kids behaving poorly with them.

OP, the nanny you saw is an idiot and shouldn't left in charge of a dog let alone kids.

Anonymous said...

*cough*, *cough*
"ugly baby"
*cough*

You said it all, girl! Love it!

Anonymous said...

The only way to ensure that your kids are behaving "properly" is to monitor their behavior yourself, not entrust them to an employee in the hopes that they'll catch on.

Also, it's a food court.

Anonymous said...

The only way to ensure that your kids are behaving "properly" is to monitor their behavior yourself, not entrust them to an employee in the hopes that they'll catch on.

Also, it's a food court.

Anonymous said...

The only way to ensure that your kids are behaving "properly" is to monitor their behavior yourself, not entrust them to an employee in the hopes that they'll catch on.

Also, it's a food court.

Anonymous said...

The only way to ensure that your kids are behaving "properly" is to monitor their behavior yourself, not entrust them to an employee in the hopes that they'll catch on.

Also, it's a food court.

Anonymous said...

connecticut ish ... hmmmm well that alone is very westchester ish . this must be a mom who is rich and had her kids raised by a nanny while she sat around and did hmmm...NOTHING . well other then the insult i give kudos to the nanny for letting the kids have fun because thats what kids do.i m sure she wants to make sure the kids know they have a friend in her when needed and im sure they respect her alot more then your kids respect you !!!!! GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE FOR A MINUTE AND LOOK how you acted when you were that age

BlogSmog said...

Look, in the old days, when kids were kids were taught to be well mannered and barely said a word that wasn't a good idea either.. so too shy isn't good, too outgoing is good? So it's perfection that is sought? Let me tell u something, whoever u are that wrote this crap tattle-tale of a thread. young teens are rude and obnoxious it's their teen-age instinct to be so around adults. Why you ask? Because look what they have to look forward to? People like the tattle-tale who has no backbone or empathy. Teens can see much more than any adult can because the adult is blinded by mortgage payments, job stress, marriage stress and yada yada yada.. leave the young alone, for gods sakes look what mess they will have to clean up in this country that 'we' well-mannered adults have left behind for them!

War, Iraq, Afghanastan, 9/11, NRA making handguns like they're candy bars, poverty, status disparity, inequality, discrimination, racism, "extremely poor standards that are standards for the extremely poor" (gerard haughey)! That should do for now.

I don't blame them for coughing insults at adult passers-by! I can totally understand it.

billnhill said...

Look, in the old days, when kids were kids were taught to be well mannered and barely said a word that wasn't a good idea either.. so too shy isn't good, too outgoing is good? So it's perfection that is sought? Let me tell u something, whoever u are that wrote this crap tattle-tale of a thread. young teens are rude and obnoxious it's their teen-age instinct to be so around adults. Why you ask? Because look what they have to look forward to? People like the tattle-tale who has no backbone or empathy. Teens can see much more than any adult can because the adult is blinded by mortgage payments, job stress, marriage stress and yada yada yada.. leave the young alone, for gods sakes look what mess they will have to clean up in this country that 'we' well-mannered adults have left behind for them!

War, Iraq, Afghanastan, 9/11, NRA making handguns like they're candy bars, poverty, status disparity, inequality, discrimination, racism, "extremely poor standards that are standards for the extremely poor" (gerard haughey)! That should do for now.

I don't blame them for coughing insults at adult passers-by! I can totally understand it.