Tuesday

Too old too nanny?

Received Tuesday, December 4, 2007- Perspective & Opinion
I am in the process of interviewing candidates to care for my 1 year old daughter. I have had many wonderful applicants-I am wondering if I should perhaps hire the young woman with babysitting experience and minimal childcare classes, or hire the applicant in her early thirties with lots of childcare experience, childcare courses and minimal nanny experience? My friend thinks the older applicant is too old to nanny, and that I should hire someone younger. The older applicant appears to be more qualified, yet my friends keep telling me to hire someone younger. This is my child and I really like the older applicant, even though she has no prior nanny experience. Any thoughts?

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you had found a suitable candidate, you wouldn't be asking. Keep on looking.

Meme said...

How old is your friend??? A woman in her 30's is too old? I didnt have children at all until I was in my 30's and I do great with a toddler and pre-schooler full time sahm at neary 39. You need to go with the best qualified candidate, but to discount a nanny because she is in her 30's is absurd.

unreal said...

What world do you live in where someone in her 30s is too old to nanny or take care of a baby? is this a serious question? When i read 'too old to nanny", I expected you to say you had someone in their 60s interviewing. 30s is by far not too old!

Anonymous said...

Oh, does that mean I'm too old to nanny. I'm just about to turn 41 and have been doing this for a long time.

Anonymous said...

Are you serious? In her 30s is old?? You are either very young yourself, or are not actually hiring a real Nanny. In which case, I feel sorry for your child.

Anonymous said...

LOL, are your friends teenyboppers? Most of the moms I know are in their thirties, so they are too old to take care of their children!
In the past, much of the child care was handled by grandmothers. Your friends are ridiculous!

Anonymous said...

Since when is early thirties old? I'm 44 and just had my third child. I hired what I considered a young nanny (she's 31) and she's excellent. I would never consider a "nanny" in her early or mid 20's.

Anonymous said...

Is this a joke or something?? early-30's is old??? Since when?

tree said...

I was in my 30's when I was a nanny and I was good. I had lots of energy to keep up with the two toddlers.

Anonymous said...

Your friend is threatened for some reason. I was a so so nanny when i was younger because duh, I had little experience with children or with basic decorum. In my late 20's early 30's I grew into a stellar nanny with great references, all longterm.
Listen to your instincts not your friend who wants you to hire someone you (or she) can push around.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

There is a lot of wisdom that comes with age.

I'm a better mother at 37 than I was at 30. I imagine a nanny is the same.

At this point you really have to take me seriously because I just told you my real age. ;)

Further, your instincts should not be ignored when parenting.

mom said...

First, "I am happy to hear that people here are in their 30s or 40s. (Yea meme!)I am 45 and was afraid maybe I was waaaayyyy older than anybody here. Guess I just started mommying younger than most. I had my first two years out of college.

Anyway...I don't think the mom here is confused. She has met both nannies and feels really good about one. The only confusing thing here is WHY she would let her friends (have they met both candidates and interviewed them extensively?) override her own instincts!?

And 30 is young...not all that different from 20 in age (although a decade may sound like a lifetime if you are very young yourself), except that the 30 year old will have a fully developed cerebral cortex and more life experience to draw from. Didn't you say she also has more experience with children? Having raised one child to college age and having two still in the works, I can say with every assurance that I would be a far better parent if I started all over today than I was when I was younger. There is nothing....no amount of reading or classes...that can match or replace the experience of
getting in there and actually raising children. Books may sound like a great way to go...until you find out that every child is different and none of them fits exactly into any of the molds they present in any of the books!

If it were me, I would choose the older, more experienced every time, if all other factors were equal. But it doesn't even sound like all else is equal. Choose the one YOU prefer. One thing seems fairly certain if you have been reading on here long...how comfortable you are together seems to be a very important factor in choosing a nanny. You are not buying a television. This is going to be a person in your home.

Anonymous said...

I am 43 and just started full time child care at 38. I have to turn work away because people want an older, wiser and more mature person caring for their child.
All of the families I work with now have given up on younger nannies who were unreliable and inattentive.

Anonymous said...

Just an FYI in case this helps with your decision: my son's nanny is 36 and I adore her. She's got lots of energy and she has raised a child herself, which is the best childcare experience of all!

Anonymous said...

Wow Mom, you're young. I thought you were a senior citizen the way you referred to yourself in some of your posts.

Anonymous said...

My friend has a 55-yo nanny who was with one family for 12 years before taking over as my friend's nanny. She had a younger person with less experience, so she gradually worked in the older nanny because she worried about her energy, etc. The younger person isn't even a thought now. The older nanny is incredible with my friends 18mo daughter and my friend says she had more energy than she does (my friend is 37) and has been a nanny so long and so successfully, that she just really gets what kids need. I guess old or young is really case-by case.

Anonymous said...

I should clarify my 10:44 statement--the younger person wasn't brought on long-term, but temporarily, so my friend didn't just ditch a nanny she'd had a commitment to.

Anonymous said...

I guess I should send my child away. I am 43 and my child is 7, I am obviously way too old to be taking care of a child...........

sweet daddy said...

As a husband, I say:

Get the younger girl.

Thank you

Anonymous said...

The point is not about the ages. The OP is wondering which one to choose because neither strikes her as the right person. I say: "Next!" Keep looking until you find the right person that gives you no hesitations.

Anonymous said...

4:49, ITD
She said she liked the second candidate. Her friends are making her doubt her judgement.
OP, it is natural to be apprehensive when hiring a first nanny. Go with your best instincts, speak extensively with her references, and have a trial week. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Why on earth would your friend think early 30's is too old? I am a full time nanny and am 33. Older women have generally had more experience.

Anonymous said...

i am 38 and a 'younger' person coud not top my work.lol
my employers also would never 'trade me in'lol since when is 30 old? lol

Anonymous said...

People want younger nannies because they're easier to step on and control. An older nanny with more experience would not allow that to happen- she would not tolerate hanky panky (like the employer coming home late regularly with no extra pay).

Parents may also be afraid that the nanny will take charge of the child and raise the child her way rather than according to the parents' instructions.

If the older candidate is the one you prefer, I say go for it.

ess said...

I would go with the older, more experienced nanny, especially for such a young child. You want a mature, level headed adult to care for your child, and it sounds like you've found it in the older candidate. Your friend sounds like a bit of a ninny.

Anonymous said...

I am a 52-year-old nanny and I keep up with the kids ages 2,3, and 6 just fine. I do have degrees and experience but there is always more to learn!

I do want to comment that you have to go with your mother's instinct. Not all nannies are alike! Find the person whose personality fits best with you and your family because you will be working together as a team to raise your precious children.

Anonymous said...

If "Sweet daddy" is not a sly troll than I'm not surprised he advocates for a younger nanny. Many husbands are threatened by nannies within their own generation/peer group because they get just as turned on as they do by younger ones, even more so beacuse they know the former is better in bed. They can always hassle and pull a power trip on younger girl but not a woman in her 30's! Yet, they are very turned on by nannies who are in their early to mid 30's, that is if they are not too intimated to get an erection! Not saying all dads are like that but nothing turns an idiot roving eye husband on more than a single energetic woman in her early to mid 30's nurturing his kids and being in his personal space.

Anonymous said...

The first comment really said it all. Unless you are 100% sure about the candidate, don't hire her. There are thousands of nannies in your community and it may take a while, but you'll find the right one.

Also, age (unless perhaps they are too old to get around) really shouldn't be an issue. As long as she has experience (child classes don't = experience), has a positive and warm personality, and she fits in with your family, then trust your gut and go with her. Also, unless your friends are paying for your nanny, or are going to spend countless hours worrying about how your child is being treated by any nanny, then don't let their opinions factor into your decision.

drunken college years said...

Of course go with the younger nanny. Why hire an old bag if you can hire a hot young thing.

Anonymous said...

DCY (8:42)
Oh shut up, will ya. You sound horny and pathetic. Don't your wife give you none?
Gee, I wonder why?
Loser!

Anonymous said...

em/peace/2As at 9:52.
We see you. Didn't you claim that you could hide if you wanted to? Please try harder. You're such a drag.

Anonymous said...

why does it have to be a girl? why not a guy? there are several guys i know of who are in thier mid-early 20s who are extreamly great with kids , have Early childhood education units, or degrees, but just cause they have a penis no one would hire them.

really are you looking for someone who fits your criteria or someone who just has a vagina?

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately it has become clear that 2As/peace/em is on this thread, using several monikers, trying to bait another unsuspecting blogger into a fight. Ignore, ignore, ignore and it will go away. It hates to be ignored.

Anonymous said...

Some people just can't help it. I'm not gonna give them away - but they continue to use the same 'odd' words, over & over - and it just screams "HERE I AM"!

~handwriting/personality expert

Anonymous said...

Listen to Sweet Daddy

Be sure that you're the hottest chick in the house.

And I'm not kidding.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

10:11 PM

Because men are predatory more often than women.

It's a fact you might not like, but it's a fact.

Anonymous said...

.... and 12:01 makes a prime example!

Anonymous said...

I am a 36 year old professional nanny. I am great at my job now and I was great at it when I was 22. (not to toot my own horn or anything but I am a seriously kick a$$ nanny) I don't really think that age has a whole lot to do with it. If you are more comfortable with the older candidate why don't you do a trial period of say one month. After the month is up you can either continue the arrangement or dissolve the employment agreement guilt free! Good luck!

Meghan G, Santa Clara said...

My 40 year old nanny makes over 100K a year caring for our 4 children, and they are now all in school all day. We'll keep her forever, if she will have us. She is a vital component of our home life!

Anonymous said...

how is 30 something too old? do you want a teenager looking after your child instead???

Anonymous said...

My nanny is 32 with 2 children of her own. I preferred a nanny her age to one much younger who may be prone to staying out late and not coming to work on time. I certainly do not think anyone in their 30s is too old.

cali mom said...

Geez, it's people like OP who remind me of how much I wish a license could be required before giving birth.

I'm sorry OP, but if you truly believe "early 30's" is too old to be able to care for a child, then you must be under 15. You are definitely too YOUNG to be having a child. But unfortunately, it's too late to stop you.

But to answer your question, if your main objective is for the nanny to teach the kids how to blow the biggest bubbles with their grape bubblegum and help them keep up with the latest on MTV, then the younger one will be your best bet.

Anonymous said...

lol, good one.

Anonymous said...

... "too old to nanny"? What does that mean? I imagine your friend is making more of a "she should have a 'real' job by now/kids of her own by now" statement about the woman's lifestyle rather than a statement about her qualifications.

Anonymous said...

sue do nim,

so does that mean ALL men are that way? also there are some women who are predatory as well, statitics dont give you every detail of who is what, its just a small figure that there are female predators out there more than what is commonly said. and thats a fact a fact that you might not like but its a fact