Received Friday, November 30, 2007
I often see nannies in the Winter Garden or in the shops at WFC and while a good number of them are interacting with their charges, many of them are hanging out with other nannies, gabbing away and barely watching the kids they are paid to care for (this isn't lunchtime, but usually early afternoon). The kids are usually just in their strollers, bored. I've been wanting to post a general comment about this for a few weeks, but today's sighting pushed me over the edge.
THE NANNY: African-American nanny, medium build, eggplant-colored sweater and light wash blue jeans, brown plastic frame glasses (stylish) and chin-length bob-style hair pushed away from the face.
THE KIDS: Two boys, one appeared to be about 2yo, the other was about 1yo. They were in a black Mountain Buggy Urban double stroller and I could see a military/camouflage color bag (not sure if it was the kids or the nanny's) under the stroller. The kids were dressed almost identical (or could have been identical) green pants (corduroys, I believe) that were folded up/rolled up at the bottom, trendy brown suede/soft fabric shoes and black sweatshirts with a funky design on them. Each child had a sippy cup and the smaller child had a small doll with yarn hair.
WHERE/WHEN: Seating/bench area between WFC 1 and WFC 2, outside of Elixir smoothie shop, first saw them at 3pm, then again at 3:30pm when I came back by. Today, Nov. 30.
THE PROBLEM: This nanny paid NO attention to these kids. She had the stroller facing away from her the entire time. She was chatting with another nanny (who was paying attention to her charge, a little girl, between chatting. She was looking at some sales catalogues and chatting away. The smaller child was whining and unhappy. The older child was making noises and faces to try to soother the smaller child. Both of them seemed bored out of their minds and even as the older child joined in the whining, the nanny DID NOTHING except rock the stroller from behind for a second, never turning away from her sales sheet and the other nanny. She never once looked over, spoke to the children or anything. I watched this scene and wrote this all down for about 5 minutes. The children were increasingly restless and just looked frustrated and bored all at once. The smaller child kept whining and the older child was really getting restless, wanting to come out of the stroller. He saw me watching and reached his arms up I just waved and made a funny face and he smiled for a second. But the whole time, nothing from the Nanny. When I came back by from my errand at about 3:30pm, the scene was EXACTLY the same, only now the nanny was also on the phone, the younger child was fully whining and looked about to cry, both of their sippy cups had been thrown to the floor with the older child struggling and crying for the cup, the kids were still facing away, the nanny was still ignoring the kids completely... nothing about the scene had changed. This scene broke my heart because these kids seemed so sweet and just wanted some attention and this nanny looked like she could care less. The kids weren't even facing her and she never responded to them. It was if they weren't there. I dunno, maybe this is ok with some parents, but this level of care (or lack of it) just seemed completely unacceptable. I have a 2yo myself and I just couldn't imagine him in that situation, being ignored and having to comfort a younger sibling and reaching out to a stranger to help him out because his nanny couldn't have cared less. Moms, if you live in Battery Park City and you think your nanny might frequent WFC, I'm begging you, do a pop-in and look around... send a friend to peek around during the day and look for your kids. While half the nannies I see are focused on the kids, the other half are not and your kids deserve a little affection... or at least acknowledgement from their nannies.
32 comments:
Pop-ins are always good. Moms know what is going on. The Nanny knows mom could be around the corner and so do the children.
Hopefully we'll get some paranoid moms to stop by on their lunch hour to check out their kids now.
I've seen this kind of scene a lot. Mostly at parks. There should of been books or toys for the poor children but I do agree thse children should be out running around playing and the nanny needs to go. She is taking money and not working for it. Not even looking at the children. The kids could try to slip out of the stroller and strangle and she wouldn't even know it.
Was this a nanny or a babysitter?
It sounds like a babysitter to me. There are fine day care institutions in the area... maybe the parents should consider placing their children there.
And that "nanny" doesn't belong anywhere near children... and the same goes for parents who would hire someone like that.
What?????????? Are these nannies all related or something? Possibly cousins with some sort of genetic disorder? I've read far too many sightings about these sadistic nannies void of any real sensitivity toward children. Yet they choose to work in this capacity.
12:01
What would make you so sure that this was a babysitter ... nannies are absolutely capable of ignoring children in their care, also.
12:38, and Mommy Dearest,
I'm afraid these slugs don't CHOOSE to work in this field. It is the only job they can get, other than cleaning, which is often included in their "nanny" job.
I think what the poster meant by these women being babysitters, as opposed to nannies was the difference in qualifications, not what the parents call them. Real nannies do chose to work with children, are knowledgeable about child development, and put a lot of effort into providing stimulation
Just wondering where the posters child was. Was your two year with you? Or do you have your child in daycare or with a nanny?
7:44
What does it matter? Poster saw something that disturbed her and reported it. We're not here to judge HER mothering skills.
in
I don't understand why so many on this site knock daycare and hold it out as some horrible alternative. I never worried about childcare until I had to go to nanny care when my daughter entered school. There are many, many excellent daycares out there that offer far more than in home care can. I used a daycare at a Y that was excellent (it has a 2 year waiting list if you are not an employee of a sponsoring company). As an infant, the child to teacher ratio was a minimum of 4 to 1 at all times and was even better when it was not the lunch hour. (I know because I worked locally and breast fed until around 16 months, but had disliked pumping, so I would stop in every few hours to feed my baby for almost a year). They followed a primary care model, so my daughter bonded to one main provider. After two, she had swim, yoga, gymnastics, and music every week because children in their daycare had the opportunity to take advantage of the Y's facilities, plus there were many special trips and events. My sister had a similarly good experience with a daycare in DC for Federal employees and several of my co-workers have found other excellent facilities. After several bad nanny experiences, I've found someone good, but it has been a rocky road. Don't rule out daycare.
Everyone has a different opinion of Daycare. Unfortunately, mine is negative.
When I was little, both of my Parents worked and decided to put me in Daycare. I remember nothing but brutality by the childcare Providers. One incident in particular, I was around 4 y.o., and we were being served meatloaf for lunch. I didn't want to eat it, and they made me sit there until I did. After sitting there by myself for about 2 hrs., I guess they became upset with me because I still hadn't touched the food, and started smacking me on my hands, arms and legs with a ruler.
I suffered a lot there, and was grateful when my mom finally took me out. (I never said anything until many years later because I was afraid, traumatized).
I know there are some good Daycares out there, but obviously, because of my experience, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I have a 6 y.o. son, and he has NEVER spent a day in any childcare facility, or with a babysitter (except with Family), or a Nanny. My choice.
I guess things are a little different nowadays (but some of these post do prove otherwise), and it 'may' be safer ... but why would I take that chance? My son is precious to me, and the very thought of someone abusing him chills me to the very core of my being.
I gave up a very lucrative career to stay home with my son, and nobody ... not a babysitter or Nanny, will love and care for him better than I can.
this is for 8,58pm. Im sorry that happened to u. But not all people are bad. I worked for a family for about 18 months and then they moved. I still miss their son. Its been about 6 months since they moved, we still keep in touch and when I would use them as a reference they would say I was like a part of their family and their son still asks for me..
7:47: huh??
10:15
8:58 here
I know there are a lot of good people out there, but I do think my experiences have defined who I am as a person ... and a mom. I do have friends that have chosen to work, one in particular that uses the 'Y', and she raves about it, also. (I've been there, it is very nice, clean and the Employees, etc. are fantastic). But as I said, using Daycare is not an option for me. I only wish more Parents would take the time to check out whomever they decide will watch their child, and do frequent, unannounced 'pop-ins'. Maybe had this been the norm back in the day, I wouldn't have had to go through what I did.
I'm glad you and your family worked out, I believe that perfect match is rare, but when you have it, the child thrives.
10:15 and 8:58
I agree completely.
first of all, what does it matter if the person is a nanny or a regular babysitter? its someone getting paid to watch a child who obviously should find a different job. second, from what ive seen here, "real nannies" arent much better either. of course, there are some good ones for both (sitters and nannies). either way, im sure it is hard to take care of someone elses children.
oh, yeah and third thing, MY DAUGHTER IS IN HER ROOM. what does it matter where the posters kids are? to witness something like this doesnt take a whole lot of work. you can hold your child and watch someone being mean to a child. that was a completely stupid comment to make "just wondering where the posters child was", who cares!!!! in her arms, in the stroller, at home with his/her dad or other family member, at a daycare, in school, with a nanny. the point is, she saw something that was WRONG
this is for 1:43
Bitch I was just stating my thoughts, just like you. Just because I was wondering where the posters child was doesn't mean you have to call my posting stupid.
I can't believe I'm about to stick up for em, but 3:08, please calm down. Most often, when a poster is asking where OPs kids are, it's in a derogatory way. If you meant no harm ... then, no foul.
how do you know that was em?
Same writing style. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Nothing bad was said.
:)
Too bad...I had hoped she was off stirring her cauldron.
Thanks for the warning though.
I am the original poster, but I haven't been to the site for a few days. My son wasn't with me, I work in the building. He is at a family daycare during weekdays. It's run by a mom (50-something) and her daughter. The mom has run a family daycare for more than a decade and I did a lot of research before choosing the place (there's rarely an opening; kids often stay there from baby days until they go to prek) and I talked a lot to other moms whose kids went there or were currently there. Kids who are now seven and eight yo still asked their parents to "go see Nana" as the kids call the older woman. I, personally, am more comfortable with daycare because other moms and dads are always coming in and out. When my son was a baby, we lived in another place and he went to a small daycare center where the ratio was 3:1 and I worked nearby and visited almost every day.
I wrote in because I see scenes like this (though not as bad) every day in WFC.
Isn't it ironic that some of the richest kids in the world are some of the most neglected, whilst their parents believe they have provided them with the best of everything.
So sad for these poor kids.
4:55
You hit the nail on the head.
And those same moms are the ones looking down on stay at home moms who have sacrificed wealth for the good of their children, calling them dowdy, or unwashed, or judging them for the price of their strollers and shoes. And they have NO IDEA that they, themselves, are actually the most clueless, pathetic people of all.
I actually had some really pretentious, snobby women say intentionally snotty things to me like, "Isn't that the same car you've been driving for three or four years now?" or "I don't even consider this a house (about my house), I would call this a 'patio home.'" or "Aren't those shoes from laaaasssst year?" or, my personal favorite, "I could never stay home and watch a child all day. I have too high of an IQ." (My own IQ is quite high, and I do not consider stupidity a prerequisite for raising children, thank you very much.)
But I never felt bad...which I assume was their intent (or else to make themselves feel better because the sight of me being an involved mother reminded them of how selfish and crappy they were to their kids.) I just figured they were really messed up people with no clue about real life.
The most ironic thing is, when they had trouble with their own kids, some of these people would call me to ask what to do...because they were usually so removed from their children that they were helpless to handle anything when their nannies weren't there.
well, actually, mom, these sad comments do sound like they were uttered by wealthy SAHMs with nannies. Most working mothers I know tend to have a better use for their money.
Hell, I wouldn't even mind having last years shoes.
to elaborate:
I dress as best I can. I'm neat and clean. I do not have the trendiest clothes, but that's ok.
I spend my money on my kids. They have nice clothes and shoes. I go without so they don't have to.
I remember being in school and getting teased because I wore "bo-bo" clothes. I swore that whatever it took, even if I had to dress in rags, my kids would look nice. I don't want them to go through what I did.
I shopped sales at the end of seasons and got GREAT prices on nice clothes and shoes for my kids. I also live near a cleareance store for a major department store. We got things for a FRACTION of the cost...again very nice things (clothes and shoes)...but they were "last season's." SO what!? Who has time for people who actually keep up with and CARE what season your clothes are from?! And I keep my clothes and shoes for as long as they are good, or in style at all...so eventually everything is at least last years. I bought my kids clothes a little big so they could wear them as long as possible. What do these people do, toss out everything every season?
You know what would be nice? A wealthy SAHM w/ a nanny to be reading our posts right now, and feeling really grateful for what she's got. I do not feel any less powerful when I run into these snobs and they turn their nose up at my shoes.
I feel sorry for them.
They should stamp a # on each nanny's arm to idenify them. It would make taking them out so much easer!!
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